MIND OF CLOUDS.

We're all crying

a/n: hello dears! this is something i've been wanting to write for a long time now but never felt the courage to post. this piece is a little bit of a summary of the novel i have been writing. to make it the most enjoyable, i decided to write this as a reader-insert. i also want to apologize if the characters seem ooc. i haven't role-played for years and i have no confidence in my writing.

i hope you do enjoy this piece however. i really don't feel confident, please forgive me if it sucks. ;_; xo

pairing(s): touya todoroki x sibling!reader, implied!hawks x reader t/w: implied!incest, child abuse, neglect, death(?)

There was fire. A vortex of flames amidst the destruction that consumed anything and everything. 

In the heat haze, your gaze was directed ahead, lost. Even you couldn’t grasp the reality of the situation. Your mother held you in her arms as you stared with lifeless eyes. The lights in them have faded, and everything around you was muffled. You couldn’t understand a thing that the others were yelling about. They all sounded like crying. Yelling. A clash of red and blue hues, dancing beautifully before you. Without hearing anything, there was no urge to feel nervous. You lacked the ability to feel anything.

“You are so cool brother Touya!”

“Right? Wait until dad sees me!” Is that… brother Touya? 

“[Y/N] still doesn’t have one– mom why is she like that?”

“She is alright, Fuyumi. Some need longer than others,”

"Mom!! She’s biting me!!  Touya, do something!!”

Your mother would smile at your middle siblings, never trying to make you feel less than, or to make you feel abnormal.

Whenever your siblings would ask why you were “so weird”, Touya would always glare at them as if trying to hold something back. Sometimes, he would even start fights with them over you. Because you had difficulties developing any talent, you were an easy target for your father’s ignorance and hurtful remarks. Remarks, telling you were a waste, a useless spare. Perhaps that was the reason why Touya took it upon himself to protect you. You were second in line of your siblings, and thus being closer to your brother than the rest. But you would always stay the remaining. The unusable. And that role was just fine for you, next to Touya. Perhaps his love for you came from a place of you being “dependent” on him. When it was just the two of you, he shone the brightest in comparison to you.  And that gave him the feeling of responsibility, which fed his ego at exceeding. 

While you fuelled his desire in becoming stronger, you also brought him closer to his destruction. He claimed it was for the both of you, since he had to make up for your lack thereof, but you were just a child. 

You two were inseparable from the start. If Touya was to be eradicated, so would you. If Touya was banished, you would follow. And if your father were to forsake you, so would Touya do the same to your entire family. If it was for him, he would have always wanted to be by your side.

“Big brother…”

Your voice sounded quiet, hoarse. Your skin was burning. The many cuts and scratches mixed with the sweat that formed from the heat and the dirt, through which you were shoved in the quarrel. Weak both physically and mentally, you helplessly lay in the arms of your mother who was silently crying at whatever was unfolding in front of you all. Since your vision was but a blur, you could not grasp the seriousness of it.

 

You barely knew these people that surrounded you, and you felt like they had dragged you into their problems. 

You grew up with your father, and had moved to Hosu city two years ago where you helped him run a family bistro. During the first months of being opened, Shouto and his class paid a visit to the establishment and has been a regular ever since. It was due to his recent visits and getting close to you that your father felt urged to somehow make you reconsider your friendship with the boy. Denying that there was anything wrong with you two getting along, a fight was inevitable. 

The friction began to spread once it had planted its roots and what has felt like a family only had the bitter aftertaste of estrangement. Suddenly things made sense. The stiff way he would talk to you, or how he at times seemed “inattentive” was all due to his own shortcomings when it came to raising a child. Nevertheless he was always supportive, but never forceful. Eventually the time had come for you and him to go separate ways, leaving the bistro to you, and moving back to the countryside. You left things off on neutral terms, as strangers. 

While Shouto knew of the death of his oldest brother, it was a scrap of photograph that he found in the living room peeking out from a cupboard, that made him ask about his oldest sister. At first he thought it was Fuyumi before her hair had gotten those red highlights, but…  when Shouto mentioned the picture to his siblings, Natsuo couldn’t contain his impulse.

“You honestly think that one of them burned to death while the other one who he wanted gone just conveniently drowned?”

