Today's Bug Thing Is This Beetle Trinket!

"No you don't understandd Yakumo is my man fr!!!" I scream while they drag me into the asylum.

But on a serious note Yakumo's entire character scratches an itch in my brain I didn't even know I had.

And he's hot imo but I digress-

I feel like he's a very unique take on the trope of 'starving artist'.

When we're first introduced to him, he's passed out on the floor buck naked scratching his balls and cradling a bottle of alcohol. Unsurprisingly, this instills the idea of him being trashy aand, due to the cultural connotation of balls=funny (which I have a number of opinions about but again I digress) the reader begins to assume that he'll be a rowdy comedy relief type character.

This assumption is blown out of the water at least to an extent by the reveal of his painting during class introductions. The piece portrayed was melancholy and soulful, not to mention the incredible amount of skill present. Even though the manga is in black and white, we can still tell that the colors are rich. This kind of piece is in direct contradiction with his presented personality which is loud, straightforward, and friendly. This lets the reader know that there's more to this character than there may seem.

This is only compounded when he gives Yatora a mini history lesson during the Tokyo project mini arc. The juxtaposition of his smoking the money out of his wallet till he needs to fish to eat and deep knowledge of Japanese theatre history (which, is something that might usually be associated with more wealthy persons) add to the mystery of him. Now, he has evolved from a strange and rowdy broke guy to someone who has the ability to understand and appreciate the finer things in life, despite staying in his comfort zone of poverty, be it on purpose or by accident.

I'd also like to touch on the philosophy behind his work; to make the strongest art. It sounds like something straight out of a typical shounen piece, some broke boy striving to be the strongest. This perception is compounded when we see him associate larger paintings with stronger paintings. It seems childish at first. Just because a painting is large doesn't mean it's strong. Paintings can't even be strong in the first place. This view, however, discounts one important thing, the strength of the artist making the work. Speaking from experience, it's hard as hell to make large works, I've never even made an f100, let alone the gargantuan sizes of paintings that Yakumo churns out for every project or assignment. It takes an obscene level of endurance, focus, and drive to complete a piece of that size, and for him to do that every time without fail takes strength. I saw somewhere online that art isn't the piece, but what happens inside the artist while it's made. If the artist requires immense strength to make the piece, then the subsequent work is strong.

This takes us to the central question of Yakumo's person. What is strength? What does it mean to be strong? As with most things in this series, it's complicated.

Yakumo represents strength. Be it physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual strength, there are times in the story where he exhibits all aspects of it. When learning of his backstory and how he discovered art, we see that Yakumo was victimized throughout his formative years. Whether it was his so called parents, or the woman he lived with, it seemed like he was constantly subjugated to abuse. I don't know if it was middle or high school when he moved in with the mystery woman (my brain wants to think that it was middle school, but I'm not sure). Either way, he was a child who was living with an adult. We don't get it directly told to us, but it is STRONGLY implied that this lady raped and/or physically hit him multiple times throughout his stay there. He described it as hurting each other, but clearly the child being violated by a full grown adult would be hurt more than the woman victimizkng a child. Despite the hurt this caused him, when recounting his experience, Yakumo focuses more on the few good things that happened, see, his discovery of art. He doesn't act like it was all sunshine and rainbows, but he doesn't emphasize how hard things were for him. To me, the story of his past shows the extent of his mental strength. He not only persevered through his hardships, but he used it as a catalyst for his future. It takes a great amount of strength to do that.

He leaves that house, we know, and enrolls in a cram school. He works in construction at night and studies art during the day. He goes without food and spends hours learning new techniques. It takes physical strength to do that. To endure harsh conditions for that long and not crumble under the pressure requires an incredible level of endurance and, for lack of a better word (or the presence of an opportunity to use the right word) strength. Assuming that he's still working in construction (albeit with less hours assuming he's selling his works too) and going to college and chugging out competition pieces of massive size, he undoubtedly has physical strength.

On the topic of emotional strength, I cite the entire story of Sarada and her death. I spoke on the situation in my first bp post as well as the one about Yotasuke so the story of the thing is already established, but I'd like to elaborate on Yakumo's grieving process. He still used her brush. He still saved her empty canvas. He saved small reminders of her everywhere. It certainly gives an air of guilt, though nothing completely concrete. Something to consider is that he's going to school right after her death. From my knowledge of the timeline, the start of his first year in university is almost immediately after Sarada's death. To be able to not only attend university, but begin to make new friends and carry on despite still being in the throws of grief requires emotional (and mental to an extent, but I already talked about that) strength. This also adds a new context to his introductory scene. Maybe the reason he was drinking till he blacked out on his friend's floor was because his other friend died almost a month prior.

I think that spirit is somewhere in between mental and emotional. As such, I feel the culmination of strength in attitude and behavior results in strength of spirit, as well as vice versa.

