A Touya-dabi Timeline In Aesthetics Of A Failed Romance

𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐓’𝐒 𝟎.𝟓𝐊 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓

@yuutakuns | okkotsu yuuta x reader

thank you so much for your request lovely, your kind words mean so much to me <3. kissing you very gently on the forehead 😽 also this is more than 300 so sorry i got carried away 😭😭

song inspo: love is only a feeling | joey bada$$

cw: cunnilingus, spit, overall softer than intended, male masturbation, a couple of thigh slaps

your skin bristles at the sound of your front door slamming, heart beating with anticipation as your lover stomps through your shared space. cabinets slam and curses leave his lips as he makes his way into the kitchen. heat begins pooling in your stomach at his frustrations, mind numbing at the thought of him taking all his pent up frustration on you instead. “yuu?”, you call softly, rounding the corner to join him in the kitchen. your eyes take in the back of him, his hands pressed onto the counter as his head hangs low.

“yuuta?” you call out again, “is everything okay?” he sighs heavily before turning to face you, weary eyes meeting your own. his tense body relaxes as you move behind him, arms wrapping around his waist. he grasps your hands firmly in his, pressing soft kisses into your skin. “it is now,” he says, smile on his face as he glances back at you. your face mirrors his own, pressing a chaste kiss in between his shoulders. “long day?” you ask, fingers slipping through his larger ones. he hums in acknowledgement, pressing more kisses to your hands before turning to face you. “so long,” he sighs, “was thinking about you all day, sweetheart. just wanted this.” 

your grin spreads at his words, standing up on your toes to press a kiss to his lips. he sighs in content, hands wrapping around your waist to pull you flush against him. his tongue swipes against your bottom lip, groaning into your mouth when you allow his entrance. the hands on your waist tighten, pushing you back until you’re flush against the island behind you. “gonna let me use you?” he asks breathlessly, “pretty pussy always makes me feel so much better.” you whimper at his words, pulling him in for a salacious kiss. his hands move under your thighs, placing you on the space behind you before slotting himself between your spread legs. his hands slide up your body, pushing up his stolen shirt in his wake. “this what you were thinking about all day?” you ask with a teasing grin. his eyes search yours, pressing another kiss to your lips. “yeah,” he answers shamelessly, lips moving to mouth over your neck. you let out a moan at the feeling of him leaving his mark down you, breath catching in your throat when his hands squeeze your chest thumbs flicking over your pert nipples. 

“wanted you all day, sweetheart,” he whispers in your ear, “the only one who can make me feel better.” you keen at his words, hips grinding into him. he swats your thigh, rubbing his hands over the mark to shush your outcry. “patience, baby. be good,” he says. he moves away from you then, pulling your hips closer to the edge of the counter. heart racing in anticipation as his mouth travels up you thigh, fingers pulling down your underwear before spreading you wider for him. “fuck,” he groans, “so pretty, so wet. this all for me?” you nod frantically before yelping at the sting in your thigh. “words, sweetheart. don’t play games, not today.” your eyes gloss over in lust at the sight of him on his knees for you, hands fisting his cock slowly as he looks up at you. “‘s for you, yuuta. all for you.” he hums in approval, mouth moving to press a kiss to your leaking slit. “be a good girl for me and cum on my tonge, kay?” he says before running his tongue through your folds. “yes!” you cry out, “yes, yuuta. please.” the sound of his tongue running through you along with his hand fisting his own cock fills the room, overpowered by your cries of pleasure. he moans into your cunt, sucking your clit into his mouth. 

“fuck, yuuta. don’t stop. ‘m gonna cum.” his tongue runs flat over your clit at your words, moving his head side to side, hand moving faster on his leaking cock. he unlatches from you, spitting onto your already drooling cunt before thrusting his tongue as deep as he can. “cumming! y-yuuta, ‘m cumming,” you moan, hands gripping his hair to pull him closer to you. “cum for me,” he moans into your slit, his hips bucking up into his own hand as pleasure washes over him. both of your sounds fill the small kitchen as you cum on his face, his hand slowing on his cock, bringing you both down from your highs. you breathe heavily as he stands up again, pressing his lips to yours. “are you good now?” you ask breathlessly. “let me cum in my pretty pussy and i’ll be better than just ‘good’,” he says with a grin. 

translation

Aventurine doesn't like being understood, but he does like understanding other people. It is essential for manipulation, for scheming, for control. And he likes controlling you especially—for keeping you close but your heart a comfortable distance away, for opening your legs when he wants the pleasure of your body, for playing your emotions however he needs. And the day will come when that skill will be invaluable—the day when he must die without shattering you. (Or: You are the only person in the universe who understands Aventurine in his mother tongue. He often regrets teaching it to you.)