It wasn’t a topic anyone would discuss at all. Shouto did recall indeed. When he took a look into what once was Touya’s room, he saw the picture. 

It was of you and Touya. 

Always. 

“They are like twins…” 

Natsuo remarked in annoyance as he watched Touya hype you up. You two looked really alike. The eyes, the hair… and you both wanted to work hard to earn acknowledgement. As a child you always showed a fascination for theater. Singing, dancing and acting. It was one of the closest things to what you’d excel at. 

Enji would never look at you though. He would never come to any of your plays in kindergarten or elementary school. Perhaps it was easier for you to deal with the hatred of your father because of Touya, but it was never easy. If your tears flowed because of him, Touya would always get angry and try to persuade him by winning his acknowledgment. If he had shown your father that he was his best creation, maybe he would accept you as well, but…

A harsh grunt left Endeavor as his heel dug into the earth beneath him. He had to steady himself against Touya’s attacks without hurting his son. Worried was his expression as he looked back at you for a moment. Your muscles tensed as you wanted to lean away from your mother, but you had already lost quite an amount of blood. It must have been internal bleeding. 

Your vision cleared just enough to recognise his blue eyes and crimson hair. Just like that time he first came into the bistro.

“Welcome,” you sheepishly grinned at the man. Your smile was exactly like Touya’s. He tried to hide his gaze with a baseball hat, but given how he was over towering you, you could easily see up from below. He seemed very nervous, apologetic and awkward all at the same time. 

He tried to make small talk about the shop, the frequency of customers and… you. For some reason even you had become nervous, not being able to know why. 

The first time he ever visited you, he came with an envelope. He wouldn’t even know how to talk to you. As if because of a premonition however, you dreaded opening the letter for weeks. When the time did come, you found a handy sum of money. 

Enji had been bringing it each month to your guardian, and every time he welcomed a torrent of insults as a result. You were living by yourself now, so the recipient had become you. Even though you were very grateful and embarrassed to receive the financial aid, you never asked who he was and he never brought it up. He would always look ashamed and timid when staring down at you, and you tried your best to not stammer too much in order to make the situation easier for him. 

Shouto had tried to get you to meet Rei at the hospital, but you ended up turning back right at the door every single time telling him that you just couldn’t do it. You felt no need to get to know her and your other siblings. The thought of all the awkwardness put you off, and you struggled with it for a long time. Eventually you did come around (the awkwardness in-tact) and convinced yourself to at least put some effort into seeing your mother. From what Rei told Shouto, you had died along with Touya. She would cry relentlessly, expressing her guilt of not being able to do more for you. Although she was already in the hospital by that time, she thought she had betrayed you and Touya for not doing more.

Even though you “drowned”, there was never a body seen. 

To have the world know of a child of his to be Quirkless was a taint on his image he could never remove. It was unimaginable. He despised you. You were another obstacle in his goal to becoming the Number One. 

The opportunity came as a godsend when you fell from Sekoto Peak. 

To finally rid himself of this stain. 

When you came to at the hospital, you saw Enji standing at the edge of your bed, a doctor next to him. “You don’t recognize her, sir? You brought her here from… ‘Sekoto Peak’?”

“Yes.”

“You found her after the forest fire, surely there is a conjunction. I need to let the authorities know.”

“I only ever had a son. And he died in the fire.”

Enji replied, leaving there no room for discussion with the doctor. Since by that time he had some influence, it would be no difficulty at making arrangements to keep quiet over this. 

You could barely move due to the head trauma you have sustained, but hearing the death of your brother, your “twin”, you felt an immense weight crush you. There was nothing you could say to the harsh truth that came from your father’s mouth. When the doctor asked you to confirm if you knew Enji, all you could do was shake your head. Shock, disbelief and denial was written on your face. You could only look at your father, horrified.

You always knew. You never had amnesia. 

You just pretended

not to know

always looking

away

Rei handed you over to Fuyumi and Natsuo, reaching out to your brother in order to desperately cool him down. Her Ice Quirk was useless, no matter how she tried. All of them were calling out to Touya. Shouto. Dad. Mom. Fuyumi. Natsuo. Nothing could reach Touya.

