파티 소녀 ★ 𝖯𝖠𝖱𝖳𝖸 𝖦𝖨𝖱𝖫

;; hoodie season. ⎯⎯ ♡

pairing ! yang jungwon x reader

genre ! fluff

wc ! 0.3k

song rec. ! hoodie season — stray kids

“take off your hoodie.”

jungwon looked at you, puzzled for a moment at your sudden order.

“what?”

“take off your hoodie,” you repeated casually.

“why?”

“because i’m cold,” you smiled innocently.

jungwon sighed, rolling his eyes lightheartedly.

even though he knew you were just being playful, he adored you, especially in times like these—because truth be told, he loved seeing you in his hoodies.

you watched as he removed his hoodie from his body, something which was always so attractive to you. that was one reason you loved receiving his hoodies, though you’d never admit it.

being the gentleman of a boyfriend he was, he helped the hoodie onto you, your head quickly popping out from the fabric, and jungwon’s eyes crinkled into a smile of adoration for you.

once you got the piece of clothing on, you sighed with a grin, more than happy to be in one of his extremely comfortable hoodies.

jungwon quickly looked you up and down, butterflies erupting in his stomach at the sight of you in his clothes, a feeling that never seemed to fade even after all this time. he couldn’t help but lean forward and place a soft and short kiss on your lips with a smile. and once he pulled back, it left you wanting more. you frowned.

noticing your sad state, jungwon chuckled before bringing you closer and kissing you more.

as he pulled back, he continued to leave a few last pecks, not only on your lips again, but also some on your cheeks, nose and forehead.

lost in the moment, even after jungwon pulled away, you were snapped back to reality when his voice started, “better?”

your eyes immediately met his, slightly out of it, “hm?”

“are you still cold?” he clarified.

you paused for a moment as you smiled, “no, i feel much warmer now.”

“good,” he sighed happily with a smirk before adding, “you look cute in my clothes.”

a/n. i’m unfortunately going through a major writer’s block rn for the first time in literal years,, but i managed to push this out. it’s not much but at least i got smth out finally <//3 likes, reblogs and feedback are always appreciated! thank u! <3

CALLING THEM PRETTY BOY

HEESEUNG had just finished getting dressed and was checking himself out on the mirror, making sure he looked alright. “you look pretty,” you come up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist. there’s a fond look in his eyes when he looks at you, raising his brows in satisfaction at your compliment.

“hey, pretty boy,” you call out in a greeting. JAY immediately makes a face, but the closer he gets, the more visible the red on his cheeks is. he wraps you up in his arms, his face in your hair to hide the smile threatening to break out. it’s no use because no matter how much he tries to hide it, you know how much he loves it.

Keep reading

another night, another fic of hyunjin to cry for

DRUNKEN WITH A SENSE OF LOVE | HWANG HYUNJIN.

genre | romance / drunken confessions / fake dating au

synopsis | you and hyunjin got drunk at different times, and you two took care of each other similarly. 

word count | 7.1k+

warning | mentions of insecurity / brief allusion to sexual themes / alcohol and drunkenness  

note | i changed almost everything about this.

Hyunjin has gotten himself etched to the back of your mind, and you genuinely did not like that.

You didn't blame him, though. If anything, you blame yourself for falling so head over heels for him.

For one, Hyunjin couldn’t help who falls in love with him. He couldn’t suppress his overwhelmingly good looks if he tried, which he never did. He enjoyed the positive attention, however shallow they often were. He also couldn’t put a pause on his decent personality, which came as a genuine surprise to you after you got to know him better through this fake dating scheme. You always thought beautiful people harbored the ugliest heart, out of envy and bitterness. Hyunjin wasn’t like that. You didn’t think he was, at least. 

For two, you should have known better than to fall in love with a man leagues above your selection pool. People called it self-degradation, a lack of self-esteem, having no self-worth, and whatnot. You considered it a down-to-earth trait, a reality check, understanding your limits, and whatnot. Hyunjin was a boy you should fall in love with in moderation but never utterly, ardently, absolutely. You were, unfortunately, the latter. 

For three, and this was the stupidest part, you two were temporarily dating. Hyunjin was honest when he approached you and said that his friends, at the ripe age of twenties and pursuing higher education, thought you were good enough to be the butt of a romantic joke. They had challenged him to chase you, get you into a relationship, and break your heart. It was a heinous and, frankly, childish game, but you agreed to it with him for the prize money. 

It was worth it at that time. It was easy money! Who wouldn’t want that? You didn’t feel that way now. Pretending to be in a loving relationship with him has short-term perks but long-term losses. 

Hyunjin was practically in you, etched to the back of your mind, tattooed on the inside of your skin, taken by your bloodied hands to the bottom of your grave. The degree to which your heart dropped for him was unexplainable by yourself. Therefore, having the excuse to go on dates and hold his hands in public, snuggle with him during outings with his friends, and maintain a pleasant friendship with him behind closed doors were great experiences. But when the time comes for separation, you will hurt, not merely over the breakup, but the reminder that he has never felt more for you, that your wonderful experience with him was just an experience.

Clumsy stumbling could be heard outside his apartment, and not a second later came a round of demanding knocks. Hyunjin's head perked up at the noise, his eyes wide in alert at the sudden banging. He looked at the door momentarily before finally looking over to the clock, his brows furrowing slightly at the late time. He waited to check if it could be a drunken stranger approaching the wrong door, but soon enough, another round of aggressive knocks sounded.

Holding the thought that it could just be his roommate, Han Jisung, coming back home late for yet another odd reason, and also praying inwardly that he wouldn't have to spend the night taking care of a loud, obnoxious, and very drunk Jisung, he made his way up and approached the door.

Flinging the door open, Hyunjin did a double-take before his annoyed expression morphed into one of surprise. His arm went slack against the wooden frame of the door, and he took an instinctive step forward when he saw your drunken state—your features were scrunched up in discomfort, your eyes squinted because astigmatism had taken over on your walk to the apartment building, and you were hunched over. You were not at all the way you used to look, not the way he was used to seeing you, which was always so presentable and well put together.

An amused smile appeared on his face as he eyed you up and down, wanting nothing more than to make fun of and tease you even without your ability to form the perfect retorts he has grown to be highly fond of. But you sniffed for a moment and took a step forward. In that exact second, you had Hyunjin doubling over to catch you before you could fall to the floor, concern lining up the crinkles of his eyes as he looked down at you.

"Woah, alright! Let’s stand slowly, okay?" he commanded gently, cooing at your side as if talking to a child. 

His arms curled around your shoulder and waist with a protective grip, and he hoisted your weight by supporting you with his own. Pulling you into the apartment, he shut the door slowly with his feet before returning his attention to you, hoping to bring you to the couch where you could lie down and rest.

“Jeez, babe, how much did you drink?” he laughed, dragging your unresponsive body along with him.

You groaned lowly, trying your best to hold down the acidic taste rushing at the back of your mouth. You wouldn’t know it, but this was not what you had planned for the night. Your friends did their job sending you home safely. Who would have thought you’d leave your apartment shortly after just to stumble to Hyunjin’s home? It was a short distance from your place, but what a miracle you made it without any major accidents! And what a disaster you made it to his home while being high on alcoholic honesty!

You snapped your head up. You were at the perfect angle to stare at his side profile, allowing you the premium shot of his perfect jawline, luscious locks, beautiful lashes, button tip of his nose, and just the most kissable lips you have ever seen. A grimace reached your face. It was an instinctive response. His good looks indeed couldn’t hide even behind the blurriest of eyes. You thought if you lied to your body enough, your mind would follow, so you grimaced whenever you looked at him, hoping to start disliking him. It hasn’t worked. 

"Hwang Hyunjin,” you muttered.

He chuckled. “Yes. That is me."

You gulped, still staring at him. Then, as you lowered your eyes to the floor, you leisurely suggested what’s been on your mind recently, “We should break up."

Of all the things you have done within these few months of him meeting you, including you agreeing to help him lie to his friends about this fake dating challenge to punching someone in the face for shaming his impulsive sex life, which you weren’t surprised he has, this one caught him off guard the most. This one also made him panic. It was fear, like sweaty hands and dry lips, like his mind racing with terrible thoughts, racing with made-up reasons as to why you would want that, racing with every single action he has done that could be counted as a mistake.

"Wh–what? Why do you–why? Why are we breaking up? We are fine. I didn't do anything–did I do something?" Hyunjin stuttered, unconsciously tightening his grip on your body before he let out a gentle but firm whisper, "No."

“I know, I am sorry. I don’t know–I’m just sorry,” you slurred, long stopped looking at him and instead was now leaning your entire weight against him like a wall. Your hands waved about in the air. "You are mad at me, aren't you? Of course–“ you snorted obnoxiously–“it’s a lot of money! I’ll pay you. Break up with me, don’t be mad.”

Hyunjin stared at you as you laughed manically. It sounded choked up, like you’ve got wet coughs prepared in your throat, but he could tell you were far from shedding tears, unlike good ol’ sensitive him, who remained in a state of anxiety and was still trying to process why you brought up separation. It wasn’t time for the fake dating to end. It was nowhere near it! To suggest breaking up so early must mean something was wrong with him, but what was? He couldn’t tell! To think he was just losing his mind over what to do once it was time for this fake relationship to end. 

“Hyunjin,” you called him once when you noticed his silence. Looking up at him, you furrowed your brows and reached up to brush his face clumsily with your hand, pushing your fingertips against his skull. “Hyunjin? Hey. Answer me. Hey. Hello. Hyunjin!”

He leaned away from your aggressive touch, his shoulders relaxing at your playful antics. A smile formed uncontrollably on his lips when you doubled down on smearing your hands all over his face after his dodges. He was left haplessly struggling between missing your direct eyeball pokes and keeping you from falling to the ground. You grinned out loud; he mirrored it, and he didn’t hear the sound of your laughs mixing together because he hears it all the time.

“You are very drunk, [Name],” he managed to comment after grabbing both of your hands and keeping them at his face level. His tight-lipped smile sparkled when you attempted a struggle, like a parent reprimanding their child, then he moved your hands to your face and squeezed your cheeks together. Your lip jutted out in response. He leaned in to kiss your cupid’s bow. “You’re being silly. Let’s get you cleaned up and back to bed.”

The frown on your face made him nervous. His hands slowly slipped from your face, and your hands fell to your sides. You remained silent, and he let the clogs in your brain move. Your thoughts weren’t clear. The only thing you were sure of was that the man standing before you was Hwang Hyunjin, your temporary boyfriend, and you’d spent the whole night trying to drink your feelings for him away. You came to his apartment for a reason—you needed to break up with him for your own good.

“No, I can’t go to bed yet. I have something to do.” You yawned and waved an arm dismissively. You spoke before you finished yawning, leaving your words hanging in the air in slow motion. “I came to tell you something.”

Hyunjin’s hands curled into fists. He let go, tightened them, and let go again to alleviate the sweat gathering at his palms. You were surprisingly hell-bent on the topic, which led him to believe it went beyond a moment of drunkenness. It must have been a conclusion formed long ago, and you have just now mustered the courage to let him know. But why? What did he do? What did he not do? 

