From One
From One
who says, “Don’t cry.
You’ll like it after a while.”
and Two who tells you thank-you
after the fact and can’t look at your face.
To Three who pays for your breakfast
and a cab home
and your mother’s rent.
To Four
who says,
“But you felt so good
I didn’t know how to stop.”
To Five who says giving your body
is tough
but something you do very well.
To Six
Who smells of tobacco
and says “Come on, I can feel that
you love this.”
To those who feel bad in the morning yes,
some feel bad in the morning
and sometimes they tell you
you want it
and sometimes you think that you do.
Thank heavens you’re resetting
ever setting and resetting
How else do you sew up the tears?
How else can the body survive?
More Posts from Invisiblynumb and Others
Loving you was like going to war, I never came back the same…
There is a hopelessness in my chest , a weightless, heavy thing no one can see.
I used to feel shock at the word ‘suicide’ wondering how someone could truly end it all. The one telling others things get better.. but humans are naturally designed to fight to stay alive..I know this because when I stood at the edge, I was held back by the smallest hope for life. But now I don’t wonder anymore… hope is a gift not everyone gets to keep. Some of us are just left with an emptiness where hope used to be. They say ‘’hold on it gets better” sound familiar? But they never tell you how heavy hope can feel in hands that have already been holding on for so long.
Truth is, it NEVER GETS BETTER , people just like to drill some type of encouragement or hope inside you like when you are young and your parents used to tell you , “”if we don’t punish you, you won’t learn for next time” truth is it wouldn’t make any difference the next time but it sure made mommy and daddy feel powerful. Or “God is good he will look over you” we’ll turn off your favorite movie and look at the news or “” money doesn’t buy happiness/money doesn’t matter”” yeah only if you have all powerful giants giving you everything for free. Truth is , we have been living a lie from day one… it’s ok though.. after all it always gets better….
When I say I hit an all time low,
I mean that I spent two hundred and eighty nine days without sunlight,
I’ve never known a rose to grow immersed in eternal night -
auctioned off my heart for the gift of sight,
I wonder how long I’ve lived my life blinded by the rose tinted glass?
false love will have you struggling to distinguish between gold and brass.
I draw out the sequence.
your palms met her flesh,
my reflection in the mirror is reduced to ash.
I feel my heart hit the floor,
blood stains in the carpet - proof that love does not live here anymore
next time just wrap them around my neck,
I get the same hand of cards
out of every single deck.
from love,
suffocating, choking,
that is the only sensation I have come to expect,
you know that better than me,
extinguished every fire set to your trees,
don’t you remember?
she left everything around you to burn,
choked on all the smoke,
still you fixated on all the ember,
if this body was ever not hollow,
I wouldn’t remember.
two hundred and eighty nine days,
I spent treading in the shallow,
moulded my existence out of clay just to fill another persons shadow.
