Recently Someone Rolled Their Eyes And Told Me Everyone's Neurodivergent These Days. I Once Spent 5 Hours

recently someone rolled their eyes and told me everyone's neurodivergent these days. i once spent 5 hours zoned out staring at my new wallpaper slowly peeling off the wall. i was too burned out to get up and fix it but it was bothering me so i couldn't leave it, either. i just sat there and watched the paper crawl downwards.

that whole time i was thinking about how fucked up the show danny phantom is because i think the kid might have actually died? or is a lich? or maybe exists in a limbo between two worlds? he was just 14! does he ever get to actually pass on? did his particles fry?

the wallpaper remained half-peeled for 3 weeks. also, i have only seen like 3 episodes of danny phantom.

something my therapist and i have talked a lot about is that kids with mental illness and/or neurodivergence almost always know, even before the diagnosis. we just know. we can tell there's something ... different about us. i don't know how to explain it. a sense of displacement, of alienation. like everyone else is getting secret, important messages - and we just can't. like the floor is a laser grid, and everyone else is a gymnast, and we can't even see where the heat is coming from; only feel it cut off the parts of our life that someone-else would have had easy access to.

cut off like how danny died(?) in the portal, i mean. its like you become... not a person, but not a corpse. something like that changes you.

i thought i was possessed. real-life full-of-demons possessed. it was the way i was raised. there was no other explanation for it, because i did the math - i saw how people talked about neurodivergence, and i was at-once "not bad enough" and also "too broken." therefore (obviously) i had let an evil spirit into my body. i guess that's kind of like danny phantom too?

i keep thinking about how when people are experiencing mental pain, they often secretly wish something horrible would happen to them, just for the "excuse". depression and anxiety are some of the more common mental illnesses, so they're treated like a small wound. like if you slap a bandaid on the situation, that person will just-pull-through. they are not seen as life-altering, much less life-threatening. they're a minor inconvenience, like needing glasses or being unable to process dairy. everyone is depressed. being neurodivergent these days is kind of the same.

if everyone is special, nobody is. it's kind of annoying, because - if it's true so many of us exist like this, why not make the world a better place for us? why not have more access to things like affordable testing, learning centers, and outreach programs? why not make adult life more manageable for those of us still struggling? why not acknowledge that adhd medication has been scarce for a while now, and that it is absolutely horrible that it's forcing thousands of people into a sudden and non-prescribed withdrawal? if there's nothing really different about us - why isn't the world shaped to fit us? why would we have to "just get over it"?

and why did his parents even have a death tube in their basement to begin with? the kid is obviously intelligent, just tell him "hey, this is a death tube, it's got death inside of it." maybe put a sign up. or safety railings! that shit was obviously not osha-compliant.

in the show, they frame it as danny's mistake, and then he has to deal with the consequences.

i haven't been able to eat anything but my safe foods in weeks. in my monthly "check in" meeting with my boss, he said - you just seem distractable. like, easily. there are no guardrails on my life. either i keep myself in a stranglehold of perpetual control, or it dissolves in the rain. it's a joke with my friends - well, you know her. she'll forget. it's a joke, and it's funny, and i'm laughing. my boss wrinkles his brow. you're a perfect worker, but you miss that 5%.

it would be nice if everyone did understand, is the thing.

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killv-oid

1 year ago

meant to be yours from heathers the musical

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killv-oid

2 months ago

do you have any webcomic suggestions?

Oh, do I! :D I'll keep the descriptions short, otherwise I'll talk about each of these for a million years.

Warrior Cats:

The Average Adventures of Genericpaw - parody comic. But watch out.

The Exiled - Fishpaw. Murder mystery.

Follow Your Heart - Sootpaw. Personal drama.

Meandering - River. Slowburn romance.

Saltburn's Clan - Saltburn. Pinepaw's cool butch lesbian aunt.

Convocations - Elkmask. Political drama. Biggest inspiration to The Dog Star.

Other:

Wilde Life - supernatural dramedy.

Wychwood - magical post-apocalypse.

The Glass Scientists - Jekyll & Hyde retelling.

Tiger, Tiger - swashbuckling magic adventure.

Little Tiny Things - French slice of life.

Paranatural - ghost fighting teens. Also, the inspiration for PATFW's "journal style". Also, Hijack.

Phantomarine - magical ghost adventures.

Awkward Zombie - gamer comic strips.

Sakana - fish market dramedy. Yuudai.

Skin Deep - cryptids comedy.

Dumbing of Age - daily college dramedy. Gave me the worst hyperfixation of my life.

The Order of the Stick - D&D adventure. My favorite comic ever created.

How To Be a Werewolf - werewolf drama.

Fairmeadow - fantasy hippie drama.

Lackadaisy - bootlegger cats. You've seen the animated pilot.

The Property of Hate - TV head guy.

Too Familiar - magical animal companions.

I'm With You - goat people romance.

The Carpet Merchant of Konstantiniyya - sweet vampire romance.

XKCD - it's XKCD.

Vainglorious - dragon adventures.

