synopsis : you crushed on him for months, watched him dodge every advance like you were malware. so you dressed up a little, played a little dumberâand now heâs got you spread out in pixels and moaning in surround sound. worst part? you kinda want him to do it again.
tags/cw â masturbation, degradation, praise kink, dacryphilia, marking, overstimulation, explicit language, filming, voyeurism, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, squirting, rough sex, dirty talk, power dynamics, obsession, lingerie, virgin weeb satoru, questionable but effective way of seducing ur crush. 13k wc, 18+ only, minors DNI.
a/n : plz don't nitpick about how a fashion vlog shouldn't be like that bc that's the point. toru doesn't know the difference because all he watches is 2d girls
the compressorâs peaking again.
satoru squints at the waveform, drags the threshold down two decibels, then listens back to the same three-second clip of voiceover for the tenth time. itâs a podcast intro, some wannabe influencer droning about mindfulness. he doesnât care. heâs just here to make it sound less like it was recorded in a bathroom.
âsounds like shit,â he mutters, even though itâs clean. crisp. perfectly balanced.
it doesnât feel right. nothing ever does. he tweaks the bitrate, checks the export codec, wonders if he should build a custom ffmpeg preset. maybe write a quick script to batch clean all future filesâsomething to shave off a few milliseconds of his life. his fingers hover over the keyboard, itching for efficiency, for control.
ping.
discord overlay glows in the corner of his ultrawide monitor, a neon-green intrusion on his meticulously organized desktop. he freezes. the notification pulses like a heartbeat.
you.
he stares at it, lets it sit there like itâs radioactive. doesnât even remember keeping you added. your usernameâsomething stupid with a heart emojiâfeels like a splinter under his skin. he shouldâve purged his contacts months ago, but here you are, slipping through the cracks of his digital fortress.
hey. remember when u edited our project? can u help me trim some vids plsâŚ
his jaw tightens. of course youâd ask now, at 2 a.m., when heâs neck-deep in audio plugins and caffeine. his fingers hover over the keyboard, poised to dismiss you.
âno,â he types, then erases it.
âwhat kind of vids,â he tries, but deletes that too. too eager. too curious.
after a solid twenty-five seconds of overthinking, he finally sends:
i guess. send what you have.
he leans back in his chair, the leather creaking under his weight. his room is a cave of glowing screens and scattered energy drink cans, the hum of his overclocked pc the only sound besides his own shallow breathing. he shouldnât care. youâre just another art student, another distraction. but his pulse betrays him, thudding a little too hard in his throat.
flashback.exe
he hated group projects. despised them. a bunch of useless art students in overpriced streetwear, trying to make films with no understanding of pacing or continuity.
theyâd fumble with premiere pro like it was rocket science, leaving him to clean up their shaky cuts and mismatched audio tracks. he always ended up doing 90% of the work, and he preferred it that way. control was his god, and he worshipped it.
but you were different.
not better. just... a different kind of stupid.
you showed up late to the editing suite, glitter pens spilling out of your bag, heart stickers plastered on your water bottle like a middle schoolerâs diary. you called the lav mic a âweird nipple thingâ and giggled when he glared at you. once, you spilled your lip gloss on the soundboard, leaving a sticky pink smear he had to scrub off with isopropyl alcohol. another time, you asked if uploading to drive made your data heavier, and he almost threw you out.
but.
you let him do whatever he wanted.
you didnât hover or micromanage. you just sat there, cross-legged on a swivel chair, watching him cut scenes like it was magic. you leaned over his shoulder, close enough that he could feel the warmth of your breath, your wide eyes reflecting the glow of the timeline.
âwhoa... you made it feel like a real movie,â you whispered, like heâd just parted the red sea.
you smelled like something artificial. strawberries, maybe, or some overpriced body mist from a mall kiosk. your hair was always tied with a ribbonâpink, blue, sometimes yellow, always obnoxiously bright.
he didnât care.
he told himself he didnât.
but he remembered. every fucking detail.
the zip file lands in his downloads with an obnoxious ka-chunk, snapping him out of the memory. he doesnât rush. just opens it like itâs any other favor, like his heart isnât clawing at his ribcage. the folder name stares back at him: âpls help <3â
typical.
he clicks it open, expecting shaky iphone clips of cafes and shopping hauls. maybe some cringe tiktok dance you think is cute. heâs ready to hate it, to scoff at your lack of framing or shitty lighting.
but thenâ
you appear on screen.
not just appear. you perform.
youâre biting your lip, laughing into the lens like itâs your lover. wearing something stupidly shortâa skirt that barely qualifies as fabric, hugging your thighs like itâs painted on. you spin around in front of your mirror, the camera catching every angle, every curve, like youâre being filmed for someone else. someone whoâd appreciate it.
you pose. cock your head. giggle. the sound is loud, breathy, smiling when you speak. âdo you think this is too short?â you ask, tugging the hem of your skirt, your fingers lingering just a second too long.
he blinks.
backs the video up three seconds.
watches again.
your laugh echoes through his headphones, a little distorted, a little too close. he pretends heâs checking the audio, tells himself itâs for sync, that heâs just doing his job. but his eyes are glued to the screen, to the way your skirt rides up as you twirl, to the flash of skin that makes his breath catch.
he watches again.
his mouth is dry, his tongue heavy against his teeth. your skirt flips up higher this time, and you gaspâlike youâre surprised, like you didnât mean to show that much. but you donât stop filming. donât cover up. just... laugh, a sound that curls around his spine and sinks into his gut.
he doesnât even realize his hand is moving until itâs there, slipping under the waistband of his sweatpants. his fingers brush against himself, and he hisses, the contact sharp and sudden. heâs already half-hard, his body betraying him before his brain can catch up. the room feels too warm, the hum of his pc too loud, but he doesnât care. he canât care.
he rewinds the clip again, pauses on the frame where youâre mid-spin, your skirt flared just enough to show the curve of your ass. his hand wraps around his cock, slow at first, tentative, like heâs testing how far heâll let himself go. the texture of his own skin is rough, familiar, but itâs not enough. not when itâs you on the screen, laughing like you know heâs watching, like youâre daring him to lose control.
he strokes himself, a tight, deliberate rhythm, his thumb brushing over the tip where heâs already leaking. the sensation jolts him, makes his hips twitch in the chair.
he imagines itâs your hand, your fingersâsmall, soft, probably clumsy, but eager. he pictures you kneeling between his legs, looking up at him with those wide eyes, your lips parted like they are in the video, glossy and pink and begging to be kissed. or more.
the video plays on. youâre bending over now, adjusting your hair in the mirror, your skirt riding up to expose the thin strip of your underwear. he groans, low and guttural, his hand moving faster.
the sound of your voiceâteasing, playfulâfills his headphones, and he closes his eyes for a moment, letting it wash over him. âdo you think this is too short?â you say again, and he wants to answer, wants to growl that itâs perfect, that youâre perfect, that heâd rip it off you if he could.
his grip tightens, his strokes growing erratic. heâs not gentle with himselfânever is. itâs all pressure and friction, chasing the edge as fast as he can.
his free hand fumbles with the mouse, scrubbing the timeline back to the moment you gasp, to the split-second flash of your thighs. he loops it, the clip stuttering in time with his breathing, with the slick sound of his hand working himself over. his cock throbs, hot and heavy, and he imagines itâs youâyour warmth, your wetness, the way youâd probably whimper if he touched you like this.
heâs close. too close.
his vision blurs at the edges, his pulse hammering in his ears. he shouldnât be doing this, shouldnât be jerking off to your stupid video like some desperate creep, but the shame only makes it worse, makes it sharper.
he pictures you catching him, walking in right now, seeing him with his pants down and his hand on his dick. would you laugh? would you blush? would you get on your knees andâ
he comes with a choked gasp, his hips bucking up into his hand. itâs messy, spilling over his fingers, onto the hem of his shirt. his chest heaves, his head tilting back against the chair as the aftershocks ripple through him. your laugh loops in his headphones, oblivious to the wreck heâs become.
itâs filthy. itâs desperate.
ten minutes later, heâs cleaned himself up, his hands steady again as he trims the file like a good little editor. he cuts out the shaky parts, stabilizes the footage, adjusts the audio so your voice doesnât clip. itâs clinical now, professional, like he didnât just fall apart to the sight of you. he names it something sterile: âvlog_cut_1.mov.â
he exports it twice. once normally, for you. once... not. the second version is raw, unedited, every twirl and giggle preserved in crisp 4k. it gets copied to a different folder, buried in a directory labeled âshader_study_2022.â he tells himself itâs in case you need a re-edit. a backup. thatâs all.
when you text back:
thank u!! lol i owe uuu :3
he stares at the message, his thumb hovering over the keyboard. his heartâs still racing, a faint tremor in his fingers.
he types âanytime :)â and erases it. sends:
np.
what he doesnât say: he rewatched the part where you bend over six times. he had his dick in his hand by the second loop. he renamed the close-up to âtest_render_asscloseup.movâ and hid it behind three layers of subfolders.
he doesnât even like tiktok girls.
heâs into 2d, girls with big swords and bigger tits, drawn in sharp lines and impossible proportions. he once bought a dakimakura because the shipping came with a free pin, and itâs still shoved in his closet, one corner stained from a late-night mistake. real girls are messy, unpredictable, too much work. but now?
heâs thinking about the way your laugh dipped when you turned around, the way it caught in your throat like you were nervous. the way you looked into the lens like you knew someone was watching.
someone like him.
next day, you walk in like a fucking weapon.
pink fuzzy shrug, low-rise jeans that sit dangerously low on your hips, a sliver of stomach peeking out like itâs 2004. your hairâs up in a ribbonâpink, of course, swaying as you move. youâre all glitter and confidence, a walking distraction in a lecture hall full of tired students and flickering projectors.
he scoffs under his breath. âtacky.â
but his heartâs pounding, a traitor in his chest. his fingers twitch against the edge of his laptop, betraying the calm heâs trying to project. you slide into the seat two rows ahead and twist around, grinning like a cat, like you know something he doesnât.
your eyes catch his for a split second, bright and teasing, and he forces himself to look away.
he opens his laptop, types random garbage into a terminal windowâsome half-baked python script he doesnât even care about. he runs a fake compile just to feel busy, to drown out the way his blood is rushing too fast.
you lean over to whisper to the girl next to you, your laugh spilling out, loud and careless. your hair tosses, and he swears he catches the scent of your perfume drifting past in invisible waves. saccharine, overwhelming, like strawberries dipped in sugar syrup.
his brain short-circuits. he snaps his headphones on, the cord tangling in his haste. not to listen to music. not to block you out.
to replay your giggle.
heâd isolated the audio last night, cleaned it up with a high-pass filter, boosted the mids to make it crystal clear. exported it as a high-quality .wav, tucked it into a folder labeled âaudio_ref.â he tells himself itâs for study, just good reference for future projects. but he loops it now, the sound of your laugh layered over faint lo-fi static he added for texture. itâs you, distilled into a three-second clip, filling his skull.
he closes his eyes and pretends youâre saying his name. satoru, you giggle, breathy and soft, like youâre leaning over his shoulder again, watching him work. satoru, you made it feel so real.
the lecture drones on, but heâs not listening. heâs lost in the rhythm of your voice, the way it dips and rises, the way it makes his skin feel too tight. he shifts in his seat, adjusts his hoodie, tries to ignore the heat pooling in his gut. heâs not supposed to want this. not supposed to want you.
but he does.
the thing about addiction is that it never announces itself.
no dramatic thunderclap. no internal monologue screaming, ah yes, now i am a pervert. itâs quiet. insidious. it sinks in like static, crackling at the edges of satoruâs brain until heâs not sure where his old self ends and this new, wretched version begins.
itâs not like heâs not already a pervert who gets off from pixels. this simply wasnât his brand of perversion.
that night, he stayed up longer than he shouldâve. stared at code for so long his ide crashed, the screen flickering to black as if it knew he was wasting his time. not that he got anything done.Â
he just kept switching tabsâyour final cut in vlc, some useless bash script in vscode he pretended to care about, then back to your video, the timeline frozen on that twirl, that gasp. his fingers shook when he closed the laptop, but sleep never came.
and now itâs the next day. mid-afternoon. the sun is doing that thing where it turns his apartment into a blinding box of heat and regret. his ac hums like an old man, wheezing against the sticky air. heâs sprawled in his chair, one leg slung over the armrest, staring at the ceiling fan like it might tell him how to stop.
ping.
another discord notification. he doesnât even flinch this time. your username glows, and the filename attached makes his stomach do a weird little roll: âtry-on2_raw.movâ. his eyes linger on the heart emoji youâve tacked onto the message, like itâs a personal invitation.
hiii! ty for the last edit, ur a lifesaver <3 can u check and trim this one too? iâm trying smth new but idk if it works⌠lmk what u think pls!!
he clicks download. no hesitation. doesnât even pretend to care anymore.
the file loads into his editing software like second nature, the premiere pro interface blooming across his screen. muscle memory. routine.
heâs done this a hundred timesâexcept never like this, never with his pulse hammering in his throat and his mouth already dry.
the video starts the same way as the lastâhandheld, messy lighting, your voice trailing in from offscreen as you fiddle with the camera angle. no mic, of course not. just raw cam audio, unpolished, real, every breath and rustle amplified. he leans closer, like proximity to the screen will make it less dangerous.
âokayâwait, hold on,â you mutter, slightly out of breath. thereâs a plastic rustle, fabric scraping skin, the light jingle of a zipper. he catches the sound of your nails tapping the digicam accidentally, a faint clack-clack that makes him picture your fingers, probably painted some ridiculous color, fumbling in that endearing way you do.Â
âugh⌠come onâŚâ your voice drops, a frustrated huff, low and throaty. âmmâsorry! this oneâs hard to pull up.â
thenâzipper slides. metal on fabric, slow and deliberate, like itâs teasing him on purpose. you let out a sigh, long, slow, just a little too satisfied, like youâre savoring the release of pressure. the sound coils in his gut, tight and hot.
he freezes.
his mouse stays hovering over the playhead, the cursor trembling slightly. blood is already rushing south, his sweatpants tightening in a way he canât ignore. his breath catches, shallow and sharp, and the worst part?
you giggle.
âprobably got the wrong size,â you say, tugging the dress up higher. the hem catches on your thighs, rising indecently, the fabric clinging to your skin like itâs reluctant to let go. âdonât tell anyone i didnât try it on in-store first.â
he swallows nothing. jaw tight. the room suddenly feels suffocating, the acâs hum drowned out by the thud of his own pulse. your lip catches between your teeth, a flash of white against pink gloss, and the camera catches that too, lingers on it like it knows what itâs doing.
you glance at the lens, eyes half-lidded, like youâre waiting for approval, like youâre asking him directlyâdo you like this?
satoruâs fingers twitch.
one hand stays on the mouse, scrubbing the timeline back three seconds to hear that sigh again. the other hand moves before he can stop it, slipping under his waistband, brushing against the heat of his skin. heâs already hard, achingly so, the kind of hard that makes his head swim.
he wraps his fingers around himself, slow at first, testing, like heâs not sure heâs really doing this again. but the sound of your voiceâbreathy, teasingâloops in his headphones, and heâs gone.
he strokes himself, deliberate and tight, his grip almost punishing. the video plays on, and youâre stepping into frame now, the dress half-zipped, hugging your curves in a way that makes his throat burn. your thighs shift as you adjust the hem, and he imagines them under his hands, soft and warm, parting just for him.
his thumb swipes over the tip of his cock, slick with precum, and he groans, low and broken, the sound swallowed by the hum of his pc. he pictures your fingers instead, clumsy but eager, your nails grazing his skin as you try to keep up with his rhythm.
heâd guide you, show you how he likes itâfast, rough, no mercy.
you sigh again, and he speeds up, his hand moving in time with the rise and fall of your voice. âthis oneâs kinda tight,â you murmur, tugging at the neckline, and the fabric stretches, exposing the swell of your chest.
he wants to rip it off, wants to hear you gasp for real, not for the camera but for him. his strokes grow erratic, desperate, the slick sound of his hand filling the room, obscene and unstoppable.
he scrubs the timeline back again, pauses on the frame where your dress slips, where your underwear peeks outâa thin, lacy thing that makes his vision blur. he imagines pulling it aside, imagines the heat of you, the way youâd whimper if he pressed himself inside.
heâs close, too close, his hips twitching up into his hand. the video loops your giggle, that satisfied sigh, and heâs drowning in it, in you.
he pictures you catching him like this, walking into his apartment right now, seeing him with his pants down and his cock in his hand, flushed and leaking. would you laugh? would you blush? would you drop to your knees and let him finish on your lips, glossy and perfect andâ
he comes with a muted groan, his head tipping back, eyes screwed shut as his release spills over his fingers, hot and messy. his breath shakes, a ragged exhale that leaves him hollow. the aftershocks pulse through him, and he slumps in his chair, the video still playing, your voice oblivious to the wreckage youâve caused.
he pauses the frame. your mouth is mid-word, forming the shape of âoops,â lips parted just enough to make his chest ache. he wipes his hand on a paper towel from his desk, crumpled and stained from earlier sins. doesnât look at himself. doesnât think.
exports the file without touching a thing. names it âfinal_edit.mov.â then saves another copy, the raw footage, every sigh and rustle preserved. he names it âjesusfuckingchrist.mp4â and buries it in a folder labeled âmisc_ref.â
he tries to normalize it.
âitâs just grading,â he mutters the next time he opens the project, the lie sour on his tongue. âjust adjusting white balance.â but the playback bar hasnât moved from your thighs. he doesnât touch the colors. not really.
he zooms in under the excuse of checking âgrain smoothing,â but itâs just your lip, caught between your teeth, your breath clipped at the edges like youâre holding back.
he tells himself heâs just learning.
every artist has their muse, right? except now he edits to your audio. he used to play podcasts, background noise to keep his brain from spiraling.
now? your breathing is layered into the timeline, a track heâs labeled âvox_ref.â he loops your laugh in reverse, lets it pan from left to right like itâs some surround sound experience.
âthis is practice,â he whispers, dragging eq curves around nonsense, boosting the highs until your voice is sharp and intimate. âiâm experimenting with filters.â
right. filters. filters until your voice sounds like itâs right by his ear, like youâre whispering in bed, your breath warm against his skin. he plays a clip of you saying âdo you like this one?â over and over, the words detached from context.
he doesnât even care what youâre referring to anymore. heâs got that part memorized, the way your voice dips, soft and unsure, like youâre asking him to love you.
the next class is worse.
you walk past him in that fuzzy pink shrug thing, one sleeve slipping off your shoulder, and itâs like a bomb goes off in his chest. the fabric clings to you, soft and teasing, and he wants to grab it, pull it down, see how much skin youâll let him have.
you lean down to plug your charger in, your jeans riding lowâtoo low, the kind of low that makes him wonder how theyâre even allowed on campus. he catches a glimpse of your underwear, a flash of lace, and his brain whites out.
he glares at his laptop, scoffs under his breath. âthat outfitâs⌠desperate.â the word feels like a blade, sharp and mean, but itâs all heâs got to keep you at a distance.
your head tilts, innocent, eyes wide like youâre genuinely curious. âyou think so?â you say it like you mean it, like you donât already know the answer, like you havenât watched your own footage and seen what heâs seen.
he shrugs, keeps scowling, doesnât look at you. his fingers grip the edge of his laptop too hard, knuckles white. behind the screen, heâs got a paused frame of you licking lip gloss off your thumb, minimized in the corner. itâs been open since he got here.
his file structure is disintegrating. he used to name things with logicâtimestamps, project codes, version numbers. now his desktop looks like a manifesto, a digital shrine to his unraveling. âvlog_tryon_final.mov.â âedit_3alt.mp4.â âfuckmeagain_laughcut.mov.â thereâs a folder called âNOT work (unless)â that he doesnât even open anymore, too afraid of what heâll find.
he tries to draw a line, but itâs blurry. always blurry. he doesnât know where the edit ends and obsession begins. when he dreams, he dreams about zippersâexcept theyâre not zipzers. theyâre your legs, parting slow and deliberate, your breath hitching as he pulls you closer.
a new text lights up his screen:
 hey! idk if the last one looks good⌠should i redo it? it felt kinda awkward lol sorry T_T
you sound insecure, unsure, your words dripping with that self-conscious charm that makes his chest hurt. he stares at the message, his thumb hovering over the keyboard, his mind spiraling.
you donât know, do you? you donât know what youâre doing to him, how your voice alone is enough to make him hard again.
he types:
looks clean. donât worry about it.
satoru watches the word clean sit there like a fucking lie. his dick twitches, traitor that it is.
he hates himself.
but he opens the raw file again. scrubs through, frame by frame, until he finds that timestampâwhere you moan, soft and accidental, like you didnât mean to let it slip. he watches it, his headphones sealing him in with the sound of you. he exports that single second, names it âmoan_finalgodhelpme.mp4,â and tucks it away like a secret heâll never confess.
the timeline sits open, your frozen frame staring back at him. he doesnât close it. doesnât want to.
it starts with static in his skull.
not the loud, electric kind that chokes you up or begs to be noticed. itâs quiet. a whir, like an old fan that never shuts off, humming behind his thoughts. when satoru drags his mouse across the screen and sees your name still on the folder, it buzzesâfaint, familiar, a sickness with your scent.
he changes the name from âNOT work (unless)â to âARCHIVE_21,â moves it to a different directory, pretends itâs work, or dead, or both. but the static doesnât stop. it clings, sticky and warm, like your laugh looping in his headphones.
it doesnât help.
not when he dreams in highlighter gloss and those half-bitten whines you make when stretching, your body arching just so. not when he wakes up rutting into damp sheets, mouthing your name like a damn prayer, his hips jerking against nothing. the shame burns, but itâs not enough to make him stop.
satoruâs trying.
really.
he takes up freelance gigs, edits wedding footage for some guy he hasnât spoken to since second year. overlays cheesy filters, mutes the groomâs ugly laugh, syncs the vows to some overused acoustic track. itâs clean. respectable. sterile enough to make him itch, like heâs wearing someone elseâs skin. but the folderâs still there, buried in his drive like it knows heâll come back.
2:03 a.m.
his inbox pings, a sharp sound that cuts through the drone of his pc fans. your name lights up the screen, and his chest tightens before he even reads the message.
hiii satoru!! sorry for the late send, been sooo busy <3 can u take a look at this haul vid? i tried smth spicy but idk if itâs too much⌠lmk what u think pretty pls!!
march haul (raw).mp4
he knows he shouldnât. thereâs no logical reason, no business context, just the weight of your wordsâspicy, pretty plsâsinking into his gut. but his hands move on their own, clicking download, the progress bar filling like a fuse burning down.
click.
of course he does.
the video starts soft, your bedroom light diffused to a golden haze, casting shadows that dance across rumpled sheets. it looks like youâve been tossing in them all day, the fabric creased and inviting.
youâre in laceâbarely. something soft pink and flimsy, a slip of fabric that clings to your curves like itâs begging to be torn off.
your thighâs out, one leg bent just enough to draw his eye, and the cameraâs angled low, too low, like you meant to frame it this way.
