tfw ur wife turns into a cat 🐈 (based on this cute fic by @pseudowho )
Poster Request: "f1 driver carlos sainz jr and any of his wins." (2024)
i took some creative liberties with this request but i couldn't resist
The fact that humans can be killed through physical means is so ridiculous to me
Nicole Piastri strikes again
BILLION DOLLAR MAN | a series.
PAIRING: president!Sukuna x journalist!Reader
SYNOPSIS: you get in trouble with the law for hate speech (totally bogus; like, hellooo, Freedom of the Press, anyone?), and, in a way to get you out of further repercussions, the president, himself—whom you went to college with—proposes a deal: be his fake wife. totally preposterous, but, then again . . . your news column could use a little more publicity, and you were in need of a [pseudo] sugar daddy.
ⓘ MDNI; enemies-lovers; smut (every chapter); fake marriage trope; each headline will be additionally tagged on their respective posts.
A/N: the table of contents below is subject to change at any time.
𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐈 : MAN of the HOUR ▷ preview. you've slandered his name all across your blog's public column since you got your master's degree, but tonight's gala is the first time you're seeing him face-to-face since your college days—ladies and gentlemen: Sukuna Ryomen, or, better yet, Mr. President.
𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐈 : MIMOSA MONDAYS ▷ preview. would ignoring your work and avoiding paying taxes still be as bad if it meant joining the Mile High Club . . . ? when Sukuna drags you along on a business trip, there's only one way to find out.
𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈 : RED LIPS & RED BOTTOMS ▷ preview. to prevent any rumors, you two arrange going on a date—in public, where anyone could see. but, it's also so you two can finally get to know each other better, if that was even possible . . .
𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐕 : FIRST LADY ▷ preview. years have now passed since that fateful encounter at the gala, and Sukuna's first term as president has come to an end; could the same be said about your fake marriage, though?
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It started innocently enough.
“Here. Happy anniversary, brat!”
Sukuna handed you a big ass box (his gift), grinning like he’d just given you the solution to all your life problems. You took it, eyeing him suspiciously.
“Wow, you’re really splurging on me, babe. What’s inside?”
“Just open it.”
“Okay fine –” you tore off the wrapping and blinked. “What the fuck is this?” You asked nicely with shock as you stared at your husband’s gift, utterly baffled.
Because, really. What the fuck was this? Inside the big box… were six smaller boxes.
And as someone who’s chronically online (admit it, the only apps you ever open are twitter – you still refuse to call it ‘X’ – for F1 updates, tumblr, instagram, youtube, and pinterest), your algorithm had NEVER shoved this thing in your face.
Sukuna, on the other hand, looked way too smug about it. Arms crossed, smirk in place, even throwing in a wink for good measure.
“That, my dear wife, is a fucking Labubu.”
“A what?”
“A Labubu,” he repeated, as if that explained anything.
“Huh?”
“You seriously haven’t heard of it?” Sukuna blinked, feigning shock. “Weird. I thought you were the one most updated between us.”
“Well yeah, but not with… whatever this is,” you narrowed your eyes as you shot back. “Mostly just F1, Stardew, and some new game drops. Not this.”
“Oh well,” he shrugged. “Just open one already.”
“Fine,” you sighed, grabbing a box and tearing into the packaging.
“Huh, why is there another plastic inside?”
“Obviously, because it’s a blind box, brat,” Sukuna replied, his tone dripping with amusement.
“Pfft, why are you so impatient today?”
“I’m just very excited for your reaction”
You narrowed your eyes, again, at your husband and said, “No, really. Tell me, babe.”
“Just open it. Stop stalling.”
“Hmp, fine –” and you ripped the plastic open.
Then you squinted. “What the hell am I looking at?”
Inside was a tiny, goblin-looking creature. You held up the plush toy in your hands, inspecting it like it was an alien artifact. It had big round eyes, sharp little teeth, and fur that made it look like a cross between a mischievous raccoon and... a gremlin.
"It's cute," Sukuna declared, like that was the only justification needed.
