1/28/25
I have a burning desire to hold opinions on things that are none of my business. I also love unintentional comedy, I love stories that are so unaware of how bad they are, that they’re quite good. This blog post started as an experiment. The plan was to read the lowest-rated book in my library and then read the highest-rated book to see how they compare. The lowest-rated book in my library happens to be Stones to Abbigale by Onision, with an average of 1.87 stars on Goodreads, which is concerning. Goodreads tends to be very forgiving with reviews, if you can find anything below 3.50, you’re in for a wild ride. After reading this novel and compiling my notes, I realized that this novel is so grotesque, so insulting, that it deserves its own post entirely.
Onision is a disgraced YouTuber who has been accused of s*xual ass*ult. Among the countless videos about him on YouTube, there are plenty that discuss his lackluster books. Curiosity ebbing in my heart, I bought a used copy on eBay and waited eagerly for the novel to arrive. I was worried I’d be biased while reading the book, being aware of how other people feel about it and Onision’s past, but oh boy, I didn’t think about Onision once while reading it. The book completely immersed me. Not because it was good, but because it was so terrible I couldn’t focus on anything else.
This novel is 180 pages and normally I could knock that out in an evening, but I had to pause often to regain my composure and wait for the growing migraine to dull before diving back in. On BookTube it’s easy to find reviews of readers claiming to have found the worst book, but they’re all wrong. Stones to Abbigale is the worst novel. Ever. It contains immature, inauthentic, pretentious writing, filled to the brim with spelling errors, characters that make no sense, and senseless tragedies that are used to make the novel feel edgy and deep.
This post contains spoilers, (trust me, please don’t read this book) and trigger warnings for s*xual ass*ult, school sh*otings, m*scarriages, ab*se, self-h*rm, s*icide, and death, though I talk about none of these things in detail.
Stones to Abbigale follows James, a high school student who falls in love with his classmate, Abbi. There is no standard plot to the story; it’s less of a novel and more of a random series of events that happen to these two teens.
The other characters include Ms. Robertson, Jason, Davis, James’s Mom, Seth, and Barack Obama. There are more characters but they don’t matter.
Actually, none of the characters matter. In most novels, the author takes time for the reader to develop a connection to the characters, that way the reader will care about the story and continue to read it. In this novel, I was divorced from James and Abbi. There are scenes in this book where you should be worried about their safety and I felt nothing. There were even points where I was rooting for them to die, and these characters aren’t written to be unlikeable, they just are. Onision meant for the reader to sympathize with these characters.
We’re chronically told how smart, funny, and kind-hearted James is, but we’re never shown that. James’s inner dialogue reads like an alien’s memoir and his two personality traits are being ‘observant’ and being obsessed with Abbi. As James parades through the story, everyone is chronically kissing his ass, including the president of the United States.
Abbi doesn’t have a personality beyond having a cartoonishly tragic past and having the hots for James.
Ms. Robertson is the guidance counselor at the school and she does not behave like a human being. She’s framed as being a crazy religious Karen who has a personal beef with Abbi because Abbi was s*xually ass*ulted and when she didn’t want to keep the baby, Ms. Robertson lost her shit. Okay, that’s believable, there are tons of pro-life asshats out in the world, but Ms. Robertson loathes Abbi to the point it seems like she knows something about her that we don’t. This could've been an interesting subplot, but it was not handled well at all and came off as unbelievable. Ms. Robertson’s crimes against humanity include screaming at children in public, changing James’s class schedule so he can spend more time with Abbi, and framing innocent children for crimes they didn’t commit.
Davis is James’s ‘best friend.’ I use that term loosely because as soon as James starts dating Abbi he seemingly forgets about Davis. But Davis does not forget about him. Davis is in love with James. This is unconfirmed, but Davis goes on and on about how much he loves his buddy! Platonically, of course! At one point, Davis becomes withdrawn when James starts dating Abbi and even asks James if he ever thinks about anyone else in a romantic way. This would be an interesting subplot but it is never explored and it is never confirmed that Davis has romantic feelings for James, though it is quite obvious. Davis seems to love James a little too much… Davis’s crimes against humanity include talking like a mentally ill eight-year-old and having no interests outside of James.
