Work Today: Balancing Caution Tape On My Head And Aggressively Sniffing Trees

A person could use a cuddle session. It’s me. I’m a person.

Everyone needs to calm down when the plane lands. You will get off, don't worry! I know the buckle seatbelt sign turned off, and that makes you very excited, but you don't have to jump up and push your way through the aisle yet. The door hasn't even opened! Wait your turn! Complaining and pushing each other won't make the process go any faster

It must be known

this blog hates donald trump

Look how many people hate him. I’m pretty damn happy about that 😁😁😁😁😁😁

You know what needs to stop? Premium subscriptions

I ALREADY HAVE A SUBSCRIPTION, I PAY FOR AN ACCOUNT

GIVE ME THE ACCESS

THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT

Premium subscriptions are Bullshit and entirely exist because of greed and I Hate It

WE ARE NOT DOING THE RESURGENCE OF MASK-OFF ACEPHOBIA. I KNOW IT NEVER TRULY WENT AWAY BUT WE ARE NOT POPULARIZING HATING ON ACES. NO, NOT EVEN THOSE ONES. NONE OF THEM. WE ARE NOT DOING ACEPHOBIA AGAIN.

You know, at this point in my life I have heard about plastic surgery, seen before and after pictures, watched it be talked about on TV shows

However

I do not actually know how it works, and at this point I am too afraid to ask

Me: walking through the halls of the hotel, carrying 15 tortillas, 4 shirts, a mostly empty jar of peanut butter, a pair of ripped trousers, a bag of bags, and a skull

Me: wow I hope I don't run into anyone because this would not be easy to explain

If I am thinking about literally anything, but get distracted or sidetracked and forget the Thought, I am completely incapable of moving on or doing anything until I Find the Thought

I don't know why. It's like there's a little thorn in my brain, because I Know I wasn't able to finish the Thought, so the mind thorn will not cease to pester me

It grows larger with each passing moment until I am able to Recall the Thought by backtracking everything I was thinking

I am a slave to the Mind Thorn

Me @ myself every morning: I need you to understand that work is vital to your survival, and you must get out of bed post haste

And yet I keep replying with "is survival really that important tho"

You know, I think the further we get into The Future the less I understand

And I'm not even talking about technology or medical advancements because that's a whole other thing

What I mean is

I legitimately cannot tell when things are satire anymore

Is this person just insane? Is it a joke? Do they need to see someone? Have they always been like this? Is it sarcasm?

It both shocks and horrifies me constantly