5k words. gender neutral reader, established relationship, angst, non-graphic sex (reader bottoms, anatomy neutral), themes of cultural loss, references to slavery, aventurine’s canonically implied desire to die. MDNI.

Aventurine cannot lie in Avgin.

Deception does not come easily to him in his mother tongue. His command of it is too weak—and too kind. The universe was a different place in the days when his life was coloured by the warble of Avgin dialect. It felt simpler, partly because he was a child and partly because Sigonia was yet untouched by outsiders. There were no corporations, no casinos, no commodity codes. His entire world was sand, desert, mother, sister, father (or more often—ghost), goddess, tent, wagon, luck, sin, rain, blessing, Avgin.

Katican.

Aventurine is sure that he knew more than just those words. He was fluent as a child. He had conversations with his sister that were complex enough to make his heart hurt, though perhaps his heart was just constantly aching anyway. But the rest of his early words escapes him. He could maybe dredge them up if he thinks long enough, but he also isn't sure if his tongue and lips could form the shape of them anymore. Sometimes he still counts in Avgin, memorises phone numbers in it, but he doesn’t remember the last time he actually strung together a full sentence in the language.

When Aventurine was first stolen into slavery (a word that he had not known as a child, and still doesn't know in Avgin), he wasn’t given a Synesthesia Beacon. He had to rely on his ears and his wits, deciphering the harsh edges of the Katican dialect and then the strange garble of Interastral Standard Language. By the time he had a Beacon installed, it was already translating all speech into Standard—his dominant language.

Sometimes he feels a little aggrieved by it, but at least it wasn't Katican. He'd have blown out his brains if it were.

But it is easy to console himself: Avgin is not a useful language anyway. Dead languages have no value, and the Avgin dialect was killed along with its people. You can’t perform commerce in a dead language, can't negotiate contracts, can't enter a gambling den and use your silver tongue to rob people blind. You can't use a dead language to fell governments and extract resources; you can't use a dead language to bring an entire planet to its knees. You can’t use a dead language to gamble your life; you can't use it to save yourself from the gallows.

You cannot deceive people in a language that is defined by sand, sister, goddess, ghost.

Aventurine cannot lie in Avgin. His command of it is too weak, and there is no one left to which he can lie, anyway.

When you ask Aventurine to teach you his first language, he gives you an amused look.

“Why Avgin?” he asks. “No one speaks it anymore. I can teach you Common Sigonian if you’d like. Or we could learn Xianzhounese together. Maybe Intellitron code? I know a little.”

“You speak Avgin,” you argue.

“Not often,” he says. “And badly when I do.”

“But it's still your language. And I want to understand you.”

Aventurine has to stop himself from laughing. Understand him? He hates being understood. When people understand him, it makes him predictable. And unlikeable. Hardly a position from which he can manipulate people in.

You understand him well enough to know that.

“You'll have to give me a better reason than that,” he says neatly. “Make it worth my while. Reward me.”

You look at him as you ponder, your eyes lingering on his. Perhaps trying to read him, though he prefers to think you're just enjoying the sight of them.

“I’ll teach you my language as well?”

“You mean—you'll reward my hard labour with more work?” he says, lighthearted.

You frown at him despite the joke. “You don't want to understand me better than what a Synesthesia Beacon would allow?” He blinks, pausing. “It’ll be convenient too. We can talk shit about other people in public and no one will understand us.”

Aventurine considers you. He doesn't like being understood, but he does like understanding other people. It is essential for manipulation, for scheming, for control. And he likes controlling you especially—for keeping you close but your heart a comfortable distance away, for opening your legs when he wants the pleasure of your body, for playing your emotions however he needs. And the day will come when that skill will be invaluable—the day when he must die without shattering you.

He also likes the idea of talking shit in public.

“I'm listening,” he says, voice lilting. You lean in, smiling. Sweet. It makes his heart feel something he isn't used to. Something addictive. Something disgusting. He scrambles to cover it with one of the usual tools: humour or distraction or maybe just plain old lying—his most reliable weapon.

“I'll throw in a kiss?” you try.

He hums. “Just one?”

“One per day.”

“Three.”

“You drive a hard bargain.”

“Well, I am a businessman.”

You snort, but he knows you're endeared. You have very noticeable tells when you’re flustered.

“Okay,” you say. “Three kisses on days you teach me.”

“Deal.”

