Justateenworkinglifeout - Just A Teen Trying To Figure Out Life

Solangelo is two sides of the same coin.

NOT ABSOLUTEY NOT GOLDEN RETRIEVER x BLACK CAT. NO.

NOT SUNSHINE x GRUMPY EITHER YEAH THATS RIGHT I SEE YOU.

NO!

YOUR ALL WRONG. THEYRE TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN.

I will explain my point,

Nico lost Bianca, the sister he loved dearly when he was young. he got to express that grief and anger.

Will lost all his older siblings (Lee, Micheal, etc) when he was young. he never got to express that grief and anger.

Nico is an extrovert forced to be an introvert because of his trauma

Will is an introvert forced to be an extrovert because of his trauma

Nico is "darkness", but he has "light"

Will is "light" but he has "darkness"

And the coin symbolism in TSATS. One side with Wills Sun tattoo, the other with Hades's helm of darkness.

The sun and the star

Will being the sun, he's warm and can heal but it can also burn and hurt

Nico being the star, He shines in the darkness. "to be a star you must burn"

Do you see what i mean? They're only opposites attract in aesthetics.

there are probably posts explaining in more detail of this, I just wanted to share this,

I heard a litre of chocolate milk can cure almost anything

I'm trying to figure out more about Tumblr right now by posting a bunch of random things, so here's a story from my childhood;

I live really close to a creek, and I spent a lot of time around there as a kid. There was this one specific little pool that had a waterfall feeding into it that my friends and I really loved. It was only a few blocks away, so we'd always go there a bunch on hot summer days.

There were two spots you could use if you wanted to do a jump into the water instead of wading into it. One was a little rocky ledge about 3 feet above some deeper water. It was really perfect to do little plunges off of. 10/10 very fun. The other spot however, was this short and slanted overhang that stood about 6 feet above some shallow rocky water. If you wanted to jump off it you had to make an effort to jump out into the deeper area so you wouldn't break your legs landing on sharp rocks.

One day when I was about 9 or 10, I was at this pool with two of my friends, their dogs, and one of their parents. We were playing around and taking turns jumping off the overhang. I was a fairly unathletic kid, and it always took me a moment to prepare myself to be able to jump out far enough as to not land on the rocks. One of my friends was keeping lookout since the dogs were running around and playing with each other. She gave me the all clear and I ran toward the ledge, but I hesitated just long enough that the dogs had moved from their position farther away and had begun chasing each other. Next thing I know, they come in and sweep my legs out from under me. I hit the ground and start sliding across the rocky surface of the overhang.

Despite this ledge being only about six feet above the water, the rocks underneath were sharp and I was also quite weak and fragile at that age, so that knowledge combined with the adrenaline made me totally convinced I was about to fall to my death. (I probably would've just broken a bone or got a nasty cut or something, but ten year old brain full of adrenaline wasn't thinking the most logically) I was holding onto this tiny plant for dear life while slowly sliding farther down every time I tried to reorient myself to get back up. As a result of all the wet children dripping water all over when jumping off, it was very slippery.

My friend notices how I'm panicking and unable to get up and asks me if I need help. I was a very socially anxious child, and hated the idea of burdening anyone. So as I am sliding down this ledge, convinced I'm about to die, I hear my friend ask if I need help. My dumbass said no. I was lucky that she ignored me and pulled me up by my shoulders regardless. I find it kind of hilarious that despite being absolutely terrified, I still thought it would be better to fall and get injured than just ask for help.

I got out of it with just some scratches on my lower back, and I never told my parents because I knew they would freak out and never let me go there again. Still haven't told them to this day lol.

I don't think my body realizes how healthy my labs say I am

Sometimes I can't tell if I'm being stubborn or nihilistic.

Do I want to stay at school even though I'm sick because I need to prove myself, or because I believe it is just impossible to be able to go home because my parents would dislike it?

My first Tumblr post, a little drawing I did of some of my friend group's favorite Pokémon! It was kind of an impulsive idea so not the best executed, the cheap fineliner I used bled pretty badly on the printer paper, and the proportions are all sorts of wacky, but I still think it's cute.

Confessions from an emotional abuse victim:

#4 Anniversaries

Trauma anniversaries are a hard thing to deal with. They can come from any sort of trauma/traumatic event, but mine are from my hospital stays and large arguments or events with my abuser. The hospital ones definitely suck, but they don't affect my everyday life as much as the abuse ones.

The hospital ones are mostly restricted to the past. I remember how I felt, or certain events that happened. Occasionally I get quick flashes of images in my head of what the place looked like. Yet overall, it's confined to the past and if I can manage the feelings or distract myself, I usually will be able to reduce the suffering until it goes away.

The abuse anniversaries are a whole different type of hell. Unlike the hospital trips, the events from the year or so with my abuser bother me constantly. Year round, 24/7. Not confined to moments of struggle or anniversaries, I get memories and bad thoughts all the time.

Anniversaries take that base level and crank it up to 1,000. My reactions to triggers get more and more violent, usually toward myself, but sometimes toward others. Any little trigger can set off my brain into unimaginable terror. It also affects my thoughts on myself and how I act. I become more startled by people treating me nicely, and just have the feeling that I don't deserve anything other than emotional torment from others.

These anniversaries affect my emotional health and my social life horribly. One specific example is the time I went on a midnight walk with some friends at a sleepover. We passed by my old middle school, where most of the events took place. This was on or near the anniversary of one of the worst fights I had with my abuser. When we got back to my friends house, I was a little stirred, then two hours afterwards, I had a terrible meltdown. Everyone around me was very kind, but it definitely felt horrible.

This time of year, I'm dealing with the anniversary of the day I fully fell into my abuser's trap. I'm questioning all my interactions with others and scanning my every move as to not bother anyone. If someone around me feels bad, or apologizes, or seems off in any way, I put the blame onto myself.

I wish I could frame this one as a more positive, uplifting, never-give-up type of post, there isn't really a way I can do that in my current stage of recovery. I guess all I can say is; trauma anniversaries are valid triggers, and if you know a friend or loved one is approaching a hard time of year for them, be kind and supportive. Trauma affects many people in many ways, and not everyone experiences it the same way, but the best thing to do is show kindness and compassion.