Tumblr, Buddy, Listen To Me. This Is An Unprecedented Opportunity. You Can Snap Up All Of The Pie Here,

𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐒

part two of anonymous bidder

› featuring: med student!shuntaro chishiya + fem!reader

› word count: 2,674 words

› synopsis: it had been three years since you last seen shuntaro chishiya after graduation. suddenly, a fateful interaction brings you two back together. the question is: will you forgive him?

› rating: nsfw, +18

› cw: vulgar language, explicit content, sex on camera, angst, brief rough sex scene

› setting: after college au where reader is interning as a biotechnologist in a hospital and chishiya is a medical student doing clinical rotations

⤷ chai's note: hey y'all! i really appreciate all the love i received on anonymous bidder so i decided to enlogate it into four to five parts. i know this is a bit short (and extremely less smutty) but i hope you still enjoy it! (also dw pt 3 is gna be way more explicit) i haven't been able to write much because i've been away at medic training for the army (long story) but i wanted to get part two to you guys asap. if you want to be added to the tag list, let me know! anyone who's in my tag list will be tagged in all of my future writings so if you'd rather be tagged in only anonymous bidder update, please lmk! i love you all so much! thank you for allowing me to create beautiful pieces for you guys. i appreciate everything. much love, chai !!

⤷tags: @poetrieshouse @tungstenorc @mackjestic @seraphvm @naegisimp @fishisahappydog @parkersmyth @huachengsbestie01 @chlooooop @bxcndd @kowzs @sleepysnk @luuminou ily guys sm for supporting my writing, you have no idea how much i appreciate it 🫶🏻

your fingers flipped the pages of your notes while your eyes scanned over the material. “let’s see… test subject a responded to chemicals a and e very well. that’s a good sign.” you whispered to yourself, highlighting the text with your pink pen. “but chemical b and c did not react well. that could be detrimental when putting it into certain med-”

“y/n? is that… is that you?” a somewhat familiar voice questioned from the breakroom door you didn’t even realize opened. your eyes widened as you turned to face chishiya shuntaro, cheeks going pale and mouth propping itself somewhat open.

“y/n? is that… is that you?” a somewhat familiar voice questioned from the breakroom door you didn’t even realize opened. your eyes widened as you turned to face chishiya shuntaro, cheeks going pale and mouth propping itself somewhat open.

“chishiya?” you said out of shock more than actually questioning it. you never thought you’d see him again after college graduation, thinking he’d go to some hot shot hospital for his medical rotations. instead, he was still in shibuya. the hospital was nice, sure, but there were better options for the school’s valedictorian.

“how’ve you been? it’s been, what, almost three years?” chishiya asked with a chortle at the end, crossing his arms against his chest and leaning against the countertop with his hip. he looked nearly the same as he did when you’d seen him last. his silky blonde strands were still touching his shoulders. the brown eyes that had a habit of scanning everyone in the room were glistening with judgement. his frame looked bigger, as if he’d been working out in his free time. yet, something was off. he wasn’t the same chishiya. his presence seemed softer, as if he was less intense. could it be working with patients made him more susceptible to empathy and sympathy?

“i’ve been good!” your voice sounded excited and somewhat exasperated, as if you were holding a breath before speaking. “i started an internship here under the lead researcher for the hospital so work has been… draining?” you questioned, not sure if that was the right word to use. “but i really like it here! everyone is so nice and welcoming, surprisingly. i thought biotechnologists were snarky assholes.” the last sentence was whispered with a laugh. chishiya stared at you intently, causing the smile that creeped on your lips to fade. “is… is something wrong, chishi-”

“you just look as beautiful as the last time i saw you.” chishiya cut you off. the words were simple, but everything in your brain scattered as if the things he’d said were a complex math problem. you gulped, feeling a familiar crimson rush to your face. the room seemed about ten degrees hotter, causing your breathing to increase ever so slightly with your heart rate. his face was plain, but it felt like he was staring straight into your soul.

“i-” you tried to speak after a few moments of silence to kill the awkwardness. it was to no avail when the words decided to get stuck in your throat. you brushed the strands of hair coming out of your ponytail behind your ear out of embarrassment. “thanks…” your voice was so soft that he almost didn’t hear you. chishiya let out a small laugh, shaking his head. the almost-silver strands fell to cover his face, but you could still see his smile. he was definitely a softer version of the chishiya shuntaro you knew in college.

“you don’t have to be embarrassed, y/n. it’s just a compliment. relax.” you let out an exhale you didn’t realize was trapped in your lungs at the end of his statement. an awkward laugh escaped your mouth as you turned back to your notes, pretending to focus on them instead of letting memories of the past seep in. “anyways, we should go out for lunch today. you down?” he asked. it didn't seem malicious, but you couldn’t help but think that he wanted something else.

your body was pinned under his, hands wrapped around your wrists as you screamed out of pleasure into the pillow. your back kept arching into him with each stroke of his thick cock. “you love that, don’t ya? fucking whore…” the last two words were mumbled under his breath as he continuously kissed your g-spot with the tip of his member. chishiya uncuffed a hand from your wrists and went to the locks of hair by the nape of your neck, pulling your head backwards to where his lips were pressed against your ear. “i wanna hear you scream my fucking name. show them how much you want me, pretty girl.” he relentlessly pounded into your cunt as you moaned loud enough for the camera to pick up. “show them you’re mine.”

it had been two weeks since the library incident, and you were absolutely needy for chishiya shuntaro. your pussy ached every time you seen his face around campus, as if it was made for him. your avoidance didn’t help, but instead made everything worse; especially since you watched him every time he livestreamed as k1ng0fd1am0nds. eventually, he cornered you in the dorms the same way he did in the library. one thing led to another until you were yet again underneath the beautiful man that was chishiya.

‘friends with benefits’ was what he’d call the situationship that lasted up to graduation. it was a wonderful experience, to say the least. chishiya was a very selfless person in bed and always made sure you got off multiple times before he did. you even gave in to his requests to perform with him on his cam streams. it was an anxiety inducing situation, considering nearly the whole school found out. it was the talk of the town for an entire two weeks, with some teachers even giving you a side eye. by the time everything went back to normal, graduation was nearing closer and you could see the finish line.

being done with chishiya was bittersweet. on one hand, you could finally be free of his grasp and actually try to find a real relationship. on the other, you knew you’d miss him. he was genuinely a fun person to be around whenever you weren’t at school. chishiya knew how to crack a good joke. he would pay the tab no matter where you two went out to eat. he also did his best to calm your anxiety whenever you were studying; in some cases, giving you head or fingering you while asking questions and stopping whenever you got the answer wrong.

at the end of it all, he didn’t seem bothered. chishiya didn’t even say goodbye. his dorm was empty and cleared out before you could get the chance to wish him well in his future. for some reason, it made your heart ache. you thought about it for a month straight trying to figure out what you might’ve done wrong. he never answered your texts or calls. he disappeared.

“no.” you stated before closing your notes. chishiya scoffed in disbelief, and he must have thought you were joking with the smile that was still plastered on his face.

“oh, you’re serious.” chishiya’s mouth downturned into a frown as his eyebrows furrowed with confusion. “i don’t get it. it’s just lunch, y/n.” you almost felt bad. almost. you continued to pack your things into your satchel bag and put it over your shoulder. looking at him in the eyes hurt too much, so you focused on the wall above his head to make it seem like you were staring at him.

“chishiya, if you want to fuck someone, go find some other girl for your cam show. we ended things three years ago, let’s keep it that way.” the words flowed out of your mouth before you could stop them. you could tell they stung by the way chishiya was looking at you with skepticism. the emotional poison he’d given you three years ago was finally out of your body and returned the original snake.

“y/n-” chishiya started, but was soon cut off by your own voice.

