Dear Scientists,

This hit hard. I’m glad they put this bit in, I couldn’t have put my experience in better words. It’s important to step back to think what a success is and do a check. Where do I want to be and why? If I’m not there, am I taking the steps towards that goal?  And a reminder that progress isn’t linear. Sometimes we have other things going on and have to take a step back to take two steps forward. 

Things take time. That’s a reminder. 

"Don't be afraid to reach out and make new friends with people that will show you the respect you deserve."

Here’s a little reminder that friends should not belittle your interests, whether personal or academic. Your answer to “what do you want to be?” should be enough. Your decision not to leave the house because you’re studying for the midterm should be enough. Your desire to pay attention in class should be enough. If you have friends that mock or disregard your desire to do well, they’re not friends worth having. Even if they don’t want to do well themselves, they should respect your desire to. Don’t be afraid to reach out and make new friends with people that will show you the respect you deserve.

you know, life doesn’t have to be competitive. you don’t have to get in the very best university; you don’t have to get the highest paying career there is. you don’t need to compare and compete with everyone else in the world. you need to do what’s right for you. you need to relax, take a breath, and say ‘what do i want, for myself, to live as i want to’. and, if that involves high ambitions, then that’s fine. because you chose those ambitions on what you desire as an individual, and not on what is expected in order to succeed. let’s be ourselves this year.

UNIVERSITY WITH MENTAL ILLNESS

Mental health and illness is already hard enough, but adding school pressure on top is hard. High school was easier for me since there is a lot more structure and a lot less choice, which is why I'm targeting this towards college and university students.

Firstly is attending class. Getting to class is a major hurdle, especially with a commute like me (1 hour+) broke people problems lmao. Driving that long to go to a class just to drive back home is already exhausting and unpleasant, especially knowing professors will post slides or something after class anyways. But you have to drag yourself there. One thing I do to help is dress up. I'll do my makeup and put on nicer clothes. Why does this work for me? I hate wasting stuff, especially money and to me, putting on makeup is spending money essentially (same logic as using rare items in a video game idk). I can't just sit around the house and waste the money I just put on my face so I gotta go to class. Small things like this to trick your brain works so well. Before this, there was a restaurant I absolutely loved next to campus so if I went to every class for two weeks I would reward myself by going there. Another thing that helps is making plans with people ahead of time. They'll hold you accountable on days that you can't.

Take rest days. Schedule one whole day a week where you don't do school or go to work. It's a day completely off for anything. I use this day to do chores in the morning and then just lay around and do absolutely nothing all afternoon and night. This helps recharge and reduce stimulation and socialization. It gives your brain that little rest it cries for every day. I used to panic so much about this one day because I could be working and making money or studying or doing anything to be productive until I had a week where I couldn't do anything because I broke down completely, mentally and physically. Now I see it as a preservation day. I use this day to recover from everything.

Make your notes pretty. I hate going back and looking at my messy class notes. Everything is scattered and messy and I get frustrated. What I do instead is make a virtual, concise copy that is pretty to me. I'll add little sketches, color, pictures, etc. This helps draw my attention and allows me to study while doing it! Making the second copy forces you to go through the material after a class is over and review the material to decide what is truly important and then organize it all and then rewrite it all. This has been a huge help.

Use class breaks to snack or grab coffee. One thing I have found in many people with high anxiety is that food and drinks really help calm you down. I've found some research suggesting it's because food is a signal that things are safe and therefore makes you more relaxed, though I don't know much about anthropology and psychology fields. I find this really helps to calm me down after I had a very stressful test so that I can be more present for the next class. Gum helps a lot on high anxiety/panic days as well.

Download the notes or slides, especially if posted ahead of time. This way you have access even if you don't have wifi. You can even pull them up in lectures so you don't have to focus on the board the whole time. For my people with autism, this has helped me so much. There are times where you can't focus on the professor and the slides and the sounds and writing, so doing this cuts out having to watch the teacher and the board. Bonus points if you can record during lecture as well so you can revisit parts that you zoned out in or couldn't focus on.

Keep a journal or diary and list your activities, food, weather, etc in it as well as your mood. This can help you find correlations to hack shit. My favorite way of doing this is through the Daylio app (I wrote a post about it here). Like I notice that days when it's rainy, I study and read more and days where I walk more and eat breakfast, I focus better and am happier overall. This information helps so much. If I know it's going to rain tomorrow, I won't try to force myself to study a bunch today and instead save that energy for later. Instead, I'll take care of myself and go for a walk or something. Knowing how you work and why really makes a HUGE difference.