âgod, i hope this one fitsâŚâ your voice is breathy, a little strained, like youâre fighting the fabric. you adjust a strap, your fingers lingering on the lace, and your lip catches between your teeth, glossy and pink, a casual gesture thatâs anything but. his breath stutters, a sharp inhale that burns his throat.
âoops, sorryâtoo much cleavage?â you laugh, not to yourself but at him.
he knows it.
his cock knows it, twitching against the seam of his sweatpants. the screen shakes as you set the camera on something unsteadyâa stack of books, maybeâand it rocks just as you turn around, hips swaying, your ass hugged by that tiny thong, the lace cutting into your skin like a claim. you glance back over your shoulder, smirk poised like a dagger, eyes glinting in the soft light.
âi bet youâd pause right here, wouldnât you?â
he does.
the video cuts mid-breath, and he doesnât hear the silence. heâs frozen, hand halfway down, brain wiped clean. the frame lingers on your ass, the curve of it framed by lace, and his mouth is dry, his pulse hammering so loud it drowns out the static.
ping.
march haul (real).mp4
oops. wrong send lol. this is the real one!
his screen is still painted with the freeze-frame of your ass. his dickâs straining so hard it aches, a dull throb that makes him shift in his chair. he doesnât respond, doesnât move for a full minute, just stares at the message, the word oops taunting him. thenâ
he saves both files. drags them into âARCHIVE_21â with a trembling cursor, his fingers clumsy on the trackpad. he opens the raw one again, slower this time, one hand on his lap, the other fisting his sheets until the fabric creaks.
youâre back on screen, adjusting the strap again, your laugh curling through his headphones like smoke. his hand slips under his waistband, and heâs already leaking, the tip slick and sensitive as he grips himself.
he strokes slow, deliberate, savoring the friction, but his mindâs elsewhereâon the hentai heâs spent years jerking off to, the doujins with dog-eared pages and cum-stained corners.
he pictures you like those girls, bent over and begging, your lace thong pushed to the side as he fucks you from behind, your moans louder, needier, than anything youâve let slip on camera.
he imagines pinning you to those rumpled sheets, your thighs trembling under his hands, your ass bouncing with every thrust. no teasing giggles, no coy glancesâjust you, fucked out and whimpering, his name on your lips as he buries himself deep, so deep you canât think.
his hand speeds up, the slick sound obscene in the quiet of his room. he scrubs the timeline back, pauses on the moment you turn, your smirk sharp and knowing.
he wants to wipe it off, wants to fuck you until youâre too wrecked to smile, until youâre clawing at the sheets and sobbing his name. he imagines your cunt, tight and wet, gripping him as he pounds into you, the lace of your thong rubbing raw against his skin.
itâs not enough to watch you anymore, not enough to stroke himself to your voiceâhe wants to ruin you, wants to feel you break under him, wants to make you his in a way those 2d girls never could.
he cums with a low, breathy whisper of your name, his hips jerking up into his hand. itâs intense, almost painful, spilling over his fingers and onto the hem of his shirt.
his chest heaves, his vision blurring as he slumps back, the video still playing, your laugh oblivious to the mess heâs become. he opens it again, doesnât touch himself this timeâjust watches, memorizes, eyes glassy and mouth parted.
at one point, he swears he moans with you, a soft sound that slips out unbidden, his body betraying him even when heâs spent. when he edits the ârealâ file, heâs a machine. no stutters, no slips, just sharp keystrokes and surgical cuts, trimming shaky frames and boosting your voice until itâs crisp.
the guilt claws at him, a dull ache in his chest, but it only makes the next orgasm worseâand better. he exports it, names it âhaul_march_final.mov,â and saves the raw file to a new subfolder: âstills_ref.â he doesnât name the second copy. doesnât need to. itâs just for him.
he plays it cool in class. âwow. another fit straight outta your grandmaâs closet,â he scoffs as you pass, voice dripping with mockery, lips curling into something lazy and mean.
but his gaze flickersâjust once, low and quick, like heâs checking for danger. and there it is. a flash of soft pink lace against the curve of your thigh as you shift your bag higher up your shoulder. just a sliver. deliberate.
he knows that lace. knows it from the raw footage, from the way it hugged your skin under golden light. his smirk falters for half a second, a crack in his armor.
you turn your head, slow as syrup, and smile at him over your shoulder. itâs airy, innocent, ditzy enough to play dumb, poisonous enough to feel like a threat. âmm? that bad, huh?â your voice is light, but your eyes linger a moment too long, sharp and knowing, like youâre peeling him open.
you take your seat two rows away, crossing one leg over the other with careful grace. your skirt rides up, just enough to show the edge of that lace again, and your fingers toy absentmindedly with the hem, brushing the fabric like itâs a game.
he doesnât blink.
he knows whatâs under that skirt, knows the way that lace bites into your skin when you move just like that. heâs seen it in soft lighting, tangled with shadows and sighs. he knows, and you know, and neither of you say a word.
he canât breathe.
his hand trembles as he grips his pen, scrawling nonsense on the corner of his notesârandom numbers, jagged lines, anything to keep his fingers busy.
someoneâs asking a question about identity and performance, something about how we present ourselves versus how we wish to be perceived, and satoruâs already halfway to standing.
âsorry. washroom.â his voice cracks halfway through the lie, too sharp, too rushed.
satoru stumbles into the menâs room like heâs escaping a crime scene, the door clicking shut behind him. palm flat against cold tile, forehead pressed to the inside of his wrist, he tries to breathe, tries to think of anything elseâcode, deadlines, the wedding edit heâs behind on.
but itâs you.
always you. your smile, your laugh, the lace peeking out like a taunt.
heâs already hard, already leaking, the front of his jeans tight and unforgiving. he fumbles with the button, shoves them down just enough, and grips himself, his hand shaking as he strokes.
he closes his eyes and sees youânot the you in class, not the you playing dumb, but the you from his fantasies, the you heâs built from hentai panels and late-night desperation. he imagines you on your knees, lace thong pulled down, your cunt glistening as he fucks you against the bathroom sink.
no giggles, no teasingâjust raw, desperate need, your moans echoing off the tiles as he slams into you, his hands bruising your hips, your body arching to take him deeper.
he wants you messy, wants you marked, wants to fill you until youâre dripping, until youâre his in a way thatâs permanent.
he strokes faster, his breath hitching, his teeth sinking into his knuckles to muffle the groan clawing up his throat. he cums hard, too fast, his knees buckling as it spills over his hand, hot and shameful. he shakes, gasping, his forehead slick against the tile, and thinks of lace. thinks of lip gloss. thinks of your voice saying âoopsâ like itâs a sin.
it doesnât take long for his desktop to become an altar.
the backgroundâs still you, a freeze-frame from the first video, your lip gloss shimmering and fingers caught mid-twist in your hair. he tells himself itâs temporary, just a visual reference.
itâs been three weeks.
folders on folders: âhauls > favs > zoom_ins > stills > pantyshots.â âaudio_samples > moan_loop > breath_only.wav.â âcolor tests > gloss_ref > lips.png.â
some nights, he replays a single frame just to watch your mouth form the word âfuck,â slows it down, isolates the syllables, pretends youâre saying his name instead.
the worst part?
youâre still pretending nothingâs changed. still calling them âfavors,â still sending content like itâs work, like itâs nothing.
but your outfits are shorter, your giggles stick to the air longer, your eyes linger like youâre testing something. and when you purr, âyouâre sooo good at this, satoru,â with that saccharine lilt, your voice curling around his name like a caress, he bites the inside of his cheek just to keep quiet. fists the sheets at night and prays.
he moans your name in the dark, face hot with shame, and hates how much he wants you to hear it.
satoruâs become sleep-deprived, dark smudges nesting beneath his eyes like fingerprints left behind by guilt or obsession or both. he wears his glasses more lately, less out of need and more as a buffer between him and the worldâbetween him and you.
the lenses catch the glow of his new triple-monitor setup, a sleek beast he told himself was for coding, for editing, for multitasking. not for keeping your videos looping on the side monitor while he pretends to work on the main one. not for that at all.
your folderâs pinned in quick access, a permanent fixture in his file explorer. he keeps it open in the background at all times, a digital pulse that hums alongside his pc fans. second nature now, like breathing or wanting. not unlike a shrine.
in class, he pretends to take notes, his stylus scratching nonsense on his tablet. heâs not. heâs watching a gif on his phone, hidden under the deskâa loop of your tongue dragging slow across lip gloss, eyes soft with focus like youâre painting yourself pretty just for him. the gifâs only three seconds, but heâs memorized every frame, every flicker of your lashes. his thumb swipes to replay it, again, again, until his vision blurs.
ctrl+shift+eject brain.exe.
three days pass, and you havenât messaged. he checks your chat thread more than he breathesâopens, closes, re-opens, scrolling through your old texts like theyâll reveal something new. every flicker of hope is a false start, a phantom ping that makes his chest lurch. heâs pathetic, he knows it, but knowing doesnât stop the itch.
then:
ping.
april haul (suits).mov
hii satoru!! new haul vid for u to check <3 tried some swimsuits this time, hope itâs not too boring to trim hehe. lmk what u think!!â
he nearly drops his phone, his thumb smudging the screen as he fumbles to download. his new setup hums to life, the main monitor flashing with code he hasnât touched in hours, the side monitor already open to your folder.
he drags the file into premiere, the timeline blooming across the screen, but his eyes are on the raw video, already playing on the right monitor, your voice spilling through his headphones like honey.
the videoâs different this time. the cameraâs lower, like itâs been left on a desk or shelf, pointing slightly upward to frame you from your knees to just above your head. your bed makes a cozy blur in the background, sheets tangled like an invitation.
youâre in a bikini top that isnât trying very hard to stay on, thin strings knotted loosely at your neck and back, the fabric barely containing you. âmmm. does this scream summer, or slut?â you giggle, feigned innocence like frosting over heat, your voice curling around the words like you know exactly what theyâll do to him.
you play with the strings at your chest, tugging, adjusting, your fingers brushing the swell of your breasts. then, softer, breathier, to the lens: âbaby, help me pickâŚâ
baby.
it breaks him all over again, a crack that runs straight through his chest. his cock twitches, already hard, straining against his boxers.
everything after that gets softer, lazier, dangerous in how intimate it feels. thereâs no performative energy nowâjust casual, candid seduction, your movements slow, like youâre not hurrying for anyone. like you know exactly whoâs watching and how long heâll linger.
when you shrug a dress off your shoulders, you sigh, the sound catching in your throat. when you twist to adjust a strap, you hum, low and absentminded. and when you struggle with a clasp at your back, your fingers fumbling, you moanâsoft, unintentional, a sound that slips out like it surprised even you.
satoruâs thumb slams the spacebar, pausing the video, rewinding three seconds to hear it again. he watches the way your lips part, the way your brows twitch, the way your body shifts like youâre chasing the sensation.
heâs already leaking, his boxers damp as he shoves them down, his hand wrapping around himself. the side monitor loops the raw footage, your moan playing over and over, while the main monitor holds the paused frame of your parted lips. he strokes slow at first, his grip tight, his thumb swiping over the tip where heâs slick and sensitive.
his mind slips to the doujins heâs hoarded, the hentai heâs spent years chasingâthe girls with flushed cheeks and desperate eyes, fucked raw and begging for more. but now itâs you, not some inked fantasy, and itâs so much filthier.
he imagines you sprawled across your bed, that bikini top ripped off, your thighs spread wide as he fucks you deep, relentless, your cunt clenching around him as you sob his name. no teasing, no gigglesâjust you, wrecked and dripping, your nails clawing his back as he takes you again and again, each thrust harder, messier, until youâre nothing but his.
his hand speeds up, the slick sound loud in his room, mixing with your looped moan. he wants you pinned beneath him, wants to feel you squirm, wants to fuck you until the bed creaks and your voice breaks, until youâre begging like those hentai girls, your glossed lips trembling as you say his nameâsatoru, please, more.
he imagines filling you, his cum leaking down your thighs, your body marked by him in ways he canât unsee. itâs not enough to watch, not enough to strokeâhe wants to own you, wants to make you his in every way those 2d fantasies taught him to crave.
he cums hard, forehead pressed to his desk, a low groan tearing from his throat as it spills over his hand, his keyboard, the edge of his new setup. his breath is ragged, like heâs run a marathon, his glasses fogging slightly as he gasps.
the side monitor still plays, your voice oblivious, your moan looping like a hymn. he doesnât stop the video, just slumps back, spent and shaking, and watches again, his hand twitching like itâs not done.
it doesnât take long for his room to reek of sweat and sin.
he edits shirtless now, sometimes in boxers, always hard, always leaking. every fileâs renamed with trembling hands: âwifey_take7.mov.â âwifey_raw.mp4.â
he syncs your sighs to his lo-fi playlist, turns it into a lullaby, falls asleep to the sound of your breath. sometimes he slows your voice just to hear âbabyâ dragged out into velvet, makes gifs of your hands skimming your hips, kisses the screen when heâs drunk enough to forget shame.
you, on the other hand, donât break character.
in class, you chew your pen and lean forward, the arch of your spine exact, your cleavage subtleâbarely a tease, just enough to make his throat tighten. he looks away with a clenched jaw, adjusts himself under the desk, twice, his jeans unforgiving.
you whisper to a friend and giggle, and he lipreads, thinks he sees the words âcanât wait,â but maybe heâs hallucinating, maybe not. it doesnât matter.
he starts responding to the clips aloud.
âfuck yes, that one.â âspin again, baby.â sometimes he mumbles your name like a prayer, sometimes he chokes it into his pillow. every orgasm has your name carved into it, a brand he canât erase.
one night, he opens a file to edit, drags it into premiere, but he doesnât touch it. just watches, headphones in, barely breathing. not a content creator now, not a student, not even a manâjust a creature of need, and you his ritual, his muse, his goddess.
the screen shows you adjusting the straps of a silky babydoll, the lighting warm, your thighs bare, half-tucked under you as you sit prettily at the edge of your bed.
âokay, so this oneâs⌠like, totally giving âcome to bedâ energy, right?â you giggle, voice light, teeth sinking into your glossed lip as you bounce once, soft and natural, the fabric barely covering your chest.
satoru groans low in his throat, not even trying to hide it. âitâs giving bend over,â he mutters, lips twitching, his side monitor looping the raw footage, his main screen frozen on your smile. âfuck, look at youâŚâ
you reach behind you, struggle with the clasp, wiggle your shoulders like youâre teasing whoeverâs behind the camera. âoof. thatâs tight⌠should i size up?â a breathy laugh follows, your sigh melting into it.
he licks his lips, your audio crystal-clear in his headphones. youâre right there, talking to him. ânah, baby,â he croons, eyes fixed on the curve of your spine as you turn. âtightâs perfect. keeps the goods in place.â
you blow a kiss at the lens. âhope youâre not bored yet,â you say with a wink. âi saved the cutest for lastâŚâ
you bend off-frame, your ass peeking just above the edge of the bed, round and inviting in cotton panties with lace trim, and when you rise again, your hands hold something sheer and tiny. âtadaaa,â you whisper, eyes glinting with mischief. âthis oneâs for my favorite viewer.â
00:05:46âsatoru slams the shortcut, timestamp saved. a second later, he screenshots, then again, then again, frame by frame, until he finds the exact one where your lipâs caught between your teeth and your ass is still halfway in the air.
âfucking perfect,â he mutters, breath uneven. he pulls the image up on his main screen, zooms in, sharpens it, runs it through noise reduction. the side monitor loops the raw video, your voice sweet and teasing, while the right monitor plays a gif of your earlier moan, your lips parted in that soft, accidental sound.
his handâs already moving, shoving his boxers down, his cock springing free, hard and leaking like itâs been waiting for this.Â
he grips himself, rough and urgent, no pretense of patience. the new setupâs perfectâyour video on the side, his code on the main screen like heâs working, but itâs all you, every pixel, every sound.
he strokes in time with your giggle, his eyes flicking between the gif of your moan and the screenshot of your ass, his mind spiraling into the filthiest corners of his hentai-soaked brain.
he imagines you on that bed, face down, ass up, the babydoll hiked to your waist as he fucks you so hard the headboard cracks. he wants you screaming, wants your cunt pulsing around him, wants to pull your hair and make you look at him as he fills you, over and over, until youâre a mess, until youâre his completely.
his strokes are frantic, his breath hitching, his hips bucking into his hand. he pictures you tied to the bed, like that one doujin he read last month, your wrists bound with those same bikini strings, your thighs trembling as he fucks you through one orgasm into the next.
he wants to cum inside you, wants to watch it drip out, wants to push it back in with his fingers and make you lick them clean. itâs not enough to jerk off anymore, not enough to dreamâhe wants to break you, wants to make you real, wants to fuck you until youâre as addicted to him as he is to you.
he cums with a choked growl, his head tipping back, glasses slipping down his nose as it spills over his hand, his desk, the sticky mess splattering his keyboard.
heâs shaking, gasping, his chest heaving as the side monitor loops your voice, your âbabyâ purring like a mantra. his wristâs sticky, his room a haze of sweat and shame, but he doesnât care. heâs not even really here.
youâre everywhere nowâthree monitors, three altars, your image burned into his retinas. heâd worship on his knees if you asked.
the next day, another file:
april haul (closeups).mp4
sorry! idk if this oneâs helpful but i liked the shots hehe
he doesnât unzip his pants. doesnât need to. heâs already throbbing from the inside out, his body reacting to your name alone. he clicks, watches, kneels, and whispers your name like a benediction, the static in his skull louder than ever.
it starts with a ping.
innocuous. a single pixel shift on the main monitor mid-code, just as satoruâs debugging a script for a deadline he already missed. his side monitor hums with your last video, paused on that frame where your lipâs caught between your teeth, and the third monitorâs open to a half-finished render he hasnât touched in days. he glances lazily at the notification, expecting another reminder from suguru to shower or eatâ
but no. itâs you.
hey⌠do u do filming too?
his fingers freeze. heart jams, a dull thud in his chest. the cursor blinks, waiting, mocking. he doesnât think. doesnât breathe. his glasses slip down his nose, and he doesnât fix them. the words burn into his retinas, and his cock twitches before he can process why.
yeah. totally. what kind of shoot?
he sends it, his thumb trembling over the enter key. no reply. not for five whole minutes. the wait is a crucifixion, each second stretching into eternity. he keeps opening and closing the chat, rereading your words like they might shift into something dirtier, something more.
his triple-monitor setup glows, your frozen frame on the side monitor staring at him, lips parted, eyes glinting. heâs already leaking in his pants, a damp spot spreading against his thigh.
then:
just a casual thing. home setup. come over?
he reads it twice. three times. his breath catches, sharp and shallow, like heâs been punched. come over. your dorm. your space.h eâs hard, achingly so, his boxers tight and unforgiving. he doesnât reply, just slams his laptop shut, grabs his camera bag, and stumbles out the door.
he shows up twenty minutes later, barely remembered to wear deodorant, definitely forgot his dignity. his high-end sony alpha mirrorlessâloaded with a lens that costs more than most peopleâs rentâbounces against his chest as he knocks. his palms are slick, his glasses fogging slightly from the heat of his own nerves.
you open the door with a giggle, wrapped in a pastel pink robe that might as well be air. it clings to the curve of your waist, parts at the thigh, revealing soft skin that makes his throat burn. your hairâs still damp, sticking to your collarbones, and the scent of vanilla lotion hits him like a drug. âthanks for coming! iâm kinda nervousâŚâ
he wants to bark out same, but his jaw locks. he swallows instead, the motion too loud in his ears. âno problem.â his voice is gravel, like heâs choking on his own want. he steps inside, and your dorm swallows him wholeâwarm, cutesy, a pastel fever dream of plush throw pillows, fairy lights, and a pink velvet couch that looks too soft, too inviting.
heâs already imagining you bent over it, your robe hiked up, your moans echoing off the walls. it smells like you sprayed your strawberry perfume over every surface, dizzying, suffocating. his glasses fog again.
he sets up the tripod with shaking hands, the sonyâs weight grounding him just enough to keep from falling apart. you bounce around the living room, humming, fluffing pillows on the couch, fixing your gloss in a heart-shaped mirror propped against a shelf.
âdoes this lighting make me look washed out?â you ask, stepping back, tilting your head. then you bend to adjust a lamp, and your robe parts just enough to reveal the gentle curve of your ass, bare except for a sliver of lace.
he sees. pretends he didnât. fumbles the lens cap, twice, the plastic clattering to the floor. his face burns, but he keeps his eyes on the camera, adjusting settings he doesnât need to touch.
you brush past him again and again, your bare arm glancing his, silk whispering across his knuckles when you pass. he smells shampoo in the air, thick and sweet, and itâs you, all you, sinking into his lungs. âyou nervous?â you tease, voice light, a giggle curling at the edges.
he scoffs, wiping his palm against his jeans, the denim rough against his slick skin. âpfft. nah. iâve filmed worse.â a lie, bold and brittle, his voice too tight to sell it.
âworse than me?â you pout, stepping closer, close enough that he can feel the warmth of your breath. âouch.â
âi didnât say that.â his voice cracks, a hairline fracture. heâs too aware of you, of the way your robe slips an inch, of the way your eyes glint like youâre playing with him.
you tilt your head, wide-eyed, all fake innocence. âsooo⌠you have filmed pretty girls before?â
he falters, breath stuttering in his chest. heâs a virgin, hasnât touched a girl in years, hasnât wanted toânot when hentaiâs been enough, when doujins have been his only lovers. but youâre real, and youâre here, and youâre breaking him.
âno one like you,â he says, unfiltered, raw, the words slipping out before he can stop them.
your lips curl, slow and sweet, a smile that says i know. âhm. figured.â
you disappear into your bedroom for a few minutes, the door clicking shut. he pretends to adjust the white balance, tweaking settings on the sony that are already perfect, but really heâs staring at the door like it owes him salvation.
his cockâs throbbing, a dull ache that wonât quit, and he shifts, trying to ease the pressure. the living room feels too small, the pink couch too soft, the fairy lights too intimate. heâs imagining you sprawled across that couch, your robe gone, your thighs spread, his camera capturing every gasp.
the door opens. you emerge. lingerie set, pale and sheer, a mini skirt that barely qualifies, lip gloss freshly reapplied. you look like a doll, saccharine and sinful, every curve a taunt. âcan you help me zip this?â you turn, bare back exposed, the zipper halfway up, your spine a perfect line that begs to be touched.
he steps forward, too close, his exhale brushing your shoulder. his fingers graze your skinâsoft, warm, realâand you shiver, a small, deliberate tremor. he pulls the zipper up with trembling hands, the metal catching once, his breathing uneven. the distance between you shatters into nothing, the air thick with static.