“goodbye.” and with that, you left the breakroom with a slam of the door.

your heart was racing as you walked into work the next day, terrified that you’d be face to face with chishiya shuntaro again. you knew your words hurt, but you didn’t care. he hurt you. isn’t it fair?

guilt started to pour into your chest and made it feel heavier than usual. you did your best to shake it off on the way to the elevator, but it was to no avail. you wanted to apologize. you wanted to scream. you wanted to disappear, just like he did. all of these thoughts clouded your mind and you just wanted peace.

ding!

the doors to the elevators opened and hospital staff fled out as if they’d been in there for hours. you let out a deep breath, walking in after everyone cleared out and pressing the button for the lab. the doors shut quickly, leaving you alone with your thoughts. you clutched your satchel bag to your chest and rested your chin on the top. “i’m so fucking stupid…” you whispered to yourself while tears dared to well inside of your eyes.

ding!

the sound of the elevator brought you out of your thoughts and you leaned sideways on the elevator walls, facing a different direction than the entrance to hide the emotions that were slowly appearing on your face. “y/n?” chishiya’s voice felt like a burn to your ears. you closed your eyes and muttered a desperate ‘fuck’ under your breath. “are you okay?” his concerned voice was followed by the sound of the elevator creaking, causing you to look around with a somewhat panicked expression until the noise stopped and the elevator kept moving.

“yeah. yeah, i’m fine.” a sigh escaped your lungs as you leaned your head back onto the wall, ready to get this interaction over with.

“y/n, listen.” chishiya began, trying his best to speak before you could intervene. however, you weren’t about to let that happen.

“i don’t want to listen, chishiya.” you opened your eyes and positioned your head to where you could look him dead in the eyes. your gaze was nearly piercing his skull with every second you looked at him. “you disappeared, why can’t i disappear? why-” your voice became shakier with each word. you took an extensive inhale before letting it out and continuing. “why do i have to feel guilty for expressing my feelings in the breakroom yesterday? why do i want to apologize to you when you were the one who left me!” the tears that had left you returned at full force, dripping down your cheeks like a small waterfall in a forest.

the creaking noise of the elevator had gotten louder, but your frustrations drowned out every sound except the words coming out of your mouth. chishiya was staring sorrowfully at you, as if his own heart was breaking listening to you. his face was the least of your concerns as the elevator came to a halt. both of you grabbed onto the railings placed on either wall of the enclosed space, a thud bringing you both out of the current conversation. an automated voice rang through the elevator speakers, replacing the jingles that were playing prior to the sudden stop.

“please hold tight. assistance is on the way. do not panic.”

“jesus fucking christ.” you said with nothing but exhaustion and irritation. your head leaned against the wall again with a thump. this is not where you expected to be when you played the day’s events in your head this morning. “just my luck…” you mumbled, opening your eyes only to roll them.

“y/n, i didn’t want to do that.” chishiya started the conversation back up, walking closer to you in order to get you to look in his direction. you tried to back up, only flushing yourself further into the wall, as you stared him down. he stopped in his tracks. his body was clad in light blue scrubs and a white doctor’s coat. his hands came up and adjusted the lanyard and stethoscope around his neck out of what you presumed was anxiety. “do you want the honest answer, or do you want to keep going on hating me with no answer to why i disappeared?” chishiya quizzed, crossing his arms the same way he did when he was in college. his shoulder length hair was meticulously placed into a ponytail with only his bangs left out to frame his face.

you stared at him, waiting for him to continue talking instead of cooperating with a nod. chishiya inched closer, standing next to you against the wall so that you both were facing the elevator doors. he let out a profound sigh and began again. “i knew that i had feelings from you after the first time in the library, even before that, i knew.” he confessed, leaning his head against the wall as if to mimick you. your head turned to watch him as he spoke. “i didn’t want to accept it. i thought that i could keep you at a distance but everything kept telling me to go to you. i’d see you in the cafeteria and wave. you always avoided me, so i never even had the chance to tell you how i felt.” chishiya’s voice was lower now, almost as if he was embarrassed. “when i finally got you alone, we had sex. it was wonderful, don’t get me wrong.” he laughed to himself, causing you to chortle. the sentence almost made you blush, but it felt so natural to hear him talk like this. “anyways, i didn’t think that it would be the best impression if i asked you out after that. even when we were friends with benefits,” chishiya put air quotes around friends with benefits, making you stifle a laugh. “i didn’t want to ask you out. why?” he shook his head, strands of his bangs moving with him. “i have no idea. it would’ve been perfect. but part of me didn’t feel good enough. you deserved better. a clean slate of a relationship where it starts out as a relationship, not a fuck in the library. so i left.”

the end of his explanation came far too soon. you sat in silence, staring at his face that was focused on the elevator flooring. you wanted to feel guilty, but you didn’t. you had no reason to apologize since your feelings were valid and justified in this situation. his explanation was not an excuse. but… “i forgive you.”

the words were like an alarm to his ears, making him perk his head up and look at you. chishiya’s expression was that of a puppy you just asked to go for a walk. “what?” he questioned as if the words didn’t register into his brain.

“i forgive you.” you stated calmly with a profound sigh. “i understand that it might’ve been hard to come to terms with your feelings, so you did what you knew how to do. you closed yourself off and left. so, i forgive you.”

you both stood in the elevator for what seemed like an eternity of silence. the only sound present was a drowned out beeping noise from the elevator’s alarm system. it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, nor was it awkward. you couldn’t help but feel as if you both were healing from the past wounds with each other's presence.

“so, y/n...” chishiya said with a cracked voice before clearing his throat. it made you chuckle, as an unconfident chishiya wasn’t exactly usual. “would you like to go on a date with me?” his eyes veered over to yours and you retained the smile from your previous chuckle, nodding your head slowly.

“yeah, chishiya. i would.”

Watch "I Will Start an Only Fans..." on YouTube

You bitches better WORK

Hi, can you please write for aomine something like his gf isn't the out-going type of gal and he always tries to do a shit ton of touchy stuff so he can get her flustered and always tries to make her horny af, like he loves that shes like another person with him and the rest of the world lol, I HOPE THIS MAKESSS SENSEEE!!!!!! and I reallllyyyyy love your writing likeeeee ufffff honey (iT GETS ME IN THE MOODS SET IF YOU GET ME 😉) BUT lol ima stop being creepy now

Tags: fingering, sweet dirty talk, use of bunny,

a/n: Yes it makes sense bby! And thank you so much!!

-

“Baby” he teased, watching you do your best to hide the heat growing in your face after he smothered you in kisses, not caring about the fact that you two weren’t alone a few minutes ago. “Come here”.

HIs arm wrapping around shoulder snapped your eyes towards his. "you ok bunny?" he asked, waiting for you to squirm again, loving how worked up he could get you just from a name.

Your shy face let out a slight grin, completely wrapped around his finger, "i-i um..... feel, good," you muttered out, hiding your face under the covers as he sat beside you, trying his best not to just eat you up. "You feel good bunny?" He grabbed you into his arms lowering you onto his lap.

You moaned at the feeling of his touch, being so sensitive as he knew, knowing how easy it was to get you to fall apart. All he had to do was whisper in your ear and you'd tremble in his grasp, your pretty little eyes watering as he kissed your neck, clinging onto him so tight, so precious.

You were pulled back onto his chest as you felt his big  hands wandering all over your body, slowly and gently, wanting to take his time and drag every sound and expression out of you. "You're so pretty, my little bunny." He whispered into your ear, his hot breath making you twitch, just how he liked it.

“You get like this just for me bunny, huh?" he smirked, trying to hold back his fat smile as you melted into his arms.

You closed your eyes feeling his gaze on you, his fingers sliding your clothes off while kissing the top of your head, so tiny under him. He pulled you by your neck, firmly grabbing it as you didnt respond, knowing that you were his good girl and he expected you to act like one.

