Look At That; Yet Another Reason To Hare AI...Someone Remind Me Why Its Everywhere Again?

Look at that; yet another reason to hare AI...Someone remind me why its everywhere again?

Generative AI Is Bad For Your Creative Brain

In the wake of early announcing that their blog will no longer be posting fanfiction, I wanted to offer a different perspective than the ones I’ve been seeing in the argument against the use of AI in fandom spaces. Often, I’m seeing the arguments that the use of generative AI or Large Language Models (LLMs) make creative expression more accessible. Certainly, putting a prompt into a chat box and refining the output as desired is faster than writing a 5000 word fanfiction or learning to draw digitally or traditionally. But I would argue that the use of chat bots and generative AI actually limits - and ultimately reduces - one’s ability to enjoy creativity.

Creativity, defined by the Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary & Thesaurus, is the ability to produce or use original and unusual ideas. By definition, the use of generative AI discourages the brain from engaging with thoughts creatively. ChatGPT, character bots, and other generative AI products have to be trained on already existing text. In order to produce something “usable,” LLMs analyzes patterns within text to organize information into what the computer has been trained to identify as “desirable” outputs. These outputs are not always accurate due to the fact that computers don’t “think” the way that human brains do. They don’t create. They take the most common and refined data points and combine them according to predetermined templates to assemble a product. In the case of chat bots that are fed writing samples from authors, the product is not original - it’s a mishmash of the writings that were fed into the system.

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is a therapy modality developed by Marsha M. Linehan based on the understanding that growth comes when we accept that we are doing our best and we can work to better ourselves further. Within this modality, a few core concepts are explored, but for this argument I want to focus on Mindfulness and Emotion Regulation. Mindfulness, put simply, is awareness of the information our senses are telling us about the present moment. Emotion regulation is our ability to identify, understand, validate, and control our reaction to the emotions that result from changes in our environment. One of the skills taught within emotion regulation is Building Mastery - putting forth effort into an activity or skill in order to experience the pleasure that comes with seeing the fruits of your labor. These are by no means the only mechanisms of growth or skill development, however, I believe that mindfulness, emotion regulation, and building mastery are a large part of the core of creativity. When someone uses generative AI to imitate fanfiction, roleplay, fanart, etc., the core experience of creative expression is undermined.

Creating engages the body. As a writer who uses pen and paper as well as word processors while drafting, I had to learn how my body best engages with my process. The ideal pen and paper, the fact that I need glasses to work on my computer, the height of the table all factor into how I create. I don’t use audio recordings or transcriptions because that’s not a skill I’ve cultivated, but other authors use those tools as a way to assist their creative process. I can’t speak with any authority to the experience of visual artists, but my understanding is that the feedback and feel of their physical tools, the programs they use, and many other factors are not just part of how they learned their craft, they are essential to their art.

Generative AI invites users to bypass mindfully engaging with the physical act of creating. Part of becoming a person who creates from the vision in one’s head is the physical act of practicing. How did I learn to write? By sitting down and making myself write, over and over, word after word. I had to learn the rhythms of my body, and to listen when pain tells me to stop. I do not consider myself a visual artist - I have not put in the hours to learn to consistently combine line and color and form to show the world the idea in my head.

But I could.

Learning a new skill is possible. But one must be able to regulate one’s unpleasant emotions to be able to get there. The emotion that gets in the way of most people starting their creative journey is anxiety. Instead of a focus on “fear,” I like to define this emotion as “unpleasant anticipation.” In Atlas of the Heart, Brene Brown identifies anxiety as both a trait (a long term characteristic) and a state (a temporary condition). That is, we can be naturally predisposed to be impacted by anxiety, and experience unpleasant anticipation in response to an event. And the action drive associated with anxiety is to avoid the unpleasant stimulus.

Starting a new project, developing a new skill, and leaning into a creative endevor can inspire and cause people to react to anxiety. There is an unpleasant anticipation of things not turning out exactly correctly, of being judged negatively, of being unnoticed or even ignored. There is a lot less anxiety to be had in submitting a prompt to a machine than to look at a blank page and possibly make what could be a mistake. Unfortunately, the more something is avoided, the more anxiety is generated when it comes up again. Using generative AI doesn’t encourage starting a new project and learning a new skill - in fact, it makes the prospect more distressing to the mind, and encourages further avoidance of developing a personal creative process.

