Gym Rat Boyfriend! Sunghoon Who Decides To Do His Workout Routine At Home, Incorporating You In It ♡

[230908] Hyunjin🫧

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another night, another fic of hyunjin to cry for

DRUNKEN WITH A SENSE OF LOVE | HWANG HYUNJIN.

genre | romance / drunken confessions / fake dating au

synopsis | you and hyunjin got drunk at different times, and you two took care of each other similarly. 

word count | 7.1k+

warning | mentions of insecurity / brief allusion to sexual themes / alcohol and drunkenness  

note | i changed almost everything about this.

Hyunjin has gotten himself etched to the back of your mind, and you genuinely did not like that.

You didn't blame him, though. If anything, you blame yourself for falling so head over heels for him.

For one, Hyunjin couldn’t help who falls in love with him. He couldn’t suppress his overwhelmingly good looks if he tried, which he never did. He enjoyed the positive attention, however shallow they often were. He also couldn’t put a pause on his decent personality, which came as a genuine surprise to you after you got to know him better through this fake dating scheme. You always thought beautiful people harbored the ugliest heart, out of envy and bitterness. Hyunjin wasn’t like that. You didn’t think he was, at least. 

For two, you should have known better than to fall in love with a man leagues above your selection pool. People called it self-degradation, a lack of self-esteem, having no self-worth, and whatnot. You considered it a down-to-earth trait, a reality check, understanding your limits, and whatnot. Hyunjin was a boy you should fall in love with in moderation but never utterly, ardently, absolutely. You were, unfortunately, the latter. 

For three, and this was the stupidest part, you two were temporarily dating. Hyunjin was honest when he approached you and said that his friends, at the ripe age of twenties and pursuing higher education, thought you were good enough to be the butt of a romantic joke. They had challenged him to chase you, get you into a relationship, and break your heart. It was a heinous and, frankly, childish game, but you agreed to it with him for the prize money. 

It was worth it at that time. It was easy money! Who wouldn’t want that? You didn’t feel that way now. Pretending to be in a loving relationship with him has short-term perks but long-term losses. 

Hyunjin was practically in you, etched to the back of your mind, tattooed on the inside of your skin, taken by your bloodied hands to the bottom of your grave. The degree to which your heart dropped for him was unexplainable by yourself. Therefore, having the excuse to go on dates and hold his hands in public, snuggle with him during outings with his friends, and maintain a pleasant friendship with him behind closed doors were great experiences. But when the time comes for separation, you will hurt, not merely over the breakup, but the reminder that he has never felt more for you, that your wonderful experience with him was just an experience.

Clumsy stumbling could be heard outside his apartment, and not a second later came a round of demanding knocks. Hyunjin's head perked up at the noise, his eyes wide in alert at the sudden banging. He looked at the door momentarily before finally looking over to the clock, his brows furrowing slightly at the late time. He waited to check if it could be a drunken stranger approaching the wrong door, but soon enough, another round of aggressive knocks sounded.

Holding the thought that it could just be his roommate, Han Jisung, coming back home late for yet another odd reason, and also praying inwardly that he wouldn't have to spend the night taking care of a loud, obnoxious, and very drunk Jisung, he made his way up and approached the door.

Flinging the door open, Hyunjin did a double-take before his annoyed expression morphed into one of surprise. His arm went slack against the wooden frame of the door, and he took an instinctive step forward when he saw your drunken state—your features were scrunched up in discomfort, your eyes squinted because astigmatism had taken over on your walk to the apartment building, and you were hunched over. You were not at all the way you used to look, not the way he was used to seeing you, which was always so presentable and well put together.

An amused smile appeared on his face as he eyed you up and down, wanting nothing more than to make fun of and tease you even without your ability to form the perfect retorts he has grown to be highly fond of. But you sniffed for a moment and took a step forward. In that exact second, you had Hyunjin doubling over to catch you before you could fall to the floor, concern lining up the crinkles of his eyes as he looked down at you.

"Woah, alright! Let’s stand slowly, okay?" he commanded gently, cooing at your side as if talking to a child. 

His arms curled around your shoulder and waist with a protective grip, and he hoisted your weight by supporting you with his own. Pulling you into the apartment, he shut the door slowly with his feet before returning his attention to you, hoping to bring you to the couch where you could lie down and rest.

“Jeez, babe, how much did you drink?” he laughed, dragging your unresponsive body along with him.

You groaned lowly, trying your best to hold down the acidic taste rushing at the back of your mouth. You wouldn’t know it, but this was not what you had planned for the night. Your friends did their job sending you home safely. Who would have thought you’d leave your apartment shortly after just to stumble to Hyunjin’s home? It was a short distance from your place, but what a miracle you made it without any major accidents! And what a disaster you made it to his home while being high on alcoholic honesty!

You snapped your head up. You were at the perfect angle to stare at his side profile, allowing you the premium shot of his perfect jawline, luscious locks, beautiful lashes, button tip of his nose, and just the most kissable lips you have ever seen. A grimace reached your face. It was an instinctive response. His good looks indeed couldn’t hide even behind the blurriest of eyes. You thought if you lied to your body enough, your mind would follow, so you grimaced whenever you looked at him, hoping to start disliking him. It hasn’t worked. 

"Hwang Hyunjin,” you muttered.

He chuckled. “Yes. That is me."

You gulped, still staring at him. Then, as you lowered your eyes to the floor, you leisurely suggested what’s been on your mind recently, “We should break up."

Of all the things you have done within these few months of him meeting you, including you agreeing to help him lie to his friends about this fake dating challenge to punching someone in the face for shaming his impulsive sex life, which you weren’t surprised he has, this one caught him off guard the most. This one also made him panic. It was fear, like sweaty hands and dry lips, like his mind racing with terrible thoughts, racing with made-up reasons as to why you would want that, racing with every single action he has done that could be counted as a mistake.

"Wh–what? Why do you–why? Why are we breaking up? We are fine. I didn't do anything–did I do something?" Hyunjin stuttered, unconsciously tightening his grip on your body before he let out a gentle but firm whisper, "No."

“I know, I am sorry. I don’t know–I’m just sorry,” you slurred, long stopped looking at him and instead was now leaning your entire weight against him like a wall. Your hands waved about in the air. "You are mad at me, aren't you? Of course–“ you snorted obnoxiously–“it’s a lot of money! I’ll pay you. Break up with me, don’t be mad.”

Hyunjin stared at you as you laughed manically. It sounded choked up, like you’ve got wet coughs prepared in your throat, but he could tell you were far from shedding tears, unlike good ol’ sensitive him, who remained in a state of anxiety and was still trying to process why you brought up separation. It wasn’t time for the fake dating to end. It was nowhere near it! To suggest breaking up so early must mean something was wrong with him, but what was? He couldn’t tell! To think he was just losing his mind over what to do once it was time for this fake relationship to end. 

“Hyunjin,” you called him once when you noticed his silence. Looking up at him, you furrowed your brows and reached up to brush his face clumsily with your hand, pushing your fingertips against his skull. “Hyunjin? Hey. Answer me. Hey. Hello. Hyunjin!”

He leaned away from your aggressive touch, his shoulders relaxing at your playful antics. A smile formed uncontrollably on his lips when you doubled down on smearing your hands all over his face after his dodges. He was left haplessly struggling between missing your direct eyeball pokes and keeping you from falling to the ground. You grinned out loud; he mirrored it, and he didn’t hear the sound of your laughs mixing together because he hears it all the time.

“You are very drunk, [Name],” he managed to comment after grabbing both of your hands and keeping them at his face level. His tight-lipped smile sparkled when you attempted a struggle, like a parent reprimanding their child, then he moved your hands to your face and squeezed your cheeks together. Your lip jutted out in response. He leaned in to kiss your cupid’s bow. “You’re being silly. Let’s get you cleaned up and back to bed.”

The frown on your face made him nervous. His hands slowly slipped from your face, and your hands fell to your sides. You remained silent, and he let the clogs in your brain move. Your thoughts weren’t clear. The only thing you were sure of was that the man standing before you was Hwang Hyunjin, your temporary boyfriend, and you’d spent the whole night trying to drink your feelings for him away. You came to his apartment for a reason—you needed to break up with him for your own good.

“No, I can’t go to bed yet. I have something to do.” You yawned and waved an arm dismissively. You spoke before you finished yawning, leaving your words hanging in the air in slow motion. “I came to tell you something.”

Hyunjin’s hands curled into fists. He let go, tightened them, and let go again to alleviate the sweat gathering at his palms. You were surprisingly hell-bent on the topic, which led him to believe it went beyond a moment of drunkenness. It must have been a conclusion formed long ago, and you have just now mustered the courage to let him know. But why? What did he do? What did he not do? 

He was more than nervous, if there was a word to describe the state of his heart. This was more than a personal problem, which he admittedly still has to work through, but far more significant than himself was you—his feelings for you, his immense affection for you, the fact that he loved you the way you warned yourself not to love him but did anyway. It wasn’t your fault. Your observant eyes, your sincerity, your care for him. It wasn’t your fault. He fell in love with you of his own accord.

If you left him, he would be like a dog without a leash, a dog without an owner. He would wander aimlessly, filled with rage and dread, sniffing every darkened corner for a whiff of your scent. 

“Are you breaking up with me?” he asked meekly. 

You sucked in a deep breath to counter your congested chest, then you shook your head in agreement. “Yes.” 

You were very drunk. He shouldn’t take your words into consideration. “That’s fine,” he said as he stepped toward you, “can we get cleaned up and go to bed anyway? It’s very late.”

“No, I don’t want you touching me anymore.” You stepped back dramatically and hugged yourself into a protective stance. “It’s for the better.” 

