ANNYA: don't say that, you will ALWAYS matter
ANNYA: i'm not perfect, and you're not stupid. ppl make mistakes, and i just...
ANNYA: yes, if you're not in your dorm and you tell me where you are, i'll come to you
ANNYA: just pls, kian, tell me you're ok
KIAN: how could byou yeven say that???
KIAN: does othat mean you fzorgive me.......
KIAN: i'm fine jusot srachin at one ovf the frat houses for the night cause i hdont think zi can wahlk home
KIAN: bnut 'di rather jbe izn my own drosm wnould ybou come gket me??
ANNYA: are you in your dorm room, kian?
ANNYA: and i don't hate you
KIAN: what doews it jmatter??
KIAN: yes ybou dco
KIAN: bi can ese it in uar eyes everytime u look at me
KIAN: thalt is on the off cnhace that you acxtually do look qat me i know you trxy to avoid me on purpose
◈ yeeyee
when kian gets past the point of drunk, teetering ever so lightly on hammered, he gets a little clingy, a little giggly, and a lot honest. it’s really a recipe for disaster. somewhere in his foggy mind, he knows this and his subconscious is screaming at him to just go home. but he doesn’t listen. “can i stay with you tonight?” he practically whines, arms wrapped around moonsu’s neck as he hangs off of him. he knows he’ll say yes, but he pouts anyway. it’s dangerous to be in this position when you’re not an entirely honest person, but it’s freeing. which is something that kian very rarely feels these days. “we can do whatever you want.” he sings, pressing his nose against the boy’s cheek. he kisses the soft skin there then presses another to the corner of his mouth.
dropping one hand from around his neck, he lets it trail over his chest then circles around and hops on moonsu’s back without permission. “you’re so nice, susu.” he compliments, nuzzling his nose behind the other’s ear. “i wish you weren’t, i wish you were mean. then maybe i wouldn’t feel so bad every time we’re together.” he confesses, closing his eyes as he leans all of his body weight on him. “everything would be a lot easier if you just hated me.” he mumbles. “i’m not supposed to feel bad, i never do. but you’re just so … nice.” he repeats again. “stop being nice, seriously.” he chastises. “so when i hurt you, i won’t feel guilty.”
when you try to come up with smth witty to say cause you’re a tru comedian but end up floppin HARD! literally smash that heart if you can relate! but hey i’m mikhia or if you’re into nicknames then you can call me mikki i honestly truly don’t...... care lmao? i haven’t been in a roleplay in a long time because like school fuckin sucked my dudes but i recently turned eighteen and i’m now ready to hang ten ZZDMDKF! k anyway lemme get on with it i’m tiredt! if you prefer plotting on discord or just wanna talk some shit then you can find me at YUKHEI’S WHITE GIRL LAUGH #5355 but without the caps! i don’t actually know if that makes a difference but anyways.....
messy info dump
* ↪ jeon jungkook. he/him. cismale. ╱ i thought i saw kian ko getting questioned by the police. the nineteen year old is in their second year at west bridge studying film production. there’s a rumor that everyone there always called them the cataclysmic because they were beguiling but at the same time morose. do you think they had something to do with her death? + chipped nail polish, morning light peeking through the curtains, soft curls parted down the middle, blinking neon signs, fresh tattoos, shattered iphone screens, missed calls at two in the morning, and long drives down isolated roads.
growing up it was just kian and his dad living in a big, isolated house at the end of a road where no one knew each other. he never knew what happened to his mom, but he also never asked. him and his dad didn’t have the kind of relationship for that; him and his dad were never close enough to have personal conversations.
the two of them only spoke like ten words to each other by the time the boy was ten and had been completely raised by a nanny. but then everything changed when she just didn’t show up one day and his dad decided to play the role of a parent for once.
he was shit at it and constantly yelled at kian, even pushing him around and smashing his toys just cause he felt like it. he didn’t understand what he had ever done wrong and a part of him thought that this was just how every parent treated their child.
when he was twelve, he ended up finding an old camcorder and instantly fell in love with filming everything around him. it all looked so beautiful through a lens, untainted. but he was young and kids can be dumb. he ended up recording over one of the tapes inside and when his dad found out, he completely lost it.
apparently kian had taped over an old home video of his mom, one that his dad watched frequently, and it became the catalyst for events that would change his life forever. it was the first time his dad was ever physically abusive towards him.
he doesn’t really have much memory of the event, but he does remember being at the top of the stairs filming before everything went black. he found out later that his dad had pushed him down the stairs, but it was ruled an accident and he was put back into his care after he healed.