You whimpered, "Y-yeah… just for you," as you sighed in relief as he let go, his fingers loosening their grip, moving there way to your panties as he smirked again. "There's my good girl.” he cooed. You're gonna be a good bunny for me right?"

He pushed his lips on the side of your jaw, bending down enough to reach you, leaving wet sloppy kisses behind your ear as your eyes started watering from the pleasure. You let out a little moaned “yeah” again while his finger was tracing circles onto your clothed clit. 

His other hand moved up from your tummy to under your shirt grabbing your soft tits while pinching your nipples, knowing that you got weak when he touched them. "A-ah minnie!" You whined leaning back onto his chest as your panties were see though now. His hands get rougher with every second, grabbing onto you tits while rubbing harsher and harsher as you couldn't help but grind onto his cock, nothing felt sweeter than when his name left your sweet lips.

His cock got even harder from your ass moving onto it squirming around in his lap. He locked your thighs in place with the arm he was using to play with your soaked cunny. Whimpers left your mouth as you kept grinding your hips as much as you could, not even caring to try to hold back the noises coming between your lips.

"Fuck  bunny, stay still" his deep voice grunted into your neck, watching your his fingers get drenched in you slick. "minnie l-lemme, -ah p-please c-cum? Daddy plea-" Your hot cunt sucking his fingers as his thumb was abusing your poor clit, feeling so overwhelmed by his affection, while he brought you closer to the edge.

"you gonna cum bunny? Cum round my fingers stretching out that little pussy of yours?" Your soft moans, drowned out the lewd sounds of your wetness getting slapped against you cunt. “N-no i want…”

“Hmm bunny,  what do you want? Gotta speak up or daddy can't hear you.”

“I -ah, want, your… cock, please” you sobbed, tears running down your face, eyes red and swollen as ever, and he thinks you're the prettiest hes ever seen you, looking like a beautiful mess while begging for him to fuck you

He quickly took off his boxers, already lining up with your needy dripping cunt  as you cried even more, clinging onto him as his chest was against you back. Pussy so wet and inviting, sucking him in. “Thats a good girl, all you had to do was ask”

Hii, can I request an angst filled fic with billy please? I’m thinking he doesn’t die when him and eleven are fighting the mind flayer and y/n is part of the gang and helps fight the mind flayer. But when everything is getting back to normal Billy is having a lot of nightmares and calls you for comfort even tho he’s so hard headed he doesn’t actually admit the reason but you know..

Billy then realises you knew all along he was suffering and he’s shocked with the amount of love you’ve shown him and he wants to be with you but as he goes to admit his feelings to you he comes across you and Steve Harrington out on a date and it kills him..

That night he makes a plan to make you his and when you come home billy is tapping your window asking to sneak in.. I’ll leave it up to you how you end the fic but just a silly idea I had lol and I’d love to see how you write this :)

a/n: This took longer than I meant for it to because I ended up writing way more than I initially meant to so, here you go! (This was so fun tysm bbys) also I wrote with fem reader cause it's what I do by default eee....

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader (female pronouns)

Length: 6.4k (yeesh)

Warnings: Billy is struggling, mental illness, thoughts of death/dying, Billy curses ofc. OOC Billy a little ooc maybe, mentions of abusive parents

My Girl - B.H.

Sleep was meant to be the escape from reality. It was the escape from all the bad things around you, all the bad thoughts and memories that demanded to be heard and seen. A moment in time where there was nothing, your brain was empty, or it felt that way, and you were free.

But people like Billy Hargrove weren't so lucky.

Whenever you sleep, people say you always dream, it's just a matter of whether or not you remember the dream when you wake up. Most of the time, dreams are forgotten the moment you open your eyes.

But people like Billy Hargrove remembered them when he opened his eyes.

Half the time, they were the reason his eyes had opened. They were less dreams, more memories, of that thing. The Mind Flayer. But they always ended differently than how it had really ended.

His corpse, on the ground in the mall, you leaning over him. Begging. Max, crying.

Or maybe it becomes your corpse instead of his. Or Max. Those ones are the worst. The ones where you or she die protecting him, or in his place. Because if anyone had to die that night, it had to be him. It should be him. 

Sometimes, in the darkest parts of his brain, the deepest corners he tried to ignore, he truly thought it might have been better if he died. Not just for everyone around him but maybe for himself.

It was hard. Some days were agony, while others weren't. Some days things felt so slow, and unreal, especially the first few weeks after the incident. He had grown a special distaste for hospitals for all the time he had spent in one.

Phantom pains would wrack his body some days, and nights. Some days it hurt so bad, especially his chest where the gnarly scarring lay, that he couldn't do much of anything. Days where his only reprieve lay in a bed that would let him fall asleep for minutes before it woke him up again with harsh reminders of everything. Tonight was one of those nights.

A  night where he woke up covered in a cold sweat, quite literally soaked through the clothes he wore to bed into the sheets; pale and rattled as he sits upheaving- it mixes with the sharpest pain in his chest that he has come to expect but it doesn't matter how much he expects it, it still knocks the wind out of him. 

For a brief moment, he feels like he's going to throw up what he had for dinner that night. But he doesn't. Instead, his eyes close as he tries to breathe properly again; the erraticness of his heartbeat and his uneven breathing only make his body ache. Phantom pains. Like he's there again like he's watching through his own eyes as he takes someone else to be a puppet to it- screaming inside because he may be an asshole but he does not want to do this. The only thing his body can do on his own accord in those moments is cry; it must've been a sight to see. A newly 18-year-old boy, with tears in his eyes as he does horrific things for something else. 

Usually, it works. Usually, closing his eyes and just trying to breathe works; kind of. Billy can eventually find his bearings again and lay back down- maybe not to fall asleep again immediately, but just to lay there. Granted, he's not good at coping. He never was good at coping, and any mechanism he ever had has been dangerous or stupid. 

Yet tonight it won't work. When his eyes open again, it's still like he's in that moment. It's still like those tendrils are digging into his sides, into his chest, and like he's hearing himself scream as whatever that thing is tries to take one more soul before it too fades away. If he looks down at his chest, he is almost sure that he'll see the gaping wound again. 

He needs to talk to you. That's all he knows in those moments as he peels himself from his sweat soaked bed; he has to change the sheets and take a shower. Who knew a person could sweat that much? 

Billy had never been so glad before that he had a phone in his room; sometimes he wondered how the fuck he got away with that with his father. Before everything happened, it was something only Billy used in the house, everyone else used the phone in the living room, but nowadays, when Max really wanted to quickly call someone, she would use it too. Anything really to avoid Neil, and Susan at times too; Max said once that complacency could be just as bad as actually committing the act. That still stuck in his mind. 

Sitting on the edge of his bed beside his bedside table, the mint-colored phone in his hands, his body cries but he doesn't listen to it. Had he realized the time, Billy may've had second thoughts, not that he cared really what time it was, but you were most likely asleep and anyone in this house could've answered.

After two rings, Billy sighed preparing to just put the phone back on the base and do something. Anything, to calm down. Maybe go out for a drive- but you'd kill him for that one, it was dangerous when he felt like this especially considering when he felt fine he still drove like a mad man. The cold shower sounds nice but at the same time it doesn't; it scares him because he liked it cold. He loved it cold. And Billy never wants to feel that cold again. 

"Hello?" you sound tired, you swallow, throat dry. 

Billy doesn't say anything at first. What was he doing? It was the middle of the night, and he needed something to ground him again, to remind him he was here. He needed you; somehow it always came back to you, the comfort he needed. 

