My Own Lobotomy...

My own lobotomy...

It's entertaining. To be honest I'm enjoying this whole thing. It's like an out of mind kind of deal, to which I am the surgeon looking down into the brain of a young man whose life is in my hands.To which is quite interesting since I'm performing my own surgery.

It's to my understanding that I do enjoy looking deeply into my life and how it spreads to others, effecting them. I have been quite a good man to many and to quite a few a mother fucker. To all, I agree with. I have been a paragon to many as possible. It's in my nature to be so. Whilst it's also in my nature to be a bastard to those who have it coming or to those who I believe deserve it. I find myself in the nature versus nurture ordeal a lot of the time. But in all honesty, I try to stay in line out of how I believe things should be. Then again this rule applies to every living soul to walk across the crusty earth.

As I dissect into the lobes and folds and vained grey bits of this young man I find that he's never really cared for much. That he takes life for what it is. A good joke. To me a good joke has a meaning and a good joke has a downside to it all.

So far all I can do is laugh at the irony, the bits of bullshit and how cliched the world is. Could my life be scripted? Written into a cheesey series of novels that some teens will read, thus pushing the sales into movie territory and thus a cheesey movie of my life will be made. I find that my life will be as it is while more will find it to be more than an average joe's. It's up to them to make me seem more than I am. In some other dimension or universe, I'm just character on a page. But in my dimension or universe I'm a self noticed teen who already cracked the fourth wall and yet hasn't the care in the world. Take in all the little things and make a big deal out of them. Take in the big things and make them as small as possible. Keep everything you love close and stay aware that you're still alive even though I find myself in situations that I believe wouldn't happen to a goof like myself. Such as coming across things like a great girl, a good moment or even a song to speaks to me. I find myself in the fourth wall conundrum where I think I'm either reliving a moment through death and through time (so it goes) or I'm dreaming.

A rarity this boy might be, but alas he's flawed and easy to pierce. Many young adults can agree with him, that is if they knew him before he was drained of what sense he has left, filled with chemicals and then operated on. Maybe he's a dying breed. Maybe he was an old soul. Time to preserve this specimen is running low.