:3

How the 104th cadet corps babysits

(Plus bonus Pieck and Porco)

Eren: Comes about 10 minutes late but says the parents can take $10 off to make up for it. Gets the kids to watch Transformers while he talks to Mikasa on the phone for an hour and a half, but keeps the kids in the corner of his eye so they don’t run off. Orders buffalo ranch pizza. When the kids show him a TikTok of someone shotgunning a beer, he scolds them before showing them how to do it themselves with cans of soda and telling them to not tell anyone he did that. Charges $40 (originally $50).

Mikasa: Brings 3-4 balls of yarn and teaches the kids how to knit while she puts on Pride and Prejudice. One of the kids takes a ball of yarn and starts pretending they’re a cat so she goes along with it and they all start playing kitties and puppies. Somehow she manages to get all of the kids in bed right before the parents come home and lets them keep the “knitted scarves” they made as a little gift. Charges $150 but it’s worth it to have the kids tuckered out and nothing messed up.

Armin: Brings some books to read to the kids. They range from Dr. Seuss to the Great Illustrated Classics version of HG Wells’ The Time Machine. LOVES answering questions with questions because he wants the kids to learn critical thinking at a young age but doesn’t want to bore them. Plays baby sensory videos or How it’s Made to get the kids to fall asleep when they refuse to go to bed. Charges $60

Annie: Doesn’t jump at the idea of babysitting but agrees to when the parents offer $50 AND a gift card to Target (she just ran out of face wash). Only babysits older kids and sits on her phone most of the time, but still makes sure they get their homework done before they can do their thing. Gives “relationship advice” (“all boys are terrible. I’m just dating Armin because he was lucky enough to be an exception”). Yells at the kids to go to bed and they do because she’s scary when she yells.

Reiner: The kids are obsessed with how strong he is and beg him to power lift him like they’re dumbbells and he absolutely LIVES for it. Plays Assassins Creed and Mario Kart and helps the kids beat a tough level in Portal 2. Has a food fight with popcorn but after making sure they’re all in bed he goes down to vacuum it back up and make sure the basement is reasonably clean. Charges $60.

Bertoldt: Absolutely CRACKED at Fortnite and Call of Duty and will destroy opponents that underestimate him because of his score. Does bad karaoke of Michael Bolton love ballads so the kids can make fun of him. Shows them all sorts of cheesy 80’s music so they can surprise their parents with songs they listened to as kids/teenagers. Charges $100 because he brought his own karaoke machine.

Marco: HUGE Marvel fan and gets into a long-winded discussion about comics and the MCU vs DC with the kids. Does a whole Marathon of the Sam Raimi Spiderman trilogy (his favorites), then tells the kids all about the meaning of who Spiderman is and how the biggest appeal of the character is that “anyone can wear the mask and anyone can be an everyday hero just like Peter Parker and Miles Morales”. Tries to refuse pay but the parents insist on giving him $150 because the kids love him so much.

Historia: Brings a whole tea party set and raids the kids closets to do a princess and knights fashion show. Does nails (outside or in the garage so nail polish doesn’t get on the carpet) and tells the little girl(s) that they can be knights and the little boy(s) that they can be the princes to be saved if that’s what they want. Talks all about how Ymir is her knight in shining armor. Charges $100.

Ymir: Does not like kids. Does not want kids. Was tricked into babysitting but once she realized she was alone with them, she freaks out and called Historia to come over and help her. Steals a couple white claws from the fridge in the garage and hopes the parents don’t notice. When Historia finally comes, she lets her take over and sits on the couch scrolling on TikTok. Tells the parents the kids were good, takes $20, and never babysits again.

Sasha: Brought a kid-friendly cookbook and makes the kids a big fishbowl to drink out of while watching Ratatouille (it’s filled with sprite, blue Gatorade, and Swedish fish). She bakes cookies while they watch and secretly eats a ton of cookie dough before the kids even know there’s extra. Gets the kids to sing the clean-up song after dinner and basically tricks them into getting the kitchen in perfect order before the parents come home.

Connie: BY FAR the best babysitter for rowdy and stubborn kids. He has little siblings so he knows all the ins and outs of dealing with babies, toddlers, and preteens. Lets the kids do just enough stuff they’re “not allowed to do” so they feel like he’s the cool babysitter, but also flawlessly tricks them into doing their nighttime routine to a T in record time. Charges $200 for the night but it’s worth every penny to come home and they’re all in bed sound asleep, freshly bathed with their teeth brushed, and dinner finished with a spotless kitchen.

Jean: Brings a whole backpack full of cheap art supplies and construction paper for the kids to play with to stay occupied, but he gets carried away and starts “critiquing” their work in a posh accent as if he were an upscale art curator (it’s literally fingerpaint). Lets the kids ride on his back like a horse (duh) and pretends he’s a giant so they can attack him with toy swords. Absolutely LOVES when one of the kids has a crush on him and hides it poorly because he thinks it’s adorable. Charges $60 for the art supplies and gas, nothing for his time.