One of the best ways to reduce anxiety about a task, according to DBT, is for a person to do that task. Opposite action is a method of reducing the intensity of an emotion by going against its action urge. The action urge of anxiety is to avoid, and so opposite action encourages someone to approach the thing they are anxious about. This doesn’t mean that everyone who has anxiety about creating should make themselves write a 50k word fanfiction as their first project. But in order to reduce anxiety about dealing with a blank page, one must face and engage with a blank page. Even a single sentence fragment, two lines intersecting, an unintentional drop of ink means the page is no longer blank. If those are still difficult to approach a prompt, tutorial, or guided exercise can be used to reinforce the understanding that a blank page can be changed, slowly but surely by your own hand.

(As an aside, I would discourage the use of AI prompt generators - these often use prompts that were already created by a real person without credit. Prompt blogs and posts exist right here on tumblr, as well as imagines and headcannons that people often label “free to a good home.” These prompts can also often be specific to fandom, style, mood, etc., if you’re looking for something specific.)

In the current social media and content consumption culture, it’s easy to feel like the first attempt should be a perfect final product. But creating isn’t just about the final product. It’s about the process. Bo Burnam’s Inside is phenomenal, but I think the outtakes are just as important. We didn’t get That Funny Feeling and How the World Works and All Eyes on Me because Bo Burnham woke up and decided to write songs in the same day. We got them because he’s been been developing and honing his craft, as well as learning about himself as a person and artist, since he was a teenager. Building mastery in any skill takes time, and it’s often slow.

Slow is an important word, when it comes to creating. The fact that skill takes time to develop and a final piece of art takes time regardless of skill is it’s own source of anxiety. Compared to @sentientcave, who writes about 2k words per day, I’m very slow. And for all the time it takes me, my writing isn’t perfect - I find typos after posting and sometimes my phrasing is awkward. But my writing is better than it was, and my confidence is much higher. I can sit and write for longer and longer periods, my projects are more diverse, I’m sharing them with people, even before the final edits are done. And I only learned how to do this because I took the time to push through the discomfort of not being as fast or as skilled as I want to be in order to learn what works for me and what doesn’t.

Building mastery - getting better at a skill over time so that you can see your own progress - isn’t just about getting better. It’s about feeling better about your abilities. Confidence, excitement, and pride are important emotions to associate with our own actions. It teaches us that we are capable of making ourselves feel better by engaging with our creativity, a confidence that can be generalized to other activities.

Generative AI doesn’t encourage its users to try new things, to make mistakes, and to see what works. It doesn’t reward new accomplishments to encourage the building of new skills by connecting to old ones. The reward centers of the brain have nothing to respond to to associate with the action of the user. There is a short term input-reward pathway, but it’s only associated with using the AI prompter. It’s designed to encourage the user to come back over and over again, not develop the skill to think and create for themselves.

I don’t know that anyone will change their minds after reading this. It’s imperfect, and I’ve summarized concepts that can take months or years to learn. But I can say that I learned something from the process of writing it. I see some of the flaws, and I can see how my essay writing has changed over the years. This might have been faster to plug into AI as a prompt, but I can see how much more confidence I have in my own voice and opinions. And that’s not something chatGPT can ever replicate.

Shattered under your skin I Azriel X Reader

Part one of more(?)

Summary: Your mate keeps making mistakes.

Azriel had thought you to come home late this night. You were supposed to meet up with a friend after work - and you two catching up usually took ages. What he didn't know, was that your friend had gotten an emergency call from her neighboor and had to leave barely an hour into the hang out. You had enjoyed the rest of your dinner alone, happy to have brought a book with you. The walk home had been relaxing and cleared the pleasant haze of wine from your head.

Even if it hadn't, you sure would have sobered up by what you found upon returning home. First you had thought that Azriel had invited someone of the inner circle over. Unusual, as he liked to keep his home free of his rather loud family, but not unheard of. Then the scent of baked goods and your mates frustration registered in your nose and you frowned.