Bybloemen - demons committing financial fraud. Gorgeous artwork.

Bicycle Boy - amnesiac in a post-apocalypse.

Novae - supernatural historical romance.

Never Satisfied - magical teen drama. It's on hiatus right now.

Monster Pulse - teens with magic organs.

Children of the Light - magic squirrel drama.

To Catch A Star - sparklewolves.

Cursed Lights - magical animal people drama.

What Lurks Beneath - cat cult.

Rabbit Hole - bunny cult.

Villtur & Sarx - sci fi manga.

Best of Bad Decisions, The Doe of Deadwood, Repeat, I Didn't Know - Songdog comics. Probably the most influential creator on my comics.

Crushed Olive Branch - Shadowhunters gayboys.

Broken Crown - magic kingdom adventure.

Sleight of Hand - Fallout gayboys.

What Happens Next - internet teen thriller.

Golden Shrike - deer adventure.

The Pale - Twin Peaks adjacent.

Un/Bound - magical road trip.

Apocalyptic Horseplay - modern horseman of the apocalypse.

There are many more, of course, but these are some of my favorites, and the ones I could remember at the moment.

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killv-oid

2 years ago

i lowkey ship tumblr ♠ twitter now

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killv-oid

1 year ago

A digital drawing of, from left to right, Margo Kess, Pavitr Prabhakar, Miles Morales, and Gwen Stacy from Across The Spiderverse in punk clothing. Margo is wearing a Nova Twins shirt, a purple diamond-patterned jacket, two green studded belts, black zipper pants, and black shoes with ankle spikes. She has a blue star earring and blue eyeshadow as well. Pavitr is wearing a blue cropped denim jacket with a Death By Fungus patch on one arm, a Riot Peddlers shirt, and black pants with a Rai Ko Ris patch on the knee. "सरकारज़म," which translates to "Sarkasm" in Marathi, is written in purple across both his jacket and shirt. He also wears a gold bangle on each wrist, and has Kohl under his eyes. Miles is wearing a black and white striped crop top with a black jacket adorned in various pins and patches overtop, as well as baggy jeans painted with the names of various punk bands. He also wears a black choker and cross earrings. Gwen is wearing a grey sweater with a red vest overtop, as well as a long green plaid skirt, black boots, and a black choker, necklace, and belt. A braided cord the colours of the Trans flag hangs from her belt. They are all talking and laughing amongst each other. On the far right, Hobie Brown stands in his regular clothing, looking at everyone else with surprise.

Miles Morales and Hobie Brown having a conversation, with Miles still in his previously described outfit. Miles is saying "I was worried you'd be mad at us for, like, stealing your look". Hobie, smiling, replies "I don't believe in intellectual property."

Punks

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killv-oid

1 year ago

ML Season 5 finale in a nutshell:

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killv-oid

2 months ago

pls hear me out onthis ship.please

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killv-oid

1 year ago

So I went to read the Kids Online Safety Act, thinking that it couldn't possibly be as bad as what people are making it out to be, I mean I'm a lawyer and expert in statutory interpretation, it can't be that bad, right?

Oh no. KOSA IS that bad. It will literally eradicate queer people online.

The bill says that a "covered platform" - broadly defined as "anything on the internet a minor might use" which is literally the entire fucking internet- has a "duty" to protect minors from anything that might harm them, including "sexual exploitation" and other undefined terms

It also gives state attorneys general the ability to sue to enforce it.

So I Went To Read The Kids Online Safety Act, Thinking That It Couldn't Possibly Be As Bad As What People

So here's exactly what's gonna happen:

Wacko republicans, as they've been doing with increasing force this year and last, are going to sue any and every website in existence, saying that the mere existence of LGBT people online constitutes sexual abuse of minors. And websites are gonna be so afraid of not doing the most that they'll just axe all LGBT everything.

Like. Republicans have been calling all LGBT people groomers and child molesters for years. The lead Republican literally admitted this bill will be used to attack trans people.

This bill is BAD bad. I'm appalled that democrats are lining up behind what is clearly a republican Trojan horse to eradicate LGBT people from the entire internet.

Call your senator

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killv-oid

1 year ago

Something I made on my tablet while I was out

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killv-oid

1 year ago

Here it is, lads.

I'm at the Bumble part.

My stomach dropped as soon as I realized this was the moment it was happening. I think we as a fandom know what's coming up next, but I do wanna make sure to ring it up again.

Bumble is violently assaulted by the father of Turtle Tail's kittens, Tom. She is a canonical... "survivor" of domestic violence. "Survivor" because she does not survive.

She is constantly called fat and clumsy through the text on these pages. It is up there with Spottedleaf's Heart as a shockingly insensitive portrayal of a serious, dark issue.

I will be tagging #tw abuse and #tw fatphobia, if you need those things filtered.

Be warned and be safe.

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killv-oid

1 year ago

Longtail is such a funny name it’s like his mom looked at her newborn son and was just… “holy shit that’s a long kitten.” When he’s older she’ll tell him she named him that because she wishes he’ll live long and experience a lot when no it’s just because of her initial reaction.