Aventurine remembers more Avgin than he thought he would.

It comes to him slowly, painstakingly. You aren't interested in structured lessons, and he wouldn't be able to provide them anyway. He has a nonexistent grasp of grammar aside from this sounds right and that sounds strange, and Avgin dialect is both so niche and so dead that no textbooks are available. The scholars have abandoned the language as much as the politicians abandoned its people. Aventurine only has you, his fragmented memory, and whatever questions come to mind as you live out your days with him.

Mostly, you ask him about basic vocabulary. Sometimes you ask him to repeat sentences from your conversations in Avgin, like he’s some kind of multilingual parrot. Each prompt forces him to wade through the fog in his mind, the one that’s been shrouding his childhood memories until now. He's startled at how naturally the old words roll off his tongue: One, two, three, four. Good morning. Good evening. Good night. Sweet dreams. Five, six, seven, eight. You're lying to me. Why do you always lie to me? I don't know what you're talking about. Nine, ten, eleven, twelve. Welcome home. Have you eaten? Have some bread. I made you stew. Twenty, thirty, forty, fifty. That was dangerous. I thought you wouldn't make it back to me. Sometimes I think you want to die. One hundred, one thousand, one million, one billion. I'm sorry. Come here. Let me kiss you. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

When you say, How do I ask you to let me hold you, he answers easily. He'd heard the words so often as a child: Let me hold you, Kakavasha. Let Mama hold you. His mouth forms the sounds without conscious thought.

He regrets it almost immediately.

When Aventurine hears it from you—stilted, halting, but no less gentle—he stops breathing. Let me hold you. You say it all the time in Standard, but it feels different in Avgin. More painful. A strange sense of panic closes in on him when he's wrapped up in you, thinking in Avgin, thinking sand, sister, goddess, ghost. He holds you tightly, like the rags cut from his father’s shirt, or his mother’s locket won back from the shell-slashers, or a bag of poker chips beneath a card table, clutched within his trembling grip.

“Aventurine, is something wrong?” you ask in Avgin, and he replies in Standard with his usual smile.

“Hm? No. What could be wrong if I have you here?”

Lying is one of his greatest tools. Sex is another one. So he says, “I think I'd like my reward now,” and he runs his lips along your jaw, your pulse, the spot over your heart (there's a word for that in Avgin but not Standard, he tells you), until you're laughing. I thought you wanted three kisses, you tease, and he replies, Who said I wanted to kiss you on the mouth?

But he coaxes open your thighs, and once he's inside you, he collects his payment properly. He kisses you, and kisses you, and kisses you—and you swallow his lies whole.

There are some things that Aventurine doesn't teach you. Mostly, they’re things that he can’t teach you.

There are countless gaps in his Avgin. His speech is painfully childish—probably more childish than it was when he actually stopped speaking it. He doesn't know how to swear (something that disappoints you) and he doesn't know how to flirt (something that devastates you). He doesn’t know any words that would be useful for work either: commercialization, governance, stakes, winnings, profit. When you ask him what his job title is in Avgin (“Was senior management even a thing in Avgin society?”), he laughs and gives you the word for gambler.

Then there are the words that he remembers—has remembered his whole life—but never says. Not to you, and not to himself. He doesn't teach you any prayers. He doesn't teach you any blessings. He doesn't teach you about Mama Fenge, or the Kakava Festival, or how the rain fell when he was born. When you ask him, What holidays did you celebrate when you were little? he shrugs and says, We didn't have any. Sigonia’s too bleak to do any partying.

Then you ask him one day, while your bodies are spent in the afterglow of sex, sticky with sweat and sweetness, how to say I love you. And he goes quiet.

Love is a cheap word in Interastral Standard. In the language of globalisation and trade, love has been commercialised, commodified, capitalised for power. You say it to him in many contexts: I love this, I love that, I love you. He hardly ever reacts, and he's never said it back. It would feel unnecessary and also cruel if he did: Aventurine has only ever said the words himself as either a joke or a manipulation.

But love feels different in Avgin than in Interastral Standard, doesn't sound like a thing that can be traded or bought. Kakavasha only ever said the word love to his mother, to his sister, to his father's grave. Love in his mother tongue feels priceless.

When Aventurine thinks about you saying it—I love you, Kakavasha, in clumsy, earnest Avgin—something so painful swells in his throat that he can hardly breathe.

“There is no word for love in my language,” he tells you.

You blink. “Okay, then what's an idiom for it?”

“There is none. There’s no word or phrase expressing love.”

You raise a brow. “That’s hard to believe.”

