Justateenworkinglifeout - Just A Teen Trying To Figure Out Life

'ao3 needs a like and dislike button'

what you need, my algorithm-rotten minded friend, is a grip

Tired but the migraine meds my castmate shared with me earlier had caffeine so I'm still awake. At least the migraine isn't as bad anymore. Better to be awake from caffeine than awake from pain.

Someone should make one of those 'only eating food from (1 or 5) star restaurants for a day!' Youtube videos but for three star restaurants so people will assume it means Michellin stars. Little does they know it is really just referring to regular star reviews given on yelp and google and such. Then they click on it and end up just watching a guy run around to the most mediocre restaurants in their area.

— the battle of the labyrinth (pjo) // love in paradise (epic)

Manifesting that somebody Does It before the end of the year

Confessions from an emotional abuse victim:

#2 Tough Love

Recently, I've been finding myself thinking about the concept of 'tough love'. That is one of the terms I used to describe the abuse and manipulation before I fully accepted that I had been abused. But the thing is, what he did was not love.

Love is not being judgemental. Love is not being brutally 'honest' about someone else's flaws because they should fix them.

Love is making sure someone is cared for even if they don't ask for it or are a bit apprehensive. Love is when my friend noticed I was acting a bit different and asked me when I last drank something. After I told her I didn't know, she told me I should drink something. I refused and said I was fine, but she still went and bought me a bottle of water and made me drink it in front of her.

I feel like the term 'tough love' isn't really a term that should be used in the first place though. Even though there are situations like that, where it seemingly fits the term and is actually okay, it's still a slippery slope into justifying abuse.

If people would point out that my abuser was being really harsh to me, I could say it was just because he cared. It was because he wanted me to improve as a person so I could do better. His punches and kicks and yelling and degrading were just his way of saying he cares. It's 'tough love'. This term helped catch me, and I'm sure many others as well, into the cycle of justifying the actions of my abuser. It let me believe it was my fault for feeling hurt from what he did.

I think it might be time to retire this concept. Yes, sometimes you need to be a little pushy to make sure someone you love is cared for, but even then, you still should be kind. Honestly, that doesn't need its own term. It's just being caring. We don't need any more ways for victims caught in the throes of abuse to try to justify it.