He wondered what that meant. Were you repulsed by him? Did you finally realize how disgusting his inability to stay away from sexual and romantic validation was? Were you ashamed to be associated with him because of his impulsive behavior? He was only good for a short time; did you come to that realization? You were too good for him. He always knew that.

Hyunjin retreated his hand from mid-air. His hands met before his abdomen, his fingers immediately picking at each other as he uncomfortably shifted his weight. The corner of his lips arched downward at your rejection, but he tried to keep them neutral so he wouldn’t be influenced into crying. There wasn’t much else he could do with himself if being near you was no longer an option. He looked lost and wronged; he felt so.

“[Name], did I do something?” he asked, rubbing his elbow awkwardly. “Why do you suddenly want to break up with me?”

You blinked at a random space on the wall. Sitting below your sight was a messy square table with unwashed cups, scattered papers, and a closed laptop. Even in a state of haze, you knew they didn’t belong to him. Hyunjin was more organized than that. He told you once it made his school experience much easier to have everything in one place: his computer, which you knew he often kept in his school bag. You sniffed; you knew him like the back of your hand. 

“I can’t tell you,” you replied slowly, not looking at him. “It’s a secret.” 

Hyunjin tilted his head. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise.” 

He sounded convincing, so you gradually moved your eyes to access him. Standing in front of you, timid as a mouse, was Hwang Hyunjin. You knew that, and you knew that your secret was to be kept from him. Yet, somehow, all that did not register once you were engaged in a conversation with him. He was Hyunjin, just a person you were talking to. If he promised not to tell, then it should be fine. 

“You promise?” you asked. 

Hyunjin nodded. “I promise.” 

You pouted with a glare, willing him to waver and show any sign of deception, but he stood his ground and waited for you to expose your deepest and darkest feelings to him. A faint grumble sounded from your mouth. You looked around briefly to check for any eavesdroppers before you walked a few tentative steps toward him, and you confessed, “I’m in love with you.” 

It was like a shot through the heart, and the shot was aimed so successfully that the organ tore off its hinges and fell to his abdomen where his hands fiddled nervously with each other. It may be asking for an exit out of his body, it may be seeking its new owner, or it may come knocking boldly at your mouth and ask to fit inside you. Hyunjin remained perplexed at your confession. The confession had a bitter taste; he wasn’t sure what to make of it or if he deserved it from someone like you. 

“[Name]…” 

“I’m sorry,” you apologized. “I am very in love with you. It’s stupid.” 

He couldn’t tell, but you understood, despite a fogged mind, that letting him know your affection for him was a cause for your demise. Your emotions were in a whirlwind, collecting up the fragments of all the heart pieces you've broken because of Hyunjin and how you had confronted yourself multiple times with your own delusions that this wouldn't be like the movies. He would never fall in love with you just because you two got closer from months of fake dating.

Even then, he was empathetic to your body language, especially how much they mirrored his. His shoulders slumped at how you turned away from him to trail your attention off somewhere safer, where he wasn’t in your sight. Registering his beautiful face was hard for you because you couldn’t have him; processing his existence and your proximity to him was difficult because you could never have him. You turned away from him to further signify to yourself the assumed truth, your trembling fingers pulling at each other to avoid an awkward standstill. 

Hyunjin was etched to the back of your brain. He was overwhelming, and he was far away. Unable to contain the sudden reminder that you were never going to get over him, a rush of tears started to tremble their way up to your eyes. Your face scrunched without remorse, and your head dropped near your shoulders alarmingly quickly that it startled him.

“I love you, I’m so sorry,” you sobbed. It made him panic. “Please break up with me.” 

“Why are we breaking up if you love me, silly?” he forced a laugh once he approached you. 

His lanky arms were clumsy and gentle after he pulled at his sweater sleeves to wipe your tears. They hovered awkwardly over your face, gauging how much strength to use to effectively dry your eyes but not push you any further away from him. He cooed a bunch of nonsense, but they were sweet like sleepy kisses on your hands. Eventually, he cupped your face and wiped your eyes with his thumbs. You let him; he made you laugh when he apologized for using too much force, even though he never did. 

“You don’t love me, Hyunjin,” you muttered. 

“Nonsense,” he retorted within a second, “who said that?”

You didn’t reply, so he stood with his arms raised for a whole minute while you leaned the weight of your head against his palms. He thought it terribly horrific that he ought to remember the shape of your face with his slender fingers because of his inability to sew his skin into yours. If his hands were like superglue, he could be attached to you forever—your face, your features, you, his most favorite thing in the world. His hands would burn, but what of it? Better you scorch him than to never be touched by you at all. 

“Hyunjin,” you called when you were finished zoning out.

“Mhm?” 

“I love you. I’m sorry,” you said. “I’m so ugly.” 

Growing up being valued for his beautiful features taught him to devalue it. He didn’t care for it. He wouldn't cry about it if he were to earn a permanent scar across his face. Yet, even then, if he were to have one, he was sure people would rave about how the scar ruined his face rather than talk about how he obtained it. Except for you. You’d ask about it, like you always asked everything about him. 

The kind of person you were, his most favorite person in the world—you were detailed like that, and you made him feel an essence of humanity others didn’t. With you, he wasn’t ethereal, he wasn’t a God, he wasn’t an angel fallen to Earth. He didn’t have to be because you never put him on some miraculous pedestal. He was just Hwang Hyunjin; his favorite food is his mother’s cooking, he makes clumsy mistakes and looks funny when he does, and he enjoys making art. 

Not a model, not God’s favorite, not pretty. Just a boy, and he’s in love with you.

“Okay,” he said, “I’m ugly too.” 

He didn’t deny your false claims; you were the prettiest he had ever known, but only he needed to know that. When there comes a time for him to praise and worship your physical body, he will. For now, there wasn’t anything much he wanted to say in return. Just that he was the same as you. 

Your souls didn’t collide that way, obviously. You two were completely different people with varying hobbies and friend groups. However, Hyunjin was willing to chase you like Hell to meet where you were. There wasn’t anything he wanted to be if he couldn’t be it with you. Whatever you are, he is.

There was another long pause. Hyunjin patiently waited, tender eyes concentrated on each crevice of your face as he stroked your stained cheeks with his thumb. You didn’t say anything more, only slapping your hands over his and pulling them from your face. He thought you were moving away, but you took a step forward instead and dove into his arms. You hugged him around his neck, hanging off him like a sloth. He chuckled, swaying you side to side. You were tired, he knew. 

“It’s getting late, baby,” he whispered, leaning back to watch your closed eyes and laughing. He ran a hand through your hair multiple times, getting a clearer view of your face. “Let’s clean up and go to bed, okay?”

You groaned and muttered in response. He didn’t hear what you said. He kept sweeping your hair back. Supporting you with his weight, you were heavy, but he didn’t mind. You wouldn’t be able to change your clothes by yourself, so he would help you. It’d be sloppy and slow, and he wouldn’t mind. You would take up most of the bed, sprawled out without a clue that you weren’t sleeping in your apartment. Your body heat would scratch up a fever in him, and he wouldn’t mind. He enjoyed taking care of you. 

Staring at him as he stroked your hair, you pouted before uttering three familiar words, “I love you.” 

Hyunjin smiled. Whatever you are, he is. He kissed your nose and your eyes. He told you he loves you too.

It was one of those nights when Hyunjin couldn’t spend time with you, and you were unreasonably disappointed about it.

You slouched atop the couch you got at a flea market, which Hyunjin had to convince you to get after repeatedly reassuring you that there wouldn’t be any actual fleas hiding in the creases. This uncomfortable position resulted from five hours of continuous mumbling about how you should not be upset that Hyunjin didn’t choose to spend the night with you, which he had done the past few weeks. He has been somewhat clingy lately, and you couldn’t imagine why. You thought your act was good. There was no way his friends doubted you. 

This could be the calm before the storm. Even though you two had concocted a detailed timeline for your fake dating, you wouldn’t be surprised if Hyunjin abruptly cut it short. If that was true, his current sweetness was nothing more than a buildup to a dramatic and convincing breakup. 

Pouting in dismay, you rolled up the bag of chips and reached for the tea table beside you, your fingertips wiggling to graze past the black binder clip you used to keep the plastic bag sealed. Amid your frustrated groaning, still refusing to get your ass off the couch even after more than ten seconds of struggling, the doorbell suddenly rang, and coming after that were loud bangs at your door.

A shiver ran down your spine as you snapped your head toward the direction of the noise, your brows rising abruptly at the fearful intrusion. Slowly throwing your chip bag on the table, you stood up and tip-toed your way over to the door where you pressed your hands to the wooden surface and carefully looked through the peephole.

A gasp caught in your throat when you saw Hyunjin’s face standing just a few inches away from the circle as if leaning against the door for support. You immediately moved out and unlocked your door, swinging it open to reveal him fully. Taking a good look at his face before he started to throw his little drunken tantrum—messy hair, concentrated brows, droopy eyelids, and a general look of discomfort—you concluded that he definitely has been downing more shots than he could handle.

“What happened to you?” 

You stepped up to put your hands on either side of his arm, carefully bringing him into your apartment. He stumbled with most of his weight straining on your shoulder. There were so many stutters in his steps that you almost dragged him into a fall with you on your way to the couch. After setting him down, he snorted at the cushy feeling of your couch. It took him a while to process the new environment, and then he arched his neck to find you. 

Hyunjin could barely make out your face. He couldn’t even be sure if he went to your apartment, but subconsciously, he could tell he was at your place. He felt it in your timid touches just now, and whatever scent he whiffed out of the air, it smelt like you. Licking his lower lip as his worries slowly faded away and his attention—as much as he could muster—returned, he mumbled a string of incoherent noises under his breath before he, much to your palpitating heart’s dismay, pulled you onto the couch next to him. 

