"Don't Do That." He Wanted To Come Off As Harsh. Yet Instead Of The Usual Sharpness Of His Voice, His

How cruel, how unfair....

I'm gonna start a trend hehe >:3

So :

How would your Fae Sun and Moon react to being called baby (as in affectionate petname sense)? Like when we pet them or we just nuzzle into their necks gently??? Sth sth soft touches and petnames have been plaguing me lately, thank you 😃💥

OKAY SEE YOU JESTIE HEHEHE

🫣💞✨💥‼️

Calling the faeries, the generous pet name givers themselves, a pet name?

Oh, Starrie,

They’d crumble

They can dish it out but they can’t take it

first loves

Pairing: Kamisato Ayato x fReader Warnings: angst, (slight) hurt/no comfort Word Count: ~2k A/N: apparently tumblr had issues so i'm reposting this!

They say that first loves are the hardest to forget. A face, forever imprinted in your memory with a series of "firsts" forever in the back of your mind. It's a cruel phrase, toxic even, one that snickers in the back of your mind when you see Kamisato Ayato for the first time in years. He looks the same, a knowing smile on his lips, eyes bright with amusement but dancing with secrets, but he's different. He's taller now, with a broader frame, hand moving through the air gracefully as he speaks to Madame Kujou Sara with nothing but elegance dripping from his tone. Everyone around looks at him as if he was a king, a shining star standing before a throne he had just sat at. 

And yet, you still see the boy that used to be one of your closest friends as a child. You still see lilac eyes gazing at you with delight as he drags you down the streets of Inazuma City, a bag of Mora bouncing in his hands as he declares that you have to share this next dessert with him. Ayaka pouts from behind you, hands on her hips as she demands that her brother also get her one as well. It’s only a couple seconds of arguing before the eldest gives in, buying two desserts. One for Ayaka, and one for the two of you to share. You’re not quite sure why he doesn’t want one for himself, but Ayato claims that it’s too sweet for him to finish on his own. You don’t question it. After all, you’re just children.

You still see the boy who proudly proclaimed that he was in love with you, offering you a poorly put together bundle of flowers that he declares he made himself. You’re not children at the time, barely adults but still so new to the harsh reality of the political world.

But now, years later, childhood innocence is only a fantasy that you can indulge in when you have time alone, left in your room with nothing but pictures and old trinkets that commemorate a friendship that consumed your youth. You’ve watched as Kamisato Ayato has grown from a boy to a man in just a short number of years, the misfortunes that befell upon his family still lingering in the shadows. You see it in the way he carries himself, head raised and shoulders pulled back, not a single misstep as he strides down the road. Years upon years of reminders and lessons are forever ingrained in his mind but you still notice the small habits he’s kept from childhood, from his anxious fiddling with the collar of his kimono, to the way his eyes brighten when he comes across something as simple as milk tea.

And tonight, the Yashiro Commission hosts a party in honour of the wedding between Hiiragi Chisato and Kujou Kamaji, the couple basking in smiles and congratulations, entertaining an eager crowd as you watch from a little ways away. The spotlight was meant for them, for the people of the high ruling families, where politics were like a game of chess and every little move was based on calculations. With the marriage of two people from the Hiiragi and Kujou clans, people have begun to turn their heads towards the Kamisato clan, eager whispers about the commissioner simmering in the background as offers are made and declined. Said man handles each approach with grace, bowing his head with respect as he forces a chuckle to be heard before sending away another invitation to marriage. He can feel your stare on him, and has caught the way your eyes seem to catch on his figure as you scan the room. Ayato watches the way you make small talk with Thoma and Ayaka, covering your mouth with your fan when his retainer apparently says something outrageously funny that it has you turning away so as to not make a scene. When was the last time you smiled at him like that?

“I apologize, but there’s something I need to take care of.” He offers the man in front of him a quick smile before slipping away, eyes trained on you as he leaves behind his umpteenth marriage offer of the night. Thoma and Ayaka notice him first, the latter darting her eyes between you and her brother before she leans in, her own mouth covered by her fan as she whispers something to you. He watches, almost painfully, when he notices the way you stiffen up and turn towards him. Your smile isn’t as wide, isn’t as bright, isn’t as genuine as he remembers.

“You came.” His words are gentle but the weight of them is made known to you as your eyes trace over his raised brows and parted mouth that begins to curl into a smile. Thoma mumbles something about checking the food, offering his arm to Ayaka who takes it quickly, patting you on the forearm gently before being whisked away to leave you and Ayato to some privacy.

“It would be rude of me to decline an invitation from the Yashiro Commissioner.” You can only watch as his smile wavers at your words, a reminder of the past that begins to claw at your chest now that you’re face to face with him for the first time in years.

He clears his throat and his hand reaches up to fix the collar of his kimono. “Of course, but I hadn’t heard you were back from Liyue, last I heard you were working abroad with the Feiyun Commerce Guild.” He’s lying, not that he’d tell you, that he’d known the moment you arrived back in Inazuma after being away for almost two years. Ayato wants to pinch himself, has it already been two years?

Two years ago you watched as storm clouds began to haze over his vision, Inazuma beginning to be thrown into a political turmoil as rumours of a decree being enacted in disfavour of vision holders began to run through the streets. You had voiced your concerns, not only for the political state of Inazuma and the growing tensions within the Tri-Commissions, but also for Ayato’s wellbeing. It was nothing new to see him engrossed in work, handling multiple tasks at once and slowly but surely, pushing people away under the excuse that he was too busy. The bags under his eyes seemed to pull him down day by day, and when the breaking point finally came, it was poison that spilled from his lips, his words so casually cruel as if he were being honest about your relationship.

---

“You don’t get it, do you?” You swallowed thickly at his words, taken aback by the sharp rise in volume. Ayato’s hands lay flat on the table, holding up his upper body as he leaned forward over his desk, eyes cold and uncaring as he stared back at you. The gift behind your back felt heavy as you sucked in a breath and waited for him to continue.

“I don’t need your help, and I haven’t for awhile now.” He sneered, “Archons, I swear the past few months you haven’t done anything to help. You’re in the way.”

“You don’t mean that.” Despite the hurt that sunk into your chest at his words, you tone was unwavering, pushing back against the stress that was far too evident upon his shoulders. “You’re overworking yourself and taking it out on me, so don’t give me that. You need to take a break, you can’t continue to work yourself to the bone.”

Ayato scoffed, “You’re not the Commissioner, are you? You don’t belong to any of the big three families, so tell me, what do you know about any of this?” His hand swept over the papers in front of him, sheets rustling in protest before settling down in their place.

“If you have nothing better to do than bother me, then leave. I don’t need you here.”

---

Now air feels thickened, clouded with unsaid words and broken promises, a first love washed away through the seasons. He’s older, more mature and understanding, with experiences, good and bad, tucked within his mind. And as he takes in your appearance, the way you hold yourself and stare back at him unflinchingly, he can only wonder what you’ve been up to in Liyue. He can only hear so much from his informants and diplomats that have been stationed in the land of the Geo Archon. The you who entertains friendly conversation during the day is still the same, with a warm smile and open hand ready to help. But behind closed doors will remain unknown to him. But now, away from the crowd of people and the secrets whispered behind decorated fans, it’s just you and Ayato and the bridge of memories that desperately holds you two together.

“You look good.” He allows his eyes to trace down the design of your kimono, a hint of pride shooting through him as he notices that it’s of the same silk he’d given to you on your eighteenth birthday.

“How eloquent of you.” Your tone is dry but he can hear the hidden teasing. It makes his smile grow wider, a little flame of hope sparking in his chest. “I had it made when I returned. After all, I haven’t had the chance to attend a party hosted by the Yashiro Commission since I left.” Your hands smooth down the fine silk, calloused fingers from years of training brushing against the embroidered designs. He looks down at the floor for a moment before smiling bitterly, the memories dancing in his head. His breaking point marked the downfall of it all. Words of affection became whispers in the dark before you had been the one to call things off, wishing him the best through tear clouded eyes and trembling hands. You left on the last day of Spring.

And how ironic it is, that today marks the first day of Spring, with the Sakura blossoms in full bloom and the hint of festivities just around the corner. He takes a breath, gathering whatever’s left of his slipping courage and offers a hand to you. “How about dinner sometime soon? Allow me to properly welcome you back to Inazuma.” He’s a bit late to that welcome, after all, you’d already been in Inazuma for a month, but if this is his chance to mend things, he’d take it in an instant. 

“I’m sorry.” His chest squeezes painfully at the words, “But I’m leaving back to Liyue in a matter of days. I still have business with the Feiyun Commerce Guild.”

“Is it someone else?” The words fall out before he can stop himself and he wants to kick himself when you lean away from him, eyes narrowed and mouth downturned. 

You scowl and resist the urge to cross your arms over your chest. “So what if it is?” Ayato doesn’t know what to say to that, because what right does he have to barge his way back into your life, offer you dinner and a date as if you’d never left, as if you’d stayed friends over the last couple years.

“It simply piqued my curiosity.” He lies and takes a step back when he catches sight of the way you grip your fan nervously. He takes in the way your fingers pick at the smooth wood, a telltale sign of your anxiety. 

“Of course.” You shake your head and step back. Ayato inhales sharply but stops himself from speaking when your lips part. “I should go, there are some things I need to take care of at home, before the night ends. This was a mistake, no, well, I’ve overstayed my welcome. But thank you, Lord Kamisato, for your time. I’m sure we’ll see each other around sometime.” You can’t bring yourself to care about any formalities as you ramble on, offering him half-hearted apologies. And in the end, the Yashiro Commissioner stays silent, just like you were, when he pushed you out of his life.

They say first loves are hard to forget. And Archons above, never has that been more apparent as Kamisato Ayato can only watch as you slip through his fingers once more and blend into the shadows, the click of the door shutting echoing in his mind. He swallows thickly, hands clammy and chest stinging with hurt. Did you have to wear that to walk out of his life?

reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! <3

Yandere Draco Malfoy (5/5)

Word count ; 4.9k

*Fun fact : I was so very tempted to make it an ending where R ends up carried to George Weasley and one of her kids was named after Draco. But I thought against it because I actually fell in love with the Draco I wrote up.

