Katindeed - The Santanic And Holy Katherine Indeed

Jashtober day 5: Angel

What have I done? I shot at him. I had to. His assessments. His methods. The vile trite he spews, then turns around and acts like it’s wisdom. He claims he will pull us into the light ,yet I see where this path leads in the end. Either the body dies from the soul’s exhaustion or the soul dies in order to keep the body going. Leaving an empty cadaver with only computer parts left inside to keep its joints from rusting and its eyes still blinking. I’d been practicing for weeks. First I attempted echolocation (I got surprisingly good, but not shooting a gun accurately, good). Then I tried shooting a dummy point blank (I realized after a few days of testing that method, mind would totally just smack it out of my hand). So I finally decided on just shooting it in the general direction of his voice. It did not work. So I’m stuck in this hole. Mind despises me more than ever and I’ve lost soul’s trust. What have I done? 

Finished version somehow looks even better than the wip

Drawing Mine and @gremlin-numero-uno (my wife) ponysonas :3 (WIP)

As someone who has similar hair to Chonny I appreciate him repping it.

Is also makes me want to cosplay as Heart.

Once again not a great drawing but I like the idea that mind and soul signed heart's blindfold the same way you would a cast

Me for real,

Her name is Emily and she's the only way I can sleep now 🥰

sad? no...mind with blahaj

Love you

writing and transness my two favorite worldly desires.

I don’t know why I always gravitate back to writing about being trans. On one hand it is quite the unique and different experience and I would add it’s fair to say it’s pretty all encompassing in my life whether I like it or not but it’s not like I don’t have anything else in my life to write about. I could write about my weird need to be independent or how differently I act by myself versus with even my closest companions. I do try to write about those things but then I get distracted and before I know it a week has passed but something weird happens when I write about being part of this strange little group. I’m able to let the words just flow out and almost nothing could distract me from finishing. If I had to guess why this happens I would presume it’s because of how inescapable it has felt in this point of life. I’ve barely just completely grasped my transness about a year ago (though I've been questioning since 10) and I’ve only really toyed with my name which didn’t take long considering I’ve always been weirdly drawn to the name Katherine. Recently for the first time I've had good enough friends I can tell and they’ve been wildly helpful yet still I feel as if I haven’t had enough initiative in a year of fully accepting myself. For make-up I’ve tried lip-stick once when my family were somewhere for a few days and I’ve been doing my nails more frequently but that's about it. I shave my face almost everyday to keep it at bay, but I don’t really have the tools for shaving anywhere else. And for clothes I have done zilch. It’s not like I haven’t done these things out of lack of effort, it's just hard to do them when in a packed house, when in constant fear, and having a lack of expendable income in a slew of more important expenses. With all this writing is my way to express these feelings I can’t in daily life. I’ve never been adequate at drawing and while I have been doodling more, I don’t think I care to really put a ton of work into it. So with the physical medium out of the way that leaves words. I’ve always been very creative with a lot of thoughts yet I’ve never had a great way to express it. I always thought I hated writing. Always forced to write a long drawl of something I truly feel passionless for. The odd free writes were always fun but the piles of essays and grammar mistakes were always there to make sure I always hated writing. Thank the stars, that recently for the first time I had a teacher who made me realize the joy that can come from writing when you care. Sadly that was last year's teacher but the essays don’t feel as grueling to get through and when we’re doing a paragraph on occasion they feel fun. Now with both these discoveries of late, both from last year interesting enough, I have been going through a bit of a change in how i am. For the first time in my life there is a very clear goal to why I should keep going to get out of this house. 1) so I can be who I want to be 2) so I can write. I've promised myself at the very least I’ll try to get myself there. No matter the obstacle no matter the strife I have to try because in the end memento mori.

I did not know I needed Chonny and Heathers

*throws this* HEATHERS AU LMAO Really just for an excuse to draw to draw them in outfits that realistically none of them aside from Stratos would WEAR LOL

Also a ghost Stratos in Chandlers bathrobe lmao. @socialc1imb is the main proprietor to this by HER THREATENING TO GHOSTIFY SOUL ANYWAY LMAO

This is a fucking nightmare

They're right there

It's weird being perfect and the main character and probably a God or something, but I got to wait for my character growth before then. God, you guys don't know how lucky you got it