âyouâre doing this on purpose,â he rasps, low in your ear, his voice rough with want.
âdoing what?â you whisper, fake innocence thick as honey, your head tilting just enough to catch his eye.
you look back at him, lashes fluttering, lips parted, glossy and pink. he breaks.
âfuck.â
he grabs you, his hands rough on your hips, your mouths crashing togetherâteeth, tongue, gasps. your lip gloss smears against his cheek, sweet and sticky, and he groans into the kiss, devouring you.
you moan into his mouth, legs wrapping around his hips as he lifts you onto the counter, the edge biting into your thighs. youâre silk and heat and sin beneath his hands, and heâs forgotten everything elseâhis camera, his code, his shame. only you exist now.
you feel his hard-on through his jeans, pressed against your thighs, and heâs panting, his breath stuttering against your skin as he kisses down your jaw, your neck, the ridge of your spine. his mouth is everywhere, like heâs starved, like heâs trying to memorize you with his tongue.
his glasses slip down, and he grins against your collarbone. âneed to get a better look,â he mutters, a flimsy excuse to lean closer, until the fog of his breath warms your skin. he bites your collarbone, hard, groaning when he leaves a mark. âwanna see that in playback.â
he drops to his knees without hesitation, a virginâs worship, reverence born from years of hentai and nothing else. his fingers dig into your thighs, spreading them wide, and he groans like heâs just found salvation. he runs his tongue along the inner part first, slow and teasing, so close to the lace of your panties but not touching what you want.
you try to close your legs, but he forces them open, his grip bruising, his mouth finding the wet spot through the fabric. âfuck, youâre soaked,â he growls, voice muffled, his tongue dragging heavy and slow, the lace rough against your clit. âbeen wet for me this whole time, huh? fuckinâ tease.â
you whimper, hips bucking, and he moans into you, the vibration making you gasp. he licks through the panties, relentless, his glasses slipping halfway down his nose but he doesnât care.
âyou taste better than i dreamed,â he says, his voice hoarse, hentai dialogue spilling out like itâs natural. he sucks at the fabric, tongue pressing harder, and youâre trembling, your hands fisting his hair as you grind against his face. heâs messy, desperate, his moans louder than yours, like heâs the one about to cum. you do, hard, a cry tearing from your throat as you shudder against his mouth, and he doesnât stop, lapping at the soaked lace like itâs his last meal.
he presses his cheek to your thigh, sticky and glistening, looking up at you with glassy eyes. âfirst oneâs mine,â he says, grinding his hips into the floor, his jeans tight with his own need. you donât think he even realizes heâs doing it. he spreads you open with his fingers, peeling the panties aside, watching your hole twitch with a hunger that makes his mouth water.
âlook at that,â he murmurs, almost to himself, his voice dripping with awe. âfuckinâ perfect.â he slides two fingers in, slow at first, then deeper, curling them just right, like heâs memorized every doujin panel that showed him how. âshitâiâve seen this in hentai but itâs better. fuck, itâs real.â
his fingers pump, slick and steady, and youâre moaning, head thrown back, the counter digging into your hips. he adds a third, stretching you, his free hand jerking himself through his jeans, matching the pace of his fingers inside you. âso tight, baby. youâre gonna feel so good around my cock.â
he spits on your pussy, a quick, filthy gesture, his eyes locked on yours as it drips down. âthey never show that part right in hentai. had to test it myself.â you moan, loud and broken, and he moans louder, his fingers slipping out with a wet squelch. he licks them clean, slow, eyes fluttering shut like heâs savoring you. âfuckâwant it all.â
he stands, trembling, his jeans tented painfully. âcan i?â his voice is small, almost pleading, a crack in his bravado. you nod, and he fumbles with his belt, shoving his jeans down just enough. he lines himself up, his cock thick and leaking, the tip brushing your entrance. âyouâre so warmâholy shitâyouâre squeezing meâfuckââ
he slides in, slow at first, gasping as you take him, your cunt tight and slick around him. heâs a virgin, but he knows this, knows the rhythm from years of jerking off to scenes just like this. he freezes, trying not to cum, his glasses fogging as he pants. you clench down, deliberate, and he slaps your thigh, a quick, sharp sting that earns him a whine.
âdonâtâfuck, donât do that yet.â
he pulls out, just to slam back in, harder, the counter creaking under you. his rhythmâs sloppy, desperate, but he finds it, each thrust deeper, rougher. âlook at you,â he growls, his voice pure filth, hentai dialogue spilling free. âtaking my cock like a good little slut. you love this, donât you? fuckinâ made for me.â he licks the tears running down your cheek, his tongue hot and greedy. âcrying already? baby, iâm not even close to done.â
you moan his name, and he loses it, his thrusts turning frantic, messy, like heâs trying to ruin you. âfilm it. show me what you see,â you gasp, and he fumbles for his phone, almost dropping it with how hard heâs shaking.
the camera app opens in a blur of fingers, then steadies, the lens catching you spread wide beneath him, thighs trembling, pussy stuffed full of his cock. he holds it there, watching the way you flutter around him, his breath ragged. âwatch this later and see how ruined you look, baby,â he pants, voice hoarse, wild.
he leans in, still recording, whispering filth against your ear. âthatâs right. take it. cry for me. i want you loud.â his other hand drags the mic closer, the sonyâs external recorder capturing every slick thrust, every broken sob, every wet squelch, loud and obscene.
he fucks you harder, the counter shaking, your tits bouncing with each thrust. âgonna fuck you on every piece of furniture in here,â he growls, his voice low, unhinged. âthat couch? gonna bend you over it. that table? gonna spread you wide. your bed? gonna fill you till youâre screaming.â
you clench around him, and he groans, his hips stuttering. âfuck, you like that? you want me to wreck you everywhere, donât you?â you nod, gasping, and he slaps your thigh again, harder, leaving a red mark. âsay it, baby. tell me you want it.â
âi want it,â you whimper, voice breaking, and he grins, feral, his thrusts turning punishing. you cum again, a shuddering mess, your cry echoing in the mic as your cunt pulses around him, slick dripping down your thighs. he doesnât stop, doesnât slow, his cock throbbing as he fucks you through it.
âgonna fill you up,â he pants, his voice cracking, hentai fantasies spilling out. âgonna cum so deep youâll feel me for days. you want that, donât you? want my cum dripping out of you?â
you nod, moaning, and he loses it, slamming into you one last time as he cums, a guttural groan tearing from his throat. itâs hot, messy, spilling inside you, and he keeps thrusting, shallow and desperate, like heâs trying to push it deeper.
satoru doesnât stop.
in fact, he lifts you, his arms wrapping under your thighs like youâre weightless, his cock still buried inside you, slick and pulsing. your head lolls against his shoulder, your breath hot against his neck, and he groans, low and guttural, as he carries you toward your bedroom.
the air shifts as he crosses the threshold, your perfume hitting him harder hereâfloral and sugary, the same scent that clings to your pillow, your wrist, your everything. itâs thicker in this room, curling around him like a trap, and he kicks the door shut behind him, the click loud in the quiet.
he pushes you toward the vanity, your back meeting the cool glass of the mirror with a soft thud. he bends you over it, slow and deliberate, his hands guiding your hips until your cheek presses against the surface, your breath fogging the reflection.
âlook at you,â he groans, angling his phone to capture the sceneâyour flushed face, your glossed lips parted, your eyes half-lidded in the mirror as you whine in embarassment.
âpretty little thing, still trying to act innocent.â his voice is rough, edged with hunger, and he shifts his hips, thrusting shallowly, keeping you pinned, reaching for your lip gloss.
you mumble something, a weak protest or plea, but he shuts it up with a swipe of your lip gloss across your mouth, his hand trembling as he paints your lips pink, the applicator slick and messy.
âperfect,â he says, pulling back just enough to admire the shine, the way it catches the light. then he pushes in again, deeper, and you both moan, the sound mingling in the air, caught by the sonyâs mic still recording from the tripod in the corner.
he kisses you messilyâgloss smearing, lips hungry, teeth clashing as he grinds his hips, slow and torturous, never breaking the rhythm. the camera stays on, the phone propped against a perfume bottle, capturing every gasp, every shudder.
âtaste so fuckinâ good,â he mutters against your mouth, his tongue chasing the sticky sweetness. âgonna kiss you till youâre dripping everywhere.â
satoru lays you on the bed next, gentle but urgent, his hands shaking as he props his phone against a stack of books on your nightstand, the camera app open, framing you perfectlyâyour body sprawled across the pastel sheets, thighs parted, lingerie barely clinging to your skin, the sheer fabric of your top stretched tight over your chest, the mini skirt hiked up to expose the lace of your panties.
he climbs over you, his glasses slipping down his nose, and pushes your legs up, hooking them over his shoulders, the angle forcing you open, vulnerable.
âfuck, you feel like heaven,â he says, voice cracking, almost reverent, as he slides back inside you, slow and deep, the heat of you pulling a groan from his throat. âiâm never gonna stop, baby.â
each thrust is deliberate, his hips rolling to hit that spot that makes you arch, your nails raking down his arms, leaving red trails heâll stare at later.
he kisses you through it, his mouth sloppy and desperate, swallowing your moans like theyâre his lifeline. the bed creaks under you, the fairy lights casting a soft glow over your tear-streaked face, and heâs lost in it, in the way you clench around him, so tight itâs like youâre made for him.
âso fuckinâ perfect,â he pants, his lips brushing your ear, his breath hot and uneven. âtaking my cock like you were born for it.â
he tugs at the straps of your lingerie top, pulling it down until your tits spill free, the sheer fabric catching under them, and he groans, his mouth latching onto a nipple, sucking hard until you whimper, your hips bucking against him.
but it doesnât lastâhe needs more, needs to see you break in ways heâs only imagined in the dark of his room, his hand on his cock and your videos on loop.
he pulls out, his dick slick and throbbing, and grabs your hips, flipping you with a low grunt. he drags you up by the waist, positioning you on your knees, your ass high, your face pressed into the sheets, the skirt still bunched around your hips. his hand slides up your spine, pushing your chest down, arching you just right, and he yanks the lace panties to the side, not bothering to take them off.
âthis is what you get for teasing me all these days,â he growls, his voice unhinged, as he lines himself up and thrusts in, hard and deep, the slap of skin sharp in the quiet room.
you whimper, muffled against the pillow, and he fucks harder, each thrust rocking you forward, the bedframe rattling, your moans spilling free despite the fabric. his phoneâs still recording, propped precariously, catching every angleâyour arched back, your trembling thighs, the way his cock disappears into you with every brutal snap of his hips.
âlook at that pussy,â he says, his free hand gripping your ass, spreading you open for the camera. âso greedy, swallowing me whole. you love this, donât you?â he tugs your hair, pulling your head back, forcing your cries to echo. âlouder, baby. let the whole fuckinâ dorm hear you.â
he slows, just to torment you, his hips grinding deep, making you squirm, your overstimulated body shaking under him. youâre teary, sobs catching in your throat, but he doesnât careâhe wants you loud, wants you broken. he leans down, his chest pressed to your back, and bites your shoulder, hard enough to leave a mark.
âcry for me,â he whispers, his voice rough, his hand slipping around to pinch your nipple, twisting until you gasp. âwanna hear you fall apart.â he pulls out, leaving you empty, and you whine, a desperate, keening sound that makes him smirk.
âpatience, princess,â he mocks, slapping your ass lightly, the sting making you clench around nothing.
satoru guides you up, turning you to face him, and pushes you back onto the bed, climbing over you. âwanna see you ride me,â he says, lying back against the headboard, his hands gripping your hips as you straddle him. he tugs the skirt off completely, tossing it aside, leaving you in just the stretched-out lingerie top and soaked panties.
âbounce,â he growls, his eyes locked on where you sink down onto him, slow and deliberate, your cunt stretching around him as you take him inch by inch. âshow the camera how you fuck me.â
his phoneâs angled to catch it allâyour tits bouncing, still half-caught in the sheer fabric, your thighs trembling, the way you gasp every time you drop down, taking him to the hilt.
you move, your hips rolling, your hands braced on his chest, and heâs sweating, his glasses slipping, his breath ragged. he doesnât let you slow, his hands lifting you, slamming you back down, making you take him deeper. âthatâs it,â he says, voice hoarse, his fingers digging into your ass, leaving bruises. âfuck yourself on my cock. show me how bad you need it.â
youâre sobbing now, tears streaming down your cheeks, but you keep going, your moans loud and broken, your body shaking from the overstimulation. he reaches up, ripping the lingerie top off completely, the fabric tearing with a sharp sound, and gropes your tits, squeezing hard, his thumbs brushing your nipples until you shudder.
âthese are mine now,â he says, his voice pure filth. âgonna mark âem up so you canât hide.â
heâs close, too close, but heâs not done.
he pushes you off, gentle but firm, and stands, pulling you with him toward the full-length mirror by your closet. he spins you, pressing your chest to the glass, your hands splaying against it, your tear-streaked reflection staring back.
he kicks your legs apart, his cock nudging your entrance, and slides in, slow and deep, his breath hot against your ear. âlook at you,â he says, his lips brushing your neck, his hands caging you against the mirror. âlook at my cock ruining your pussy.â
he thrusts, slow at first, watching your reflectionâyour tears, your drool, your gloss-smeared lips, the way your body shakes with every snap of his hips. âyou wanted a nerd? this nerdâs gonna fuckinâ break you.â
he fucks you harder, the mirror rattling, your moans bouncing off the walls, loud enough to wake the neighbors. âso fuckinâ pretty,â he pants, one hand slipping to your clit, rubbing messy, relentless circles. âgonna cum all over my cock, arenât you? gonna make a mess for me?â
you nod, sobbing, your body trembling, and he slaps your ass, the sting sharp, making you clench around him. âsay it, baby. tell me youâre mine.â
âiâm yours,â you gasp, voice breaking, tears streaming, and he cums with a raw groan, spilling inside you, hot and thick, his hips stuttering as he rides it out.
he doesnât pull out, doesnât stop, his cock still hard, still twitching as he fucks his cum deeper, the slick sound obscene. ânot done,â he mutters, his glasses fogged, his voice wrecked. âgonna make you cum again.â
he keeps going, relentless, his thrusts slower but deeper, each one pushing his cum back inside, making you shake. his fingers on your clit are merciless, circling fast, and youâre oversensitive, your body convulsing, your moans turning to desperate cries. âsatoruâfuckâtoo muchââ you sob.
he only slaps your thigh, sharp and stinging, and leans in, his lips grazing your ear. âtoo much? nah, princess, you can take it. wanna feel you squirt for me.â
he angles his hips, hitting that spot that makes your vision blur, and youâre gone, your body locking up as you cum, a gush of wet heat soaking his cock, dripping down your thighs, pooling on the floor. he groans, loud and broken, his hips jerking as he cums again, another hot rush filling you, spilling out around him.
âfuckâlook at that mess,â he pants, his hand smearing the slick between your legs, rubbing it into your skin. âall for me.â
but heâs not done. he pulls you back to the bed, laying you on your side, one leg hooked over his arm as he slides back in, his cock still hard, slick with your cum and his. âone more,â he begs, his voice cracking, his glasses crooked. âgimme one more, baby. need to feel you again.â
he thrusts slow, deep, his hand slipping between your legs to tease your oversensitive clit, and youâre crying, tears streaming, your body shaking from the intensity. he bites your neck, leaving marks, and whispers, âlove it when you cry for me. so fuckinâ loud, just how i like it.â
he shifts, rolling you onto your stomach, keeping you pinned as he fucks you into the mattress, his hand pressing your face into the sheets. âgonna cum all over you,â he growls, his thrusts turning sloppy, desperate. âgonna fill you up till youâre leaking me for days.â
you cum again, a shuddering, broken mess, your sobs muffled against the pillow, your body convulsing as you squirt again, weaker but still enough to soak the sheets. he cums with you, a third time, his groan hoarse, his hips stuttering as he spills inside you, the mess dripping out, pooling under you.
âfuckâbabyââ he gasps, his voice wrecked, his body shaking as he collapses against you, his glasses falling off completely, clattering to the floor.
âmine now,â he whispers, hoarse and ruined, his forehead pressed to your back, his breath hot and uneven. âyouâre mine now.â
you nod, too spent to speak, your body limp, your reflection in the mirror a blur of tears and gloss and him, the phone still recording every ragged breath, every whispered âfuckâ as he pulls you closer, not letting go.
but then silence swells, heavy and slow, filling the room like a fog. the airâs thick with the aftermathâsweat, cum, and the lingering sweetness of your perfume, still clinging to the sheets, to him.
satoruâs hands tremble where they hold you, one slipping down to fumble with his phone, stopping the recording with a clumsy tap, the other pressing flat against your stomach, grounding him, grounding you. your breaths are too loud, ragged and uneven, syncing in the quiet like a metronome.
he leans away slightly, just enough to grab a towel from the edge of your bed, awkward in the afterglow like he just realized he desecrated a temple. his glasses are gone, lost somewhere in the mess of sheets, and his hairâs a disaster, sticking to his forehead, damp with sweat.
âshit,â he mutters, voice barely above a whisper, too quiet for the boy who was growling filth ten minutes ago. âdid iâi mean. that wasnât too much, right?â thereâs a crack in his tone, a flicker of panic, like heâs replaying every thrust, every slap, every sobbed moan he pulled from you.
you donât answer at first, too dazed, too wrung out, your body still humming from the overstimulation, your thighs sticky and trembling.
your silence makes him spiral.
âfuck, i knew it. i pushed too hard. i got carried awayâi was recordingâfuckâi didnât even askââ his words tumble out, frantic, his hand raking through his hair as he sits up, eyes wide, searching your face for any sign of regret.
you turn to face him, slow and sore, your cheek pillowed against your arm, the motion making your body ache in the best way. your eyes are still wet, lashes clumped with tears, lips kiss-bruised and sticky with half-worn gloss, swollen from his teeth. you stare at himâthis boy, this dork, with his mussed-up hair and the panicked look of someone who just lived out a lifelong fantasy and now doesnât know what to do with it.
âiâm okay,â you say, your voice shredded, raw from screaming his name. âjesus, iâm so okay.â
he exhales, a shaky rush of air, like heâs been holding it in for hours. he collapses back against you, burying his face in your neck, his lips brushing the bite mark he left earlier. âfuck, you scared me,â he mumbles, his voice muffled, warm against your skin. then, quieter, almost unhinged: âwe just speedran my entire hentai folder.â
you laugh, a weak, breathy sound that bubbles up despite the ache in your ribs. âi know.â
âi didnât even know i could,â he says, his voice small, like heâs confessing a sin. âi havenât even done that in vr.â
you snort, the sound catching in your throat. ânerd.â
he groans, but itâs not annoyedâitâs mortified, the kind of sound that comes from knowing heâs exposed himself completely. âiâm never gonna recover from this. i glossed you like a fuckinâ bratz doll. i glossed you.â his hand gestures vaguely at your lips, still shiny and smeared, and you laugh again, the sound softer now, your body too tired for anything more.
you roll over fully, tugging him down into the blankets with you, the pastel sheets tangling around your legs. he follows like a kicked puppy, his head resting on your chest, his breath warm against your skin. you can feel his heart still racing, his body still trembling from the high.
âi just,â you mumble, your voice barely audible, âwanted you to notice me. back during the group project, you never looked at me. just your laptop. even when i wore that stupid short skirt.â
he goes silent, his fingers pausing where theyâre tracing lazy circles on your hip. then, in a voice so small it barely carries: ââŚyou wore that for me?â
you nod, your cheek brushing his hair.
he lets out the tiniest, most violated gasp, like youâve just rewritten his entire reality. âi thought you were just one of those girls who always looked hot. like, default setting.â his voice cracks on the last word, and you canât help the teasing smile that tugs at your lips.
âno,â you say, your tone playful despite the exhaustion. âi was trying to seduce the dumbass with the mecha desktop background.â
he muffles a sob into your chest, half-laugh, half-groan, his arms tightening around you. âi love mechaâŚâ he says, like itâs the most tragic thing in the world, and you hum, stroking his hair, your fingers catching in the sweaty strands.
âi know.â
a long pause settles over you, the kind that feels like it could stretch forever. the fairy lights twinkle softly, casting shadows across the room, and your perfume lingers, mixing with the musk of sex. his breathing slows, but he doesnât let go, his body still pressed to yours like heâs afraid youâll vanish.
then he lifts his head, his eyes serious, stripped of the wild edge they had before. âcan i⌠hold you properly? not likeâyâknowâbreeding press. like, real holding.â his cheeks flush, like heâs embarrassed to admit he wants something soft after all that.
âyou already folded me in half like a love letter,â you whisper, but you shift into his arms anyway, letting him pull you close. he wraps around you, tight, needy, his hands trembling like heâs still processing youâre real, not just pixels on a screen. his hold is desperate, like heâs trying to memorize the shape of you, every curve, every soft inch, in case this never happens again.
âdonât make fun of me,â he says, his voice muffled against your shoulder. âi think my crush on you just speedran into obsession.â thereâs a rawness to it, a confession that feels too big for the quiet, but it lands soft, like heâs finally letting it out.
âyouâre the one who begged for one more while crying into my shoulder,â you tease, your voice barely above a whisper, your fingers tracing the line of his jaw.
âstop,â he groans, burying his face deeper, his arms tightening like he could squeeze the embarrassment out of himself. âiâm gonna die.â
you press a kiss to his forehead, slow and deliberate, your lips lingering on his sweaty skin. âyouâre not gonna die,â you say, your tone soft but firm. âyouâre gonna eat me out on friday and wear your glasses while you do it.â
he whimpers, a pathetic, needy sound, his hips twitching involuntarily against your thigh. âsay less,â he mumbles, his voice wrecked, but thereâs a spark in it, like youâve just lit something in him again. you giggle, wrapping your leg around his waist, pulling him closer, your skin sticking to his in the humid air.
and in the quiet, as youâre both drifting offâsore, sticky, still catching your breathâhe says it again. not ruined this time, not even possessive. just low. certain. like heâs already planning his next sin.
âmine.â
you donât answer. just smile into the pillow, heart pounding. because maybe you are. and maybe youâll let him prove it again.
especially once he finds out what cosplay you ordered last week.
fridayâs going to be filthy.