“You’re telling me this –”you wiggled the plushie at him, still very skeptical about this whole gift thing, “– is supposed to be cute?”
“Obviously.”
“Sukuna. This thing looks like it’s gonna scam me out of my life savings and then laugh about it.”
“Exactly,” he smirked. “Just like you.”
You gasped, clutching your chest. “Wow. So that’s what you really think of me, huh?”
“Don't act so shocked.” He leaned in, voice dropping to that infuriatingly smug drawl. “You did swindle me into marrying you.”
“Excuse me? I swindled you?”
“Mhm.”
“You literally begged me to marry you.”
“Did I?” He tilted his head, playing dumb.
“Yes.” You crossed your arms, glaring up at him. “You were down bad. It was embarrassing, honestly.”
Sukuna scoffed. “I don’t recall.”
“Should I pull up the texts?”
“Anyway,” he cut you off, reaching for another box inside the box set, “open the other ones. You’ve got five more to go.”
You eyed him warily. Then the box. Then back at him. “…Why do I feel like you just dragged me into some weird collector's cult?”
“It’s not a cult—“
“That’s exactly what someone in a cult would say.”
Sukuna just chuckled and handed you the next box.
You sighed, opening it—because at this point, you might as well embrace your fate. After opening all the boxes, you set them on your shelf, thinking that was that. Oh, if only you know how wrong you were.
A week later, you found yourself scrolling through Labubu forums. You don’t know how it happened. One moment, you were researching out of sheer curiosity – and then it was 3AM. Sukuna was fast asleep beside you, and you were staring at photos of different Labubu plushies and figurines, heart pounding like you’d just discovered a new religion.
Wait… are these actually kinda cute?
No.
No, no, no.
You turned your phone off. Absolutely not. And put in on your bedside table. No way in hell.
But the next day, you found yourself staring at your Tasty Macarons Labubus a little too long. And your husband? Of course, he noticed this.
“Babe.”
No response.
He moved closer, sitting beside you on the couch. “Babe, you’ve been ignoring me. What’s up?”
“…Huh?” This time, you finally tore your gaze away from your shelf and turned towards your husband and said, “Nothing, don’t worry.”
“You sure? You look like you’re about to shut down.”
Ttruth be told, you were debating whether to check out the Have a Seat collection sitting in your cart since 3AM or not. But you’d rather die than admit that to Sukuna.
And then another week passed, and somehow – somehow – your new collection arrived. Your husband took one look at it and raised a brow.
“So that’s why you’ve been out of it all week.”
“What do you mean?” You shot back.
“Babe,” he drawled, smirking. “I knew you’d get addicted,” he simply added with his I-know-everything-about-you tone. “Next thing you know, you’ll be selling your soul to rare editions.”
“Pfft, no way.”
“Uh-huh. Give it two weeks before you start spiraling.”
You rolled your eyes. “It’s just a phase, babe.”
It was not a phase. You were wrong. Sukuna was right. Always right.
Because a week later, you nearly had a breakdown when Sukuna surprised you with three big-ass plush dolls – Angel in Cloud, I Found You, and Catch Me If You Like Me.
“Oh my God, they’re so fucking cute,” you whispered, clutching one to your chest like it was your firstborn.
And your ever-loving husband? He just flashed that signature smirk of his, watching you descend into madness. As if he’s actually supporting (more like enabling) you going crazy over these plush toys.
Another week passed, and you found yourself pressing “checkout” on the Coca-Cola Special Set. Then, not even a week passed but in just 3 days, you went full psycho mode, caving in and splurging on all the special edition Labubus – Wings of Fortune, Happy Halloween, Wings of Fantasy, Fall in Wild… and more.
At this point, your soul had left your body, and you refuse to do the math on how much you had spent. And as they say: denial is a healthy coping mechanism.
By the time your birthday (just a week later passed) rolled around, Sukuna dropped the biggest bomb yet and gifted you four entire boxed collections which are all lined up on the dining table, wrapped with a pretty ribbon.
You gasped. “FOUR?!”