You have given up on this family since Sekoto Peak. You failed to be able to establish a connection to them. You weren’t interested. You felt nothing for them. Or perhaps, that was just your stubbornness, your way of avoiding to deal with all the emotional effort you’d need to put in, if you were to become a part of the family again.

It was easier not to deal with things, than try to fight the inevitable. 

But they were still trying to save Touya. 

It was Touya.

If not being able to do it for Shouto’s sake… then you might become able to want to contribute in building the family up again for Touya.

But would he even hear your voice if you’d call out to him? Would it even make a difference…? After all, he was your most treasured—

“We’re going to stop Touya together.” The moment your mother declared it in your father’s hospital room, you looked at her in shock. You stood a few feet away from your family, but the drift felt bigger than ever. The only way to end something like this was through death. Touya would either be imprisoned or would die trying to destroy your father. Anyone knew this, however you couldn’t. You just couldn’t.

“I’m not going. You’ll kill him..."

You sounded upset, rightfully so. You didn’t know what it implied to “stop Touya”, but all the flags pointed into one direction, and if you were to lose him for sure this time, horrible as it sounds, your life would become meaningless just like after Sekoto Peak.

“[Y/N]—”

“Don’t call me that,” you reacted violently at your birth name when your mother tried to calm you. Your tone was low and definitely off-putting, but never actively aggressive.

You realized that the wounds still ran deep, and you couldn’t yet forgive any of them. When Natsuo tried to intervene, you laid him flat with words.

“Don’t try to act like we’re family. None of you ever did anything for him. You made him become like this, and now you want to kill him? You all are insane.”

“You aren’t listening, we never said that was our only option [Y/N]!”

Natsuo yelled back, making you clench your jaw and watch him with wide eyes. You were furious and hesitant if you should slap him across the face.  He didn’t know of it, but you heard Touya cry many nights to Natsuo and equally you also didn't know of how many times Natsuo fought for Touya's memory during your time away. None of you knew how the other felt about anything, and this divide came naturally from being separated.

Even if you were children, the childhood you all had to endure would have shown you to behave differently and try to support each other though, that is what you believed. That was the judgement you held over your two middle siblings. It was a very one-sided way of seeing everything, and you only realized this once you had calmed down.

“I’m not going...”

You spoke with a trembling voice and turned your gaze away from them, walking out of the room. Keigo tried to reach his hand out to you, but to no avail. He rushed after you, hastily tapping away on his device.

‘[Y/N]... I know you are angry. But it is now the most important to stay calm. If things work out, you all can smile next spring.’

Coming to a halt with tears in your eyes, you turned just a little to look back at him with a heartbroken expression.

‘It must be hell for you. But you need to stand up to him. If anyone, it should be you and your family to be with him.’

And even though the truth hurt, you could not stop from crying in Keigo’s arms. He enveloped you, a small, weak girl, denying the fact that there was no other way.

“Touya-nii, please!! Don’t take them away!! I don’t want to lose anyone else!”

Fuyumi and Natsuo both yelled at Touya, who had been long gone. He kept telling Enji to look at him. And now everyone was.

“Are you sure about this?” Keigo asked one last time before departing. You nodded your head with a confident air. Your expression left no room for doubt. You were going to your brother. “There is something I need to do.” He smiled at you with soft eyes and gently ruffled your hair. You looked at him a bit shy, but soon smiled at him. “Don’t forget that we’re going to the cinema over the weekend," Keigo joked with a wink for a small moment before fixing his gaze. He straightened himself and looked deep into your eyes.

"Come back safely. You're very dear to me." His voice whispered as his hand gently, just barely touched the frame of your face. Your face grew hot and you felt dizzy at the affection he showed you. It was like none other you have ever witnessed. Your eyes closed briefly, taking in everything for one last time. When you opened your eyes, you smiled endearingly for him, wishing for the same. He seemed relieved to you, but dread was written all over him in reality. With a heavy heart, he placed his lips onto your forehead and waved you goodbye before setting off for his own mission. You watched him with the same smile before also taking your step to catch up to Shouto and Enji.

To think that you were hopeful in such a situation without a good ending in sight…

“Put out… your flames… Touya!!”