500 days of you ââ .⌠spiderman! gojo x reader ch. 1
pairing . academic rivals spiderman! gojo x reader
summary ⚠࣪ Ë being at the top of your class for the past few years has not been a problem for you at all, that is until he transfers in, stealing away your spot with his genius intellect and annoyingly good 4.5 gpa, better than your 4.0, all while wearing that stupid grin you just want to punch off. what's worse is he also happens to be the cities hero, in who you fall in love with, unknowing to who was under the blue mask.
warnings ËËË college au, academic rivals to lovers, eventual smut, gojo is a pervert, panty
stealing, dry humping, a bit of angst, hurt/comfort, sexual harassment, toxic relationship with family, unhealthy diet, fluff, set in new york like any other spiderman, female reader, p in v, oral, reader is a virgin, violence, gojo is full of himself, webs used.. inappropriately.
playlist ⢠500 days of you
wc . 5.4k
a/n . yes the title is based on 500 days of summer i was watching it while writing ..
500 days is all you have left until you graduate. according to your calendar that you have self made, placed neatly beside your bed so you could cross each day as it passes with your pink highlighter, you have exactly two years. today, december 20, marks your first day of long awaited winter break in which you desperately needed after enduring what you believe was the worlds hardest final exam for your humanized and social science class.
your roommate has decided to take this time to go visit her family back at her hometown, to spend a few days with her family wrapped in a comforting warm and cozy atmosphere alongside whatever her family provides. but you chose to stay behind, not that you had anymore exams to finish up or anything, but because going back to see your family, if you could even call them one, wasn't even an option. your relationship with them wasn't abusive or anything, just strained, always putting your brother's needs before yours. that's part why you picked the farthest college you could away from them, an entire different timezone.
you wouldn't call it running away, because that implies fear, you'd just call it more of a extraction. a nice and peaceful separation. sure, they reach out once in a while, but you always come up with excuses on the spot to end the call early. they barely knew that much about you, hell, they didn't even know which college you were going to even your plan in majoring in physics until a month before you left.
nyu is a beautiful campus, not traditional in any way, it bleeds right into the city. any spot there would be perfect to study, and well you didn't have anything to do for the next two weeks so a little studying before the next semester even starts. so with that you made your way over to your locker which was a brief fifteen minute walk away from your dorm.
you don't mind the walk, no rush, no crowds. the usual buzz of students chirping has died down. its not a eerily type of quiet, its peaceful. the faint sound of your footsteps echoed throughout the almost empty hallway. reaching your neatly decorated locker, you opened it unaware of the person right next to you, the door swung right into them.
"shit-"
your eyes widened as you saw the persons books fall right out their hands.
"oh my god im so sorry! I didn't see you there!" you immediately crouched down to pick of the several textbooks, most of them being physics for semester two. it wouldn't be a surprise if the owner of these books would be in the same class as you. "its alright" the mysterious person chuckled as they took away the books from your hands.
your eyes widened as they landed on them. or him, actually. he had beautiful bright blue eyes that for sure held every secret of the ocean, and snowy white hair that resembled the snow that was falling right outside. you couldn't even get a word out.
"im Satoru." he said, waiting for you to give your name to him.
"right.. right. I mean- im y/n." you stumbled across your words. he gave you a crooked smile, almost naturally as he saw you stutter. his hands now itched onto his heavy physics books, tilting his head as he studied you. "you have any idea where mr. thompson's class is?" his smooth voice asked. mr. thompson. thats the name of your physics teacher.
"yeah! yeah he's my physics teacher!" that came out a bit more excited than you intended it to. "yeah? mind being an angel and leading me to it?"
you laughed softly, hoping the light pink tint on your cheeks weren't noticed by him. oh but they were. the awkward tension melted right away. "of course."
he didn't mind the blush, and the way his smile widened told you that he definitely noticed your blushing, but he didn't say anything about it, instead allowing you to show him the way around the campus. he fell into step beside you recalling how you as well had this course. "so.." he broke the silence, "you actually understand physics are you just one of those people who pretend to know what you're doing?"
you shook your head laughing a bit as your gaze fell down to your shoes against the pavement. "no, no I understand. im majoring in it so I kind of have to. but it honestly depends on the day, sometimes I feel like the textbook is gaslighting me" now it was his turn to let out a laugh. and it sounded genuine. "thats great. back at my old uni, people were only there for the credits or whatever. no one was really as passionate as I am." you gaze shifted to him. "oh, which school did you transfer from?"
"colombia university."
"is the lack of people taking physics seriously the reason for your transfer?" you asked half jokingly, but you wouldn't be surprised if that actually was the reason, you knew some people like that.
he sucked in a soft breath, eyes flickering from your figure to look forward. "no I just.. wanted a different environment I guess." there was a bit of hesitation in his voice, but you didn't push it. after all you just met this boy not even five minutes ago. you both finally reached mr. thompson's classroom, his door slightly ajar. "he should be in here.. he always is., im convinced he lives in there"
he hummed looking into the classroom, catching a glimpse of the bald headed man hunched over a stack of papers before looking down at you. "thank you, y/n. I hope we see each other in uh two weeks?" the way he said your name sent your butterflies on a rollercoaster.
"yeah.. yeah I hope so too." you said quietly which earned a sweet smile from him before he walked in to talk about whatever he needed to with the professor. with one final look at the door you turned, only to remember you didn't even grab your books, let alone close your locker which was the whole point you came out of your dorm. you quickly rushed back with the thought of the new student lingering in the back of your mind.
ââ .âŚ
in the blink of an eye, the break was over, and the dreadful second semester rolled right around the corner. the traumatizing sound of your alarm that was set at 7 on the dot woke you up for your 9 am physics class, slicing through the silence and especially your slumber.
you groaned, clicking repeatedly at your phone to shut the ear piercing sound off. for a second, you considered skipping. but you knew mr. thompson doesn't play no games, and neither did that syllabus. so you dragged yourself out of your bed, limbs heavy, and mind still foggy as you began to miss the warmth provided by your bed. the sky outside was still that dusty gray, soft flakes falling right out of it.
after making yourself a cup of coffee, you brushed out your hair to be somewhat socially acceptable. you were the top student of the school either way, you had to be presentable at all times. you threw on a jacket and a cute pair of pants before making your way out of your dorm, holding envy for your roommate for not having a morning class.
by the time you reached the lecture hall, well your body because your soul was still trapped in between your blankets, you noticed that you werent there first one there like always. your eyes landed on him.
satoru.
he was seated right there at the front of the class, his posture was excellent, back straight, shoulders relaxed, giving you another reason to like about him. his eyes were trained on his phone, with his earbuds blasting whatever he was listening to in his ears. but they shifted as you walked in, and when your eyes met, a soft smile appeared on his pink tinted lips making your chest feel just a little too full.
maybe the second semester didn't seem so dreadful at all.
"hey.." he took out an earbud out of his ear as you approached, sliding in the seat right next to him. "hi" you replied, placing your bag next to you. "glad we're in this class together. haven't really met anyone else since we talked."
"that so? not even your roommate?" you unconsciously fixed your hair to try and maybe woo him with your beauty. "oh actually i'm living in an apartment" your hand stopped playing with your hair.
"an apartment? in New York? the school is already bleeding us dry.. what are you, rich or something?"
that earned a chuckle from him, a quiet one that made your stomach flip. "yeah.. sure." he had a grin on his face, making you question if it was a joke or not. you both watched as more seats filled up with new and old students. but everyone was eventually startled when mr. thomspon walked in and slammed a textbook onto his desk.
"well I'd like to say im disappointed from last semesters final exam results." he began, a hint of amusement in his voice, "but id be lying."
a beat of silence.
"im proud to say that everyone passed." a relieved sigh escaped almost everyones mouths, echoing across the room. "and of course, ms. l/n, miss goody two shoes," you placed a hand on your chest in mock offense making satoru sniffle a laugh next to you. "you got the highest mark, like every year." he grumbled. "im starting to think you're just here to make everyone else feel bad about their grades."
"only slightly." you muttered under your breath, loud enough for satoru to hear. he turned a bit towards you. "lets see how long you stay up there, miss top of the class, until I snatch your spot."
you stared at him while he turned back to face the front. he was just joking right? I mean no one could steal away your spot. no one has for the past two years, and no one will. right?
ââ .âŚ
oh but you were wrong. oh so so so wrong.
this boy wasn't your new friend. he was your rival, like his whole existence was to take away everything you've worked hard for. he wasn't your soon to be charming lab partner or the cute guy you'd hang out with at a local cafe after class.
he was your academic nemesis.
it didn't hit you right away. not until the first quiz given to the class was passed back in which you got a 97% on. but once you saw a fucking 100% on satoru's paper circled in a horrid red ink, thats when it hit you. and the cherry on top was when mr. thompson grinned and leaned down to whisper, "looks like you've got competition." you stared at satoru like he had just murdered your family, not that you minded, but in a way he murdered your entire existence.
he looked at the paper, like he didn't even care that he passed, because to him this was normal. he caught your expression and was confused to see that the usual soft look on your pretty face was now replaced with pure wrath.
this wasn't just 480 days of school anymore.
this was war.
every time you raised your hand to answer a question, it was always outshined by satorus. damn him and his longer limbs. and every time, the professor would call on him.
every. single. time.
you even considered this being sexist. then satoru would answer correctly, of course. damn mr. thompson for finding this whole rivalry hilarious. like if your whole identity as "the smart one" wasn't practically being lit on fire in front of everyone right now. you felt the shift, and you heard the whispers of you being out throned. and what made this whole situation worse was that stupid charm that he offered you with, "im glad to be in physics with you." a lie.
a damn lie.
and you couldn't help but hate him for it every day, every higher mark, every time he got called on, and every time he smiled at you in the mornings or in the hallways thinking you two were still friends.
it didn't help that everyone practically loved him. girls slipped their numbers to him every other day, even undergraduates which you found disgusting. he did everything so effortless while you stayed up until 2 am re-reading lessons, burning through notebooks, killing your pens, and even pulling all nighters like kay chung for important upcoming exams, mistreating your body with more caffeine than you could handle to try and claw your way back up the top.
until eventually you burnt out.
you ignored every 'hello' coming from him or any stupid joke he'd come up with, you settled on a different seat away from him not having the guts to stare at him be better than you for another second. not while he thrived and you crumbled.
and it was like you were back at home, always being seen as the second option right after your brother. a man. of course the second you feel like you are finally worthy of something, someone has to take it away from you. but why now? why after two years in which you spent trying to escape that feeling, was everything going downhill? you weren't even sure if he was even aware of the harm he was causing you mentally and physically.
that he was undoing you without even trying.
but he did notice. he noticed how you stopped talking to him, saying hello or laughing at his jokes or even avoiding his gaze like if it would burn your eyes if you made eye contact, and it hurt because you were practically his only friend other than a boy he met in his calculus class. suguru geto, aka his 'man in the chair.' he always alarmed satoru discreetly whenever there was a bank robbery happening down the street. because not only was satoru now holding the title of the top student of nyu, but he was also the hero of manhattan.
"spiderman makes an unwanted appearance again last night," the news reporter said with her voice being more sharper than the bold lettering on the headline scrolling beneath her, "at a secluded alley near the 'sunny time up' bar, involving a man attempting to steal one of the employee's vehicle."
click.
"when will this vigilante wake up and realize that this job is for law enforcement"
click.
"he's a danger to the people of manhattan! this isn't a comic book, he's interfering with police work!"
every time you clicked on the remote to change channels, spiderman was everywhere. for someone the people claim to hate, he sure is the talk of the week.
"dude is like time square on new years.." you mumbled mostly to yourself.
"my father hates him." your roommate, wendy's father is the head of the police department. he's always complaining about he boy who hides away behind the blue mask, claiming that he is causing more trouble in the busy city. you gave a dry laugh. "your father hates everyone, including me" she sat on your bed next to you, holding a bag of chips in her hand which she offered you.
"I dont see why it's such a big deal. he does more than the police has done in the past five years. he's like what? our age? from what I have heard he is definitely not beyond his twenties." you stared at the video of him swinging across buildings, the sharp blue color of his suit making it hard to lose sight of him.
the color reminded you of satoru's eyes.
your mood suddenly shifted as you thought of him, your appetite was long gone as your stomach twisted in disgust. "how are you holding up with the whole academic rivalry thing."
"shut up." you grumbled.
"I feel like it's one sided, well from what i've heard from you." wendy's voice was quiet, but her words stung. because deep down, you have told yourself the same thing.
"its like he doesn't even try." you dragged your hand across your face as you stared at the textbooks on your desk before they shifted to the calendar right above it. 455 more days.
454 more days.
453 more days.
452 more days.
451 more days.
450 more days.
another school week has passed by. another week of avoiding his intense stare across the lecture hall. another week of hearing him laugh with that black haired boy that had way too many piercings on his face. another week of debating if anything was even worth it anymore.
you looked back up to your calendar, staring at that number written beneath the date. 450 more days until graduation! you got this! how many more days until everything will stop feeling so heavy.
how many more until you stopped caring.
but its like you couldn't even catch a break. your negative thoughts were interrupted by the vibration of your phone. you slowly dragged it out your back pocket before looking down at the called id.
mom.
you couldn't answer. not with your voice cracking or tears falling. you couldn't let them know that you were struggling the same way you were all your childhood and you especially couldn't give them that sense of pride in the way you were burning out. how could you tell them the pressure didn't go away but it only shifted from different mouths in different places. you couldn't handle hearing, "I told you so."
'just stay in state, I dont see why you have to move all the way to the other side of the world. you won't be able to handle it like your brother.'
'your brother stayed here in the same state, why can't you do the same? he visits us regularly!..'
shaking away the echoes of your parents voices, you watched the slow rise and fall of wendy's chest, and you quietly zipped up your jacket before sneaking out. fresh air was what you needed right now. it hit you like a reset button- the kind that clears your head. not caring where your feet took you, you made your way through the city.
the night was still alive, buildings lit up, parties at every corner you looked at, and other people walking as well. it did feel refreshing. until you heard it. a sharp, disgusting wolf whistle behind you. it was low and mocking. the city is big, its bound to have horrible beings. your steps didn't stop, your stomach twisted and you felt sick.
"hey where are you goin' sweetheart? you look delicious." the slurred voice behind you said. you didn't even have to look back to know what kind of man it was. your pace quickened, trying to reach a store or anything that had some sort of crowd. but the footsteps behind you didn't stop, they matched your speed and quickened.
this was exactly what your brother warned you about. being in such. huge city will only be more dangerous. you felt your throat drying up and you looked down at your shadows, seeing the mans hand reach for you. but before even his fingers could brush against you, a blur of blue and white appeared. there was a soft thud, a groan, then silence.
you slowly turned.
"hey," spiderman said calmly shooting a web right on the strangers face. "she's not interested." the man stumbled back, letting out a muffled yelp, fear overthrowing whatever he was on. he didn't even budge. your heart was still racing as you took in his muscular figure. and then he turned to face you. ".. now what are you doing outside at night, hm?" his voice shifted into a much softer one, like he was talking to a kid. you wanted to talk but you couldn't get a word out as you felt the heaviness in your throat as well as the weight you've been carrying from the past few months.
the way he stood was so familiar. "im sorry.." is all you could get out, you soft voice quivered which immediately sent his senses off. "hey, hey its alright why are you apologizing?" his large hands cupped your cheeks. despite them being gloved, they were warm and comforting. his thumbs swept under your eyes wiping away any incoming tears. "why are you apologizing?"
"I dont know.." you answered honestly. but the ache of not being enough was resurfacing. he let out a quiet breath at your answer. "thats okay.. you dont have to explain." his hands didn't move away from your face, in fact you found yourself leaning into his touch.
"let me take you home." he whispered. "..I live at the nyu dorms"
he nodded before dropping his hands to grab the back of your knees without any warning, picking you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. "hold on baby, okay?" your tired mind couldn't even process the pet name before allowing your arms to wrap around his neck, placing your head in the crook of it as well.
without another word, he laughed upward, shooting a web into the sky. the loud roaring of the wind as you both swung across building from building deafened your ears. gravity tugged at your stomach with every sharp dip and rise. you unknowingly shook in his hold, the hand that was holding you rubbed your back before settling to cupping the side of your thigh, dangerously close to your ass. "its okay, I got you."
his hand and feet stuck to the side of the dormitory building. "which dorm is yours angel?"
angel
that pet name reminded you of satoru. why is it that the smallest things reminded you of him? why does your mind insist in continuing to think about him. "... that one." you pointed to the window just two floors up and to the side, in which he crawled to, tightening his hold your plush thigh. he carefully slid the window open, crawling in.
"we're here.." he could barely get out before the soft click of a lamp lit up the room, revealing wendy who was staring at the both of you, holding onto each other rather intimately. your arms were still wrapped around his neck while his leg was pressed right in between yours, in the middle of placing you down.
your eyes widened as you stared back at wendy. "you're awake.." you whispered.
"you're with spiderman.." she stated the obvious. you and him were quiet, the silence louder than you wanted it to as you backed away from him. "I wake up to see you missing, assuming you probably went out to party, only to see you grinding on spider mans leg? oh my dad would hate you even more right now" the masked vigilante cleared his throat, his hand was still placed on your waist, not wanting to completely let go of you yet.
"I should.. get going." he murmured, before looking at you, not wendy. and behind the mask, you swore that for whatever reason he didn't want to leave.
"oh.. yeah uhm thank you, have I thanked you yet? whatever just.. thanks for everything." you stammered, scratching the back of your neck. with one final lingering squeeze on your waist, he pulled away. "any time." he then turned back to wendy. "can you tell your dad to stop trying to tase me?"
"nope." she furrowed her eyebrows.
"..worth a shot. take good care of your friend for me yeah?" he asked before leaving through the window, allowing the city to take him back. wendy's head sharply turned to look at you.
"what..?"
she blinked, once and twice and thrice. "you've got a lot of explaining to do." she grinned.
ââ .âŚ
"you just come back from patrolling?" suguru asked as his fingers moved quickly on his controller letting out a few curse words when his opponent did damage on him. "yeah.." satoru closed the window behind him, tugging off his mask letting his white locks spread out, making him look like a model. he threw it on his bed, making his was deeper into his apartment. "you can't just use my pc whenever you want to man." he grumbled as he watched suguru get a victory royale.
"hey, if im helping you out on your little 'hero' shit, I can play whenever the hell I want."
satoru undressed, pulling up some grey sweatpants, but staying shirtless. scars adorned his torso and chest. "guess who I ran into."
"uhh that crazy police guy that tried tasing you."
satoru shivered at the memory. "no thank god. it was y/n." suguru clicked off the game turning his full attention to his friend. "the chick you like?" the blue eyed boy nodded. "saved her from some drunk shit, took everything in me not to kill that bastard after seeing her cry."
"what happened then?"
"took her back to her dorm.. met her roommate as well. turns out she's the daughter of the head of the police department. anyways, y/n looks horrible.. like there's something going on with her."
"yeah its you. you stole away her spot of top student." suguru reminded him. "I didn't mean to!" satoru defended himself.
"her friend for sure is going to spread around the fact that she saw y/n with spiderman. talk to her about it." satoru thought about it. if he asked you if everything was okay with you after last night, maybe you'll start talking to him again.
one thing about wendy is that she can't keep anything to herself. suguru was right, your encounter with spiderman spread like wildfire. like full blown social media wildfire. your name was brought up in multiple group chats, tweets, even those dumb confession accounts on instagram.
"SPIDERMANS GOT A GIRLFRIEND LMFAOOO"
"yall hear y/n slept with spiderman?"
"what do they call baby spiders?"
you were speeding past everyone, heart racing like you were in a heist movie making your way to your next class before you were stopped. "hey.." the familiar voice cut through the air. satoru. "heard what happened last night.. everything okay?" he asked, noticing how thin your wrists were.
was this another one of his acts? "yeah.." you mumbled. "everything fine." you tried brushing it off but he wasn't having it. he raised an eyebrow before his hand placed right on your waist, the same spot spider mans hand was on. "talk to me. you ghosted me weeks ago.. did I say something or do something?"
dont act so innocent, you thought. of course he did something. "physics is just,, stressing me out I guess." which was partially true. his eyes travelled down your face, looking at your lips before his tongue darted out to lick his. "let me help you then."
despite the hatred you held for your rival, you missed him. sure you only talked a few times, but you missed talking to him, his dumb jokes and his dorky smile. "..okay" you agreed. "maybe later this week." and for the first time in what felt like forever, your chest felt light.
ââ .âŚ
your classes were finally over. with your bag placed over your shoulder, you made your way outside after deciding to pick up some sweet treats for both you and wendy, who you were still kind of annoyed at for spreading around your encounter with spiderman. you reached the warm welcoming bakery, picking out whatever looked delicious, chocolate cover croissants, blueberry muffins, and a few cream puffs before making your way to check out. the second you stepped out, the rain decided to make an appearance. one that you weren't prepared for.
you clutched onto the bag full of treats.
"you again?" the voice came from above you. you looked up, moving your dripping wet hair to get a closer look. there he was, perched upside down from a streetlight. "..here to save me from the rain?" you asked half jokingly. he hummed, flipping down to land right in front of you. "of course baby. wouldn't want you to get sick.."
his arms wrapped around your waist before shooting a web straight up the roof of the bakery, pulling you both off the ground. you let out a little yelp holding onto both him and the pastry bag. seconds later you both were outside the window of your dorm, before he effortlessly opened it up placing you on your bed. your shirt rose up a little exposing your cute little spiderman boxers.
"is that me?" he asked tracing the waistband that had his heroine name in bold letters. your breath hitched. you completely forgot about those, or even buying them let alone wearing them today. both you and wendy went shopping a couple days back, going into the kids section and jokingly buying each a pair of spiderman undies.
'hey you should wear these to thank him.' she snorted
'eat shit.'
your hand shot out to push his away, chuckling nervously. "okay thats enough.." but he was faster, he grabbed your wrist forcing it to be on your mattress before his other gloved hand tugged up his mask enough to expose his mouth. his jawline was sharp, and those pink lips.. your eyes widened as you looked up at him. "ah.. spiderman?" he brought said hand up to his mouth, his teeth pulling off his glove before spitting it out somewhere else.
"nah.. let me see this." he pulled up your shirt, showing off your midriff, as well as pulling your pants down to your knees. "mm yeah thats me alright.." you felt your heart pounding in your ears. his tongue darted out to lick your stomach.
"spider-man..!" you gasped. he looked up at you, wanting to savor this moment. as if he wanted to memorize this exact version of you.