Yes, you were losing your mind. You were in Labubu fucking heaven. This was no longer a phase. This was a full-blown lifestyle.
And your husband? He was just watching. Amused. Satisfied. Like a man who had bet on the right horse.
“You’re so gone,” he smirked.
You clutched your new babies and agreeing with him, “I am so gone.”
But you see, there was one problem. Scratch that, four problems.
After all your collections, the only ones missing were the Mega Sketch Labubu 1000% and the elusive secret plushies from all the pendant sets. I mean what are you even gonna hang on your designer bags for next week? Here’s when your true descent into madness began.
As a woman on a mission, you scoured the internet, joined every damn collector’s group to hunt these secrets down. And after an intense bidding war – finally – you secured the three missing secret plushies.
For… a mere $700.
The cherry on top? Once these plushies came, you ended up opening all boxes and inside were fucking Lafufus. The knock-off ones who don’t even look the exact same.
Of course and obviously, you cried. And Sukuna? Oh bless the Gods everywhere, your husband was pissed. Not just the mildly annoyed kind of pissed – it’s the you-are-the-biggest-dumbass-I’ve-ever-married kind of pissed. In short, he was fucking livid.
“Are you kidding me?” He grumbled, rubbing his temples with one hand and the other patting you on the back with you crying for hours now since you opened those damn boxes. “I told you to double-check before buying from random sellers, dumbass.”
“I did check!”
He shot you a look and said, “For someone who triple-checks F1 rumors, you forgot this one time where it involves your money, brat.”
“I panicked!” You wailed. “The seller said it someone else was gonna buy it if I don’t act fast.”
He exhaled, slow and controlled. “You fucking idiot.” And yes, he’s done with your bullshit. For the next two days, he said nothing about Labubus. Which meant you were suffering in silence.
With your husband being him, even after all that, even after your idiotic decision-making, he still went and did what he does best – spoiling you rotten.
On the third day of Labubu silence, you woke up to a giant box sitting in the middle of your living room.
You gasped, scrambling to tear the wrapping open. And there it was, in all its oversized glory – the Mega Sketch Labubu 1000%. And right next to it? Three, small neatly wrapped packages.
Your hands shook as you opened them. And when you did, your soul left your body. Yes, it was that crazy for you.
Inside were the three secret plushies. The real ones!
You turned to look at Sukuna, eyes wide with tears and disbelief. And yes, you’re on your knees, grabbing the couch for support, “You… you did not. No fucking way this is real!”
Sukuna smirked, arms crossed. “Well, I did, baby. And it’s real. And just so I don’t forget, happy belated birthday, dumbass.”
Still can’t believe that all of this is true, your jaw dropped. “I – HOW?! THESE ARE – THEY’RE LIKE – THEY’RE IMPOSSIBLE TO GET??? IT’S SOLD OUT EVERYWHERE!”
“I have my ways.”
You choked on air. “SUKUNA!”
He just shrugged and leaned on the doorway, looking way too pleased with himself. “Figured I’d complete your collection before you go and do something stupid again.”
You threw yourself at him, clinging to him like a koala, tears in your eyes. “You’re the best husband ever, oh my god.”
“Ugh – get off!” He groaned, trying to pry you off him.
“NOPE! NEVER LETTING GO! You love me so much, it’s actually embarrassing for you”
“Tch. As if.”
“You doooo,” you cooed, snuggling closer. “You got me my dream Labubu even though I made the dumbest purchase of my life.”
Sukuna sighed, but his hand was already under your butt and squeezing them. “Yeah, yeah. You’re still a dumbass, brat.”
You pouted. “Rude.”
And so, with your ultimate Labubu collection complete, you swore you were done. No more. This was it. The final haul.
The next week, your doorbell rang. Sukuna frowned as he stared up from his laptop and called for you, “Babe, did you order something again?”
“Nope!”
You ran towards the door and find another large parcel sitting on your doorstep. And yes, you just remembered, you did order something… when you were sulking over that scamming situation.
You brought the box inside and set it in the middle of your living room. With Sukuna who stopped his reading and raised a brow at you. Giggling, you opened the box and yes inside was an entire Space Molly figurine set.
