Just Overheard Some Guy Ask The Teacher What 'respectively' Means.

This is immensely funny to me

if you need a pat on the head right now I got u covered

*pat pat*

A concerning new study released Monday by the Federal Bureau of Prisons found that the nation’s poverty is growing faster than officials can build prisons. “The data shows that the number of people becoming destitute is currently outstripping our ability to set up new correctional facilities to imprison them,” said agency director Colette Peters, adding that unnecessary red tape, stringent regulations, and irksome health and safety standards are preventing the government from building more cells at the 11.5% growth rate necessary to match the rising number of people who need all their rights taken away.

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is anyone else also doing ultimately fine + dying of stress + it’s not that bad + if i don’t wake up tomorrow hotter and better at every hobby its fucking over for me

Please remember that almost everyone around you is traumatized. I didn’t understand this when I was younger. I wondered why people acted so strangely and irrationally. Maybe all children wonder this. The author Robert Anton Wilson said (paraphrasing), “We have never seen a completely sane adult human.” No one makes it out of this life alive. It’s not their fault. Mercy, kindness, forgiving — these are what makes one human. They are other names for love. People break in the strangest of ways.

the student said, "i'm reading a zen buddhist cookbook. with no recipes." and the teacher replied, "ah, dogen's instructions for the cook, written in 1237?" "yeah," said the student, "it's saying not to let rats fall into the rice pot"

The english language is so confusing that sometimes I'm tempted to go to the french side of the internet, settle down over there, and every time someone starts telling me shit about how bad my french is, I can let them know that the only reason I'm not fluent in french like I'm fluent in english is because the english won the colonialism. I would be a fluent francophone if it weren't for the french being the second best in their own game.

this goes hard af

sisyphus doesn’t need everyone imagining him happy. imagine me. what about me?