He was more than nervous, if there was a word to describe the state of his heart. This was more than a personal problem, which he admittedly still has to work through, but far more significant than himself was you—his feelings for you, his immense affection for you, the fact that he loved you the way you warned yourself not to love him but did anyway. It wasn’t your fault. Your observant eyes, your sincerity, your care for him. It wasn’t your fault. He fell in love with you of his own accord.

If you left him, he would be like a dog without a leash, a dog without an owner. He would wander aimlessly, filled with rage and dread, sniffing every darkened corner for a whiff of your scent. 

“Are you breaking up with me?” he asked meekly. 

You sucked in a deep breath to counter your congested chest, then you shook your head in agreement. “Yes.” 

You were very drunk. He shouldn’t take your words into consideration. “That’s fine,” he said as he stepped toward you, “can we get cleaned up and go to bed anyway? It’s very late.”

“No, I don’t want you touching me anymore.” You stepped back dramatically and hugged yourself into a protective stance. “It’s for the better.” 

He wondered what that meant. Were you repulsed by him? Did you finally realize how disgusting his inability to stay away from sexual and romantic validation was? Were you ashamed to be associated with him because of his impulsive behavior? He was only good for a short time; did you come to that realization? You were too good for him. He always knew that.

Hyunjin retreated his hand from mid-air. His hands met before his abdomen, his fingers immediately picking at each other as he uncomfortably shifted his weight. The corner of his lips arched downward at your rejection, but he tried to keep them neutral so he wouldn’t be influenced into crying. There wasn’t much else he could do with himself if being near you was no longer an option. He looked lost and wronged; he felt so.

“[Name], did I do something?” he asked, rubbing his elbow awkwardly. “Why do you suddenly want to break up with me?”

You blinked at a random space on the wall. Sitting below your sight was a messy square table with unwashed cups, scattered papers, and a closed laptop. Even in a state of haze, you knew they didn’t belong to him. Hyunjin was more organized than that. He told you once it made his school experience much easier to have everything in one place: his computer, which you knew he often kept in his school bag. You sniffed; you knew him like the back of your hand. 

“I can’t tell you,” you replied slowly, not looking at him. “It’s a secret.” 

Hyunjin tilted his head. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise.” 

He sounded convincing, so you gradually moved your eyes to access him. Standing in front of you, timid as a mouse, was Hwang Hyunjin. You knew that, and you knew that your secret was to be kept from him. Yet, somehow, all that did not register once you were engaged in a conversation with him. He was Hyunjin, just a person you were talking to. If he promised not to tell, then it should be fine. 

“You promise?” you asked. 

Hyunjin nodded. “I promise.” 

You pouted with a glare, willing him to waver and show any sign of deception, but he stood his ground and waited for you to expose your deepest and darkest feelings to him. A faint grumble sounded from your mouth. You looked around briefly to check for any eavesdroppers before you walked a few tentative steps toward him, and you confessed, “I’m in love with you.” 

It was like a shot through the heart, and the shot was aimed so successfully that the organ tore off its hinges and fell to his abdomen where his hands fiddled nervously with each other. It may be asking for an exit out of his body, it may be seeking its new owner, or it may come knocking boldly at your mouth and ask to fit inside you. Hyunjin remained perplexed at your confession. The confession had a bitter taste; he wasn’t sure what to make of it or if he deserved it from someone like you. 

“[Name]…” 

“I’m sorry,” you apologized. “I am very in love with you. It’s stupid.” 

He couldn’t tell, but you understood, despite a fogged mind, that letting him know your affection for him was a cause for your demise. Your emotions were in a whirlwind, collecting up the fragments of all the heart pieces you've broken because of Hyunjin and how you had confronted yourself multiple times with your own delusions that this wouldn't be like the movies. He would never fall in love with you just because you two got closer from months of fake dating.

Even then, he was empathetic to your body language, especially how much they mirrored his. His shoulders slumped at how you turned away from him to trail your attention off somewhere safer, where he wasn’t in your sight. Registering his beautiful face was hard for you because you couldn’t have him; processing his existence and your proximity to him was difficult because you could never have him. You turned away from him to further signify to yourself the assumed truth, your trembling fingers pulling at each other to avoid an awkward standstill. 

Hyunjin was etched to the back of your brain. He was overwhelming, and he was far away. Unable to contain the sudden reminder that you were never going to get over him, a rush of tears started to tremble their way up to your eyes. Your face scrunched without remorse, and your head dropped near your shoulders alarmingly quickly that it startled him.

“I love you, I’m so sorry,” you sobbed. It made him panic. “Please break up with me.” 

“Why are we breaking up if you love me, silly?” he forced a laugh once he approached you. 

His lanky arms were clumsy and gentle after he pulled at his sweater sleeves to wipe your tears. They hovered awkwardly over your face, gauging how much strength to use to effectively dry your eyes but not push you any further away from him. He cooed a bunch of nonsense, but they were sweet like sleepy kisses on your hands. Eventually, he cupped your face and wiped your eyes with his thumbs. You let him; he made you laugh when he apologized for using too much force, even though he never did. 

“You don’t love me, Hyunjin,” you muttered. 

“Nonsense,” he retorted within a second, “who said that?”

You didn’t reply, so he stood with his arms raised for a whole minute while you leaned the weight of your head against his palms. He thought it terribly horrific that he ought to remember the shape of your face with his slender fingers because of his inability to sew his skin into yours. If his hands were like superglue, he could be attached to you forever—your face, your features, you, his most favorite thing in the world. His hands would burn, but what of it? Better you scorch him than to never be touched by you at all. 

“Hyunjin,” you called when you were finished zoning out.

“Mhm?” 

“I love you. I’m sorry,” you said. “I’m so ugly.” 

Growing up being valued for his beautiful features taught him to devalue it. He didn’t care for it. He wouldn't cry about it if he were to earn a permanent scar across his face. Yet, even then, if he were to have one, he was sure people would rave about how the scar ruined his face rather than talk about how he obtained it. Except for you. You’d ask about it, like you always asked everything about him. 

The kind of person you were, his most favorite person in the world—you were detailed like that, and you made him feel an essence of humanity others didn’t. With you, he wasn’t ethereal, he wasn’t a God, he wasn’t an angel fallen to Earth. He didn’t have to be because you never put him on some miraculous pedestal. He was just Hwang Hyunjin; his favorite food is his mother’s cooking, he makes clumsy mistakes and looks funny when he does, and he enjoys making art. 

Not a model, not God’s favorite, not pretty. Just a boy, and he’s in love with you.

“Okay,” he said, “I’m ugly too.” 

He didn’t deny your false claims; you were the prettiest he had ever known, but only he needed to know that. When there comes a time for him to praise and worship your physical body, he will. For now, there wasn’t anything much he wanted to say in return. Just that he was the same as you. 

Your souls didn’t collide that way, obviously. You two were completely different people with varying hobbies and friend groups. However, Hyunjin was willing to chase you like Hell to meet where you were. There wasn’t anything he wanted to be if he couldn’t be it with you. Whatever you are, he is.

There was another long pause. Hyunjin patiently waited, tender eyes concentrated on each crevice of your face as he stroked your stained cheeks with his thumb. You didn’t say anything more, only slapping your hands over his and pulling them from your face. He thought you were moving away, but you took a step forward instead and dove into his arms. You hugged him around his neck, hanging off him like a sloth. He chuckled, swaying you side to side. You were tired, he knew. 

“It’s getting late, baby,” he whispered, leaning back to watch your closed eyes and laughing. He ran a hand through your hair multiple times, getting a clearer view of your face. “Let’s clean up and go to bed, okay?”

You groaned and muttered in response. He didn’t hear what you said. He kept sweeping your hair back. Supporting you with his weight, you were heavy, but he didn’t mind. You wouldn’t be able to change your clothes by yourself, so he would help you. It’d be sloppy and slow, and he wouldn’t mind. You would take up most of the bed, sprawled out without a clue that you weren’t sleeping in your apartment. Your body heat would scratch up a fever in him, and he wouldn’t mind. He enjoyed taking care of you. 

Staring at him as he stroked your hair, you pouted before uttering three familiar words, “I love you.” 

Hyunjin smiled. Whatever you are, he is. He kissed your nose and your eyes. He told you he loves you too.

It was one of those nights when Hyunjin couldn’t spend time with you, and you were unreasonably disappointed about it.

You slouched atop the couch you got at a flea market, which Hyunjin had to convince you to get after repeatedly reassuring you that there wouldn’t be any actual fleas hiding in the creases. This uncomfortable position resulted from five hours of continuous mumbling about how you should not be upset that Hyunjin didn’t choose to spend the night with you, which he had done the past few weeks. He has been somewhat clingy lately, and you couldn’t imagine why. You thought your act was good. There was no way his friends doubted you. 

This could be the calm before the storm. Even though you two had concocted a detailed timeline for your fake dating, you wouldn’t be surprised if Hyunjin abruptly cut it short. If that was true, his current sweetness was nothing more than a buildup to a dramatic and convincing breakup. 

Pouting in dismay, you rolled up the bag of chips and reached for the tea table beside you, your fingertips wiggling to graze past the black binder clip you used to keep the plastic bag sealed. Amid your frustrated groaning, still refusing to get your ass off the couch even after more than ten seconds of struggling, the doorbell suddenly rang, and coming after that were loud bangs at your door.

A shiver ran down your spine as you snapped your head toward the direction of the noise, your brows rising abruptly at the fearful intrusion. Slowly throwing your chip bag on the table, you stood up and tip-toed your way over to the door where you pressed your hands to the wooden surface and carefully looked through the peephole.

A gasp caught in your throat when you saw Hyunjin’s face standing just a few inches away from the circle as if leaning against the door for support. You immediately moved out and unlocked your door, swinging it open to reveal him fully. Taking a good look at his face before he started to throw his little drunken tantrum—messy hair, concentrated brows, droopy eyelids, and a general look of discomfort—you concluded that he definitely has been downing more shots than he could handle.

“What happened to you?” 

You stepped up to put your hands on either side of his arm, carefully bringing him into your apartment. He stumbled with most of his weight straining on your shoulder. There were so many stutters in his steps that you almost dragged him into a fall with you on your way to the couch. After setting him down, he snorted at the cushy feeling of your couch. It took him a while to process the new environment, and then he arched his neck to find you. 

Hyunjin could barely make out your face. He couldn’t even be sure if he went to your apartment, but subconsciously, he could tell he was at your place. He felt it in your timid touches just now, and whatever scent he whiffed out of the air, it smelt like you. Licking his lower lip as his worries slowly faded away and his attention—as much as he could muster—returned, he mumbled a string of incoherent noises under his breath before he, much to your palpitating heart’s dismay, pulled you onto the couch next to him. 