This might just be my autism brain, but finding cool things related to the topic at hand has helped me keep interest in at least a little of the subject, helping me study more. Like I don't like chimaeras (a fish group) BUT for some reason I love fish teeth and these fishes have a very unique tooth set. This at least let's me know something instead of just ignoring and forgetting everything. 20% is better than nothing.

Find a reason to study what you do, even if it's just that you need this class to graduate. Just taking classes for no reason seems like something neurotypical people are able to do. I can't do it. I need a reason and if I can't find one, I just give up. I used to always say it was useless and pointless and didn't understand why it was required. But I realized the reason to take it is because I want a piece of paper that says I traded lots of money and sanity for it. And that reason has to be good enough.

Make study games. Games are more fun than lifeless paper. Matching games, crosswords, coloring pages, whatever you like!

Feel free to add your tips to this post as well!! I always have room for improvement and experimentation, especially for really hard days. I still find myself skipping even online classes some days. No one had all the answers or has everything figured out. This is just an incomplete list of things that have helped me out a bit and made college life a bit easier.

Warning: 10 min read ahead :)

Coming into freshman year, I was relatively optimistic. However, I also did that thing where I prevent myself from having too strong of an opinion or extreme expectations (whether it’s positive or negative) before actually experiencing something, in order not to settle on a premature judgment. Even so, before starting freshman year, I was excited for a huge change - I was sick of mundane high school life. When I finally started college, man, was it liberating.

On Intellectual Development

I’d been taking more or less the same classes throughout high school. These classes covered the exact same topics - the only difference was the depth of the material. In college, however, I got to study a breadth of topics and subjects - astronomy, anthropology, information science, philosophy - subjects into which I barely dipped my toes, and when I did so, it was only through the books I read in my own time.

Choosing a liberal arts school is one of the best decisions I ever made because it exposes me to so many things I simply did not have access to in the earlier stages of my intellectual development. Like, yeah, I can read philosophy books whenever I want, but who will I talk to when I don’t understand an argument? How can I discipline my thinking, my writing, my approach to this new learning material? I can find any topic fascinating, but I can’t exactly set my mind on any of them because I haven’t had proper academic exposure. Plus, where high school humanities courses were easy and contained little engagement - just lots of material - the humanities courses I took in my freshman year of college got me thinking and reflecting and engaging with the material even when I didn’t intend to.

What I particularly enjoyed was the discussion sections in humanities courses. For those less familiar with the system, each course usually has a weekly discussion where students are split up into smaller classes and get to discuss anything related to the course material that week. I am not a naturally talkative or articulate person by any standard, let alone compared to Americans, so obviously these discussions were very challenging. But aside from helping me practice putting my thoughts into words and to interact verbally with academic material, these discussions did allow me to engage with the material in a way that I could not have alone, in a way that a STEM course probably could not be discussed.

My STEM courses, however, had their own merits. I very much enjoyed the project based, hands-on approach of most of the classes, especially when teamwork is involved. For my final project for a web programming and design course, my team and I got to make a website for an on-campus, student-run grocery store. For my intro CS final project, I got to code an entire game of alien invaders. This was so refreshing compared to the STEM courses I did in high school, where I was basically just learning the theory for 6 months, and then drilling past papers for the next 6 months. Theory in these STEM courses are also more involved and require more thinking, while high school science courses tend to be on the mechanical side.

College is also liberating because whenever I have the urge to understand something more deeply or find an ever-present curiosity sitting in the back of my mind, I can always enroll in a course or attend a lecture, instead of always being redirected to a predetermined course combination that doesn’t allow for intellectual exploration, and settling for an article, a youtube video, or a book instead. It’s an amazing feeling to always have a fountain of knowledge with which I can quench my intellectual thirst.

When it comes to learning things, I still have the same attitude as the wide-eyed freshman when I first came last fall. I kinda wish I had experimented more instead of jumping into my ‘intended major’, though. In my first two semesters here, I took astronomy, anthropology, comparative literature, computer science, economics, information science, mathematics, and philosophy, which is already quite a diverse course combination, but there are some other subjects I’d like to try out and definitely could have if I hadn’t settled for a major upon entering college. But wherever I end up - and I still have a year to decide - I’m sure I’ll choose something interdisciplinary and requires diverse ways of thinking.

On Paths (in Life, School, etc.)

The intellectual and academic rigidity of high school also kind of narrowed my scope for my own future. The courses and careers built into my head were the ones I was exposed to at school, at home, or in mainstream media. However, being exposed to all this new knowledge made me realize how little I’ve experienced - certainly not enough to determine where I’m going in life - and that it’s okay to not be sure of where I want to go.