Bill and Fleur had opened their doors to us. It was quite kind. My mission had changed, though; I was concerned for Draco’s safety, especially now that his wand was in my possession. Harry had gifted it to me and told me that my help was needed elsewhere. 

That ‘elsewhere’ being Hogwarts. I was needed as a spy to keep watch on Hogwarts and the changing tides as Harry, Ron, and Hermione tried to do whatever they were doing. To be honest, I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that it was gong to save the day.

So, here I was, sitting next to Harry on the bed. I was going to head off, but only if Draco’s wand was suitable for my use. Harry and I were holding hands tensely as Mr. Olivander held the wand carefully. He had remorse wracking his entire bodice.

“Hawthorn. Unicorn hair. Ten inches. Reasonably plied.” He suddenly held it up to his ear, as though listening to the wand. “This was the wand of Draco Malfoy.”

“Was?” I prodded. “Is it not still?”

“Well, perhaps not. You won it from him. The wand speaks of your importance to the boy. I sense his allegiance is not only toward the boy, but with you.”

He ands it over to me again. I took it gently, stroking the wood while deep in thought. It’s allegiance was with me. Because Draco and I were in love. At least… I hoped he still loved me after my betrayal.

“You… talk about wands as if they have feelings,” Harry mentioned. “As if they can think.”

Mr. Olivander had a smile grow on his face as he leaned over to us. “The wand chooses the wizard Mr. Potter. That much has always been clear to us who study wand lore.”

“Fascinating,” I chimed in.

“And… what do you know about the Dealthy Hollows?”

Mr. Olivander’s expression grew stoney. “It is rumored there are three. The Elder Wand, the Cloak of Invisibility - to hide you from your enemies, and the Resurrection Stone - to bring back loved ones from the dead. Together, they make one the master of death. But few truly believe that such things exist —“

“Do you? Do you believe they exist?”

“Well, I see no reason to put thought into such an old wive’s tale.”

“You’re lying. You know one exists. You’ve told him about it. You’ve told him about the Elder Wand. And, well, he went looking for it.”

“He tortured me…” Mr. Olivander caved. “Besides… there’s only conveyed rumors. There’s no telling that he can find it.”

“But he has found it, hasn’t he?”

Silence, but only for a brief moment. Mr. Olivander looked regretful. Harry had learned what he came here to learn. He beckoned me with him. “We’ll let you rest,” I concluded, sending the man a reassuring smile.

The four of us exited the room. The moment the door closed, I turned to Harry.”I know you have the cloak of Invisibility. That means that you know the Deathly Hollows is true. Does that mean you plan on finding the Resurrection Stone?”

“Yes. Which is why we need you to wait at Hogwarts for us to return. We need eyes everywhere. He has made it clear that the final battle will take place there,” Harry conceded.

I nodded. “But what about… the Death Eaters?”

“I have a feeling that Malfoy and his wand will watch out for you. But, regardless, you will navigate Hogwarts with my Invisibility Cloak. You should be able to travel undetected. The Gryffindor common room password is…”

~~~

Hogwarts was going to absolute hell. The battle had begun, and my peers were in the middle of it. I had not seen the sun is so very long. Death Eaters were swarming the building. Half of the building was up in flames. I was terrified. But I knew that I played too important of a part to let it affect me. 

I had finally met up with the golden trio. We were standing outside of the Room of Requirement as the war raged on outside. We were safe for the moment; but I had an inkling it wouldn’t last long.

“Snape knows you’re here,” I hissed as Harry and I hovered outside the Room of Requirement. I had taken off the Cloak of Invisibility and handed it to Harry.

“Do the Death Eaters know you’re here?” Harry inquired in concern.

I shook my head. “No. I managed to sneak in successfully. The only people that do are the fellow students, who previously took refuge in the Room of Requirement. I helped sneak food in for the time being, but they were recently found out.”

Harry nodded in approval. “Good job. I knew you could do it.”

“What are we doing here, though?” I asked.

“I need to find the diadem so that I can find my connection with him again. It’s gotten to weak. I can’t sense him at all, but I need to know what he's planning next,” Harry explain.ed

“Understood. No reason to beat around the bush, then. Let’s go,” I conceded.

Harry opened the Room of Requirement, grabbing my hand for reassurance. My hand went to my waist, where Draco’s wand remained. I heard the roars and screams of terrified students down the hall. We didn’t have much longer. The rocks began to move as it opened itself to us.

Inside the room, was piles up the ceiling of food, books, and other magical relics. The room was dark, having nothing but the light of our wands to help is see. Certain relics sparked and shone, but not enough for us to truly take everything in.

“Lumos,” I cast. The rusted chandelier on the high ceiling lit up. It was dim from constant use and creaked from small breezes.

We began surveying the rows of items. There were pillars upon pillars. I made sure to leave a trail of sparks so that we did not lose our way. “We’re never going to find the diadem with the state of this place,” I complained.

“We have to. What’s going on right now is just a distraction fro what he’s really planning,” Harry insisted.

So, we kept searching the rows. Harry seemed to know the specifics of what we were looking for, which was lovely, since I had no idea what to look for. Harry sudden halted. I bumped into him as he turned. His eyes were fixated on a pile of ropes. His pace was slow as he lifted the ropes off, only to reveal a wooden box.

I watched as he opened it. Inside was a raven tiara with a blue gem in the center. It was indeed the diadem. 

Gently, Harry picked it up. It was whispering to him. I was just as entranced by the tiara —

“Well, well.”

I jumped and took out my wand, quickly realizing I was pointing it at none other than Draco. Out of pure shock,  I lost dropped my wand. Harry protectively stood in front of me. Even if the darkness, I could see that Draco was angry. Furious, even. His handsome features were curled into a snide snark.

Draco, Goyle, and Blaise walked closer toward us, their wands out. “What brings you here, Potter?”

“I could ask you the same.”

Draco’s eyes flickered over to me. “You have some things of mine. I’d like them back. Y/n, get over here and return my wand. Now.”

“What wrong with the one you have?”

Draco narrowed his eyes. “It’s my mother’s. It’s powerful, but it’s… not the same. Doesn’t quite… understand me. Know what I mean?”

I decided to step around Harry. I still had the wand pointed toward Draco. Harry let me shield him, although his hand soundly resided on my waist. He was nervous; Harry only touched me when we was in a negative mindset.

“Draco, let’s stop this nonsense,” I pleaded. “You don’t have to turn us in. I know you aren’t the villain you are forced to be.”

He sneered, his glare residing on the hand on my waist. Realizing, I swatted Harry’s hand away. “I’m doing what’s needed to protect you. Even you’re too much of a bloody idiot to realize what’s good for you. And clearly Potter’s too much of a bastard to keep his hands off what’s mine to begin with.”

“She’s her own person!” Harry barked, but I stomped my foot on his toes to shut him up.

“You think I don’t know that?” Draco roared. “Potter, I’ve always hated you from the day we first met. I knew from the bottom of my heart that you would ruin me. And here you are, stealing the woman I love. There’s nothing I want more than to turn you in to the Dark Lord himself —“

“Draco, I love you!” I shrieked. Panic washed over me. Fear. “Harry and I are friends! We’re working together to stop the Dark Lord! You’ve truly gotten it all wrong. Can’t we just talk?”

His face softened, but only for a moment. His glare was seemingly looking through me. “That may be what you think, love. But I know Potter better than you. He’s trying to take you away form me. He already has once. He’s been after you rom the day he met you —“

“I’m with Ginny —“ Harry attempted to interrupt.

“Silence!” Draco roared. His entire body was shaking with fury. “You took the only good thing in my life away from me when I needed her most. You’re to blame for everything that’s happening now. I wish you just let yourself die with your parents.”

Goyle inched up behind him. “Go on, Draco. Do it. Don’t be a coward,” he whispered in his ear.

There was no doubt in my mind at that moment. The Draco who I loved was not present. I knew he was on the verge of casting a spell. There was no more talking to be done.

“Expelliarmus!” I cried.

Draco dodged the spell, jumping front of Goyle. Instead, Blaise was hit. Immediately, the boy turned tail and fled the scene. Harry made a run for the tiara while I shot more spells toward the duo.

“Avadao Kadavra!” Draco howled, shooting the spell at Harry.

I screamed, trying my best to defend him from the spell. Tears of panic slid down my cheeks as I could do nothing but watch. Harry was in the process of picking up the tiara. I was about to scream again, but instead of hitting Harry, it reflected off the tiara and sent it flying out of his hands. I noticed it went all the way to the top of the pile.

“Stupefy!” Draco cast toward me.

I blocked the spell and cast a Stupefy right back at him. Both of our attention was keen on one another, which allowed Harry to ascend the pile of junk while Goyle tried shooting him. I wanted to target Goyle for Harry's sake, but Draco suddenly shouted,” Goyle, we have to regroup!”

They took off, Draco barely dodging my spell. I figured they were too scared, but I was still on guard. Instead, I began climbing up the pile with Harry, searching through to find the tiara. Each time I grabbed inside, it wasn't what we were looking for. Instead, I pulled out several imps and pixies.

“I found it!" Harry yelled from the top of the pile. 

“Good!” I replied, letting my body slide down the filth-covered junk. We regrouped at the bottom, dusting one another off.

“There's no way he's not coming back," Harry panted.

“I know," I agreed. "But Blaise needs his wand first.” We paused for a moment. However, from a distance, we heard a roar. “Oh no.” I shoved Draco’s wand into Harry’s grasp. “You need this more than I do, Harry. Draco’s not intending to kill me.”

Harry accepted it in the knick of time. Rounding the corner was a large dragon made of fire. Its roar echoed in the corridor. Harry grabbed my wrist and we broke into a run. My calves burned as we dashed around corners. We were fast from constantly having to save our arses, but not fast enough. The dragon was rapidly gaining on us. Over the roars, I could hear Draco’s manic, snide cackles.

Magic fire flooded the Room of Requirement, hot on our tails. Harry suddenly slowed, training the wand on a pile and send it in the way of the fire. That gave us a few extra seconds, but an explosion sounded behind us. Junk flew at us, and we narrowly dodged it.

We ended up circling right into Draco. He looked furious as he focused on fueling the dragon. When he saw us approaching, he attempted to stop the spell. However, fire continued to spew from the tip. Harry weaved around them, but I slowed enough to grab Draco's wrist. I tore the wand away from him and tossed it into the oncoming fire. We took off, Draco’s furry dissolving into pure terror. 

We rounded the corner into a complete dead end. Blaise and Goyle were right behind us. I released Draco and began climbing the rubble. The boys followed suit. I could only pray that Harry was not being reduced into an ashen mush. 

We continued to climb the pile. But suddenly, Goyle grabbed onto a loose chair. I screamed as the boy fell into the pit of raging fire. I made it to the top with Draco and Blaise. To our luck, there were two broomsticks on the top. Draco fell off, but I caught his wrist. I pulled him up as Blaise saddled up and zipped away on one.

Draco and I took the other broom. We escaped the fire in time, leaving the roaring dragon out of reach. Luckily, Harry had also grabbed a broom. The four of us zoomed near the ceiling.

“Harry! Where's the exit?” I shouted.

“Just follow me!”

The junk was collapsing around us. I weaved the broomstick, completely in control, and Draco clutched me close by the waist. I could feel his tears streaming down my neck. Harry shot a spell to move a wave of fire out of the way. The exit was finally in view. We finally maneuvered through the door, our brooms colliding with the ground.

I let out a yelp of pain as my body went rolling across the ground. My head hit a stone column, causing my ears to ring and my head to spin. A wave of nausea washed over me as I curled in on myself, pressing my knees to my chest. Sobs escaped as I clawed at the hard ground. I felt something wet dripping down the back of my head.

I forced my eyes to open. Draco clawed his way over to me, and I almost threw up right then and there when he grabbed my body and pulled me to his chest. I curled my head into his beck, peering over his shoulder. I saw that Blaise had completely abandoned us, and Harry was planning to. He held Draco's wand and the tiara still.

I knew he was contemplating saving me. But I was with Draco, so I knew I would be fine. So, I mustered a reassuring smile. He nodded my way before grabbing the Cloak of Invisibility from outside the entrance and disappeared from sight.

“Episky,” Draco cast shakily.

All my pain slowly vanished as I felt magic flowing through my veins. I gulped down my saliva and mustered a dry chuckle. “We should have just talked it out.”

Draco suddenly broke down completely, sobs echoing in the hall. I felt much better and pulled away from him just enough so I could cup his cheeks. I wiped away his tears. I kept wiping them, placing a chaste kiss on his forehead. I hushed him gently, letting him cry.

As he quieted down, I placed a kiss on his lips. He kissed back greedily, pulling me into him once more. Our heaving chests pressed against one another and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Once we pulled away from one another, he exhaled.

“I’m so sorry,” he rasped.

“I forgive you, Draco. You know how much I love you. I just… wish you could do the right thing, love.”

He leaned his forehead against mine. Shame swept over his handsome, tired features. “I wish I could, love. But all I can do is what’s best for you.”

