Jalakanyaka - Seine

Salomé 1919 by Max Oppenheimer

seeing people from your childhood that knew you before you knew yourself is nostalgic but it kills you when you realize they dont know you now

i want to sit in the lap of a pretty girl and kiss her stupid. intertwine my hands with hers and watch her smile and pull me closer. i want to wrap my hands around her shoulders and feel her arms around my waist and trace her lips and be lost in her warmth forever. i want our noses to bump accidentally so we pull back and look at each other and laugh over what we have. i want to kiss her lips and cheekbones and neck and jaw and forehead and eyebrows and everywhere. i want her to hold me and trace kisses down my neck and touch me in ways i've never touched myself. i want a girl to lay me down on a bed and make me hers

yelling from the rooftops about how kuranosuke is a trans lesbian and tsukimi is her femcel girlfriend and they are soulmates

i think the hardest part is knowing that i'm temporary in someone else's life. in everyone's life. i feel like i spend a second in their life, make a small splash, then i drown in the water, and make zero impact when i crash. i'm simply a phase, a trend that will die, a cloud that passed through the day, a bug that lives two weeks, something that can't be forever. i can't be forever in someone's life. i know i can't. i just pass through them and even when their life flashes before their eyes, they probably won't remember me because there is nothing worth remembering. i am just a gust of wind, i'll flow with the wind and return to the sea

bpd culture is 'they didn't reply for 5 hours so i won't reply for 5 hours either' and then messaging back instantly as soon as they msg you!

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i want to say that i feel empty all the time and its true. its like those small moments where i have to pause in whats happening and just think about if i feel anything right then, and i dont. it feels hollow and fake, i feel hollow and fake. i read things to make myself cry and it reminds me more how theres nothing inside and i dont know how to fix that. i dont necessarily wish to die but i do wish to feel something or just disappear if its not possible. everything feels fake and metal and unattainable. i just wish i felt something other than everything st once or just anger

i'm so in love with the "legend" that your beauty marks / moles are where your lover liked to kiss you the most in your past life. like how beautiful is it that some pretty girl who loved me kissed me all over my back and neck and hands in some past life and i get to carry all of that love with me in this life ?? that is lovely to think about

constantly grieving over what i went through and how i made up for myself