James’s Mom is a cardboard cut-out who does whatever is convenient for James, which I’ll talk more about later.
Seth is Abbi’s boyfriend, who she eventually leaves to be with James. Seth is ab*sive and cartoonishly evil.
Jason switches back and forth from being a meathead bully who s*xually ass*ults classmates, to a brain-dead himbo.
Barack Obama makes a brief appearance to congratulate James on being a good person. He is never referred to as Barack Obama, just ‘the President,’ but since this book was published in 2015, this officially means that Obama made an appearance in this story. He visits James’s school shortly after a sh*oting took place there and took the individual time to speak with every class. When visiting James’s class, he knows exactly who James is, because James is the main character.
“James Patrick, the boy who nearly saved the day.” - Barack Obama
By the way, James did nothing during the sh*oting except roller skate through the school searching for Abbi. That was all he did.
The authenticity and realism of this novel were a big reason why I couldn’t empathize with these characters. This book is written how Onision believes teenagers think, but the entire novel feels unrealistic and inauthentic. Nobody talks in a normal way, nobody thinks normally. This book felt like it was written by an alien who doesn’t understand human nuances or emotions. At one point there is a school sh*oting and the only observation that James has about the incident is that his classmates are staticistly higher to experience depression or s*icide.
“[The survivors are] all now subjected to a heightened risk for depression and, statistically, even s*icide.” - James
The most egregious example of the characters behaving unrealistically is when James’s Mom invites Abbi to move in with them after her father is arrested and allows her teenage son and his girlfriend to sleep in the same bed and share the same room. Later on, James’s Mom gets remarried and moves in with her husband, leaving James and Abbi alone in the house to finish out the school year on their own with no adult supervision.
The entire novel is filled with sentences that are empty and devoid of meaning, sentences that are meant to be deep and hard-hitting. This book is like a novelization of all the r/im14andthisisdeep posts.
“Make up is just make up, skin is just skin, it is what it is.” - James
I can’t forgive this book for its sloppy, ham-fisted use of very serious issues. This book includes s*xual ass*ult, s*icide, self-h*rm, ab*se, a school sh*oting, and a m*scarriage, and absolutely none of those things added to the story. The school sh*oting is conducted by Seth shortly after Abbi breaks up with him, and it is an event that is used as a dramatic garnish right in the middle of the story and none of the main characters die or get hurt, so it doesn’t matter. The other terrible events are just a randomized list of occurrences that Abbi experienced in the past, horrible things that she often laments about so James can fix her. Words can’t describe how angry I was when it was revealed that Abbi was SA’d.
This book has nothing to say about any of these serious issues. It is ill-prepared for it, and it doesn’t even try. To lazily shoot out incidents that have nothing to do with the story so that the writer can feel deep and smart is something that I cannot take. How dare this writer use such a terrible thing as a random occurrence to make us feel bad for these unlikable childish characters. I’m not against any of these topics being written about, but when you, as a writer, introduce them into your novel, you have a responsibility to the people who suffered through these things to write about it seriously and realistically and not treat it as a joke. Onision should’ve just written “fuck SA survivors,” on his online forum and left it at that. Instead, we get this shit.
This entire novel reeks of arrogance. This novel has so many spelling errors. If I’m to believe what Amazon tells me, Onision’s partner, Kai, edited this novel, and boy, did they do a bad job. The writing style is borderline unreadable. There were so many spelling errors and the language was stilted. Just one pass through a spell check system is all it would take. Onision has fans who offered to edit it for free, and he refused. Why? Because he’s arrogant. He believes the novel doesn’t need a second or third draft, he believes it’s fine the way it is and if we can’t see that, then we just can’t appreciate true art!
James is a self-insert character for Onision. It is obvious through the way everyone treats James and his heavy plot armor, not to mention the fact that Onision’s real name is Gregory James Daniel. In the description of the book, Onision writes, “James is essentially a better version of myself. His home, his school & his life all resemble my own at his age. The people James analyzes and is surrounded by are not so unlike those I’ve known as well. I have experienced much of the loss James has however his happier moments are more often than not also mine. I want to share my story without it being purely non-fiction.”
I hope that droning, moronic sentence gives you a glimpse into what it was like to read this book. By the way, any spelling errors you see in the quotes are Onision’s and his alone.
