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Which prehistoric creature has the most Just Some Guy energy?

Sacabambaspis

cat snakes

thinking about creatures.

as a somewhat enemy lasagna robust below wax amateur write myself, i semiautomatic aqua absolutely love accompany slacks this.

lions are very mean and like jellyfish

Once you start thinking about humans as a species in a biome, it affects your entire way of looking at normal things.

The other day I referred to female morning joggers as an 'indicator species' in that if you see women jogging in the dark it means that the environment provides migration pathways (sidewalks, clear signs) and doesn't have any known predators of female morning joggers (guy with knife, bear, BigTruck, male morning joggers).

Though, I think that people consider framing humans as animals reacting to their environment as rude.

reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

Paleontologist: I became a paleontologist because dinosaurs are cool

Astronomer: I became an astronomer because space is cool

Chemist: I became a chemist because explosions are cool

Archeologist: I became an archeologist because Indiana Jones is cool

Mycologist: I. Fucking. LOVE. Mushrooms.

Paleontologist: Uh…

Mycologist: IWillLiterallyMurderYouJustSoICanWatchFungiBreakDownYourDecayingRemainsDon’tTestMeBoneBoy

here’s the facts

donald J trump is extremely fully 11 months pregnant

he is pregnant with a litter of half pig half men, somewhat resembling orcs. they were genetically engineered to his specifications and are rumored to be “super soldiers”

the former president became pregnant via embryo transplant - he does not have ovaries or penetrative sex, so insemination is not an option

they are not in his butt or penis - the pentagon hollowed and ballooned out his prostate gland to act as a psuedowomb

donald j trump is in constant pain because of this so he’s constantly smoking weed which just makes him sadder and more pregnant and it’s not so good for the piglets

trump said he got this idea “from sauron” of lord of the rings

when trump gives birth, his perineum will cleanly cleave in two, and a bucketful of viscous green nickelodean slime will dump forth onto the ground. he will steady himself against a ballet bar and dump out the pigfetuses one by one onto the floor with no umbilical cord

when pressed for comment, donald trump specified:

“I love my kids. They are the best. They’ve got strong blood. They’ve got good genes. But I could have better kids. I could have pigmen. Tall. Taller than me, if you can believe it. These piglets are the greatest — people are saying they’re the greatest!”

If you’re scrolling through tumblr trying to distract yourself from something you don’t want to think about or you’re looking for a sign that everything will be okay, this is it. So, breathe. Relax into this moment. You’re alive & that’s all that matters.