He got on top of you; his legs had to bend in weird ways to accommodate the small couch, and he placed his palms on either side of your head to trap you under him. You felt heat forming on your cheeks as you shrunk beneath his shadow, your eyes widening at the proximity. Hyunjin has never done this before. The closeness wasn’t new, but the position of it was. Being under him was an unbelievable feeling. He looked beautiful, and his toned muscles became more visible by supporting his own weight. How your thoughts were smeared! You doubted your body would forget how well he could cage you in. 

Hyunjin stared at you with a low, drunken hum. Then, suddenly, he leaned down to meet your face. 

“[Name],” he started, lowering his head tiredly to your shoulder, “you wanted to break up with me?”

You blinked up at the ceiling, confused, but you figured it could be the alcohol talking for him, so you chose to disregard all the questions that popped into your head. Holding out your arms to push against his chest, you attempted to sit up. “I don’t want to break up with you, Hyunjin.”

He seemed to be processing your answer as he allowed you to set him aside and give yourself more space. You sat quietly next to him, letting him have the time to think over what he wanted to say. The thoughtful pout on his face told you it was difficult for him to use his brain, but it looked cute enough that you almost took a picture to tease him about it once he got sober. You wondered if his response would be nonsense as well.

“Why do you want to break up with me?” he whispered, causing you to sigh. He hasn’t heard you, after all. His lips were pursed into a frown, and his eyes were squinted to show that he was very close to leaking a few tears down his cheeks, but you couldn’t read between the lines and realize what his despair meant. Hands fiddling with the hem of his shirt, he abruptly turned to you and sniffed. “You can’t do that to me. I won’t–I won’t let you do that to me.” 

You tilted your head to the side, your brows constantly furrowed. Where was he getting this idea from? You tried to recall any off-handed comments you made. Still, they were primarily directed elsewhere and never at your fake relationship. You’ve never said anything bad about him, not to him, and never behind his back. There wasn’t anything outstandingly mean to say anyway, so what sprung this on? 

Returning to reality, your head faintly shook as you looked up at Hyunjin to ask his drunken state about the reason behind this outburst. Your eyes widened instead when you saw he had taken his shirt off, the lump of fabric discarded on the floor carelessly. Heat blossomed at the base of your neck, and you felt your joints sour in panic; seriously, what sprung this on! This was a much bigger issue than drunkenness! 

When you noticed his hands reaching to the belt of his jeans, you immediately lunged toward him and circled his wrists to stop his movements. Your panic became a surprised concern at his need to strip naked in your apartment. You doubted he wanted to show you his body. Even if he did, this wasn’t how you wanted to do it. 

Moving his hands away, you urged, “No. We’re not doing that.”

“No, I have to! I have to!” 

He snatched his hands away from yours and dove to unbuckle his belt again. His movements grew increasingly frustrated the more you blocked his attempt to remove his pants. You were annoying, but he wasn’t angry at you. He was scared. He wasn’t getting what he wanted, and he thought you might leave him if he didn’t show you what he could offer. It scared him that you didn’t want to see him whole, so eventually, he began to sob. 

“I have to show you, [Name]. Please let me!” Hyunjin whined, hands tugging harshly at each other by his chest.

“You don’t have to show me anything,” you assured as you grabbed a few tissues from the tea table. You dabbled softly at his eyes. “Come on, let’s put your clothes back on.”

Tears rolled down his cheeks like knives against your skin. He felt uncomfortable at this unfamiliar sequence. Things usually go smoothly after he reveals himself. Nobody has ever refused to see him, so why did you? What about himself was so repulsive that you couldn’t take one look at his bare skin? Why didn’t you love him back? 

“No.” he slurred, then paused to catch his breath. 

The moment of calm was gone too soon. His hands reached up to ruffle his hair in a frenzy. His heart hammering against his chest, yet his brain wasn’t sane enough to understand what the sudden panic was about, just that it had something to do with you. That obliviousness, as a result, was making him even more agitated.

“You need to love me again!” he exclaimed, eyes brimming with unknown tears. “People love me when I take my clothes off. You need to love me again!” 

A puff of air slowly made its way out of your half-parted lips. You could feel the stretching of your heartstrings. Hyunjin cried as he shrank into himself, his arms going around his cold body for a sense of comfort, and the sight toyed with your head by sending waves of deep anguish like mere laps of the ocean. The feeling deranged you—to realize Hyunjin experiences such a level of hopelessness and loneliness was heartbreaking. More importantly, you felt ignorant of his problems. You should have been a better friend, perhaps even a better lover.

“Hey,” you called out gently as you scooted toward him. You brought one hand up to his face to direct his eyes to you. You smiled softly when you found that he was opening his squinted eyes to stare back. “I’m going to get something, so wait here for me, okay?”

He sniffed, tasting the tears rolling down his mouth, and nodded. You rubbed his cheek with your thumb, ever so gingerly placing a hand at the small of his back, hoping to calm him down, but it turned out Hyunjin had a thought of his own. After feeling the warmth of your hand, he took it as a sign that you wanted to hug him, so he obliged immediately by wrapping his arms around your torso and putting his head on your shoulder.

You breathed a small chuckle when he made weird noises after finding a space at the crook of your neck. The transition from him throwing a tantrum to having a mini panic attack to being the clingiest person you have ever met was amusing. As was the transition from your mind being filled with annoyance and confusion to having your feelings torn into shreds to breathing out a chuckle. It was entertaining, and the fact that Hyunjin could bring out so many different aspects of your emotions was undeniably endearing.

He was that kind of person. He has always been. More than beautiful, he was expressive, selfless, and tender-minded. Watching him allowed you to live an emotional life vicariously. All the things you ignored in the past because of mental stress were repainted in colors by his hands. The movie you never watched, the ice cream you never tried, the districts you never visited, and the fireworks show you never stayed for—everything meant something to Hyunjin, so everything meant something to you. 

To him, love was a grave of sacrifices. Of his time, his space, his body, and his mind. He was willing to give, and he has given you all except one. You wouldn’t know any of it. 

You moved to the back of the couch, cautiously pressing your back up against the edge. Hyunjin followed you, shifting his position so he lay stuffed against your chest with your arms around his shoulders. His fingers played with each other shyly on top of his bare chest as he looked around your apartment absentmindedly. He couldn’t register anything but the fabric of your clothes and how small you made him feel. 

He finally looked at you after a moment. His cries had long ceased and left only trails of dry tears on his dearest cheeks. With his eyelashes still wet, glittering beautifully in the air, he blinked, his eyes widening after he found out you had been looking down at him. Suddenly, he grinned childishly with a hint of sun hidden in his smile. “What are you looking at?”

You hummed, finding Hyunjin utterly irresistible even with his tear-stained cheeks and slurred laughter. He was all messy and puzzling, but your heart pushed against itself to give him space to stay inside. “I’m looking at you, silly.” 

“Oh, you’re looking at me.” He giggled, covering half his face with his hands and shutting his eyes shyly. He squirmed around in your arms, but not once did he move far enough to not feel you against him. When he was done, he returned back to the original position, and he peeked an eye through the gap between his fingers. He laughed. “ I am looking at you too.”

“I know you are,” you said, fingers threading through his feathery locks with serenity, and a smile so heartwarming that Hyunjin couldn’t help but focus his sight on it.

“Why?” he asked, his eyes shaky.

You pursed your lips together and shrugged. “I can’t tell you. It is a secret.”

Hyunjin’s gaze hardened naively, a gasp ripping through his throat as he leaned back against your hand. “Tell me! I promise I won’t tell anyone else.”

“You promise?” 

“I promise!” he exclaimed, sitting up slightly and bumping his forehead against your chin. He burst into a fit of giggles then, rubbing his forehead for a while before reaching the same hand out to touch your chin sloppily. “I’m sorry, I hit your face.”

“It's okay,” you said, your thumb soothing against the spot he had bumped into you. “But you promise me you can keep a secret? It’s very important!”

He nodded eagerly. “I promise!”

“Okay,” you said as you looked up at the sky, pretending to think. “The reason why I am looking at you is really simple. It is because I love you.”

You glanced back down at him to find him looking at you in astonishment. He licked his lower lip. His mind cleared a little for the first time, and he felt all of the universe that was your body pressed close to him. Beyond that, there were more minor things. Your heart beat faster than his, making him chase after you like a madman; the warmth of your skin equated to the warmth he manually cultivated in his bed by stacking multiple blankets together, an attempt to replicate your presence at night; your soft voice, going through his blurry ears, sounded like the subconscious voice he hears all the time. Maybe his subconscious was all just you.

Those were all fragments of proof of how much he loved you. To think you returned his feelings—he didn’t know what to think. 

“Really?” He sounded so surprised. It was almost heartbreaking.

“Yes,” you nodded, “even when we both have clothes on.” 

He looked down and touched your shirt. “Oh, you are wearing a shirt.”

“Yes, I am.”

He gazed at it briefly before, with an invisible shrug, leaned his cheek against your chest. “You’re warm. I like it.”

You smiled, feeling like your lips were about to extend out of your cheeks to become wider. “You’re cold because you took your shirt off!”

He scoffed and said nothing. Hyunjin was unguarded and half-stripped before you, chastely snuggling up against your chest while slurred words spilled out of his mouth like a mantra. You didn’t try to understand him; he wasn’t looking to have a conversation. You just wanted to lay together without a thought or a worry. Occasionally, he would sit up just to look at your face, then hum and lay back down, continuing to rot. 

It was such a wondrous thing.

“Do you want to wash up and go to bed?” you asked. “Are you tired?” 

“No. I want to stay here. I like it here.” 