~~~

I could do nothing but sob into Draco’s chest. The moment we saw Voldemort and the hoard of Death Eaters sauntering across the bridge, I knew what that meant. I knew Harry had to be dead.

Draco and I had gathered in the courtyard with some of the other students. They had insisted on throwing him in the dungeon, but I talked them out of it. A part of me wish we’d gone back inside, because knowing that Harry was dead was the same as knowing that it was all over. That Voldemort had won.

Neville and other Gryffindor students emerged from the rubble. I paid him no heed, though, as my gaze on the sight could not be repressed.

Voldemort was but a few feet from us. I was not afraid, even though he was holding the Elder Wand in his clutches. I could never be afraid, so long as Draco was with me. I had become numb to the chaos. All I focused on was him.

Nagini, his pet snake was accompanying the Dark Lord. Voldemort looked oh-so smug. As though he was the ruler of the world. Probably because now, he knew he could be. I almost lost it once more as I realize that Hagrid had Harry’s corpse in his clutches. He was dead and unmoving.

“Harry Potter… is dead!” Voldemort cried, raising his hands into the air. Ginny suddenly screamed, trying to run toward Harry. Voldemort cast a spell toward Ginny, sending her flying back into Ron and Hermione. “Silence! Stupid girl… Harry Potter is dead.” He began strolling toward her. I was shaking in my boots, fearing for the worst. “From this day forward, you put your faith in me.”

Silence fell over the courtyard. “Harry Potter is dead!” he cheered once more. The Death Eaters erupted in cruel laughter and claps. Voldemort looked jubilant. 

I wrapped my arms around Draco’s torso. My lips quivered, and I tried to compose myself. Draco petted my hair, hushing me. I could tell he was terrified.

Voldemort held out his arms toward the Hogwarts students. “And now is the time to declare yourselves with us. Or not.”

Lucius suddenly called for Draco, beckoning him forward. Draco nudged me, steeling his expression. He pushed me aside and walked toward Voldemort. I followed hi. I would always follow him. I knew that the Hogwarts students thought less of me as I did so. But I did not care. Draco was what was important now that Harry was dead.

Voldemort looked pleased as we emerged from the crowd. He opened his arms wide to us. Draco grabbed my hand. His entire body was shaking. 

“Ah! Well done, Draco, Y/n. Well done.” He enveloped us both in a cold, loose hug, his scales hands patting our backs. “I have something to return to you, young Y/n.” From his pocket, he withdrew my wand. 

I nodded my head as thanks. Draco tugged me over to the Death Eaters. Lucius pulled us over. Narcissa wrapped her arms around my shoulders and held me close. Some tears escaped. Draco wiped them away carefully.

Neville began hobbling forward. Voldemort rudely remarked,” Well, I must say, I was hoping for better.” The crowd erupted in laughter. But not us. “And who might you be, young man?”

“Neville Longbottom.”

More laughter. I covered my ears with my hands. Narcissa shushed and cradled me.

“Well, Neville, I’m sure we can find a place for you in our ranks.”

“I’d like to say something,” he exclaimed.

I noticed how tense Voldemort became. “Well, Neville, I’m sure we’d all be fascinated to hear what you have to say.”

“Doesn’t matter that Harry’s gone. People die here every day! Friends, family… Yeah. We lost harry tonight. But he’s still with us. In here!” He motioned to his heart. I noticed that Voldemort had raised his wand. “So is Fred. Remus. Tonks. All of them. They didn’t die in vain.” He bravely turned to Voldemort. “But you will. Because you’re wrong! Harry’s heart does beat for us! For all of us! It’s not over!”

He unsheathed a sword. Suddenly, Harry’s corpse fell on the ground. But then I realized - it was no corpse. He truly was alive. He was resurrected!

I realized that Voldemort was about to cast a spell on Harry. “Stupefy!” I shrieked, stunning Voldemort. I departed from the crowd, a surge of confidence and bravery blossoming in my bosom. I had to do it. For Harry. For Draco.

Harry stunned Voldemort again. He took off, disappearing behind the courtyard columns. Voldemort moaned in aggravation. Voldemort sent one spell his way; a wave of fire and smoke. However, he veered toward me. 

The world around me seemed to slow.

“Avada…

“Kadavra!” he bellowed. 

I tried my best to refute it, but it was about to hit me. It was oh-so close. I was going to die. 

It was as though my life flashed before my eyes. So many good memories. With friends. With family. With Draco, the love of my life. I let out a scream of terror as my wand clattered to the ground. A large weight fell on me. I thought that it was weight of my heart dropping dead. 

My head hurt. My body ached. Something was on top of me.

Screams and battle roars erupted. But, the weight was suddenly pushed off me. I opened my eyes. Nothing had happened.

Nothing had happened.

I scrambled to my hands and knees. As I connected the dots, from scrapes on my knees to Draco’s limp body. I realized. I screamed. Oh, but the screaming was not enough. I pulled his head onto lap, slapping and twisting his head every which way in hopes he would wake up. 

The war was raging around me. I knew we were winning the war. But I did not care. He was dead. I had killed him. I was the reason he was dead. Because I felt the need to be brave, when all I was supposed to do was watch from the sidelines.

Narcissa collapsed beside me, clutching her boy’s hands. She was sobbing so loudly as Lucius cradled her. I could not tell if I was crying. My mouth was open, but I did not know if anything was coming out.

“Please,” I squeaked. “Please wake up!” I continued shaking his body. “Please, Draco, please…”

Narcissa moved to me and held me in her arms. I sobbed into her cloak, the sheer agony unbearable. I noticed Narcissa grab my wand from beside her. I looked up at her crying eyes as she held the wand to my head.

