Jesus Can Multiply And Change Form.

Jesus can multiply and change form.

Is Jesus a slime?

God is a shut-in.

God, as we discussed previously in a civilised and polite manner, IS A COWARD. He resides in his extravagant abode consisting of a singular golden gate (lame, gold isn't a even a good metal) and some clouds (made of water, kvass is better (i am not an addict)). He also has some angels made of eyes (lame, i made a biblically accurate alien garfield-coloured octopus, so im way better) and some dudes that were too unsinful to be with the hot guys in hell and their awesome muscles capable of throwing me into Satan's church of enlightenment on how to effectively sin to get more men. Where was i? oh yeah GOD IS A COWARD, HE REMAINS IN HIS CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF ELDRITCH ANGELS LAND AS HE COWERS BEFORE HUMANITY. DO YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME GOD WENT DOWN TO HUMANITY? JESUS. He is whatever he is. Jesus got nailed by probably muscular dudes onto a giant T aka a cross. In other words God was murdered and people didn't stop making fun of his death even after he abused the revival glitch and patched it, so I couldn't do it. So what does he do about his death? Remain in the not so damned sky, he trapped himself there as he already experienced getting absolutely murdered by shirtless muscular roman dudes and fears it happening again. COWARD. I WOULD TAKE ON THOSE DUDES WITH THE POWER OF YEAST INFECTION. THOSE NERDS HAVE NO CLUE WHAT A LIFETIME OF CONSUMING GLUTEN DOES TO A MORTAL BEING, THEY ONLY JUST BEGAN THE CREATION OF GARLIC BREAD. GOD REMAINS THERE IN THE SKY, EATING COTTON CANDY CLOUDS AS HE KNOWS WE HAVE IT BETTER, HE FEARS GETTING DOWN TO US AS HE KNOWS, HE BLOODY KNOWS WE WILL KILL AGAIN. HE SHUT HIMSELF OFF FROM THE ENTIRE WORLD, WHY DO YOU THINK NO ONE HAS SEEN HIM IN MILLENNIA?!?!? HE IS A DAMN NEET. PROBABLY WATCHES ROMCOM ANIME TO HIDE THE FACT HE AIN'T GETTING LOVED BY HIS OWN CHILDREN. HE QUIT HIS JOB AS GOD AND REMAINED AS A NEET. MY PROOF OF THIS IS I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY ESTROGEN AND BLåHAJ as well as skort go spinny and shork and and aaaand im getting sidetracked arent i. Ahem as I'm politely criticising God I will also add the fact that he is probably hiding because I wanna rid off the flesh he bestowed me by peeling it off like a banana and letting the skeleton free from the meaty prison, also like a banana. But unlike banana, bread. Bread is said to be the body of Christ. Do you know who that is? GOD. I AM DEVOURING FLESH OF GOD.