He got on top of you; his legs had to bend in weird ways to accommodate the small couch, and he placed his palms on either side of your head to trap you under him. You felt heat forming on your cheeks as you shrunk beneath his shadow, your eyes widening at the proximity. Hyunjin has never done this before. The closeness wasn’t new, but the position of it was. Being under him was an unbelievable feeling. He looked beautiful, and his toned muscles became more visible by supporting his own weight. How your thoughts were smeared! You doubted your body would forget how well he could cage you in. 

Hyunjin stared at you with a low, drunken hum. Then, suddenly, he leaned down to meet your face. 

“[Name],” he started, lowering his head tiredly to your shoulder, “you wanted to break up with me?”

You blinked up at the ceiling, confused, but you figured it could be the alcohol talking for him, so you chose to disregard all the questions that popped into your head. Holding out your arms to push against his chest, you attempted to sit up. “I don’t want to break up with you, Hyunjin.”

He seemed to be processing your answer as he allowed you to set him aside and give yourself more space. You sat quietly next to him, letting him have the time to think over what he wanted to say. The thoughtful pout on his face told you it was difficult for him to use his brain, but it looked cute enough that you almost took a picture to tease him about it once he got sober. You wondered if his response would be nonsense as well.

“Why do you want to break up with me?” he whispered, causing you to sigh. He hasn’t heard you, after all. His lips were pursed into a frown, and his eyes were squinted to show that he was very close to leaking a few tears down his cheeks, but you couldn’t read between the lines and realize what his despair meant. Hands fiddling with the hem of his shirt, he abruptly turned to you and sniffed. “You can’t do that to me. I won’t–I won’t let you do that to me.” 

You tilted your head to the side, your brows constantly furrowed. Where was he getting this idea from? You tried to recall any off-handed comments you made. Still, they were primarily directed elsewhere and never at your fake relationship. You’ve never said anything bad about him, not to him, and never behind his back. There wasn’t anything outstandingly mean to say anyway, so what sprung this on? 

Returning to reality, your head faintly shook as you looked up at Hyunjin to ask his drunken state about the reason behind this outburst. Your eyes widened instead when you saw he had taken his shirt off, the lump of fabric discarded on the floor carelessly. Heat blossomed at the base of your neck, and you felt your joints sour in panic; seriously, what sprung this on! This was a much bigger issue than drunkenness! 

When you noticed his hands reaching to the belt of his jeans, you immediately lunged toward him and circled his wrists to stop his movements. Your panic became a surprised concern at his need to strip naked in your apartment. You doubted he wanted to show you his body. Even if he did, this wasn’t how you wanted to do it. 

Moving his hands away, you urged, “No. We’re not doing that.”

“No, I have to! I have to!” 

He snatched his hands away from yours and dove to unbuckle his belt again. His movements grew increasingly frustrated the more you blocked his attempt to remove his pants. You were annoying, but he wasn’t angry at you. He was scared. He wasn’t getting what he wanted, and he thought you might leave him if he didn’t show you what he could offer. It scared him that you didn’t want to see him whole, so eventually, he began to sob. 

“I have to show you, [Name]. Please let me!” Hyunjin whined, hands tugging harshly at each other by his chest.

“You don’t have to show me anything,” you assured as you grabbed a few tissues from the tea table. You dabbled softly at his eyes. “Come on, let’s put your clothes back on.”

Tears rolled down his cheeks like knives against your skin. He felt uncomfortable at this unfamiliar sequence. Things usually go smoothly after he reveals himself. Nobody has ever refused to see him, so why did you? What about himself was so repulsive that you couldn’t take one look at his bare skin? Why didn’t you love him back? 

“No.” he slurred, then paused to catch his breath. 

The moment of calm was gone too soon. His hands reached up to ruffle his hair in a frenzy. His heart hammering against his chest, yet his brain wasn’t sane enough to understand what the sudden panic was about, just that it had something to do with you. That obliviousness, as a result, was making him even more agitated.

“You need to love me again!” he exclaimed, eyes brimming with unknown tears. “People love me when I take my clothes off. You need to love me again!” 

A puff of air slowly made its way out of your half-parted lips. You could feel the stretching of your heartstrings. Hyunjin cried as he shrank into himself, his arms going around his cold body for a sense of comfort, and the sight toyed with your head by sending waves of deep anguish like mere laps of the ocean. The feeling deranged you—to realize Hyunjin experiences such a level of hopelessness and loneliness was heartbreaking. More importantly, you felt ignorant of his problems. You should have been a better friend, perhaps even a better lover.

“Hey,” you called out gently as you scooted toward him. You brought one hand up to his face to direct his eyes to you. You smiled softly when you found that he was opening his squinted eyes to stare back. “I’m going to get something, so wait here for me, okay?”

He sniffed, tasting the tears rolling down his mouth, and nodded. You rubbed his cheek with your thumb, ever so gingerly placing a hand at the small of his back, hoping to calm him down, but it turned out Hyunjin had a thought of his own. After feeling the warmth of your hand, he took it as a sign that you wanted to hug him, so he obliged immediately by wrapping his arms around your torso and putting his head on your shoulder.

You breathed a small chuckle when he made weird noises after finding a space at the crook of your neck. The transition from him throwing a tantrum to having a mini panic attack to being the clingiest person you have ever met was amusing. As was the transition from your mind being filled with annoyance and confusion to having your feelings torn into shreds to breathing out a chuckle. It was entertaining, and the fact that Hyunjin could bring out so many different aspects of your emotions was undeniably endearing.

He was that kind of person. He has always been. More than beautiful, he was expressive, selfless, and tender-minded. Watching him allowed you to live an emotional life vicariously. All the things you ignored in the past because of mental stress were repainted in colors by his hands. The movie you never watched, the ice cream you never tried, the districts you never visited, and the fireworks show you never stayed for—everything meant something to Hyunjin, so everything meant something to you. 

To him, love was a grave of sacrifices. Of his time, his space, his body, and his mind. He was willing to give, and he has given you all except one. You wouldn’t know any of it. 

You moved to the back of the couch, cautiously pressing your back up against the edge. Hyunjin followed you, shifting his position so he lay stuffed against your chest with your arms around his shoulders. His fingers played with each other shyly on top of his bare chest as he looked around your apartment absentmindedly. He couldn’t register anything but the fabric of your clothes and how small you made him feel. 

He finally looked at you after a moment. His cries had long ceased and left only trails of dry tears on his dearest cheeks. With his eyelashes still wet, glittering beautifully in the air, he blinked, his eyes widening after he found out you had been looking down at him. Suddenly, he grinned childishly with a hint of sun hidden in his smile. “What are you looking at?”

You hummed, finding Hyunjin utterly irresistible even with his tear-stained cheeks and slurred laughter. He was all messy and puzzling, but your heart pushed against itself to give him space to stay inside. “I’m looking at you, silly.” 

“Oh, you’re looking at me.” He giggled, covering half his face with his hands and shutting his eyes shyly. He squirmed around in your arms, but not once did he move far enough to not feel you against him. When he was done, he returned back to the original position, and he peeked an eye through the gap between his fingers. He laughed. “ I am looking at you too.”

“I know you are,” you said, fingers threading through his feathery locks with serenity, and a smile so heartwarming that Hyunjin couldn’t help but focus his sight on it.

“Why?” he asked, his eyes shaky.

You pursed your lips together and shrugged. “I can’t tell you. It is a secret.”

Hyunjin’s gaze hardened naively, a gasp ripping through his throat as he leaned back against your hand. “Tell me! I promise I won’t tell anyone else.”

“You promise?” 

“I promise!” he exclaimed, sitting up slightly and bumping his forehead against your chin. He burst into a fit of giggles then, rubbing his forehead for a while before reaching the same hand out to touch your chin sloppily. “I’m sorry, I hit your face.”

“It's okay,” you said, your thumb soothing against the spot he had bumped into you. “But you promise me you can keep a secret? It’s very important!”

He nodded eagerly. “I promise!”

“Okay,” you said as you looked up at the sky, pretending to think. “The reason why I am looking at you is really simple. It is because I love you.”

You glanced back down at him to find him looking at you in astonishment. He licked his lower lip. His mind cleared a little for the first time, and he felt all of the universe that was your body pressed close to him. Beyond that, there were more minor things. Your heart beat faster than his, making him chase after you like a madman; the warmth of your skin equated to the warmth he manually cultivated in his bed by stacking multiple blankets together, an attempt to replicate your presence at night; your soft voice, going through his blurry ears, sounded like the subconscious voice he hears all the time. Maybe his subconscious was all just you.

Those were all fragments of proof of how much he loved you. To think you returned his feelings—he didn’t know what to think. 

“Really?” He sounded so surprised. It was almost heartbreaking.

“Yes,” you nodded, “even when we both have clothes on.” 

He looked down and touched your shirt. “Oh, you are wearing a shirt.”

“Yes, I am.”

He gazed at it briefly before, with an invisible shrug, leaned his cheek against your chest. “You’re warm. I like it.”

You smiled, feeling like your lips were about to extend out of your cheeks to become wider. “You’re cold because you took your shirt off!”

He scoffed and said nothing. Hyunjin was unguarded and half-stripped before you, chastely snuggling up against your chest while slurred words spilled out of his mouth like a mantra. You didn’t try to understand him; he wasn’t looking to have a conversation. You just wanted to lay together without a thought or a worry. Occasionally, he would sit up just to look at your face, then hum and lay back down, continuing to rot. 

It was such a wondrous thing.

“Do you want to wash up and go to bed?” you asked. “Are you tired?” 

“No. I want to stay here. I like it here.” 

Hyunjin let out a dreamy sigh. He threw his head back with a smile, his hair hitting your jaw and sprawled over the crook of your neck. He tilted his head then, letting it fall along your shoulder. His eyes were closed with bliss, and he laughed to himself. When he opened his eyes, there was only the shadow of your side profile, which was good for him. He wanted to kiss the skin, filled with close-up bumps and blemishes. It was a side profile he’ll know for the rest of his life, and he’ll whisper ‘I love you’ to a million times. 

“I have a secret to tell you,” he mentioned.

You raised a brow, intrigued, and urged him to continue, “What is it?”

He bit his lower lip and scurried off your body. You sat up straighter then, watching as he stumbled over to the front door for the bag he discarded on the ground. He crouched to pull a small notebook out easily before returning to you. He stopped by the couch, his eyes concentrated as he stared at the notebook's cover. Then, without another word, he dropped back onto your body and made you wrap your arms around him like before. 

“I draw you all the time. In my sketchbook.” 

He grinned out loud in the same way you would grin at him. His fingers played with the blank pages before, finally, he arrived at one filled with traces of his pencil. You gasped. He wasn’t spilling nonsense. The page was filled with beautiful sketches of your face, and so was the next one and the next. He kept flipping his notebook, and everywhere you could find pieces of yourself dotted out sincerely by his hand. 

They didn’t look to come from memories, but they were definitely from moments not even you could remember. But Hyunjin remembered everything because he detailed it all in the lines. His inability to not consume all of you tied his hands together and made you his ultimate muse. Almost unconsciously, for a while, the only thing he knew to draw was you. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t know how else to pour you out of his mind. 