“Bewitching somnum.”

~~~

“…Harry Potter is coming toward us.”

Lucius. He sounded shaken up.

“I want that boy dead. He’s the reason my… my son,” Narcissa’s speech transformed into gibberish as she broke down in sobs.

I was on the ground. Memories flooded me. Voldemort. Harry. Draco.

I sat up. The sky was clear. The rubbish around me was what was left of Hogwarts castle. Narcissa rubbed my back. She was with Lucius. I was… on the bridge. The air was silent. I knew that we had won. But… Draco… it did not feel like it.

Not without you here.

Tears threatened to fall as Harry, Hermione, and Ron stopped in front of us. Harry offer me a hand, pulling me to my feet. I enveloped him in a warm, welcoming hug.

“I’m so glad you’re alive,” I whispered.

“I wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for you. For Draco.”

The mention of his name was too much. I began sobbing violently. Harry her me to his chest. But Harry rubbed circles on my back. I heard Narcissa sobbing behind me with Lucius. 

He sounded far too chipper. I knew he had defeated Voldemort, but I did not need him to gloat. “There, there. You don’t want to be all tired out.”

“He’s dead, Harry. The love of my life is gone!” I shrieked, pushing him away. I went to bury my head in my hands, but Harry began fishing around in his pocket. He withdrew a small, square stone with encryptions. I could’ve sworn that my heart stopped beating as I stared at the stone. “Is… is that…”

“Come along, then, Y/n. We don’t want to keep him waiting,” Hermione giggled, stepping around Harry to tug on my arm. “You too, Malfoys. I’m sure you’ll be delighted to see your son again.”

I turned to the Malfoys. I nodded to them, biting back a smile. They look confused. Baffled, even. For good reason. But… I knew. Harry had come to save the day once more. I grabbed both of their lower arms. As Harry led us back to the courtyard - former battlefield -, I sent them a reassuring smile. 

Harry had found the Resurrection Stone.

My heart trembled with excitement as I dropped on my hands and knees in front of Draco’s body. Narcissa kept crying, thinking that it would be some sort of funeral. But Harry grabbed my hand and dropped the Resurrection stone in.

“How… do I use it?” I asked carefully, steeling myself.

“You turn your hand over three times.”

I turned to Draco once more, swiping his ivory locks out of his filth-covered face. I flipped my hand over. One. I flipped it over again. Two. And for the final flip.

Three.

Nothing happened. In that moment, I wanted to pass out. Had I done it wrong?

I kept shaking my hand, but Harry grabbed me, stopping. I sent him a furious glare, but it dissipated as he motioned to the sky. I looked up.

A large, black wisp was descending from the sky. I watched adamently as it circled over Draco’s body. My jaw had dropped a long time ago, but it did twice as much now. Within the inky smoke, I could see memories. Starting from when he was a wee child, playing in the lake with his mother, to when he was with me. All up til now.

The wisp then dissolved against Draco’s suit. For a minute, nothing happened. But I moved to cup his cheeks, turning his head over in my hands. Narcissa and Lucius crouched beside me, just as mystified. 

And that’s when I felt it. 

The warmth returned to his pale, lifeless cheeks. His fingers began to twitch. And just like that, his eyes shot open. I let out a squeal of delight, pulling him into my chest. I felt him fight, and when he pulled away, he looked bewildered.

Lucius completely broke down, pushing me away to hug his boy. A laugh escaped as I carelessly tossed the stone away. Narcissa squealed in delight and hugged both Lucius and Draco. I watched in absolutely zealous shock.

Lucius looked at me. He opened his arms. I gratefully joined in with the hug. It felt so right. But as Draco pushed us all away, clearly confused, I laughed even harder. He stared at me. “What the bloody hell happened?”

“You… you were dead, Draco,” Lucius stuttered.

Draco deadpanned. “Are you kidding?”

Narcissa held her son’s hands, tears gliding down her cheek. “Harry brought you back to life. I… I don’t know how, but…” Lucius held his wife once more, rocking her back and forth.

Draco turned to me. I could see the cogs in his brain churning as he digested this. He finally peered over at Harry, Ron and Hermione. He dusted off his pants and rose to his feet. Harry stood in front of him, smiling politely.

Draco cleared his throat. He suddenly jutted his hand out for harry to shake. “I… suppose a thank you is in order.”

I rose to my feet as well, wrapping my arms around Draco’s waist. I plopped my head on his shoulder, nuzzling against it. “Oh, Draco…. Thank you, Harry. I don’t know what I would’ve done without him… I swear, I’ll name our kids after the whole lot of you! Thank you, Harry —“

“Now that’s a bit of a reach,” Draco mumbled. 

“Not at all! Come now, Draco. How does Scorpius Harry Malfoy sound? Or - or James Malfoy? That sounds much better, actually —“

My friends erupted in laughter. Draco turned toward me and shut me up with a kiss to my lips. I absolutely melted in his grasp, just like the first time we confessed. When he pulled away, he rolled his eyes. “I love you, but I refuse to name my kid after Potter. No offense, Potter.”

“None taken, Draco.”

I sent him a cheeky grin. “Oh, well, we’ll have to see bout that, won’t we?”

Masterlist

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ: ᴀʟʟ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴀɢꜱ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴇxᴘʟɪᴄɪᴛʟʏ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇᴅ ᴏɴ EACH POSTS, ᴇɴꜱᴜʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ꜱɪɴᴄᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴍᴀʏ ᴏʀ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴ ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴛᴏᴘɪᴄꜱ ꜱᴜᴄʜ ᴀꜱ ɴᴏɴ-ᴄᴏɴꜱᴇɴꜱᴜᴀʟ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜɪɴɢꜱ ᴏʀ ᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇ. ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ!

Edit: Feel free to let me know if some of the links do not match up to the title or do not work!

I haven't updated this list for basically two years now

General Headcanons

➸Kiss [Yandere Genshin Headcanons]

➸[Yan! Mermaid.Childe or Kazuha x Princess!Reader]

Albedo

➸Apricity [Yan!Albedo x Fem!Reader]

➸Picture Perfect [Yan!Albedo x Fem!Reader]

Arlecchino

➸Knave [Yan! Arlecchino x Gender-neutral! Reader]

Capitano

➸The Broken Promise of Chasity [Yan!Capitano x Saintess!Reader]

➸Harbinger of Misery [Yan! Capitano x Saintess! Reader]

Columbina

➸The Sloth [Yan! Columbina x Saintess! Reader x Yan! Capitano]

Childe

➸Fall into The Abyss [Yan!Childe x Childhood friend!Reader]

➸A Question of Lust [Yan!Childe x Saintess!Reader x Slight.Yandere! Capitano]

➸Marriage [Yan!Childe x Fem!Reader]

➸[Tutor!Childe x Fem!Reader]

➸Lure the Midnight Hour [Yan!Childe x Nun!Reader]

Diluc

➸Changes within Time [Yan!Diluc x Childhood friend! Reader]

➸Sleepless nights [Yan!Diluc x Fem!Reader]

➸Evanscent [Yan!Diluc x Fem!Reader]

Dottore

➸Imagine Dottore as your doctor

➸The Doctor's Envy [Yan!Dottore x Saintess!Reader]

Pantalone

➸Imagine Pantalone as your banker.

➸More than just Greed [Yan!Pantalone x Saintess!Reader]

➸Munificence [Yan!Pantalone x Childhood!Fem.Reader]

➸In the Greed to play God [Yan! Pantalone x Saintess! Reader]

Scaramouche

➸The Synthetic Pride [Yan! Scaramouche x Saintess!Reader]

➸Surging Stream [Yan!Scaramouche x Fem!Reader]

Xiao

➸Flush of Youth [Yan!Xiao x Fem!Reader]

Zhongli

➸Ineffable [Yan! Zhongli x Fem! Reader]

LOVE IS ACCEPTANCE (DABI x READER) (WC: 2K+)

H of H: I cannot rise. Too heavy with filth and sin. 

Th: Give me your hand. 

H of H: I’ll stain you. 

Th: I’ll take it.

- H of H Playbook, Anne Carson

Dabi doesn’t know if you remember the first time he opened up to you. He does, though. He remembers. He thinks his life is split into two halves: before and after he began to trust you.

Because every decision he made, every reveal of information, was planned on his end. He’d thought each one over and over in his mind, making a pros and cons list of the weight they might hold. Ruminating over the fear that one day, the weight will shift. The scale will tip and he will be all in, fully trusting you to carry his sins along with him. He knows he can’t go all in, but he’s willing to venture as close to the tipping point as possible. He deserves to, he likes to think. He deserves a moment of comfort, even if that’s all it is—a moment. 

Of all of the fights, arguments, and trouble that Dabi has gotten himself into, not once has he let someone tend to his minor wounds. He had his reasons—he was plenty capable of handling them himself, he’d survived on the aid of his own hand for this long, he knew that he could get the job done, and quite frankly it wasn’t anyone else’s fucking business. 

So when he finds himself practically crawling up the stairs to your apartment after getting torn up pretty badly, he wonders what the hell he thinks he’s doing right now. 

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© pet_foolery

Velvet and Vice - An Astarion Quote Prompt List for Smut Writers

As requested, one smut quote prompt list for Astarion coming right up! I've divided this into two sections: Before and During (under the cut for obvious reasons). Before the smut and during the smut. All lines are fully gender neutral. As before, drop me a tag if you use any of these! I'd love to see them in action.

Gif by @gortash on Tumblr!

Before

"Oh, darling. I didn't realise it was this easy to have you wrapped around my finger."

"I don't even have to say a word, do I? You're already thinking about it."

"You look delectable in this light. Good enough to eat, one might say."

"Patience was never my virtue. But for you, I might make an exception."

"Darling, your gaze is positively ravenous. Careful, or I might think you want to devour me."

"Your eagerness is flattering, truly. Though I can hardly be blamed for being so alluring, can I?"

"You're quite the temptation, darling. And I've always had trouble resisting those."

"I promise, the only marks I'll leave are the ones you beg me for."

"Oh, my sweet. I plan on making sure you remember every. Single. Detail."

"I promise to be gentle. Unless, of course, you'd prefer otherwise."

During

"I've barely laid a finger on you, and you're already breathless. Oh, this will be fun."

"Darling, if you keep making sounds like that, I might just lose my focus. And we wouldn't want that, now, would we?"

"My, my. Aren't you just full of hidden talents? I'm positively intrigued."

"You look so vulnerable; so deliciously at my mercy. Shall I show you just how much I enjoy that?"

"You're a masterpiece like this, you know. And I've always had a taste for the finer things."

"You're playing with fire, darling. Keep it up, and I'll ensure neither of us gets any rest tonight."

"You're so delightfully sensitive. It's almost criminal how easily I can drive you mad."

"You're being so good for me, darling. I think you deserve a little more, don't you?"

"Care to discover just how talented these fingers can be?"

"I've barely begun, and you're already putty in my hands. How terribly convenient for me."

"You have no idea how delectable you look right now. It's almost unfair, really."

"Oh, darling. You didn't think I'd be satisfied with just that, did you? We're just getting started."

"My, such enthusiasm. One might think you've been fantasising about this for days."

"If you want my attention, you'll have to earn it. Show me how badly you need it."

"Always so eager to please. I do love that about you."

I also write Astarion fanfiction! Masterlist can be found here.

Non-smut Astarion quotes for general use here!

Addendum to the warnings: spitting.

Synopsis: Your quiet village life is suddenly upended one foggy morning as forgein ships beach on the wet sand of your Isle. You know they can only be after one thing, your sister, for she is gifted with Sight. Sworn to protect her, you urge her to run and hide while you assess the damage only to find that you are both greatly out matched and out numbered. Will you be willing to fight the Gods to insure your sister's safety or will you accept the hand you were dealt?