Stepping toward your living room, you identified Elains sobbing. She sounded earnestly upset. You and Elain had gotten along well so far, appreciating each other as support, cooking and baking together. You were just about to enter and try to comfort your friend when Azriel spoke and shattered your heart.

"It was a mistake, Elain. We can't do this to y/n. You're her friend for mothers sake!"

"Why did you kiss me then? Why did you tell me you loved me - And don't tell me it was the alcohol! I've seen you drink more than that!"

"I'm sorry ok? I was-" Azriel interrupted himself and sighed aggravated. "You should leave. Forget what happened, because it won't happen again."

"You can't just pretent nothing happend! If- If we talk to y/n-"

"She can never know what happend, you hear me Elain?" by the sound of it, your mate had stood up from a chair so quick it had toppled over. "Swear to me, you won't tell her!"

"Why? We have feeling for each other Azriel. You can't deny it for the rest of your life. It wouldn't be fair to her not to tell her." Elain sounded wounded, but there was a persuasive edge to her voice.

"She is my mate. I can't throw that away." Azriels quiet voice twisted the knife in your heart.

"If she is your mate, she will understand. She will want you, us, to be happy."

You finally muster up the courage to fully step into the living room. Elain stood close to Azriel, a hand on his cheek, thumb soothing away his tears. He was facing you, although his eyes were clenched shut as if he were trying to protect himself from temptation. A hopeless endeavor as Elain pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his lips. He whimpered. He actually whimpered and the conflicted emotion radiating from the bond made you sick. There was infinite guilt, but it was quickly overpowered by a rush of affection and then arousal as Elain placed a more passionate kiss to his lips.

You finally snapped out of your disbelieve. Betrayal slamming into you, you heard Azriel gasp. One of his hands flew to his chest as his eyes tore open in response to your hurt emanating from the bond. His gaze found you immediatly and he stepped back from Elain as if burned.

Turning on your heel, you made your escape. All you had to do was get out of the house and then a few steps to be able to winnow away. But before you can even reach the frontdoor, he darts in front of you, frantically grabbing your shoulders and searching your gaze.

"Wait! Wait, let me explain. Elain was just leaving- We- I-"

"Go back to the woman you love." Azriel blinked at the tone of your voice. Dull and void of the emotions he could feel echoing in his heart. He felt you like splintering glass under his skin. And he did that to you, the one person he was supposed to never hurt. To keep save. He was supposed to kill the people that made you feel like this. And yet he couldn't let you go. He had always been selfish. Trying to reign in his desperation he swallowed harshly.

"I don't love her, I love you! It was a mistake, I promise you y/n. It won't happen again I swear!" As he said it and you wished it to be true, you felt the skin of your wrist split and re-stich. Crying out in surprise and pain you stumble back, staring at the mark of a bargain struck. Finally your tears spilled over. You had been mentally resigned to forever feel your mates affection for another, had been in the precess of walking out of his life. And now? Now he had accidentally sworn himself to stay away from Elain in the futile hope of making you stay.

He seemed to have realized the same, sinking to his knees wide eyed. "No no, no no no no no- I didn't mean-" He's looking back and forth between you and Elain, pleading with both of you. Your friend had started sobbing again, trying to touch your arm and apologizing. You head swam. The tips of your fingers tingled and you were distantly aware of hyperventilating. Finally pulling out of your stupor you push past Azriel, ignoring him begging for you to "stay" and "not leave him alone". The chilly night air barely encompassed you before you winnowed away.

You aren't sure where you landed, black spots dancing in your vision as the blood doesn't flow to your brain properly. You stuble forward, crashing into a tree and feebly sliding down. Dry leaves crunch under your knees as they hit the ground.

Legacy

I have to do everything myself. /nm

ship: Captain Price x filo!141!reader

summary: running away from your birth family and then using a new name to enlist in the military came back to haunt you… of course it does.

a/n: I awakened my daddy issues and create a little something for the platonic dad Price lovers of the fandom.

tags: sfw. angst comfort. platonic dad Price. reader is a member of 141. post-mw2 (2022). Price calls reader “kid” but they are an adult (Price is just a dad). John Price being a good dad because look at him he’s literally dad shaped, Filipino words, Price speaking Filipino

You knew this would happen, but you still hated that you had been correct.

