*holds A Bedazzler Gun To Your Torso* Show Us The Kitty Or I'll Make Your Spleen Pretty

The real question is:

Who gets custody of their children, Aqua and Turquoise?

sometimes when i am angry/frustrated and need a venting outlet, i go through different versions of the same (emotionally fraught, aggressive, tearful, tragicomedic) argument in my head--where I argue viciously (with and against myself) over

the differences bt cyan and teal

whether cyan (or teal) is the superior color

if there is such a singular thing as cyan (or teal) or if it is a subjective category that can expand and contract wildly based solely on one's worldview

how to pronounce cyan

how to pronounce teal

it is a courtroom drama that never delivers the same verdict twice. a mental process both exhausting and strangely soothing. an old reliable friend. in conclusion, i am not neurotypical

Can you please reblog if your blog is a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, asexual, aromantic, pansexual, non binary, demisexual or any other kind of queer or questioning people? Because mine is.

Just a quick thing

Found it on Twitter, from @WholesomeMeme

I'm having a rough week, tell me something nice?

An important warning for this season!

Please comply with local ectosystem rules and regulations!

annual reminder not to feed the ghosts! yes I know it seems like a cute tradition, but these are wild spirits with specialized diets, and humans unintentionally cause serious havoc by interfering with their ectosystem

Sometimes I like to think of myself as "Female Lite" or "Diet Female" because while I do identify as a cis woman, it just doesn't really feel important. As if my gender was more diluted than usual. Just enough gender that I can tell there's femaleness in there, but my gender is to femininity as LaCroix is to fruit juice.

i feel so seen!!

(twitter thread)

Danny gets a cold, sneezes really hard, and a Little Baby Man goes flying out like a bitey booger

You know, we don't see much of Danny losing control of his duplication ability. Screwing up using it, yes, but he never accidentally duplicates himself. With most of his other powers, he uses them accidentally, instinctively, or involuntarily at first. I wonder if his difficulty with his duplication power is just that it's immature, and at some point it'll become mature, become instinctive, like the others, and he'll wind up using it by mistake, too.

Okay, but I would 100% forget something in the fridge one autumn and have to get a whole new fridge that spring

a complete travesty that humans didn't evolve to hibernate during winter. we could have had it all. we could have had utopia on earth. paradise lost indeed

I need this story like I need air.

Actually, I want to see this, but with a toddler or elementary school-aged demon trying its damnedest (pun intended) to act like a real, grown-up Corruptor of Souls, just like Mommy! Bonus points if at least one summoner is genuinely fooled.

in an attempt to summon an "ancient demon," the summoners neglect to account for the fact that demons age at a different rate than humans. hence, they end up accidentally kidnapping a baby

The sign of high quality is the fact the book was banned by the government. Trash literature NEVER EVER had any troubles with the law.

Okay but how many students were recording this for posterity? How many people wanted proof that "Uncle Fruitloop" was a real live person and pulled out their phones to record? How many wide-eyed undergrads now have video proof of Vlad "THE Rich White Guy™" Masters bickering with a twenty-year-old, implying yandere levels of stalkerdom towards said twenty-year-old's mother, and then driving off with him as if this was perfectly normal behavior?

Within 2 days of the argument, "Uncle Fruitloop" goes viral. There are vicious debates over whether or not the videos are real. Business moguls are suddenly very interested in the boy Masters apparently wants as an apprentice. "Motherfucker wannabe" becomes a meme.

When asked about the conversation, Vlad Masters claims his nephew is simply overdramatic and refuses to acknowledge further questions. Naturally this only raises further questions.

I can’t stop thinking about how Vlad is like the DP universe equivalent of some strange queer crossbreed between Elongated Muskrat and Jefferham Bezos AND he’s also Danny’s shitty uncle. But you would never even consider the two know each other, because Danny is just some guy, nobody would ever make a connection between him and Vlad unless you were close enough with either of them or you lived in AP. Imagine being Danny’s college roommate. Imagine how shocking and chaotic that would be. There’s some random weird ass kid from some backwater town, that you can barely remember the name of, sharing a room with you. And like, he’s chill for the most part. Weird as hell at times but easy enough to get along with. He brings up his uncle sometimes and the guy sounds more and more insane each time your roommate describes him. “What kind of pathetic old man gets into a prank war with a teenager?” “What do you mean he named his cat after your mom?? ” “Why didn’t you call the cops on him when he spiked your dad’s drink at the New Year’s party so he wouldn’t have to listen to him?!!” Your roommate’s creepy gross sad lonely uncle becomes kind of an inside joke between you and your friends. That’s why, when your roommate announces that his uncle is coming to pick him up and drive him home for some important family event, you all gather near the parking lot to finally witness this myth of a man in real life. It’s also why you nearly faint in shock when Vlad fucking Masters steps out of a car to greet your roommate who, without missing a beat, immediately calls him a bitch.