Chapter One : July 10th

Chapter Two: July 17th

Chapter Three: July 24th

Chapter Four: July 31st

Chapter Five: August 7th

Chapter Six: August 14th

Chapter Seven: August 21st

Final Chapter: August 28th

Note: If anything is spelled wrong or there are any grammatical errors, do not come for me. This was a fic inspired by a piece of fanart that I wrote in less than 72 hours start to finish. Please just enjoy my labor of love and hyperfixation.

Taglist:

@bakugotrashpanda @kingkatsuki @mindninjax @thewheezingwyvern

(I am no longer doing a tag list for this fic or for anything in the future for personal reasons. Thank you)

“i love you and i love you.” ᡣ𐭩

{yuta okkotsu x f!reader}

summary: yuta okkotsu has been hopelessly in love with you since he was fifteen. you, his muse and his reason to live as you took care of him growing up more than anyone else in his life. in fear of breaking your best friend pact and losing you entirely, yuta swallows his feelings for the sake of keeping you in his life, but he can only take so much.

warnings: college au, friends to best friends to lovers trope, lowkey ooc yuta oops, mentions of underage drinking, hopelessly devoted and lovesick yuta for reader, cursing!!! both reader and yuta cuss lol, lots and lots of fluff, ANGST, afab!reader, use of y/n, pet names, no smut in this one! slight sexual themes, reader is older than yuta by two years.

word count: 8.7k

authors note: YAAALLL i actually poured my heart and soul out into this one so i really hope it reaches your heart and soul as well! it is so so cute and i had so much fun writing it. this is definitely not the end of this au! i plan to write more short stories that take place after this one :) mwah.

————————————————————————

yuta was thirteen years old when he first saw you.

you were a casual friend of his older brother who had invited his entire group of friends over for a thanksgiving feast reunion amongst yourselves. yuta stayed locked in his room for the most part, from time to time lazily making his way down the halls and through the kitchen where you all sat to get a glass of water for himself, silently savoring at the food on the table.

eventually you had picked up on his lame attempts of coming into the kitchen for random excuses, concluding that he just wanted to gawk at the food and maybe score a bite or two of the pumpkin pie drenched in whipped cream, sitting pretty and proud in the middle of the table.

but after various unsuccessful attempts and various defeated stomps down the hall and back to his room after every shoo from his brother, he knew he wasn’t going to get even a lick. at the end of the night when the group settled down and many began to take their leave, yuta made his way back down one more time in search of any lucky scraps left behind.

but what he found instead was you, standing in the kitchen with a white porcelain plate in your hands, a slice of pumpkin pie drenched in whipped cream sitting pretty in the middle.

“for you,” you had said calmly, plate outstretched, beckoning him to take it. “i saw you come down a few times looking at it, and i think whoever brought it is taking the rest of it back home, so here.”

yuta had never spoken to a girl before, much less a fifteen year old one with the sweetest smile he had ever seen in his life on her face, but he timidly and awkwardly took the smooth plate from your offering hands, and muttered a squeaky thank you before stumbling down the hall and slamming his bedroom door shut.

from then on, yuta looked forward to the next time his brother would have his friends over, nagging at him constantly with questions of when, and even going as far as to straight up planning the hangouts himself (the location of all of them being at their house of course), but his brother would only shove him out of his room and lock the door shut.

luckily for yuta his wish was granted, and his curious eyes saw you around a lot more often than not, and you gradually became a close friend of yuta’s brother instead of just casual one. every time you came over to his house, you always greeted him with the biggest smile on your face before going into his brother’s room with the rest of the group. and over time, your greetings to yuta went from sweet smiles, to pats on the head, to ruffling up his hair occasionally, and to his personal favorite, the side hug.

you always were around in yuta’s growing life and always made sure he had gotten something to eat that day, or if he had a ride to soccer practice, or if his phone had enough battery to last him through his tutoring sessions, or even if he had someone going to watch his soccer games in the mornings (which was never).

yuta was fifteen when he realized he liked you.

“so no one is going?” you asked sharply, “again?”

yuta shrugged. “its at eight o’ clock in the morning. i don’t expect anyone to, not even you-“

“well i’m going,” you said simply, putting the rest of your textbooks away in your locker and slamming it shut. “geez not even your brother goes to your games? i’m gonna yell at him later.”

“it’s fine.” yuta shook his head and gave you a small smile, his insides twisting and contorting with an overwhelming boy crush for you. “a lot of my teammates parents don’t go either, usually only to the first two of the season.”

but not you. you went every single time, even going as far as dragging his brother with you so he could have family there to watch him play. yuta always made sure to turn and raise a hand to you from across the field, waving it side to side before getting back in the game, his heart thumping wildly in his chest with an insane sense of adrenaline to do good on the field and show off— because you were watching.

yuta was still fifteen when he realized you liked his brother.

firstly, he felt utterly stupid for not picking up on it before. yuta was always too busy staring at you and memorizing every inch and detail of your face to realize that you were looking at his brother the same way yuta looked at you. he was too busy running around in soccer fields and eating the ham sandwiches you always made for him after practices to realize how red your face would get when you sat next to his brother during his games, or when you gave him sandwiches. yuta was too busy drooling over you in his mind that sometimes you wouldn’t even notice him waving at you from across the field like he always did, your eyes trained on his brother instead, that sweet smile he was all too familiar with shining for someone else.

it wasn’t fair. it wasn’t fair at all. yuta felt like his brother always got everything and he always ended up with scraps. yuta never got a friend group like his, or a stellar reputation in a sport like he did, or people at his beck and call everywhere he went, or nominations for pointless shit like homecoming king.

but yuta didn’t give a flying fuck about any of that. he didn’t want any of that. he wanted you. just you.

but he couldn’t have you.

yuta was sixteen when he realized he was in love with you.

he had been for a while actually, and he knew it, but the thought alone of you liking his stupid brother only fueled the fire of denial to save himself from getting hurt more than he already was.

but it was absolutely pouring rain that day, his tutoring session having been cancelled last minute due to the weather, and because of this he had no ride home and no umbrella to even attempt at walking home, not that he could anyways seeing as it would take him thirty minutes to do so. yuta absolutely could not take that chance. he had his laptop in his backpack with all of his school work, and worst of all, his final project that he had been working on since the beginning of the school year, a precious green portfolio filled with notes worth more than gold to him.

yuta grumbled as he scuffed his feet against the concrete at the front of his school under a rooftop, lips pressed into a thin line in annoyance. his parents were at work, there was no way they could just drop everything and go to him (not that they would anyways), and his brother was too busy hanging out with you doing god knows what at god knows where— so even calling you was out of the picture.

at the mere thought of you hanging out with his brother, he sighed softly, sadly, and slumped down on a blue bench with his cold hands stuffed into the pockets of his jacket, eyes trained to the ground.

heavy pit pats of rain smacked against the ground as he sat there in thought, the sounds of cars zooming down the wet streets as the only source of life around besides himself, seeing as it was already late in the day and everybody else had gone home. without him even noticing, the front doors beside him creaked open as he sat there grumbling.

“yuta?”

his head snapped up upon hearing your pretty voice call out to him, his eyes wide as he saw you standing there with an umbrella.

“what are you doing here?” he asked softly, standing up. yuta looked at you then and noticed your eyes were red and tired, and a shock of worry shot up his spine.

“i was-”

“are you okay?” he asked quickly. “your eyes are red.”

“oh really?” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes with your palm, waving him off. “it’s nothing, i didn’t even notice.”

he pursed his lips, concern written all over his face as he took in your defeated expression, but before he could press any further, you spoke again.

“why aren’t you in tutoring?”

“oh they cancelled last minute,” he stuffed his hands further into his jacket and looked to the side. “i don’t have a ride home now because of it, and i can’t even walk home because it’s raining hard as fuck and i have my laptop in my backpack.”

you hummed in understanding, and even though it looked like the worst possible thing ever just happened to you, you gave him that same sweet smile he craved every time he saw you. “let’s walk to your house together. i have an umbrella we can try and fit under.”

he looked at you incredulously. “no no! it’s okay! you live down the street i don’t want to make you walk thirty minutes in the rain with me and thirty back-”

“it’s okay!” you laughed. “i would never leave you here by yourself yu, you know that.”

oh how he loved when you called him that.

his shoulders slowly relaxed, a wobbly cute smile spreading across his face, his cheeks a fuzzy pink. “okay.”

you walked together in a comfortable silence, your little umbrella just barely covering the both of you and yuta’s cheeks were still an intense pinky shade due to the close proximity, his steamy breath basically fanning the side of your ear as he huddled close to you.

after a few minutes spent walking on the sidewalk, yuta spoke up again.

“why are your eyes red?”

you immediately froze, but relaxed quickly.

“just tired s’all,” you responded weakly, but the little wobbling of your bottom lip told him otherwise.

yuta slowly lifted his hand and reached out, placing it softly on top of yours and clenching over the stem of the umbrella. the action caused you both to stop walking, your curious eyes snapping to his.

his palm felt like it was on absolute fire at the feeling of your soft hand under his, yuta’s breath trembling as he breathed out.

he swallowed. “can you please tell me why.”

your eyes flooded with tears then, and you shut them tightly as you dropped your forehead solemnly to rest against his shoulder, your frame shaking with quiet sobs escaping your lips.

yuta’s eyes softened and he quickly took the umbrella from you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders in a tight hug. his heart thumped so hard against his chest that he could hear it ringing through his ears.

he patted the back of your head gently. “what happened? what’s going on?”

you shook your head against his chest.

“y/n..” he sighed worriedly, running a soothing hand over your shaking back now.

“i have a crush on your brother,” you sobbed.

he knew. god he knew. but hearing you say it out loud broke his heart ten times more than it did when he found out on his own.

yuta slightly pulled back, bending his knees a little to look at you at eye level, his hand on your shoulder.

