I Feel Like I’m Going Insane Girlies Idk

Oscar Isaac- hands talking -hands moving- hands

those fuck ass animatronics would not have stood a chance against this absolute god

people who do not belong at pride:

cops

soldiers

corporations 

homophobes & transphobes 

racists

assholes who fetishize lgbt people and think we’re all weird party animals and treat pride as if it’s a zoo 

performative “allies” who treat this as their token “good deed of the day” they can write about later 

My Eywa

Slightly post Avatar (2009)

Jake Sully x reader x Neytiri (all one sided love though)

In which Jake prays to the great mother above that he'll be able to have this second chance of life with yo by his and Neytiri's life. Slight angst but nothing too gut wrenching.

Jake felt his heart pound in his chest as he flew above the forest. His eyes frantically looked for you as he looked through the mass of the clan that swarmed around him. He passed by as those hurt were rushed to the healers asking where you were, but no one knew. 

You ended up missing in action during the battle. All he remembered was your frantic whispers as you attempted to hold down the Home Tree founded in place of the torn down one and protect any of the RDA who attempted to swarm the women and children kept there. You whispered to him frantically. A small group was here attempting to claim hostages. 

It was supposed to be an easy shot. You aimed the bow to the best of your ability, and just as you opened fire they did as well. You made it, but not without being struck in the side. He found Neytiri with one of the healers by her side. And he hated the look that was in her eyes as soon as they met him. “She is here” 

And he ran to drop by your side. The healer was mumbling to herself in na’vi pressing a cloth into the wound then grabbed your own hand to press into it. Your glassy eyes met Jakes and that wry smile he grew to love appeared. “Well, well. He is real..” your gaze drifted to Neytiri “Toruk Makto. Always knew you had it in you Sully..” 

He loved hearing you call out to him. Loved it when he’d come into the lab watching those big brown eyes analyze some rare flower or on the rare occasion you ventured out into the forest in your avatar, how you’d pick the flowers whispering to Eywa your thanks. 

He remembered a moment where you weren’t the mad scientist hidden behind those clear glasses and lab coat. The one with bright pens, surrounded by papers some stained with coffee stains. How you fit so perfectly among the people.

The three of you sat atop one of the floating mountains in the beauty of the night. Jake’s eyes watched as you and Neytiri giggled together while you braid your newfound flowers into her hair. The two of you whisper back and forth in Na'vi, and in moments like this he felt even more motivated to get down to the Na’vi language.

Because when you both spoke it, it was more beautiful than any language Earth had to offer. 

Your eyes landed on the smiling marine, and you pouted your lip out. In that moment Jake immediately knew you wanted something. It was the same pout you’d given him when you wanted to steal something out the canteen or for him to fly you both to the floating mountains. 

“Let me braid your hair please.”

“You can without the flowers.”

“Jake please” you elongated the please poking out your bottom lip even more making it quiver. He huffed and playfully rolled his eyes and moved himself forward. “Nothing too crazy.” And you happily squeaked and knelt behind Jake who felt his skin flush as he felt you press gently behind him and run your fingers down his hair. 

It felt too intimate right now, how Neytiri watched the both of you. How you tenderly and carefully braided Jake’s hair and intertwined the flowers. The bioluminescence of the forests was as though Eywa herself was trying to set a romantic setting. 

And as he knelt beside you Jake made a vow that day and would keep it. That he would never ever allow you to fall into harm's way. That he’d never ever want to be the cause of the pain that was sitting in the crinkles of your forehead or the fast beating in your chest that thudded against his hand.  

“I see you both.” Your chest rose and fell so quickly as your hand continued to press the cloth into your wound. Jake had to think quickly. It was a long way to the RDA which was surely trashed and he didn’t think no matter how fast he flew you wouldn’t make it.

Unless, and he felt bad asking this. Because he planned to ask you after this war was done. And though it was, he never planned for this to happen. “Your avatar, where is it?”

