“It Was Good, And Nothing Good Is Truly Lost. It Stays Part Of A Person, Becomes Part Of Their Character.

“I never had the opportunity to Thank you. To thank you, for teaching me the true meaning behind unconditional love. To love passionatley and whole-heartedly. For teaching me to see love in the smallest things. To see the love in soft smiles and gentle touches. In sleepy conversations, over morning coffees and laughing untill your stomach hurts, during late-night dinners. And seeing the smallest changes in yourself; like waking up and never wanting to stay in bed (unless he’s in it.) and looking at each day as an opportunity to love more. Learning to love the smallest parts of someone; like the way he says your name or how your heart dances to the rhythm of his laugh. Putting that love over anger - even when you can feel your blood boiling under your skin. Understanding that ‘love’ doesn’t mean no problems, rather problems that always come with talked-out solutions. Giving your time, to the thing that means the most and always showing that you are forever grateful; for the home you’ve found in two eyes and a soft heartbeat. Making sacrifices that that no longer feel like loses; for the one that matters most. For teaching me to love without expectations, but most importantly - without resentment. Understanding, that the one you love most….doesn’t always love you too. And how you cannot let your heart be filled with anger because of the things he can’t change. That your heartbeats in ways you cannot explain; for the people you did not choose to love. How if you truley love someone, it doesn’t always matter if they love you back. Because his happiness means the most and if happiness is her, then you were happy enough for him. And for teaching me to learn to love again, even after all your love has been drained away. To know how it’s supposed to feel, when you see everything you’ve ever wanted - become the only thing you’ll ever need.”

— Hard learned lessons - excerpt from the book I’ll never write

I only ever want the simple and small things. A bowl of fruit. To exist comfortably. To be accepted. To be loved. To eat nice food. To laugh as much as I can.

“There was a time this wasn’t toxic. There was a time you were my safe habour in a storm, the lighthouse leading me home. There was a time your arms kept me warm when my body was empty and cold. There was a time that your smile could dig me out of the grave I had dug for myself. Somewhere along the line you became the storm, you were cold and cruel and suddenly you were in the dirt digging with me. I don’t know where this went wrong, maybe there is only so much of my crazy that you could take, maybe you liked the idea of loving a sad girl but the reality never lived up to the expectation. As good as it was when you loved me, the feeling of an empty bed when you left was so gut-wrenching that I wish I never knew what it was to be loved by you.”

— Once upon a time…

“Even at your best you will never be right for the wrong person.”

— Unknown

that girl lifestyle

i still remember how our first conversation started