Kdotfann - Black Beauty

various medieval English rulers in a grocery store

I have ingested nyquil so I am doing this

Alfred the Great: buys just enough canned food and duct tape to the point where you’re not overly concerned but you are pretty sure he’s a doomsday prepper

Aethelflaed: fills three carts with snack cakes, those church basement paper cups, and generic brand soda because no one can negotiate a surrender on an empty stomach

Athelstan: that is far too much coffee 

Aethelred the Unready: just buying every single item on his wife’s list. This is the fourth store he’s been to because Emma is very specific.

Cnut: only came here for all his Special Haircare Products

William the Conqueror: fills up a cart and just leaves without paying. just fucking books it to the parking lot I hate him

Matilda: comes in with three rowdy boys, tells them to not ask for ANYTHING, buys an armload of 5-hour energies, leaves with two rowdy boys

Henry II: walks around the store eating a bag of grapes he has not bought while Eleanor does the actual shopping

Richard I: will find a way to talk about his study abroad last year with the deli guy if it kills him. Is also texting his mom to ask what groceries he needs to buy because he has no idea

John: verbally berating everyone in customer service because they won’t let him return a dented can of peas that expired 7 years ago

Edward I: tries to use a 24 year old coupon to buy lentils in bulk (he doesn’t even like lentils?) and knocks over an elaborate pepsi display in a fit of rage 

Edward II: has his card declined and demands to know why the cashier had to be so loud about it

Edward III: says “guess it’s FREE THEN HAHAHA!!!” when an item doesn’t scan right away. several items do not scan. Gets a veteran’s discount.

Richard II: that’s uhhh… a lot of advil there buddy 

Henry V: also has his card declined but drops the “DO YOU KNOW WHO MY FATHER IS” line, is dressed like lucky luciano 

Henry VI: begins to panic when Margaret leaves him in line for two minutes because she forgot eggs. the line is moving quickly…so quickly

Edward IV: he has one cart filled with wine. Elizabeth Woodville has another filled with kid cuisines. 

Henry VII: pulls out the fattest binder you have ever seen and it’s filled with coupons. His transactions usually take 2 hours and he tsks the entire time. 

Henry VIII: buys bags of charcoal and dog food just so he can pick them all up and be like “yeah this isn’t even heavy to me I don’t even feel it” also buys condoms and laughs nervously 

Edward VI: literally just buying root vegetables even though he’s 9 because he is so weird

Mary I: just coming in for her weekly supply of “praying for you” cards, always gives exact change thank you mary 

Elizabeth I (if these even count as medieval anymore): no longer allowed to do her own shopping after the sweet n low incident. Now a personal shopper gets her groceries for her. it is robert dudley 

Emma of Normandy - Twice a Queen

There is a tantalizingly small amount known of Emma’s early life. She was the daughter of Richard I “The Fearless” Duke of Normandy and his second wife Gunorra and was born between 985 and 990 A.D. Emma was married to the Anglo-Saxon King Aethelred “The Unready” of England in 1002 when she was probably in her early teens. This marriage was a decisive and desperate political move made by Aethelred. The reign of King Aethelred was plagued by war with the invading Vikings and, though he was forceful, Aethelred was branded “Æþelræd Unræd” or “Aethelred of Bad counsel.” The name quickly evolved to “Aethelred the Unready.” He married Emma because she was Norman, and therefore of Viking descent, as her great-grandfather was the Viking Rollo, founder of Normandy. 

Emma was around twenty years younger than her husband Aethelred, who already had ten children by his first wife, including several sons. Nevertheless, Emma produced three children: Edward (later Edward the Confessor), Alfred Aetheling, and Goda of England. The early years of Emma’s life in England can not have been peaceful for her. She was a Danish outsider who could not speak the old English language of her subjects, as far as some people were concerned. She was often caught between the English and Danish factions and was held somehow responsible for attacks carried out by Swein Forkbeard, the ruler of Viking occupied England. Out of this, Emma likely developed a sharp political mind. Soon the volatile political climate turned towards war. In 1109, Aethelred and Emma were preparing for a major battle with the Vikings and all able men in the country were called upon. But in 1011 Swein Forkbeard was victorious and moving dangerously far into southern England. 