The sound of your father’s voice had become clear. Your mother was crying, apologizing to him while she tried to keep cooling him off. Enji was prepared to take him high up to the skies in order to not make him kill all of you, but your mother stopped them.

She didn’t want any of you to die.

“Natsu-nii… Fu…yumi-chan…” Touya gurgled his words. It was painful seeing him in this state. He was completely burning up, as if there was nothing of him left. “Da…d… Mo… Mom…?”

He was… still there…

Your lifeless eyes regained their light, and you began to force yourself up. Fuyumi and Natsuo tried to hold you, to keep you from more harm but the fire that lit inside you was burning bright.

Even if your lives were to burn away, run until you turn to ash—

It might be your last chance.

Everyone froze when you stepped forward, as if making way for you to Touya. With your arms extended to him, his flame burned the skin of your left arm. He held onto you with his remaining arm, and while you silently cried due to the pain, what caused you to spill tears was when he called out to you.

“[Y/…N]?”

You started to cry. His pitiful form told you he would never be the same again. Perhaps this was goodbye... you didn't want to let go of him, but he wouldn't put out his flames. Your heart was broken. Losing him for good would kill you. You came here prepared for that, and yet... you couldn't stop being incredibly sad. He never once cried in front of you. He held it in for you. You apologized to him in your heart for not being able to do the same for him. Even now, you were crying.

“Yes… I came to get you, Touya-nii… let’s go home. Everyone is waiting for you... I’ll be with you… Touya…” “Don’t… cry…”

Hearing him speak to you like he always did when you were sad, you broke out in tears. You gave him a heartfelt nod, tears spilling from your eyes. You stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, before the flames engulfed you both, turning the blue into white.

In this white world where time has stopped, you awoke, a warm breeze blowing past you. The wind fluttered your hair against your cheeks. Your eyes softly gazed ahead, seeing Touya and your family. He was so happy. He finally was acknowledged by everyone. Everyone was looking at him. His endurance has paid off. Oh how happy you were for him... standing here, next to him, felt like all the bad had disappeared. He was grinning at your father, his eyes closed in content.

His eyes opened and he turned to look to you, his grin wide as always.  You grinned back just the same way. His hand brushed against yours, his fingers tracing your palm until he intertwined with yours. Touya held your hand, a soft blush on his cheeks while he kept smiling bashfully at you. 

The two of you smiled at each other until everything turned white. Slowly but surely "I like you a lot, [Y/N]." "I like you too, Touya-nii!" you two are happy someplace else

Genshin Angst - Masterlist

Angst Full Chapter Fics

1. Albedo - Breaking Up 

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3-Final)

2. Zhongli - Smile for Me

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)  (Part 5)  (Part 6-Final)

3. Xiao - Strength

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)  (Part 6 - final)

4. Gorou - Two Sides, One Coin

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3 - Final)

5.  Itto- Fool Me once 

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

Angst Shortfic/Drabbles

Death and regrets (Kazuha, Childe) (Scaramouche, Kaeya) (Thoma, Xiao, Diluc, Zhongli) (Itto, Gorou, Albedo)

Death, Regrets and Second Chances [An Alternate Ending to Death and Regrets] (Kazuha, Childe) (Scaramouche, Kaeya)

Death, Regrets and The Aftermath [One Year after Death and Regrets] (Kazuha, Childe)

“Let’s stop seeing each other” (Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo)

He compares you to his ex (Childe, Xiao)  (Zhongli, Scaramouche, Diluc)

“What would you do if I disappeared?” (All male characters)

It’s my turn to protect you/reader self-sacrifice (Aether, Scaramouche, Childe)

Somewhere you can’t follow (Thoma, Itto, Diluc)

help me decide which fic to finish for scara’s birthday

彡style

req by my gorgeous 🦇 anon

pairing' park seonghwa x stylist!reader

genre' smau, friends to lovers

warnings' suggestive, seonghwa is jelly, you already know jongho is the side ho

a/n' this is a little bit different from my other smaus in this series, bc reader and seonghwa are never actually fwb. hope you guys like this one, bc now we only have jongho left

Genshin Impact Masterlist

Last Update: 18/04/2022

✩ Characters that I dont write for in this fandom: none of the NPC (rip), Aether/Lumine, Bennett, Chongyun, Diona, Fischl, Characters that still have to come out (this is valid only for normal request lol), Klee, Noelle, Qiqi, Sayu, Razor, Xingqiu, Xinyan, Yoimiya, (Idk much about them sorry;;), Arakati Itto, feel free to ask about certain characters that aren’t listed here, I might have forgotten a few!