Pieck: THE cool big sister every kid wants. Crawls around on all fours and lets the kids ride on her back as well (obviously). Lets the kids swim in the pool at night and plays mermaids with them until the parents come home, then helps the parents get the kids to bed. Charges $75 for the night and offers to help for the kids’ class pool party (she just likes playing mermaids and wants free access to a pool)

Porco: 15 minutes late but it’s because he stopped at dollar general to get each kid’s favorite snack. Takes the kids to see the Minecraft movie (sneaking the snacks in) and then they spin donuts in the back of the parking lot in his clapped out BMW 335i. Gets Taco Bell with the kids afterwards on the way home and wrestles them into bed. Charges for the movie tickets but covers the Taco Bell on his own dime (he had a Visa gift card that Bert gave him months ago that he found under the drivers seat).

I recently told an ao3 writer that I keep going back to their 260k word unfinished slowburn checking for updates for the last 2 years. They said I'm like that puppy that waits for his dead owner at the train station every day.

That's the realest thing anyone's told me online, I ain't even mad.

the generational gap between me and the people my age who use chat gpt

he's thinking abt me btw

pose from horikoshi's hawks official art (i take no credit ‼️)

can i say something can i say something can i just say o n e little thing i swear upon god i just need to say something

warning hcs ahead

since titan shifters heal so quickly, i feel like they cant get drunk or get sick. like zeke who smokes but his lungs never change or get damaged over time. i hc that sometimes porco pieck n colt drink tg here n there, but colt is the only one who ends up black out drunk.

they can feel some sort of sting or burn, but it quickly goes away. like captain america ykwim??? reiner who has to remind his mom he can’t get sick, but that doesn’t stop him from almost freezing this arms off. armin who’s not used to not being sick during flu season since he was always first to fall ill.

& when the power of the titans wears off, they forget they can’t heal like they used to. though, pieck doesn’t drink anymore since it reminds her too much of her fallen comrades. armin who swears to mikasa he’s fine but he can’t breathe thru his nose & annie who doesn’t know what do to when reiner gets her sick.

i love them sm but i lowk dont know how it would work lol

reibert cats ≽^•⩊•^≼

ship of theseus

with titan regeneration, at what point is the shifter no longer the person they once were?

have eren's cheeks been ripped of their flesh and regrown so many times that they have never once been held by his mother?

has reiner cut his palms so many times that the skin on them has never touched bertholdt?

do porco's hands remember being held by his late brother?

is armin even the boy he was before shiganshina?

but it isn't all bad. the regeneration heals more than just physical wounds

annie has only ever been held by her father in a comforting way, since she's no longer the little girl he pushed too hard

zeke, at the time of his death, had never been violated by marley. his hands were not the ones forced to activate the rumbling.

Yall this took forever to finish. So glad I actually decided to continue it instead of abandoning it in my drafts🎀🗿 I love this brush so much and have been using it for a while now, I might make more arts like this occasionally bc they take forever.

Other than that, pray for me yall🙏🏽or help me manifest bc things have not been going well for me for a while. I just have not had any luck this past yr. Anyways I love berumin and the handful of us berumin truthers out here (🤭you know who you are🗣️)

😭 berumin yapping below⬇️🗣️‼️⚠️

I think this is my first actual Berumin art, wherein it’s obvious💀 all of the other ones I’ve made of these two are so all over the place and parts of aus I made, but this one is just something I did for fun a yr ago and left the sketch alone(it was so close to being abandoned fr) until I got back to it two weeks ago and decided to pull through. At first I was just gonna do a simple lineart and got carried away and then had to go all out to make everything match and make sense. It rly was a process doing the limbs and having to change a lot of the posing.

Idk what it was but I added those nails to armin on one hand and had to do it for ALL of them, it just rly played into the demon aspect so well I couldn’t resist. This originally didn’t have all the smaller details and I rly just made a lot of it along the way.

I rly liked thinking of this dynamic where Bert is more gentle/pure? And Armin is more deceptive and controlling? Idrk how to describe how I imagined it in my mind when I first made this but that’s the gist of it. Armin at first had a curious expression than the sly one he has here in the old sketches, and there was even a very rough sketch version where he’s an angel instead but I didn’t find it that appealing as a concept and I remember that sketch being so frustrating to get the wings right and I think that’s why I dropped this drawing at first.

Anyways 🗣️🗣️I LOVE BERT and MIN🗣️🗣️🎀🐢🐚

I actually like how ambiguous I left the context of this because there rly is a lot of possibilities this could go story-wise. Like, does Armin appear to Bertolt physically and everyone can see him but he’s only befriending Bert for demonic(?) purposes or is Armin manifested by Bertolt subconsciously. Is Armin a representation of Bert’s corruption? Who knows? I honestly couldn’t tell you but that’s probably why I was happy to make this more detailed than my usual stuff.

Other than that I do like the idea that perhaps Armin was a fallen angel that was casted out and became a demon? Something like that. Maybe Bert became a man of the cloth as a result of shame and guilt over something he did and that mirrors Armin’s fall from grace in how they both have to mask who they used to be???? Maybe none of this is real and this is Bert’s divine punishment in purgatory? What if there was a universe in which Bert wronged Armin in someway and Bert’s psyche takes a hit because of it?

It’s possible this isn’t even Armin but who knows?

Yall maybe I’m cooking with this actually.🤭👀👩🏽‍🦯🗿

What do you perceive this as and what is your take from just this alone? I kinda wanna know how everyone else would interpret them in this👁️👁️😳🥺🙏🏽🎀

Should I do another version of this but with concepts around demonology or something? Idk.

Btw I plan on finishing another berumin drawing I started last yr ,but based on a rly good berumin fic I read, I just haven’t gotten back to it.