It was overwhelming, and you could see that. He was showing you all his blood work: mornings spent missing you with the tip of a crooked pencil, afternoons spent recalling your features in his head, nights spent tracing your face with his lead-filled fingers under a desk lamp. If he could inhale these sketches of you into his bloodstream and poison himself with those images, leaving an organ tattoo of your presence, he would. 

“I love this one,” he said, pointing at a full-body sketch of you. “I was waiting for you at the coffee shop, and you were walking towards me. I love it. I was so excited to see you. I memorized what you wore.” 

This sketchbook stayed with him all the time; he felt like he was bringing you with him, like a kid refusing to let go of their blanket. You wouldn’t know anything about that. The beautiful boy in your arms admired you constantly, from the farthest corner of his soul to the tip of his button nose, and you wouldn’t know anything about it. 

“I draw you all the time,” he added. “I will never forget what you look like, but I always want to remember.” 

The implications of that didn’t fly over your head. His addition to telling you the truth disabled your ability to attribute the fact that he draws you in his free time to him being artistic. But more than being afraid of rejection, you feared a mutual connection. The only thing worse than you finding Hyunjin loveable was him finding that you were as well. 

“Do you know why?” he asked, looking at you expectantly. 

You wavered. You hadn’t spoken since he showed you his sketches. “Why?”

Hyunjin stared at you. Within the drunken fog of his eyes, there was earnestness. “Because I love you too.”

You didn’t know what to say, and you wouldn’t. There was solace in choosing to believe that he didn’t mean it. When tomorrow arrives, and he returns sober, you wouldn’t speak of this conversation at all. When night comes tomorrow, and he’s had a full day of rest, Hyunjin would vividly recall how you took care of him and told him you loved him, and he would draw you again. 

“Do you like them?”

His question snapped you out of your trance. Your sight blurred through a sudden quake before it focused on his face. Hyunjin pouted, his fingers tapping patiently at his notebook for your response. You softened with love and squeezed him in a hug, a smile blooming on your face. 

“I’ve never liked anything more,” you complimented, “except for you!”

His legs kicked when you nuzzled your face to the back of his neck. His heart filled, like the sun could fill up a piece of land and the moon could fill up a river, and in return for his joy, he let out a boisterous laugh. He didn’t hear how it sounded with yours. Still, it was such a wondrous thing. Your love was such a wondrous thing.

OFF MY FACE ( in love with you ) ⋆ lee heeseung

pairing : basketballer! heeseung x fem! reader

genre : strangers to lovers, romance, comedy if you squint, she fell first he fell harder, love at first kiss, literally no angst no problems they are in love with each other

synopsis : he’s talented, he’s smooth, he’s funny, he’s the popular basketball captain lee heeseung! when you find yourself saving him from a predicament, you muster up the courage to ask this long time crush of yours for a kiss in return. his mind tells him it’s just another kiss given, but why does his heart keep accelerating at the thought of you?

warnings : cursing, kys joke, mutual pining, sickening love that leaves singles ( me ) crying for one chance, heeseung comes so dangerously close you might faint imagining it, slight jealousy, suggestive? descriptions of making out, heeseung kisses another girl like twice ( booooo ), cucumbers

word count : 7.7k ( i have absolutely no vocab left in my head )

nella’s notes : long fics are so hard to write i am not fit for this?! kudos to those amazing amazing writers because how… again, not my best ( I’m past my peak ) so please please please give me feedback. i will read it when i stop being such a coward and face the fact that this is extremely mid.

for astrid : thank you so sososososo much for constantly hyping me up and cheering me on during the writing process. you were the first person i ever gave a spoiler to and you really make me feel like i’m floating whenever you say that you can’t wait for this very fic to come out ( i hope it lives up to at least half your standards )❤️‍🔥😻‼️

for rim : thank you cat woman, george, the cavity to my toothpaste for beta reading and helping me improve the flow of the whole fic ++ dealing with my dramatic ass cause told you not to text one too many times😈🕺🤨 this is the middest thing i’ve ever churned out but you actually read it so you’re literally on top☝️

important

part one of hylfab series :: series masterlist

LOVE is crazy and unpredictable, like the storm that comes after a sunny day. It washes you, drenching your whole body and soul in it. And some people decide to run, seeking for shelter desperately while others decide to dance in the shower of nature, accepting the love the earth blesses them with. But you, you were the type who waited for it with anticipation, crazily in love with the thought of love.

You feel a drop and then another. A kiss. A kiss. And then another kiss.

i. when your grassy lips touch mine

“With seconds left on the clock, Decelis’ Captain Lee Heeseung looks determined to score a tiebreaker, he’s driving towards the basket, and with a layup he-” You watch the boy whizz through the court, light on his feet as he dodges everyone in his way.

The way he moves is magnetic, you think, and he jumps easily tossing the ball into the basket.

“Scores!” And you’re on your feet, eyes wide and mouth agape as your scream blends into the cheers of your fellow schoolmates. “Lee Heeseung has done it once again, he’s led his team into the semifinals of the HYBE Basketball Tournament!”

The final whistle blows and you watch as the basketball team huddle together, specifically at a number 11, who was patting your good friend Jungwon on the back. The sweat from his temple rolls down to his chin as he pulls his jersey to wipe it, exposing the tiniest bit of skin that leaves you blushing.

“Would it hurt for you to look away once in a while?” Minjeong says, rolling her eyes, “I know you like him but god, get a change of scenery or you’ll get bored.”

The tips of your ears turn pink as you turn your head towards her, rebutting, “One, looking at him is a change of scenery from looking at you. Two, I was literally looking at Jungwon so that I could go congratulate him.” She scoffs, rolling her eyes at your pitiful attempt to explain yourself.

“Y/n! Minjeong!” Jungwon yells, capturing the attention of the both of you as you stop your bickering to congratulate him. As you walk down the steps, your eyes move to Heeseung, eyeing the way his tongue darts out to lick his lips as he listens to his coach.

You think he’s gorgeous, how his hands move to brush his hair back and how his skin glowed under the harsh lighting of the hall. His gaze shifts to meet yours for a split second before returning back, nodding at something his coach said.

“Congratulations Won, you were amazing!” Minjeong exclaims, giving him a big slap on the back. “Yeah Won, you’re the MVP of this game in my heart,” you add, passing him a water bottle like you always do after his matches. He holds back a laugh and you shoot him a sharp glare, cautioning him not to embarrass you in any way, especially when Heeseung was right beside him.

Before he can reply, Heeseung returns, patting Jungwon on the shoulder. “I have to get something for Coach Yoon, see you at the afterparty later?” Jungwon nods and he smiles, gaze darting from Jungwon to Minjeong to you before taking his leave.

“You’d think from the way you look right now, it’s the first time you’ve seen his face. But from the amount of times you’ve watched him from behind, I guess it actually is.” Minjeong jokes.

“Kill youself,” you reply, cursing her under your breath. It wasn’t the first time she’s teased you about your crush on Lee Heeseung. Just as you were about to call Minjeong out on the way she acted with her crush, your phone rings.

“Shit, sorry guys, I can’t hang out today. My brother just returned home yesterday, and he’s here to pick me up.” You apologise as you hurriedly grab your bag.

“Sunoo’s back? Tell him we said hi, and that we can’t wait to see him around school again!” Jungwon says, as the two of them wave goodbye to you.

The sky was turning a dark shade of blue as you finally breathed in some fresh air, starkly contrasting the musky smell of sweat that occupied the arena. Humming a song under your breath as you made your way across the empty hallway to the academy’s carpark.

“Hey, is anyone there?” The sound of rattling and thumping breaking the serene silence you were walking in. You turn, eyes at work, trying to find where the seemingly familiar voice was coming from. “Hello?” Your eyes dart to the equipment store.You walk towards the storage room, easily turning the knob on the door, opening it only to find Lee Heeseung, in all his glory, holding a door knob?

“Thank god, someone heard me,” he heaved a sigh of relief, hand moving up yet again to brush his hair back – which came to be useless as the strands of hair returned back to their places on his forehead. “Thank you so much, Jungwon’s friend,” he says, tossing the door knob into an empty basket.

“Jungwon’s friend?” You ask, head tilting in curiosity.

“Yeah, aren’t you Jungwon’s friend? I saw you with him just now. Thank you again for helping me.” He replies, meeting your gaze for the third time today and you feel a little faint.

“I helped you,” you repeated, processing his words, “well then, you owe me,” a lazy grin spreading on your face.

“What?” he says, slight shock evident in his voice, “what do you mean I owe you?”

You sigh exaggeratedly, “I was busy but I still helped you, and now I’m late for a meeting with a very important person. So, you owe me.”

“Okay,” he trails off, “so you want me to buy you lunch?”

“Lunch? Huh, is that how you ask out all of your side chicks,” you joke, having fun teasing the oblivious boy in front of you, “chuck them in a smelly room with you then tell them you’ll treat them for lunch?”

He scoffs, eyeing you for the first time. He thinks you’re pretty, how you were drowning in Jungwon’s oversized jersey with cheeks painted in streak of Decelis’ renowned navy blue and white. “No lunch then, so what exactly do you want, hm pretty girl?”

You look him up and down, and he’s intrigued. He’s used to girls falling to their knees for him. The kind with shy personas yet starkly contrasting gazes, as if they were going to eat him up. But he’s never really seen the look in your eyes, like you had him where he was supposed to be, and he was obliged to listen to your every beck and call.

“How about, “ you pause, thinking, “a kiss.”

“A kiss?” Heeseung’s taken aback. Never in his life has he been asked for a kiss this directly, especially not from such a pretty girl like you. He watches as you look up at him, doe eyes and glossy lips, and he thinks he’s gotten soft. “Sure,” he agrees cooly, keeping his composure.

You wonder where the surge of confidence had come from as you tilt your head up, gesturing to him to bend down before you move in.

He catches a whiff of your perfume before tasting the honeyed vanilla of your lips. It’s sweet yet subtle and he can’t help but yearn for more. His fingertips dance on your waist as he pulls you closer, hair softly brushing against his face as he drowns in the cream-like warmth of you.

He thinks paradise is between your lips and he’s in a dream. Like his heart is a stone that skims across the ocean of your skin, leaving dents of throbbing desire with every touch of your tongue with his.

But before he can go any further, you break the kiss, a frown etched on your face as you wipe your lips.

“Ugh, what is on your lips? Do you use some kind of olive oil lip balm? That’s disgusting,” you say, looking up to him appalled. “Don’t know if it’s you or the girl you kissed before the game, but whatever it is, it’s nauseating.”

Heeseung’s taken aback and wants to refute, but you were already walking out of the equipment room, the back of your hand trying to rub off the lingering taste of grass on your lips. He scoffs at your disappearing silhouette, ignoring the slight disappointment at the back of his mind.

It’s fine, he thinks, it’s just another kiss.

ii. stomach, meet butterflies

It’s been four days and Heeseung still can’t get you out of his mind. Suddenly you were everywhere, at basketball training, five people in front of him in line at the cafeteria ( he counted ), and his eyes constantly wandered, sifting through the different faces just to find a doe eyed girl with a sharp tongue and witty attitude.