✩ Check the tag genshin.writing if you want to see all my work for this fandom!

⤠ Dr Stone Masterlist (soon!) ⤟ Main Masterlist ⤠ Haikyuu Masterlist ⤟

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Mondstadt 

➵ Threesome HCs (Smut - Diluc Ragnvindr, Kaeya Alberich)

➵ «Got lipstick on my leg» (Drabble, Smut - Diluc Ragnvindr)

➵ When they are jealous I (Yandere, Smut - Diluc Ragnvindr, Childe)

➵ «La stretta al collo, l’ha stretta al collo» (Yandere, Smut, Prince AU, Fic - Diluc Ragnvindr)

➵ Number 11 Milestone Event (Drabble, Smut - Diluc Ragnvindr)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Liyue

➵ «L'ultima tua prova sarà la morte» (Yandere, Smut - Zhongli)

➵ Kinktober Day 2 - Size Kink (Smut - Zhongli)

➵ Numbers 29, 67 Milestone Event (Drabble, Smut - Xiao)

➵ Number 32 Milestone Event (Drabble, Smut - Zhongli)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Inazuma

➵ When they are jealous II (Yandere, Smut - Tohma, Gorou)

➵ Smut hcs (Ayato Kamisato)

➵ Numbers 73, 87 Milestone Event (Drabble, Smut - Ayato Kamisato)

➵ Numbers 12, 86 Milestone Event (Drabble, Smut - Scaramouche, Kazuha Kaedahara)

➵ «Nessuno cercherà nel tuo cuore» (Yandere, Smut, fic? - Ayato Kamisato)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Snezhnaya

➵ Old HCs - New HCs  (Smut - Childe)

➵ Nessuna possibilità di scelta (Yandere Drabble - Childe)

➵ «You can be the beauty, and I could be the monster» (Yandere Fic - Childe)

➵ When they are jealous I (Yandere, Smut - Childe, Diluc Ragnvindr )

➵ Number 9 Milestone Event (Drabble, Smut - Childe, Kazuha Kaedahara)

➵ Number 18 Milestone Event (Drabble, Smut - Childe)

➵ Number 29 Milestone Event (Drabble, Smut - Childe)

All the works that are linked here belong to this blog, alj0saray, please do not repost, translate, copy, rewrite or share on tiktok without my permission.

2025 carat revival : bias week wonwoo and his nose scrunch🥺 [source: x x x x ]

Venom Masterlist

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Hehe

I decided to create a masterpost that would help you with what you are struggling with. Hopefully any of the links below will help you! Reminder; You’re going to be okay. What you are going through will pass, just remember to breathe. 

————————————————————————————-

Distractions;

Here are some distractions to help keep your mind occupied so you aren’t too focused on your thoughts. 

-Draw something

-This website translates the time into colours.

-Create your own galaxy.

-Play flowing.

-Make a 3D line travel where ever you like. 

-Listen to music.

-Calm.

-Ocean mood, do nothing for two minutes.

Sleep issues; 

- 8 hour sleep music.

-Rainy mood. 

-Meditation.

-Coping with nightmares.

-How to cope with nightmares, 11 steps.

-Calm

-Foods that can affect your sleeping, both positive and negatively. 

  Uncomfortable with silence; 

-Rainy mood.

-10 hours of rain and thunder.

-3 hours of rain and thunder.

-Human heartbeat.

-Rainforest.

-Sound of rain on a tin roof.

-Autumn wind.

-Rain on a tent

-Traffic in the rain.

-Soft traffic. 

-Fan.

-Train.

-Simply noise.

-My noise.

-Rainy cafe.

Anxiety; 

-How to stop worrying. 

-Tips to manage anxiety and stress.

-The 10 best ever anxiety management techniques. 

-Self-help strategies for anxiety. 

-Helping a friend with anxiety. 

-All about worrying.

-8 myths about anxiety. 

Sad, angry and depressed/depression; 

-“I’m always sad”

-Feeling sad.

