Izumiphoenix - Lazy OTOG[E]mer Notes

Gosh I hate this route… (T__T)

Ok, I don’t hate it but I just can’t.

Somebody help me…

This is a pure torture.

I can’t hear about this bloody wedding anymore.

Let’s just marry all four of them together and I’ll leave for a rehabilitation course for my heart… ❤️‍🩹

Shadowheart: Given our group’s nature, I don’t see much harm. We are each monsters in the making, after all.

Astarion: No, I won’t kill them! Well, maybe Shadowheart…

Coincidence?.. 🫢

Oh yes, silly me - I completely forgot to explore all the options there 🙈 Thank you for this addition! I do love their banter. And humor almost plays role of another love language between them sometimes.

He does approve if you say “Is that all you want? Shallow praise?” as well.

I agree that joking around like that shows that Tav treats him like everybody else, normally, like a friend. And that’s what matters.

I did notice a slight change in his expression today when mentioning sleep, somewhere else but I can’t remember where exactly. And that’s also what I thought - that he is not so fond of going to sleep and seeing dreams that might turn into nightmares.

Reflecting in Their Eyes

(5/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

The episode where Astarion is looking in the mirror, quietly questioning his appearance, is one of my absolute favorites.

Since he is a vampire, we know he doesn’t cast a reflection. So at first glance, it seems a little bit pointless… unless! He was trying to make Tav notice, to draw them into a conversation without saying it directly (and it worked!) - isn't it just a sweet way to set up a difficult conversation without being too obvious about it, but at the same time not hiding it too hard? One might say it is another manipulation, but I rather like such a subtle approach. On the other hand, you can see in the camp that Astarion always has a mirror in his tent, so maybe I’m wrong in my assumption.

When Tav asks if he misses seeing his face, Astarion reluctantly, with a snarky comment, admits he does and confesses that he hasn’t seen his reflection since the night he was turned. He doesn’t even remember much about how he looked before.

In my story, I chose an option where Tav takes a moment to quietly study him. When he asked, “What?” she simply said, “I can be your mirror. What do you want to see?” And Astarion answered with something I didn’t expect him to say out loud, yet somehow knew was coming:

“I want to know what the world sees when looks at me. What you see.”

(There’s a more intense version too, where Tav simply says “I see you.” And in that moment, he’s stretched taut like a string - waiting, terrified, hopeful.)

He is quiet at first, but breaks into a smile, realizing what they are doing, when Tav starts describing him - those strong, piercing eyes, they say. And when they get to that “dangerous smile,” he interrupts with a grin:

“Just say I’m beautiful and we can call it a day.”

It may seem like he is back to his usual flirty sass, but I believe he was just incredibly relieved and even flustered to hear that they don’t see him, a vampire spawn, as a monster, but still find him attractive and beautiful. So the shield is up again, back to the safer tone, when the moment is over and he has confirmed what he wanted to know - not to push Tav away, but falling back into familiar habits because opening up like that is so much.

Watch his body language: he turns away, putting some distance between them, as if to regulate the emotions stirred by the moment. He seems overwhelmed, uncertain what face he should make right now, but he is still listening, still thinking. People often look into the distance like that when they’re remembering something - like he does, still processing Tav's words.

But the important thing is: those words weren’t just about his physical appearance, but also his personality or, rather, his presence, because “strong piercing eyes” and “dangerous smile” speak more about the inner qualities rather than outer beauty.

And when Tav does say - “You are beautiful” - Astarion is clearly lifted and cheered, especially compared to the beginning of their conversation. I just love this episode, it is so sweet and touching!

For someone who carefully cultivates control over his appearance, who hides his uncertainty beneath vanity, it is a big deal to open up like that and admit he is actually unsure about his looks. And to someone he is starting to trust. And it’s not just about his looks. When he asks how Tav sees him, it’s also a quiet test: he realizes he is developing feelings for them (well, at least for me, this episode was right before his confession), and he finds a way to find out if his feelings might be returned. It’s a subtle way of asking, “Is it possible for you to see me behind this appearance?”

This is the first moment he let his guard down to show something fragile underneath. To see how they react when he is not playing the role. He showed us small glimpses before, but this is the first time Astarion lowered his defenses that low. And when Tav doesn't recoil, mock or dismiss him but stays warm and sincere, it reassures him that he is safe and seen with them. And he dares to tell them the truth - about his feelings and his "simple plan".

This moment is one of the most breathtaking parts of their journey together that yet again connects to our next realization - I want to talk about it in the next post.

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I already dread the moment my hyperfixation runs out and I start loving Astarion a normal amount.

Ugh 😑

I tried to repeat the same poses like in the last picture from my previous post but in a different setting - it didn’t work quite right but I still like it :3

✨<me happy!>✨

She didn’t give him enough pats in the game 😤

🌿 Meet my Tav 🌿

First step into my BG3 journey: meet Roanael!

half-elf druid | sage background | neutral good

Wild shape enthusiast, book lover, wise leader with a fierce heart 🦊✨

Stats:

Strength 10

Dexterity 14

Constitution 14

Intelligence 8

Wisdom 17

Charisma 15

Personality:

Cautious, observant, strong-willed, caring, witty, gentle presence, independent, weakness for children and animals

Values:

Kindness, patience, freedom of choice, protecting others, survival, trust, intuition, loyalty

👥 Born in Baldur’s Gate to a human druid and a wood elf mother, Roanael has always lived between two worlds - the restless energy of the city and the quiet pull of the wilds. She never fully belonged to either, but maybe that’s why she learned to stand steady on her own. This duality became her strength: thoughtful, patient and observant, she learned to find her own path, blending curiosity with an unwavering spirit!

📚 Never taught by any circle, she learned her way from books and nature, making her quite an open-minded druid who trusts her heart more than any teachings. Growing up in a multicultural place like Baldur’s Gate only supported her non-intrusive character as in letting everyone choose their way as long as it doesn’t cross boundaries.

🍃 Roanael is the kind of person who listens first, speaks second. She's cautious but never cold, brave but not reckless. Her journey began simply: survive, protect her companions, find a cure for the tadpole threatening them all. She wasn’t searching for anything more, be it glory or love.

🌙 But fate had other plans when she met a certain pale elf with a sharp tongue, a wounded soul and a spark of something she couldn’t turn away from.

🧡 When you meet her, she might seem reserved. But if you stay long enough, you'll see it: the fierce loyalty, the witty humor, the warmth she keeps tucked away under the guarded exterior.

About her name: I was completely unfamiliar with the world and had no idea what to expect, so without thinking much about it, I simply chose a name I usually use in all games for my female characters - Roanne. While it isn’t unusual for a half-elf to have a human sounding name it felt a bit weird as it didn’t properly separate her from my other game characters and I decided to give her a different name: after giving it a lot of thought I settled down on Roanael - which is basically the original one with some elven twist added to it.

(P.S. If you’re curious about Roanael’s family I have shared a little more about them here!)

I accidentally caught a moment where Astarion looks at Tav right after making a joke:

Astarion: I don’t know what that toy of her is, but I’m glad it’s on our side.

Close-ups:

Approval check: initiated 😁

On a more serious note:

The joke is for everyone. The smile he’s waiting for is hers.

Still not over this little stool :3

New strategy from extras

It is so funny that usually A-Qiao is so moody and grumpy with Yan Wushi, but when Lao Yan attitude suddenly changed Shen Qiao became so worried 😄