Hyunjin let out a dreamy sigh. He threw his head back with a smile, his hair hitting your jaw and sprawled over the crook of your neck. He tilted his head then, letting it fall along your shoulder. His eyes were closed with bliss, and he laughed to himself. When he opened his eyes, there was only the shadow of your side profile, which was good for him. He wanted to kiss the skin, filled with close-up bumps and blemishes. It was a side profile he’ll know for the rest of his life, and he’ll whisper ‘I love you’ to a million times. 

“I have a secret to tell you,” he mentioned.

You raised a brow, intrigued, and urged him to continue, “What is it?”

He bit his lower lip and scurried off your body. You sat up straighter then, watching as he stumbled over to the front door for the bag he discarded on the ground. He crouched to pull a small notebook out easily before returning to you. He stopped by the couch, his eyes concentrated as he stared at the notebook's cover. Then, without another word, he dropped back onto your body and made you wrap your arms around him like before. 

“I draw you all the time. In my sketchbook.” 

He grinned out loud in the same way you would grin at him. His fingers played with the blank pages before, finally, he arrived at one filled with traces of his pencil. You gasped. He wasn’t spilling nonsense. The page was filled with beautiful sketches of your face, and so was the next one and the next. He kept flipping his notebook, and everywhere you could find pieces of yourself dotted out sincerely by his hand. 

They didn’t look to come from memories, but they were definitely from moments not even you could remember. But Hyunjin remembered everything because he detailed it all in the lines. His inability to not consume all of you tied his hands together and made you his ultimate muse. Almost unconsciously, for a while, the only thing he knew to draw was you. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t know how else to pour you out of his mind. 

It was overwhelming, and you could see that. He was showing you all his blood work: mornings spent missing you with the tip of a crooked pencil, afternoons spent recalling your features in his head, nights spent tracing your face with his lead-filled fingers under a desk lamp. If he could inhale these sketches of you into his bloodstream and poison himself with those images, leaving an organ tattoo of your presence, he would. 

“I love this one,” he said, pointing at a full-body sketch of you. “I was waiting for you at the coffee shop, and you were walking towards me. I love it. I was so excited to see you. I memorized what you wore.” 

This sketchbook stayed with him all the time; he felt like he was bringing you with him, like a kid refusing to let go of their blanket. You wouldn’t know anything about that. The beautiful boy in your arms admired you constantly, from the farthest corner of his soul to the tip of his button nose, and you wouldn’t know anything about it. 

“I draw you all the time,” he added. “I will never forget what you look like, but I always want to remember.” 

The implications of that didn’t fly over your head. His addition to telling you the truth disabled your ability to attribute the fact that he draws you in his free time to him being artistic. But more than being afraid of rejection, you feared a mutual connection. The only thing worse than you finding Hyunjin loveable was him finding that you were as well. 

“Do you know why?” he asked, looking at you expectantly. 

You wavered. You hadn’t spoken since he showed you his sketches. “Why?”

Hyunjin stared at you. Within the drunken fog of his eyes, there was earnestness. “Because I love you too.”

You didn’t know what to say, and you wouldn’t. There was solace in choosing to believe that he didn’t mean it. When tomorrow arrives, and he returns sober, you wouldn’t speak of this conversation at all. When night comes tomorrow, and he’s had a full day of rest, Hyunjin would vividly recall how you took care of him and told him you loved him, and he would draw you again. 

“Do you like them?”

His question snapped you out of your trance. Your sight blurred through a sudden quake before it focused on his face. Hyunjin pouted, his fingers tapping patiently at his notebook for your response. You softened with love and squeezed him in a hug, a smile blooming on your face. 

“I’ve never liked anything more,” you complimented, “except for you!”

His legs kicked when you nuzzled your face to the back of his neck. His heart filled, like the sun could fill up a piece of land and the moon could fill up a river, and in return for his joy, he let out a boisterous laugh. He didn’t hear how it sounded with yours. Still, it was such a wondrous thing. Your love was such a wondrous thing.

my heart can never take girl dad jay ㅜㅜ

# FATHER FIGURE .

synopsis: girl dad jay hcs pairing: dad! jay x f! reader warnings: pregnancy, fluff sav notes: girl dad jay is one of my favorite thoughts. i i think jay would be the best girl dad. wc: > 500 DOLLHOUSE..

if you enjoyed, please REBLOG !

girl-dad jay! who mentally prepared himself for his daughter and her arrival. knowing this was going to be a huge change in his life, and he was ready for it. jay was scared of being a parent, but once his little girl was born, he was ready.

girl-dad jay! who spoils his little princess rotten when she’s born.

girl dad jay! who wakes up in the middle of the night to make his daughter milk and get her back to sleep. he doesn’t care about loosing sleep, just getting his daughter to sleep.

girl dad jay! who plays princess with his toddler. wearing crowns and playing tea party with her.

girl dad jay! who finds himself buying his daughter princess gowns and princess heels because his daughter mentioned she loves them

girl dad jay! who brushes and braids his daughter’s hair at night.

girl dad jay! who lets his daughter paint his nails.

girl dad jay! who shows up to all his daughters school events, (stepping up, school dance recitals, school plays)

girl dad jay! who brags about his successful daughter to all his friends

girl dad jay! who fills the fridge with all his daughters favorites, even when she only mentioned she liked it ONCE

girl dad jay! who misses his daughter when she’s at a sleep over or friends house. he’s so used to her company since it’s only the two of them

girl dad jay! who attempts to scare away his daughter’s first boyfriend because he’s afraid of loosing his princess

girl dad jay! who (jokingly) threatens his daughter’s current boyfriend. making sure his princess is treated like a princess

girl dad jay! who still refers to his only daughter as his princess, because she’s genuinely the light of his life.. the person who made him a better man today.

taglist — REBLOGGED !

---

⋅ ⎯ ✈︎ choi yeonjun | s. cuddling with yeonjun ! | p. gn!reader x bf!yeonjun ! | g. headcanon, fluff, romance ! | r. requested by anon ! | wc. ~0.2k !

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최연준 ' choi yeonjun

cuddling with yeonjun has got to be the sweetest thing ever

he's so warm and he LOVESSS big spooning

he loves having you in his arms but he also tends to brush through your hair

places the softest kisses on your lips

yeonjun is not the typical boyfriend

he's everything you want and more and there is no doubt about that

whenever you walk by him while he's laying down he always opens his arms in hopes you'll cuddle with him

whether or not he's on the couch or in bed he will always be down to have you in his arms

enjoys when you face him and brush hairs away from his eyes and then kiss him

he also really enjoys kissing the tip of your nose when you are facing him

YEONJUN IS LITERALLY BOYFRIEND MATERIAL

AND NO ONE

LITERALLY NO ONE

CAN CHANGE MY MIND !

2022 © jungwnies

it wasn’t something unusual, it’s not something new either. it’s just tsukishima being in his soft hours with you. him being soft with you will surely make other raise a brow. the tsukishima? being soft with his partner? might be new to them, but it’s normal for you as soon as you were able break down the walls he built.

this tall man likes to be pampered, him being the small spoon when he likes to be. showering him with your love that he deserves so much. he’s been misunderstood a lot. he really appreciates that him, a man who had troubles in expressing himself, met someone who is patient to put up with him. letting him take his time to find the right words to say, letting him have his thoughts process first before anything else.

he’s only like this with you. only you.

imagine him slowly squeezing himself in your embrace after a long tiring day. the match was tough, people getting too close for his comfort. your presence, your embrace, your soft caress — the only one that can give him solace.

imagine him looking for you in a crowded place, with a frown on his face and your favorite snack in his hand. the frown disappears the moment he saw you, soft smile on his face that’s reserved for you. he made his way to you, heart thumping in excitement knowing that he gets to be with you.

imagine him lovingly looking at you even after four years in the relationship. the setting sun shines through the kitchen’s window, the sun hitting you — giving you a nice glow. he then got up from his seat while you were chuckling from something he just said. it was so smooth that you only just noticed he’s beside you, kneeling on the floor, with a ring in his hand.

he doesn’t know if he’s simply comfortable to be at home or if it’s you. but he is sure that wherever he is, as long as there is you, he’ll always find himself in the comfort of your presence.

---

10:45 am — yang jungwon

₊˚⊹ notes ~ bf!jungwon x fem!reader ⋆⭒ warnings: kisses, petname, sleepiness ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 word count: 100+꩜⋆ ˚｡⋆˚ genre: fluff, time stamp, drabble | AN: lowkey this is kind of cute| LIBRARY FOR MORE...

AS YOU SLOWLY AWAKEN from your peaceful slumber, the gentle morning light filtering through the curtains. You turn over, greeted by the sight of Jungwon, already awake and watching you with a soft smile that could rival the sunrise itself.

"Good morning, pretty girl," he murmurs, his voice a soothing melody.

A smile tugs at your lips in response to his soft voice. "Good morning, pretty boy," you whisper back.

Jungwon reaches out, brushing his thumb over your cheek in a gesture so gentle. "You're beautiful," he says softly, his eyes filled with love as he gazes at you.

Your heart flutters at his words, warmth blooming within you like flowers in the spring. "And you're so perfect," you reply, your voice sweet and quiet.

Leaning closer, Jungwon presses a soft kiss to your forehead, his lips tender against your skin. "I could repeat this moments 100 times and I wouldn't be tired of it," he whispers, his breath warm against your ear.

You wrap your arms around him, pulling him close until you're enveloped in each other's embrace. "Me too," you nodded.