“i know.”

your eyebrows furrowed, more silent tears spilling from your eyes. “you know?”

yuta nodded, smiling sadly at you as he wiped your tears with his thumb, your eyes closing as he did so. “i spend almost every second of my life with you, of course i know. i noticed.”

you sniffed.

“weren’t you just with him now?” he asked.

your eyes shut tightly again, eyebrows contorted in pain as you nodded. “i confessed to him. i wanted to tell him before we graduated next month.”

you lifted your hands and covered your face, sobbing into them. “i’ve loved him since middle school.”

loved?

yuta’s shoulders slumped as he stared straight ahead, feeling like he wanted to crawl into a deep dark hole and stay there.

“he-“ you hiccuped. “he rejected me.”

his head snapped down immediately, eyebrows furrowing in a mix of disbelief and anger. “huh? he rejected you?”

you nodded, dropping your hands from your eyes and burying your head in his chest.

“why? what did he say?”

“he said he didn’t feel the same way—” you stopped for a moment to even out your breaths. “and that he was sorry.”

yuta scoffed, shaking his head. “what a big fucking loser.”

you snorted at that, and he looked down at you fondly, relieved you laughed.

“he… he thanked me for everything that i’ve done for your family though, especially you.”

he stayed silent.

“he said he was thankful that i was like another sibling for you, and that i took care of you.”

another sibling?

yuta didn’t say anything, that phrase like a slash through his heart while he still thought about how much of a fucking idiot he was to reject you. you, out of anyone deserved to get everything you wanted. you were selfless, incredibly sweet, the most gorgeous human being to ever walk this earth, and you had done so much for everyone that you neglected your own needs all of the time.

how could he not love you back? how could his brother not see the angel in his life that loved him, that sentiment alone an absolute privilege to have? something he would kill for?

yuta knew he shouldn’t make this about himself. he knew you were absolutely hurting and heartbroken, but he just had to know. it was eating him alive inside and out and over and over again as he kept thinking about it.

“is that how you see me?”

“hu-huh?” you hiccuped, picking your head up from his chest to look at him.

“as another sibling. is that how you see me?”

you blinked up at him, your eyes trailing over his furrowed eyebrows and worried gaze, and you hesitated for a moment, not knowing exactly why.

but you nodded, slowly. “you’re my best friend, yu. you’re not just anyone to me i care a lot about you. more than most people in my life.”

for a moment, yuta looked at you blankly, his mind unable to properly register your words. he didn’t know whether he wanted to cry, call up his brother and yell at him, kiss you, or run away.

a part of him knew that too, that you only saw him as a sibling. but like everything else in his life, he buried it down and chose to pretend like it didn’t exist for the sake of his heart.

but regardless of you not returning his feelings, he would rather be something to you than nothing at all. he would rather make some type of difference in your life and have a special spot, than be an absolute nobody to you.

so he smiled. he smiled with soft sad eyes and nodded, pulling you back in and resting his cheek against the top of your head. “you’re my best friend too.”

yuta didn’t see you around much at his house after that, which he understood.

but you still texted yuta everyday and hung out with him sometimes at school, and you still went to his games and practices and made him ham sandwiches after, and you still gave him that sweet smile he loved so so much.

but he never missed how sad you got around his brother, even at the mere mention of him. he never missed how your eyes stayed glued to the ground or had a far off look to them, your arms wrapped around yourself with a safe distance between you both.

when you graduated high school, yuta was a brat the entire ceremony. he was pissed. so pissed that you were two years older than him and that he wasn’t going to see your pretty self around school anymore, which was pretty much the only reason he tolerated it in the first place.

but when your graduating class threw their caps up into the air and his family went down to congratulate his brother, yuta made a beeline for you instead.

and behind that scowl on his face that he had the entire day, his eyes were glossy.

yuta never cried.

when you noticed, your shoulders instantly dropped and you ran to his open arms, practically throwing yourself on him. “yuuu! don’t cry for me!”

“who said i’m crying?” yuta grumbled into your shoulder.

you pulled back and smiled at him, “i’m gonna miss you the most.”

yuta smiled, but then faltered, and a sliver of fear shot up his spine. was this the last time he was going to see you? was this the start of you both slowly distancing, and then ultimately falling apart? were you still going to call him and text him everyday?

as if you could sense his fear, you quickly shook your head. “you’re literally stuck with me for life. you will never find another best friend to replace me, you got it?”

you waved your little index finger at him sternly, and yuta laughed. “i got it.”

yuta was nineteen when he almost kissed you.

after you graduated high school, luckily you went to a college that was only about a thirty minute drive from his place. you were still in yuta’s life, if not way more than it was before, which he thanked his lucky stars for. you went from being a best friend of his brothers, to being only his best friend, as you and his brother didn’t really talk anymore after high school.

and to that, yuta was happy.

and when he graduated high school, you of course were there, crying and pinching his cheeks and hugging him so tight his back cracked a little bit.

he didn’t go to the same college you did (although he definitely tried but didn’t get in) and went to one that was about forty five minutes away from home, one he commuted to everyday like you did for yours.

you both got so much closer that you obliviously acted like a couple, when you weren’t. yuta would pick you up from class and drive you to lunch, pay for all of your meals and anything you practically wanted despite you fighting him every time on it. he would kiss your forehead and your cheek and throw his arm around your shoulder when you walked, he would call you baby and compliment you every single day, and he would sleep over at your house almost all of the time, your head on his chest and his arm wrapped around your torso.

he knew best friends weren’t really supposed to act like this, but did you? you both had grown so accustomed to it that it wasn’t a weird thing for you both, but the constant questions from your mutual friends or even each others parents was a dead giveaway that it in fact, was not how best friends were supposed to act.

but neither of you seemed to care.

“stop moving yu!” you whispered harshly as you applied an aloe vera mud mask to his face. yuta snickered, dodging your fingers every time they came close to applying the mask, with the only reason he was doing it being because it made you laugh.

you were both sat on your fluffy pink rug in the middle of your room in your pajamas, surrounded by all of your skincare essentials and even the fancy products you only pulled out on special occasions. it was one in the morning at this point and you both were still up, trying to keep your laughter to a minimum in attempts at not waking up your parents downstairs.

“baby this stuff smells kind of funky,” he commented as you applied some to his cheek.

“the funkier the better,” you responded, focused. “kind of smells like you.”

he pinched your side and you giggled, flinching away. “i’m kidding! i’m almost done, don’t move.”

yuta listened and stayed still, watching your concentrated pretty face that was practically inches away from his as you applied the mask to the rest of his face, his poor heart almost giving out.

once you were done, you smiled triumphantly and wiped your fingers with a warm damp towel. “all done!”

yuta smiled fondly at you and kissed your cheek. “thanks. is this what you put on every night?”

you shook your head, “not every night, only when i want my skin to look extra good for special occasions.”

“which is..?”

“it’s usually when you invite me over to your family events or when we eat dinner at that one really nice place by your school.”

yuta stopped at that and he felt his heart clench at your words. he didn’t know why and he usually didn’t let it, but his mind was making him believe that maybe…

no.

he relaxed again, humming in acknowledgement. you picked up a circular pink little tub compartment thing and unscrewed the cap, dipping your ring finger in the shimmery product.

“what’s that?” he asked softly, nodding his head to it.

“it’s my lip scrub!” you responded enthusiastically, lifting your ring finger and scooting closer to him. his eyes looked straight at you as you slid your finger over his lips. “it has kind of like a rough texture, it’s supposed to exfoliate your lips and make them really soft.”

his cheeks slowly turned pink, his eyes trailing down to your lips as you sat back, finished.

“here— put some on me now so you can feel what i’m talking about,” you handed him the little tub and he dipped his index finger in, swallowing the lump in his throat.

he timidly lifted his hand and pressed his finger to your waiting perfect lips, softly and gently running the product on your bottom lip before going to the top, his eyes mesmerized and nearly drooling.

yuta was practically tracing you, wanting to burn forever the shape of your mouth into his brain to remember for the rest of his life, wanting nothing more than to press his lips on yours.

but he inhaled sharply and quickly dropped his hand. “i’m finished.”

you pressed your lips together and spread the product around, “did you feel it?”

he shakily nodded, wiping his finger on the warm damp towel before handing it over for you to do the same.

you held up a corner of the towel to his lips and gently wiped the scrub away, “and now they’re soft.”

you passed the towel back over to him, and you sat back, eagerly waiting for him to do the same.

yuta swallowed again and mimicked you, except he was much slower, much more gentle over your plush lips as he subconsciously leaned closer to you that by the time he was done, his nose almost bumped with yours.

with eyes half lidded, he stared at your lips in a daze, licking his bottom lip slightly as you looked at him with wide eyes. he wanted to, so badly, to just grab your face and press your lips together, to pour the love he’s had for you for the past four years out and cherish you with everything that he has.

“yu?” you spoke softly, your voice barely above a whisper, your breath fanning against his lips.

his eyes immediately snapped to yours and he flinched back like a deer in headlights. “so— so when do i take this off?” he pointed to his face. “the mud mask.. when does it come off?”

you looked at him curiously, your eyebrows slightly pinched together as you tried to make sense of what was happening, if anything even really happened.

“almost..” you responded, unfocused. “in about five minutes.”

yuta quickly nodded and pressed his lips into a thin line, his hands clenched so hard into tight fists that his knuckles turned white.

he couldn’t look you in the eye. what the fuck was he doing? he was going to scare you away if he kept doing things like this, if he kept almost slipping up and doing something that could jeopardize your friendship with him.

your trust.

you nudged his shoulder with your finger, and he finally looked at you.

“is the face mask bothering you that much?” you said with a silly smile, and yuta physically deflated, affection pumping through his system.

“no baby,” he shook his head. “i like it! i think i should keep it on for the rest of the night and go to class with it tomorrow morning.”

you snorted and shook your head, “don’t be mean.”

he raised his hands up frantically, “i’m not! you think everybody has the privilege of getting a free facial by their pretty best friend?” he held up his index finger and wiggled it side to side. “i don’t think so.”