You turned to Sukuna in slow motion.
He just let out a long, suffering sigh, dragging a hand down his face.
“You’re fucking hopeless.”
“Ehh, you still love me.”
a/n: this was one of the reasons why i was gone for a month or two. i was fucking livid with these damn blind boxes. especially, labubus! but thanks heavens, all my blind boxes were gifted to me and i haven't spent a dime yet on any of these blind boxes... and please... this hasn't been edited nor proofread yet aaaa
⠀ㅤ⠀ ⠀𖥻⠀ㅤ⠀﹫⠀kento⠀nanami.
ㅤㅤⓘㅤㅤfluff, reader and kento are married + have a daughter, f!reader as it contains mentions of reader going through motherhood + being called mother, reader is implied to have taken nanami as a last name.
"shhh, shh, it's okay.. it's okay sweetheart.."
it was originally kento that had encouraged you to leave for this trip. you thank all your lucky stars for your husband being as supportive as he was throughout your journey of motherhood. never allowing you to have to pick your career over your family or your family over your career.
he was your balance. your hold onto the ground when you felt like you were ready to float away.
he was your everything.
but now he had begun to regret letting you leave today. your daughter was 7 months old. he had told you, that surely she was okay to spend just two nights away from her mother. but it seemed she had grown near inseparable from her mother. all understanding for just a baby, but in this moment he couldn't bare having to hear his daughter cry further. he was ready to begin breaking down himself at this point.
he tiredly reached for his phone. shamefully calling your number at 2 am, fully aware you had an important meeting early next morning. how he loathed himself at the moment. grumbling out a "dear god" as the phone rang for a few seconds.
you picked up shortly, unsurprisingly. you had made it very clear to him that he should call you no matter what, whenever he needed if he needed help. he had assured you that it wouldn't have to come to that, so you couldn't help but smile when you heard your daughters wailing in the background.
"didn't need me huh?" he didn't even need to see you. he could practically hear your insufferable smirk, that he unfortunately missed more than ever.
"never said that. now please god, sweetheart, she's not stopped crying for a good half an hour." you laughed, still on the other side of the world you were being woken up because of your daughters crying late at night. it was humorous, and strangely sweet.
you requested a facetime, and he accepted quickly. you looked straight into your daughters teary eyes, and she looked back all bug eyed, her crying slowly coming to a stop. you didn't know if she was more thrilled to see you or the metal square shine a bright light in her face.
"hi baby, you're not giving your papa a hard time, right?" your daughter responded in little babbles. your heart warmed a little, and you could see your beloved grinning in the background. you hadn't admitted it- barely even noticed it in fact, how much you truly missed your little family. you needed this too.
you and your daughter continued baby-talking for a good few minutes until you could see her yawning, to which kento had placed a bottle into her mouth. she slowly began to fall asleep, drinking the now lukewarm milk.
you looked at your husband with loving eyes. he looked back at you with just the same fervor. like you were his whole world, like you'd hung up the stars for him. even as you were halfway across the world from him. he would never hate you for caring about your career. it made you practically ill with adoration.
"stay on call with me please? i miss you."
"i miss you too, sweetheart. of course i will."
"goodnight, i love you papamin."
"goodnight mamamin. i love you too."
⠀ㅤ⠀⠀©⠀all work written by ﹫amortxt. do not repost.
toji fushiguro is not a man of structure.
he sleeps when he’s tired, eats when he’s hungry, and doesn’t bother with trivial things like routines or household organization. his apartment is livable, sure, but it’s clear he doesn’t put much thought into it—clothes draped over furniture, dishes left in the sink, mail stacked haphazardly on the counter. he knows where everything is (more or less), but it’s not exactly functional.
then you move in.
and suddenly, there are little signs of change.
the first time he notices, it’s in the kitchen—his mismatched, barely-there collection of plates and cups has doubled. your things now sit alongside his, an extra coffee mug on the counter, a set of utensils that actually match.