In that moment, with Jungwon's soft kisses and the gentle brush of his thumb against your cheek, you realize just how lucky you are to have him by your side.

who eveb am I to get woken up by them 😔

waking you up

꒰◞ ◟𐙚 ꒱ ・ 엔하이픈 + femreader ？ fluff established relationship warning not-proofread skinship kissing petnames & 700 — #bookshelf

notes. blank

heeseung would not be trusted by you, to wake you up or anything that is bed related— you'd not even trust him enough when it comes to get out of bed on his own. and, even when he'd get out of bed alone, without you promising kisses afterwards, he wouldn't be able to wake you up. see, he would start well, shaking you a bit and whispering a “baby, it's time to get up..” you'd whine once and he'd give up immediately. he'd even settle himself under the covers and take your sleepy self in his embrace, “okay, five more..” the ‘minutes’ would go unspoken as he'd immediately fall asleep.

jongseong would be so, so, so tender with it. he'd sit on the edge of the bed, caress your cheek with his knuckles and, bend over to gently tell you that it's time. “princess, it's time to get out of bed.” he'd smile fondly smile when you start to whine and pull the cover over your head, using it as a barrier to block his voice from entering your ears and the sunlight from reaching your closed eyes. he wouldn't give up, he'd softly remove the cover from your face, “come one, i made breakfast for us.” he'd say. he'd help you get out of bed and hold your hand to lead you to the kitchen.

jaeyun would try to be as supportive as possible, also so careful. he'd open the shutter of your room a tad, just so a few rays of sunlight can reach you and prepare you to be woke up by him. he'd sit on the edge of the bed, passing his hand in your hair softly— he'd smile when you hum at his touch. “get out of bed, my love. we have a busy day today.” his hand in your hair added to his voice, would make you open your eyes. his pretty face would be the first thing you'd see. kissing your forehead in the most gentle way possible, he'd greet you.

sunghoon would have an heartache just by the thought of waking you up, he knows you want to sleep and, he'd find you so peaceful and pretty. if you are sleeping in the back, he'd put his hand on your back and start to rub it— with love and affection. “pretty, it's time to wake up.” he'd bend, so he can attain your ear and you'd smile at the warmth of his breath against your skin. he'd keep rubbing your back until you decide to get out of bed, as if it was a massage; he loves to watch your satisfied expression as he keeps going.

seonwoo would wake you up as soon as he gets up, as he loves for the both of you to get ready together. he'd be gentle with the way he does it, taking you in his embrace— mind still clouded by sleep, he'd stay still for a moment, allowing your warmth and his to hug each other. “sweetheart,” he'd whisper, voice deep and hoarse because of his sleepy self. “it's time to wake up..” you'd whine something along the line of ‘ten more minutes’ and, he'd tell you to not be lazy, “we can cuddle on the couch, after getting ready.”

jungwon would wake you up with kisses— sweetly all over you face. to be completely honest, he would most likely get on top of you at the very first. he'd put his whole weight on you, “get off of me, jungwon..” you'd whine, desperately trying to push him off but, the fact that you wouldn't even be fully awake wouldn't help anything. then, he'd start planting kisses all over your face to make your forget the fact he laying on you. it'd work of course, you'd start giggling like an idiot.

riki would be extremely patient and extremely caring when it comes to waking you up— especially if you tend to get grumpy and moody when you get woken up in the wrong way. simply, he wouldn't appreciate the idea of you starting your day the wrong way because of him. he'd kneel infront of the bed, putting one arm on the edge of it while is other arm extend so his arm can reach your hair. he'd smile when you start to move, eyes focused on your pretty face, “babe, come on.. let's eat breakfast together.”

taglist open ❕ @manooffline @ibsysbsfsunsbs @nwjws @lilriswife4life @alaezasmystery235 @teddywonss @tyussday @cholexxc @flickqr @yuviqik @wvnrqs @strawberrywonz @aleiouvre @y-ves @isawritesss @run2x networks ❔ @kflixnet @k-films @/k-labels

JUST CRYING FOR LAYLA AT THIS POINT

sim jaeyun — brighter days inc.

— “you’ll wait for my love? “i waited for your love.”

pairing. fem!reader x sim jaeyun.

warnings. angst, my heaviest angst post yet tbh, fluff moments here & there, layla !!, lots of miscommunication, lots of crying and panicking moments, no / semi happy ending :(

word count. 12.3k

synopsis. just how bad was the punishment of falling in love with sim jaeyun?

— a, note. i apologise in advance for this, i would like to point out that this was completely and fully inspired by the we can’t be friends music video along with the entire eternal sunshine album by ariana !! i only added minor details & scenes here and there but hope u enjoy ! <3 p.s !! this whole post is viewed better in dark mode !!

「 just wanna let this story die, and i’ll be alright. 」

The soft fabric of your shirt soothed your trembling fingers, gentle wind breezing past you once the bell of the door jingled ahead of you, indicating the arrival of another patient wretched with agony and their own pain.

Your vision danced between the walls, the countless photos that hung on the brick pillars claiming a guaranteed peace of mind with the eye catching and loud titles of “brighter days ahead!”, different posters inked with the participants’ positive reviews towards the operation that haunted the patients whom were anxiously sat next to you, some wiping their tears while others gazed hopelessly into the wooden floors, their legs shaking up and down the longer the nurse took to call their names.

You pulled your jacket closer to your chest, in hopes of it protecting you from the words printed onto the paper in front of you, you had read the sentences over a hundred times by now yet you still couldn’t bring yourself to fully accept them.

You have given extensive thought behind your decision and give “Brighter Days Inc.” the exclusive permission to remove this person completely from your memory:

— ☐ yes | ☐ no

Closing your eyes multiple times while chanting “please let me wake up” was deemed futile, you couldn’t bring yourself to face the reality of the situation you had put yourself in. Though you had your reasons, countless of them. You had every right to sit in the waiting room for this clinic, yet you still couldn’t gather up the courage to fully accept the weight of the truth.

The great weight of the truth that weighed heavily on your shoulders, you knew this was the correct decision. You knew you weren’t physically affecting anyone by doing this, you practically weren’t going to hurt after this, yet your actions still hurt the present you, the one who was able to sense a thin veil of tears forming along her waterline for the nth time since you stepped foot into this clinic.

And you were doing this to save her from the pain, from the heartbreak you had been suffering through. The harsh wood of the board felt hurtful against your skin, the piece of wood agonisingly heavy atop your fingertips, your hand placed the pen in your lap before it instinctively moved towards your neck, caressing the special pine cone necklace that adorned your chest.

The feeling of the pendant beneath your touch felt gut wrenching, your whole being freezing as the sudden sharp edges grazed your skin, the pendant that held so many great memories to you that you hoped would comfort you for the last time felt like the thorns of a rose splitting your fingertips.

It was the sudden sharp dig of the edge of the pine that reminded you of a precious memory, one of the most special days in your life when your two favourite people walked into it.

Your foot sunk deeply into the snow beneath you, the wind a cold breeze blowing against your blushed face, your nose a distinct red shade as you sniffed due to the cold weather, hands digging further into your warm pockets to allow the blood to rush back to your frozen fingertips.

The breath turned into a glowing mist ahead of your eyes as it tumbled past your lips, you smiled softly at the sound of your best friend announcing her departure to collect more wood for the fireplace the two of you had wanted to create, you turned your head to the side to locate her small figure slowly disappearing into the slight fog that started to form a few minutes before the two of you had arrived to the small forest.

You took notice of how heavy the snow was, the ground a vast white that glittered with the sunrays, the sudden urge to lay on the floor that appeared as faux clouds and cotton overcame your senses and before you could rethink your decisions, you were already surrounded by the comforting cold of the snow hugging your every limb and every inch of your body.

Memories of your childhood flashed through your eyes, the happy moments that were filled with laughter exchanged between you and your friend as the two of you made snow angels, joyful giggles flew in the air around you once you both stood up to compare the shapes to one another and chuckle at the ridiculous outcomes.

Before you could fully indulge yourself in the memory, you felt a foreign object pressing against your foot, your eyes shot downwards to the sight of a dark circular item— a pine cone?

Your heartbeat unexpectedly picked up its pace, was there someone around? You weren’t in an area that had pine trees around them, they were atleast a few miles away from you.

Loud rustling reached your ears from ahead, what sounded like a person quickly walking— in an abnormally fast way that made you prepare yourself for the appearance of any random person, your senses heightening at the possible danger awaiting, the shadow slowly appeared in front of the fog, a really short one that confused you.

Once the mist finally had dispersed, revealing the last outcome you had been expecting— an adorable puppy that jumped its way through the snow, you stared at the shimmering fur that had gotten covered with small bits of the sparkling snow, the puppy barked at you in excitement, their tail swaying behind them in the snow while their shining eyes studied your face.

Your hands held onto the pine cone, a smile stretching out on your face once you noticed that the puppy was waiting for you to return the item, sitting in front of you patiently in a well behaved manner, a clear indication of how attentive and careful their owner is.

“Is this yours, hm?” You questioned, voice playful and low in fear of possibly disturbing the overly excited puppy who only barked in delight at your question, and as your hand was reaching forward to return the beloved pine cone, you and the sweet puppy’s ears picked up the distressed yells a large distance away.

The puppy turned its body towards the direction it came from, breathing the cold air in before barking countless times as if to signal their location and on cue the rushed footsteps that dug into the snow approached your figures closer.

“There you are, Layla.” A young boy appeared from between the twinkling mist, his features sharp and eye catching the closer he walked towards both of you, a charming smile etching its way onto his chiseled face at the sight of his beloved dog, “I was getting worried, pretty girl.” He breathed out in relief before finally noticing your presence.

His back suddenly straightened, shoulders pulling back while his eyes widened before the prettiest pink you’ve ever seen dusted his ears and cheeks, “oh hi.” He breathed out shyly, he could feel his heartbeat drumming in his ears as the last thing he was expecting to find Layla next to was a gorgeous girl.

