Justateenworkinglifeout - Just A Teen Trying To Figure Out Life

I just need someone to hold me while I cry sometimes. Crying/panicking alone makes me feel too much like I'm going to die from suffocation. I just need someone to hug me and tell me it's gonna be okay.

I don't know yall, but I genuinely wish you the best of luck in your endeavors! We're in this shit together...

Adults are always so concerned about me doing extracurriculars.

But-but you have bad grades because you don't do your homework!

Hate to break it to you, but that homework wouldn't be done even if I didn't have rehearsal

But you keep complaining about being in pain!

Yes, and I handle it. I'd still be in pain anyways.

But you aren't sleeping or eating enough!

True, but I'm working on it. It would be the same if I weren't in theatre

But you obviously shouldn't be doing this thing you like because you're a mess and you have other things that you should do!

Look. If I weren't doing theatre or extra choir stuff, I still would be mostly the same. I wouldn't do my busy work homework that I don't need to do to learn. I would be in pain having to move around and do things and live my life. I would have problems with self care, and mental health, and schoolwork.

But one thing that would be different? I wouldn't be as happy.

Theatre and singing have always been the best things in my life. I've made so many friends and become so much more confident in myself. I feel so amazing getting to do all these things. The only thing taking that away would accomplish is making me miserable.

I wouldn't be focusing more on my schoolwork. I'd be focusing more on the big chunk of my soul that was just ripped out. I wouldn't be magically cured of my physical and mental ailments. I would just have no reason to get out of bed in the morning anymore, or do anything productive or meaningful.

Trying to take away my happiness is not an effective solution. That's how I end up back in and out of the hospital every two months.

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

This is one of said poems. Written in a week-long writing class for the prompt 'what I want my words to do to you' have read it to a crowd twice, both times at least one person cried. Could also be my naturally sad yelpy tone though idk.

Somehow almost all my poems make people cry. So either I'm:

One: a bad poet but my stories are sad enough that I can make people cry through bad poetry

Two: a good poet with stories that are just kinda sad but can be manipulated with words into beautiful poems that make people cry

Three: a good poet with sad stories that are enhanced through poetry to make people cry

Or four: a bad poet with stories that aren't sad and people are just crying because they feel bad that I'd choose to read them bad poetry

Either way, every time I read a poem to an audience, it seems like at least one person will cry or tell me they almost cried and had to actively hold themselves back.

Don't know exactly what to make of this. My poems are usually about my bad life experiences though, so I guess that probably plays a role.

Within one day of getting a fitness watch, it has:

1. Called me out on my sleeping habits

2. Shown how I barely move all day

3. Buzzed multiple times because my heart rate got up to like, 160.

I imagine there will be more things to come from this.

Did I have to rush my essay? Yes. Did I turn it in 10 minutes before midnight when it was due? Yes. Did I proofread it? No. Did I probably fuck it up at least a bit? Yeah. Did I get a good grade? We'll see.

But at least I didn't use AI. I wrote a good, genuine, shitty essay, instead of getting a program to write a shitty essay for me that would probably be easily flagged as AI.

WRITE SHITTY ESSAYS!!! A BAD GRADE FROM TRYING IS BETTER THAN A ZERO FROM GETTING CAUGHT USING AI!!!