I Usually Use "I Literally Give No Fucks", But Yours Is Also Excellent

Another addition to my list of story ideas to write (eventually... maybe... someday...)

wait so technically vampires are vegetarians

That's Strange, I was quite Charmed by their flavor. I suppose everyone has their quarks

What would you do if I pulled the electrons from your body

i would feel positively about that 

An important warning for this season!

Please comply with local ectosystem rules and regulations!

annual reminder not to feed the ghosts! yes I know it seems like a cute tradition, but these are wild spirits with specialized diets, and humans unintentionally cause serious havoc by interfering with their ectosystem

I'm reading all the replies about leaving post-it notes on the walls and forgetting notes or journals in places the moment they're out of sight and I've realized.

This is why videogame npcs leave game tips and plot points in weird places around the house.

What frustrates me with being an "out of sight, out of mind" person is that people tend to love suggesting notepads, diaries, apps, lists, anything that you can write reminders in. But my kind of "out of sight, out of mind" extends to that as well. Truly. If it is not in my sight, it is not in my mind. And you know what happens when you close a book or an app? It is not longer in sight.

Plot twist: the Fae of the Well was once part of the same trade, but their mother took home the other child. The Fae was not shocked at being "outwitted", they were shocked to see a mother who could easily tell the two apart, yet loved both children despite the changeling's "quirks".

Two identical infants lay in the cradle. “One you bore, the other is a Changeling. Choose wisely,” the Fae’s voice echoed from the shadows. “I’m taking both my children,” the mother said defiantly.

it's absolutely outrageous to me that humans can't easily reattach body parts. most of the time when someone "loses" a finger (for example) that finger is not actually lost! it is briefly separated from the body but it's usually still THERE in the same room! you should be able to pick it up and pop it back on like a mr. potato head accessory. there should be a time limit--if you reconnect the vacationing body part in under say 15 minutes then that's a freebie, no harm done. i am livid over this state of affairs. i am starting a petition

The real reason millennials are obsessed with avocado toast

for a brief but not insignificant period of time in elementary school, i conflated the word ’avocado’ with ’bravado’. specifically this happened when i learned the term ‘false bravado’. in conclusion, 8-year-old me spent months vaguely assuming there existed a mass conspiracy surrounding the counterfeiting of avocados, and that this was somehow a huge problem the adult world was aware of and struggling to deal with.

These are all good options, and Izuku could do amazingly with any of them. I personally vote either skvader, dragon, or some kind of confusing chimerical mishmash due to forms mixing together (a kotobuki would be pretty interesting).

I feel like there's an even funnier possibility, though: Kaachan broke the jars, and one or more of them splashed HIM.

Honestly, I just want to see Bakugo get angry only for Izuku to spritz him with water. "Bad Kaachan. No exploding the desks. Go sit on the naughty kitten step."

So trying to distract my brain from RL things so here's a poll for my brain to chew on

In this snippet Izuku has the chance to fake a quirk using a Jusenkyo curse

Doot doot

Ack! Away with thee foul calciferous being! Away!

...Where is it, where is it... aha!

Wizard Attack: Jellybones!

Fanfiction: Alphys and Undyne’s First Date

The Undertale fandom seems obsessed with the skelebros and admittedly so am I, but I want to give a little love to Undertale’s cutest couple!

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Undyne sits on a bench in a large park. In the distance there are people playing Frisbee and soccer, but no one is nearby. Her girlfriend, Alphys – and she still can’t get over saying that – is grabbing some ice cream from a nearby store. Undyne had wanted to go with her, but Alphys insisted on paying this time. Something about “raising her affection stat”.

Come to think of it, shouldn’t she be back by now? Undyne gets out her phone to ask how Alphys is doing.

"Ohmigod, ohmigod, UNDYNE!"

Undyne starts, nearly dropping her phone. She turns to see her normally-shy girlfriend running with two claws full of ice cream cups.

"Undyne!" Alphys shouts. "Guess what!" She thrusts one of the cups in front of Undyne's face.

Undyne blinks. The ice cream looks a little like coffee flavor, with a few black flecks. It's still cold, and smells like salt. "What kind of ice cream is this?" she asks.

"It's snail ice cream!" Alphys says, bouncing on her toes. "I saw it in the store and I couldn't believe it SNAIL ICE CREAM IS REAL and I just had to try it omigodit'sjustlikeMewMewKissyCutieEEEEEEEEE!"

Alphys is so adorable when she gets like this. Undyne grins as the little yellow dinosaur shows more enthusiasm than she has all day, eyes bright and words flying. Alphys hadn’t been nearly as excited when they played paintball, though maybe Undyne had been too busy hunting the humans to notice. In fact, she’d been a bit scared of the other players. Undyne thought she’d had fun, though, but it was nothing compared to this.

"-and then she brings them back to her friends, but... it... turns out... they don't like them..." Alphys trails off, and her face falls. "oh no..."

"What?" Undyne asks. To her horror, Alphys begins to hyperventilate and her hands shake.