You had just been some girl that watched those stupid bratty kids, one of them being his sister. Someone who had been friendly with them since before Max and himself came to Hawkins. Someone, who in school, offered to show him around if he wanted. Someone that spoke to him as a person first rather than a nuisance or a piece of meat to snatch up. You became so heavily intertwined with him via school, his sister, her friends, and the Upside Down. He wouldn't admit it genuinely, but he was a bit disappointed that you got a job at JC Penny in Starcourt over the other position for lifeguard you had mentioned you might go for to him. 

He fucking hated Hawkins when he arrived the previous year. But maybe it wasn't as bad as he thought if you were in it.

"Hello...?" your voice alone made his muscles loosen, if only by a fraction. But now there was a new pressure in his chest, a tightness in his limbs not related to the dreams and memories or the aches and pains- it was related to you and he's not used to it. 

Billy hears you breathe out, preparing to hang the phone up, and he reminds himself; he is Billy fucking Hargrove, not a sissy baby who can't talk to girls. Right?

But you were different. 

"It's Billy."

He feels silly in that moment and his own name on his lips for some reason doesn't even sound like his name to himself. He was used to being so in the moment with his decisions; live now because it doesn't matter what you do, he won't ever like it- and rarely did he ever regret those decisions truly, but every other emotion in his body was working overtime. 

"Oh," your voice seems to perk up but takes on an edge; worry? He can't tell. He still isn't used to the emotion of worry being directed toward him, "What's wrong, is something the matter?"

It's then the words get stuck in his throat. All of the "yes, I can't forget tonight"s and the "I think maybe I should have died that day"s are lodged in the back of his throat. Billy Hargrove is stubborn; there's no chance in hell he is going to tell you the truth. No way he is going to let others really know. Though, he is pretty sure Max kind of knows- she was a lot more observant than he realized till now. 

Sometimes, Billy Hargrove is akin to a caged animal.

He is so used to people not caring. He is used to being hit for the small things and the big things; like the time he got a D on his history essay, or the time Max went missing. That is what he is used to. Telling the truth about how he feels is not in his vocabulary, and he isn't sure how to respond when someone opens the cage that he has been confined to for so long; scared that if he steps out, it is the wrong choice, and that choice means punishment. He doesn't trust, but he wants to. He doesn't want to seem weak, but sometimes, he truly is. 

"No," he scoffs into the phone as if he wasn't the one who called so late, but you were, "It's nothing, I just..."

Just what? He can't find an excuse. He can't understand himself.

You're wide awake on your end now. If he could see you, he would've seen the way your face softened, eyes half-closing as your brows dipped in sad understanding. He doesn't need to speak for you to know. He is good at hiding, that you figured out, but not good enough because you can hear it in his voice, the way he speaks as he might just start either screaming or crying at the drop of a pen. The way his voice softens immediately after he says no, down to a low whisper, like he is trying to just disappear. The rattle in his breathing that he doesn't even realize himself like he still can't catch his breath properly.  

He is hurting. He is scared. You know he is. Nightmares aren't uncommon to you, but you're sure the ones he gets must be even worse than the ones you do, and they must be almost constant. If you were there, you would've wrapped his larger frame into your smaller one and tried to comfort him, but you were miles away in your room. 

"It's okay," you finally respond after he loses his voice, his brows furrow, "I mean... It isn't okay, how could it be, after everything?"

Billy doesn't respond, only holds the receiver tighter in his hand, almost thinking it might break. 

"I just mean that it's okay to talk about it," you continue after his silence, "you don't need to talk about it at all if you don't want to Billy. But I want to listen if you ever do, and I think Max would too."

You hear a small snort. Billy isn't so sure Max would want to listen. Maybe she would, their relationship had been doing leaps and bounds better than before. Billy never hated his step-sister; in his own twisted ways he loved her, but he hated that it was her mother's marriage to his father that took him away from California- one of the last things in his life Billy could say he truly loved at the time. He's horrible with his words still when it comes to talking to Max or most anyone about anything that troubles him, or saying sorry (which he has- it's just been very awkward and he just can't seem to get it right, not the way he wants to) and he just wishes he could explain why. Why he is how he is, or how he was- still kind of is- someone like him isn't so easy to break and mold, especially with his father still in his life. But he wants to try. He is trying. 

"She would," you insist, "I know it's tough between you two still sometimes, and you're both trying to navigate the relationship you both want, but she cares. Like you do. It's just hard for both of you."

Billy thinks about what you're saying in silence again. His actions define him, and they continue to do so every day. Saving the kids and you, and Steve, Nancy- the whole gaggle of people- that night has defined him as well, but it is muddied behind his other actions, ones he had taken out of anger or fear. The time he almost ran over Max's friends comes to mind; he wasn't ever going to do it, but that is their first memory of him. How he treated Max as a whole; the only times he was (almost) not under his father's foot. Or the time he threatened Lucas Sinclair; as much as he didn't want to admit it, it was as much for Max as it was for himself- or so he believed it was. 

He saw her upset- and as her older step-brother (albeit an unwilling one) he didn't like that. But even more than that, his mind immediately went to his father. Neil Hargrove wasn't a good man, never had been, never would be. Good at acting like a nice guy; it was how he scored Susan, and he assumed his mother too initially. If someone hurt Max, if Max was upset by someone at school, and Neil saw, or Susan, who would inevitably tell Neil, it would be his fault. 

Max fell into his lap, his father would reign hell on him for anything bad in any way that happened to Max because of the fact she was Susan's daughter. He didn't hit Max, but he'd hit Billy because of Max, maybe even in place of her at times, he didn't know. He was glad he never actually touched her, however. Not to mention his father was racist. Lucas Sinclair being near Max, and his father finding out? It would somehow come back down to Billy. And maybe even Max wouldn't be spared from his anger.

There was a bitter part of him towards his sister sometimes too in that aspect even if it wasn't her fault that his father chose to use Max as more cannon fodder to hurt him. But she never really took that into account when she did things like running out the window, leaving him to pick up the pieces. He always picked up those pieces. 

The conversation between the two of you was one-sided at this point, not that you minded, nor did he because he still didn't know what he was supposed to be saying.

"I know things are hard right now. I know it has to be hurting a lot still, and I can't even tell you when or if that hurt will ever stop. Maybe it won't, maybe it will just dull with time but always be there, or maybe one day it will just be a distant memory. I don't know. But you do have people who care, Billy, I care. Try to sleep, if you can. I'll be just a phone call away anyways if you need someone to talk to. Or to talk your ear off; I hear I'm pretty good at that." 

That elicits a single hoarse chuckle from his chapped lips. He told you that once. He licks them as he takes in a breath. 

"Yeah... G'night." 

"Goodnight Billy." 

Even after he hears the click of you hanging up, he still holds the phone to his ear. He notes that his breathing has evened out considerably and that his muscles are looser than before. His chest still aches slightly with the phantom pain, but it doesn't feel like he is there with that thing in his body again anymore. He's actually sort of cold from the way the cold sweat he had woken up in soaks his sleep clothes; he knows he's taking a hot shower before he lays back down. 

It's in those moments, between him finally letting the phone sit back down onto the receiver, and getting ready to move to the bathroom to shower, that he realizes. He realizes you knew all along; well, clearly you did, because you knew what to say exactly when he didn't even say it himself. You noticed he was suffering, and likely always had. When it came to you, Billy Hargrove was naked even when he was fully dressed- you saw through him. 

And he didn't hate it like he thought he would. 

You were something special. Someone who had made him feel... Loved. 

He was almost sure that if you hadn't been there if you hadn't cared for him as you had even when he was a complete and utter piece of crap, then he would actually have died in that mall. He just needed someone to try for him, and always believe in him even when that monster was using his body as its little puppet, and that was you. 

Billy Hargrove couldn't imagine a future that didn't have you in it. And he had to do something about that. 

_____

It had been a week since Billy had called you in the middle of the night. He'd seen you a few times since, mainly when he was dropping Max off to the Arcade which you happened to work out; the kids were once again subject to the arcade in town and the little shops around there now that Starcourt had been 'destroyed by a fire.' 