You couldn’t help the quickened thump of your own heart either, the appearance of this young guy that was clad in a large dark coat, black pants along with a matching hat that revealed small peaks of his dark brown hair had your mind reeling, he was undeniably handsome.

“hello.” You whispered back, instinctively holding the pine cone towards your chest as holding eye contact with the beautiful man only made your body buzz further with excitement and nervousness, the guy also losing his internal battle with the possibility of facing you as his eyes had only been following his dog’s moving tail in hopes of calming his own nerves down.

The said puppy’s gaze danced between her owner and the new friend, unfamiliar with her owner’s sudden shy side appearing in front of a potential friend making her suspicions arise, and the moment she was about to bark in the direction of her owner once again, the guy spoke out.

“Did she tackle you onto the floor?” He asked, tone laced with concern at the realisation of your position on the snow while you held the pine cone in your hand, “no!” You quickly denied once you lifted your head and saw his worried expression, thousands of apologies disappeared from his tongue at your words and he couldn’t help but breathe another sigh of relief, “I’m actually making… snow angels.” Your voice had dropped a few octaves towards the end.

Quieting your own words to hide them from the handsome guy that you prayed wouldn’t make fun of you for your childish behaviour from your first ever encounter, you were preparing yourself for the worst reaction to slap you across the face and for his laughter to reach your ears yet— “oh I love snow angels!” His excited voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

You turned to face him again, to see the genuine excitement and fondness lacing his face before patting the snow next to you, a warm smile gracing your features that made the unknown boy’s heart to leap in his chest, “come join me!”

The loud ring of the bell harshly pulled you out of the sweet memory into the reality you had been dreading, all of your senses returning to the present made a sinking feeling take over your heart, by the time you leave this place you won’t be able to remember this precious memory.

Your hand instinctively wrapped around the pine cone, in attempt to protect and shield it from the possibility of disappearing, the idea of one of the most precious days of your life dissipating from your memory lane made your shoulders sink further, the anxious feeling of pure unease settled deeply into your bones, and before you were able to prepare yourself further, you felt your throat closing up.

And as if your own body had turned its back towards you, your gaze had shifted beneath the cursed words to the bottom of the paper, where a clear and bold line awaited your pen to grace upon it.

signature: ________

Your vision then travelled towards the boxes, the finality of your decision settling into your limbs when your hand finally moved from your necklace to hold onto the pen again, and with a heavy heart along with a new veil of tears aligning your eyes, you finally allowed the first drop of ink to land on the paper.

☒ yes | ☐ no

The wind around you turned colder, it felt as if the breeze was scolding you for such decisions, the guilt by now had started to eat you up alive, tainting your brain and choking you up on your own unshed tears, you tried to breathe in deeply, attempting to calm your heaving chest down as with each passing second you felt your lungs constricting further.

“Miss, are you ready?” The nurse had suddenly appeared next to you, caring and worried eyes scanning your shaky figure on the seat, knuckles white around the wooden board that held your signature and confirmation for the procedure, your head lowered in shame of the sight of your tears being revealed, though all the hurt was evident in your body language.

“This way, miss.” She quickly guided you towards the office, your hand reached out to carry the box next to you, the cardboard that contained all of your memories that were stuffed into items, her hand reached out to hold the trembling board from your weak one while the other hovered around your lower back, bringing an odd sense of comfort for you as your feet walked you towards your own heartbreak.

The walls of the office appeared cold to the touch, the solid floor beneath you brought the aura of seriousness for you, almost as if awakening you from your hurtful thoughts to the reality of the situation, there was no turning back now. Then with each step that you took towards the chair, memories of this morning took over your mind.

Layla, your precious puppy sat ahead of your crouched figure in front of the bed, you sat atop the mattress that felt so unwelcoming, so foreign to you, as if you hadn’t slept multiple times between the same sheets with your love before.

Your puppy was cautious, big shining eyes studying every tear drop that ascended down the curve of your cheekbone, her own body slouching with each sob that wrecked through your body, “I’m sorry.” The yellow light from your bedside table casted a soft glow on both of your small figures, Layla reached towards you, one of her paws landing besides you on the bed as she lifted herself up while the other was placed gently against your leg.

“I can’t continue staying here, baby.” You explained to her, with each break in your voice her ears dropped lower, the sadness and confusion evident all over her adorable face, long gone was the look of excitement and pure love that painted her face whenever she saw you, as if she was able to understand your words she pushed her fluffy body towards you more.

“I can’t be with you, or jaeyun anymore.” You whispered, sweaty and cold palms reached out towards her small face, her golden fur comforting you as it brushed against your skin, you allowed her loving presence to curtain over the overwhelming sense of fright that your stomach was unable to digest, her familiar scent coating your senses bringing a feeling of ease into your panicked state.

“I love you so much.” You whispered to your little cupid, the one who had brought you together with your first true love. The one who had unknowingly brought so much happiness and joy to your dull life with her and her father’s presence.

“Are you ready, miss?” The doctor called out, dragging you out from the reality that only existed in your head now, a cloud of doom now hovered above your head as there was no space to return back to, this was it. That was your last time with Layla, ever.

The pill of the reminder suddenly seemed to large to swallow, the thought of an eternal separation from your beloved little cupid felt agonising to you, the tightening in your chest worsened, your fingers dug into your own palm to cause the tiniest bit of satisfaction when the pain travelled throughout your nerves, you deserved this.

You had known this was the correct decision a long time ago, this was the only way you had been able to save yourself but god how could you be so selfish at the same time? How could you leave two very important people behind you and live in eternal bliss? You heart began to thunder against your ribs, each thump begging you to return, to turn back on your footsteps and go back home.

To return to your love, to your small family, to endure the pain and the sting of the knowledge that jaeyun would never view you the way you had done.

To return to your angel, the one who sat by the door with her tail swaying behind her excitedly at the sight of the door opening, in hopes of a possible walk with her best friend, then her tail suddenly paused atop the wooden floor while her pointy and excited ears dropped, breaking your heart when you crouched down to kiss her head for the final time, in hopes of your feelings conveying to her through the loving contact, atleast for the last time.

You knew the love you held for him had to be dissipated. Though the pure, innocent adoration and devotion your heart carried for him didn’t deserve to be gone. Yet it wasn’t worth putting Jaeyun through possible pain and suffering.

If only you had known from the start that this was the consequence of your actions of inviting Jaeyun to create snow angels with you on that morning would lead you to the punishment of falling in love with Jaeyun, you would’ve never stepped foot into the snow that day.

The doctor held your hand gently, his eyes held nothing but sympathy and pity for you, your fingers pale and shaky in his hold as he placed the small device on your index finger, the pulse reader instantly showing your quickened heartbeat on the screen, “the procedure is going to be a quick and painless one…” the doctor’s words echoed throughout your eardrums, each word drifting off from one ear to the other as your vision was stuck on the numbers constantly picking up.

As if a chain had been tightened around your neck, your throat closed up further, you suppressed every sob that threatened to escape from you, your feet had gotten numb on the chair at some point while you shut your eyes with reassuring words replaying in your head in attempts to soothe yourself, yet each one was being repeated atop of an image of a smiling jaeyun behind your closed eyes.

The nurse behind you had brought the two iron pieces closer to your temples, each one glowing with a red light, indicating the disconnection while they approached your skin, and once both pieces were attached to you as if they were pieces of magnets, your heart only sunk further in your body.

The doctor exchanged incoherent words with the nurse that your ears weren’t able to comprehend, your senses only picking up the constant beeping of the monitor, each beat picked up its speed, symbolising how your heart was beating rapidly at the thought of your one and only love, at the thought of losing him entirely in less than a few minutes.

Your eyes then landed on the screen besides you, blue lights blinding your sight as you took in the multiple tabs open on the screen with “generating link” as the largest one, the percentage increased quickly, each number made your breath turn shorter as the gravity was finally settling in, the small sting that you felt on the sides of your head was incomparable to the ache of your heart, still filled with so much useless hope after all these months.

“Are you ready?” The doctor asked, a consoling smile etched onto his features, you nodded quickly, eager to get the procedure done with now before your weak heart convinced you to run outside of this clinic and into the arms of the man you fell in love with.

“Alright then.. we should be starting…” the doctor’s voice slowly disappeared, his words gradually faded away from you as your eyes remained shut while the machine forced you to a trip down your beloved memory lane, your memory path that was dedicated for sim jaeyun only.

The first memory you had shared with him after your first encounter played in front of your closed eyes, you remembered this one in a crystal clear way, the sight of you and Jaeyun walking hand in hand was imprinted onto the back of your eyelids, the familiar sight making your heart jump into your throat.

“I’m gonna win you the teddy bear!” Jaeyun shouted excitedly as he walked, his grip on your hand firm yet gentle while he made his way through the crowd in the carnival, rushing towards the claw machine quickly, bumping into random people every few seconds making you laugh at his enthusiasm, unaware of jaeyun’s heart thundering in his chest at the sound of your laughter.

“You really don’t have to, Jake.” You rushed besides him and the second the baby blue and pink lights of the machine landed on your smiling face he felt his breath hitching in his throat, your shining eyes presenting as windows to your excitement and pure joy you felt besides him made his heart leap in his chest, “but i want to.” he breathed out gently, mesmerised besides your distracted frame.

your eyes studied the glass window curiously, jaeyun was confused as to why he could tell exactly when your eyes landed on the teddy bear he mentioned, confused as to why he was able to study all of your expressions so well so soon, to why they mattered and intrigued him so much, surely the fleeing thought of cradling your face gently into his arms was an intrusive one, and totally not because of his own feelings and urge to do so, right?

his hands reached out to push his coin into the slot before reaching towards the small handle, his fingers buzzed with excitement and anxiety, the need to win this teddy bear for you chanting throughout his mind as he lowered the claw onto the fluffy toy, and once the iron claws wrapped around the bear, your hand sneaked its way between both of your figures to lace with his fingers, a soft squeeze of encouragement that made the boy’s heart thump needily.