If this is a fictionalized retelling of actual events, then what parts of this are real, then? If this novel was a way for Onision to tell his story without the confines of reality, then what percentage of this actually happened? Did Onision meet Obama? Are they still bros? Did Onision’s mother give him an apartment when he was a junior in high school? Did Onision survive a school sh*oting? From what I can find, Gregory James Daniel or James Jackson, has never survived a school sh*oting. What about this novel was real? What parts of this novel actually happened? None. None of this happened. Onision romanticized his childhood and added some random bullshit drama and violence to juice it up. The end.
On top of everything else, this book has the audacity to be pretentious. Some people can do pretention well, like Quentin Tarantino, or Christopher Nolan. Gregory James Daniel has not earned the right to be pretentious. If you’re going to be pretentious, at least give me a good story, but Onision can’t do that because he’s too arrogant to accept feedback or criticism.
The only saving grace of this story is that it can be funny sometimes. Not funny in the way it was intended, but funny nonetheless. Around 2/3 into the story, James, Abbi, and Davis are driving and witness a man jump off an overpass. Davis rushes out of the car, which is still moving, by the way, and attempts to help the man, who is clearly dead, and gets hit by a car and fucking dies. This all happens within two pages, and I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes. It was so unexpected, completely out of left field, and so fucking stupid.
So after this, we get a chapter of James blaming himself, even though he didn’t do anything, Davis’s mom praising James for being a good friend, and James pushing the pain away by smashing his girlfriend.
“[Abbi] was all I had left.” - James
So, how does the story end? Someone blows up the school. That’s it. The school is blown up and the last line of the story is, “Well, I guess I won’t be running for [class] president.”
Whoa… what a story. I bought this book on eBay for five dollars, but if I had paid full price, it would’ve been ten. Ten dollars. That was how much I made per hour at my last job. That means that one hour of labor is equal to this torture nexus. God fucking damn it…
If you’re curious about the details of this book, watch one of the countless YouTube videos made about it instead of reading it. I recommend the one by @strange-aeons, which was how I found out about this goddamn monstrosity in the first place.
I gave this story 1 star on Goodreads and 0 stars on Storygraph because Storygraph is a superior app. When looking at other reviews on Goodreads and Storygraph, it seems all the positive reviews are either people trying to give Onision the benefit of the doubt or people who are being sarcastic.
Overall, this book is similar to The Perks of Being a Wallflower if it was co-written by a fourteen-year-old and a mentally ill incel and published on Temu.
Final grade: BAD
Rick Stepp (irresponsibleink@gmail.com)
no matter what this will always hold true in a daredevil series:
Loving B&W photos.
My boy-rbie
There's a difference between "this novella needed to be novel length for the story to feel complete" and "I enjoyed this novella so much that I wish it was novel length" and people confuse those often.
Don't forget about the Palestinians.
Don't forget about them now.
Don't forget about them tomorrow.
Don't forget about them in a week from now.
Don't forget about them in a month.
Don't forget them next year.
Don't forget them in 5 years.
When the history books start to update, don't let them put lies in there.
When documentaries come out, boycott the ones who call this a victory for Israel.
When books release talking about soldier's personal experiences with Palestine, remember the victims. Remember the truth.
Don't forget about what we've seen.
Don't forget about what we've heard.
Don't let them tell lies about Palestine.
Don't forget about the Palestinians when the world tries to make this go away.
**No Spoilers**
I watched Blood and Honey 2 on opening night and I was surprised. The first movie was mediocre and my hopes for the sequel were in the gutter. It seems director Rhys Frake-Waterfield worked out some kinks from the first movie. Maybe constructive criticism did its job here and Frake-Waterfield listened to the reviews of the first film.
The first Blood and Honey film put spectacle over storytelling. The production team expected the sensationalism of the concept to carry it through and they were mistaken. Reviewing the first film in any serious capacity would be a mistake, as it’s clear they weren’t trying to make a serious film. They took the sequel more seriously, which opened the door for guys like me to tear into it. For people like me who have seen a lot of slasher flicks, Blood and Honey was nothing to write home about. During my viewing of the first film, I had to fight to stay awake.