"never thought I'd be someones fashion statement." he moaned as he saw the wet patch starting to form. his thumb placed itself right on it. "this alright..?" he wanted you bad, but he also wanted you to be okay with this. you nodded looking up at him with a look that just drove him crazy.
his rubbing continued before he pulled away pulling down just the lower half of his suit. "its hard as hell to hide my dick in this shit." he grumbled.
oh.
oh.
he was huge. like really, really big and heavy, it couldn't even stand up correctly. he fisted his cock a few times, watching his pre- cum ooze out before placing it right on your clothed cunt. you wrapped your legs around his torso, bringing him closer in. "thats it." he groaned slowly rocking into you. your body shook with every hump of his hips, the wet patch in your spidey briefs grew bigger. his hands traveled throughout your body, hot and rough as two fingers found their way into your mouth, forcing you to lick them. "good girl, get them nice and wet for me baby."
his voice was low and dripping with arousal. he brought his head closer to your face. you whimpered softly as your hands tugged at his suit, your legs that were still wrapped around him trembled. "wearing these and you expect me not to ruin you?" he moaned as he dipped a finger into the pouch that every boxer had, feeling how much you wanted him. the two fingers that were toying with your tongue left with a loud pop before his lips found yours in a sweet but messy kiss.
just before he could release his hot seed onto you, there was a knock at the door.
"y/nnnn! let me in I forgot my keys!" damn wendy. spiderman sighed pecking your lips one more time before he pulled back, sliding down his mask. he reached for the glove he threw away as well as his lower part of his suit. "ill be taking these as well.." he murmured ripping off your briefs, which had you cringing at the sound, exposing your cunt to the cold air. "ill see you around okay, darling? thank you for this, such an angel."
and with that he left. leaving you with no release and nothing covering your lower half.
"y/n!" wendy knocked again.
"coming!"
oh you wish you were.
ending note . hope you all enjoyed chapter 1 !!
classmate!gojo part 3!
classmate!gojo who has been watching you from afar for the past week now. His eyes are always gravitating towards you in class, trying to catch any other possible connection. Heâs try so hard to convince himself that youâre not his mystery girl, but at this point he should just accept it. The photo of your nails was proof enough, not to mention how much of a rush you were in. Neither of you have texted or exchanged photos since then, and heâd be lying if he said it wasnât driving him crazy. Every single day since then he canât get you off of his mind, getting so hard from the thought of you that he has to sneak away to rub one out to your pictures or videos. He just canât help himself.
He watches you in class, in the cafe area, even sees you walking on campus, doing normal things. He would have never guessed in a million years you were the one he sought after so badly. You hide it so well. But he knows deep down under that good girl persona you have, thereâs a slut waiting to caught, waiting to be fucked and used like you told him all those times over text. Heâll make you break. He sees you sitting on a bench on campus just scrolling through your phone, knowing this is the perfect time to execute his plan.
He finally breaks contact, sending you a video he took of himself last night.
gojo: i miss you
it was simple, but he was hoping itâd work. He watches intently, a small smile spreading across your face, though heâs unsure if itâs because of him
gojo: send me something, yeah? miss seeing you, baby
and like clock work, he sees you get up, heading towards the bathrooms inside one of the campus buildings. What else to do but follow. He sees you slip into the bathroom, and now he finally has you where he wants you.
you enter the bathroom, riddled with excitement that he finally texted you. Maybe he didnât catch on that you were the one sending him photos. Good, it means you can have more fun. You enter the stall, replaying the video of him jerking off, putting the phone close to your ear so you can his moans. You smile, your hands finding themselves under your skirt, rubbing your clit through your clothed pussy. Little do you know heâs standing right outside the door, waiting for you.
You unbutton your shirt and grab onto your tits, massaging them in your hand while you send him a video. Quickly, you send him another of your wet panties, still rubbing your clit.
you: missed you too. can you tell?
and gojo canât believe it when he receives the videos, chuckling to himself at how slutty you can be. He saves the videos nonetheless and puts his phone back in his pocket, the bathroom door opening, you walking out, completely caught off guard. Your heart thumps against your chest, mouth hanging open like you want to say something but nothing is coming out. All you know is that you canât stop staring at him. Heâs smirking at you, eyeing like a piece of candy as he moves closer towards you, leaning over to whisper in your ear, âI know youâre little secret.â Youâre frozen, unable to do a thing. You couldnât even deny it at this point. âGive em to me,â he demands.
âW-what?â You blink, voice barely above a whisper. He moves back, a smug smile on his stupidly pretty face. God, he smells so good. And his whispering? Youâre even more wet than before. He knows what heâs doing to you.
âYour cute little panties. Give them to me.â Heâs so casual about it and makes you even more nervous yet more intrigued. You turn to go back into the bathroom but he grabs your arm. âNo, no, no. Do it right here.â
âButââ you look around to see if anyone else is around.
âWhat? Scared of getting caught? Sure werenât thinking about that when you sent me all these videos and pictures. So, hand them over.â He watches as you slightly bend over, reaching under your skirt and gently pulling your panties down, letting them fall to your ankles. You sheepishly pick them up, theyâre coated in your slick, an embarrassing sight. He grabs them from you, chuckling at the wet stain. âWasnât so hard, right?â He shoves them into his back pocket.You shake your head no, unable to keep eye contact with him. All the confidence you had over text has completely disappeared in the presence of him. What were you even thinking? Heâs Gojo Satoru. âThank you for these, baby.â He steps closer towards you, cornering you against the wall. âSend me something else later on tonight. Oh, and make sure to stop hiding that pretty face of yours too, okay? I wanna see everything.â He grabs your chin, tilting it up so you were looking at him.
âWhy donât you just fuck me already? Weâve both been waiting long enough,â you abruptly ask. It was taking everything in you not to drop on your knees and let him fuck your face.
âI can fuck you right here if I wanted to. You know howâve riled up youâve gotten me for all these weeks? I get so hard thinking about you that it hurts. I canât fucking cum if it doesnât involve you. Youâve taken over my mind, made me go on this chase to figure out who you were. So, if I wanna make you wait a little more, then Iâll fucking do it.â He gritted his teeth, gripping your chin slightly tighter. âRemember, only good girls get rewarded.â He smirked, pulling away from you before walking out of the building like nothing happened.
previous part
summary : you and satoru have always been somethingânever labeled, never defined. from jujutsu high to stolen rooftop kisses, your dynamic is a mess of healing hands, half-confessions, and his infuriating habit of getting hurt just to keep your attention.
but when the weight of loss and pride tears you apart, you walk awayâuntil fate (and a tiny, pink-backpack-wearing menace) drags you back into his orbit six years later.
tags â> canon divergence au, fluff, angst, humor, hurt/comfort, unlabeled relationship, grovelling satoru, secret child trope, reunions, miscommunications, second chances, happy ending for my own sanity
series masterlist. | other works here. | next.
you and satoru gojo have always been something.
itâs just never been labeled.
from the moment you met at jujutsu high, heâs been a persistent force in your lifeâloud, overbearing, impossible to ignore. he pokes and prods, worms his way under your skin, grinning all the while like he knows exactly what heâs doing. and maybe he does. because despite your best efforts, despite the way you roll your eyes when he drapes himself over you or tugs at your sleeves like a child craving attention, you never really push him away.
itâs not just him, though.
because when he gets himself banged up on missionsâwhen he returns with blood crusted at the edges of his uniform, bruises forming along his jaw, the scent of battle clinging to his skinâyouâre always the first to reach for him. your hands glow with soft, golden light, the warmth of your cursed energy threading into his wounds, coaxing his body to knit itself back together. petals flicker at your fingertips, dissolving into faint sparks of vitality as you work, the remnants of your technique blooming in the air between you.
âyouâre reckless!â you snap one evening, pressing your palm firmly against his shoulder where a deep gash is slowly knitting itself back together under your touch. his uniform is torn, the edges stiff with dried blood, and you can feel the way his muscles twitch beneath your fingers, still tense from the battle. âyou always do this. you push yourself too far, like you think youâre invincibleââ
âwell,â satoru interrupts, flashing a toothy grin, his glasses pushed up just enough to reveal the brilliant blue of his eyes, âi kind of am.â
his voice is light, teasing, but you can feel the way heâs watching youâclosely, carefully, like heâs waiting for something. the smirk he wears is easy, practiced, but it doesnât quite reach his eyes, not when heâs tilting his head just slightly to the side, pressing into your touch like itâs the only thing anchoring him. and you hate that it works, that even now, even with blood still drying against his skin, he makes you want to soften. you press your fingers harder against his wound instead, ignoring the way he winces.
ânot funny,â suguru chimes in from across the room, his voice steady, edged with something like exasperation. heâs lounging on the couch, flipping through a magazine like heâs only half-listening, but you know betterâheâs watching, just like you are, waiting for satoru to take this seriously. âsheâs right, you know. if you keep acting like you canât get hurt, one day you will.â
âoh, come on,â satoru groans, tilting his head back against your lap dramatically, the weight of him pressing against your legs. his hair, messy from the fight, falls over his forehead in uneven strands, white against the deep red of his uniform. ânot you too.â
shoko, sitting cross-legged on the floor, exhales a slow stream of smoke from her cigarette, her eyes lidded with fatigue. âtheyâre not wrong,â she mutters, flicking her gaze toward you. thereâs something knowing in the way she looks at you, something amused. âyouâre enabling him, you know.â
you scoff, fingers glowing faintly as the last of his wound seals shut beneath your touch. the golden light of your cursed technique flickers briefly, petals of energy curling along his skin before fading. âi am not enabling him,â you argue, shaking your head. âiâm keeping him alive.â
âsee?â satoru grins, nudging your thigh with the back of his hand, the warmth of his skin bleeding through the fabric of your pants. âshe cares about me.â
shoko scoffs. âno oneâs arguing that.â
suguru finally glances up, closing his magazine with a quiet thud, something unreadable in his expression. âjust donât let him drag you down with him.â
your fingers still against satoruâs skin for just a fraction of a second, your breath catching in your throat before you shake your head, forcing yourself to keep moving. âas if.â
but suguru just hums, unconvinced.
and maybe he has a point.
because this is your dynamic: you take care of satoru, and he lets you. you worry, and he pretends thereâs nothing to worry about. he teases, you scold, he grins, you sigh. and beneath it all, something quiet lingers, something neither of you are willing to name.
and if he lets himself get wounded just once, just enough for you to heal himâif he lets a single well-timed hit slip past his defenses, allows an enemy to believe, for the briefest moment, that theyâve bested himâwell. thatâs his secret.
itâs calculated, precise, a game only he knows heâs playing. he times it perfectly, choosing the kind of wound that wonât alarm you too much, wonât make you furious enough to see through him. a shallow cut here, a bruised rib thereâjust enough to warrant your hands on him, to feel the warmth of your cursed energy bloom against his skin. because no one touches him like you do. no one else can.
youâre careful with him, always, even when youâre madâespecially when youâre mad. your fingers press firmly against his skin, your lips pressed together in concentration, a deep furrow between your brows that he finds himself staring at more often than he should. your cursed energy hums through him, soothing in a way nothing else ever is, wrapping around him like petals caught in the windâdelicate, fleeting, something he wants to hold in his hands but knows will slip through his fingers if he grips too tightly.
so he watches you, through half-lidded eyes, through lashes that are a little too long and glasses that slip just slightly down the bridge of his nose. he commits the moment to memoryâthe feel of you, the way you hover so close but never quite meet his gaze, like looking at him too long will make you realize something you donât want to. he wants you to realize it. he wants you to notice the way his breathing slows under your touch, the way he always finds a reason to lean just a little closer.
but you never do. or maybe you just pretend not to.
so he lets himself get hurt, just enough. lets himself have this, just for a little while longer. because if a single wound is the price for your hands on him, for the way you fuss and scold and heal him all the same, thenâwell. thatâs a price heâs more than willing to pay.
but then, one summer night, something shifts.
itâs lateâtoo late to be sneaking around campus, but thatâs never stopped him before. the air is thick with the lingering warmth of the day, cicadas humming lazily in the distance. the two of you are perched on the roof of the dorms, your legs dangling over the edge, the wind stirring your hair as you watch the city lights flicker beyond the trees. itâs peaceful, or at least it should be, but satoru is shifting beside you, too fidgety, too present, like heâs itching to say something but hasnât quite figured out how.
âso.â he nudges you with his elbow, his sunglasses pushed up into his hair, silver strands catching in the glow of the moon. his eyes, unshielded, are startlingly bright even in the dim light, a vivid cerulean that traps every flicker of movement like a kaleidoscope. âyou like anyone?â
you glance at him, raising an eyebrow, unimpressed. âwhat?â
he grins, but thereâs something a little too deliberate about it, the corner of his mouth curling just so. âyou know. anyone in particular? anyone special?â
itâs meant to be casual. lighthearted. but thereâs something just beneath the surface, something careful and quiet in the way heâs looking at you. his fingers tap idly against his knee, his posture loose, but you can feel the tension coiled just beneath his skin, like heâs holding his breath.
you hum, pretending to think, tilting your head slightly. âmaybe.â
his grin widens, but it doesnât quite reach his eyes. âyeah?â
âyeah.â you tap your fingers against the edge of the rooftop, the faintest flicker of cursed energy sparking at your touch, like an afterthought. the air shifts, charged with something unspoken, something weightier than the teasing banter youâre used to. âheâs a pain in the ass, though.â
âmust be a great guy.â his voice is light, but thereâs an edge to it, something strained and expectant.
âoh, he is.â you glance at him out of the corner of your eye, watching the way his jaw tenses just slightly. his lips part like he wants to say something, but no words come. âexcept he never shuts up.â
ârude.â he gasps, pressing a hand to his chest in mock offense, his other hand bracing against the rooftop beside you. heâs closer now, close enough that you can feel the warmth of him, the faint brush of his knee against yours. âi am a fantastic listener.â
you snort. âsure, satoru.â
but heâs still watching you, still leaning just a little too close, his breath feather-light against your skin. the glow of the city lights flickers in his eyes, catching on the sharp angles of his face, softening the usual mischief in his expression into something quieter, something almost careful. his lips part like he wants to say something, but he hesitates, tongue flicking out to wet them before he closes his mouth again. his fingers twitch against the rooftop, curling and uncurling like heâs resisting the urge to reach for you, like the only thing keeping him still is the weight of whatever heâs holding back.
and then, just as youâre about to look awayâ
âyou know,â he says, voice softer now, like heâs testing the weight of his own words, âif you did like me, i wouldnât mind.â
your breath catches, the warmth of the night suddenly pressing too close, thick and stifling against your skin. cicadas drone in the distance, but the sound barely registers, drowned out by the rushing in your ears, the quickening of your pulse. the wind stirs your hair, cool against the heat creeping up your neck, but it does nothing to ground you when heâs right there, close enough that you can see the way his lashes flutter, the way his throat bobs as he swallows. the moment stretches, fragile and precarious, balanced on the edge of something neither of you can quite name.
he shrugs, tilting his head like it doesnât mean anything, like he hasnât just shifted the entire atmosphere between you. âi think weâd be good together.â the words are light, almost offhand, but his fingers betray him again, tightening into fists against his knees before forcing themselves to relax. his lips twitch at the corners, not quite a smile, not quite a smirkâsomething caught between expectation and defense, bracing himself for whatever comes next. the confidence in his voice doesnât match the way his body betrays him, and it hits you thenâheâs nervous.
your heartbeat quickens, hammering against your ribs, the weight of his words settling into your chest with something sharp and dizzying. you swallow, throat suddenly dry, fingers pressing against the rooftop like you need something to hold onto. âis that so?â your voice is steadier than you expect, but thereâs something uncertain about the way it lingers between you, something questioning, something hopeful.
âyeah.â his gaze doesnât waver, doesnât drop, doesnât shift away like heâs waiting for you to call his bluff. he leans in, just barely, just enough for his knee to brush yours, for his breath to ghost against your cheek, for the air between you to thin into nothing. âit is.âÂ
heâs waiting. you could push him away, laugh it off like you always do. you could pretend this is just another one of his games.orâ
you let the moment stretch, your fingers tightening in your lap, cursed energy sparking faintly against your skin. the world narrows, the sound of the cicadas fading, the city lights blurring at the edges of your vision. and then, before you can second-guess yourself, before you can let yourself hesitate, you lean in, pressing your lips to his.
he makes a small sound of surpriseâquickly swallowed by the way he cups your face, the way he kisses you like heâs been waiting forever. his hand slips to the nape of your neck, fingers tangling in your hair, his touch warm and sure. he leans into you, pressing closer, like he wants to drown in the moment, like he wants to lose himself in you.
and maybe he does.
because the next thing you know, heâs pulling you into his lap, arms wrapping around your waist, his grip possessive in a way that makes your breath hitch. his infinity is off, the faint hum of his technique gone, and itâs only then that you realizeâhe wants this. wants to feel you, every point of contact, every shiver that runs through you as he presses open-mouthed kisses to your jaw, your throat, your collarbone.
âsatoru.â you murmur, fingers curling against his chest.
he exhales a shaky laugh, his forehead resting against yours. âjust let me have this.â he whispers, and for once, thereâs no teasing lilt to his voice. no cocky bravado. just quiet, aching sincerity.
the night stretches on, the cicadas singing their endless summer song, and somewhere between the tangled sheets and the soft, breathless laughter, you thinkâmaybe heâs been waiting for you, too.
after that night, everything changes.
not all at onceâat first, itâs subtle. the way satoru lingers a little too long when he passes you in the hallways, his fingers ghosting against your wrist before he pulls away like it never happened. the way he leans in when you speak, as if he needs to hear every single word, as if your voice is something he canât go without. the way his gaze finds you in a crowded room, even when youâre not looking back, even when you pretend you donât feel it burning into your skin.
but then, it happens again.
it happens when he grabs your wrist after training, dragging you away before you can protest, his grip loose but insistent. âcome on, letâs go. training is boring, and itâs not like you need itâyou already have a god-given talent. or, well, a you-given talent, i guess.â he flashes that insufferable grin, the one that makes it impossible to say no, the one that makes it feel like youâre the only one who matters. his thumb brushes over the inside of your wrist before he lets go, like heâs reluctant to lose the contact. like heâs testing a boundary neither of you are willing to acknowledge.
it happens when he shoves a half-melted ice cream into your hands, his own already half-eaten, a smudge of chocolate at the corner of his mouth. âi got your favorite,â he says, like itâs nothing, like he didnât memorize the exact flavor you picked out the last time. and when you reach out with your thumb, swiping the chocolate away, his mouth closes over your finger without hesitationâlips warm, tongue flickering against your skin, blue eyes watching your reaction like heâs waiting for you to flinch.
but you donât.
it happens when you end up pressed against the side of a vending machine, his hands braced on either side of you, his breath warm against your cheek. the fluorescent lights flicker, his sunglasses slipping just low enough for you to see his eyesâhalf-lidded, unreadable, something unspoken resting just behind them. he tilts his head, his lips brushing against yours, not quite a kiss, but close enough that it feels like one. and when you let out a slow, shaky breath, his fingers skim against your waist, trailing up the fabric of your uniform, just light enough to make you shiver.
it happens when he sneaks into your dorm after curfew, flopping onto your bed like he owns it, his hair messy from the wind, the scent of the night still clinging to his clothes. âmove over,â he complains, but heâs already pressing against your side, already hooking his chin over your shoulder, already making himself at home in your space like he belongs there. and when you sigh, when you give in, he grins against your skin, his hand slipping beneath the hem of your shirt like itâs the most natural thing in the world.
and then, it just keeps happening.
but it also happens in other ways.
like when you fall asleep in class, forehead pressed against your arm, and you wake up to find his jacket draped over your shoulders, the faintest trace of his scent lingering in the fabric. you donât mention it, donât thank him, but the next time he dozes off, you tug your scarf loose and wrap it around his neck, watching the way his lips twitch in something like satisfaction even in sleep.
or when he holds his umbrella over your head instead of his own when it rains, his hair dripping wet, grinning like an idiot when you call him stupid. âwhat? i have my own built-in defense system,â he teases, tapping his temple like heâs making a point. but he doesnât turn infinity on, not once, even when the water beads against his skin, soaking through his shirt. even when you huff and tug him under the umbrella properly, even when he bumps his shoulder against yours and murmurs, âsee? you do care.â
or when he shoves a handful of candies into your pocket, grinning when you shoot him a confused look. âi know you like these.â he says, voice light, offhanded, like it isnât something he noticed just from watching you. later, you find a small sticky note tucked between them, a doodle of himself with his tongue sticking out, with tiny scribbled words beneath: for when you miss me. you will.
itâs not a relationship, not exactly. neither of you say anything about it, neither of you try to define it. but thereâs a shift between you now, something thick and heavy in the air, something that settles in the pit of your stomach whenever he looks at you like that.
like heâs waiting for you to stop him.
like he knows you wonât.
and when it happens againâwhen his lips finally, finally press against yours, when his weight settles over you, pinning you down in a way that makes your breath hitchâthereâs no hesitation. thereâs no teasing remark, no cocky grin, just the warmth of his hands on your skin, just the quiet hum of satisfaction when you pull him closer. he doesnât turn infinity on, doesnât keep any distance between you, lets himself feel you completely, like some lovesick idiot. like he wants to remember exactly how this moment feels, how you feel.
shoko notices first.
itâs not even subtleâthe way she leans back against the schoolâs rooftop railing, cigarette dangling from her lips, eyes half-lidded in amusement as she watches you fuss over satoruâs scraped knuckles. heâs practically melting under your touch, his head tilting slightly as if heâs trying to press more into your palm without making it obvious. youâre focused, brows drawn together, lips pursed in mild annoyance at his carelessness, but your hands are gentle, fingers skimming over his skin with practiced ease. his long legs are stretched out in front of him, his glasses perched low on his nose, letting you see the way his bright blue eyes soften when they flicker up to meet yours.
âso, are you two, like⌠a thing?â shoko asks, lazily exhaling a puff of smoke, watching the way satoruâs mouth twitches at the question.
âno,â you say immediately, your voice firm, but at the same time, satoru hums, âhmm, maybe?â
your head snaps toward him, brows raising in disbelief, while he merely grins like he expected this reaction. his free hand comes up to push his sunglasses up properly, but the motion is slow, languid, like heâs trying to keep his grin hidden behind his palm. shoko lets out a snort, flicking the ash off the tip of her cigarette, unimpressed.
âyeah, okay.â
suguru is quieter about it, but he doesnât need to say anything. itâs in the way his gaze lingers when satoru drapes himself over you, in the way his lips twitch like heâs holding back a knowing smile whenever you roll your eyes but donât push satoru away. when satoru unceremoniously drops himself onto your lap one afternoon, long limbs sprawling across the bench, suguru doesnât comment. he just looks at you, looks at the way your fingers absently thread through satoruâs hair, the way his lashes flutter at the contact, and he knows.