“You got it, jake!” you beamed from besides him, you quickly held the fluffy toy in your arms, hugging the precious teddy close to you, the sight making jake’s world slow down its rotation, his heart jumping into his throat as he took in the sight of your happy expression, your sweet and thankful words falling onto his ear before they travelled out the other, he was hypnotised, your happiness casting a spell on him effortlessly.

“Jaeyun..” he suddenly breathed out, snapping back into reality with a soft, loving smiling permanently etching its way onto his face, “hmm?” You questioned, moving your sparkling eyes from the toy to his handsome face, his sweet grin made rose dust along your cheeks, he reached out to hold your hand before he spoke out again, “call me jaeyun.”

“Okay, jaeyun.” You chuckled affectionately at him, one hand intertwined with his slender fingers while the other held the teddy close to your heart, “what are you going to name it?” His eyes dropped back onto the teddy, quickly switching the topic as his heart felt like it was on the verge of exploding the longer he drowned in the ocean of your eyes.

“Jakey.” You smiled at the sight of his eyes widening, eyebrows lifting as he audibly laughed, the sound ringing like melodies in your ears. The view of him blushing and laughing under the stars becoming your favourite in that instant as everything else around you blurred and your sole focus was on him and only him.

“Let’s take you and Jakey to the ferris wheel then.” He joked before walking towards the said ride, fingers still laced with yours as he pulled your shy figure gently to follow him throughout the crowd.

And suddenly with a mere blink you were stuck in the middle of moving bodies, one hand unbearably cold while the other held onto a teddy, confusion laced your expression as the lights of the ferris wheel glowed ahead of you, why were you here in the first place?

Just like that, Jaeyun disappeared from a precious memory that belonged to you.

Your surroundings in front of the ferris wheel darkened, a small circle of light engulfing you before your dissociated out from the memory, you had your eyes closed shut, not daring to open them when all you could hear was the murmurs of the doctor and the nurse confirming the removal in the first memory.

All you could detect was the consistent sinking and pain aching in your heart, the dizziness in your head as you altered your memories and forcefully removed the only person who you ever truly loved in your life, the agony from the thought so great that it allowed new streaks of tears to decorate your skin.

And as you let out another shaky breath, you were pushed into another memory.

The harsh breeze of the wind grazed jaeyun’s skin while his teeth chattered slightly at the icy stabs along his arms, he quickly moved from the sidewalk to the empty road that accompanied the ray of sunlight courtesy to the shorter buildings next to it.

His shoulders relaxed at the warmth that travelled his system, his fingers didn’t feel like they were about to fall off anymore the longer he kept them pushed into his pockets under the sun, he relished in the vast difference between the cold breeze and the warm sunlight, a weird sense of soothe scurrying into his mind.

The comparison was awfully familiar, yet he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it reminded him of.

Nonetheless he continued walking, making the final turn that allowed the sight of his house to enter his line of vision, his insides buzzed with worry and excitement at seeing you again, your appearance always brought him solace especially when he walked into the view of you playing with Layla happily in the living room.

Yet whenever he remembered the position both of you were stuck in regarding your importance in his life, his mind got jumbled with negativity and worry again.

But he was determined that tonight was going to make a difference.

Especially with the apology he had spent days memorising, his finger brushed against the small box in his pocket that brought an unexpected but welcomed wave of positivity for him, it was the first time that he felt so confident in himself with something that involved both of you.

The slight graze of the velvet against his skin reminded him of the way your skin felt against his, the sunlight that glowed atop his honey skin beautifully reminded him of the warmth your love provided for him, oh how he adored you.

And there was jaeyun, finally walking towards his door with a pep in his step, his chest feeling ridiculously lighter while the blood rushed to his face at the thought of you in front of his eyes.

His shaky fingers wrapped around the handle before pushing the large piece of wood, layla instantly greeting him at the door with a welcoming woof of her own, making him smile widely.

“Hello my princess,” he spoke with a soft voice, kneeling down to pet her after closing the door behind him, all worrisome thoughts disappearing from his brain the second her soft fur nuzzled against his palms, he chuckled at all of her licks against his cheeks, turning his head as he giggled and unknowingly seeing your missing shoes on the floor.

Confusion wrapped around his head as a weird, unnerving emotion settled into his stomach, he quickly looked around the living room for any sight of you only to be left further confused since you hadn’t told him about leaving the house today.

“Is she not home?” He questioned layla, his glossy eyes returning to the puppy who visibly lost all of her enthusiasm, quieting down and only licking at his palm in hopes of bringing some sort of comfort to her owner the longer he desperately searched for any sign of you.

“It’s alright,” he walked towards the living room, a sudden wave of dizziness crawling its way to his conscious, he involuntarily closed his eyes at the unexpected pain while his feet quickly led him towards the couch with a worried layla trailing behind him, “she’ll come back.” He whispered, comforting himself while his hands reached to hold onto his head.

And before he could realise, he laid onto the soft fabric of his couch as a wave of sleep took over him while his consciousness drifted. Unbeknownst to him, that would’ve been the last time he would remember you.

「 i don’t wanna tip toe but i don’t wanna hide. 」

The doctor’s hands paced around his instruments panically, your soft sniffles ringing in both his and the nurse’s ears as their heart broke for the nth time that day at the sight of the memory on the screen of their computer, the memory that held an immense amount of pain as the only thing you could focus on in that moment was the view of jaeyun sitting down next to a random girl, his arm wrapped around her shoulders while she turned her head to the side to quickly peck his jaw.

“Is that not.. jake?” Your friend asked from besides you, her eyes widening at the sight of the guy who captured your heart huddled next to an unknown girl by a cafe’s window, the view inevitably catching your gaze too as your brain almost shut down at that moment.

“It is.” You whispered in confirmation, the cobbled stone beneath your feet glued you atop of it while your world slowed down, just like your first encounter— you felt everything around you slowly dissolve till your sole focus was on jaeyun with a random woman.

You friend thankfully picked up your irregular breathing, and she was sure if she had listened close enough she would’ve also been able to hear the sound of your heart shattering into countless pieces while your face was an open window to your emotions.

The feeling of your stomach sinking completely brought you back into reality, the situation was laughable really, just a few weeks ago he seemed too shy to even hold your hand yet here he was now with his arm around another woman.

He might’ve not been able to hold eye contact with you just a few weeks ago, but right now he was able to laugh at the top of his lungs at what looked like a joke the woman said.

“Let’s go.” Your friend sternly announced, holding your hand the second she noticed your eyes swelling up with tears and quickly pulled you to walk into a different alleyway while jaeyun slowly disappeared in the background, leaving the random woman to sit alone in your memory before you quickly tumbled into another one.

Your vision began to slowly clear, another memory opening up ahead of you as you felt yourself getting lost in your emotions regarding this whole procedure.

The aroma of the coffee was pungent in the living room, wafting through the air accompanied by the sweet scent of cinnamon, Layla’s sweet coos and quiet noises of approval and support kept you company and sane after witnessing the man your heart thrummed for wrapped up in the arms of another woman.

Due to the unending conflict and doubts eating away at your mind, resulting in a very upset you and a worried Layla to walk around the house to distract yourself, and the perfect distraction did you find when your feet dragged you into the kitchen.

“I guess it’s just me and you.” Expressing yourself to Layla had always been something that came very easily to you, she was your closest friend at the moment after all. Always by your side to comfort you whether it was by cuddling you with your tears landing like rain drops on her soft fur till you fell asleep or by urging you to play with her and get your mind off her dad.

And right as you were about to move the few pastries from the tray onto the plate on the counter, you and Layla’s ears picked up the familiar and dreadful sound of the door being opened, announcing Jake’s arrival with the loud creak of the wood once he pushed it forward.

As expected, the air that carried the dizzying scent of your pastry was suddenly filled with tension. As if each golden particle of the sweets that travelled through the air while carrying your love transformed into a harsh droplet of ice, the atmosphere further thickening uncomfortably when the boy walked inside of the kitchen to the sight of you in front of the counter with your puppy nuzzling to your leg.

“That smells amazing..” he muttered, feeling shy and small when faced with your stiff back, and he knew he deserved the treatment that you had for him, he knew that you had seen him with someone else. Yet he didn’t have the heart to even think about bringing up that conversation, deciding by his own that stuffing the confrontation into a small box and pushing it far away to a corner in his mind was for the best now.

“Thank you.” Your response was curt, almost monotone with the way you tried your best to not have whatever conversation between you two last longer, his presence alone was suffocating enough for you, you didn’t have the heart to face him.

And jaeyun of course noticed all of this, he noticed the way your back was still faced towards him. A clear and painfully obvious contrast from the way you used to greet him with a loving hug and sometimes even a sweet, shy kiss to his cheek if you were really in the mood for it. The memories of those adoring welcomes will always eat away at his conscience, a constant reminder of what he lost.

But was jaeyun going to ask you to talk with him so both of you could finally address the invisible tornado of unspoken emotions in the room? Of course no.

“I was wondering if you…” he trailed off, voice quiet and almost hesitant in approaching you, and his doubts began to gnaw at his heart when your shoulders tensed further, his anxiety made his tone even more jittery when he continued “want to spend some time with me..?” The final syllable was a mere whisper.

Jaeyun felt the distance between you both panicking, he’s never felt you so far away and unreachable for him even though he knew the reason but his fear of rejection and possible failure was overpowering his logical idea of actually hearing your side and confessing his own thoughts, deciding alone for both of you that the best approach to this situation was not acknowledging it in the first place.