then, in the bathroom—your toothbrush next to his, your skincare products cluttering the sink. it should annoy him, but it doesn’t. if anything, he finds himself lingering there a little longer, just to see the proof that you’re here.
his bed, once a mess of tangled sheets he never bothered to fix, is suddenly made in the mornings. not neatly, not perfectly, but enough that it looks intentional. toji never cared before, but when you crawl into bed at night and sigh, all content and cozy, he thinks… maybe it’s nice.
it’s a slow shift, but he adjusts—without realizing it, without meaning to.
and then one day, you notice.
you’re standing in the entryway, slipping your shoes on, when something catches your eye. a small wooden tray by the door, something you’re sure wasn’t there before.
and sitting inside it—your keys, alongside his.
your breath catches.
toji, already halfway out the door, glances back. “you comin’?”
you don’t answer right away, just staring at the little tray.
“…did you put this here?” your voice is quiet.
he shrugs. “you always lose your damn keys. figured this’d help.”
your eyes burn.
toji sighs. “don’t start crying over a tray.”
but it’s not just the tray. it’s everything—the way he started putting his laundry in the hamper because you do, the way he doesn’t leave dishes in the sink anymore because he knows you’ll wash them if he does. the way he bought an extra blanket because you always get cold, the way he waits to eat if you’re not home yet.
you sniffle. “you changed for me.”
he steps closer, tilting your chin up. “didn’t change, baby. just—” his thumb brushes your cheek. “—made space.”
your lip wobbles. “for me.”
he smirks. “who else?”
and when you throw yourself at him, arms wrapped tight around his waist, toji just chuckles, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
the world could use more fics like this😭😭💞💞
Miss-tery
‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙
Nanami and Itadori get a bite to eat and meet someone Nanamis very close with
‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙
Yuji groans as he stretches his sore muscles, that curse really made him work for that defeat. Thankfully he could do it all by himself and impress Nanami in the process. Speaking of which, where was he?
As if on cue Nanami came from behind a wall, putting his phone in his pocket as he walks over to the bright eyed student.
“Nanamin! Is Ijichi here yet?”
Yuji asks as walks over to Nanami, only for him to shake his head.
“Traffics terrible at this time, it’ll be a bit before he’s here.”
Nanami sighs before looking around then looking at Yuji.
“Are you hungry Itadori?”
“Always!”
Yuji beams as Nanami nods and starts walking into the town nearby.
Yuji followed happily, a smile coming on his face. He’d heard from Ino before how Nanami was a giant foodie and well aware of all the best food places no matter where in Japan they were.
He would drool as he heard his senior talk about the places he was taken, from the hole in the walls to the nicest restaurant. If Nanami took you there, you know it’s going to be great.
“Are you in the mood for anything?”
“Mmm maybe some chicken?”
The corners of Nanamis lips tugged up slightly before facing forward again.
“Well then, I know just the place.”
‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ
The bell above the door jingled slightly as they entered the restaurant. It was a small building cozily tucked away from the cities loud noises.
The place was dimly lit with hanging lights scattered on the ceiling alongside fake pink flowers. The wall had a simple painting of the mountains with a long branch from a tree reaching over the emptiness that the mountain didn’t touch.
Nanami stepped to the hostess stand and waiting patiently, Yuji following quickly behind him.
“Are you sure it’s open?”
Yuji whispers, looking around at the very cute but very empty restaurant. Nanami nodded as he stared at his watch for a couple of seconds before the doors of the kitchen opened. Out came a pretty lady whose eyes went bright as they landed on and Nanami.
“Well hello stranger!”
You giggles as you walks over to the stand, picking up two menus. Nanami took off his glasses and stared at the you fondly before looking at Yuji.
“Itadori, meet the owner of this lovely restaurant.”
“Oh you’re Itadori! It’s a pleasure, I’ve heard so much about you!”
You give him a bright smile as you introduce yourself before sitting them down at a table. Scanning through the menu, you look at Nanami with a smirk.
“I already know what you want, unless you’re planning on finally changing it?”
Nanami let out a small laugh and shook his head as he handed the menu to her.