âyouâre really serious about her, huh?â suguru muses one evening, when itâs just the two of them on the rooftop, the sky bleeding into shades of deep purple and burnt orange.
satoru scoffs, stuffing his hands into his pockets, but thereâs no real bite to it. âwhatâs that supposed to mean?â
suguru only shrugs, turning his gaze toward the horizon, the wind ruffling his dark hair. ânothing. just wondering.â
but if thereâs one thing about suguru, itâs that he doesnât wonder about things unless he already knows the answer.
still, life goes on. there are missions, there are late-night walks, there are stupid jokes and stolen glances and moments where the world feels like itâs standing still, like it will always be this way. satoru still rests his chin on your shoulder when heâs bored, still tugs on your sleeve when he wants your attention, still lets his infinity down when you touch him. suguru still watches with quiet amusement, still nudges satoruâs foot under the table when he gets too obvious, still exchanges glances with shoko that say this idiot is hopeless. everything feels steady, like nothing could possibly go wrong.
until it does.
until riko amanai dies. until satoru comes back from that mission lookingâdifferent.
his presence is still overwhelming, still too much, but thereâs something sharp underneath it now, something cold that wasnât there before. his shoulders are broader, his stance heavier, his hands looser at his sides, like heâs more aware of their power now. heâs grinning, like always, like nothingâs changed, but it doesnât reach his eyesânot really. the endless blue of them looks deeper now, like a well with no bottom, like something in him has caved in and been swallowed whole. heâs stronger, untouchable, but suddenly, it feels like heâs farther away than heâs ever been.
and worse than thatâsuguru is slipping.
you feel it before you fully understand it. the way his voice is quieter, the way his patience wears thinner, the way he sighs more often, rubbing a hand over his face like heâs tired in a way that sleep wonât fix. his words become sharper, his glances more distant, and when you reach for himâwhen you try to hold onto whatever is still leftâhe only offers you a fleeting smile, a ghost of what it used to be.
one day, you watch satoru and suguru stand side by side, just like alwaysâjust like they always have. satoru is saying something, something cocky and arrogant and so typically him, but suguru doesnât bite back the way he used to. he just listens, nods absently, something unreadable flickering in his expression. and for the first time, it feels like thereâs a canyon between them, a chasm that wasnât there before, widening with every passing second.
you donât know it yet, but things will never be the same again.
one year passes.
twelve months, fifty-two weeks, three hundred and sixty-five daysâeach one dragging by in a haze, dissolving into the next like watercolors bleeding together. sometimes, satoru forgets where he is, what day it is, what he was supposed to be doing before his mind wandered again. everything feels muted, muffled, like heâs watching the world through a fogged-up window. time keeps moving, but nothing feels real.
suguru is gone.
satoru barely blinks when it happens. it should feel like somethingâsomething bigger, something louder, something that shakes the world the way it shakes his chest. but all he does is sit there, in the quiet aftermath of his best friendâs defection, listening to yagaâs words like theyâre coming from underwater. the room is too small, too tight, pressing against the edges of his skin, and yet heâs weightless, floating in some vast nothingness where things donât really matter. his fingers twitch, restless, aching for something to crush between them, but whatâs the point? if he destroys the walls, the floor, the entire goddamn building, it wonât bring suguru back. it wonât change a thing.
he doesnât remember leaving the room, but suddenly heâs outside, staring at the sky. itâs clear, painfully so, stars scattered across the darkness like someone thought to mock him with how vast it is. the wind tugs at his uniform, cool against his too-warm skin, and still, he doesnât feel anything. it doesnât make sense. none of it does. suguru wouldnât leave. suguru isâwasâhis other half, the one who understood him in ways no one else could. he has you, he has shokoâbut itâs not the same. it will never be the same. satoru is the strongest. the strongest doesnât lose things.
except now he has. and no matter how tightly he grips the edges of his own world, everything still slips through his fingers.
you find him there, quiet for once, his head tilted back as he watches the stars. the moonlight catches on his white hair, turning it almost silver, his sunglasses hanging loosely between his fingers. you donât say anything right away, just stand beside him, close enough that your shoulder almost brushes his. heâs grateful for that, the silent understanding, the way you donât push him to talk when he doesnât want to. but itâs youâyouâand eventually, your voice cuts through the thick, choking air.
âcome inside, satoru.â
he exhales sharply through his nose, shaking his head. ânot yet.â
you hesitate, then sigh, your fingers brushing over his sleeve. itâs light, barely there, but he still feels it. youâre real. thatâs something, at least.
âyou canât keep doing this.â
he doesnât know what you meanâstaring at the sky? ignoring everything? pretending suguru didnât leave?âbut he just laughs, a short, hollow sound, and grins at you like none of this matters. like he isnât crumbling under the weight of something he refuses to name. âdoing what?â
you donât smile back.
you donât say anything at all.
but your fingers tighten against his sleeve, just for a second, just enough for him to feel the warmth of you before you step away.
and he canâtâhe wonâtâlet that happen.
before you can take another step, his fingers close around your wrist, pulling you back toward him. itâs not gentle, but itâs not rough eitherâjust firm, desperate in a way he wonât let himself acknowledge. you stumble slightly, your palm landing against his chest, and he doesnât let you move away.
âdonât,â he says, barely above a whisper. his voice is raw, frayed at the edges, like heâs holding something back. his fingers tighten, his grip the only thing grounding him. ânot yet.â
your eyes search his, looking for something, anything, but he doesnât know what heâs supposed to give you. he only knows that he needs you to stay.
âsatoruâŚâ your voice wavers, and he hates itâhates that you sound like you pity him, hates that you might see him for what he really is. but you donât pull away.
his free hand lifts to your face, brushing against your cheek, barely there, like heâs afraid youâll disappear if he holds too tightly. you donât. you stay.
and then youâre kissing him. or maybe heâs kissing you. it doesnât matterâhe just knows that your lips are warm, that your hands clutch at his jacket, that heâs losing himself in the way you breathe against his mouth. itâs messy, uncoordinated, more about needing than anything else. he doesnât care.
he just wants.
it doesnât take long before heâs pushing you inside, backing you into his room, his grip never loosening. you let him. maybe you need this too. maybe you need something real just as much as he does.
itâs not love. not really. itâs a desperate, clumsy attempt to hold onto somethingâeach other, maybe, or just the pieces of a world thatâs slipping through both of your fingers. itâs the press of his body against yours, the way his hands shake against your skin, the way neither of you speak because thereâs nothing left to say.
when itâs over, you stay, your fingers tracing idle patterns against his skin. his arms are loose around you, his breathing slow, almost steady. but heâs not asleep. he wonât sleep. not tonight.
his grip tightens just slightly, like heâs afraid youâll vanish if he lets go. itâs unhealthy. he knows it. you do too. but neither of you move.
not yet.
a month later, you come to him late at night, standing in his doorway like youâre already bracing for a fight. your arms are crossed tight over your chest, fingers gripping at the fabric of your sleeves, like you need something to hold on to. your weight shifts from one foot to the other, hesitant, uncertain, like youâre not sure if you should even be here. but your eyesâyour eyes are worried. tired. heavy with something he canât quite name yet, but it makes his stomach twist all the same.
âsatoru, we need to talk.â
he groans, throwing himself back onto his bed like a petulant child, limbs sprawled carelessly across the sheets. his uniform jacket is crumpled beneath him, the collar tugging awkwardly at his neck, but he doesnât bother fixing it. instead, he throws an arm over his eyes, sighing dramatically. âugh, if this is about me skipping out on yagaâs stupid lectures againââ
âitâs not about that.â
your voice is clipped, firm in a way that makes his fingers twitch where they rest against his forehead. something in your tone makes him hesitate, but he doesnât sit up just yet, doesnât acknowledge the way his stomach knots at the sharp edge of it. instead, he props himself up on one elbow just enough to grin at you, lopsided and careless, blue eyes glinting in the dim light of his room. âthen what? are you finally confessing your undying love for me?â
you exhale sharply through your nose, pressing your lips together so tightly they pale at the edges. your jaw tightensânot in frustration, but in restraint, like youâre biting back words you canât afford to say. for the first time since you walked in, your gaze flickers away, dipping down toward the floor, then back up again. âsatoru.â
his smirk falters.
itâs barely noticeable, the shift so subtle that most people wouldnât catch itâbut youâre not most people, and you always notice. he covers it up with a roll of his shoulders, a quick raking of fingers through his hair, but he canât stop the way his chest tightens, the way something uneasy coils deep in his gut.
he doesnât like it.
you take a breath, shoulders rising and falling with it, like youâre steadying yourself. your stance shifts, one foot moving slightly behind the other, like you need an escape route, just in case. âiââ
ââcause i mean, itâs pretty obvious.â he barrels right over whatever you were about to say, voice light, teasingâtoo quick. he leans back against the pillows, arms crossed behind his head, a lazy grin stretching across his lips. âcanât blame you, really. i am incredibly handsome. the strongest, tooââ
âsatoru, this is serious.â
your voice cuts through his like a knife.
his grin twitches, faltering at the edges, but he doesnât let it fall completely. instead, he groans, sitting up in one fluid motion, his frustration bleeding through in the way he rakes a hand through his hair. his bangs fall messily over his forehead, but he doesnât push them back this time. âyeah, yeah, everything is serious with you lately.â his words come out sharper than he intends, but he doesnât stop. âyou know, you used to be fun. we used to be fun. now all you do is worry, and nag, andââ
you flinch.
itâs small. barely a twitch of your fingers, a quick inhale, a tightening of your shoulders. but he sees it, and the moment he does, regret clenches in his throat.
too late.
your fingers curl in on themselves, your nails pressing into your palms. your expression remains composed, but he sees the cracks formingâthe slight tremble in your exhale, the way your shoulders stiffen as if bracing for impact. âsatoru, i need to tell you something.â
his pulse kicks up.
itâs barely noticeable, the way his fingers tighten around the fabric of his pants, but youâre not most people, and you always notice. thereâs something about the way you say itâsomething final, something that makes his skin prickle with the kind of unease he canât shake.
he doesnât let you.
âwhat? that iâm reckless? that iâm changing?â he cuts in, sharp and bitter, words laced with something dangerously close to something real. something he doesnât want to name. âyeah, iâve heard it all before.â
âsatoruââ
âwhat do you want me to do, huh?â his voice rises, frustration twisting into something uglier, something more desperate. âcry about it?â
a long, heavy pause.
your face shiftsâsomething breaking, something splintering right in front of him, and he hates it. your gaze flickers downward, away from his, away from the conversation entirely. your fingers curl tighter, drifting to your stomach, barely grazing the fabric of your shirt likeâ
he doesnât get the chance to figure it out. because whatever it is, whatever you were going to say, it dies before it can even reach him.
you exhale, slow and measured. your fingers curl deeper into your sleeves, knuckles turning white, tension wound so tight in your shoulders that it hurts. thereâs something unreadable in your expression, something quiet and distant, and for the first time in a long time, satoru doesnât know what youâre thinking. the uncertainty makes his skin itch, makes his stomach turn. and then, finallyâ
ânevermind. iâm leaving.â
he scoffs, an ugly, humorless sound, sharp and bitter in the stillness between you. his lips curl, not in a grin, but in something twisted, something that doesnât reach his eyes. âyeah, right.â
but you donât roll your eyes. you donât laugh. you donât give him the reaction heâs expecting, the easy back-and-forth that makes it all feel normal. you just look at himâlong and quiet and sad, your fingers still trembling where they clutch your sleeves.
âiâm serious.â
his chest feels tight, like heâs breathing in smoke, like his ribs are about to crack under the weight of something he refuses to name. the words donât settle right in his ears, donât make sense in his head, donât belong in your mouth. you donât leave. not him. not this.
but then you say itâyou tell him you canât do this anymore, that youâre leaving jujutsu society, that you canât watch him become someone heâs not. your voice is steady, but thereâs something fragile in it, something raw at the edges, like youâre trying to convince yourself just as much as him. you say it like a choice, like something youâve decided on, but all he can hear is that youâre leaving him.
and it makes him panic.
so he does what he always does when he panicsâhe lashes out.
âfine, go then.â his voice is venomous, cutting, every syllable sharpened into a weapon. he means for it to hurt. he needs it to hurt. âif you really think iâm so hopeless, just leave like he did.â
the second itâs out of his mouth, he wants to take it back.
because you freeze. because something inside you cracks, visible in the way your breath hitches, in the way your fingers curl into your palm like you need to hold something, anything, just to keep yourself together.
your mouth opensâthen closes.
whatever words were lingering on your tongue, whatever truth you had been about to give him, they wither before they can take shape. they donât belong here, not after what heâs said. not when heâs already decided to throw you into the same abyss as him. the realization settles in your chest like something sharp, something splintered, pressing against your ribs.
he doesnât deserve to know. he doesnât even want to know. so you just nod, slow and deliberate, as if committing this moment to memoryâhis face twisted with something between anger and regret, his fingers curled so tightly into the fabric of his pants that his knuckles go white. something hollow settles in your gaze, something distant, something final.
then you turn around.
and you walk away.
but just before you cross the threshold, just before the distance between you stretches into something permanent, you pause. your hand lingers on the doorframe, fingers splayed against the wood, as if youâre waitingâwaiting for him to stop you, to say anything that might make this easier, to give you even the smallest reason to stay.
he doesnât.
so you exhale, steady and soft, and when you finally speak, your voice is barely above a whisper. âi hope itâs worth it, satoru.â
he doesnât ask what is âitââhis pride, his stubbornness, his refusal to let you inâbecause he knows. he knows. then you leave, and he watches you go, convinced youâll come back.
(you donât.)
six years pass him by, and itâs safe to say that it wasnât worth it.
he never says it out loudânever lets the words leave his lips, never even lets himself think them too longâbut the truth lingers, settling deep in his bones like a slow, creeping ache. he feels it in the way silence stretches too long in his apartment, in the way he still catches himself pausing at the door, expecting to hear your voice. itâs in the way his fingers twitch, like they still remember the shape of your wrist in his grasp, the way his bed feels too big now, empty in a way that nothing else quite fills. he tells himself it doesnât matter. that he doesnât care.
(he does.)
at first, heâs bitter. you left him. you gave up on him. just like he did.
the thought twists, ugly and sharp, digging into the tender parts of him that he refuses to acknowledge. he doesnât dwell on it. wonât. he has better things to do, more important thingsâmissions, responsibilities, a world that wonât stop turning just because he wants it to. so he throws himself into work, into being the strongest, into playing the role that everyone expects of him. if he keeps moving, if he keeps winning, maybeâmaybeâhe wonât have to think about what he lost.
but then the quiet comes.
it always does.
he can hold it off for a while, can drown it out in the noise of battle, the weight of duty, the voices of the students heâs taken under his wing. but eventually, when the dust settles and the world slows, when itâs just him and the empty space where you used to be, the silence seeps in, heavy and suffocating. it presses against his ribs, sits in the hollow of his chest, winds around his throat like something clawing for a home. and in those moments, thereâs no ignoring it.
he dreams about you.
sometimes, theyâre good. warm. the kind that make him wake up reaching for something that isnât there. he dreams of your laughterâlight and careless, curling around the edges of his mind like something precious. he dreams of your touchâthe way you used to smooth your hands over his shoulders when you thought he wasnât paying attention, the way your fingers would toy with the hem of his uniform absentmindedly, like you didnât even realize you were doing it. he dreams of the way you used to look at him, with something so soft in your eyes, something he never knew how to name.
but other times, the dreams arenât good.
sometimes youâre standing at the door, gaze unreadable, voice soft as you whisper, âi hope itâs worth it.â sometimes youâre walking away, and no matter how fast he moves, how desperately he reaches, he canât catch up. sometimes you turn back, but thereâs nothing left in your expression, like youâve already disappeared, like you were never really there. and sometimesâsometimes, you donât look back at all.
he thinks about looking for you. about dropping everything and scouring the world until he finds you, because if anyone can, itâs him.
but if you wanted to be found, you wouldnât have left.
so he lets you go. or at least, he tries to. he tells himself itâs for the best, convinces himself that thisâthis missing, this hollow ache, this unbearable emptinessâis just another thing he has to live with.Â
at least he pretends to.
and satoru seeing you again in what supposed to be an another monotone day clearly doesn't help his already pathetic facade.
he wasn't expecting to see you again, he dreamt about it often, that much is true but not like this.
not in the middle of a crowded mall, washed in artificial light, where the air smells faintly of buttered popcorn and overpriced coffee. not with the hum of idle chatter pressing in from all sides, footsteps tapping against the polished tiles, distant laughter ringing from a store playing a song he doesnât recognize. not standing in front of a shelf filled with pastel notebooks and gel pens, head tilted in quiet contemplation as you skim the label of a glittery-covered planner. not looking so much like you that it knocks the breath from his lungs, like heâs been punched in the gut by the weight of time itself.
six years apart, and yet, seeing you nowânothing has changed.
your fingers still tap absently against the bookâs spine, your brow still creases just slightly in thought, your weight still shifts from one foot to the other in that familiar, absentminded sway. it's the same little habits he used to watch from across a classroom, half-listening to you scold him for never taking notes, grinning when youâd huff in exasperation, muttering something about how even if you copied mine, youâd still flunk the test, gojo. itâs muscle memory now, the way he leans forward ever so slightly, the way his lips part to call your name before he even realizes it.
for a split second, he forgets the passage of time, forgets that you arenât seventeen anymore, that he isnât either, that the six-year gap between then and now has swallowed whole everything that was once soft between you.
somewhere between one breath and the next, his feet move on their own. he doesnât remember closing the distance, but suddenly heâs thereâstanding right beside you, close enough to see the way the artificial lighting catches on the curve of your lashes, close enough that his pulse trips over itself in something stupidly close to nerves.
âwoah,â he blurts out before he can stop himself, because heâs never been good at thinking before speaking, never been good at silence. his voice comes out rougher than he means, cracking on something fragile, so he leans into bravado, tilting his head with a grin like this doesnât feel like the start of something dangerous. âdidnât take you for the cute little stationery type.â
you freeze.
not in an obvious way. itâs a flicker, a split-second hesitation, just the faintest shift in your shoulders, the way your fingers still against the spine of the planner. itâs long enough that something in his chest tightens, long enough that he wonders if you might run.
then, finally, you turn to him.
and satoru, for all his power, for all his foresight, for all his years of learning how to predict and anticipateâheâs completely unprepared.
your face is the same. but not really. the softness he remembers is still there, but refined, tempered into something quieter, something heavier. time has carved something sharper into the delicate lines of your features, something weary, something distant, something closed. and when your eyes meet his, something ugly churns in his gut at how unfamiliar it feels, how your gaze doesnât hold him the way it used toâhow it skims over him like heâs anyone else.
and then you open your mouth.
your lips part, hesitation flickering in your gaze, the faintest shift of your brows betraying something unreadableâsomething he isnât sure he wants to name. for a moment, your throat bobs like you might say something else, something more, but then your expression settles into something carefully neutral. practiced. distant.
âgojo.â
not satoru. never satoru.
his stomach twists, and for a brief second, he hates himself for expecting anything different. of course, it would be gojo. of course, you would opt tl say his last name like it belonged to a stranger, disregard his first name like it was just a word, just a titleâlike you hadnât once whispered it into his skin, like it hadnât once meant home.
he exhales sharply, a smirk curling at the edges of his mouth, though it feels stiff, foreign, like it doesn't quite fit on his face anymore. his hands shove into his pockets, his shoulders rolling with a forced ease, but the tension lingers, settling somewhere in his spine.
âso,â he drawls, playing it easy, playing it light, playing it like the years between you never happened, âyou a teacher now? or just hoarding sparkly pens?â
thereâs a flicker of somethingâamusement, maybe, or the ghost of itâpassing through your expression. fleeting. barely there. but he catches it, latches onto it like a dying man gasping for air, like proof that maybe, just maybe, he isnât the only one drowning in this moment.
and then you exhale, a quiet huffânot quite a laugh, but close enough that something in his chest clenches, tight and aching.
âitâs not for me.â
not for you.
his fingers twitch before he can stop them, the urge to reach out settling deep in his bones like an instinct he thought heâd long buried. his six eyes, ever-perceptive, drink you in without permission, tracing every minute detail, cataloging every shift in your stance. the way your shoulders hover between tension and ease, the way your weight subtly shifts as if youâre fighting the impulse to moveâtoward him or away, he canât tell. but itâs your hands that betray you the most, your thumb brushing absently against your palm, slow and methodical, a grounding habit, a tell he never got the chance to memorize.
and yet, for all the little details his sight clings to, itâs the absence of something that twists like a knife beneath his ribs.
the faint indentation on your finger. a whisper of what once wasâor maybe what never came to be. a ring should have been there. but it isnât.
hope is a sickness, and it spreads fast, coiling through him like wildfire, igniting something reckless, something desperate. before he can stop himself, before he can thinkâbefore he can remind himself that hope has never done him any favorsâthe words slip out, raw and unfiltered as he stepped closer. âthen whoââ
but you do something he doesnât expect. you step back. not much. just an inch.
but itâs enough.
enough to silence him, to lodge something cold and sharp in the hollow of his chest. enough to remind him that time is not a wound that can be rewound, that the six years between you are filled with things he was never there to witness. enough to remind him that no matter how tightly he might want to cling to the past, you have already let it go.
your expression doesnât falter, doesnât crack, but thereâs something in the way your lashes lower just slightly, in the way your lips press together, careful and deliberate. restraint, or maybe considerationâlike youâre choosing your words with more care than he deserves.
