Caitlyn: In Your Opinion, What’s The Height Of Stupidity?

Jinx: People are always asking me if I am more of a morning person or a night person.

Jinx: And I’m just like, buddy! I’m barely even a person

Viktor: Jayce, you’re testifying in an aggravated assault case tomorrow, and the DA is worried about how you will present yourself on the stand.

Jayce: Why? I’m fine on the stand?

*flashback to testimony #1*

Jayce: Look, I’ll make this real simple so even these dumdums can understand.

Jayce: MAN. DID. CRIME.

*flashback to testimony #2*

Jayce: I’m sorry, could you make her stop doing that weird thing with her face?

Mel, next to the crying defendant: … Crying?

*flashback to testimony #3

Jayce: And when this is over, I’m gonna find you and I’m gonna break all those little fingers.

Mel: Could the witness please stop threatening the stenographer?

Caitlyn: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween. It’s terrible for the environment.

Singed: *in the shadows* Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly. And I have a couple spare ones already. Look at you helping me save the environment and even better helping me save money. Thank you.

Caitlyn: That’s not what I- Never mind. Go crazy.

*Jayce and Viktor entering a dive bar*

Viktor: Look I know you’re disappointed but could we at least have a drink.

Jayce, in scuba diving suit: I would like to leave please.

Viktor: I just don’t understand why you would wear something like that.

Jayce: YOU DIDNT CLARIFY WHAT THE DRESS CODE WAS FOR OUR LITTLE OUTING. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A SCUBA SUIT IN MY SIZE! I AM A BIG MAN VIKTOR! NO YOU EMBARRASSED ME AND THE SUIT IS RIDING AND ITS GIVING ME THIS WEIRD RASH-

Viktor: Alright we are leaving. Me and my big mouth.

Sevika: There are no more swear words in this house. If one is said you will have to deal with the boss.

Powder/Jinx: Heck.

Sevika: You’re on thin fucking ice kid.

Silco: …

Sevika: Dammit.

Jinx: You … you saved me. You’re not a beast at all. YOU’RE A HERO, AN UGLY UGLY UGLY HERO!

Caitlyn: Call me ugly again, and maybe I’ll eat you.

Claggor: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.

Vi: That’s the most hopeful thing I’ve ever heard.

Mylo: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?

Powder/Jinx: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

*And then they all got blown up by someone that rhymes with mowder/pinx. The end*

Viktor, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career.

Jayce, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.

Caitlyn: What the fuck are you guys doing?

Jayce: Playing systematic oppression

Jayce: *kicks the door down looking panicked*

Viktor: What did you do?

Jayce: Nobody died.

Viktor: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Jayce: I’m 10 times funnier and sexier than you.

Viktor: 10 times 0 is still 0 though.

Jayce: Jokes on you I can’t do math.