“Is it?” He smiles. “There’s no Avgin in the known universe who cares about love. Only scheming, thieving, and treachery—and you can't do those things when love is involved.”

You look at him in alarm. “Why are you saying that?” You're practically squirming in your discomfort. “I don't know why you think I'd believe such a racist stereotype.”

“It’s not a stereotype,” he says. “I'm not talking about the Avgin culture. I'm talking about myself.”

After all, he is the only Avgin left.

It is an unfair thing to say. A cruel thing to say. After all the laughing and kissing and crying and fucking, after all the tender eyes and gentle words from you—it is probably the worst pain imaginable: I don't give a shit about you. He waits for you to cry.

But you only stare at him calmly, studying him. You brush the hair out of his eyes, seeing them clearly.

“If you lie to me all the time,” you say in Avgin, “eventually I'll stop believing anything you say.”

Aventurine is speechless. His heart does that addictive, disgusting thing again. He thinks about leaving, but then you say, Let me hold you, and he can't do anything other than obey.

Avgin dialect was once included in the Synesthesia Beacon list of functions. The Intelligentsia Guild added it before the Second Katica-Avgin Extinction Event, when the IPC was trying to get a political foothold on Sigonia via the Avgin people. The language was alive then, with enough value to be included into the Synesthesia LLM by the linguists.

But since the Extinction Event—since Kakavasha ran away from home—the Synesthesia data on Avgin has been stagnant, a fossil. Aventurine knows because he's subscribed to software updates for certain languages (Avgin Sigonian, Common Sigonian, Interastral Standard, and now your mother tongue). He gets pinged every time there's a new addition for slang, for neologisms—but there hasn't been a ping for the Avgin dialect since he had the Beacon installed. The live translation function hasn't even been available since the previous Amber Era. When he checks its page on his Synesthesia app, it's very clear why—

SIGONIAN, AVGIN DIALECT SPEAKERS: 0 STATUS: Extinct END OF SERVICE: 2156 AE

The complete death of the language has led to an irritating dilemma for you and Aventurine. You keep running into words that he doesn't know—this time not because of his childlike speech, but because they never existed in his language to begin with. Ocean, tropical, rainforest. Starskiff, accelerator, space fleet. Stock market, shortselling, mutual funds. Black hole, event horizon, spaghettification. All things that never came up for Kakavasha, but now come up for Aventurine, and the language has not evolved to include it.

He always wants to switch to Standard to discuss these things, but you're insistent on speaking in Avgin as much as possible. He doesn't know why, but he doesn't mind humouring you—partly because he likes to indulge you, and partly because he’s grown used to hearing the honeyed timbre of Avgin dialect in your household. The place would feel strange without it.

So you start filling the gaps with other languages, filtering them through the lyricism of Avgin. Loanwords, he thinks they’re called. You take ocean, tropical, rainforest from Amazian; starskiff, accelerator, space fleet from Xianzhounese; stock market, shortselling, mutual funds from Interastral Standard. For the astrophysics terms, you try directly translating them—with limited success.

“Can't I literally just say ‘black hole’?” you ask in Avgin, and he nearly spits out his coffee.

“Please don't. That's a dirty word.” He can't bring himself to say what it means, but from the way you’re laughing, you can clearly guess.

“I thought you said you didn't know how to swear.”

“You've just reminded me how.”

“You're welcome.” You look on the verge of cackling. Aventurine finishes his coffee and wonders when you're going to surprise him with your newfound vulgarity.

“Let's just do the space terms based on Standard,” he says. Begs.

“No, that's so boring.”

“Then let's do your language.”

You open your mouth. Close it. Give him a blank look.

“You don't know how to say those words in your mother tongue either, do you,” he intuits.

“Well, ‘spaghettification’ doesn't really come up in everyday conversation, does it?”

“Then maybe we don't need it.” He smiles, senses an opportunity. Smells blood. “How about ‘love’? I'd much rather know how you say that. I bet it sounds beautiful.”

You give him a long look. Your eyes are vulnerable when you share it: Love. I love you. He’s fascinated by the sound of it. Your voice is never that fragile when you say it in Standard. It's never so earnest. He repeats it, staring at you, and your gaze falls to the ground. His mouth curls.

“I like it,” he says. “Let's use that. It'll sound nice in Avgin.”

You try to recover. “Sure. That works. But back to ‘black hole’—”

And the two of you continue like that for days, weeks, months. It feels like a complete bastardization of his mother tongue on some days, in some conversations. Almost unrecognisable. But it doesn't feel bad. It’s all he has, it's all you have, and when he walks into your home, he starts speaking it without thinking: your bastard, patchwork language. The Avgin dialect that exists only in your house. A tongue that can only be understood by a liar.