you giggled, so much, and grabbed the warm damp towel again, scooting closer to him by your knees. you began wiping away the mask on his face, being careful of not going too rough in fear of accidentally irritating and hurting him. yuta held you by the hips, assisting in keeping your balance and rubbing little circles into your stomach with his thumbs.

your cheeks went a little pink after a bit.

as the rest of the night went on, and when you both finally settled into bed facing each other— his hand on the side of your hip, you softly traced the rather dark bags under his eyes and frowned.

“you need to get more sleep, yu. i think you’ve had these bags since you were fifteen.”

“it’s because i always grind so i can buy you a big white house with a wiener dog and a picket fence.”

you laughed a little too loud and slapped a hand over your mouth, leaning forward and resting your forehead against his as your shoulders shook. when you settled down, you removed your hand and smiled sweetly.

“only if the house comes with you.”

yuta’s breath hitched, and his eyes searched yours desperately, for any indication that maybe, just maybe, you…

no.

“what… you want me as a roommate?”

you playfully rolled your eyes and gently shoved his shoulder.

yuta was twenty years old when he confessed to you.

it was also the first big fight you guys ever had in your entire years of knowing each other.

your relationship stayed the same, two peas in a little pod through college that never seemed to go to one place without the other, so much so that when you did, people would often ask where the other half was. he loved it. he loved you so much, and he found it harder and harder and more heart breaking for him as the years went by watching you not be his in any way shape or form.

every time he visited your campus or went with you to your college parties, he noticed the lurking eyes it seemed like every guy had on you everywhere you went, and it agitated yuta more than anything else. he was still a stubborn brat, and instead of doing something about it and maybe telling you how he feels, he just endures the pain and scowls at their glances, leading you through crowds by the hand or by the small of your back.

he never really indulged in the traditional college experience like you did, and never ever talked to any other girl besides you. he never wanted to or had any interest in doing so, regardless of you returning his feelings or not. you also never really talked to any other guy besides yuta or made any mention of your dating life, people mostly assuming you both were.

yuta weaved through the crowd, trying to spot a place for the both of you to sit while you went to get drinks from the kitchen. upon finally breaking free from the pile of dancing sweaty bodies, he recognized one of your girl friends and a couple of others sitting on a long lounge sofa, her eyes perking up.

“y/n’s boyfriend! you came?”

he stopped a bit, then smiled wide.

“yeah! she’s in the kitchen now by the way, she’ll be over here in a second.”

and when you did come over, already a bit tipsy from the line of shots you got pulled into while getting drinks, you walked over to where yuta sat while greeting your friends, handing him a red solo cup. and instead of sitting in the spot yuta had saved for you right beside him, you settled neatly on his lap.

his eyes nearly bulged out of their eye sockets as you swung an arm around his shoulders for support and made yourself comfortable. you had never done something like this, and he swallowed the huge lump in his throat as trembling hands settled around your waist and over your lap. his arm tingled with the feeling of your thighs underneath, afraid to put his hands anywhere near them in fear of making you uncomfortable or accidentally grabbing your face and making out with you.

but the chance of that happening wasn’t anywhere near impossible, as he was already tipsy by his drink and his hand was already gently caressing over the skin of your soft plush thighs.

best friends don’t do things like this.

and he did not give a single fuck.

your boobs were practically shoved up in his face, his pinky cheeks absolutely blazing as his eyes darted to every corner of the house and anywhere else that wasn’t your tits, his lips itching to feel, to taste.

the night progressed and the both of you got increasingly more and more drunk, clinging on to each other on the couch or stumbling through the house, laughing when one of you would trip and almost face plant on the hardwood floors, leaning on to each other for support.

“your boyfriend almost knocked over the tub of tropical mix in the kitchen!” your girl friend yelled over the loud booming music, laughing.

yuta expected you to correct her, but you didn’t, and only laughed along with her.

“no it wasn’t him! it was me,” you giggled drunkenly, your arms around his neck as his were tight around your waist, your group standing off to the side of the dance floor. “he had to grab me and pull me from it!”

and that’s how it often was, just you and him. you taking care of him and him taking care of you in every way possible, trying to pay you back for all of the years you spent being there for him when he was younger and way more, simply because he wanted to.

and on a night where yuta was studying for finals in his room, his brother that was visiting from college came in and sat down on the edge of his bed.

“you studying?” he asked.

yuta nodded, not bothering to take his eyes away from his notebook, still scribbling down his notes. he never really had the best relationship with his brother, much less after what had happened with you getting rejected by him.

his brother took a deep breath through his nose and nodded. “i um… are you still friends with y/n?”

that caught his attention, and yuta’s eyes lifted from his notes to look at him. “yes? i’m with her like, most of the time. if you haven’t noticed.”

“no i have,” his brother murmured. “how is she?”

yuta took a second to respond. “she’s good.”

“that’s good that’s good. does she um- does she still have the same number?”

yuta put down his pencil and leaned back against his desk chair. “why?”

“i wanted to just catch up with her is all,” he shrugged. “i saw her when you brought her here for mom’s birthday and i hadn’t seen her since graduation.”

“catch up with her?” yuta mumbled. “since when do you give a shit about y/n?”

his brother scoffed. “i always have, yuta.”

“didn’t seem like it when you rejected her and started dating one of her close friends like the next day.”

his brother didn’t say anything, and yuta rolled his eyes at the lack of response, picking his pencil back up to continue his work.

“i still have her on social media and see what she’s up to… she posts you a lot. are you guys like— a thing?”

yuta bit the inside of his cheek. “no.”

his brother visibly relaxed for whatever reason and nodded. “i just want to talk to her again, is all. maybe buy her dinner—”

yuta pushed his textbook away, dropped his pencil again and spun around, looking at him with narrowed eyes. “fuck no.”

his brother scoffed. “i’m not asking for permission—”

“fuck no.”

“yuta i’m your brother i literally took you to school everyday and took care of you—”

“y/n did that.” yuta cut him off. “y/n gave me rides to school when i didn’t have my license and bought me food when i didn’t have a job. she also came to every single one of my games regardless of the weather and helped me with my homework when i was too stupid to figure it out on my own, everything you should’ve done.”

“that’s not true—”

“yes it is.” yuta crossed his arms in annoyance. “she didn’t have to do any of that. she never had to take care of me the way that she did but she did it anyways. she took on your role because you were too busy being a dingus doing god knows what and she knew that. y/n has done more for me than you’ve ever done in your entire twenty two years of living.”

his brother sat there in silence, yuta’s heavy angry breathing being the only thing heard in the room.

“okay well—” his brother stood from his bed and walked over to the door. “i’m just going to text her—”

“why the fuck are you gonna meddle into her life now? what… are you bored? are you not satisfied with whatever fucking girl you find up there at school?” yuta threw his arms up in irritation, his blood beginning to boil. “you treated her like shit. like absolute dog shit when you ignored her and avoided her for months after she confessed to you. do you understand how disrespectful that is?”

“whatever man it was high school—”

“and what, that gives you a pass to treat her like that? when that happened i was sixteen picking up the pieces you shit all over at your grown age—”

“i’m leaving.”

and with that, his brother walked out and slammed the door shut, and yuta was left absolutely red. red with anger he had never felt before in his life as he grabbed his notebook and chucked it across the room. he hated how casual he spoke of you, like you were just another girl he was going to try and get to know and fuck— to then leave without another word like his brother’s been doing his whole fucking life to girls. but not to you, it couldn’t happen to you.

and it was like yuta was going through the five stages of grief because then he was afraid. what if you let his brother back into your life? what if you fell for him again? you’d done it before the chances were not zero of you doing it again.

yuta didn’t want to lose you. he would rather gauge his eyes out and eat them for breakfast.

with that, yuta stumbled through his room putting on his shoes and snatching his car keys from his night stand, running down the hall and slamming the front door shut before getting in his car.

the drive was only about fifteen minutes to your house, and he felt so bad that it was nearly two in the morning and he was most likely going to wake you up, but he couldn’t stand it. he was going absolutely crazy, everything in him gnawing and eating him alive, his brother having pushed every single button in his body and more.

his tires screeched as he pulled into your driveway, thankful that your parents were away on a getaway trip as he slammed his car door shut and made his way up to your front door. yuta rang your doorbell twice before you finally opened it.

slowly, you peeked your tired eye through the slit, and your body immediately relaxed at the sight of him. “oh my god yuta, you scared the absolute shit out of—”

you stopped, your face falling at his livid expression and the way his chest heaved erratically. “yu? are you okay? what’s going on—”

but yuta only pushed passed you and trudged up your stairs without another word. dumbstruck, you closed your front door with a click and locked it, following him up the stairs and into your room.

“what’s wrong?”

“my brother is visiting from college.” he mumbled, sitting stiff on your desk chair. you moved to stand in front of him.

“…you mentioned that yeah—”

“and he… he told me that he wants to reach out to you.”

your eyebrows furrowed, taken aback. “me? for what?”

“he says he wants to catch up with you, see how you’re doing. be friends again i guess.”

yuta’s eyes remained stuck to the floor like glue, and you remained silent as you processed his words, confused out of your mind.

“i mean… i mean i guess? i guess that’s fine—”

his head snapped up, “that’s fine?”

you shrugged, “yes? i don’t see the big deal i don’t—”

“baby—” he shook his head in disbelief. “he absolutely broke you and treated you like nothing in high school, and you’re fine letting him back into your life? great.”

you narrowed your eyes at him. “why are you being like that? he just wants to be friends again and that’s fine with me—”

yuta scoffed. “he doesn’t deserve it! he doesn’t deserve you—”

“yuta, whatever happened between your brother and i was years ago! i’m over it! this isn’t a big fucking deal!”

you hated fighting with him, god how much you hated it, and the way that he looked at you now was making you absolutely sick.

“so you’re just gonna be friends with him again?” he shrugged, looking at you with narrowed eyes.

“yeah?”