The arm wrapped around his bicep tugs him down, bringing him for a kiss. It’s bitter and sour all at once, and he can taste it, the hint of the grass-tasting product on Sooji’s lips.

“Hey, what product do you use on your lips?” Heeseung asks her, curious of the disgusting flavour of the girl’s lip gloss.

“You like it that much, huh?” She purrs, shifting closer to Heeseung. “It’s actually cucumber, all natural as well, makes my lips softer. My mother actually bought it for me when she went to –” Heeseung nods, tuning out the girl’s annoyingly high pitched voice as he finds himself looking for you in the midst of the crowd of the cafeteria yet again.

To his surprise, he finds you already staring at him and he awkwardly shifts in his seat, moving away from Sooji. He doesn’t know why, but it suddenly feels wrong to be sitting so close to a girl, kissing and touching Sooji who he’s barely had five full conversations with when you were around. ( even if you were sitting across the cafeteria )

Heeseung can’t hear your soft voice that keeps replaying in his head, so he results to just watching as you break eye contact to wave your hand at Jungwon, who was walking towards your table. The way your eyes sparkle as Jungwon approaches you and your friends, and the grin plastered on your face as you call him out by his nickname irks Heeseung.

‘Won’, one simple syllabus and a silly nickname. So why is he feeling envious?

You’re just another girl he’s kissed, nothing more. He thinks, trying to console himself. It didn’t matter that you were confident, hilarious, or the prettiest person he’s ever met. Nor is it about how your lips felt so so soft against his, the taste of delicate vanilla that stayed on the tip of his tongue.

“Seungie, are you even listening to me?” a shrill voice interrupting his thoughts, and he turns back, annoyed at the fact that his line of sight was no longer you, but a cakey face of makeup paired along with a sickening amount of perfume. “What was I talking about?”

“Uh…cucumber lip balm?” He’s dazed, all his attention on you, not sparing a single glance at the girl leeched onto his arm. He can’t help but be mesmerised at how alive you were as you laughed along with your friends, the strong glare of the sun somehow cradled your figure, like a natural spotlight.

It’s like you have him wrapped around your finger, unknowingly tying up his heartlines like telephone cords. And he doesn’t know what to do.

So he results in asking Cupid. “I’ve retired Hee,” she says, “I’m not cupid anymore.” Her boyfriend Jay’s arm slung around her shoulder, as he twirls the ends of her hair.

“I’m not asking for matchmaking, I just don't know what to do next,” He mutters, slightly embarrassed. He’s Lee Heeseung, the basketball captain who led his team to the championships, the guy who could get any girl he liked, yet he finds himself stumbling over one small kiss with you.

Jay examines his friend’s expression, “if she really asked you for a kiss, then why are you the one chasing her around, following her like a lost puppy?” The girl beside him stifles a giggle, unable to fathom how the tables had finally turned. That after constantly teasing the both of them for following each other everywhere, it was finally his turn.

“Am not,” he argues, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed.

The couple looks at him in disbelief, “you’ve literally been asking around about her, looking for her every second you’re free, or do you not remember?”

Heeseung remembers. How could he ever forget when all he does these days is stare at you.

“You’re down, bad.” Jay’s voice bringing him back to reality, “so? She liked the kiss, right?”

Heeseung sighs, not knowing how to answer. He enjoyed it, but did you? Most probably not. Not when his lips were smothered with Sooji’s all-natural cucumber balm ( they make your lips soft, but at what cost? ) “You promise not to laugh?” he casts knowing looks at the duo who loved making fun of him, “she said my lips taste like grass.”

He watches as Jay and his girlfriend hold back their laughter, looking at each other in amusement. “Oh god, she’s way out of your league,” he says, “we have to meet her.”

Heeseung groans, palms rubbing his face as he deliberates why he ever came in the first place, “just fucking tell me what I should do.”

iii. if i had two hearts, i would fall for you twice

You think it’s pathetic; you’re pathetic — as you watch the boy you’ve liked for a year bend down to kiss a different girl with his lips, as if nothing had ever happened just a few days ago. Maybe you were being dramatic, making a big deal out of such a normal act from Lee Heeseung, but you couldn’t help but frown at the thought of your unrequited feelings.

Though you were the one who broke the kiss up, you had to admit it was one of the best kisses you’ve ever received in your life. An intricate memory of your first kiss with your crush that should be stored in the treasure chest of your heart. You wished it could last forever. But tasting another girl’s gloss on his lips made you feel so worthless, like you were a side piece – even if he wasn’t really yours to begin with.

“He’s a wuss, he’s a coward,” Minjeong exclaims as the both of you sit on the bleachers of Decelis’ indoor sports hall, “he gets the kiss of his life, follows you around school like a bitchless loser, and when you finally look at him he kisses someone else?”

You slap your palms onto Minjeong’s mouth, nodding your head towards the hall full of basketballers practising. “Way to be secretive,” you groan, “but I guess it’s normal for him to kiss people. Plus, he does not follow me around, he’s always with Sooji.”

“We literally saw him outside our class just now, looking directly at you through the window,” she comments, “you’ve definitely caught his attention.”

You sigh, watching Heeseung as he bends down to catch a breather, body flushed like roses as he mouths something to his teammate. And you think it would take you more than a lifetime to get over the boy. He never needs to know how you replay your conversation with him in your head all the time. The way he smiled when you opened the door, the lovesick feeling that only he could give you.

“No, I-” you start, turning to face Minjeong, before you are interrupted by her furious tapping, “yeah, you did, because he’s on the way here right now.”

“Hey Y/N, hey Minjeong,” he greets, standing in front of you looking like a god. Your eyes widen in shock as your name rolls off his tongue and you’re buzzing, burning, flying.

“Hey guys,” Jungwon follows, hands reaching out to ruffle your hair and you scream.

“Won, it took me such a long time to do my hair today,” you complained, whining as you glare at him in anger, completely forgetting the fact that your crush was right in front of you at the thought of your messed up look, “and your palms are sweaty.”

“This is the one I told you about, the brat,” Jungwon explains to Heeseung, a playful glint in his eyes as he points towards you. Heeseung looks at you, an amused smirk forming on his lips.

“I know what she’s like,” he says, “we’ve talked before.” Your heart squirms around your chest under his gaze. We’ve kissed. You think, as you calm the throbbing heart of yours.

“So,” you start, attempting to change the topic at the price of your embarrassment, “what brings the almighty captain of our basketball team here? Doesn’t really seem like you’re in need of any saving.” You trail off, smiling at the thought of getting back at him.

“Of course not, pretty girl,” he challenges back, neither of you backing down, “but if you want, you can save me anytime.” You don’t know when he moved in, so close you shuffle back.

And you think that God was so unfair, that the universe hated everyone but Lee Heeseung. Because it was criminal, how he looked so good drenched in sweat with flushed cheeks and pretty eyes so powerful one gaze could easily knock a faint hearted out.

“Do I look that easy?” You tilt your head, the tips of your lips curving up forming a sly smile, “you might be smooth, Lee, but I don’t save just anybody.”

“Well, thank god I’m not just anybody,” he mutters before moving back, a cocky smirk plastered on his face, “so, would you come save me?”

Heeseung’s words bury itself in every layer of skin belonging to you, and he owns every feeling that blossoms in the pit of your stomach when you think of him. You hear him, and almost plead for him to save you as you stargaze at the opaque galaxies in his irises.

“Since you so earnestly begged,” you answer, catching a small falter in your voice. And he crushes you with his reply.

“You promised,” the creaminess of his voice wrapping around you as the shrill sound of his coach’s whistle cuts the tension between the both of you. “See you soon, pretty girl.”

He runs off, leaving you tongue tied, numb, as your heart falls again and again.

iv. language is so miserably insufficient when i talk about you

Heeseung makes lists in his head about what he wants in a lover, like brown hair and a sweet voice. Athletic, and maybe someone soft, gentle, and caring to him. And it’s all bullshit. Because people aren’t lists and the girl he’s staring at across the hallway is showing him that.

You’re different from the list in his head, equipped with a sharp mind and a sense of humour that actually makes people laugh like they mean it. And he finds you spilling into him, but for once he doesn’t care. His veins brimming, bones soft, and lungs inflated as his lips smiles at the remembrance of the imprint of your mouth on his.

He doesn’t know when it happened, barely catching himself slipping away from his past antics of having random cheerleaders on his arms or giving kisses because he felt like it. Now, he felt the need to save. To save his unlimited kisses for someone, you, who stood across the hallway with perfume that smelt like a fleeting dream.

“Bro’s too love struck to even look at us when we talk,” Jake says, eyeing the boy with hearts in his eyes.

“Just go for it,” Sunghoon pipes up, “how hard can it be to get a girl?”

Heeseung’s head whips back, eyes slitted as he glared hardly at him. “You wouldn’t even know, you’re too busy arguing with that neighbour of yours.”

“Just give her flowers and shit, girls like that.” Sunghoon rolls his eyes, unable to even imagine why his friends were all so infested with their love lives now.

Jay slaps Sunghoon on his back, face contorting into slight annoyance. “Not all girls like that, you have to get to know her, what she likes, and what she doesn’t. Don’t take advice from a idiot who shows his liking by being a nuisance to his crush.”

“I do not like her, she is the most annoying person in the universe.” Sunghoon refutes. And Heeseung stares at the scene — of two of his friends bickering.

He turns to Jake, gesturing as if asking him to tell Heeseung his thoughts and Jake sighs, “not me bro, I’m literally fake dating my crush and she thinks every gift or kiss i give her is fake. You should listen to Jay.”

So Heeseung turns to Jay, face with an expression ever so vulnerable; with the innocence of a love struck puppy and the wish to become a lover.

“I mean,” Jay starts, and Heeseung’s eyebrows furrow in concentration, wanting to capture every last detail of Jay’s love advice. “Do you like her?”

It’s a simple question but it wrings the life out of Heeseung. Liking someone is simple, but admitting it is not.

And he thinks back, to the time when he felt as if he kissed the garden of eden on the lips, tinted mosaic love, heart soft in soft hands, warm fingertips grazing warm skin. He smiles, and fuck, he likes you. A lot.

He opens his mouth, but is too overwhelmed by the enriching feeling washing him down. So he results in just nodding, and for once his eyes sparkle; so bright it puts the sun to shame.

“Then go talk to her, ask her out, find out what she likes to do, what she despises, and go for it.” Jay answers, reminiscent of the time he first felt the intense feeling of love, of crush.

Heeseung doesn’t need to be told twice as he makes a beeline to you. It’s not the first time he’s approaching you, yet his palms are sweaty and his breath is staggered when he reaches you at your locker.

You look up from your phone to the boy who stands in front of you, shadow casted onto the screen of your phone. “Lee Heeseung, fancy seeing you here. What’s up?”

Your voice is tranquil as it kisses his eyelids, that he can now no longer see anyone but you. His mind turns a blank sheet — the flower petal used to write you the sweetest letter erased.