things only got worse from there with his dad constantly telling him that he was a monster, that no one would ever love him, and that no one would care if he died. these things clawed their way down his throat and found a home in his lungs until he felt like he could no longer breathe.
when he got older and a little colder, he started fighting back and it ended up just being a big brawl between him and his dad all the time. they would literally beat the shit out of each other multiple times a week until, suddenly, it all stopped when he was sixteen.
his dad remarried and the woman brought in two younger children. then, suddenly, his dad was someone else entirely. it was like the bitter old man had been replaced by the most wholesome being in the world. he acted like a completely different person and it pissed kian off. but it also inspired him in a way.
he changed his personality too, became the picture perfect son who played sports and got good grades. he held up his image well, but the monster his father always told him he was never went away. it just waited under his facade until the perfect time to strike.
it was after his first real girlfriend that he decided he liked hurting people. he liked breaking their hearts because it made him feel like a god. he was the perfect boyfriend, dating girls and boys and anyone that was dumb enough to fall for his tricks. he would make sure that he was all they thought about, that they were sure they were in love with him, and then he would rip the rug right out from under them.
nothing made him happier than watching them cry and beg him not to do this. they looked so ugly and broken and he couldn’t think of anything more beautiful. he liked seeing people at their most vulnerable, got off on it.
it was around that same time that he also got into drugs, cocaine specifically, and it helped to perk him up; it helped to make him not look so dead inside. he was a great actor, but the eyes are the window to the soul and his held nothing inside.
when he left for college, he constructed a backstory where he was the son of a pastor who graduated as valedictorian and blushed when complimented. none of that was true, but it didn’t matter. everyone would believe him and would never question it.
he stuck to his story, but things changed when he met annya at freshman orientation. things were different with her and he knew he was fucked, but he let it happen anyway. she brought out a side to him that he thought was long gone and he almost started to believe he could be loved.
but then his dad showed up one day letting him know that he was divorcing kian’s step-mother and it was obvious that he had turned back into the man that would push his son around and make him feel worthless.
so kian regressed as well. he became ugly and cruel towards the one person that made him feel alive and, because of that, she left. it was a hard blow but it brought him back to reality. he couldn’t afford love so he knew it was better off that way, no matter if it hurt.
so he was back to his original plan. he started dating anyone and everyone, cheating on them, breaking their hearts in the worst possible way, all while holding up his perfect little church boy persona.
k so i wanted to add more to this but i’m just so over it i’m too tired to think atm lmao! but a few other things are that he’s a part of a frat and he does play sports. he probs mostly plays more physical sports to get out his aggression like football, lacrosse, hockey, etc so rivals/teammates come thru! i’m sure y’all can tell that i’m a sucker for angst so hit me with that good shit ya? i don’t have a page for specific wanted connections so if you wanna brainstorm or whateva then just GIVE THIS POST A LIKE and i’ll come to you or add me on discord and we can plot there!
What I am telling you, before you begin my story, is this: I crave truth. And I lie.
Tana French
© GAIN | Editing allowed, do not crop logo. (1, 2, 3, 4)
SEOJUN: i’ll stop being responsible as soon as you finish studying 😛 SEOJUN: i really really really think so SEOJUN: pls, i know you’d never lie to me… and i’m your roomie so of course i’d know if you were 😄 SEOJUN: try me!! anything means anything SEOJUN: would you really wanna do that???? with me???? SEOJUN: skipping class isn’t something i like to do, but… that sounds like a lot of fun :(
KIAN: look at my face..... thats the face of a man whos on his last leg i cant study any longer junnie i just cant KIAN: ok mr. anything means anything but dont say i didn’t warn you about it bein dangerous territory KIAN: ya ofc..... why wouldn’t i? KIAN: then make an exception KIAN: just for me 😋
ARIA: running on no sleep and the taco bell dude is clearly taking his sweet time
KIAN: u best have gotten me smth KIAN: otherwise? ur gettin blocked
MINJI: nothing but nice ?? you must be joking right ?? MINJI: consider yourself lucky i never talked about what you did to seojunnie MINJI: i’ve got morals, and you don’t. keep ur thoughts to yourself
KIAN: completely serious KIAN: you wouldn’t cause u know it would hurt him & u wouldn’t wanna hurt ur closest friend....... would u? KIAN: idk minnie...... kinda seemed like there might be a blurred line when it comes to ur morals babe