Hanif Abdurraqib Interviewed By Ruth Awad: Joy Is Not Promised To You

How to Cope with Jealous Feelings

1. Understand what jealousy is. It’s a mixture of fear and anger – usually the fear of losing someone who’s important to you, and anger at the person who is “taking over”. Recognise that it’s a destructive and negative emotion - and often nothing good comes out of it.

2. Try and figure out why you’re feeling jealous. Is it related to some past failure that is undermining your ability to trust? Are you feeling anxious and insecure? Do you suffer from low self-esteem, or fear of abandonment?

3. Be honest with yourself about how your jealousy affects other people. Do friends or partners always have to justify their actions and thoughts, or always report on where they were, or who they were with? That kind of pressure is destructive in the end, and puts a strain on relationships.

4. Find the courage to tackle your feelings. Decide to question your jealousy every time it surfaces. That will enable you to take positive steps to manage your feelings in a healthier and more constructive way. Some possible questionsto ask yourself include: “Why am I jealous about this?”; “What exactly is making me feel jealous?”; “What or who am I afraid of losing?”; “Why do I feel so threatened?”

5. Work on changing any false beliefs that might be fueling your jealousy. Start this process by identifying the underlying belief, for example “If X leaves me, then I won’t have any friends”; “If Y doesn’t love me then no-one will ever want or love me”. Understand, that beliefs are often false – and that they can be changed through choice. If you change your belief, you change the way you feel.

6. Learn from your jealousy. Jealousy can help understand ourselves better – and teach us important lessons. For example, it’s natural to feel frightened when a relationship is new, and you don’t yet feel secure. This is normal and commonplace! Also, some people DO have a roving eye, and they may lack commitment in the longer term. Better you know that now, than later on.

7. Work on accepting and trusting yourself. That makes it easier to trust others, too, and lessens our tendency to feel jealous of others.

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georgia.jelly on insta

“They Do Not Exist” (1974) a Palestinian film by Mustafa Abu ali  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WZ_7Z6vbsg

Perfumes for the  Bombshell Scholar/Student/Librarian

Jazz Club by Maison Martin Margiela

1888 Xerjoff

Library by Solstice Scents

Milano Caffe by Abdes Salaam Attars Perfumes

Whispers in the Library by Maison Martin Margiela

O, Unknown! by Imaginary Authors

Coco Eau de Toilette by Chanel

Oeillet Pourpre by Guerlain 

Nirvana Bourbon by Elizabeth and James

Zapotec Bride from Juchitán de Zaragoza - Pieter Hugo

Yet I am in love with words. They are doves falling out of the ceiling.

“Be careful of words, even the miraculous ones. For the miraculous we do our best, sometimes they swarm like insects and leave not a sting but a kiss. They can be as good as fingers. They can be as trusty as the rock you stick your bottom on. But they can be both daisies and bruises. Yet I am in love with words. They are doves falling out of the ceiling. They are six holy oranges sitting in my lap. They are the trees, the legs of summer, and the sun, its passionate face…” — Anne Sexton, a fragment from “Words”, from the book “The Awful Rowing Toward God” (Houghton Mifflin Co; March 1, 1975) (via Alive on all Channels)

Maybe I am just a crazy bitch with good pussy

Dozens of Historic Mexican Cookbooks Are Now Available Online

The University of Texas San Antonio's vast collection makes traditional Mexican and Mexican-American cooking accessible

The oldest Mexican cookbook in the University of Texas at San Antonio’s (UTSA) collection was never meant for public consumption. Handwritten in 1789 by Doña Ignacita, a woman who probably served as the kitchen manager for a well-to-do family, the manuscript includes recipes for such specialties as “hidden vegetable stew,” or potaje escondido, and an orange-hued soup called zopa de naranja.

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“I’ve had students in tears going through these, because it’s so powerful to see that connection with how their family makes certain dishes and where they originated,” UTSA Special Collections Librarian Stephanie Noell tells Atlas Obscura. “I want anybody with an internet connection to be able to see these works.”

Hawaii became the first state legislature to call for permanent ceasefire in Gaza

Common Dreams

In 24-1 Vote, Hawaii State Senate Demands Permanent Cease-Fire in Gaza

"Hawaii can be proud of its leadership role in carrying the movement to force an immediate, permanent cease-fire in Gaza to the 'state' leve