Si La Depresión Me Vence Prometo Ser Una Estrella Hermosa Y Brillante.

by j.k.lueder

don't play hide and seek with girls

nothing’s easy. it’ll be okay. if you ever see someone face down in anything you can pretend it’s me. i know i do. sometimes i fantasize about being thrown through the windshield. about drowning out the noise with glass. chanting the mantra of “someday maybe one day” but the iron hands of progress are always so careless with me and all my knee jerk reactions that could’ve only been taught. you’re here but you always felt like you’ve got somewhere else to be. i just wanna know why can’t lightning hit the sands of time. why none of my favorite moments last longer than the heartache between them. so ready or not here i come. but in the time it took to count back from 100 you woke up from the hypnosis and went home. that’s how it always is. if jesus is coming none of this matters. if you need me i’ll be in the river smoothing stones by hand. it’s a crisis of faith. the way i think about you changing your mind sometimes. you and your driftwood smile. all the yellow brick roads i’m not allowed to walk on. an exposé on seashell noise. on anything at all. it’s like trying to sleep but all my bones are breaking at the same time. how do i explain that i just want to bury some sleep behind your ear and hope you wake up missing me. i just want the parts of you that go home for the holidays. that i get so upset when i bump into wind chimes. like sometimes i think if i repeat myself enough this will become a song. something impossibly red. something you can fall asleep to. people want to see your picture. they want to know who i write about. they want to know your name. all i can say is “but that’s no how you spell sorry” i get upset when i think about soap or look at maps. the memory of the first time i made you laugh sits shotgun in my car. it held my hand when i hit rock bottom.