“Here, it’s safe, but Jake I don’t think.”

“Don’t. Neytiri get Mo’at and the clan gathered at the tree of souls. Her body bring it to the tree as well..”

Time seemed to fade in and out to you, beside you watched as those you called brothers and sisters ride by. But what remained was the fire in your shoulder and the worrying gaze of Jake as he held you much like a babe atop a pa’li that seemed to ride like the speed of light.

”I need your eyes open baby, tell me about uh those flowers you found the other day! The ones in my hair now.” Your eyes crinkled as you caught one of his flying braids running a bloody thumb over it. 

“I need to redo them..wilting.” You pouted letting it slip and curling more into his body. He was so warm, you could take such a nice nap right now. You felt boneless enough and with his warmth that was more than enough for you. You just wanted to take a quick nap. Like the ones you’d take in a grassy meadow. 

“ ‘m sleepy Jake” you grumbled, feeling your eyes shut. And Jake pulled you closer just enough so that the movement could jostle you and keep your eyes open.  

“I know baby, but you gotta stay up. What are you gonna do next to my hair? I’ll let you do anything!”

“Beads…” you gave him a sleepy smile “the girls and I found these beautiful glass ones…pretty on you and Tiri. But I like the thread. Probably keep both.”

“I bet they will baby you gotta show me.” What was dripping? You touched your face and rubbed them together. The dripping didn’t end. Jake, he’s crying. Why? 

Your hand reached up to cup his cheek. “You’ll smudge it, makes you look like…like a true warrior, a leader.” Finally he made it and Mo’at stood at the tree gathering as many of the clan that were not touched or harmed by the war. Jake stopped the pa’li and with you tight in his grasp rushed to the tree setting you down as gently as possible for Neytiri to tend to. She whispered her apologies and removed your clothes as gently as possible. She cupped your face gazing down into your eyes, praying to the Great Mother this would not be the last she’d see them and allowed her mother to take her place crouched beside you. 

“I see you..Mo’at” you slurred the older Na’vi returned your sentiments laying you gently onto your side. 

“We must begin now.” Neytiri quickly nodded 

You could feel the pulsing and the chants of the elder woman mixed with the people. Your eyes remained on Jake, watching how fuzzy he was. His lips were moving as well, you wondered if he’d tell you what he was saying. Neytiri moved frantically. She was praying. Hoping that the great mother would bring you back. As the vines connected to your body that horrid lightness returned to your body making your breath pick up, and Jake could see the panic in your eyes and reached forward holding your hand in his.

“You’ll be fine, I promise.”And once you felt it seep to your neck it went white. Then silence. The thumping washed away and took the pain with it. You could feel her. You stood bare amidst her. She was so beautiful. 

“It is not your time, my child.” 

Your eyes looked for her, but she was around, and all you could do was bow your head,“thank you Great Mother.”

A warm hand on your chin tired your gaze up, like your mother did when you thought you would bomb your thesis defense. It was loving and kind. “There is love in you, so many need it. It is so pure, so big. Do not allow it to hide my child. Love entirely and completely.” What flashed before your eyes was beautiful. Moments to come, pain that has passed. There was so much you would do, could do. 

Jake watched on with baited breath as he clutched your human hand that slowly went limp then fell to the moss. The light seeds of the tree of life settled upon your human body fluttering to cluster on your avatar which Neytiri moved herself towards. Her hand cupped your cheek as she leaned forward pressing her forehead to your own. 

The flutter of your eyes caused her to jerk back.Then you shot up gasping for breath. Everything was much brighter. So much sharper and your ears twitched among every sound and yip and cheer.. Your arms immediately flew to grasp the Na’vi woman who held you tight letting out her own gasps. 