But those were only small moments, moments where you had a minute to say hello and ask what he was doing that day, and then you were off again and so was he. But he knew what he wanted, and what he wanted was you. All he needed to do was admit it to you. So, on a day he knew you wouldn't be working, he took his beloved Camaro and started the drive to your home.

Billy didn't worry about if your parents answered the door or not, because he was good at charming people. He was good at making good impressions when he wanted to, it was how he got Mrs. Wheeler to bend like putty. But he wouldn't be flirting with your mom. 

The way to your home took him through part of town, the part that had the silly little movie theatre that paled in comparison to the one Starcourt had, or even any of the ones he had been to in California. But that was the price you pay for a small town, an interdimensional being, and the Russians in the only big mall Hawkins had had. 

Maybe if things went well, he'd take you to that small theatre and-

The stop light turned red, forcing Billy to stop his Camaro right beside the theatre. It wasn't a problem, or it wouldn't have been, if he didn't see Steve Harrington walk out of the stupid little theatre with you by his side, smiling and talking animatedly. 

You weren't his. So he had no right to feel how he did in that moment. To feel the blood pumping in his veins, in his ears, to feel it boil like hot water on the stove. To feel the sudden nausea he'd feel when he woke up from a dream that was far, far too real. To feel jealous. The burning jealousy in the pit of his stomach gnarled together with the other feelings he felt, and the moment the red light turned green, he hit the gas not caring how over the speed limit he was going. He did that anyways, he liked to drive fast, but now it was for a whole other reason.

Tanned fingers held the steering wheel with newfound emotion; it hurt. He hated the hurt. He didn't want to go home, he didn't want to anywhere. So instead, he just drove off towards Lovers Lake and sat in his Camaro.

At first, he had his music blaring on the radio. Max always said that he would go deaf someday because of how loud he played his music. She also said that he was probably already going deaf whenever he didn't listen to her. It always earned Max a half glare and a look of annoyance and the title of shitbird.

But what people didn't really understand was that sometimes, when he played the music loud enough (especially in recent months) it would deafen out the rest of the world and even his own thoughts. It was in those moments, listening to his favourite songs on painfully loud volumes that he wasn't anyone, he was just a guy listening to music.

Not that he'd ever tell anyone that. It sounded deeper than it really needed to be, and he'd rather leave it at just being the bad boy who liked his music way too loud for his own good.

Eventually, the music would run its course. For hours, he listened to the same tapes of music he enjoyed. But now it was just loud and did nothing. Now, it was just loud background noise to the hurt and anger in his chest. In his head.

He really needed to learn how to cope better.

Billy had never been on good terms with Steve Harrington, and he was fairly certain if it had been anyone else with you, he wouldn't have been as upset as he was. He'd still be upset, sure, but something about Steve Harrington scratched at the sorest parts of his brain and triggered an annoyance unbridled.

At first, he wasn't even sure what it was about Steve that got on his nerves. But it was over time, and more recently (everything, he realized seemed to happen so much more recently) that he started to figure it out. It wasn't that he was a popular kid before and now he was quote en quote, nothing. It was jealousy.

Billy realized he felt jealous quite a bit it seemed.

Jealousy for the fact that even if he wasn't King of Hawkins anymore and that the title had been snatched by Billy, he seemed happy still. Jealousy over the fact that he had gotten away from people like Tommy and Carol. Sheep, followers, who never really cared about you as a person but only your popularity and what it had to offer.

Jealousy because he was angry. Angry in general, at the world, and the people in it, and Steve Harrington became the easier target for Billy's overflowing negative emotions that he couldn't find a place to put.

After Starcourt, after everything, the feelings simmered. But they still remained, it was hard for Billy to change his feelings. Especially seeing how people liked Steve and were friends with him for that. Not to mention, that night with Max disappearing, and then Steve lying about it and insinuating he was dumb even though he could see Max in the window? It still bugged him.

But seeing him with you had sparked the fire in his belly again. It was as if every feeling he had tried to quash towards the man had come back tenfold.

Steve Harrington was going to get you. He was going to have someone that Billy actually wanted. Someone that he didn't just look at with lust- one of the first people to ever show him care, and Steve was going to snatch that.

Progress be damned, being nice and not letting his anger or jealousy override him be damned as well- he had to tell you. He wanted you to be his. And if it didn't work out, well, he'd cross that road when he got there he supposed.

That's what he usually did.

___

The music in your room was on a low volume, not wanting to wake your family members in the other rooms. It was late, and you were finally winding down for the night.

It had been a long day, one that left your feet aching a bit, but it was a good pain. One that told you that you'd accomplished a lot during the day.

You fully intended to relax on your bed for a bit, reading a book and listening to the music on your small stereo, dressed in your comfortable pajamas. Maybe you'd grab a snack too, and-

The sound of something tapping on your window made you freeze. Immediate thoughts were full of sudden fear, almost like your body was preparing itself for the flight or fight response. It had become something your body did without much thought, solely because of the past events that haunted Hawkins that very select people knew about. It had been quiet for a few months now since Starcourt, but you had learned to never really truly trust Hawkins to be completely normal. 

Internally you knew that you were overreacting in the moment, so you reminded yourself it was fine; probably wind, or maybe a tree branch near your room hitting the windows. But it didn't hurt to check the window. You were glad to have done so because what you weren't expecting to see was Billy Hargrove at your window, looking at you with an unimpressed look in his eyes- waiting for you to open the window.

Which you did, quickly at that.

"What are you doing?!"  with the window open, Billy hauled himself up and into your room as you moved to the side, holding your arms out to help him in case he needed it; you doubted he did, you doubted he would want you to help him too much either. 

"You have a tall ass window," Billy groaned as he lifted himself into your room, booted feet meeting the wooden floor with a soft thud. 

"Cause it isn't meant to be climbed into!" 

Not wanting to wake anyone in your home, you hissed when you spoke, closing the window softly behind him. With him in your room, your immediate thought was to check him over, to check if he was hurt in some way, shape, or form that was visible to the naked eye. 

People knew. People knew now what went on with him at home, and it wasn't Max who told them, it was technically Eleven, when she looked into his memories, his mind. You had suspicions before; he was someone you cared about, your friend, and his father had never been someone Billy mentioned fondly. He wasn't even someone Billy would mention unless he had to. 

Bruises that hadn't been there before, or tired eyes that were past tired and held an emptiness that was much more telling than maybe he realized. Those were signs, those were things you looked for and always had whether he noticed or not. 

"Are you checking me out?" he suddenly asked, as your eyes finished a final sweep of his body. The smirk on his lips made your face heat up, and well, it did kind of look that way, didn't it? 

"What? No- I was just, well..." you couldn't exactly say it because you didn't know how he would feel about the fact you were looking at him, inspecting him, for any sign of his fathers abuse. It was a sore subject, it wasn't something he liked multiple people knowing. 

He rolled his eyes. He either knew, or your hesitance annoyed him. Sometimes it was hard to tell with Billy. 

"I don't blame you," he chose to continue the line of conversation, moving to examine your room. He'd been there before, in high school, when you both hadan asignment together. But he never really took it in; it was simple but suited you. 

"You're insufferable sometimes, you know that?" 

Billy still has the smirk on his face but doesn't respond. It's odd. For the time you have known him, Billy Hargrove has never been the type of man to stay quiet in these situations, never the guy to back down first in a game of sarcasm and witts- and never ever to back down from flirting with anyone he initiates it with. 

You're worried. And Billy sees it in your eyes; it's another reminder to him for why he is here. 

"Is something wrong?" you speak softly now, moving to turn the stereo volume down completely. It's still a bit jarring that he's in your room nearing the middle of the night, but you had let him in, and you had no reason to turn him away. Not with everything.