“Uh, Friday?” He stutters, and he mentally kills himself for losing composure in front of you. “I mean,” he pauses, catching his breath, “hey, are you free Friday?”

You stifle a laugh at the poor boy’s lack of speech, his obnoxious confidence replaced with fragile dandelions at the tip of his tongue.

“Sure,” he’s cute, “see you Friday Heeseung.”

And he feels like he’s scored a winning basket.

v. my heart is so full of you, i can hardly call it my own

The devil works hard, but Lee Heeseung works harder. With his muscular arms crossed against his chest, body leaning against the metal frame of your locker as he waits, like he has for the past hour, scanning the crowd for you.

“Sorry for the long wait, Heeseung.” you say as you approach. Hearing his name come out from your lips made the hairs on the back of his neck stand. He’s never known a better sound than his name on your lips.

“No problem,” he replies, staring into the same eyes that got him hooked and he thinks, “she’s so pretty, I could cry,” a pretty girl, his pretty girl with pretty hair and pretty eyes. “I’ll always wait for you.”

You look away nonchalantly, but he’s observant enough to notice the blush forming on your cheeks. “Okay, loverboy, if that’s what you want to do.” And he laughs, fingertips sliding around your wrist as he pulls you out of school.

“Hey! Where are you taking me,” you exclaim at the sudden movement from the boy who opens suns in your heart, “this is so ungentlemanly of you! Is this how you take all your side chicks out? Manhandle them?”

Heeseung stops in his tracks, turning his body around before pulling you in by the wrist. His eyes etched onto yours, “stop being such a princess and just follow me.”

And with that he continues to lead you into the mall, a winner’s smile etched on his face at the thought of your shocked expression.

He pulls you into the mall, guiding you to the arcade situated on the ground floor, professionally swerving through the crowd of children to the basketball machines tucked in the corner of the bustling place.

“This? You want me to save you, the almighty basketball captain, from an arcade shooting game?” You say, a baffled expression on your face.

“I hold the highest score, sweetheart,” he replies cockily, as he watches you scoff at his arrogance.

“Oh, so this is a challenge?” You say as you jokingly stare him down, and he smiles. He smiles because he sees the warmth in your eyes, so intense he was sure you could read all of his thoughts, everything he felt and thought about you, written on his pupils.

“Yeah, whatever you wish,” he mumbled to himself, his heart swelling at the sight of you so adorably eager to win.

You turn to him, snapping him out of his thoughts, “play with me, Hee, I want to see your face when you lose.”

And he goes mad at the way your eyes morph into crescents when you laugh, stars glittering your smile and your face so colourful. He slowly finds that with you around, everything's a blur and time moves too quickly.

You laugh and he feels…relief. Relieved that you simply exist, and he’s privileged enough to exist with you in the same lifetime, in the same world, right beside you.

It’s an easy win for you, but only because he’s distracted by the pureness of your giggles, his eyes constantly moving away from the metal netting of the basketball hoop to you.

“Loser,” you exclaim, sticking your tongue out in sheer happiness. It wasn’t often that you would beat a captain of a basketball team in his sport after all, “now you have to treat me to ice cream.”

He’s about to refuse before he holds himself back, wanting to blurt out how it was you who caused him the loss. “Don't’ be a sore loser, Hee, not everyone can be blessed with such immaculate talents,” you teased.

You are not wrong. You are immaculately talented with the way you spin his heart dizzy, lightheaded, drunk on the tiniest of memories he has with you. You may not be the world, but you are everything that makes the world good. And now that Heeseung’s met you, he thinks all he’s done in his life was just existing, not living.

A soft tug snaps him out of his daydream of you, tiny fingers bunching the fabric of his shirt. “Excuse me, can you help me?”

Before he can register the unfamiliar voice, you’re already bending down, squealing over the cute boy, “Aww, you’re so adorable!”

You interact excitedly with the little boy, eyes practically shaped into hearts as you stare at him in adoration. “I’ll help you, let’s go! Don’t ask this sore loser, he’s still crying over how I absolutely trashed him in basketball!”

Heeseung bends down as he gasps, feigning hurt. “You wound me, princess,” a hand on his chest as he entertains the small boy in front of him.

“Hyung, why is your girlfriend so mean to you?” His eyes wide as he asks ever so innocently, scratching the side of his head in confusion.

“Ah, he’s not-”

“Yeah, why are you so mean to me, my girlfriend?” He sided with the little boy, turning to face you. He’s amused as you shoot him a warning look, mind racking for a response in your flustered state.

He wishes that he could hear about all the thoughts flying through your head at the moment. He wishes that inside, there’s a garden blooming just for him.

Do you think about him the way he thinks about you?

The question gnaws at him, because even though he knows that you have had a crush on him, he doesn’t know what it feels like.

But maybe now he does.

It’s like he’s hell bound and you’re heaven sent, and he’s never really believed in love at first sight ( or kiss ) till he met you. But there was no other explanation, of why his eyes looked for you in the midst of the crowd even when he barely knew your name and just the taste of your lips, or why his pulse would jump whenever he hears your name even though he’s at the other end of the hallway.

You haunt him, and he loses sleep as he stares at the countless stars in the sky, looking for one that’s shaped like the stars in your eyes.

Pouting, you try to explain yourself, “he’s mean to me first,” you say, putting the blame on Heeseung. But to your dismay, the little boy doesn’t believe you one bit.

“He literally looks at you like how a dog looks at a bone,” Heeseung’s laughter rings through your ear and into your heart as the tips of your ear blush red.

“You make it seem like he wants to eat me,” you say, hands moving up to soothe the heat of your ears.

“But he looks like he wants to kiss you so badly,” and Heeseung wonders how the little boy is so accurate in his observations. You’re stunned, and he takes the chance to dip down, finally tasting the sweet vanilla dripping from your lips again.

“Come on, I’ll help you,” Heeseung says as he stands up, grasping the tiny hand of the boy, “my girlfriend is a little preoccupied right now.”

vi. one boy, thousand feelings

You presume that you’ll never finish falling in love with Lee Heeseung now that he’s planted himself firmly in the garden of your life, conducting the butterflies in your stomach with how he waits for you after school at your locker, in the same leaning stance that has slowly become familiar after the past two weeks.

You remember when you asked him why he waited in that stance, with his arms crossed leaning against the locker coolly. And you remember calling him a hypocrite when he said it was the position he looked best in, because all he was in your eyes was a loser.

Or because he always looked his best in your eyes.

Even so, with his charming tactics and smooth ways, here you are; with a sour aftertaste in your mouth and a sunken heart as Minjeong asks you about the basketball game this evening.

“So he didn’t ask you to watch him at the basketball game?” She scoffs, “what a boyfriend he is.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you reply, bashful at the intimate label. “And maybe it’s because he knows I always go either way.”

“But still,” she reasons, “with the way he goes around proclaiming and calling you his girlfriend, he should’ve at least asked.”

You sigh. Maybe it’s a sign, you think, a sign that he doesn’t actually like you as much as he seems to, a wake up call that this will never be real, that it’ll forever stay a coin that you’ve thrown into the wishing well.

“Don’t worry Y/N,” Minjeong consoles, “we’ll be going together, matching in Jungwon’s jerseys! Who wants to match with Lee Heeseung when you can match with the Kim Minjeong instead?”

A small smile forms at the words of your best friend, “okay then, let’s go get ready, I can’t wait to match with the Kim Minjeong.”

She squeals, pulling you into her room, where two of Jungwon’s white jerseys hung. And you spend the afternoon with Minjeong, giggling and gossiping, as you dress up to watch the basketball game.

The both of you finally reach the indoor hall, seated at the usually second row of your school’s bleachers. Eyes scanning the crowd of boys on the basketball court, only to find Heeseung in the midst of the chaos.

The gradual beat of your heart suddenly accelerates. No, you were supposed to be upset that he didn’t invite you, get your act together, you think to yourself.

Curse him, curse Lee Heeseung, because with that face and skill, it was near impossible to look away. He dazzles on the court, easily manoeuvring past everyone, and you’re way too distracted by trying to keep your gaze off him you barely focus on the scores.

‘Jungwon, I’m here for Jungwon’ is the mantra you tell yourself as you fix your gaze on your other best friend, who was proclaimed to be the upcoming ace of Decelis’ basketball team.

And he proves it himself, with the way he catches the ball thrown to him by Heeseung, eyes focused as he shoots a clean three pointer.

You and Minjeong immediately stand up cheering, hollering like crazy fans. “Oh my gosh, with the way he’s playing, he’s definitely getting mvp tonight instead of Heeseung.” A wide smile on her face starkly contrasting yours, “looks like lover boy isn’t doing so well today.”

Turning to look at him, your heart squeezes, not only because of your deep feelings for the boy, but also due to how drained he looks. Face pale as sweat drips down his hair onto the court in droplets.

You hate yourself. For not paying attention, for being petty, for missing out on how his legs tremble ever so slightly as he struggles to stand straight.

He looked fine at a glance but the more you observed his actions you realise how much of a bad shape he was in. A huge sigh of relief exits you when the halftime whistle blows and you fly down the stands to the barrier, sourness replaced with worry.

“Heeseung,” you call, and amidst the bustle of the hall he hears you clearly, jogging to you with shining eyes.

“Hey my pretty girlfriend,” he says with a small frown as he examines your outfit, “why are you wearing Jungwon’s jersey?”

You ignore the boy’s envy laced comment, “Hee, are you feeling okay? You didn’t look too good on court today.”

He musters up a tired smile, “only because a pretty girl is watching me, makes me nervous.”

You sigh as your words enter his left ear and exit through his right, “I think you should sit out for the last half of the game,” your eyebrows furrow in worry, “don’t overwork yourself.”

You wonder if the boy in front of you is even registering your words when you see the dazed look in his eyes, as if he was ticked off by something on you.

“Lee Heeseung, are you listening to me?”

“Why are you wearing Jungwon’s jersey?” He repeats, this time in a stern tone that sends shivers down your spine. His voice raspy as he asks.

“I always do, you know that,” unaware of the situation you were in, “not like it matters.”

“It does,” he grunts, “how can my girlfriend wear another boy’s jersey to my game, cheering his name, and waving a sign for him.”

“You never gave me yours,” you mutter under your breath, not wanting to seem too dramatic in front of him, “and I’m not even your girlfriend.”

A string of curses leave his mouth under his breath, and he pauses for a moment, “yet,” he says, “you’re not my girlfriend yet.”

And you feel like you could look into his eyes forever, memorise the mesmerising patterns of his irises. More than that, maybe you could recognize him by his touch alone, by smell even; you would know him blind, by the rhythm of his breaths, the loudness of his footsteps.

The call of Heeseung’s name breaks your gaze from his, and you gesture to him to go back. But his eyes are etched to your face, as if you were an angel bestowed upon him.

“Hee,” you echo his teammate’s calls, “your teammates are calling.” And he snaps out of it at the sound of your voice, nodding before placing a soft kiss at the corner of your lips.

“Wait for me,” he says, expression serious. And you liked it, how it softened slightly when he looked at you. Like the way he looked at you differed from how he looked at anyone else.