âit was nice seeing you, gojo.â
was. past tense. final.
his stomach twists, his throat constricts. he hates how easily you say it, how effortlessly you close the door between you.
you turn to leave. his whole body locks up. he should let you go. if he were a better man, he would let you go.
but heâs never been a good man, has he? never been selfless, never been someone who could bear to lose something precious to himânot again, not again, not againâ
âwait,â he blurts out, reaching for youâ
but in the corner of his vision, something shifts.
small. deliberate.
he doesnât see it.
doesnât see the way a tiny figure leans forward from behind a display shelf, chin tilted up in blatant curiosity, eyes sharp and calculating. doesnât see the way her fingers tighten around the straps of her pink, glittery backpack like sheâs bracing herself for somethingâlike sheâs trying to piece together the scene before her with the unrelenting scrutiny of someone who refuses to be left out.
she isnât hesitant. she isnât uncertain.
she watches.
studies.
eyes flicking between you and him, her expression shifting through something unreadableâthoughtful, shrewd, maybe even the slightest bit unimpressed, like sheâs already decided she doesnât like what sheâs seeing.
he doesnât see her.
doesnât see the way she plants her feet, stance wide like sheâs ready to charge forward and insert herself into the conversation the way only a child with too much confidence can. doesnât see the way her tiny mouth presses into a firm, stubborn line, the way her nose scrunches in concentration, the way her little fingers drum against her arm as if waiting for the right moment to interrupt.
because right now, for the first time in six years, he finally saw you again. he only sees you.
he can only see you.
satoru doesnât breathe.
not at first.
not when you disappear from sight, not when the absence of your presence leaves behind something gaping, something cold, something he doesnât have the words to name. six years. six years of nothing, of static, of moving forward because what else was there to do but move? and nowânow you were here, now you were leaving again, and if he doesnât do something, doesnât say somethingâ
before he can even take a step, before he can even exhaleâa tiny, pointed presence looms at his side.
looming shouldnât be a word that applies to a child. but here she is. cornering him.
when he finally registers her, sheâs already staring up at him, blue eyes sharp, head tilted in deep, almost theatrical thought. her posture is relaxed, but not in the way a childâs should beâno fidgeting, no nervous glances, no uncertainty. instead, there is something deliberate in the way she plants her feet, how she clasps her hands neatly in front of her, how she breathes so evenly itâs like sheâs assessing him.
the soft scent of vanilla clings to the air around her, mixed with something delicate, maybe peach-scented lotion. her sneakersâpink and white with sparkly lacesâare pristine, barely creasing as she shifts her weight. her cardigan, worn off her shoulders like a fashion statement, matches the ribbons in her hair, and her ruffled socks peek out from beneath the hem of a dress that isn't a princess dress but might as well be with how carefully chosen it looksâpale pink with embroidered flowers, soft and dainty.
but the most striking thing about her, above all, is that she is him. down to the way her lips purse in contemplation.
she blinks. once. twice. assessing.
and then, with all the grace of a tiny, self-proclaimed noble who has just encountered a most peculiar sight, she tilts her chin up and announcesââugh. youâre taller than i thought.â
satoru blinks down at the little diva frowning up at him, her brows furrowing like heâs already failed some unspoken test.
she is⌠dazzling.
for all the wrong reasons.
because that is his nose. those are his eyes.
the slope of them, the sharp, fox-like tiltâso much like his own that it knocks the air from his lungs. itâs all there in the way her gaze flickers between calculation and feigned indifference, in the way her lips purse in mild dissatisfaction, in the way she shifts her weight onto one foot, expectant. her presence is something deliberate, something intended, as if she is waiting for him to notice her. but thatâs ridiculous, right? right?
his throat bobs, dry. he clears it anyway.
satoru barely catches himself before he lets out a laughâsharp, surprised, incredulous. instead, he exhales through his nose, slow and careful, before slipping his sunglasses off and hooking them onto his collar. the world is suddenly too bright without them, but he needs to see her properly. he lowers himself to one knee, eye level with the little diva who stands before him, hands on her hips like she owns the entire shopping district.
âuh.â he cocks his head, scanning her face for any sign of hesitation. none. not a single crack in that unshakable confidence. âhey, kiddo? are you, uh⌠lost?â
the reaction is instantaneous.
she gaspsâloud, dramatic, affronted.
both hands fly to her chest as though heâs just accused her of something heinous, scandalized horror flashing across her tiny face. her perfectly arched brows shoot up beneath the sharp cut of her bangs, pink lips parting with the kind of exaggerated disbelief that could only be described as theatrical. she takes a step back, but not like sheâs retreatingâno, she makes it look intentional, like a leading lady on stage setting up the perfect moment of tension.
âexcuuuse me?â she demands, her tiny chin tilting higher, voice dripping with the kind of indignation only the truly self-assured can muster. Her hands, small but precise in their movement, land imperiously on her hips. âdo i look like a peasant who gets lost?â
satoru blinks.
for once, his mouth moves faster than his brain, but that doesnât mean it makes sense. He opens his lips, closes them, then opens them again, fingers twitching slightly at his sides. âuhââ
âi have an impeccable sense of direction,â she continues, not even sparing him a glance as she flicks her hair over her shoulder, her tiny fingers adjusting an imaginary crown. her eyes shut brieflyâdramatic, self-important, as if recalling some great tragedy. âunlike mommy, who keeps walking the wrong way even with google maps.â
he startles.
itâs subtle, a twitch in his fingertips, a shift in his stanceâso minor most wouldnât even notice. but he does. he notices everything. the way her voice rounds out just slightly as she says mommy, the sharp, confident edge softening into something softer, something practiced. itâs natural, the way she says it, habitual, like it belongs to her in a way no other word does. there is no hesitation, no awkwardness, no resentmentâonly warmth.
only fondness.
or maybe heâs imagining things.
heâs still trying to process it whenâ
âanyway.â she rolls her eyes, slow and deliberate, like sheâs giving him the benefit of the doubt and immediately regretting it. her voice is lighter now, offhanded, but the unimpressed arch of her brow makes it clear: he is wasting her time.
âletâs get back to business.â
his brows furrow. âbusiness?â
âyes, business.â she plants a tiny hand on her hip like sheâs about to announce the worldâs next big fashion trend. her stance is commanding, legs slightly apart, the picture of confidence despite being barely three feet tall. âkeep up.â
satoru isnât sure what to expect, but it definitely isnât this.
because the way she looks at himâno, studies himâis unnerving. thereâs nothing idle about it, nothing remotely innocent. her gaze is razor-sharp as it sweeps from his feet to his head, dissecting every detail like sheâs mapping out a blueprint only she understands.
the pristine uniform. the tall frame. the striking, almost unnatural contrast of white hair and blue eyes.
he's been stared at his whole life, but never like thisânever like he's the one being judged. the gaze on him is unwavering, sharp, dissecting him piece by piece as if stripping him down to something more raw, more human. then, as if arriving at some profound conclusion, she lifts her tiny chin and flips her bangs with a small, decisive nod.
âyou have white hair.â
her lashes lower slightly, a subtle shift in expression that tightens something in his chest.
âyou have blue eyes.â
satoruâs pulse stutters.
before he can process the shift in atmosphere, she clasps her hands together, fingers lacing neatly over her chest. the movement is fluid, graceful, too composed for a child so young. it reminds him of a practiced performer, someone who understands the weight of gestures, of theatrics.
then, with the finality of a verdict, she nods again.
âi guess youâll do.â
âŚdo what now?
he stares, momentarily incapable of thought.
there is something deeply unsettling about being scrutinized by someone who barely reaches his waist. yet, there is an undeniable weight to the moment, a strange sort of gravity pressing against him. he can feel itâhis own energy mirrored back at him, sharp and self-assured, too knowing for a child so young.
his lips part, but he isnât even sure what he wants to ask.
the answer comes before he can find the question.
âso,â she announces, as if stating the obvious, âi need you to pretend to be my dad.â
satoru chokes.
the cough rattles his ribs, sharp and sudden, like his own body is rejecting the reality of what he just heard. he presses the back of his hand against his mouth, shoulders tensing, but it does little to stifle the noise. his throat burns with the effort, and yet, the words still echo in his mind, rearranging themselves into something even more absurd.
he drags his palm down his face. âcome again?â
the menaceâno, the tiny, immaculately dressed con artistâsquints at him.
âare you hard of hearing?â she enunciates, slow and patient, like sheâs explaining a simple concept to a particularly dense student. her small hands settle on her hips, fingers tapping in silent judgment, and the stance is so eerily familiar that it sends a ripple of unease down his spine. her chin tilts up, her expression unwaveringâlike sheâs used to being the one in control of conversations, and the thought alone is terrifying. âi said, i need you to pretend to be my dad for a fatherâs day event at school.â
something in his stomach lurches.
his brain canât keep up. the words donât fit, donât make sense, donât align with anything logical. she says them with such ease, like itâs the most natural thing in the world, but for him, itâs the equivalent of a meteor crashing into his reality.
his throat is suddenly dry. âthatâs⌠uhâŚâ
âobviously, i donât have one. and you were talking to mommy earlier, so you must be one of her friends.â she shrugs, breezy, nonchalant, as if sheâs discussing the weather.
but it is a big deal.
a very big deal.
his heart is pounding so fast he might actually pass out.
âmommy always comes with me, and i guess sheâs cool and all,â she continues, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. the movement is casual, self-assuredâthe same unconscious confidence he had as a child. satoru watches, helpless, as she flicks the curl over her shoulder with a tiny sigh, her expression morphing into something contemplative. âbut i pity her, yâknow?â
his throat tightens.
âpity.â he repeats, blankly.
âyeah, like.â she exhales, weight shifting onto one foot, lashes fluttering like sheâs the protagonist of a soap opera. âall the other kids have dads, and sheâs stuck with me all the time.â
his breath catches.
she sighs again, deeply, dramatically, as if sheâs making some grand sacrifice. her lower lip juts out ever so slightly, just enough to look a little more pitiful, like sheâs spent time perfecting this exact expression. âso, i figured iâd do something selfless and find a dad for the day.â
satoru swallows, something thick and unnameable clogging his throat. âthatâs⌠very generous of you.â
she preens. âi know, right?â
and thenâshe leans in, voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.
âbut donât tell mommy,â she warns, expression shifting in an instant. her eyes are dead serious, her tiny fingers curling into the fabric of her dress as if to physically hold the secret in place. âsheâd get mad.â
his stomach drops.
the weight of her words slams into him with the force of a truck, hollowing out his insides. his pulse roars in his ears, loud enough to drown out the hum of the storeâs overhead music, the chatter of passing customers, the clatter of shopping baskets. he feels it somewhere deep in his chest, a sensation not unlike free-fallingâbecause of all the ways this day couldâve gone, this was never in the realm of possibility.
âmad?â he echoes, voice suddenly hoarse, the word barely scraping past the dryness in his throat.
âmhm.â she nods sagely, lowering her voice even further, like sheâs sharing classified information. her tiny fingers tighten around the straps of her pink backpack, knuckles pressing into the glittery fabric as she leans in just a fraction more. her expression is thoughtful, brows furrowing slightly, as if sheâs considering something heavier than a child her age should. âi think she still misses my real dad.â
satoru stops breathing.
his chest tightens, a sharp, unbearable squeeze, as if his ribs have turned into a vice, crushing him from the inside out. the world around him dulls, the chatter of passing shoppers fading into static, the fluorescent lights overhead buzzing like a swarm of unseen locusts. the air in his lungs turns thick and heavy, refusing to moveâbecause everything, everything, is falling into place so fast he can barely keep up.
the kid stationeries you were browsing, the set of pastel pens you picked up only to set them back down, like you were debating whether to buy them. the pink, glittery backpack in her hands, the same shade of obnoxious bubblegum pink he once claimed to hate, but now realizes he would buy in a heartbeat, no questions asked. the way she looks just like himâthe sharp slant of her nose, the high curve of her cheekbones, the impossibly bright blue eyes that reflect his own like a taunt. even the way she stands, weight shifted slightly to one hip, tiny hands confidently gripping the straps of the backpackâlike she already owns the space she stands in, like the world itself is just a little too small for her.
holy shit.
âanyway.â she huffs, as if heâs the one wasting her time, her small mouth curving into a pout of mild exasperation. she adjusts the straps of the backpack in her arms, shifting its weight against her chest, fingers drumming impatiently against the sequined fabric. she tilts her chin up ever so slightly, radiating a confidence that shouldn't belong to someone so tiny. âitâs on friday, 9:00 a.m., at kikyo kindergarten.â
he blinks, the words sluggish as they filter through his brain, like a broken radio signal cutting in and out. âwhat?â
âthe event, duh.â she frowns, unimpressed, tilting her head with all the attitude of someone who cannot believe they have to repeat themselves. her lips press into a thin line, tiny shoulders rising as she takes a slow breath, like sheâs summoning every ounce of patience she has to deal with an absolute idiot. âwerenât you listening?â
his mouth opens, then closes, then opens again, but nothing coherent comes out. âuhââ
âyou better be there.â she declares, arms crossing over her chest, voice firm and unwavering, the kind of voice that does not take no for an answer. her stance shifts as she leans in closer, an almost imperceptible movement, but one that carries all the weight of an unspoken challengeâdaring him to refuse, daring him to disappoint her. there is something unreadable in her gaze, something old and knowing, something far too perceptive for a child her age. âor else.â
his pulse jumps. ââŚor else?â
she meets his gaze head-on, unflinching, as if she already knows she has him backed into a corner. her small fingers tap against her arm, considering, calculatingâthen, her lips curl into a smile that is nothing short of mischievous.
âor else, iâll tell mommy you tried to kidnap me.â
his soul leaves his body. âWHATââ
âbye now!â she beams, the picture of innocence, her entire face transforming in real time, as if she didnât just completely dismantle his entire world in the span of a conversation.
in real time, satoru watches his own child scam him.
his tiny daughterâhis menace of a childâspins on her heel, dropping the entire conversation like it never happened. she prances away, light on her feet, twirling slightly as she rounds the aisle you disappeared into, her little frame swallowed by the shelves.
her voice, when she speaks, is a melody, high and sweet and utterly deceiving. âmommy! look! this is the backpack i want!â
satoru can only stay there. staring.
his breath is shallow, like his lungs have forgotten how to function, like his entire body is refusing to move, to react, to process what just happened. the world feels too sharp, too clear, yet somehow far away, like heâs watching himself from outside his own skin. the fluorescent lights above hum too loudly, the colors of the store seem too vivid, and the ground beneath his feet feels like it's seconds away from giving out.
his daughter just found him before he ever found her.
his hands feel cold. his mouth is dry. his brain, usually a relentless, unyielding machine, capable of dissecting complex battle strategies in seconds, is blank. utterly, hopelessly blank.
sheâs real. she exists. she is his.
and she just walked away like it was nothing. like she didnât just turn his world upside down. like she didnât just unknowingly rip open a part of him that he didnât even realize had been closed off.
satoru exhales, slow and shaky, dragging a hand down his face. it doesnât help. he blinks rapidly, trying to reboot his system, but all he can hear is the echo of her tiny voiceâmatter-of-fact, unimpressed, brimming with the confidence of someone who knew exactly what she was doing.
he comes to terms with something horrifying.
his menace of a child just blackmailed him. she didnât ask. she demanded. she set her terms, delivered her threat, and walked away like a goddamn professional.
the absolute audacity.
the sheer talent.
his chest swells, something warm and bright bubbling beneath the overwhelming shock. his lips twitch, his vision goes a little blurry, and thenâa slow, unhinged grin spreads across his face.
he has never been more proud.
âholy shit,â he breathes, blinking rapidly, his pulse still hammering in his ears. then, after a long moment of processing the absolute scam he just walked into, he straightens, grips the nearest shelf for support, and mutters under his breath;
âshe so gets that from me.â
a/n: any normal person would be horrified finding out they missed out years in their child's life but he's not any normal person sigh he's so silly
tag list: @akeisryna , @funicidals
comment to be added on the tag list xx
fratboy!satoru having a crush on you is kinda like burning your hand on a hot stove.
it sucks.
satoru is cocky in all meanings of the word. heâs constantly on top of tables, playing beer pong, or dangling and swinging from the chandelier in the frat house that is still up by the grace of God.
yet somehow, despite walking into class 25 minutes late and complaining about his hangover for the rest of your hour long class, he still maintains nearly perfect grades.
every girl has a crush on him, or thinks heâs the scum of the earth. every guy wants to be him and he knows this. he carries himself with such confidence that itâs not hard to see why heâs so popular.
and then thereâs you.
you applied to this prestigious college in hopes of getting your degree and getting the hell out of there the first chance you got. somehow, you got in and are now dedicated to spending your next 5 years stuck in this school
and stuck with satoru.
he comes from a family of immense wealth. you were pretty sure he didnât even need to go to college or have a job, and yet here he was in all his douchebaggy glory. everytime he walked past girls would giggle and guys would grumble
but he was focused on you.
you never made a noise when he walked past, never even looked up from the dumb tiktokâs you were watching on your phone. even when he made a spectacle in class, you wouldnât even spare him a giggle or an eye roll. to you, it was like he didnât even exist.
your lack of presence had somehow caught his eye, and through the flood of people that he saw everyday, he was stuck on you.
-
âi literally donât get it.â satoru grumbled into his pillow as his roommate, suguru, rolled his eyes for the trillionth time.
âwhy do you care so much? itâs not like the flood of girls nipping at your heels is gonna go dry anytime soon.â suguru massaged the temples on his head, desperately trying to relieve himself from the satoru induced migraine
âitâs different! i want an eyeroll, a scoff, something!â satoru flops over on his back and looks to his roommate
âyouâre annoyed because she doesnât acknowledge your existence?â
âexactly!â
ânarcissist.â satoru groaned at his roommate and pouted into his pillow once again.
âyour just salty your bumble date ghosted you.â satoru claimed, and quickly retracted as a pillow was throw at his head.
-
the next class you had early in the morning made you groan as you sat down and opened your bag to grab your computer.
âis this seat taken?â your head snaps up while you meet bright blue eyes, although they were covered by dark sunglasses.
you whip your head around to the plethora of empty seats, even the ones in the back held no one, which was a miracle in itself.
âuhm, no?â you scooped up some of your items to make room for the lengthy boy as he sat down next to you. he leaned his head on his hand as he eyed you up and down.
âi donât believe weâve met. iâm satoru gojo, although you can just call me satoru, gorgeous.â he had a cocky grin on his face, sure that he was being charming by extending the pleasure of calling him by his name to you and by the slightest compliment.
âyeah, okay.â you nodded slightly, praying to whatever God would listen that heâd just leave you alone. his smile faltered at your dismissive tone, although he was far from done playing with you.
âwhat are you majoring in?â his eyes were still fixed on you, as if some omnipotent creature was whispering all the ways to make you tick, and he was listening as if it were scripture.
you rolled your eyes and spared him a glance although lacked a response as you continued to furiously type the paper that was due for this class.
after that blatant dismissal, he tried everything.
a large, very expensive looking bouquet by your dorm? he found them in the dumpster the next morning. causing a ruckus in the quad? you walked past him as if he were trash on the sidewalk. a pyramid of redbulls inside your dorm (howâd he get in?) was found in a donation box for other students who were struggling. nothing he did could ever catch your eye.
although he didnât know the flowers you got him made you violently sneeze, so they were a hazard to keep in your living space. he didnât know that the day he tackled suguru in the quad with the prayer of a fleeting glance, you were to focused on the mid term that was worth half your grade. the redbulls he left in your dorm just happened to be your least favorite flavor, and it probably was t healthy to drink all of those yourself. it wasnât that you were purposely ignoring him, you just genuinely didnât notice his foolish antics were to get your attention.
-
it wasnât until the end of the year that satoru finally snapped.
he found you in the library, surrounded by books and half drunken iced coffee. you looked different from the girls that usually followed him. not bad different, but raw. real.
you didnât notice him until his shadow blocked the flow of light that illuminated your books.
you looked up, sighing slightly before pulling out and earbud
âif this is about the flowers, iâm allergic-â
âget up.â his tone was different from the cocky frat boy you knew. he was nervous. nervous in your presence, nervous in the line of your sight. he looked like and insecure school boy finally talking to his crush
âexcuse me?â you watched as he scooped up the books and carefully shoved them into your bag, pulling your chair out while you were still sat in it.
âi wanna talk.â he pulled you by your wrist, still holding your backpack as he made a dash for the exit
âwe canât just talk here?â your feet were clumsy following the man in front of you, considering he was a good foot taller that you.
âitâs important, justâŚâ he paused, the words fluttered on his tounge but he bit back before it all came rushing out. âplease.â
that shut you up.
he rounded the corner and shoved open the door to a long forgotten stair well.
gojo crossed his arms, sunglasses pushed up into his hair, exposing the frustration flickering in those icey eyes. âwhat is your deal with me?â
you blinked.
âhuh?â
âiâve tried everything. everything,â he said, voice sharper than his usual smooth tone. âyou ignore me like iâm background noise. like i donât even exist.â
you stared, silent, waiting.
âi mean, do you hate me? did i do something? am I just some frat idiot to you?â he ran a hand through his hair, pacing now. âyouâre driving me insane and you donât even care.â
âi do notice you, satoru.â his real name being slipped on your tounge caused his pacing to falter.
for the first time all year, you saw him. rough around the edges, and slightly insecure. he wasnât satoru gojo, heir to a fortune many couldnât comprehend and a total douchebag
he was just⌠satoru. a boy who didnât know how to get the attention of someone like you without using elementary tactics.
âyou donât have to do anything dramatic to catch my eye. you donât have to make small talk about stupid shit to get me to talk to you.â
âi see you, satoru. every over the top stunt, every weird little performance. iâve seen it all. but the guy who leaves flowers im allergic too in front of my dorm to get attention?â you stood slowly, eyes locking with his. âthatâs not who iâm interested in.â
he swallowed. âthen who are you interested in?â
you leaned in just enough for your voice to hit him low and clear.
âthe real you, whoever that is. itâs up to you to figure that out.â
and then you left him there, quiet for the first time in a long time.
-
the next time you saw satoru, he was just as nervous as last time. his eyes werenât covered by his glasses and you swore you could see a glimmer of sweat drip down his forehead as he met you for the first class of the day.
âfor you.â he held out a small iced coffee, the same one you had ordered for your impromptu study trip in the library.
he had memorized it.
in the small moment he saw to remember it, he had got it perfect.
âno flowers, no stupid tricks. just me.â you smiled as he handed it to you, the condensation on the cup making your hands cold and wet, but you didnât mind.
âyou remembered,â you said.
âive been paying attention. even if you werenât.â
you studied him. for once, he didnât try to fill the silence. he just looked at you. nervous, hopeful, real.
and maybe he was still a little ridiculous. still loud, still dramatic in ways he couldnât fully shake. but under all of that⌠there was something honest. something kind.
and maybe that was who satoru was all along.
âyour still a frat idiot, satoru.â
âiâm your frat idiot.â
BUTTERFLY EFFECT ŕ¨ŕ§ ryomen sukuna - satoru gojo.
YOU WOULD SLEEP WITH ME, IF YOU COULD DO IT COMFORTABLY â red bull's pit lane? total mayhem, especially with sukuna's temper constantly flaring. so, yeah, things got stressful. and, okay, hooking up with gojo, ferrari's golden boy, wasn't exactly the smartest way to unwind. but, honestly, one tiny slip-up at one tiny party? little did you know, the butterfly effect was inconceivable.
ᥣđŠ ferrari-racer!gojo x redbull-racer!sukuna x redbull-manager!reader.
warnings â inaccuracies. (so. many. inaccuracies. i apologize in advance for all of them, especially to the people who watch formula one.) polyamorous relationships. slow burn. angst. eventual smut. use of alcohol/drugs. specific content warnings will be added at the beginning of each chapter. again, the ending will be polyamorous.
(ĺŞčĄĺťťćŚ) : note â layout ib: @nanamiskentos. whoops, spilled some ink, and started a new series. i was planning on making this a full-length piece, but that just would've been far too long. enjoy!
