The Worst Part Of "you'll Understand When You're Older" Is That You Really Do Understand When You're

the skill of going "jesus i just dont fucking care" and scrolling on

forced to say “it’s ok” instead of throwing a chair at them

need it in my mouth and by "it" i mean a gun & a whisky bottle

You want me to go to sleep? The thing that almost killed Markiplier?

When you hear a new song on the radio and you’re desperately trying to pick a notable phrase so you can google it later

i love how, from an outsider's perspective, the markiplier lore is like "oh man! look at this adventure with silly gaming youtuber" and in reality the lore is like do you remember who you are? are you sure? i can't tell how many times we've been here before, you and i, trapped in this void. what has he done to you?

i feel like getting shot would feel so interesting for two seconds and then it would probably feel bad

they should invent a type of lying face down that doesn't suffocate you

[explaining tumblr friendships to outsiders] well, you see, when you know each other's porn preferences, it really creates a bond