And then, one lazy Sunday morning, he gets a familiar ping. He expects it to be Interastral Standard, as usual. The language balloons with each planet that the IPC colonises.

But instead, he opens his screen and freezes.

SIGONIAN, AVGIN DIALECT SPEAKERS: 2 STATUS: Endangered. SERVICE RESUMED: 2157 AE NEW UPDATES: 103 loanwords and 5 neologisms added.

He can't stop looking at the status. Endangered. Endangered, which means dying, but alive. The Avgin dialect is alive again. The Intelligentsia Guild determined it, so it must be true. But Aventurine can't agree: there are no Avgin speakers in the known universe other than the two of you, and what you speak isn't real Avgin. The Avgin spoken by his mother and father and sister is dead; the Avgin spoken by Kakavasha is dead. The festivals are gone; the deserts have been terraformed. There are no wagons; there are no dances; there are no prayers. There are no blessings, and he has no home—

As long as you are alive, the blood of the Avgin will never run dry.

His throat locks up.

“Aventurine?” you ask. Your voice is drowsy, but concerned. “Is something wrong?”

He looks at you from his phone, a polished smile on his face.

“No.” His syllables are plain and efficient in the noise of Interastral Standard: “Just looking at details for a new assignment. It’ll be a long one.”

“Oh.” You frown. “Will you be away from home for a long time, then?”

He stops himself from swallowing. “Yes, I'll be away from the house. For several months, probably.”

“Okay.” Your voice is small. “Take care of yourself, okay? I'll miss you.”

Each word you speak resonates with heartbreak. It always does in these conversations, even in Standard—but the sorrow is amplified in Avgin. His mother tongue has an inherently sad quality to it, he's noticed. His people have lost so much over their history—their language is one of loss. It's his language of loss. Kakavasha did all his grieving in Avgin; Aventurine has never felt sorrow in Standard. When the language died, so did Kakavasha—and all his regrets with it.

“You'll come home to me, right?” you ask. It's a beautiful sentence in Avgin. A heartrending one. He feels something that he hasn't known since he was a child.

It's a feeling he has to kill.

“Yes,” he says in Standard. “Of course I'll come back.”

This is not the first time that Aventurine has been mistaken for dead, but this is the longest time.

The latest world to join the IPC network was a tough acquisition. It had been ruled by a despot who wreaked havoc on both the people and the planet, and who was too stupid and reckless to resolve conflicts with his trade partners. He probably would have blown up the whole star system had he been left to his own devices. Aventurine had no qualms about bringing him to ruin, nor did he have qualms about nearly dying in the process.

If things had gone his way, he'd either be dead or missing. This would have been the perfect opportunity to do the latter, actually—to be freed from the IPC. Free to drift alone, speaking with strangers in strange, unfamiliar tongues. No connection to his past, to the cruel history of his luck, to his commodity code. No tether to his inherently unjust destiny. But instead he's back in your house, pockets heavy with his borrowed wealth, speaking to you in his bastardised, childish Avgin. I'm sorry. Come here. Let me kiss you. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

Your Avgin is—shockingly fluent. He doesn't know how. He can't think about it right now. All he can process is the wounded animal noise of your speech as you yell at him, as you cry. Like an injured songbird, or a weeping child. Why did you leave, why did you lie, why do you always lie to me, why don't you give a shit about me, you spit. Why do you want to die, why do you want to die, why do you want to die, you keep saying. Sand, sister, goddess, ghost, he keeps hearing. Sand, sister, goddess, ghost. Don't leave me, big sister. People will die. Why do you have to go?

“I’m sorry,” he tries again, this time in your language. “I'm so sorry. Come here. Let me hold you.”

You collapse into your mother tongue. Aventurine is both relieved and horrified. Relieved that he doesn't need to hear the language of his grief—horrified that he needs to hear yours. He's never heard you cry like this. He's never heard you break like this. These must have been the words you used when the soldiers found you hiding in your closet, when they dragged you out of your home. You were just a child.

Aventurine doesn't know the words you are using—you've never taught them—but he still understands them.

You're very malleable when you’re sad; even more so when you're hysterical. Aventurine understands this about you, and he understands how to calm you—this time in your native tongue—and he understands how to kiss you. He understands that you need to feel close to him. He understands that there are ways to accomplish this other than sex. A normal person would talk it out, have an honest conversation, come to a mutual understanding, and maybe even stop trying to kill himself. They wouldn't fuck you into the mattress while your face is still wet with tears.

