- You Want Some Decorations On Your Van?

don't look 'em in the eye

Doctor calls you with your bloodwork results and just says “I’m really mad at you” and then hangs up

(So horny it’s not even eliciting a physical reaction anymore) now draw them in a strained but ultimately polite professional relationship

Mike Berkofsky - Jane Birkin Wearing a Dress by Jinty (19 Magazine 1970)

youre impaled on my awesome tusks

somebody stop me i'm smoking the track i'll giggity lois and make more sons of the mask

you ever get assigned something as a project in school and for the rest of your life you have a strange attachment to the subject. in like seventh grade i had an assignment to make a poster about the elemental propoerties of osmium and to this day everytime someone mentions it im like 'YEAAAAAAH OSMIUM MENTIONED!!!!!!!!'

scientists have been asking for decades: is it gayer to put your whole mouth around the opening of the beer bottle and get a little neck too like a cheap whore or to daintily bring your lips to the rim and sip as if a little hummingbird?