The sequel changed some details from the first film. For starters, this film includes characters such as Owl and Tigger, who weren’t in the public domain when the first movie was in production. I was pissed Tigger wasn’t in the first film. Tigger is the Batman to Pooh’s Superman and if anyone can tell you with a straight face they prefer Pooh to Tigger they are not to be trusted. Another change I enjoyed was the redesign of Pooh and Piglet. I understand the original design was about taking the original character of Pooh and making him scary, but you can’t tell me that Pooh is supposed to be a bear-human hybrid and then show me a man with yellow leathery skin. In this film, they updated Pooh to look more animalistic, giving him hints of fur and razor-sharp teeth.
They also changed the leading man, recasting Christopher Robin’s character with producer Scott Chambers. The acting in this film is pretty standard. The strongest link in the crew was Tallulah Evans who had good charisma as her character Lexy. Except Lexy, the supporting roles were not greatly noticeable and they didn’t take up a lot of runtime.
The special effects were a step up, as well. In the first film, the crummy effects made the gore look a lot less like blood and guts and more like some cheap props you could buy at a discount store. I'm surprised that Pooh didn't appear after the credits and thank PartyCity for sponsoring the movie. In the sequel, the props looked very professional. The gore looked real enough to make your stomach turn but not so real you can’t enjoy snacking during the movie.
Character-wise, I was invested in Christopher’s story. I was rooting for him right from the beginning. This film opens with everyone in his small town believing he’s a brutal killer and that leaves him on a quest to deal with his trauma and confront his monsters (both real and figurative). I liked the supporting characters. It was very endearing to see how much Lexy and Bunny (Thea Evans) cared about Christopher and believed in him when a lot of people didn’t.
While I was invested in Christopher’s journey, the first three-quarters of the movie dragged a bit. Christopher is on a quest for answers, so naturally, a lot of the film is him trying to get to those answers any way he can. But this is still a slasher film! During this “investigative” period, they throw in a few kills to keep us invested, but Christopher and Pooh don’t even confront each other until the final quarter of the film.
Speaking of the kills, they were very brutal. Bear traps, exploding campers, flaming chainsaws, what fun! A lot of people may think, ‘A flaming chainsaw? That isn’t realistic!’ All I have to say is, dude, if you’re worried about how a flaming chainsaw isn’t realistic then maybe a movie about animal-human hybrids isn’t for you.
The score was fine, but there were times when the music was a little out of place. It was disorienting to be watching a sad or frightening scene and hear music that sounded hopeful. The narrator also took the piss out of the movie. It was so jarring to watch a serious and intense scene and then to jump to narration like someone is reading a bedtime story to us.
About that plot twist… Words cannot describe how out of left field it was. I’m glad they explained where the creatures came from, but… yikes. It was entertaining, but a bit convoluted. Also, why did Pooh have to be that character the whole time? That just complicates Christopher and Pooh’s relationship in a way it didn’t need to be complicated. They already had a troubled past together, so why make it more tragic for no reason?
Then there was the rave scene. I almost cheered when Tigger came onto the scene. I love Tigger! Whether he’s bouncing around in a colorful cartoon or murdering people with his claws and calling his victims fluorescent bitches, Tigger is the OG of the Hundred Acre Wood. And it was so fun to see Pooh batter people around while trap music played. It reminded me of that party bus scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022). I also loved how Pooh and the others kept Tigger in a cage because they knew how fucking crazy he was.
Was it a good movie? Uh, sure? It wasn’t the best slasher I’ve ever seen but watching it wasn’t a complete waste of time. I would wait until this one hits streaming services before you go watch it. A part of me feels stupid for spending money to watch such a mediocre movie when I could have just waited for it to come to Peacock. That being said, I’m genuinely excited to see what else the Twitsted Childhood Universe has to offer.
I believe Frake-Waterfield is self-aware about how stupid these movies are. But they’re fun to watch and I bet they’re pretty fun to make. There are worse moves to watch this weekend.
Final score = 62.5%
Rick Stepp (calebstepp23@gmail.com)
No thanks.
Daredevil: Born Again, Heaven's Half Hour (S01E01)
I'm Rick, and I write essays, rants, and reviews for movies, shows, books, and occasionally albums. Visit my website for reviews with spoilers.He/him pronouns.
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