“you’re fucking stupid,” he spat, getting up from your desk chair and walking over to the door, reaching for your doorknob.

you instantly grabbed his shoulder and spun him around to face you. “what the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“what’s wrong with me?!” he raised his voice, jabbing a finger to his chest. “what’s wrong with you! do you not remember how bad you got when he did what he did?! do you really think i would stand here okay with you rekindling your little love for my brother?”

you scoffed, “my little love?!”

and before you knew it, angry tears were streaming down your face. you hated the way he was talking to you, and you didn’t know how your argument escalated so quickly and so drastically as you wiped your cheeks furiously.

and at the sight of you crying, yuta faltered slightly, his eyes softening.

“why do you think i still love him? i don’t! i haven’t since he rejected me!—”

“who says you won’t start again?” he spoke lowly, arms crossed over his chest. “my brother never had to lift a fucking finger for you to be head over heels for him. you don’t give a shit about yourself and you’re willing to throw yourself at him again—”

“shut up.” you spat, sobs raking through your body. “the fact that you’re stuffing a bunch of fucking words into my mouth and assuming i’m going to jump into your brothers arms is bullshit.”

“i—”

“is this how low you think of me?”

“no baby i don’t—”

“yes you clearly do because everything that’s come out of your mouth—”

“no! no i’m sorry i don’t—”

“then why—”

yuta shoved his hands into his hair exasperated, “because i love you!”

he let his arms fall limp, his eyes glossy and red with the most gut wrenching look on his face that read pure exhaustion. you had never seen him so torn.

“i love you and i love you and i have since since i was fifteen,” his voice shook with each word, hands trembling at his sides. “more than a best friend, more than anything in this world, and i never saw you like another sibling like you did for me.”

“fi.. fifteen?” you spoke so softly he almost didn’t hear you.

he nodded sadly, silent tears slipping down his cheeks and you automatically reached up, softly wiping them away with your thumbs as he closed his eyes, much like how yuta did when you got your heart broken by his brother on that rainy day.

yuta never cried.

“i swallowed it. you loved my brother and i swallowed it. i didn’t give a shit if you only saw me as a sibling because i would rather make some type of mark in your life and be in it than not have you at all. but i can’t take it anymore.”

he let out a sob, and he instantly shoved his face in the crook of his arm in embarrassment.

“yu…”

“you mean absolutely everything to me baby,” his voice was muffled a bit by his elbow, and after roughly wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his sweater, he dropped his arm to look at you again. “i would do absolutely a-anything for you. you’re precious to me and the prettiest girl i have ever laid my eyes on and will ever lay my eyes on.”

he hiccuped and crossed his arms over his chest, staring up at your ceiling. “but i know you don’t love me like i love you. i’ve known for years and i just can’t bring myself to let you go. it’s so bad that i would rather you break my heart over and over again than let you go for the sake of my wellbeing and watch you walk out of my life—”

“yuta, can you please look at me?”

“i— i can’t,” he shook his head as his voice trembled, tears slipping from the sides of his eyes as he continued to stare at your ceiling. “i can’t do it—”

you slowly reached out and cupped his wet cheeks in the palm of your hands, tilting his face down gently to look at you, your eyes filled with remorse at the defeated look on his face.

“why didn’t you tell me?” you asked softly. “why didn’t you tell you were hurting so much?”

he shook his head slowly in your hands. “it’s not fair to you. i didn’t want to put you in a difficult position—”

“what difficult position, yu?” you spoke so gently, so sweetly to him that he almost fell to his knees. “how could you have kept this in for five years? i can’t even imagine—” you hiccuped, “i hate that you were hurting because of me-“

your voice began to contort again into sobs, and he quickly shook his head. “no baby no, it was not because of you, you did nothing wrong. you did the exact opposite.”

you wiped more of his tears with your fingers as he spoke, listening intently.

“no one gave a shit about me the way you did. not even my own parents, and not even my stupid brother that pretended like i practically didn’t exist. you were the only one that was there and you didn’t have to be. you could’ve easily ditched me at any given point and you never did, and i can’t thank you enough for giving me a reason to keep going.”

he wiped his eyes. “and that’s why i fell in love with you so hard because you were so selfless and sweet and i love your smile. i don’t think i could ever make up for everything you’ve done—”

“but you have!—” you interjected, but yuta only shook his head.

“no i haven’t. i’m a stubborn asshole who just said a bunch of shit five minutes ago that i didn’t mean and i only hurt you and i never wanted that—”

“yuta.” you spoke firmly. “you’ve literally done more for me than anyone else in my entire life and i hate that you can’t see that or give yourself credit. you were there for me when i went absolutely insane after your brother rejected me even though you loved me then. you put your own feelings aside to take care of me baby..”

you softly took his hands and led him to sit with you on the bed, wiping his wet cheeks with your sleeve.

“do you not remember when even though you didn’t have a job, any chance you got money you would spend it on me instead of yourself?” you laughed softly. “the minute you got your license you drove me anywhere i wanted… and even to little things like the store because you said you didn’t want me to spend gas money.”

yuta slightly smiled.

“you never ditched me either, when there was every opportunity you could’ve. you always make sure i eat and get enough sleep… and you make me so happy yu, i wish you could see how much i miss you when you’re not around.”

he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and leaned in, softly planting a kiss to your cheek. you smiled warmly.

“who told you i didn’t love you back?”

yuta froze. “you did?”

“when?”

“the day my brother rejected you?” he cocked his head to the side. “i had asked you if you saw me as another sibling and you said yes.”

you threw your head back and moaned, “oh my god yu, of course in that moment because i was stupid and into your brother and i had just gotten rejected!”

you deflated and smiled at him warmly then, your eyes shining with emotions he didn’t allow himself to believe were there. for five years, yuta forced himself to believe you could never return his feelings as a form of protection, and now there was a huge wall in his brain that was itching to come down.

you scooted closer to him and wrapped your arms around his neck, your foreheads touching. “ask me again.”

“hm?” he was dazed, wide eyes staring into yours.

“ask me that question again,” you spoke softly. “the one from that day.”

yuta swallowed thickly, his breathing shaky through his nose, reiterating the phrase he played through his head like a broken record since it happened.

“as another sibling…” he murmured. “is that how you see me?”

you shook your head gently against his forehead, “no… to me—” you leaned back slightly and tilted your head to the side. “you look like the man i’ve been in love with for the past three years.”

silence. nothing.

and then, his eyes welled with tears as he tackled you down and just cried. he cried and he cried into your neck and shook like a little leaf, you holding him so unbelievably tight as your bottom lip wobbled. yuta’s arms were snaked around you as he held you with just as much force if not more.

half a decade. half a decade yuta spent hopelessly lovesick for you that your words burned over his entire body like a fever, his mind reeling and hazy. he held on to you so fucking tight and refused to let go of you, in fear that this was all just some horrendous sick dream and he was going to wake up alone in his bed without you.

you placed a hand on the back of his head as you hugged him, “i love you so much yuta that sometimes i feel like im going nuts.” you laughed softly. “it was always you… it’s been you that’s why i said earlier that i didn’t care if your brother wanted to be friends again, because i love you and i don’t give a shit about him and i’m sorry i made you upset—”

“no,” he lifted his head from the crook of your neck and looked at you, his cheeks flushed with dried up tears and red eyes. “that was just me being an absolute dick and scared of re-living high school all over again. i took that out on you and that wasn’t fair at all, baby. i’m sorry.”

you carded your fingers through his hair. “we both have things to be sorry about, and a lot of years to make up for.”

and finally, yuta grinned so big that his cheeks hurt.

“can i—“ he exhaled shakily. “can i kiss you?”

“please.”

and he smashed his lips against yours, greedily kissing you with so much desperation as he lip locked with you, his hands squeezing and roaming your body. the sound of your lips smacking was loud, and his kisses were so needy and sloppy against your soft plush lips that you squeaked at the intensity. you felt him grin again at your noise and he pulled away from you.

“i’ve wanted this for so long…” he breathed out, his breath fanning against your face as you tried to recover from what was probably the best kiss of your life. you nodded frantically, too dazed and caught up in the thought of his mouth on yours to respond with sentences that made sense.

he chuckled cutely at this, and he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “i love you and i love you.”

and since then, it was like the final wall had finally crumbled down, and yuta began to live like he was supposed to, like he was meant to, with you. his days of yearning and silent torment were over, and most of the time it still felt like a dream whenever he was by your side.

things stayed relatively the same between you two, as you now acknowledge how much of a couple you both actually were acting prior to yuta’s confession. the only major difference now though, was that yuta earned the privilege to call you his and give you sweet kisses as he picked you up from class, or when you make and hand him those ham sandwiches you always do just for him, only this time adorned with a honeyed kiss of your own.

sitting on his living room couch now, your head resting on his lap as a random horror movie played in the background, yuta’s fingers gently brushed over the features of your face as you stared at the tv, his eyes stuck to you like sticky lovesick glue.

you turned your head to look at him after a bit. “why don’t you start playing soccer again?” you hummed. “is there a team at your school?”

yuta nodded, “there is baby.”

“why don’t you try out?” you smiled sweetly at him, and his heart ached. “i always loved watching you play. i miss it.”

“okay,” he tapped your nose. “just for you.”

you rolled your eyes playfully. “and i’ll start dragging your brother with me again.”

yuta’s eyes flung open as his jaw dropped, and you snorted, giggling uncontrollably as he tickled and pinched at your sides. “i’m just kidding! i’m kidding! i’d rather die.”

he let out a boyish laugh, his eyes sparkling as he looked down at you. “as much as i hate him, i can’t thank him enough for being a stupid dingus.”

you quirked an eyebrow, “thank him? why?”

yuta gently and softly pinched one of your cheeks as he smiled at you, and it was then that you noticed the bags under his eyes were nearly gone. he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips, moving some of your hair away from your face after he did so.

“because he brought you to me.”

and you smiled, that same radiant sweet smile that made him fall in love with you in the first place, as you reached up and ran a tender finger under where his eye bags once stood, your voice light and airy as you spoke—

“i love you and i love you, yuta.”