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jemandderkeinenusernamenfindet

11 months ago

Fuck "You're allowed to take up space". It's "You're SUPPOSED to take up space!" You can not lean yourself into a corner like a folding chair if you are human. Take the space to breathe and dance and laugh and cry and be angry! You are human not a chair!

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jemandderkeinenusernamenfindet

2 years ago

Unexpected / Azriel X Reader

Summary: Since Azriel has known you he has always had the impression that you were the kindest, most innocent person out there. Until there is a conspiracy.

Warnings: reader is attacked, this is my first fic, english is not my first language

If you have constructive criticism please let me know, I’m always trying to get better

Azriel had been training with Cassian when the bond suddenly exploded with emotion so strong he actually lost his footing as they drove their blades against each other. It took him a dizzy heartbeat to sort your message from the blind panic. Help me Help me Help me. He didn’t even hear the teasing words his brother threw at him before he pushed up and launched into the sky. His hand clenched around the trainings swords hilt. Something scared you and he had promised to keep you safe. Wind whipped past him as he dove for the direction the bond frantically tugged him in. Until he found you he could do nothing but pray. Please wait for me. Please be safe. Let it be something stupid, mother let it be a spider. Don’t be hurt. I don’t know what to do without you.

-----------------------------

You however, had been browsing through some of the stores in Velaris, searching for the perfect dress you could wear to the next family gathering when you first noticed the same male following you out of the store he had conveniently followed you into twenty minutes earlier. Heart slamming against your ribs you tried to rationalize that yes, people are allowed to use the same stores as you at the same time and be done at the same time and walk uncomfortably close to you and now his hands are on you and-

He’s dragging you into the alley between a shop and a florist, one hand over your lower face, the other keeping you pressed against him. Your muscles lock up, you can’t breathe, your going to die and Azriel is going to find your corpse. The disorienting sensation of winnowing pulls you from your train of thoughts. You two appear in the woods, pine trees all you can see, then you’re gone again.

He can’t winnow far.

But the fact that he is taking you out of Velaris tells you that he is not just some opportunist. Not someone trying to rob you or rape you or kill you. There’s more.

“If I’d known you were so easy to take I wouldn’t have bothered to watch you for so long. Your shadowsinger is going to give us exactly what we want to get you back.” he seems chatty, sounds like the guy from next door. Your easy abduction must’ve put him in a good mood.

Us. There are people waiting for me to be brought to him. They want to use me against my mate.

You decide then and there that you would not arrive at the final destination with this male. As soon as you feel dirt beneath your feet you take action. With your back pressed against his chest you manage to blindly scratch at his face. By chance you drive your finger into his eye and he rears back away from you yelping. You don’t think you will ever get the sensation of eyeball under your fingernails out of your mind but at least you can gasp for air now. One look around tells you that you are still in the pine tree forest but next to a river this time. It might be the sidra.

Azriel is pleading with you to tell him where you are through the bond but you really can’t focus on him right now. The male has red hair that contrasts horribly with the bloody tears streaming down his face. You can make out only that his eyes are dark but with the way he’s squinting at you you can’t be sure. His hand reaches for the nasty looking knife strapped to his thigh, the other pulls a hand full of what you guess is fae bane from a pouch. But now that you know what you’re working with your head starts to clear. Your power is a bit dusty as it raises to your command but as soon as the male lunges at you he is suspended into the air and thrown right into the river.

------------------------------------

It’s not a spider. Instead he has to listen to some florist about how you had been dragged an alley and disappeared. Cassian did most of the question asking as he himself was too busy trying to locate you with the string binding you together. You weren’t answering his frantic questions with anything else but the urgent message find me.

The male that dared to touch you would find him a very unforgiving individual with loads of knowledge on how to make people suffer. Never had he been so intent on finding and carving up a being he’d never seen before. But first he’d have to find you. And if there was a single scratch on your body he would find new ways to bring hell onto the offender.

