Mod Post!

American Dream:✅

I begin every work week telling myself this will finally be the week I do not humiliate myself with a regrettable blunder. I almost made it through this week without bringing myself shame, but shortly after beginning my shift, I spilled an entire pot of coffee on myself. I could feel my co-workers' eyes on me, and I felt the dread at what had become an occurrence at least once per week:

My co-workers began to circle me, closing in on me, and chanting, "You're not a real adult. You're not a real adult. You're not a real adult! You're not a real adult!"

I collapse to the floor as tears run down my cheeks. Maybe next week will be different.

Never. It’s very homely in here. 🇺🇸

WERE YOU REALLY THE 37TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA????

Why, of course I was! Why do you ask? 🇺🇸

My other account is a boom account

This is the guy who made the first genetically-engineered babies (a horrific ethics violation that landed him 3 years in prison) and his tweets are so unhinged that I genuinely can't tell if he's trying to be funny or is 100% serious

The good old days.

James Dean photographed by Dennis Stock, Fairmount, IN, 1955

sears

@elvis-official Mr. Presley. How in hell did you eat 22 pounds of these sandwiches, and… can you teach me?

i'm minding my own business reading the wikipedia page list of sandwiches and like. what kind of metabolism did elvis possess holy shit

I am officially a vocaloid. Po pi po po pi pi. Thank you.

greetings from one Jimmy to another

Greetings, sir.

Richie, did you even listen to the song? It’s quite literally about how you can enjoy something without supporting the ideals behind it.

“You don’t need a rationale/To sing the internationale.”

Your ignorance is astounding!

God Bless Freedom of Expression. 🇺🇸

oof! ouch! hang on there's something stuck in my shoe *I remove my shoe and turn it over and a small wooden structure tumbles out* well fuck. looks like someone built a little birdhouse in my sole