But Aventurine is not a normal person. He doesn't know how to have an honest conversation, and he doesn't want to be understood. Lying is his greatest weapon, and sex is a close second. So he kisses you until you’re too breathless to cry, fucks you until you can't think, and makes you come so hard that you’re in too much bliss to grieve. And maybe it's horrible of him, but he enjoys it. He enjoys the way your body takes him in so easily, the way your nails dig into his back, the way you tighten around him when you climax, so wet and needy for him. The way you beg for him in your language for liars as he spends himself inside you: I love you, Aventurine, I love you, I love you, I love you—

Only because it feels good. This is all only because he enjoys fucking you. This is all only because you enjoy fucking him. This is all it'll ever be, and it'll be this way until he gets to meet his end.

(Some months ago, Aventurine started dreaming in Avgin.

It surprised him when he first noticed it. The last time he remembers having a dream in his native tongue, he was twelve years old and still in chains. And even then, it had become a sporadic, strange thing. Awful to wake up from. One minute he was with his mother and sister on a cool, rainy day, speaking fluently in Avgin as he laughed and played—and the next minute, he was being shaken awake in his cage, hearing the cruel lash of Katican.

But ever since he's started speaking Avgin with you, he's been dreaming in it. Vividly. Sometimes he's a child in these dreams, and sometimes he's grown. He's always back in the Sigonian desert, among the tents and the campfires and his family wagons. His mother and sister are alive. Sometimes his father is too. The skies roar with thunder and the stellar winds are always harsh, but they always keep him cocooned up in their arms. He's always warm.

Sometimes Aventurine dreams of nicer days. Clear skies, warm sun, cool breeze—all blessings from the Mother Goddess. On these days, he tends to be an adult, and you tend to be there with him. Your Avgin is fluent but strange, filled with funny loanwords and peculiar slang. His father likes the neologisms and starts using them—but only in wrong ways. His sister finds it embarrassing and keeps apologising to you.

His mother loves you. She loves you so much it hurts. This is how I know you're blessed, Kakavasha, she says, glowing. You’re so lucky to have found such a kind person.

Kakavasha knows this. He knows he's lucky, and in his dreams, that isn't a bad thing. In his dreams, his luck means that his home is not violently excised from his heart: his father never dies; his mother never dies; his sister never dies. The tents are not burned; the wagons are not destroyed. He is never forced to forget his people's dishes, their songs, their language, their joy. And in his dreams, his luck means that he meets you anyway, without all the loss and the chains and the lying.

In his dreams, he is able to bring you to the desert. He is able to teach you the Avgin he spoke as a child, to cook all the meals his mother used to make, to share with you their coffee and their tea. He teaches you prayers. He teaches you blessings. He tells you about Mama Fenge, about how the rain fell when he was born. He takes you to the Kakava Festival, shows you how to dance, sings to you all the Avgin songs until you're singing back. He presses his palm to yours in prayer; he kisses you in devotion, not avoidance.

Sometimes the two of you still fight, the same fights that you have in real life, but he handles them with honesty. He listens to you. He apologises to you. He tells you that he’ll change, and he means it—because this world is a kind one, and he has no need to be so cruel to you.

In this kind world, when you lay in bed with his arms tight around you, you smile at him and say, I love you, Kakavasha. You say it in Avgin—real Avgin, not the dialect born from genocide and deceit—and when he responds, there's not even a little bit of insincerity in his voice. Because Kakavasha never became Aventurine in these dreams, so he has no Interastral Standard in which he can lie to you, no silver tongue with which he can manipulate you, no commodity code that inspires his fear of being controlled by you. Kakavasha only knows Avgin, and he only has his sand, his family, his goddess, his home.

And he has you. Finally, he has you.

He kisses you, and kisses you, and kisses you—and then he tells you the truth.)

.

.

.

Aventurine cannot lie in Avgin.

You noticed this very early on: whenever he lies to you, he always switches to Interastral Standard. Probably he wouldn't be able to do it in his mother tongue. His command of it is too weak, and the words he knows are all too kind. He speaks with the innocence of a child, and children cannot deceive people in the way that adults can. Children cannot perform commerce or negotiate contracts. They cannot use a silver tongue to rob people blind. They cannot save themselves from the gallows.

