New Year, Consistently Corrosive Me

so suffocating when i can hear my family downstairs laughing and having the time of their lives while im upstairs burying my face into my pillow sobbing because i dont feel normal and im afraid i never will and my self is slipping away and im aching to hold on to that temporary fulfillment i have sometimes

Molly Des Jardin

favorite word to abuse is percieve

i want to say that i feel empty all the time and its true. its like those small moments where i have to pause in whats happening and just think about if i feel anything right then, and i dont. it feels hollow and fake, i feel hollow and fake. i read things to make myself cry and it reminds me more how theres nothing inside and i dont know how to fix that. i dont necessarily wish to die but i do wish to feel something or just disappear if its not possible. everything feels fake and metal and unattainable. i just wish i felt something other than everything st once or just anger

Yohji Yamamoto Pour Homme AW1995 Floral Turtleneck

Is it so hard to hope for love

i feel so so so horrible

i despise you so much im filled with bitterness its taken over me its your fault.

constantly grieving over what i went through and how i made up for myself

being a thalassophile with thalassophia is horrifying. God set me up for failure