Shout Out To Fanfic Writers That Don’t Get Put On Rec Lists.

if a friend is experiencing/has experienced a loss and is grieving, and you don’t have any experience in the arena of loss, please allow me to offer some advice on navigating conversations about the deceased loved one.

not every mention of their person is the saddest part of their day. sometimes saying “this was their favorite song” “oh they would have LOVED this” “God I wish they could hear the conversation happening at the next table” “I wish they were here” is lighthearted. the mention of their person can be joyful. or melancholic. or, of course, sad. it can be all of those things at once. but no matter, react to the sentiments as just another piece of the conversation.

you don’t need to drop a 55 pound weight onto the conversation and stare at us in pity or silently stare in a combination of confusion and discomfort and sadness.

it’s okay. we know they’re dead. you acknowledging that in an equal state of nonchalantness will not shock us to death, it’s not tasteless or crude. it’s a relief. our dead people are still parts of our lives just like anything else, and giving your loved ones the space and comfort and safety to talk about their person is huge.

you can always respond by asking to hear more, by mimicking their tone. your friend laughs and says “they would have LOVED this”, take it as a chance to learn why! was their favorite color yellow? did they love kitschy little throw pillows? did they utterly DESPISE kitschy throw pillows? are they referencing a specific story?

if they see someone that looks like their person and get a little sad, ask what reminds them of their person. what was their favorite feature of their person? does it make them mostly sad to see someone who looks like their person? did it make them feel a little bit happy for a moment?

we want to talk about our deceased loved ones. we yearn to mention people who shaped us. the way our society has conditioned us to behave around grief, to respond to the grieving, and to grieve ourselves is so backwards and void of empathy, so we often don’t say what we wish we could say. (bell hooks has a wonderful chapter on this in all about love, new visions (ch 11))

by offering opportunities for people to reminisce you are truly making an impact and fostering a safe environment for those around you to grieve in ways we’re often not offered.

I love how whenever ATLA recognizes Sokka is smart enough to solve a problem but it’d be too fast they just stick him in some kind of situation. Like he COULD’VE stopped jet from drowning a town so they tied him up and dumped him in a forest. He COULD’VE figured out what that spirits deal was so they lost him in the spirit world for 24 hours.

Inflation is so fucking bad we're fantasizing about stalkers leaving groceries

They're besties, your honor.

sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

see the THING IS I don't feel like I ever worked hard enough to have "earned" the burnout, which is. probably how we got here.

Shirt that says REJECTING ONE INCORRECTLY BLACK AND WHITE VIEW OF HISTORY FOR ANOTHER IS NOT PROGRESS

”match my freak” match my melancholy. be nostalgic about a past you weren’t even that happy in. find something to be haunted about throughout every second of your day