"Why would something be wrong?" he was bluffing- you weren't stupid. 

"It's almost the middle of the night," you point out, leaning forward on your bed to peer into his face, "and you came to my window." 

"Nothings wrong, jesus." 

Silence again. 

"Saw you while I was out today."

The way he spoke was suddenly a bit more serious, a bit cooler, a bit more fenced off.

"Oh? Why didn't you come over and say hey?"

"You were with Harrington."

Oh.

The way Billy said Steve's last name was like he was talking about a bug he had seen or like he had seen something that made him sick.

"I was headed to find you, and you were with that shithead."

You shot him a look, he sort of made it sound like whatever was wrong was your fault or your being with Steve when he went to find you was an offense towards him. He also didn't need to call Steve names, but that likely wasn't going to change, even with the two of them on more neutral terms.

"Is that the problem?" You probed, mild annoyance on your face, "that you wanted to see me but I was with Steve? You couldn't just... Talk to us both, but Steve was there?"

"Seriously?"

Billy knew he was struggling in that moment with what he came here for. He was still angry, upset. He still struggled with his words and he was surprised it hadn't been the death of him at this point.

"Well, yea? What's your issue with Steve still, Billy it doesn't-"

"That isn't the problem, Jesus christ! It isn't just that I wanted to go talk to you and you were out with him. The problem is that you go around and make me feel these stupid fucking feelings I don't know what to do with, and I see you on a fucking date with a guy like Harrington!"

Oh. Oh. 

There was something deeper about this, you knew from the start, but that wasn't the deep you thought it would be. Having Billy be at Steve's neck was something you expected. It was something you had grown accustomed to after everything, especially Starcourt. They could play nice with one another- well, as nice as they could. It was mainly Billy. 

"That-" you pause, frozen sort of, if what he was insinuating was true, the he... "A date, with Steve?"

"The theatre." 

He said it like you didn't know the word, and like he was losing patience. With you, or himself, you couldn't quite tell. Maybe both. You don't want to get angry with him because you know that will only escalate things further and if you antogonize him now, you may never get a proper answer or response out of him- and your family might just come barging in because of all the noise. 

"You don't have to say it," he suddenly throws his head back, looking at your ceiling before bringing his head back down, his blue eyes looking directly in yours, and he looks tired, "It's his stupid fucking hair isn't it? Or whatever the fuck there is about him, I don't know. I came here with a purpose, to tell you, to make you mine. My girl. But-"

He lets out a breathe, an angry one, a frustrated one, one that could blow down a not too sturdy house if given the chance.  

"What the fuck am I doing," he said it to himself mostly, but how could you not hear him, he was right there. 

"Billy..." you want to reach out for him, to help, to make things better, but he's already pulling himself away.

He's good at that, pulling himself away. 

"I gotta go, before my dad decides he wants to check if I'm in my room," he bitterly says, "crazy how he wants to seem like a parent sometimes; piece of shit." It had become quite apparent after Starcourt and Billy's almost death that his father was trying harder to put up appearances; he was still the same man, same abusive piece of shit, but now more people were aware. And that meant something.

Given everything, it was a shot in the dark for you to reach out and grab his wrist. Given his emotions, and the issues with his father, it really could have went one of two ways; he could've reacted badly like a caged animal, or he could've let it happen. 

Thankfully it was the latter. 

"No, don't," you spoke softly, a hint of pleading in your voice. His wrist is bigger than you realized as your fingers wrap around it; he has a watch on you note and his skin is warm, "Stay. We can talk about this, we should talk about it."

It stops him, you're surprised it does, but he looks at you, incredulous. To him, in that moment, there is nothing to talk about; he has likely made a fool of himself, his emotions always getting the better when he really needs them to stay down. His intention to make you his was gone the moment he came, because when he looks at you and thinks about it, about everything that has happened, he finds himself thinking- god forbid Steve Harrington finds out about this- that maybe he's the better choice.

Not because Steve Harrington is more attractive than him, or that Billy thinks he can't pull someone like you; he's always been fairly confident in himself on the outside. But things are different now. And there's something in him deeper that's more broken than it was before in some ways, he didn't think that was possible. Someone like you? You would only give him kindess, one that he's sure he'd somehow fuck up. He will ruin you like his dad ruined his mom. How can he be anything right now when his thoughts are plagued with a interdimensional being that should have killed him. 

He should be dead. 

"Y'see," he starts, already preparing to rip himself away, "I don't think there is. This was a shit idea." 

"I wasn't on a date with Steve!"

It's the only thing you can think to say in that moment to stop him from leaving, because you don't want him to leave. You don't want him to go back to his father right now, or sit in his car somewhere in the dark, alone with thoughts that he so desperately wants to hide but overtime it begins to crack because one can't stay hidden forever. Especially not with the trauma he was holding onto. 

It works, because he isn't moving anymore. Rigid like a board.

"I wasn't on a date with Steve," you repreat in a more calm and even voice now, dragging on his wrist to pull him away from a window, scared that he might just jump out of it anyway if you're not careful, "Steve, he... Sure, he asked me out before, I said no. That was forever ago, and I think he just wanted something to distract himself from Nancy, to feel like he moved on. But he's my friend still, and we were just going to see a movie. That's all that was. I don't like Steve that way."

The unspoken 'but I like you that way' is in the air but you haven't said it. For everything that happened between you and Billy, you're scared. You cared for him, more than some people thought you should. But you had never been one to let people's first interactions define them for the rest of their lives; it was a good thing you felt that way because if you hadn't then you could've very easily been like everyone else who saw him as Billy Hargrove: Asshole, King of the Keg and Hawkins, seriel flirter who was just bad. 

It's sudden, but his large hands are suddenly cupping the back of your neck and head. He's gentle, but there's a forcefullness within his touch that makes a tingle run down your spine. Forced to look into his eyes deeply, you see so much. Eyes that he liked to keep empty are full of emotion in front of you. 

"All I'm hearing," his voice is low, husky, something only you would be able to hear if there was anyone else in the room with you, "is that I have a chance." 

It's so like him. So like him to make it a little less serious than it is. It's definitely a mechanism to dodge the conversations that might just make him uncomfortable, the ones he isn't used to or maybe hasn't even had. And that's okay right now, you'll let him have that for now. 

"And that you jumped the gun," you offer back slyly, "it's kind of cute. You'll have to work on it though... And work on having some heart to hearts." 

It's a subtle confirmation that you want him. You want him too, like how he wants you. And if he was anyone but himself, it might've made him cry. But instead, it just makes his smirk grow; no, not a smirk, it's a smile. He's so beautiful when he smiles. You wonder if anyone has ever told him he's beautiful; you add it to your list of things to tell him at some point. He's beautiful. 

"Cute? You're killing me babe," he whines like he's a child, but you can see how giddy he secretly is inside and it only reaffirms what you said to yourself, "...I'll work on it."

"You deserve to be happy. And we can work on it, together."

Again. Its like you've read through him. Like you saw his thoughts and feelings on thinking maybe he should've died. Or feeling like he can't have this because he will just ruin it. There are no words he can scrounge up as his heart beats heavy in his chest. He can only put his forehead against yours.

It's silent for a few beats as he keeps his hands on the back of your neck, his head tilted down towards yours. It's odd to see him act that way, but it's not a bad odd. It's good. You want to see it more. 

"So... My girl?"

He sounds so cocky, it makes you roll your eyes.

"Your girl." 

AND ANOTHER THING.

WHY IN THE HEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL HAVE I READ ALL THE FLUFF/NON-NSFW FICS FOR MIDORIYA. WHY THE HELL ARE THEY ALL TIMESKIP OR SMUT JUST LIKE KIRISHIMAS….