There’s this perception that you should know where you want to be in the future by the time you turn 17 or 18 or whatever age you graduate high school, maybe even earlier if you take into account the college application period. But honestly, how realistic is that? I mean, it’s great if you discover your ‘passion’ early on in life, but then where’s your room to breathe? How can you explore the other joys life has to offer? How can be so sure that the path you’re on is the right one if you haven’t walked any other or even seen other possible paths? 

College freed me from feeling like I need to be certain of where I was going. It freed me from trying to pursue a predetermined path based solely on my past academic experience, and instead focus on trying new things to build new experiences and knowledge that will evolve into a path that I enjoy every step of the way.

That also applies to choosing a major. I started out ‘wanting’ to do computer science - wanting being a loose term meaning something I thought I should do, based on my background, experience, academic strengths, and personality. But then I noticed myself being very impartial towards pursuing the major and just doing the minimum amount of work needed for the classes. I also took the minimum number of CS classes each semester because I was honestly not looking forward to them - and I didn’t particularly enjoy them when I took them.

It wasn’t the same with my Info Sci classes, for example, where I started early on projects just because they were enjoyable to do, even if they were challenging. I learned how to do certain things when they weren’t required for the class, experienced a good flow when doing the projects, actually came to class because I wanted to, had initiative when it came to group projects, made friends with people in the class who I didn’t know before taking it - I was just more involved in the class. Overall, I was more motivated to learn, and I think that’s the most important thing (maybe that’s just the ravenclaw in me, who knows).

On a smaller scale, you might be good at a certain subject in high school only to find out you’re suddenly incompetent in it and aren’t interested enough to push through it. I was a math person in high school - like I almost didn’t even have to try - but the two math classes I’ve taken so far in college were very challenging for me, and I suppose that’s a good thing because it allowed me to push my limits further and think about whether I enjoy the challenge.

Recently, I read that true happiness comes when you find problems you enjoy solving, and I think that’s a good ideology to help you choose the path you wanna take.

On Things that Spark Joy

This past year, I also found that I was a lot happier than in high school because I got to pursue the things that bring me joy, whether it’s in regard to academics as I’ve described above, extracurriculars, or things in my daily life.

I got to wake up at whatever time I wanted to and had breakfast how I liked - both in terms of food and whether I had my coffee at home or to-go, or example. I could change my physical appearance in ways that make me feel powerful and confident - in terms of clothing and hair and just how I presented myself in general. When I needed to breathe, I could walk around town or go down to the gorges. I could do my work when and where it was most convenient for me (most of the time).

With regard to extracurriculars, there were a lot of opportunities for me to try new things and continue doing the things I already love. I became a graphic designer for a cultural magazine, which allowed me to do one of my favorite things for a purpose towards which I’m happy to be working. My high school didn’t have any publications and had a seasonal need for graphic designers (mainly school events). I tried out for music groups, trained to be a DJ, watched and discussed films I wouldn’t have seen if it weren’t for Cornell Cinema, went to the concerts of bands that never come to Indonesia. I attended social events I was interested in, and skipped those that I didn’t want to go to, attended workshops, listened to guest lectures, etc. I hung out with people I enjoyed being around, instead of those with whom the only thing I had in common was physical location.

One of the things I’m still adjusting to, however, is the different dynamic of college friendships compared to high school friendships in that they’re more spread out in away - like you’d know a whole bunch of people but they don’t mutually know each other, and there isn’t really like a friend group. Maybe that’s just me. But either way, I also realized that my closest friends in high school took at least 3 or 4 years to go from merely a familiar face to people I’d call for four hours straight and send my sporadic thoughts to. So I guess I gotta be patient and have faith that with time, compatible and like-minded individuals will gravitate towards one another.

On Self-Discovery

Starting college also allowed me to be who I am and who I want to be as opposed to who people think I am and who people expect me to be. Whenever I decide to do something, I don’t have this fear of being ‘out of character’ since I haven’t entirely established who I am yet in the context of college. By doing things I’ve never done before, I learn things about myself that I probably could not have had I stayed in the same environment (i.e. high school).

Among other things, I noticed that if I don’t want to do something, I will deliberately sabotage myself to make it harder for me to achieve. On the other hand, if I want to succeed or do well in something, I’ll take initiative. That might seem obvious, but the thing is, I don’t always consciously know what I want or like so analyzing my own actions helps a lot. Because college exposes me to so many different material, there’s more data and information to work with, in which to recognize patterns.