-Going through trauma.

-“I’m always angry”.

-Anger management. 

-All about anger.

-National helplines and websites.

-Self-help strategies for depression.

-Dealing with depression at work.

-Dealing with depression at school.

Isolation and loneliness; 

-Pets and mental health.

-All about loneliness. 

-“I feel so alone”

-10 more ideas to help with loneliness. 

-How to deal with loneliness.

  Self-harm;

-Alternatives to self-harm and distraction techniques.

-146 things to do besides self-harm.

-More alternatives to self-harm.

-Self-harm alternatives.

-How to take care of self-harm wounds/injuries.

-Getting rid of scars.  

Addiction; 

-How to help a friend with a drug addiction.

-What is addiction?

-All about alcohol and addiction.

-The facts about drug addiction.

  Eating disorders; 

-Helping a friend with an eating disorder.

-Eating disorder treatments. 

-Support services for eating disorders. 

-Self-help tips with eating disorders.

-Eating disorder recovery. 

-Recovering from an eating disorder. 

-100+ reasons to recover. 

-Understanding and managing eating disorders. 

  Dealing with self-hatred;  

-3 ways to ease self-loathing. 

-How to turn self-hatred into self-compassion.

-Self-hatred resources.

-10 step plan to deal with self-hate. 

  Suicidal; 

-International suicide hotlines (1)  (2)

-Preventing suicide. 

-Reasons to stay alive.

-Dealing with suicidal thoughts and feelings.

-Coping with suicidal ideation.  

  Schizophrenia;

-All about schizophrenia.  

-Helping a person with schizophrenia.  

-Understanding and dealing with schizophrenia.  

-Delusions and hallucinations.  

OCD;

-Managing your OCD at home. 

-Overcoming OCD.

-How to cope with OCD. 

-Strategies for dealing with the anxious moments. 

Borderline personality disorder; 

-Helping someone with BPD. 

-All about personality disorders.

-Treatment for BPD.

Abuse; 

-Healthy relationships VS abusive relationships. 

-Emotional abuse

-Overcoming sexual abuse. 

-Hotlines services. 

-5 ways to escape an abusive relationship. 

-Domestic violence support. 

-Signs of an abusive relationship. 

-What do to if you’re in an abusive relationship. 

-Surviving abuse. 

-What you can do if you’re sexual harassed. 

-Sexual assault support.

-What to do if you’ve been sexually assaulted or abused. 

  Bullying;

-How to stand up against bullying.

-How to protect yourself when it comes to cyber bullying.

-How to help stop people bullying you. 

  Loss and grief; 

-How to cope with a suicide of a loved one.

-Grieving for a stranger. 

-Common reactions to death. 

-Working through grief.

(Other loss and grief)

-Moving away from friends and family. 

-Coping with a breakup.

  Getting help; 

-Seeking help early. 

-All about psychological treatments. 

-Types of help.

-All about age and confidentiality. 

Things you need to remember; 

- Don’t stress about being fixed because you’re not broken.

-Remember to remind yourself of your accomplishments. Tell yourself that you’re proud of yourself, even if you’re not. 

- This is temporary. You won’t always feel like this. 

-You are not alone. 

-You are enough. 

-You are important. 

-You are worth it. 

-You are strong. 

-You are not a failure, 

-Good people exist. 

-Reaching out shows strength. 

-Breathe. 

-Don’t listen to the thoughts that are not helping you. 

-Give yourself credit. 

-Don’t be ashamed of your emotions, for the good or bad ones. 

-Treat yourself the same way as you would treat a good friend. 

-Focus on the things you can change. 

-Let go of toxic people. 

-You don’t need to hide, you’re allowed to feel the way you do. 

-Try not to beat yourself up. 

-Something is always happening, you don’t want to miss out on what’s going to happen next. 

-You are not a bother.

-Your existence is more than your appearance. 

-You are smart. 

-You are loved. 

-You are wanted. 

-You are needed. 

-Better days are coming. 

-Just because your past is dark, doesn’t mean your future isn’t bright. 

-You have more potential than you think. 

- Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

Please remember to look after yourself and know that you are more than worth it and you deserve to be happy. Keep smiling butterflies x