Cherry Blossom.

May the 4th Be With You!!!

2022 edition✨

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by Mauro Roberto Scalabroni

mission on swamp planet<3

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Jason’s-alive-reveal-au where he decides that in order to fuck with Bruce on every level he needs access to both sides of his life, so not only does he become Red Hood but he also starts working at WE and accidentally slowly starts climbing the corporate ladder. he didn’t mean to be anything more than a low-level grunt but turns out he fucking rules at this job, and it all comes to light because thinking he wouldn’t be important meant he didn’t even bother using a fake name, and eventually Tim’s in his office like, running through promotions that he needs to approve for some of the higher positions.

Tim, seeing ‘Jason Peter Todd’ as one of the names on the list:

Tim: *narrows eyes*

Lucius, spotting the name: ….oh. what do you want to-

Tim: give him the promotion.

Lucius: ….give the promotion to the person using Bruce’s dead son’s name?

Tim: if he gets the promotion he’ll have to attend the monthly board meetings. i want to watch whoever this is try and get away with that. we’ll tear him apart.

Tim thinks he’s being real funny up until Jason fucking Todd walks into the boardroom two weeks later and maintains direct eye contact just daring him to freak out in front of everyone. i like to think that Bruce is also at this meeting, but he fell asleep five minutes ago so he doesn’t even notice, and Tim spends the next hour glaring daggers into the passed out man’s head for daring to leave him alone in this situation.

the thing is, Bruce probably slacks off so much at WE that even if Jason was like. in the highest position he could possible achieve in his department. he probably wouldn’t notice. Jason and Tim come to an understanding filled with spite that leads Tim to keep quiet about Jason’s revival specifically because Bruce keeps palming his work off on Tim and he wants to get him back.

eventually the family find out who Red Hood is and Tim doesn’t act surprised in the slightest. betrayed, Bruce asks why Tim would keep that kind of information from him only to immediately get shouted down with ‘-WELL MAYBE IF YOU ACTUALLY SHOWED UP TO THE FUCKING STOCK MEETINGS YOU WOULD KNOW-‘

after like twenty seconds of shocked silence at the outburst Jason turns to clap Bruce on the shoulder, ‘oh right. also i run your marketing department. see you in a couple days for the quarterly report.’

(i think its also funnier if Damian was somewhat aware of the situation due to doing some kind of volunteer/internship thing at WE for school, and like two months after Tim found out, Damian was in his office with him when Jason waltzed in to hand in some papers and both Tim and Damian froze. Tim because he didn’t think Damian knew Jason and was afraid he’d snitch, and Damian because what the fuck is Todd doing in front of a family member without the helmet?!

Jason, after like a minute: Dami, i can explain

Damian, really doesn’t want to get dragged into whatever bullshit Jason’s doing, because he had enough of that in the league and doesn’t want to be held responsible by both Bruce and Talia when this inevitably blows up in their faces: you know what Todd? i actually don’t want you to.

Jason:

Jason: thats honestly fair

Tim, confused: …am i missing something here?

Jason and Damian, simultaneously: no.)

by Caitlin

Please Don’t Tell Him to Pull up

The JL has a problem. Specifically a problem with Marvel. See, whenever they call him in for back up or even just to chat, he pulls up in the most ridiculous ways.

JL: *fighting villain on a beach*

Supes: “We need back up! Someone call, Cap!”

Flash: “I thought he was—” *dodges punch* “—busy!”

Supes: “Well, he better become unbusy! Call him!”

They called him, and guess how he decided to show up.

Marvel: *riding surfboard while a big ass Kraken chases after him*

Aquaman: *has to pause, amazed awe*

Supes: “What are you lo— oh my God.” *has to pause too*

Marvel: *does a little kick flip, nearly falls*

The villain didn’t notice him until a large shadow loomed over them, and he was promptly picked up by the Kraken’s beak and taken away.

Flash: “Did we just see a man die?”

Aquaman: “Cap, that was awesome!”

or

JL: *fighting aliens*

Hero: “Guys we need more back up!”

Hero 2: “I’ll call it in!”

5 minutes later…

Marvel: *flying above them and lets himself freefall*

Supes: *pauses* “We have to get out of here.” *can deadass hear him falling*

The JL quickly rounded themselves up and dipped immediately as Billy let himself fall onto a bunch of aliens at like Mach 12 making a crater.

He loves dramatic entrances.

she's been growing on me lately

This is literally the most bomb-ass D&D story I’ve ever read in my life oh my god.