⌠track one. | damage control. ⌠track two. | soon! ⌠track three. | soon!
series taglist (27/50): @jeonwiixard, @paradisestarfishh, @seizecherry, @shinycrybaby, @n1vi, @gojosoups, @poopooindamouf, @susususukanana, @sukubusss, @beereadzzz, @mia-can-yap-too, @indiewritesxoxo, @yenayaps, @swoozleee, @monacipher, @chosos-prettyprincess, @hyori2, @aldebrana, @your-mum3000, @unabletonotlovesatoru, @kazuuhali, @river-vixenn, @daisy-01-blog, @linny-bloggs, @cosmotoic, @pousivuitton, @carnalcrows. ask to be added!
Summary: No one really seems to fit your standards, your roommate, Chuuya, proves otherwise.
Tags: Chuuya Nakahara/Reader, Female reader, 3.5k Words, Jealous Chuuya, Cunnilingus, Pussy Worship, Overstimulation, Spitting, Cum Eating, Chuuya Comes In His Pants, Petnames (Pretty Girl, Dollface, Sweetheart, etc.), He Should Be The Standard Tbh, Wyd If Your Man Isnât A 5â3â Ginger Mafia Executive, Perhaps I Projected Slightly Since Itâs My Birthday In Two Days And This Is My Gift To Me, Mwah.
Sinners: @pe4rl-diver , @sakui1 , @mxya-dreams , @runs-withscissors , @writingandmusing , @mairia-chan , @dearestwitchtrials
Becoming a mafia executiveâs roommate was not on your to-do list, yet here you wereâ from moving what was left of your belongings into a large empty room to finally redecorating the minimalist aesthetic your roommateâs apartment seemed to take on with him barely being there already due to his occupation. You seemed to fill a space in Chuuyaâs life that he didnât know he was missing.
Now there wasnât a day he didnât come home late into the night and not expect you to be up and about doing your own activities, acting as if you were some nocturnal deviant that haunts the night with random shenanigans. He canât count how many times heâs walked in to find you nursing one of his cheaper bottles of wine and cooking or baking something that you just happened to find while scrolling through social media, offering him some in return with an awkward grin to avoid his wrath for finishing nearly half his bottle. Of course, he was always too tired to fight you on the matter from the day and would take the rest of the bottle for himself before sitting at the island counter to wait for you to finish with whatever you were making.
Or the amount of times you bought something new to add on to the decorations in your apartment, showing it off proudly to Chuuya as you placed it next to the tons of other random vintage-looking trinkets and paintings you got in the past. Though he never complained much because how could he argue about how busy the decorating looked when he was barely there to look at it in the first place?
And when he got the day off, you were there with him most often, binging movie series or begging to go shopping with him because you couldnât help but marvel at the small stationary sections they had in the stores he frequented. He rolls his eyes and scoffs every time with a snarky, yet harmless comment to make about your buying habitsâ wondering when youâd ever need a dog themed wine opener, only to realize weeks later that he had been using it every time he opened a new bottle and that you payed close attention to his likes and dislikes. It made him feel a little bit better about allowing you to be his roommate at all, not sure how it would go with how you were when you first met.
He never once thought heâd experience having a woman come up to him while was in the middle of fighting at least five opposing gang members to ask him for directions to the nearest convenience shop. Of course, he almost didnât have that chance to advance any further with you as he had with the onslaught of bullets that came your way, but with his ability and quick reflexes, he pulled you out of the way to take cover behind a car, chastising you on your social awarenessâ or lack thereof. Your reasoning behind approaching him out of everyone else in the area was beyond him, and you admit that you donât even know why yourself, seemingly finding that you were just naturally drawn to him. And he did eventually get you to that convenience store that you were asking about.
How you ended up being roommates? Chuuya likes to blame the fact that he was partly raised by Kouyou to be a gentleman for his choice of offering you a place in his apartment after you met him once more weeks later at a bar, whining about the flooding in your apartment complex that had everyone looking for a new place to live, including yourself. Heâd never seen you look so flustered and timid, trying to back track and stumble over how it really wasnât a big deal and how you were just going to couch surf with one of your friends until you found somewhere else to stay.
If there was something that Chuuya was, it was stubborn, but he learned that night that you were tooâ going back and forth for nearly an hour with each other until you were immediately persuaded with the promise of him taking you out to ice cream after getting you sobered up and back to your place to collect what was left of your items.
You settled in quickly and easily, your presence becoming one that Chuuya couldnât ignore if missing.
Which is why he was so put off by your absence one night when he came home to find everything in dead silence with all the lights and TV shut off. It almost felt⌠empty, and it caught Chuuya off-guard. Maybe you went to bed early for once? But usually when that happened, you alwaysâ always left the TV on while you slept away on the couch, curled up cutely beneath one of his expensive throw-blankets. There was the chance that you werenât feeling well and decided to sleep in your room for once, but after quietly shuffling over to your room and peeking in, your bed was emptyâ sheets strewn about and your multitude of pillows bunched around your sleeping spot.
Then he thought there was always the possibility that you got one of your random cravings for a specific junk food and went down to the small convenience shop down the road to buy it. But he knows that you always drag him along no matter how tired you both are or how long you have to wait for him to get home because you feel safer with him.
Pacing back into his room, he takes off his hat and gloves, hands sweaty as he takes out his phone. On one hand, he doesnât understand why his nerves are acting up because you were probably fineâ you had other friendsâ maybe youâre with them. But thereâs still that small thought in the back of his mind that there may be something wrong and he knows itâs definitely because of everything that heâs dealt with in the mafia, including watching nearly everyone heâs ever cared about die. He clicks on your name and sends you a text asking where you are, and if you didnât answer in five minutes, heâd try to call, and then possibly even go looking for youâ but you answer almost immediately and he lets out a soft, relieved sigh that he didnât even realize he was holding in.
âDidnât you see my note on the fridge? Aww. You miss me that much (ďźžď˝ďźž)?â As he read your message, he could hear your voice clear in his mind, a small huff leaving his nose as he does. Finally being able to relax, he makes his way into the kitchen and turns the light on to see a yellow sticky note plastered to the fridge with your writing in pink glittery ink. âWonât be home till super late, on a date. Made udon earlier, leftovers in the fridge.â
Letting the information settle in, he only focuses on the first sentences of your note, a blank look on his face as he re-reads it at least three more times.
A date? He didnât realize you were even interested in that stuff, or maybe he just assumed you werenât because he wasnât interested in it due to focusing on the mafia. At least until now. He doesnât understand the irritation that eats at him at the thought of you spending your free time with some guy that doesnât know you at all, probably more interested in the thought of whatâs beneath your clothes than anything else. But thatâs not his business, so he shouldnât have a say in it. He wasnât a controlling personâ outside of the mafia at leastâ he thinks. So why does he feel like he deserves to put any of his two cents in on you going out and enjoying yourself?
Heâs barely able to sleep with these thoughts running through his head, deciding to drink a glass of wine while sitting on the couch to soothe his nerves. But it doesnât stop until he hears the front door unlock and open, a pair of heels clicking against the wood floor. Which was interesting because you didnât own heelsâ not going out enough to really bother with them. His head turns to look behind him over the back of the couch, sucking in a breath when he catches a glimpse of you in a tight dress, bent over to take your heels off. His head whips around to face straight again and tries to rid of the image burned in his retinas, free hand coming up to rub at his eyes.
Your feet slap against the ground quietly as you walk over to the couch, moving to sit on the other end of it and lean against the arm rest. You slouch over and sigh tiredly, ready to doze off. âHow was work?â You ask, voice groggy.
Glancing away, Chuuya avoids looking at you, deciding to focus on his wine. âIt was fine⌠jusâa lot of paperwork today,â He stiffly replies before hesitantly asking in return, âHow was your date?â
He could not explain the relief he felt for a second time that night when he heard your groan of disdain, clearly having had a failed date. âIt was going well and then after dinner he said that he wanted a blowjob because he was entitled to one after paying for my dinner even though I offered to pay for my own half. So really, he was just a douchebag,â You mumble out as you curl up further against the armrest, tugging a folded up throw-blanket off of the back of the couch to cover yourself with.
A loud scoff escapes Chuuya lips before he comments, âYeah, sounds like a real piece of work.â
âSânot even the first time this stuff has happened,â And this fact has Chuuya eyeing you.
âYou went on more dates?â He tries not to sound like heâs about to burst a vein, but knowing that youâve gone on more dates than just the one guy has him nearly foaming at the mouth.
Shifting to sit up a bit, you wrap the blanket around your body and tuck your hands under your chin, watching him brew in a small bout of anger. âYeahâ went on a few actually, but they sucked too. I just went earlier in the evening while you were at work. Whyâre you getting so worked up?â You hold back the amusement in your voice and let your eyes follow his bare hand to come up and run through his hair.
âWhy didnât you tell me earlier? Wouldâve kicked their asses,â Chuuya grumbles instead of answering your question directly. It makes you giggle quietly, holding back more laughs when his head whips over to look at you and his face scrunches up. âWhat? What are you laughinâ about? Theyâre fuckinâ assholesâŚâ He strains, his cheeks flushing at your small grin.
âNothing⌠just think itâs a little funny that youâre getting more upset about it than me,â You point out, moving over to sit closer to him.
âBecauseâ causeâŚâ Chuuya trails off, glancing to the side as his face only grows a darker shade of pink. âGuys can be jerk offs, okay? I would know. And itâs bullshit that they treat you like that.â You can tell that something is making him act unusual from his normal nonchalant demeanorâ and it only encourages you to get even closer to him until youâre leaning shoulder to shoulder with him.
You think itâs a little cute that heâs so defensive over you, feeling his body stiffen at how youâre pressed against him before relaxing a bit, but still avoiding eye contact. âItâs fine, Iâll just chill on the dates for a while, no oneâs been meeting any of my standards anyway. Iâm starting to think Iâm a little picky.â
âYeah? Whatâs your standards?â He mumbles, staring down at his half full wine class as he waits for your response. But instead, he feels the weight against his body shift, your chest now pressing against his arm and warm breath blowing against the side of his neck. Turning his head to look at you, he sucks in a quiet breath as his heterochromatic eyes meet yours in a stare. You gaze at him with a knowing look, eyelids falling into a lull and pupils flickering down to focus on his lipsâ and heâs done for.
There is no perception of how much time has passed from Chuuyaâs lips meeting yours to him lifting you up by the thighs to carry you off into his room and throw you down onto his bed. Climbing over you to hover above your body, his hands are pushing the hem of your dress up eagerly and fumbling to get his own shirt off, lips moving along yours messily, smacking together loudly as he presses you further into the mattress. Everything about his movements are desperate and impatient, taking you back as you had never seen him like this. You eventually tangle your fingers into his slightly mused hair to pull him off of you, panting loudly as you take in breaths of air.
A low groan rumbles from the back of Chuuyaâs throat as he subconsciously moves back down to chase your lips, only to be met with your hand tugging on his hair again and an airy laugh from you. âChuuya, slow down.â
Chuuya lets out a heavy huff, head falling to rest in the crook of your neck as his hands move up to rub along your sides. âYou make it hard, pretty girlâ âspecially with this dress on. God, it drives me crazy knowing you wore this for someone else, sâjust not fair,â He groans, fingers dragging down to finally push your dress over your hips to reveal your bare cunt to him. You werenât wearing a damn thing underneath your dress. Chuuya feels at a loss for words, lips parting and pressing together in attempts to find the words heâs looking for before uttering a soft, âFuck,â And meeting your gaze. âYouâre not wearing anything,â He shakily utters, cock twitching to strain against his pants.
âI kind of forgot to do my laundry last nightâŚâ You shrug with a timid grin.
He nearly laughsâ itâs just like you to do something like thisâ but heâs too distracted by the way your hand runs through his hair and legs shamelessly rubbing together to do so, his teeth digging into his bottom lip. Heâs quick to decide his next moves at the sight, hands gripping your thighs to spread them open as he shifts himself down the bed to hover between your legs.
Thereâs a strangled noise that squeaks out from your throat at his impatient movements, cheeks burning when his rough hands press against the insides of your thighs to press your legs against the mattress, leaving yourself on full display for him. âWhat are you doing?â You slightly squirm beneath him.
âStop that,â He orders firmly, pressing his hands harder down against your thighs. âI wanna taste you,â He murmurs, lips pressing down just below your belly button before moving down to your drooling cunt, his breath hot on your sensitive skin. If he wasnât hard before, he certainly was now, grunting at the feeling of his aching length pressed against the mattress.
âYou donât have to do that, Chuuya,â You card a hand through his coppery tresses, tugging them for him to look at you.
Chuuyaâs mismatched eyes trail up to meet yours, brows narrowed, face still hovering close to you. âIâm doing this cause I want to, dollface, so quit stalling and let me eat this pretty pussy out,â He huffs, bringing a hand down to spread your slick folds apart with his fingers. âFuck, Sweetheart, canât believe Iâve been missing out on this,â He groans, leaning in to place a wet kiss against your core. Thereâs a deep chuckle that leaves him when your hips jolt faintly under his touch and you bite back a moan. âFilthy girl, you like me kissing on your sloppy cunt like this?â He growls out, lips meet your warm insides again, moving against your labia and dripping entrance lewdly as his tongue slips out to lap up your arousal.
You canât help but tighten your fingers in his hair, whimpering at the feeling of him making out with your pussy, tongue dragging through your lower lips painfully slow to savor your taste all the while staring up at you intensely through his lashes. âChuuyaâŚâ
Chuuya hums softly against you, parting from your pussy with a soft kiss to your clit. âYou taste so fuckinâ good, yâknow that, pretty girl? Couldâve been doing this ages ago instead of wasting your time on those other guys,â He sighs, readjusting his arms to wrap around each of your thighs and rest them on his shoulders as he leaned back in to wrap his lips around your throbbing clit. His hips grind subtly into the mattress, desperate to rid of the stiffness in his weeping cock, whining lowly into you.
A gasp slips from your parted lips, hips bucking into him needily. âT-Thought you werenât interested so Iâ ahâ didnât say anything. Mm! Shit, that feels really good, Chuuya,â You moan out when he sucks harshly at your sensitive nub, your fingers tangling into his messy hair further as you tug at them.
âCouldâve jusâ asked, doll,â He muffles, detaching his lips briefly to spit a glob of saliva onto your clit, watching it trail down to your entrance before bringing his thumb to swipe it back up to your clit, rubbing it in to mix with your arousal. âLike Iâd pass up a gorgeous girl like you,â He trails off, burying himself back into you to plunge his tongue past your tight entrance, smothering your spit slickened nub with his thumb.
Your hips only grind harder against him with each curl of his tongue and rub of his thumb, eyes fluttering shut tightly and lips parting further with each broken moan. Itâs difficult to respond or even think much with the stirring pleasure coiled in your lower stomach, the only words falling from your mouth being his name. You canât even move away from the overwhelming pleasure when your release crashes down on you without warning, his arms locking you against him tightly, lips noisily smacking and slurping up everything you have to offer, his own loud groans reverberating against your pussy as he humps against the mattress with fervor, chasing his own high.
You let out a soft cry when he continues eating you out, rolling your pulsing clit between his teeth and tongue before suckling roughly, attempting to pull another orgasm out of you. âOh, fuck! Chuuya, pleaseâ canâtâ fuck, fuckâ mâcoming again,â You choke between whimpers, pulling roughly at his hair as you mindlessly buck your hips against his face until youâre coming for a second time on his tongue which has his own hips stuttering against the mattress as he comes in his pants.
Chuuya finally pulls himself away, placing a final kiss to your inner thigh before shifting to his knees and climbing back over you to cup the side of your neck and pull you into a needy kiss, the taste of your cum still on his tongue. âYâpretty when you lose yourself like that, dollface. Had me cominâ in my pants,,â He chuckles breathlessly, trailing kisses down your chin to your neck and then back up to peck your lips. âYou okay?â He asks, watching you tremble beneath him.
You give a lazy nod, your eyes meeting him to see his pupils lust-blown, hair wildly messed up, and chin drenched with your slick. One of your hands moves to the side of his face, thumb swiping over his chin to wipe away some of the mess he made with a small smile. âIâm okay,â You whisper, voice a bit raspy. âAre you okay?â
He gives you a lopsided grin, catching his breath, âYeah, Mâfine, sweetheart.â He then moves to lay beside you, tugging your dress all the way off your body to toss aside and pepper kisses along your shoulder, curling up against you. He ignores the dark stain in his slacks, leaving it to be a problem for later as he relaxes.
âHey⌠Chuuya,â You call out, head turning to face him, nose bumping against his.
âYeah, doll?â
âI lied about going on more than the one date tonight, I just wanted to see your reaction,â You admit, watching Chuuyaâs face twist into multiple different emotions before settling on a blank look.
âYouâre not walking for a week after tonight.â
âWoah! Letâs talk about this, I was just joshinâ you!â
âWeâll see how funny it is when youâre using crutchesââ
When tumblr refreshes itself and the fic I was reading fucking disappears forever đ
Iâve been searching for a smau I was reading for three days đ
very niche drabble from my drafts but honestly i would die without posting anything new in a day so i hope y'all will like this and see the vision LMAO, will have different parts <3 since lyra have pointed it out, just saying now that the reader is the cashier :D
isekai'd as game protag nerdjo x isekai'd as saintess npc reader, fluff.
the sunlight catches in your hair again.
satoru doesnât mean to look. really. he doesnât. but itâs kind of impossible not to when it glows like thatâwhen every strand shimmers gold in the light of the descending sun like threads spun from divinity itself. itâs almost offensive, honestly. like the devs knew exactly what they were doing when they coded your idle animation to lean forward with a hum and tuck a loose wisp behind your ear just so.
he shifts his weight from one boot to the other, arms crossed, mouth tight, trying to look casual and not like heâs completely entranced by the way the snow melts before it even touches you.
he shouldn't be staring. he shouldn't want to.
because he already has a crush.
back homeâreal homeâthereâs a girl who works at the little corner store where he always buys his merch and energy drinks and plastic gacha keychains. she wears cute earrings. remembers his name. slips extra digimon stickers into his bag when she thinks heâs not looking.
he canât seem to recall what she looked like, probably because of this whole isekai thing but he was sure about one thing. he was going to ask for her number, eventually. probably. maybe. someday.
but still he could not peel his gaze away.
youâre kneeling by a bed of bluebellsâearly bloom, thanks to your passive skill, blessing of spring. soft petals brush against your fingertips as you gently trace the outline of each flower, humming a song heâs pretty sure isnât in the gameâs ost. a small smile plays on your lips. the world around you feels alive in a way it never did when he played this on his old consoleâbirds chirp too realistically, snowflakes glint too sharply, the wind carries your voice just enough to tease at the edge of his hearing.
and heâs just standing there. holy sword at his side. cape slightly crooked. heart lodged firmly in his throat.
âyouâre staring again,â their rogue probably says behind him. maybe itâs their archer this time. he doesnât hear. or ratherâhe refuses to.
because how the hell is he supposed to focus on defeating the demon king when you smile like that?
heâs the hero now. the chosen one. satoru gojo, level 99 celestial knight. maxed-out stats in everything that mattered: strength, speed, light magic resistance, charisma so broken itâs been nerfed twice since launch. and yet here he isâstill taking psychic damage from the way your lashes flutter when you blink at him.
heâs been here for weeks ever since dozing off in a middle of some cutscene. isekaiâd straight into his favorite gameâcelestial hearts: divine war of fateâwhich was absolutely not supposed to be a dating sim. it was about strategy and honor and battle mechanics. not about feelings or pretty saintess girls in glowing white cloaks and soothing voices who keep patting his head when he looks tired.
âsir gojo?â you say gently, glancing over your shoulder at him, smile soft and patient.
your eyes catch the light and sparkleâsparkle, literally sparkle. like someone turned the shader settings all the way up just for you. âyou look flushed. are you feeling alright?â
âyâyeah,â he says, cracking audibly. god. why did his voice do that. he clears his throat. straightens up. resets his face to what he thinks is a neutral, knightly expression. âmust be the sun. yâknow. too hot.â
you blink. your lips part in polite confusion, and you glance up at the sky.
âbut itâs snowing.â
ââŚright.â
his hands twitch at his sides, fingers flexing restlessly in his gloves. damn this game. damn the developers. damn their incredible, stupid attention to detail. your handsâbare, of courseâhover over the flowers again, cupping one like a tiny offering. your sleeves fall past your wrists, white and gold embroidery catching the breeze. he knows your bio by heart: âsaintess of the divine spring, miracle maiden of light,â the usual npc flavor text. maxed healing. high affinity scores. probably a tragic backstory somewhere in your questline.
but none of that mentioned how your laugh sounds like windchimes strung across heavenâs gate.
âsir gojo,â you say again, standing now, brushing imaginary dust and flower petals from your skirts. your movements are dainty, practiced, but your brows draw slightly inward with genuine concern. âyouâve been standing still for a while. are you sure youâre not overheating?â
his cape flutters awkwardly in the wind. his fingers go rigid. he canât even blink.
girl. please.
he opens his mouth. closes it. opens it again, as if maybe this time something normal will come out.
âmaybe iâmâŚâ his voice trails off as he wills his brain to function. âoverheating from your⌠divine radiance?â
the words leave him like a spell miscast.
a pregnant pause.
thenâyour eyes go wide. your lips twitch. and you laugh.
not a dainty giggle this time, but a laugh. soft and delighted and surprised all at once, curling from your throat like a melody no bard could replicate. you lift your sleeve to hide your smile, cheeks faintly pinkânot blushing, no, the game probably just coded you to respond to compliments with a heat shaderâ
heâs going to die.
heâs actually going to drop dead right here in the middle of a flower field over a non-playable character.
somewhere deep in the forest, a bowstring snaps with unnecessary violence. someoneâprobably the mageâlets out a strangled, exhausted noise of pure despair.
satoru barely notices. heâs busy fighting for his life.
youâre still smiling at him. the wind rustles the bluebells. your hair glows like godâs personal sunbeam. the scene is perfect. it looks like a damn cg cut-in. he expects text to pop up any second with your name and some sappy line like âiâm glad youâre here, brave knight.â
but instead you just say, softly, with an amused little tilt of your head, âyouâre strange, sir gojo.â
âi get that a lot,â he mumbles.
and somehow, impossibly, you smile brighter.
he has to beat the demon king. return to his world. back to traffic, vending machines, anime reruns, and microwaved curry. back to a life without hand-drawn skies and snow that melts against your skin and the way you say his name like itâs a blessing.
but youâre looking at him now like heâs the one glowing.
and satoru thinksâmaybe. maybe just a little longer.
a few more days of fumbling compliments, of you laughing at his dumb jokes, of trying not to combust every time your hands brush his.
a few more days of your soft voice calling him âsir gojoâ like you donât even realize youâve already enchanted him more deeply than any demon ever could.
the good ending âď¸