Kamikaze Girls: An alternative and queer retrospective

Light spoilers for Kamikaze Girls

Ah, Kamikaze Girls. I’ve shouted a lot in reaction to various Discotek rescues, from Gunbuster to Berserk among others, but nothing had me screaming and shouting around the room like the Kamikaze Girls announcement. I never imagined that Discotek would ever license one of my favorite movies, let alone the movie that completely changed the course of my life, and continues to help me reflect with every watch. The film was formative to me in my high school years, and rewatching it recently with the Discotek release made me realize the impact it had on my gender, my sexuality, my friendships with others, my self-expression, and self-acceptance.

For those unfamiliar, let me get you situated. Kamikaze Girls is a coming-of-age comedy film about two teenage girls in the rural town of Shimotsuma in Ibaraki Prefecture. Momoko, a lolita with a very dysfunctional family with a heart only reserved for fashion brand Baby The Stars Shine Bright, meets Ichiko, an intimidating bosozoku girl with a bike so modified you can’t tell it’s a moped. Ichiko admires Momoko’s defiant independence, even as Momoko is ungrounded and detached; and Momoko learns to admire Ichiko’s dedication to her individuality, even if it drives her up a wall. As they learn more about each other, Momoko and Ichiko grow and change one another as they journey through unrequited love, teenage rebellion, life-changing opportunities, working through their faults, and embracing themselves even more than before. Enhanced by iconic J-Pop and J-Rock music of the era from artists like Tommy Heavenly6, an original soundtrack by Yoko Kanno, super-saturated visuals, and utterly unpredictable yet great acting, you can see why it was impactful for many viewers and myself.

Read it at Anime Feminist!

So, you survived the First World War, flew over forests in a hot air balloon, swam across the English Channel, and this is not the whole list of your achievements? Commendable, Mr. Frank. But we have one question.

Are you really sure that all of the above is not a figment of your mind?

This Is One of the best Blue period analysis i've read out there🩷(⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)!!!!!

(i fucking hate art why Is It so good to make)

Blue period 11

I didn't think I'd be reviewing manga, and I probably won't, but this one I have to do.

(If the art doesn't have credits underneath, its by the author; Tsubasa Yamaguchi)

In case you don't know, Blue period (1) is a manga by Tsubasa Yamaguchi about Yatora Yaguchi, a highschool student, who gets inspired and finds passion for art. He wants to get into one of the best art schools in Japan, since it's one of the few school (if not the only one) that's not private.

In volume 11 tho, We're at a part where Yaguchi is in uni but needs money, so he gets a job at a community art class with kids.

(I rate comics/graphic novels/manga a bit differently. Enjoyability > actual quality. Shitty way to rate ik but who cares🤷‍♀️)

Rating: 5/5⭐

(For the God of me i cannot find who made this art, but there's a chance it's Official since I can't find any post that's not reposted and its also used for fake merch. If you know who the artist is, please let me know so I can Credit them)

Spoilers ahead!!!

What makes this volume so special? Well it's not in a school setting. The whole art uni thing is very stressful to both the reader and the characters. Since it's spring(?) break, Yaguchi doesn't have to do any art. But this is still a manga about art. But this one focuses more on one's relationship with their art and others' art. And any artist has experience with that. Alot of people hate their art, and honestly I do too.

Since I like parting things, the book has 2 parts, each is focused on one kid in the art class.

Shoya

Shoya is bored in the class. He has trouble finishing his assignments, he's mean towards his classmates (and Yaguchi) and violent. Yaguchi tries his best to make Shoya interested but it just doesn't work. One day Shoya's mother comes to pick Shoya up from the class, when she sees Shoya's painting, she says:

,,What's so great about this painting? It doesn't look like he did that good of a job to me..."

Which is, you know, Something to say to a 5 year old. Shoya is understandibly not happy about that. But one day, Yaguchi finds him playing some games while walking home. And Yaguchi finds out Shoya is really good at drawing mechs. He talks to the teacher, and Shoya can draw whatever he wants to in class! Yayyy. He also makes this football game for their exhibition. Shoya's thing is that he doesn't enjoy art because he knows what he likes. No one enjoys drawing everything.

Sae

Sae has alot of passion for art. But she has alot of other classes. Even though Sae has barely any time to play with her friends, she still paints at home. And I mean this girl loooves painting. Well until her dad points at another painting (which as far as i know, wasn't even made by a child) and says:

,,Oh, that kid's painting is really good! How about trying to do something like that?"

We're back to this point, where the kids' confidence and how they think about themselves and their art is very much connected to how other people see it.