“Maybe one day.”
He smiles as you rolls your eyes playfully. Yuji eyes moved between you and Nanami as he tries to figure out what’s going on. He’d never seen Nanami smile and laugh this much in such a short amount of time.
He eyed Nanami suspiciously before looking down at the menu, everything sounded so good! How was he gonna pick?
“I suggest the Yakitori. It’s delicious.”
You suggested, as if you could read the young sorcerers mind. Glancing down at where it’s described the Yakitori. All things considered it sounded great.
“In my opinion everything she cooks is great.”
“Oh stop it you!”
Now Yuji was really confused. Nanami? Throwing around compliments? Making a smile and laugh?! Maybe on the way back Nanami was kidnapped and replaced by a curse cuz this was not the stone faced man he knew.
“You ready?”
You called out, pulling him out of his thoughts. Panicking slightly Yuji scanned through the menu.
“Huh-? Oh yeah! I’ll have the Yakitori and a soda please!”
“Good choices!”
You smile at him before turning over to Nanami.
“I’ll be back soon.”
You smiled before you were off again.
‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉ ・ʚ˚̣̣̣͙
You had come back with their dishes and served then, planning on going back to the host stand and waiting but Nanami sweet talked you into staying (a skill Yuji never knew he had). So here you were, talking and laughing at the table as him and Nanami ate their food.
“And this guy had the nerve to act like I didn’t seem him put his hair in! Like sir I was right there when you did it?!”
“The audacity of some people.”
Nanami shakes his head as you tell your story animatedly. Yuji watched you two very curiously as you talked. Usually Nanami wouldn’t have much to say when it came to storytelling, a hum here or a nod there, but with you? Yuji didn’t have a doubt in his mind Nanami was hanging onto every word you said.
“Oh but enough about me, how are you two? Enjoying the food?”
You ask, beaming at the two as they nodded. The second the heavenly smell of your food hit Yujis nose he was chowing down like there was no tomorrow.
“It’s delicious ma’am!”
“I’m so happy you think so! And how about you Mr Nanami? How’s the meal you always get?”
You ask with a knowing smirk. Nanami lets out a small huff as he brings his final spoonful of Unagi to his mouth.
“I’m a man of routine.”
“Oh do I know that.”
You giggle, rolling your eyes. A buzz comes from Nanamis phone that pulls him away from the conversation for a moment. Curious, you and Yuji try to look at the message to no avail. Nanami frowns as he looks at the text, standing up as he fixes his tie.
“Itadori, we have to go. Ijichis out waiting for us.”
You and Yuji frown as he leaves the seats, Yuji wished he could stay longer but sighs as he gets up.
“Bye Ma’am! Thanks for the food!”
Yuji waves as him and Nanami leave. Nanami opens the door, staring back at you as Yuji walks off content. You look back at Nanami with a soft smile as you pick up their dishes.
“Don’t be home too late, ok Kento?”
“I won’t, see you soon dear.”
Shutting the door Nanami catches up with Yuji and they walk in comfortable silence for a moment, at least comfortable for Nanami. Yuji would stare at him periodically, lips pressed tightly together as he contemplated on asking Nanami about the woman before forgetting about it.
After the fifth time Nanami was starting to get annoyed. Looking at Yuji through his glasses, he speaks coolly.
“Itadori, if there’s something on your mind you can tell me.”
Yuji stops in his tracks as he’s called out, face going pale and eyes going wide. Yuji sighs before taking a deep breath. Well here goes nothing.
“It’s really nothing I was just…curious.”
“About?”
“Well it’s just you and that restaurant owner seem really close and I was just a little curious about it?”
Yuji asks nervously as he looked at the older man only to see him with an easy smirk as they walked.
“Is that all? Well if you’re really curious she’s my wife.”
“Oooh! That makes sense!”
Yuji exclaims before happily walking. So he wasn’t imagining things! It makes total sense Nanami would treat his wife so-
Wait,
“Nanami you have a wife?!”
*cursing in cat* 🐈 (part 2 of this)