“She’s real..she…” you babbled on as she caressed the back of your head. You were alive, you had another chance of life. A better one. She let you see it. You were sitting in a crystal clear reef. Four little girls swam in the water chasing after creatures in the water. And down a ways you spotted Jake who held the arms of a young Na’vi boy who looked so similar to him and Neytiri. Your hands held your stomach which was heavy. 

You saw a beautiful family. Held together their love just surrounding you. Your sons and daughters. And Neytiri and Jake. You saw the love that was to come. Saw nights where you playfully chased one another in the illuminated night. 

And it was all just so beautiful. But you couldn’t bring yourself to say it. So you just breathed out thanks that mixed with Neytiri’s to the Mother. You thanked her for waking you up. Thanked her for a second chance. Thanked her for the love that was to come, that already is.  And as you silently sobbed  into Neytiri’s shoulder Jake pressed his head to the side of your head. “I know.” He whispered, placing his hands atop Neytiri’s that cradled your head. “Thank you, my Eywa.”

being abnormal about that old man is an olympic sport. and brother im bringing home the gold

Oscar looks at people way too intently, my autism could never handle him.

Dude's out here with the full-blown eye contact like it's a damn competition.

Not even a GLANCE away.. holy cow.

the ocean and the wind. (7)

ੈ✩‧₊˚ synopsis: tonowari is the ocean and ronal is the wind. where does it leave you?

ੈ✩‧₊˚ notes: another late update again aaaaa our finals is so near i am shaking sobbing screaming!! as an apology there will be like mini extras after this so stay tuned for that also what the hell this is literally the final part of totw. my first fic and baby is ending. oh my god. i have written so much in this fic compared to my writing club lmao. whats your fave part and line?? i love them all but mine is lowkey part 3 because that's the start of misunderstandings and pain i love it. tell me ur thoughts and dont forget ily all. thank you so much for the huge support for this fic im so grateful to all of you JKSDGDISKJBDS :(((

part 1 ✩ part 2 ✩ part 3 ✩ part 4 ✩ part 5 ✩ part 6

Ronal knew guilt. Guilt introduced itself to her when she made a young boy cry and it never left her side ever since. She also learned helplessness. Helplessness hugged her from behind when she overheard her parents' worries for her, and it never took its arms away ever since. Hopelessness intertwined its own with her fingers when the friends she made after a long time got upset at her and it never took its arms away ever since.

But you came along and gently pried the sticky and murky darkness that eroded her and rendered her incapable of feeling more. You took her out from their figures and suddenly, she met joy. Joy chuckled along with her with your ridiculous banter with Tonowari. Faith introduced itself to her when she found herself talking with you and Tonowari and a couple of other friends. She learned of love from you, a beautiful and gentle breeze of air, and found one with Tonowari.

Then, your sudden disappearance came and the blues came back and turned into raging winds that wanted to sweep her away. But she held on tight to the joy of the memories with you. She held on tight to the faith that you gave her. She held on tight to the love that formed out for and from you.

But, she has never known anger. She never knew about the red that blinds her and the rage that boils within her veins. She never knew about the wrath that forms a hurricane and wants to destroy everything in its path. She never knew about the madness that wakes a typhoon that thirsts for violence and ruin. Not until now when she sees you in tears on the ground in the beach side with some wretched creatures laughing and looking down on you.

How dare you. How dare you.

“What is this?” a voice booms from behind her, low and deep, and Ronal did not need to look behind to see who it was. The girls look at her and Tonowari behind her. They let out grating giggles and she snarls, hissing at the sound.

“I said,” his voice thunders and the loudness attracted the attention of the others as they stopped to look at the situation, but Ronal paid no heed to them. “What is this?” 

She did not know what to look at, the girls who dared to make you cry or you who is sobbing so painfully that she herself wants to cry with you. The anguish she holds for you, the pain each drop of your tears increases she feels for you overpower the unfamiliar terrifying storm that makes her want to shout at the short-haired girl that finally stopped their useless giggling. So she hurriedly comes over to you and embraces you in her arms. 

