I Finally Made The Meme I've Had In My Head For Over A Year

im still losing it over the "how did high schoolers write 600 word essays before chatgpt" post. 600 words. that is nothing. that is so few words what do you mean you can't write 600 words. 600 words. this post right here is 45 words.

Whoever wrote this, slayed so hard with all these statements, truer words have never been spoken

To End, We Must First Begin...

Tell me, have you heard the story of of words creation? Hmm, it's not all that surprising you haven't. The story of Bassan's creation is so rarely taught in our schools... I've even heard fellow scholars openly mock the story in front of their pupils. How unprofessional. Anyway, while the validity of the story is frequently brought into question by the more educated of us, I still believe that it is necessary we know our story in full.

Today, we leave behind the crampt, dust ridden shelves of the library, and that stuffy old lab to pay a visit to our local temple. I've arranged a meeting here in the courtyard with one of their priestesses. If you are to hear our story, it should be from those who know it best.

Centuries ago, before ships and trees and the founding of all things, the Almunashi, creator of all that is and will be, resided above in the cosmos. Here in the Avarice empire, they are better known as Lumina or the great Illuminate. There, they sat surrounded by nothingness. They felt nothing. They knew nothing. They were nothing. 

Then, They found the light.

First, there was one, floating beside them in that great, great expansive void. But before long, one became two. Quickly, these little flickers of something split again and again, ever growing in intensity. They held that flickering spark in their hands and watched in mesmerized delight.

Delight? What is delight? What is wonder? All at once, Lumina's entire existence expanded. It grew, and it grew until their entire being coalesced in one brilliant moment of newfound awareness and exploded across that great expansive wasteless nothing. 

The empty was gone; replaced with planets and stars and, best of all: life. Living breathing things of every shape and size roamed the newborn cosmos. There was life in the seas, life in the sky, and life on the lands. The greatest of their works were the humans, industrious little creatures capable of complex thought and creation, yet fragile and so very temporary. What was truly mesmerizing about this new life was its ability to grow, live, die, and live again. It was the perfect cycle, and in that cycle lived magic…but that is a story for another time. 

The Great Illuminate had found life, and they intended to fill the universe with it. 

But before long, the life they created was overwhelmed. These creatures battled, fought, and strove to tear themselves apart. This simply could not do. At once, they decided that these new things they had created needed order. So they created beings in their own image to rule over their creations: the Ajashraman. We know these ancient ageless beings born of the earth itself, Jhamran. These beings were capable of altering all of everything, just as Lumina had. 

But even these new ruling creatures were quickly overwhelmed by both their unlimited potential and the endless expanse of forever that would come with their near immorality. They fought, battled, and nearly burned their new world to the ground. Alumnashi was greatly disturbed. These creatures should be perfect, they thought. How could they be so cruel? That is when they decided these beings needed more structure, still. 

They pondered for seven days and seven nights, wondering how they might structure this new world. It was then that it struck them: there are simply too many forces acting on this world, so many that the structure I hoped to create dissolved into chaos. I must create those who can guide these things who I have created to give them purpose and a common goal to pursue. But they also worried that if they focused solely on order, they would lose the wonderful chaos that led the Aluminashi to that initial moment of euphoric discovery.

So, they created great and powerful guides for their leaders who would live separately above all things, The Aldhalimi. We know them as Halli. Seven would rule the day, bringing order and law. They would guide the world toward its purpose. To counteract the day would also be seven to rule the night. These would seed chaos and inspire innovation. In this way, their world would never become complacent and would retain the spontaneity that led to their ultimate creation. 

Finally, Lumina's creations lived together in the world they had created. Observing this great work of theirs, they faded into the void, now teaming with life. For the first time in their infinite existence, they saw balance and equilibrium. Most important of all, they were no longer alone.

Sadly, Lumina would soon learn that with life and existence, there came another equal domineering force: Atrophy and life's natural urge to combat it. Balance would not last for long. 

Where is the Aluminashi now, you ask? We’ll… no one is really quite sure. But, if you look up into the night sky and find that fortune is on your side you might catch a glimpse. Why, it would appear our Lady the Blessed Dawn Martyr has indeed blessed us with her fortune this fine night. Look, above your heads! See the brightest star in the sky, just to your right? Follow the lines of the stars and you might see a beautiful bowl with two hands pouring out the night sky.

That is the creator still today filling our universe with the luminous gift of life and light. 

If I hear one more person say "Federal workers should strike!" I'm gonna lose it.

1. While many federal workers are unionized, it is specifically illegal for us to strike. Before joining the federal workforce, we have to sign agreements to not strike against the government.

2. Musk wants to dismantle these organizations and dissolve the positions. If feds strike, they won't care. They'd love that. They'd lock the doors behind us. It would give them permission to fire everyone immediately and dissolve their positions forever.

YOU need to strike. Non-feds. For us. Federal workers have been holding the line against fascism for you, and it's time for you to get off your ass and hold the line for US. You need to strike because we cannot.

THE TIME OF ANGELS (2010) BOOM (2024)

Not what I expected coming from John Green

"Virginia Woolf seated in an armchair looking toward a window: black and white photograph, undated,” Virginia Woolf Monk’s House photographs, Houghton Library, Harvard University Library.

The Special Collections Research Center is pleased to announce a new exhibit featuring Virginia Woolf's most famous novel, Mrs. Dalloway. Enjoy this display in the Hatcher Gallery Exhibit Room from September 3 to December 13.

Read more!

A Lovejoy Song is a Little Black Dress

Lovejoy’s lyrics are dense, with very few throw-away lines. Will Gold never just takes an easy ride on a metaphor.  (No shade to metaphors.) It seems he doesn’t write songs, he gives birth to them, and it must be exhausting. 

As a collection, the songs cover just about every possible relationship stumble a floundering person can experience.  There are bouts of hubris, self-loathing, envy, self-confidence, insecurity, and half a dozen other feelings. There is something relatable and personal for everyone.  Listen to the words -- these are songs you sing, not songs you hum -- and you will find something that describes your experience. Someone knows what you have been through and figured out how to express it. If a line doesn’t fit, just wait two bars and try on the next one.  These poems work for everyone. 

And then there’s the constant swapping of perspective.  Will oscillates between first and third person. He talks to her, about her, to him, about him, to him about her, and about himself from the outside and the inside.  In the same song.  At first it drove me nuts. It made me work a little to follow the narratives, flipping the lyrics on their head to make them work.  The narratives are compelling enough to make it worth the effort.  But then I came to love it. 

I love the POV shifting for the versatility it permits. No matter your gender or who you are pining for, there is a verse that speaks directly to you. Despite the straightness of the overall theme, Relationship Misadventures of a Cis-Het Man, there are countless opportunities for queer interpretations if the lyrics are taken in pieces. Gay men (and straight and lesbian slash enthusiasts) get to hear Wilbur Soot sing he or him, if only for a verse. He sings about liking and not liking new boyfriends and girlfriends…Is his ex dating a girl now? Is the ex a boy or a girl? Whose girlfriend is she? Are you jealous of him or of her? Who were you in the back seat of the car with?!? Anyone you want it to be.  These work for men, women, straight, gay, and my favorite, heteroflexible. Sure, we know what he meant. But choose your own adventure.  

A Lovejoy song is a Little Black Dress. Versatile. Sexy. Always appropriate. Now go put it on.