Heeseung turns away but you pull him back, fingers encasing his wrists, cheeks sullied the colour of love, “don’t strain yourself out there, you’re always the best player to me.”

You don’t know how your reassurance melts him, thaws him down to his raw emotions and bones. You squeeze his wrists, offering him a comforting smile, and he thinks he’s fucked.

vii. i think i’ll call you love !

Heeseung thinks the universe must hate him, as he blows his nose into the nth tissue of the day. He had so much planned; to finally treat you to ice cream from your previous date, and to ask you to finally be his girlfriend. But he thinks it’s all ruined.

He doesn’t know the exact moment he fell for you, nor did he know that he would fall. But he thinks that’s the beauty in it, that he wasn’t even looking when he found you.

“We could get ice cream,” he suggests, voice low and stuffed as he sniffs. Watching the adorable way your face scrunches up in disbelief entertains Heeseung as you scold him for not taking care of himself properly.

“Ice cream? When you’re sick?” casting a stern glance at the tall boy, “do you want to die?”

He smiles at your cute expressions, and god he wants to kiss you so badly. There wasn’t a single word in the universe to describe how he felt about you.

There’s nothing in the world he’ll ever find more beautiful than you. Not the sun. Not the moon. Not even the galaxy compares to the light you radiate.

Yes, as long as the last thing he’d see was you. He wants to reply, but instead a few coarse coughs exit his throat as his hands fly up to cover his mouth.

“I think you should head home, Hee,” you say, anxious for him, “you’re burning up.” Your hands push his hair back gently as you gauge his temperature from your touch on his forehead. “I told you that you should’ve sat out from yesterday’s basketball game.”

“Guess I’m in need of saving again,” he mumbles, resting his forehead on your shoulder, nausea drifting away at the smell of your vanilla perfume.

Your hand caresses him back, softly asking him to stand up before pulling him to the direction of the nurse’s office.

“No,” he groans, “let’s go out.”

You tsked at Heeseung’s childish complaining, “stop being such a big baby and follow me.”

“I hate the smell of the nurse’s office,” he whines, “let’s go.”

And he pulls you, hands encasing your fingers as he walks out of school. “Where?” You ask, not even trying to persuade the boy to go back, as if he would listen to you.

“Home,” he says, pulling you across the road, passing a few houses before he stops.

“This is your house? I never knew you lived so close to school.”

“You don’t know where your boyfriend lives?” he teases, masking the dizzy feeling in his head, “and yet I know so much about you. Like how you like to dance, how you’re called the pretty girl of your year, how you devour strawberry covered chocolates like you’re starved.”

You’re blushing and Heeseung is proud. “Asking around about me now, Hee? Don’t make it so obvious, or else people might think you’re obsessed.”

Maybe he was. Obsessed with you. He sees you before he sees anything else in the room, vanilla was never his favourite scent till he smelt it on you, and he’s tangled, blurred into you.

He unlocks the door and welcomes you in, watching as you look around in awe, “Oh my god, you look so cute here!” You point towards a framed picture of a baby Heeseung placed on the top of a drawer.

He flushes, quickly moving to turn the photo down before awkwardly changing the topic. “How about we watch a movie?”

“Didn’t we come here so you could rest?” You say, “You should go to sleep Hee, I’ll let myself out.”

He shakes his head furiously, distasting the idea of missing precious time with you. “No, let’s watch a movie,” he insists.

“Fine,” you sigh at the stubborn boy, “just for a while then you go to sleep.”

Heeseung randomly chooses a movie, unable to focus as he flops back onto his sofa. He moves his head, laying it on your shoulder, shifting to find a comfortable position.

And it’s silent as the both of you watch the movie, with Heeseung’s head propped on your shoulder, curled up against you.

Heeseung, for once, feels at peace. His head is void of basketball strategies or maths equations, filled with just you. With the lovely silken murmur of your breath, like an angel clad in wings and the soothing feeling of strawberries, cherries, and kisses during spring.

He can’t take it anymore, it’s killing him. He hates how nothing goes according to plan, how he couldn’t take you out today, tease you in front of the world and ask you to be his. But he guesses this is what love really is, not really showing you off, no. But more so the urgency to trace over the spots you last touched, a gentle graze, a pat on the shoulder, or even a simple hug. He feels you even when you’re not near, and your scent has perfectly settled into his senses.

“Be my girlfriend Y/n,” he blurts out, “my real girlfriend.”

You freeze up, in shock and he feels the need to explain, to confess, to cough up all the words that are stuck in his throat.

“I like you, so much I can’t put it into words. You’re stuck in my head, everywhere I go you’re the first person I’ve come to look for. Anytime someone looks at you, or speaks to you, I’m jealous. I want all your minutes and all your words. I want all of you, to myself, all the time. I-”

You cut him off, lips pressing against his. This is what it’s like to kiss Venus, he thinks. And he never thought a kiss could be such a dream. His heart intoxicated, his mind derailing into madness, anaesthetised bodies against each other as the both of you run wild like the fire in your veins.

Giving in and pulling away, taking it all in with smoke in the air, in the comfort of each other's arms and sedated beings. Just you and him.

“So, is that a yes?” He’s dazed and worried, worried that you would say no and he’d never be able to forget about you.

You crack a big grin, giggling at his stupid question. Your cheeks dusted in fairy red as you glow, “I guess you’re my real boyfriend now, Lee Heeseung.”

viii. i don’t know how you do it, but i’m forever ruined by you

Instead of the usual #04 on the back of your shirt, you’re donning a #01. Definitely because your boyfriend was a jealous brat, and not because you wanted to. ( Actually you instantly agreed when he asked you to )

It’s been two weeks and you’re absolutely sick. Sick of the butterfly galore fested in your stomach, and even more so of the handsome boy who owns it, constantly clinging onto you like he was right now.

“Babe, I can’t believe you’re not going to give me a good luck kiss, I’m literally going to faint right now.” He says, dramatically flopping into your arms.

“I know you’re weak Hee,” you say to the boy who looks extremely happy in your arms, “but I can’t be saving you all the time.”

“But you’re a hero. My hero.” He replies, his words working past the interlacing fingers of your ribs, there, into your heart. And you can and never will get enough of Heeseung, with his tall figure and messy hair, deep voice and words that come out of his mouth like waves you ride on into the ocean of love.

He says what he means and some people may mistake this for simplicity, but it doesn’t take a genius to cut into a heart. Especially with your boyfriend being a #01 idiot. ( your #01 idiot )

“Go to your teammates Hee, you’ve got a game to play.” You shoo him away, and his eyes widen, turning glossy as he crosses his arms at your words.

“Trying to get rid of me already? You hate me that much, huh babe?”

You huff, stepping into his embrace, hands snaking around his neck and his, your waist. You press a kiss onto his pillow lips, and you beg each other for warmth, till you’re rubicund flushed, till your lips and cheeks and sun-splotched.

He breaks the kiss, and both of you stay; forehead against forehead, your heavy breaths mixed with his. And he smiles, it’s sweet and easy, like milk, dribbling through your fingers in a laugh warm as the melting of a love scented candle. And it’s all the better for no one else to hear it. Because this is your loveline, this, you think, is living.

“Go kick their asses, boyfriend.”

bonus. somewhere far far away, in the land of eumpapas, nella presents ‘not so love letters’

Dear Y/n ( My Prettiest Hero ),

It’s been three years since we’ve started dating yet I’m still mad about you. This is the cheesiest shit I’m ever going to write so this is a warning to never use this as blackmail against me or show this to my family members when they ask you how I’ve been performing as a boyfriend. ( as if I’m not the best boyfriend in the world )

For the past three years, you’ve made my life so much easier to bear. My repetitive routines felt more lively, and you make my life better, all by just being you. In my long long life to come, it’s you, who will forever be the most special moment.

Though we may have argued over many petty things, especially during your senior year and my first year in uni, I wouldn’t change a thing. And I’ll choose you, over and over and over. Without a doubt, in a heartbeat, I’ll keep choosing you just like how you’ve chosen me.

Everything has a reason for falling, and I have you. I love you so much, I’m so glad heaven sent you to me.

Ps: stop laughing at my hair colours or I’ll replace your vanilla lip glosses with those cucumber ones you love.

A boy who's off his face, in love with you.

Lee Heeseung ( Your Hee )

exeunt. he kisses you even when the sun sleeps.

© eumpapas, 2023

pocketz protector

( 성훈 ) — 11:59pm

sleeping over at your boyfriend’s house for the first time was a bit nerve wracking. not that you had anything to be nervous about, it was just new.

you completed your nighttime routine as quickly as you could, knowing that sunghoon was probably waiting for you in his room. once you cleaned up and turned off the lights, you went into the man’s room to see him dead asleep. he had seemed tired as the two of you watched a movie earlier, fighting the drowsiness that threatened to take over.

you hesitantly moved towards the bed, turning off the small lamp near the mattress before you could climb in. sunghoon’s eyelids fluttered open at that, looking at you with tired eyes.

“i…i didn’t mean to wake you.” you whispered, feeling slightly guilty. sunghoon didn’t say a word, simply raising the blanket so you could slip under it. you smiled, climbing in next to sunghoon and tucking yourself into his body. the man immediately wrapped his arms around you and pulled you impossibly closer.

“i love you.” he mumbled, kissing the top of your head. your stomach flipped at the affection and you hid your face in his chest.

“i love you more.”

“impossible.” sunghoon replied, causing you to look up and see that his eyes were closed again.

“go to sleep.” you giggled once he began to nuzzle his nose on top of your head. being sleepy seemed to make sunghoon even more affectionate than usual.

“can’t. how can you expect me to sleep when i’ve got a pretty girl in my arms.” he mumbled with slurred words before kissing your face all over. the amount of butterflies in your stomach increased by a tenfold, but the feeling was something you cherished. you loved the way sunghoon made you feel.

“always the romantic.” you replied sarcastically, causing sunghoon to let out a small laugh. he then captured your lips in a short kiss before pulling away slightly, his nose brushing against yours.

“seriously though, i love you a lot.

“i know, hoon.”

taglist — @boyfhee @junityy @hitokki @iilwji @catzisb1og @greentulip @starantulas (ask to be added!)

nap time w/ ENHYPEN (hyung line)

pairing: ENHYPEN hyung line x gn!reader (established relationship)

genre: fluff & slice of life // warnings: none // WC:~2.24k

summary: as the title suggests nap time with hyung line! 

note: I hope you enjoy this as & that it reminds you that rest is just as important work.

──・──・・ ♡ ・・──・──

Heeseung

Nap time with Heeseung is mix of comfort and chaotic-ness. He loves cuddling with you which is no surprise. Something tells me before you two actually nap, he’s probably on his phone playing a game. Trying his best not to disturb you as you give into your tiredness.

Let’s be honest though, he isn’t the best at being quiet for too long. He’s cheering as he passes this level of the game he’s been grinding on for god knows how long. With that being said though, you’ll pat his chest softly as a reminder that he needs to be more quiet. Muttering a sorry to you and goes back to his game.