“[Name]...”

“No, please let me go…” she feels you struggling, trying to hit and push her away but she knows—desperately hopes—you do not even hold an inch of intention to be away from her as she did when you tried to calm her down when she first met you. She lets you and did not let you go, not even soften her embrace on you just once.

She leaned close to you and perhaps Eywa heard her prayers but she felt relief when you finally understood that she wants to protect and help you this time. But a huge part of her hurts in the way, you cover your face into the crook of her neck and your sobs are muffled against her skin. The wetness of her shoulder brings over a hot air that wants to melt one of the girls who dared to make you cry which she finally recognizes. Letsakx.

“What’s wrong, Tonowari? I was just telling her how you two did not need her anymore,” her thin voice said in a disgusting sickly tone, “How you are to be mated before Eywa soon enough and lead the clan together. Without her.”

She batted her eyelashes at Tonowari like a blind snake that wiggles its body to attract a mate. Disgusting. She looks at Tonowari who clearly has the same thing in his mind. His jaw clenches and his fist tightens, his eyes as still as the calm before the storm.

“Why are you looking at me like that, Tonowari? Aren’t I right?” she condescendingly giggles once more, “Don’t be shy, tell her the truth. She’s just a plaything you’ve gotten tired of when Ronal entered your life—”

Ronal snarls at her. “Shut your mouth! You do not know anything! How dare you run off your useless mouth with such lies!”

“Or what? What would you do?” the vile wench scoffed at her, “Besides, everyone knows, everyone knows Tonowari wants to mate with you. Not poor little useless [Name] who has been with him for so long and still couldn’t have him. I wonder what you have that she, a long-time friend of his, doesn’t? What everyone else doesn’t?”

Amidst her anger, Ronal could care less what she’s insinuating. She could not give a single piece of her mind what interesting choice words she says to insult her. Perhaps, if the past version of Ronal was the one standing as of now, she is sure it would affect her and destroy what little of care she has for herself left. But she is not the old her now. The one in front of her that stands in front of everyone is the Ronal of the present, the one who has changed and will continue to change. So no, whatever slander the unblessed by Eywa herself says about her does not offend her.

But it is entirely a different matter when it is you who she dares to commit such blasphemy and disrespect. It is a different matter when you, Eywa’s blessed child of love and joy, are reduced to sorrow and grief. You, who are full of smiles and everything nice of this world, are reduced to tears and sobs.

Ronal can feel your breath hitch at Letsakx’s words and you go limp in her arms like you had given up on everything. Like you had given up on the love that she and Tonowari have for you but you do not feel. Like you had given up on the way she and Tonowari see you but you do not see.

No. No. Nononono—

“[Name]... no, no, don’t believe anything she says. I see you. He sees you.” Ronal pleads with you as she gently lowers herself and you to the sand. She rocks your body gently and caresses the wet hair that is stuck to your face from your tears. She finally sees your eyes and oh—you’re gone. Your eyes are glossy but they do not shine anymore. You don’t even look at her. You don’t see her. You don’t see them.

“[Name]...” She chokes out a sob and she’s helpless in the storm that harshly scratches her skin. The wind has become blades that tear whatever is left of her heart and dried her blood dry.

“Hahaha! How pathetic! Is it your tears that seduced our future Olo’eyktan? I can’t believe a tramp like you has—”

“Take my mates’ name out of your mouth.” Tonowari’s deep voice permeates the whole island and suddenly everything stops. The murmurs and the hushed whispers of the onlookers, the giggling of the girls who managed to kill her life and love, the whiffs of the winds, the waves of the ocean. It all stops.

Ronal looks at Tonowari who stands in front of the both of them. She can only see his back, his figure towering over the other girls. Letsakx’s arm is held by him, and she could see the fear and confusion creeping onto her and leaving her legs slightly trembling.