A lot of the self-discovery that’s happened is personal, as it should be, but one of the things I’m really grateful for is taking that philosophy course the first semester of college. It made me reassess everything I knew and believed and decide on what values and thoughts I should keep.

I guess one thing I’d advise you to do is to experience new things and reflect on the impact of those new experiences. Sometimes it might not feel like you’ve done a ton of things after a whole year. I’ve had moments where I thought about all the things I thought I should have accomplished but didn’t, and I was like, ‘did I just waste an entire year doing nothing?’ But then I look back on the things I did do - took awesome courses, made amazing friends, got a job, learned to live on my own, etc. - and realized I gotta give myself a little more credit.

On Everything

Coming into college was a huge positive change. Something I wish I could tell myself at the beginning of the year is firstly not to fear making mistakes, so you won’t be afraid of trying new things. Keeping an open mind is great, but not entirely helpful if you don’t venture out into unknown territory to provide you with things to think about. Step out of your comfort zone and don’t be afraid to redefine yourself, but in all circumstances, don’t lose track of who you are.

If you’ve read this far, thank you so much! and please don’t hesitate to drop me an ask if you have questions or comments or concerns. Have an awesome day :)

15 steps on making a sweet sweet powerpoint presentation*

*for class presentations and seminars, like at conferences or meetings. Lecture notes for teaching are different, though some of these may still apply:

Tell a story. A story always has 3 parts: a beginning, a middle, and an end. Create a compelling narrative so the audience feels invested in knowing what’s next. 

Know your audience, and adjust accordingly. Presenting to people with our same background (like students in our program) will differ from presenting to a broader audience like the general public, who may not care (or understand) nitty gritty detail. 

Use large readable font. Especially on graphs and figures, and..

Limit text. A busy intimidating slide = a distracted/zoned out audience

Refrain from using pastel colors with a white background, or dark colors with a dark background. Projectors =/= your computer screen, and these colors may not have the same contrast during a presentation. 

Also related, be considerate of the color-blind/visually impaired. Make figures accessible to them by not just relying on color but also patterns, shading, symbols, etc.

Show only what’s necessary. Try not to overwhelm an audience who’s seeing all this for the first time. Always remember: presentations are not data dumps; they’re stories. Simplify figures by remaking them if possible, or block out unimportant areas. 

And walk the audience through complicated slides. We should never assume everyone in the audience knows exactly what we’re talking about. Use animations to show only one point or figure at a time if necessary.

Speaking of figures, use high-quality ones! None of the deep fried-jpegs please. 

Also refrain from putting things that have no meaning. Examples include gratuitous eye candy (which are only acceptable in title and closing slides) or points that won’t be talked about. They’re just distracting.

Show interest when speaking. If the speaker sounds bored talking about their work, then I assume it’s boring and not worth my attention.

Refrain from going wild with that laser pointer. It’s there to bring attention to certain key points, not to continuously circle around the entire slide like we’re playing with cats. (If your hand holding the pointer is shaking, it helps to grab your wrist with your other free hand, or rest that arm on something (like the podium) to “root” it.)

Refrain from going wild with the animations/transitions also. Super cool in 4th grade; slightly nauseating at a national meeting. A simple “appear” animation will do just fine. 

Rehearse rehearse rehearse. Being well-prepared can combat stage-fright, as it takes away the anxiety of “not knowing what to do next” or “mental freezes”. You may also find yourself editing a few things as you rehearse, because something that seemed ok while making the ppt may not flow so well when you actually get to talking about it. Also, pay attention to the usage of filler words (like “um”, “sorta”), and body language: are you leaning on the podium too much? pacing a lot? looking at the screen and not the audience? 

Adopt a “power pose” to instantly feel more confident and relaxed. Stand up straight, chest out, shoulders back, uncross those arms, and smile. Hold yourself up like royalty, baby! Here’s a TedTalk on power poses. 

we love neck….we love chest… [cr. 1/2]