"Oh no! I forgot you wanted strawberry!" Alphys wails. She drops the ice cream and covers her face in shame. The cups bounce on the sidewalk. "I'm so sorry, Undyne! I must be trash, what kind of person forgets to get the right ice cream-"

"Alphys!"

"-I should have just gone with the flavor you asked for, I knew I was going to screw this up-"

"Alphys!"

"-I've been a mess this whole date, why did I even do this, i should have just stayed home, iamsuchapieceof-"

"ALPHYS!"

Alphys squeaks, cringing away. Undyne feels guilt crawling on her back. She knew Alphys was a little out of her comfort zone, but she hadn't thought it was this bad! They were supposed to be having fun!

Alphys sniffles a little, and Undyne immediately pulls her into a hug. Alphys "eep"s and freezes, then hugs Undyne back. A wet patch grows on Undyne's shoulder, and her soul aches. She rubs her girlfriend's back soothingly. "There, there," she mutters. "It's okay."

"i'm sorry," says Alphys, voice muffled by cloth.

Undyne shakes her head. "It's alright, Alphys."

"B-but the ice cream-"

"It's fine. I'm not mad about the ice cream."

Undyne pushes her back up so she can look Alphys in the eye. "I told you, I love how passionate you are. I love the energy you put into things, whether that's science or snail ice cream. And just a few minutes ago, that was the most passionate I've seen you all day."

Alphys blushes and looks away. She wipes at her eyes, but she's smiling.

"If anything, I'm the one who should be sorry," says Undyne.

The small dinosaur looks at her with confusion. "W- for what?" she asks.

Now Undyne looks away, shame curling in her gut. "I'm sorry you were so stressed out this whole date," she says. "You didn't really want to go to that paintball place, did you?"

"W-well, I suppose I..." Alphys trails off. "It wouldn't have been my first choice."

Undyne's shoulders droop.

"But..."

Undyne looks up. Alphys looks her straight in the eye, and gives a small smile. "But I wanted to go there with you. You'd been talking about the place all week."

"I was?" Undyne asked.

Alphys nods. "I wanted to see you out there, battling people, letting nothing stand in your way, fighting with you side by side... You were amazing.

"And it was fun! I actually hit someone, and you covered that one jerk in paint, and we ambushed their base like in Sable Swamp, and it was so cool!"

Alphys's eyes sparkle with a familiar glow, and Undyne thinks she might have fallen in love all over again.

"So, you don't have to be sorry about our date," Alphys says. "I had fun."

Undyne sighs, a weight lifting off her back. "So did I." She flashes Alphys a grin. "But maybe next time, we'll do something a little less extreme."

"N-next time?!" Alphys stammers. "You mean it?"

"Heck yeah I mean it! You're not getting rid of me that easy!"

"W-well, then, how about... a movie? At my place?"

"YEAH!" Undyne yells, pumping both fists into the sky. "Let's do it right now!... if you're up to it." The fish woman glances at Alphys cautiously.

Alphys nods, and Undyne quickly scoops up the yellow lizard (“U-Undyne!”). Alphys tries to cover her blush with her claws. Undyne is about to run to Alphys's house, but then pauses. She looks down, where Alphys dropped the two ice creams. One cup has spilled, but the other has miraculously landed bottom-down.

Alphys squeaks when Undyne places the still cold ice cream in her hands. "You said this was snail ice cream, right?" Undyne says.

"Uh-huh," the flustered dino replies. "You... you don't have to try any if you don't want to."

"Yeah, but you wanted to, right?"

"Oh! R-right!"

Alphys grabs the spoon and scoops up a small bite of ice cream. She opens her mouth, puts the spoon inside, closes her lips around the handle...

And a shudder runs through her body.

"Well?" Undyne asks.

"I think I know why only Mew Mew likes this flavor."

"That bad?"

"It's, uh..." Alphys winces a bit. Suddenly, she stills, and a crafty smile spreads across her face. "It's not for the faint of heart," she says, semi-casually.

"... is that a CHALLENGE?!" demands Undyne, determination running through her.

Alphys glances to the side. "... maybe a little."

Undyne sets Alphys down and grabs the ice cream. "No dessert is gonna get the best of me!" she declares. "NGAAAAAAAH!"

With that, she takes the spoon out of the cup and bites down, engulfing half the ice cream in one go. "Shfee!" she gets out. "Ah can tfotawwy-"

A bolt of ice slams into her head. Her eyes widen. "Aagh!" she cries out, slapping her hands to her forehead. The cup falls from her hand.

"Undyne!" Alphys says, rushing to her side. "Undyne, are you alright?"

"Bwain fweeze!" Undyne yells. She cradles her head, still trying to consume the ice cream. She can’t even taste it.

Alphys stares, then a snort of amusement escapes. She covers her mouth, only for another to slip out. The dinosaur tries to smother her giggles, but soon she is on her knees, laughing hysterically.

As the pain subsides, Undyne starts laughing as well, and they collapse onto each other in a giggly pile.

Finally, the two calm down, with only a snigger here or there. They stand back up.

"Come on Alphys," Undyne says. "Let's go home."

And so they do.

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Am I in the fandom yet?