“W-What? Let me go—”

“My mate had told you to shut your mouth but you did not, did you?” his grip tightens, his veins becoming more prominent and his muscles tensing, and she struggles as her arm turns purple.

Ronal purses her lips and let her tears fall. Despite the pain in her heart, she feels warm. She feels loved. She feels seen. Tonowari is a blessing and you are her miracle. Really, it hurts how fate won’t let her live peacefully and contented. She silently grieves over the lost future she dreams of with you and him.

“You are our soon-to-be Olo’eyktan! I am one of your people, you cannot do this to me!” She shouts at him but panic can be easily heard from her voice. Tonowari is silent and she takes this as him contemplating her words as she continued as arrogance comes back as she believes her delusions, “You cannot hurt me. You can only serve me as our Olo’eyktan.”

“And as your future Olo’eyktan, you should have known better than to insult my chosen mates,” his voice is thick, full of calm yet venomous wrath that threatens to break the weak constraints of his patience, “and to insult my mates is to insult me.”

He pushes her away with force to her group of friends and did not care that she fell. She starts to sob and Ronal can only grit her teeth. Forgiveness was a lesson she had to learn by herself. She learned to forgive the parents of the boy who hated her and humiliated her without them asking to. She learned to forgive her friends who blamed her for something she never really intended to make them feel without asking to. She learned to forgive herself for the faults she committed and learned how to grow stronger and mature.

But she does not think she can forgive Letsakx for what she has done. To you. To Tonowari. To herself.

“This is a warning to each and every one of you. Touch them again, hurt them again, and I will not hesitate to show you what your soon Olo’eyktan’s wrath is.” He glowers at them and the people kneel at him. They bow their heads showing their alliance to their leader.

Ronal looks at you once more and finds you looking at the setting sun on the ocean. The golden rays glisten so beautifully on your skin. The wind sways your hair, it whispers out to you,  and the waves try their hardest to reach out to you and call out your name.

He comes back to both of you. She looks at him and tells him with her eyes to take her and you away from this mess. Tears slip out and he sends her a smile that hides the same pain she feels, but she sees through him. She sees him. She sees you close your eyes.

Tonowari carries the both of you in each of his arms and into the inner island where no one would come to disturb nor dare to hurt each of you again.

.

.

.

“Take my mates’ name out of your mouth.” Tonowari’s words still ring through your head over and over again. Mates? The sinful part of you, the greedy little thing desperately hopes what he said is true. That he considered you to be truly his mate. But you know better. You learned better. Tonowari is a kind man. Very, very kind that he would put anybody else first before himself. He is putting you first despite what anyone will say to him because he is kind.

Ronal’s warmth encases you and the green monster wishes to be buried hidden beneath her loving embrace. But you know better. You learned better. She is a thoughtful woman. She cares about others first, most of the time overlooking what she thinks and feels. She cares for you first despite what anyone will say to her because she is thoughtful.

They only protected you back then because they are kind and they care for you. Because you are their friend. And as a friend, you should thank them for defending you and offer your congratulations for their bonding. 

But you can’t open your mouth. The words are stuck in your throat, it encloses and constricts what you want to say and you find yourself feeling so stupid and pathetic all over again.

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it now,” Tonowari says suddenly. He carried you and Ronal into the inner parts of the island. The creek where you first met Ronal. The creek where you witnessed the love they had for each other and left none for you. He placed you both on the grass nearby the streaming water and sat close to you. “Please.”

“Please see us,” Ronal takes your hands and you look at her.

“I do.”

“But you don’t.” Tonowari leans his forehead against your temple as he pleads with you. You frown. How could he say that? How could he? You try to withdraw your hands and you leaned back away from him. They look at you with so much hurt in their eyes but they still don’t let go of you. It pains you to see them like this but you swallowed it down.