She starts comparing herself to the other kids. Hashida (who also works there now lol) also notices her painting has changed. When he says he likes her painting, she says:

,,Thank you, Hashida-sensei! But it's not good at all. Im worse than Shikahara-san. Ahhh. Why am I so bad...? I want to get better. I've been practicing so much, too..."

AND I HAVE NEVER RELATED TO A 5 YEAR OLD MORE. Like this young girl is already at this part of making art. Me and my art teacher actually talked about this, and she said this change from having fun with art to being critical of it happens around/after the age of 10.

The kids will have an exhibition! And one day in class, they present their art to the class. When they're presenting, Shoya compliments her painting. And I'll just write down the whole presentation.

,,My painting... is bad because the subjects are small. The colours are dull, too. And the bear looks messed up. It's creepy, crappy and just awful. Why is it... that I can only make something like this? Shoya-kun went out of his way to say something nice about my work... but... he can do that because he's better than me. How nice! How nice that everyone's great at art. [...] I dont wanna do this anymore! [...] My colours are messier than Miku-chan's! I can't draw mechs like Shoya-kun! I can't make cute paintings like Yuichi-kun! I cant paint like Shikahara-san! How nice that everyone's great at art!"

And after that I took a 20sec break ;P!

As far as i know, there are 2 ways people can react to making art around others. You either envy their work and take it as a learning experience to appreciate their art. But I, someone who's about to do entrance exams into art school, cant afford to do that. Or you can just fall apart under the pressure of "everyone is better than me". And it's easy to do that when you have a goal and everyone could be your enemy. You cant appreciate their art and love art together. Because they're better than you and you have to get better. Art isn't about how much you study. Art is about how passionate you are. How much you want to make art. If you hate everything you make, is there a reason to keep doing art? For some yes. For some no.

Sae quit the art class.

Before she does, Hashida asks her to do a collab. They just paint random things. React to the other's painting. Hashida says this (I'm sorry for so many quotes but they really stuck with me srryyy):

,,I'm actually bad at making art. I love art. I love people who make art and i make art myself, but the more I get to know other people who make art... the more is makes me think I can't go as far as them. I respect people who can keep their brush moving with tears in their eyes. I think you're truly amazing for jumping into painting like you did. Even when you feel miserable or think you have no reason to praise your own work."

Which again. SAME. Back to parents, when Sae shows the painting to her dad, he tears it in the half to give half to Hashida. They stick it back together. But you know...

SOMEWHERE IN THE BOOK HASHIDA ASKS YAGUCHI TO GO TO SWITZERLAND, ITALY AND GERMANY WITH HIM AND I HOPE HE ACCEPTS CUZ I LOVE HASHIDA AND HES SO INTERESTING. PLEASEEEEEEE.

If I read this volume without the other 10, I'd probably think it was just kids and being whinny about art. But when you read through so much of the stuff these people go through just to make art. And how they struggle. When out of nowhere, its like 'I fucking hate this'. This book just keeps you think 'Why? Why? Why? Why do they do that? Why dont they just quit?'. And your relationship with your art and art overall is important. It's not like you can look past the fact that you fucking hate what you just did and hate that you're only capable of such a bad thing. Art you create is often hard to love, especially when its competitive.

But art is still art. And it's such a pity that people who would love art and creating it crumble under the pressure of others.

Be gentle and loving to yourself and your art.

Art by: https://x.com/pplaksana

I'm so tired :')

Tsuritama being basically lost media sucks SO MUCH

It's literally one of my favorite animes of all time. Maybe The favorite anime of all time. And I can't recommend it to people because it's nowhere to be found online.

Crunchyroll lost the license literally in the middle of me watching it (for millionth time) in 2020. I'm lucky I scored a bluray on ebay, and I bought that before I even had a machine that could play blurays.

It's so weird bc tumblr was just celebrating its 10th anniversary 2 years ago. And like 3 years before that I participated in a charity zine with a ton of amazingly talented artists. I don't expect a weird little stand alone anime to stay relevant forever, but now it doesn't even have a chance at gaining new fans.

Anyway I fucking love this show. The second half of it makes me bounce off the walls. If I don't watch it at least once a year (usually in april) I will lose it. I will wither. It's only 12 episodes so I'm able to feel the full spectrum of human emotion in a single sitting if I want to.

'Please share this last glass of Amontillado with me.'

This ship is one of the cutest in game but because of how idv handled their game and their personalities (annie being raised by an abusive and violent father while ganji being a very irritable and Anxious person, that prefers to be distant rather than talk about his feelings) it (kind of) can only exists thanks to the fandom, but i think they would have made such a cute Couple, their game in general (i I believe 3?) has a lot of Contradictions (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

Ganji and annie just chillin (i love them sm)

This is actually my first time drawing Ganji he's so cutie <3 they both are

the “i wanna go home” never leaves my head even when i’m physically sitting in my bed