So Aventurine’s Avgin is defenceless. Vulnerable. So vulnerable it hurts. You are not so vulnerable in your first language because your captors spoke it on occasion, and you learned to lie in it to gain their pity. You told Aventurine that knowing it would help him understand you, but this was a deception. Aventurine’s mother tongue was a language of trust, but yours is a dialect of abuse.

The Avgin language died before Aventurine could be gutted by it; this is why it disarms him so completely. This is why he’s so indulgent and so warm when you use it with him, why he yields to all your requests. Not requests for money or gifts—you’re certain those are meaningless to him—but for affection. Let me hold you. Let me touch you. Let me kiss you. He can never say no.

This is also why he loves hearing you speak his mother tongue, you think—it makes him feel at home, it makes him feel safe. Maybe it even makes him feel loved. He never seems so at peace speaking any other language, so you try to use Avgin as much as possible. You like seeing him happy. You like it even if it means you need to teach him your own native language in exchange, even when it means you need to hear him say all the things your captors used to say. You don't mind it if it's him. You never mind the harm he inflicts on you, especially not when it brings you closer to him.

It is convenient that he cannot lie in Avgin. You only wanted to learn it in the first place because he talks in his sleep—mostly in Standard, but sometimes in his native tongue. And now that you know he cannot lie in Avgin, you also know he's always being honest in his dreams. Honest when he throws his arms around you in his sleep. Honest when he grabs you so tightly that you bruise. Honest when he buries his face into your neck and whispers prayers into your skin.

Most of the words he says are common ones, the earliest vocabulary that he taught you. But there are some things he's withheld from you—and to learn those things, you had to track down linguists from the Intelligentsia Guild, bribe them with your dirty money, have them give you all their deprecated, extinct data. It felt two-faced, and it was violating, but it was the only way. You already know that Aventurine would rather die than translate his feelings for you, would never want this part of himself understood.

I'm sorry for always leaving you.

I'm sorry for making you cry.

I can't bear the thought of losing you.

Freedom would be too lonely without you.

I don't want to hurt you anymore.

I don't want to lie to you anymore.

I missed you.

I want you.

I need you.

I love you.

end

afterword

PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV

⇢ pairing: katsuki bakugo x fem!reader

⇢ rating: e, 18+

⇢ warnings: a/b/o dynamics, mating bites, scenting, knotting, a/b/o-typical animalistic traits, hunting and butchering of animals for consumption, villain-adjacent endeavor and hawks

⇢ tags: alpha bakugo x omega reader, slow burn, aged up characters, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, oral sex (f!receiving)

⇢ art: by the incredible @king-bito

✸ part of my big bang academia - see other incredible works here! ✸

⇢ summary:

In the Kingdom of Eldur, you’re an anomaly, an omega born to a society of betas, and treated poorly for it. During a celebration of the long-standing peace between the Kingdom of Eldur and the distant mountain tribes where alphas and omegas live freely, you meet their leader, Katsuki Bakugo. He is strong and wild and bares his teeth - an alpha’s alpha, who finds the forceful suppression of your omegan nature reprehensible. 

When the King of Eldur rejects your request to accompany him to live with the among mountain tribesfolk, he makes you an offer that stops you in your tracks. A mating bite, knowing that even the King has no authority to sever such a bond. You must decide, then, what you will do - stay and languish within the safe walls of Eldur or trust yourself to an alpha with pointed fangs and sharp temper, whose scent awakens something inside you that’s laid dormant for years. 

Post dates:

PART I: 8/20/22

PART II: 8/27/2022

PART III: TBD

PART IV: TBD

kaedehara kazuha ✩ a new painting in pale scarlet

reblog if you believe fanfics are as valid as books that were published and sold by authors who write as their main careers. I'm trying to prove a point

megumi fushiguro // fic recommendations

note: remember to read the tags! + i do not own any of these works

once bitten, twice shy

lost and found

your type?

dark red

pick you up, keep you close

i really (x6) like you

bunny kisses

the flower and the bee

(divine) dog cuddles

off limits

cockblocked by the squad

lover boy.

staring problem

pomegranate problem

conveniently yours

better late than never

you're the only one that's holding me down

takes one to know one

it's fenty

whatever this is

the birthday boy

with you, my fears disappear

hands

diamonds on the skyline

just feel it

laser focus

all my ghosts

making the last sacrifice

see you around

ducky slippers

therefore, i am

How cruel, how unfair....

as sure as the plants that cherish the sun (masterlist)

a genshin impact x reader soulmate au series

Soulmates are said to exist in all manner of forms. The way we find ours in this world isn’t always easy, but what if fate was a little more obvious with its choices? What if there were things set in stone to tell you who your soulmate is - and all you have to do is go out there and find them? A word of caution, though. The fates still work in strange and mysterious ways, your soulmate will not always be who you expect them to.