“This is useless, we’re just loosing time.” he ground out and rushed off before Cassian could comment on the fact that he was still shirtless and only with his training sword. But in the end he just shrugged at the florist and flew after his brother. Rhys fell into beat with them soon after, tossing Azriel truth-teller and his siphons. He didn’t ask questions, Cassian must’ve filled him in already. Never had Azriel been so grateful for his brothers support. That they were willing to fly blindly into battle with him and not even ask questions about it-

His heart lurched and he forgot to beat his wings for a second when something unfamiliar thrummed through the bond. Fear and pain and something else. He strained to fly faster until he was well ahead of his brothers. They had left Velaris behind and reached the pine trees, the way there were heading now would lead them back to the sidra.

He was so blinded by the need to be by your side, check you over for any injuries, drag you back to where it was safe and take revenge that he never noticed how your end of the bond went quieter.

-----------

He landed hard by the river, almost diving in immediately for the figure thrashing below the surface. Only to whip around at your call. You were seated beneath a huge pine tree, one hand stretched out towards him, the other pressing fabric onto your thigh. The scent of your blood overrides his senses and he actually growls when his brothers land. He’s by your side before he really notices himself moving, hands tilting your head, inspecting the pine needles in your messed up hair, the bruises down your neck and finally catching on the blood seeping through the blue fabric your clutching in your left hand. The roaring in his ears drowned out the splashing water behind him. Hurt but safe.

The other hand is still extended to him and he tries to take it, assuming that you want to be comforted. But you jerk it upwards and someone coughing and spluttering erupts behind him. Immediately he has truth-teller in his hands and whirls around, wings flaring to shield you. His shadows shroud him in death shooting towards the threat. But he is met with a male struggling in the air, spiting river water and begging for it to stop.

“He was just telling me about how hewanted to take me to his companions and force you to be their informant to get to Rhysand. The others are waiting for us to show up further down the river. He said there’s supposed to be about ten but he isn’t sure if Suela could come because her brother is sick and she needed to take care of him.” you sound shockingly composed and the three illyrians are stunned as you step out from behind Azriel.

“What-”

“How-”

You merely direct the sobbing male in front of Cassian with your power, letting him fall to his knees as soon as you release him. Cassian doesn’t even have to bother tying him up. Your attacker is a pathetic, shaking heap at your friend’s feet and you can’t help but smirk. You meet Rhysands stare for a second but whatever he thinks about you actions goes unsaid.

Letting your power subside you feel the adrenaline leave you as well. Finally you turn to your mate and fall into his arms. Desperately he presses you against him, feeling you shake and fighting the urge to winnow you back into your house right then and there. Instead he looks at Rhysand, who has managed to slip his highlord mask on, assessing the back of your head as if you just became very interesting.

“I’ll take her home. Get the others to my dungeon, I want to have some fun with them.” he growls his command but the high lord doesn’t say anything, fully understanding the need for violence after your mate was attacked.

Azriel levels one look at the male on the floor that has him press against Cassians legs for refuge. “We are going to have a thorough conversation later.” he conveyed bloody murder with every word but you knew the male would not find death in a long while. You didn’t have it in you to feel sorry for him.

“Let’s go home, Az.” he hum into his chest where you buried your face. You could only guess that he immediately came from training to find you and hadn’t bothered to put a shirt on but you certainly weren’t complaining.

He picks you up and you are winnowing. Instead of the disorienting feeling you are greeted by his shadows curling and twisting around you. For a second you are free falling above Velaris then his wings catch the current and you smoothly begin to ascend.

“Thank you for finding me.” he clutched you tighter to his chest. You can feel his heart beating furiously. The bond is tight with emotions.

“I thought I was going to loose you. Never ignore me again please.”

“I’m sorry but I had to focus on not being stabbed or dragged to his friends.”

“Well how did that work out?” he huffed but you both knew that he was just shaken to the bone. Loosing you might very well be his death sentence.

“Perfectly fine thank you.”

“But he did stab you”

“Just a little bit, Az can we argue tomorrow? After this I really just want to take a bath and cuddle with my mate.” you looked up at him with big eyes and his heart melted. He would never let you go again. From now on you would have to watch him train and wait with the shopping until he could accompany you.

(You knew what he was thinking but as you had decided that the arguing would come tomorrow you didn’t bring it up yet)