Did I mention, he loves having you lay on his chest? It makes him feels all warm and that he can protect you from things. A somewhat foolish belief but it helps him feel better. If there’s one thing he can do for you, it’s making sure you get rest when you need it. Y’all are both hard-workers, so it’s quite easy for you two to get so lost in the zone leaving no time to actually sit down & live life.

Before he joins you in dreamland, he’ll pepper your face with kisses. To the best of his ability, he’ll also try to bring the blanket closer to cover you - wanting to make sure you don’t get to cold. Somehow throughout the nap time, you get off of Heeseung’s chest and end up next to him. But whenever he feels like you’re the tiniest bit too far away from him, he brings you in closer.

In the case that he wakes up before you and realizes that it’s now dinnertime. Instead of waking you up gently, Heeseung decides to jump on the bed and shake you awake. Besides at this point in y’all’s relationship, he knows that you’d sleep through the gentle shaking or nudging. He unfortunately has been left with no choice but to wake you up as a child would. Not going to lie though, he sometimes enjoys it.

When your eyes finally flutter open to be met with Heeseung’s eyes glaring at you, you try not to scream. Lightly hitting him and asking what time it is. Only for you to hear what time it is and hitting again with “Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?? Now I’m not going to sleep tonight”. This always end up with him shrugging and telling you that he did try. Don’t worry, you end up apologizing as always and Heeseung knows you mean well. Sleeping at night with him is just as easy as it for both of you during nap time. Sure it might take a little longer but before you know it, the sun is already starting to rise when you wake up.

↓ rest of hyung line below ↓

Keep reading

LHS ☆ MIDNIGHT SOLACE

summary: because in silent nights like these, all heeseung needs after a tiring day is you.

heeseung x reader. established relationship; fluff. 851 word count. song: winter sleep by iu ☆

a/n: fingers crossed im hoping the tags work i've posted this twice last week huhu but anyways i'm in my soft hee hours today.

lee heeseung always comes home in the late hours of the night.

it’s exhausting, and it always has been for as long as he can remember.

the heavy weight that has been hanging on top of his head during the day would always fall right onto his shoulders once he steps foot into his home. it has become a routine at this point—to quietly lock the door, stop for a moment, close his eyes and let out a prolonged sigh.

but no matter how tired he was or no matter how much he dreaded the night, there is only one reason why he likes it.

a small smile forms into the corners of his lips as he watches you lying down on one side of the bed.

how could he afford to hate such nights when he gets to come home and see you like this?

hair splayed, eyes shut and breath steady—you look so calm, so peaceful. in his eyes, you are pretty no matter what time of the day, but it’s at moments like this that makes him think this is the prettiest you’ve ever been.

though there’s only one thing that ticks him off.

a pillow.

that damn pillow you always snuggle with so close in your sleep.

he doesn't like the way you’re holding on to it tightly as if you are afraid to let go. after all, that should be him. he should be the one you get to wrap your arms around on.

slow and gentle, heeseung removes the pillow from between your arms and places it on the other side of the bed in order to not wake you. but all his efforts collapse like a house of cards when your eyes slowly open and stare right into him.

"hee? is that you?” you ask in a hushed voice.

“of course, it’s me.” he assures you with a grin. “did i wake you up?”

“no, you didn't. it’s just… why did you move the pillow away?”

heeseung’s hand finds itself on the crown of your head and pats it with all the tenderness on his fingertips. “so i could sleep next to you, love.”

you groan, “there’s so much space on the other side. sleep there instead. i’m too lazy to move.”

"but i want to cuddle with you right now.” he pouts, but then a soft laugh from you swirls across the silent air.

“are you perhaps jealous of a pillow?”

heeseung could only widen his eyes as his cheeks are burning up like fire at your words. him? jealous of something that doesn't even move? it’s absurd, though the rapid beatings of his heart say otherwise.

“seriously? a pillow, hee?”

“you hug it every night! how could i not be jealous?” he scoffs. at this point, he’s aware that he seems childish, but he can't help it when he’s with you.

“you know i can't sleep unless i have something to hug,” you chuckle.

“then hug me instead.”

“gladly.”

when you open your arms wide, heeseung dives in almost immediately as if he was being welcomed by the ocean at his presence, the waves closing in on him and pulling him into the depths of your embrace. the scent of your cologne fills his senses when he buries his face into the crook of your neck, and when he finally closes his eyes, it feels like he’s suspended under the waters—untied from all the tension as his exhaustion could only dissipate into bubbles.

it’s a power, really, one where a hug from you seems to make his worries disappear in a blink of an eye and one where it makes a certain warmth bloom in his chest.

all because of you.

“tired?” you ask as you look down at him and stroke his cheek with the palm of your hand, tracing over every detail on his skin like forming constellations in the sky. he is so delicate, so fragile under your touch.

“mhm,” he takes in a deep breath before muttering under his breath, “so much.”

no matter how many times heeseung comes home looking like he lost the world, it’s impossible to get used to the way he tugs at your heart every time. just the sight of him alone makes your chest tighten and tears threaten to spill, almost as if you can feel his pain.

if only you could, because by then, would he feel better? would feeling his pain assure him that he wasn't alone? that you would be his constant even when time wasn't? that all things would pass but you would always stay?

because you’d do anything, even if it meant trading in the stars just to know that he’s alright.

“go to sleep,” you pull him closer and he shuffles lazily towards you. when his breathing slows and steadies, you wish for time to still.

and now, with heeseung in your arms instead, you’re finally able to fall asleep.

no matter how many pillows the world could offer or no matter how soft they could be, nothing could ever compare to the solace heeseung brings.

naked cuddles w jake ( fluff )

because of jake's type of lifestyle, he tends to fall asleep right when he comes homes. he likes short showers and then be asleep within seconds his head fell on his pillow.

but since you came in his life, he would add you to his routine. he likes having you waiting from him in his dorms but he likes it more going to ur place. he would knock your front door softly, his head hanging low, exhausting taking his whole body. once you appear in front of his eyes, he automatically feels better. he is few minutes away from ur warmth under ur covers. so his head automatically highs up and tiredly smiles at you. he would always gives u the tightest hug, his head in your neck, kissing you and smelling you deeply. i've missed you baby, he murmured. you know, he would never let you go, so you always have to walk backwards n until your in your place, him using his foot to shut the door. the worst moment of his day is to let u out of his arms but he knows it's for the better, so thats what he would always do in order to take off his outside clothes n his shoes. but he would never forget to take ur cheeks in his hands first n kiss you softly.

the routine is always the same, you both would talk on the couch, legs tangles together, eating the meal you made him. he would still be whispering still clinging on you like a koala. he always help you w the dishes. or more like you clean them n he would be back hugging you. than you for the meal, baby. it was delicious, he softly says while his arm around u hugs u tighter. can we take a shower together now, please ? and how can you say no to him.

so per usual, you would find urself under the stream of hot water, jake still all over you but this time he is actually helping you. helping you with shampoing your hair or brushing them, help you wash ur back and arms. while doing so, he would kiss whatever skin he has in front of him along with soft whispers my soft baby , youre so pretty, i love you's. and as munch as jake is tired, he never stop cherishing you first, loving you first, helping you first. but you'd obviously do the same for him. kissing his barefaced softly, thanking him for everything he does for you, washing his hair w nothing but pure love ...

he is a gentleman, so he would always helps you step out of the shower, him following you close. and you already know what he is going to do, he is going to stop you and ask you if u guys can sleep naked together. so you don't bother trying to dry him w his towel but just drag him into your bedroom, making him smile. it was weird for you at first to just stay naked around him, but jake never stares at you weirdly his eyes always on yours or your face, specially when he is tired like this, he just want you in his arms. skin to skin. the closest he can to his angel. jake would always lead you under your covers, not caring about skin care nor hair care nor drying your or his hair, his wants is too strong now.

jake prefers big spooning you so he can sleep peacefully knowing that you are protected. but when he is like this, he prefers seeing your face, between his chest and his arms. you don't kno why but it's because he can have an easier access to to kiss you. so once comfortable, his top leg on top of both of yours, arms circling the top of your body n his head on your, fully caging you, he can finally and fully let go. and so do you, his body warmth engulfing his whole body, his soft pattern made by his hand on your hair, his body smell right under ur nose, his slowing heartbeat,, everything is making you falling asleep. but tho him it's not the end yet. he been waiting his whole day to have you like this in his arms, so as munch as he is tired, he would always fall asleep after you. he always fails tho, ur presence making him too munch at ease, so within minutes he is also in dreamland. but he fights back. he would kiss your face. soft kisses are felt in your hair, along with hums, feather like kisses on your forehead, pecks on your nose. his arms would move from time to time, lingering fingers mindlessly groping or drawing patterns on ur figures.

jake would sometimes be strong enough to let out a sleep well angel, but most of the time he is already with you, in the arms of morpheus.

notes : here is my first fic t__t i didn't kno how to end it but i do hope its readable n made u feel as fizzy as i did while writing it. lemme kno what you think about it <3

@imaluckygirl @luvj4key @heeseungswifefr @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @jaeyunpinkyring

me when

this is home

description: jungwon x reader (very soft physical affection, jungwon's relationship with reader is up for interpretation)

i wrote this for the people who have had a troubled past and the idea of jungwon being your safe haven makes you want to *sob*

his presence was like a fresh load of laundry on a warm spring day. his smile, his laugh, jungwon coming into your life saved you from yourself. 

with his hoodie over his head and his favorite plaid pajama pants on, there really wasn’t a sight comparable to this one.

it was strange to be so engulfed by a spirit so light and bright but it was more comfortable than it is foreign.

he places his hand softly on yours and tugs you gently towards himself, “come here” he touches you in the way you need it and pours his love into each in every movement. you feel his affection through the pads of his finger tips and the soft grip of his hand. jungwon is your safe place, being someone so frightened by physicality, he makes it feel natural.

his hands roam all over your arms and shoulders, looking you up and down to make sure you’re okay like he always does. he pulls you into a hug and you feel yourself melt into him all over again. he’s warm and his body is firm but his aura is so soft and gentle it feels healing in a way. he lowers himself against the couch so that you can lay on his chest just like that, with his arms still wrapped around your lower back. 

you can hear his heart beating, and feel his chest moving up and down with every breath, and you are reminded all over again that you are in the right place. he traces circles through your clothes and it sends shivers up your spine. it feels so good to be here, it feels so good to be on jungwon. 

you take a peek up at him, with the tv screen flashing colors on his face in the dark room, he’s beautiful as ever. he’s handsome with his hair undone and a lazy outfit on, he’s jungwon and jungwon to the core. 

closing your eyes, you lower your head on his chest again, rubbing against it a bit with the side of your face. 

he notices you getting comfortable and takes it as a sign that you’re ready to fall asleep. he smiles softly, gazing at your presence and holding you just a bit tighter than he was before. 

after a few minutes of soaking in all your facial features with his eyes, he brings his head down to kiss your forehead gently, before going back to watch the tv. 

you’ve never slept better.