“I don’t? What do you mean? I see you two. Eywa knows how much I look at you and how much it hurts me. She knows how I desperately beg for her forgiveness because I shouldn’t be hurting. I should be happy for both of you, you two who are so in love with each other. I should be happy for both of you because I am your friend!” like the creek that trickles continuously nearby you, your tears flow down endlessly, “But I’m not. Seeing you two hurts me.”

You tilt your head and close your eyes. It’s odd. You don’t even dare to say what you feel out loud to yourself, much less even think about telling them both. But you did. The suffocating and heavy weight that kills you inside is finally out in the open. You scoff inwardly. You guess it won’t be too long till they would shun you out for daring to disturb their love.

You were alright with being just their friend. You accepted and settled just for that so that you wouldn’t ruin anything. Why… Why did you have to push me like this?

“Do you love us?” Ronal’s trembling voice made you open your eyes. You look at her, with your hands in her tight grip, not leaving you any chance to turn them away. You take in her beauty which made it irresistible for you to say the truth.

“Yes. I love you two so much.” You breathe out. 

“Tell us how much you want us. Let us understand you. Let us see you.”  She crawls towards you until you back away. But you can only move so much until your back hits Tonowari’s chest. She sits so close to you, only a breath away from each other. His arms snake around your waist and you feel your breath hitch. Like a captivated Na’vi who fell victim to the storm that brew in their eyes, you let the wind and the ocean drift you away.

“I want you. I want you two so bad it hurts. You are my source of greed. My selfishness.” Your hand is placed on Ronal’s cheek by herself and you caress it. Her eyes look at you with so much wonder and love. They are so full of life and you find yourself looking at your reflection in them. “You are my prayers to Eywa.”

Tonowari rubs his head against yours and he kisses the temple of your forehead and it takes all of you to not melt underneath his warmth.

“But you two are made for each other. Tonowari, you are mighty and strong like the ocean. You have what it takes to be our Olo’eyktan. Ronal, you are as gentle but as powerful as the wind. You have what it takes to Tsahik. You even proved it once more a while ago, you can make quite the storm together,” you lightly chuckle with a sense of pride and bitterness.

“But between the two of you, there is no place for me,” you smile painfully, “So let me go. Leave me with the sins of being greedy and selfish to both of you. Leave me and go forward with each other.”

“You said you see us. But you’re wrong.” Tonowari suddenly says against your skin. You shiver at his breath. You look at him questioningly. He looks at you, his blue eyes are deep with emotions you find yourself drowning in.

“If you do, then you should have known how we long for you as well. How we want you so bad. How we want you to be with us. Together.”  Ronal rests her head on the other side of your shoulder.

“If you do, then you should have known how greedy and selfish we are as well for you. Be greedy with me. With Ronal. Be selfish with us and let us be the same with you.” Their words make you widen your eyes. Shock leaves you speechless and their confession leaves you breathless.

“You say we are the ocean and the wind, but you are the life. You are the gleaming plants and the flora the wind dances with. You are the glowing lights underneath the ocean it flows with. You are the direction that guides the wind. You are the water that makes the ocean.”

“We might be the ocean and the wind, but without you, there is nothing of us.”

Suddenly, you are aware of the way they look at you. The way they touch you. The way they are so close to you.

“Do you hear the ocean and the wind that has been longing for you and calling out your name for so long?”

“Do you see us now?”

With more tears not out of sadness, but surprise and tenderness, flow out once more, you chuckle hoarsely. You finally rest against Tonowari and fully embrace Ronal. You close your eyes. You hear the waves of the ocean from the distance and feel the breeze of the wind. You open your eyes and look at them.

“I see you.”

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Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals

guys i have had a vision of miles telling miguel about the whole 'i can have my cake and eat it too' but the whole times he's using the term bizcocho which means cake in puerto rico but in some parts of mexico it means vagina and i just 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

miles (trying to show off his spanish): see you can have your bizcocho and eat it too!!

miguel: why the fuck are you talking about my pussy

a comic about feeling gross (for very mysterious reasons) and bed time