Acting as a dutiful queen, Emma followed her husband’s lead and continued to hold court, but she convinced him to move the court to Kent. It was not long before Emma realized the end was near for Aethelred’s reign, even if he did not. She escaped to Normandy, humiliated by her husband, and had her children follow. Meanwhile, Swein and his sons Harold and Cnut established the first Viking dynasty in England. A year later Swein was dead and by 1016 Aethelred was as well, leaving Emma a widow. Emma knew her son Edward was unlikely to succeed his father, as her stepson Edmund Ironside was the obvious heir. She saw Edmund as a chance to save the fortunes of her children and herself and sought to stay in his favor in order to keep her own estates. But Edmund was soon dead. Swein was succeeded by his son Cnut, who would one day be known as “Cnut the Great.” When Cnut made it clear that he would have Emma as his queen it seemed her only safe option was to marry him. But Emma also had her own motives for doing so. She wanted to protect her own wealth, estates, and the Anglo-Saxon people she ruled over. Most importantly, marrying Cnut would save her three children by (ostensibly) neutralizing their claims to the throne. Emma married Cnut and became Queen of England for a second time under a completely new dynasty. She bore Cnut two children, a son called Harthacnut and a daughter called Gunhilda.  

As Cnut’s Queen, Emma took an active role in Church politics and was a patroness of many religious works. It is suggested in the Encomium Emmae Reginae  (written in praise of the Viking kings of England as well as of Emma) that Emma and Cnut did marry for political reasons, but that their union developed into one of real affection. Cnut died in 1035 and was succeeded by his and Emma’s son Harthacnut. In 1036, Emma’s sons Edward and Alfred returned from Normandy and soon afterwards Alfred was captured, blinded, and died as a result. Edward fled after this incident, perhaps to protect his own claim to the throne.

Emma was one of the main influences during the reign of Harthacnut. She also helped to engineer the joint reign between her sons Edward and Harthacnut and maintain peace between the Anglo Saxon and Viking factions.She may even have acted as a co-ruler. When Harthacnut died in 1042, Edward was left as the sole ruler of England. Emma died in 1052 and was buried in Winchester next to her second, and perhaps best loved, husband Cnut the Great and her son Harthacnut. Her influence is still felt in history through the prominence of her eldest son, Edward the Confessor, who may never have been king had Queen Emma not fought for herself and her children. She is the most visible of the early medieval queens and one of the first Queens of England to have a marked role in government.   

Beautiful girl from Madagascar (East Africa)

Straight like that.

★ TrackStarHoney ★ R E A D Y . S E T . S L A Y

November 15th 1998: Stokely Carmichael dies

On this day in 1998, civil rights leader Stokely Carmichael died aged 57. Born in Port of Spain, Trinidad and Tobago in 1941, Carmichael moved to the United States when he was eleven. An intelligent youth, Carmichael was admitted to the prestigious Bronx High School, where the majority of his classmates were wealthy white teenagers. Acutely aware of the racial injustices of American society, Carmichael joined the Civil Rights Movement upon seeing footage of a sit-in on television. After graduating high school in 1960, Carmichael studied philosophy at Howard University in Washington D.C., but still participated in freedom rides; he was jailed for 49 days in Jackson, Mississippi for entering a ‘whites only’ bus stop. In 1964, he joined the Student Non-violent Coordinating Committee and became an effective field organiser charged with registering black voters in the Deep South. While working in Lowndes County, Alabama, Carmichael founded his own political party, choosing a black panther as its logo. Despite initially adhering to Martin Luther King Jr.’s nonviolent philosophy, Carmichael became frustrated with the slow progress of the movement, and upon becoming national chairman of SNCC in May 1966 rejected the group’s white members. In October, Carmichael made the speech for which he is best remembered - his defiant ‘Black Power’ address at University of California, Berkeley. The phrase quickly became a rallying cry for younger, more radical activists who advocated black separatism instead of the nonviolent doctrine of racial integration. This new approach was exemplified by the Blank Panther party, which Carmichael became the leader of in 1967, arguing for black nationalism and pan-Africanism. It was in the pursuit of this latter cause that Carmichael spent the rest of his life in Conakry, Guinea, changing his name to Kwame Toure. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 1985, and died in 1998.