[genshin masterlist]

fics will be linked when they’re posted! additional notes are under the cut <3

be careful, he’ll steal your heart - childe - same fingerprints au

In a world where everyone has the same set of fingerprints as their soulmate, you’ve drawn the short straw. It just so happens that your soulmate is a master criminal who has never once been caught, and you keep getting the blame for his actions all because you’re on the system from a silly misdemeanour as a teen.

incomprehensibly bound to you - diluc - red string of fate au

As a Fatui agent looking to go rogue, the only thing that could possibly mess up your plans would be outside interference. As (bad) luck would have it, a stranger from across the continent has shown up in Snezhnaya… and the end of the string tied around your pinky finger is looped and tied in a neat little bow around his. 

stop eating spiders, please i’m begging you - albedo - shared senses au

Your friends tell you that their soulmate loves chocolate, or lives near a flower shop. They have some clumsy moments, but they’re all otherwise relishing in the sensations that come with sharing their soulmate’s senses. Your soulmate is clearly a psychopath, as he delights in eating the strangest things and you’re made to smell the most awful chemicals every single day.

on the outside - tighnari - bodyswap au

Living in Inazuma during the height of the Sakoku Decree’s enforcement leaves you yearning for a taste of the world beyond the seas. Even the soulmates of the people you know all live in Inazuma too, perhaps some twisted way of fate aligning with the will of the archons. That is, until the first day that you wake up in your soulmate’s body- deep in the heart of the Sumeru forests. 

cruel mark of fate - dottore - soulmarks au

You hate the insufferable doctor that lives across the hall from you. He’s selfish, obstinate and teases you far too much. So when you find out one day by chance that he’s your soulmate, you start looking for ways to defy your own fate. Unfortunately for you, fate can’t be persuaded that easily. And you suppose he’s not that bad when you get to know him. 

rinse, die and repeat - kaeya - timeloop au

When you come close to meeting your soulmate, you’re thrown into a timeloop- doomed to repeat the same day endlessly unless you finally cross paths. You’ve got your work cut out for you when you realise that the soulmate you’re trying to meet is the same man you see on the news every evening who was killed in action trying to save someone else.

pen and paper would be an improvement - kazuha - writing on skin au

Anything your soulmate writes on their skin will show up on your own body within moments. You’ve been blessed with an incredibly poetic soulmate who scribbles down haikus when there’s no paper to hand, warming your heart every time you see them… but he never responds to you. Looks like you’ll have to find him the hard way. 

if i have to keep losing pens to find you, i will - ayato - lost items au

Whenever you lose something, your soulmate inexplicably ends up with it. This has been incredibly fortunate for you, whose mysterious soulmate appears to be filthy rich- if all of the jewel-encrusted gold pens and other miscellaneous knick-knacks you end up with are anything to go by. You can only hope that he likes the little wooden trinkets and paraphernalia that he gets in return.

Читать дальше

STUNNING!!

flesh

this is PART THREE of the FIVE PART HORROR miniseries WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING.

itadori yuuji x reader x sukuna

dynamic // yuuji x fem!reader x sukuna

genre // smut + horror

aged up characters (25+)

heavy nsfw + dc, minors do not interact

part three word count // 12.1k

playlist // spook

header by @dilf-uc​ ;___; <333

DO NOT POST MY WORK ON TIKTOK. 

SERIES SUMMARY

a killer is ravaging the streets of your once-peaceful town. will your new roommate protect you from the nightmares that exist both in your head and out of it?

WARNINGS FOR PART THREE (heavy, please read)

horror + general cw - graphic imagery, fear, gore, mentions of death, hallucinations, confusion, derealization, warped reality (a big mindfuck)

nsfw cw - dark content heavy. monsterfucking - true form sukuna (3 meters+ tall, four arms, two dicks, mouths everywhere), drowning (not to the point of death), repeated loss of consciousness, breathplay, gore, double penetration (with tongues, then dicks), orgasm delay and denial, drugged sex, extremely dubcon (tagging noncon), body horror, nipple play, blood kink, blood drinking, fear play, pain play (ish), sadism + masochism, masturbation (m), spit kink (heavy), degradation, humiliation, biting (heavy), cervix fucking (ish), gaping, oral (m -> self and m -> f), begging (f), cum eating, clit nipping (?)

A/N

part four is scheduled to drop late october for the threesome + triple pen + cucking ;>

full text

Читать дальше