LKE WHY CANT READER AND IZUKU IDK SLOWLY FALL IN LOVE OR TRAIN TOGETHER BEFORE THE FIRST WAR TO GET HIS QUIRKS IN CHECK OR IDK HANG OUT IN THEIR ROOM TO WATCH MOVIES OR BAKE SOMETHING TOGETHER IM SO TIRED OF SMUTTTTTTT OMGGGG LIKE IDC WHAT TYPE OF PLOT IT HAS AT THE END IF THE DAY ITS STILL SMIT 👁️👁️

YOUR SAYING ☝🏾THIS MAN☝🏾 WOULDNT TSKR ME OUT ON WALKS AND PLAY WITH ME IN THE RAIN AND INSTEAD EAT ME OUT?? HE— HE— HELLLLL NAW ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ Low key I’m getting tired of tumblr fics because all it is is smut🥸

my boyfriend billy hargrove headcanons

alarmingly protective

tries to keep you in check with bad behavior as much as possible, doesn’t want you turning into him

like if you’re upset one day and cussing up a storm he’ll tell you to stop and probably say something like “that’s not good for you,”

doesn’t like exhaling his smoke around you because of second hand smoke, around anyone else he wouldn’t care but, you? big no no

unless you ask him to blow smoke into your face or mouth, then of course he’ll do that

dacryphilia, enough said

not really good with heart to heart conversations,

they mainly only arise when he’s super vulnerable like after a fight with his dad

you’re constantly fixing up his cuts and bruises, whatever they may be from this time around

let’s you wear his leather coats only deep enough into the relationship to where he knows he can trust you

when cuddling, holds you indescribably close, longing to make up for the lack of it he never got as a child

earlier in the relationship tho, you two stayed to your opposite sides of the bed,

until one night after a brutal fight with his dad, he climbed through your window and let you fix him up. that night as you lay down, he pulled you into his chest for the first time, and you knew some barriers had finally been broken.

climbing. through. your. window. all the time.

he won’t let you tell anyone but he has a secret love for video games and on off days, he’ll bribe keith so you guys can have the arcade all to yourselves

sometimes will have shutdown periods to where you think he’s ignoring you but in truth, he’s gone off the grid from everyone and will most likely not be back for a couple of days

he’ll be back tho, and you’re the first person he comes to, explaining it wasn’t your fault and never will be and that he just needed his time.

always smells incredible

actually very clean and keeps excellent hygiene

bad jealousy issues. will usually act out at the smallest detail. you’ll calm him down, tell him you’re his and only his, and he’s usually back to normal in a good few minutes.

territorial. leaves hickeys in very visible places, insists on driving you home from school almost every day, throws his arm around you whenever he can sense someone lurking +etc

car sex. all the time. any messes tho and you’re cleaning.

late night drives frequently

spoiling you but being very discreet about it. something like “you said you needed new perfume so,” *tosses you a new expensive perfume, carelessly*

when in fights, he usually takes a drive to calm himself down. he fears he’ll turn into something worse if kept in close proximity when angry with you although you both know he’d never hurt you

when sleeping over either at his place or yours, and he has trouble falling asleep, he’ll light a cigarette in the middle of the night, in bed, and attempt to soothe himself that way by just smoking one

can be mean but that’s to be expected, you’ve grown to take it. although if he ever goes too far, and he notices, he won’t apologize but do something indirectly like a hand to your thigh or a “you ok?”

avid coffee drinker but again, won’t let you tell anyone because that’s “lame” and “for old people”

when in his lifeguard era, sneaks you into the pool after hours just so you can both night swim in peace and maybe skinny dip

was actually the first to say i love you, one night whilst you were applying rubbing alcohol to a cut on his lip,

“this is gonna sting,” *dabs* *silence* “y/n,” “yeah?” “i love you”

has only cried in front of you once, again after you had finished fixing him up and cleaning up some cuts, he began to cry, hard, so you just pulled him into your chest as he sobbed. neither of you have talked about it since.

gets off on you crying, dacryphilia as aforementioned, but usually only when it’s over something petty. if it’s serious, he knows to switch on the best listening front he can and try to shove those other feelings down.

likes his fair share of alcohol but refuses to let you consume too much

the one time you did, he had to prop you up on his shoulder just to get you home. once home, he laid you down on your bed and stood, kind of clueless as to how to take care of someone in this condition

bonus: on good days, he’ll let you bring max with you as you go out and run errands

% — kokushibo & fem!reader ] — 0.7k+

❝ explicit content # cockdrunk!reader # petnames # unprotected sex # riding # aftercare # dom!kokushibo x sub!reader ❞

“that’s it love, just like that . . .” he muttered under his breath as you rode him to your heart’s content. you had been in this position ever since he came home. he appeared to be in a bad mood, but once you made eye contact with him, his expression was lustful. there you were, with your hands placed on his shoulders to give a little bit of extra strength every time you sunk and rose on his cock. you looked down to see your juices flowing under you, sliding down his dick, onto his balls, and onto the sheets. you knew that you would have to wash those after you were finished.

you didn’t know how much more of this you could take. he had already ripped five orgasms out of you—at least you think so—and you felt a sixth one making its appearance. all of his eyes were slanted, some of them appeared closed as he watched your breast bounce up and down everytime you sunk down his length.

his eyes were filled with lust, an ongoing lust as he forced your chest against his face. you were shocked by the sudden repositioning, as you wrapped your arms around kokushibo’s neck. you halted your movements for a second, but a slap on your ass brought you back to reality. “keep riding, slut.” he commanded in a harsh tone, taking your nipple into his mouth. he began to swirl his tongue around the erect bud as he sucked on it like a suction cup until it was rock hard. he gave it a little tug using his teeth as he felt your body jerk back because of the ministration. he did the same to the other nipple as he received the same reaction from when he did the previous one.

some drool started to seep out of your mouth, making its way down your chin and onto your chest. kokushibo took it as a sign that your brain was turning into mush. you were too dumb to even have the decency to suck the spit back into your mouth. he chuckled as he decided to tear a last orgasm out of you. he wrapped his arms around your waist as he dug his feet into the mattress. you took notice of this formation as you buried your head into the crook of his neck quickly.

kokushibo began his onslaught of your pussy to his own pleasure. his balls were meeting your ass at an insane speed as he felt your walls constrict around his hardened length. kokushibo couldn’t help but chuckle when he felt you biting on his shoulder due to the immense pleasure. he kissed away your tears as he continued to thrust in and out of your wet heat. 

he started to breathe a bit heavier now, sweat trickling down his forehead and down his face. this was a sign that he was also near his end. his thrusts started to grow sloppier and more needier. his lustful expression slowly started to fade away as it turned into a possessive one. kokushibo produced one more thrust before he emptied himself inside of you, painting your walls with his fertile seed. 

you both were panting with exhaustion—you a little bit more than him—as you started to fall asleep on his chest. kokushibo felt you lose consciousness and he slowly slid from underneath you in order to go run a hot bath in order to soothe your sore body. he carried you bridal style into the bathroom as he gently put your body under the warm, soapy water. he began taking a rag and wiping off all the sweat and bruises you endured. 

you slowly started to gain consciousness as you planted a kiss on kokushibo’s cheek. his face started to heat up from your affection—even though he blamed it on the bathroom being too warm. “i love you so much. you know that?” you asked, placing another kiss on his cheek. kokushibo let out a deep chuckle, “of course i know that. what kind of man would i be if i didn’t?” you both laughed as it came to a halt with a deep kiss. a kiss filled with love for each other. a kiss that would never be shared with another besides you two. you started to drift back to sleep again with the help of the hot water soothing your body. kokushibo planted a kiss on your forehead. “i love you more than i love myself, dearest.” 