50 Things To Do For a More Productive Summer

1. Find some work experience  2. Head to the theatre and indulge in a good ol’ play or, even a musical 3. Plan a local trip or a day in the city and soak up all the culture 4. Volunteer your time once a week to a charity/ shelter 5. See if you can get work as a summer temp 6. Deepen your faith 7. Meet up with family and friends that you haven’t seen for ages, take loads of pictures and have an AWESOME time (how about camping in the New Forest? Or in your back garden? Barbecues or a simple trip to the ice rink) 8. Try curing one of your fears 9. Do a movie marathon 10. Develop or find a new hobby 11. Attempt to create a business with your own innovative idea 12. Do a charity challenge 13. Start taking driving lessons 14. Learn a language 15. Give your room a revamp — how about jars filled with multicoloured or fresh pinecones? A fresh coat of paint? A cluster of assorted candles? 16. Begin your #100daysofhappiness 17. Soak up the sun with a load of picnics, beach trips and outdoor games with your friends 18. Have a wardrobe clear out and donate all the clothes to a local charity shop 19. Pick an actor and watch all the films they’ve been in 20. Start a blog! 21. Get baking and come up with some new creations 22. Make a list of all your skills and everything they’ve taught you 23. Become a dog walker for a neighbour 24. Start saving for something worthwhile … 25. … or blow all your money on some concert tickets (you only live once) 26. Designate a whole day to go without a TV, laptop/ computer, internet, music, phone and any other electric devices 27. Begin writing a novel 28. Make proper lemonade and sip reading your favourite book under a tree 29. Go out for a day with nothing but the things that you can fit in your trouser or cardigan pockets or carry in your hands … OR … with as little as possible 30. Read an entire series of books or pick up some classics and get through them 31. Host a tea party with your friends 32. Make an exercise routine and stick to it (for a month, at least) 33. Watch an entire box set 34. Get rid of your anxiety by writing your worries down on a piece of paper, folding it into a bottle and sending it out to sea 35. Make a scrapbook of your favourite memories 36. Get hooked on a new genre of music or a new artist that hardly anyone has ever heard of 37. Head out to the selection of free festivals and carnivals available throughout the country 38. Make a birthday cake for one of your friends or a member of your family 39. Get active 40. Buy dinner for a homeless person 41. Get your body to your ideal size/ weight 42. Set yourself a budget and see how far you can get on public transport with it 43. Read a collection of children’s books 44. Go to a book signing, find someone famous or attend a celebrity event to get a glimpse of the stars 45. Plan and execute a 3 course meal for yourself or your family 46. Spend a day being a child again 47. Start a diary 48. Spend a day detoxing your body – drinking green tea, eat plenty of fruit and veg, guzzling water and meditating 49. Re-work the way you view yourself 50. Write your bucket list

students as months of the year

january: fresh journals, black and white notes, bullet journals filled with motivational quotes, cold brew coffee, loves writing letters, finishes everything on time, a daydreamer, seems laid back but really they’re stressed about everything

february: doodles in the margins of notes, the person who lends you their pens, sloppy handwriting, loves motivational speeches and classical music, finishes easy assignments early but writes their essay the night before its due,

march: straight A’s, study playlists, the teachers favorite, color coded notes, everyone thinks they’re naturally smart (but really they’re spending every night studying), forgets to eat sometimes, hasn’t slept for what feels like years

april: open windows, listening to the rain and thunder, tea pots full of earl grey, a functionally messy desk, fairy lights, always losing their pens, a huge nerd, afraid to raise their hand in class in case their answer is wrong

may: cramming for tests, lives in the library, highlighters and sticky notes everywhere, drinks espresso, would definitely consider bringing their coffee pot to school, messy desk, if an assignment is due at 9:00 they’ll submit it at 8:59

june: late nights, smoothies for breakfast, hanging out with friends, takes notes on their laptop, minimalist, organized, says they’re studying but they’re actually on studyblr, tries to study everything at once and gets distracted

july: staying up late to read, learning new languages, focuses on the learning and not the grade, watches documentaries for fun, loves the classics, owns a thousand pens, takes studyspo pictures, hundreds of unread emails,

august: stationery shopping, getting ahead in class, iced drinks, spending weekends with friends, takes very little notes but does well in class anyways, a relaxed personality, healthy snacks, the master of self care

september: a morning person, new pens and folders, a perfectionist, audio records classes and re-writes notes, over works themselves, loves the smell of new books, competitive, “i’m gonna fail!” but ends up getting A’s and B’s

october: chai lattes in travel mugs, will study for three days straight and then not study for a week, snacking in class, uses washi tape and stickers, sleeps for eight hours but is tired anyways, terrible at accepting compliments

november: gratitude journals, mental health days, the baristas at their local cafe know their name because they’re always studying there, study groups, loves to travel but never travels, cinnamon in their drinks, trouble sleeping, sweet smiles

december: hot chocolate, wrapped in a fluffy blanket, says they don’t care about grades but panics when they get less than a B, to-do lists, tutors their friends, watches movies in their free time, vanilla candles