“We been saying freedom for six years and we ain’t got nothing. What we gonna start saying now is Black Power!”

Life Without Black People A very humorous and revealing story is told about a group of white people who were fed up with African Americans, so they joined together and wished themselves away. They passed through a deep dark tunnel and emerged in sort of a twilight zone where there is an America without black people. At first these white people breathed a sigh of relief. ‘At last’, they said, ‘no more crime, drugs, violence and welfare.’ All of the blacks have gone! Then suddenly, reality set in. The ‘NEW AMERICA’ is not America at all - only a barren land. 1. There are very few crops that have flourished because the nation was built on a slave-supported system. 2. There are no cities with tall skyscrapers because Alexander Mils, a black man, invented the elevator, and without it, one finds great difficulty reaching higher floors. 3. There are few if any cars because Richard Spikes, a black man, invented the automatic gearshift, Joseph Gambol, also black, invented the Super Charge System for Internal Combustion Engines, and Garrett A. Morgan, a black man, invented the traffic signals. 4. Furthermore, one could not use the rapid transit system because its procurer was the electric trolley, which was invented by another black man, Albert R. Robinson. 5. Even if there were streets on which cars and a rapid transit system could operate, they were cluttered with paper because an African American, Charles Brooks, invented the street sweeper.. 6. There were few if any newspapers, magazines and books because John Love invented the pencil sharpener, William Purveys invented the fountain pen, and Lee Barrage invented the Type Writing Machine and W. A. Love invented the Advanced Printing Press. They were all, you guessed it, Black. 7. Even if Americans could write their letters, articles and books, they would not have been transported by mail because William Barry invented the Postmarking and Canceling Machine, William Purveys invented the Hand Stamp and Philip Downing invented the Letter Drop. 8. The lawns were brown and wilted because Joseph Smith invented the Lawn Sprinkler and John Burr the Lawn Mower. 9. When they entered their homes, they found them to be poorly ventilated and poorly heated. You see, Frederick Jones invented the Air Conditioner and Alice Parker the Heating Furnace. Their homes were also dim. But of course, Lewis Lattimer later invented the Electric Lamp, Michael Harvey invented the lantern, and Granville T. Woods invented the Automatic Cut off Switch. Their homes were also filthy because Thomas W. Steward invented the Mop and Lloyd P. Ray the Dust Pan. 10. Their children met them at the door - barefooted, shabby, motley and unkempt. But what could one expect? Jan E. Matzelinger invented the Shoe Lasting Machine, Walter Sammons invented the Comb, Sarah Boone invented the Ironing Board, and George T. Samon invented the Clothes Dryer. 11. Finally, they were resigned to at least have dinner amidst all of this turmoil. But here again, the food had spoiled because another Black Man, John Standard invented the refrigerator… Now, isn’t that something? What would this country be like without the contributions of Blacks, as African-Americans? Martin Luther King, Jr. said, 'by the time we leave for work, millions of Americans have depended on the inventions from the minds of Blacks.’ Black history includes more than just slavery, Frederick Douglass, Martin Luther Kinbg, Jr., Malcolm X, and Marcus Garvey & W.E.B. Dubois. Reblog!!!

(via blvkvholic)

❝ ‘Henry VII’s devout and rather awesome mother’, was the description the historian Neville Williams offered of Margaret Beaufort in his 1973 biography of the King. Both adjectives in this statement are true, but neither do full justice to the woman who forms the subject of this book. William’s assessment does, however, accurately summarize the way in which Margaret has often been portrayed: a religious fanatic who was obsessively ambitious on her son’s behalf and dominated his court, an image compounded by the effigy upon her tomb as well as the surviving portraits, which show her wearing widow’s weeds and a barbed wimple, on her knees in prayer. This is an image often conjured up when the name Margaret Beaufort is mentioned. Yet it is two-dimensional as the paintings themselves, frequently used as a convenient short-hand when relating the tales of the period. Margaret’s own story and her true character as a living, breathing woman are a far cry from such flat representations.Nicola Tallis, Uncrowned Queen: The Fateful Life of Margaret Beaufort, Tudor Matriarch.

Such a f*#king shame....another poor black brother!!😔😔

I’m torn about the photo choice. But those monsters should see what they’ve done. #Hate it!