originally wrote and published by @kentofication

Yss

I know this is like so random but do you have any geto, gojo, nanami, or megumi ao3 recs because the only good fics I’ve read of jjk are ones you’ve written 😭

you have come to the right place :,) i post more recs than fics at this point haha most of these are copy pasted off previous rec lists but have been added onto! the ones with green + marks are NEW RECS

here's a post on how to use ao3 to find fics by yourself for those who dont know <3

gojo + ao3:

+ intrinsic warmth: my favourite fic of all time. like genuinely. insane writing, fucking amazing in every sense of the term. 2nd time recommending this! reader's character is so sick BUT updates real slow (which isnt a bad thing!! good things take time!!) so i wouldn't read if you aren't patient // 122k words, 15 chapters, incomplete

+ ripverse: not really a series, more like a compilation of fics! it's got a lot of angst and the one titled 'interlude' contains smut i think so beware, and it's also a lovetriangle/poly-but-geto-goes-crazy-so-not-poly moment // 55k words, 8 pieces

+ the witches' brew: super cute fluff! reader owns a cafe, gojo is a regular, it's all around adorable // 2 chapters, 11k words, completed

+ all that is solid melts into air: arranged marriage trope! i haven't read but @/aanobrain loves this one // 7k words, 1 chapter, complete

+ cake batter: established relationship w/ dad!gojo & megumi <33 not much to say, just short n sweet, i am such a sucker for dad gojo so its no surprise there's one of these on the list.. // 2k words, 1 chapter, complete

+ best of luck: initial concept is really unique!! confessions, slight angst, takes place at the beginning/middle-ish of s1 i think? so cute loved this &lt;;3 // 5k words, 1 chapter, complete

+ afternoon tea(se): gojo torturing megumi. classic !! so so cute love the banter // 1.7k words, 1 chapter, complete

+ my apologies, gordon ramsay: god i hate this man. jk. reader is a teacher and a functional human being; gojo is not. loved! // 8k words, 1 chapter, complete

+ a name known only to paper: platonic, angst- beautifully written, such a unique idea. reader is gojo's older sibling. // 3k words, 1 chapter, complete

+ heart beats: another collection! i looove gojo in this so so cute i also adore bff nanami in the last one haha // 11k words, 3 pieces

+ exposure therapy: this is 1/2 of a 2 piece collection. when i read this for the first time i was floored- i love the creative take, and the reader's character (it was a 'she's so me' moment). this author writes with such a subtle but unadulterated take on love and i adore it // 5k words

+ how to be a human being: 2/2 of the previous rec and the perfect continuation in every sense of the term. oh my gosh, is this masterful- from the relationships & writing of megumi and tsumiki to gojo (i almost forgot this was a rec for him) it's all around amazing // 20k words

+ the sanctity of a name: SO SENTIMENTAL !! what an adorable work that rly goes into the psychology and significance of his technique + upbringing. so real and raw and very him // 2k words, complete, 1 chapter

+ assumptions: omf jealous gojo...... he's so cute in this!! you guys are married and it's almost his birthday, but while you're planning his surprise party he suspects something else.. // 6k words, 1 chapter, complete

+ even with the lights off: RAHHHH another fic that has me floored and pushing the #saveijichi agenda at the same time // 8k words, 2 chapters, complete

nanami + ao3:

+ math help: dad!nanami w son!yuuji.... yeah that's all i really need to say i think! // 1 chapter, 2k words, complete

+ photo albums: nanami shares abt his childhood! // 1k wc, 1 chapter, complete

+ i don't really read for nanami but i would check out @aanobrain and maybe shoot them an ask bc she's a big fan :)

geto + ao3:

+ lessons in love: DAD!GETO.................. im such a sucker for a good family dynamic in fics and this is adorable !! no curse au if i remember right! // 4k words, 1 chapter, complete

+ forever is in your eyes: angsty but ends in fluff :,) touches on his mental state, riko's death, all that! so sweet, i adore how this author writes him <;3 // 2k words, 1 chapter, complete

+ ripverse: not really a series, more like a compilation of fics! it's got a lot of angst and the one titled 'interlude' contains smut i think so beware, and it's also a lovetriangle/poly w gojo-but-geto-goes-crazy-so-not-poly moment // 55k words, 8 pieces

+ dog days are over: a series!! by the same author who wrote ripverse which is how you know it's going to be brilliant !! marriage, parenthood, some nsfw moments // 30k words, 5 chapters, incomplete

+ curious cat: cat gojo and neighbor geto.. i love this one! it's so so cute and sweet, if you're looking for some light fluff this is definetely for you // 8k words, 5 chapters, complete

megumi + ao3:

+ complicit: college!au !! i remember reading this and loving it omg, the unique concept kept me hooked and interested, especially paired w the lovely writing! one of my fav series ive read. be warned, last chapter is nsfw // 18k words, 5 chapters, complete

+ a very special december 22nd: cute bday fic :,) forgive me for reccing all this author's megumi fics... theyre just too good !! i love the dynamics, all of it! // 5k words, 1 chapter, complete

+ kisses and cough syrup: THE BANTER!! THE FLUFF!!!!! i love this fic sm, so cute! // 1k words, 1 chapter, complete

+ nocturnal: establishING relationship fics are one of my fav genres and this hits the nail on the head.. he's so stupid silly in this and i know you'll love it like i do // 2k words, 1 chapter, complete

+ lover boy: 2nd year reader, annoying meddling gojo, placed at the beginning-ish where megumi gets beat tf up- what more could you ask for! // 2k words, 1 chapter, complete

+ difficult to not overthink: todo strikes again! you ponder megumi's type // 1k words, 1 chapter, complete

+ ten confessions: megumi: ten dif confessions in dif tropes each time, so they can all be read as stand-alone pieces! so so cute and beautifully written.. we all know i love a good confession // 19k words, 7 chapters, incomplete

+ therefore, i am: reader gets mixed up in the world of sorcery.. megumi's there, too! // 3k words, 1 chapter, complete

+ takes one to know one: flowershop au..... convulsing on the ground. my fav trope, ever, and so so cute oh my GOSH // 2k words, 1 chapter, complete

+ i really (x6) like you: fluff!! this is the one i linked in my og ask but it deserves a place here too &lt;3 // 4k words, 1 chapter, complete

Billy with a shy reader would include…

based on a request.

it is highly likely that billy fell for you entirely by accident.

he was brooding at his desk and wasn’t paying attention and because you’re ever the timid soul that you are, everyone rushed around and partnered up for the big class project… except for you two.

at first he thought this would be something to just get out of the way. something to put up with and roll his eyes at. but you started to grow on him.

he likes your calm demeanor. the way you sit back and take the world in. 

you always seem to know the right thing to say at the right time, as if you’ve been analyzing him and everyone around you the whole time. maybe you’re secretly a mind reader?

he didn’t think much about you to begin with, he at times feels guilty for not noticing you sooner. 

he’s always been flashy, loud, and impulsive and keeps company with people who he finds shallow and uninteresting…

he can lose his temper at the drop of a hat, but with you around it’s like watching the tide roll in. it’s soothing. he recovers quicker.

he doesn’t feel judged by you

he feels connected to you in a way that can at times frighten him and make him wonder how he ever got in so deep

he also feels like you’re so fragile that he has to protect you at all costs

if some asshole knocks your books out of your hands? he will chase them all the way off campus. full papa bear mode.

he may get a little overbearing at times. speaking up for you when maybe you can speak for yourself. but he just doesn’t know how far that line goes, and he would wrap you in bubble wrap if he could 

he also just lives for teasing the life out of you. it really turns him on.

he finds it so adorable how easily flustered he can get you just by touching your cheek, or god forbid if he kisses your neck…

if you ever work up the courage to get back at him you might blow him out of the water

he loves just being in your company in general

sitting in the school parking lot for a half an hour waiting on max suddenly isn’t so torturous if you’re around.

you don’t even have to say much. he’s just glad you’re there to root him in the present.