“It snowed yesterday, you know.” He pushed his coldly sweaty hands into the pocket of his sweatpants, he could unwillingly hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears, his frame was apprehensive as he kept switching his weight from one foot to another while awaiting for your answer, fearful from you declining his offer before he even finished off, “so.. wanna make snow angels?”

He let himself loose, letting go from all of his previous uncertainty and revealing a sweet smile when you finally turned around to face him, a ghost of a grin on your features that never failed to set his chest on fire and make his mind reel, a simple “okay.” had jaeyun over the moon.

Even if Jaeyun was undeserving of your acceptance to his offer, even if this whole action will have a returning moment that will bite you both deeply but in that specific second the need to be wrapped in each other’s warmth surpassed any other feeling you both could have thought of.

And after minutes of being avoidant, hours of steering away from the unavowed storm of words that needed to be exchanged between your two souls to hopefully ignite some sort of hope for your love, after a day full of your eternal bliss in ignorance where you two played into the parts of loving partners that you had formed in your head that was far, way too far from your reality.

You found yourself tangled beneath the satin sheets, clad in your love’s shirt while he laid on his side to face you, every element surrounding you in this current atmosphere was a very clear display of love, of intimacy and devotion that circled the two of you.

With every intrusive thought of just how many times he’s been in this exact position with another woman that you pushed into the back of your head, your grip on his fingers tightened, it was almost driving you insane. The uncertainty and insecurity in your placement in his life was so evident for jaeyun in your actions, and it made his heart ache.

Further proving that he’s not the one for you, because of his undying need to comfort you and whisper his love for you in your ears to wash away all the bad voices in your head that were pushing you to believe that you were the complete opposite of what he saw.

Someone who deserved the utmost love the entire universe could be able to forge and give.

And out of nowhere, the forbidden three words craved their way onto his tongue, jaeyun’s heart leaped into his throat with the suddenly controlling urge to declare his love for you, his love that bursted inside of every vein of his and made his heart thunder between his ribs.

“I..” he unconsciously started, his tone a mere whisper that made your eyes widen, your fingers froze around him making him realise his own words, breath knocked out from his lungs at his own voice that was wavering. So full of emotion, carrying each and every ounce of combined fear and love that he held for you, there was no going back now, he thought.

“I lov—“ and his words were lost in the air, jaeyun was abruptly pulled away once again, vanishing from the other side of the bed and leaving no trace behind him, you sat up in shock at his unexpected disappearance, your chest rising and falling rapidly when he evanesced wholly.

The confusion only settled in a few moments later, why were you sitting on bed and searching for someone? And what was with the sinking and dreadful feeling in your stomach?

Before you could dwell in your turmoil further, a different scene of your memories started to play ahead, it was the day after.

「 and no matter how easy things could be if i did. 」

The scent of the blooming flowers of spring around the cafe distracted you from your friend’s disappointed gaze, her movements with the spoon that mixed the coffee with the cream halted before she cleared her throat, successfully garnering your attention and allowing you to see her dissatisfaction with your situation in only her eyes.

“How muc—“ “listen.” You cut her off, aware of the way that she was about to give you advice for the umpteenth time, to convince and coax you to leave, you felt used to it at this point. Her meaningful words failed to penetrate the wall you had built around yourself regarding anything that was related to jaeyun.

Her hope diminished further when she saw your tired eyes still overflowing with love, the neglect and exhaustion evident in your features, the lack of attention and reciprocation of love from jaeyun was crystal clear to your friend, she absolutely hated seeing you like this.

But she knew that Jaeyun had you wrapped around his finger, your heart drummed for him in a symphony created for only him. She knew that if your love was an ocean then you had drowned a long time ago.

The similarities between you two was almost frustrating for her, as if you both were created from the same soul blown into two different bodies, the love you held for each other heavy, intense and impactful yet you both cowered when faced with the mere possibilities of confession and rejection, far too afraid to lose one another and unaware of the fact that you both were slipping from between the other’s fingers.

“I know.” You whispered, voice barely audible beneath the chatter of everyone around you in the cafe, your heavy lidded eyes stayed on the cheesecake your friend convinced you to order as you felt no appetite, your stomach finding more comfort with the feeling of ache and longing than anything else.

“But I can’t do anything.” Your words broke towards the end, lowering your head in desperate attempt to hide away your glossy eyes from your friend that felt her heart shatter at your frail and weak frame, “I can’t force myself to not love him.” And before you broke down further, your friend’s arms wrapped around you and pulled you into her comfort.

And the feeling of her love and whispers calming you down and engulfing you settled a short moment of peace into your chest before your sight shifted into another memory.

The reminder of why you were here in the first place rang in your head when you finally entered the most dreaded one.

You didn’t want all of your happy memories to fill your being with sorrow, you didn’t want to grieve over a person who you saw everyday, he lived his life before your very own eyes, his every breath that called out to another girl, confessed his love to another woman whom you wished and hoped would become you one day matched with your every breath that called out to him.

Every day and every night your lips refused to not hold hope for his response, till the syllables of his own name tasted foreign on your tongue. they tasted bitter to you, not the familiar sweetness you felt when you had called out to him in the first few months of his delightful presence in your life.

The lightness you felt in you had turned into the constriction of your chest on you, the heavy weight atop your ribs felt as if they were pushing against your heart, punishing it for being so reckless and careless to fall in love with the only man you weren’t meant to be with.

Now each beat of your heart that you were convinced thundered for him, felt like hell breaking loose in between your veins, the burst of ecstasy and excitement had all dulled down to aches of anguish and despair.

And before you knew it, the rush of joy that ascended throughout your body had transformed to absolute misery.

Here you were again, in another painful memory. The mattress sank softly at your weight when you gathered the courage to face your love and your fear, though you weren’t quite sure when those two interlinked.

You knew love was never supposed to be fearful, the unblemished love your heart had held for the boy who had his back turned towards you on the bed was not supposed to frighten your mind with dread of the outcome of tonight.

Jaeyun was on the other side of the bed, huddled beneath the blanket as if using the fabric to protect himself from his surroundings, hiding away from the reality and the truth that awaited him with impatience, “jake..” you whispered, voice low as you tested the waters and longed for any sort of reaction from him.

Yet he remained stoic atop the sheets.

From your perspective, jaeyun appeared so close yet so far away and out of your reach, as the days passed by he pulled further from your grasp, backing away from the same hold that once brought comfort to his distraught conscience, as if the graze of your fingertips burned him.

And before you were able to realise it jaeyun was too far away, standing a large distance far from the circle that contained your warmth, where you stayed. Both of your beings were suddenly standing in a parallel line with no signs of interlacing in a messy circle once again.

You weren’t exactly sure when both of your hearts had gotten intertwined so awfully to one another, a tangled web forming between your ribs. Yet it seemed that whatever force connected the two appeared defenceless and weak when faced against the same force that was rapidly pushing your bodies and minds away from each other.

It appeared like the love that poured in every web and vein wasn’t enough to pull your soul against his own.

“We should talk.. we need to.” you breathed out, tone heavy as if you knew he was going to be quick to shut you out once again, but you weren’t sure if you were going to walk away for a safe amount of time before returning to him again this time.

Just how many times have you lived through this exact scenario? And how many times were you willing to do so?

“There’s nothing to talk about.” he replied through gritted teeth, closing his eyes once he felt the familiar burn around his iris, and there it was. the same answer you had memorised yet so desperately tried to forget, it left a bittersweet feeling to your moment, you were expecting it and the melancholy of hearing it again settled into your emotions.

Instinctively, you turned your head towards him. Your eyes tracing every tense muscle beneath his shirt, the rigidness of his shoulders as he appeared uncomfortable in his own room and god was the thought a punch to your gut when the possibility of your presence making him uneasy crawled its way into your brain.

And the guilt returned to your system immediately, “i’m sorry.” you spoke, words dragged from your strained and tightened throat as you desperately wanted to sprint into the bathroom before a sob fell from your lips. You felt pathetic, really. His coldness and curt replies never affected you as much as this one, maybe it was because you knew this was going to be your last attempt.

With your eyes unfocused on your surroundings, your feet pushed the door of the bathroom behind you before you leaned onto the wall for strength. And unbeknownst to you, jaeyun finally let out a shaky breath fall from between his bruised and bitten lips, allowing all the tears to spill past his skin, the same skin you so lovingly kissed just a few months ago, and now the mere thought of your lips against him was shredding his own emotions apart.

Jaeyun knew that with every harsh word he spoke, he was also single-handedly ripping apart every web between your hearts.

The pale blue moonlight illuminated the room, landing directly on the empty spot in the middle of the bed, as if asking for one of your tense bodies to move towards one another, yet both of you remained with your backs against eachother. Jaeyun was slowly counting the seconds, he knew the exact amount of minutes it took you to fall asleep by now as he had repeated the same routine every night, except this time your breathing was taking longer to deepen than it was supposed to.

That was until he heard a quiet sniffle ring in his ears.

He froze atop the cold sheets, the sound echoing in his mind as if it was tormenting him, the blame and guilt instantly rooting themselves deep in his stomach and extending their branches far in his body, planting themselves fully in his lungs till the point he couldn’t breathe, his breaths turning shallow the more sniffles and quiet cries of heartbreak reached his ears.

The sweat around his palms turned icy, his own body betraying him as he remained paralysed beneath the blanket, his heart screamed at him to go, to move for good for once, fingers itching to turn around and wrap your shaky figure in his hold, to protect you from the demons that were tormenting you both endlessly, yet he couldn’t move.

The louder his heart drummed in his chest to move, the sterner his mind reminded him of how much he deserved this, after all those months of neglect who did he think he was to suddenly switch and turn back towards you? After all those steps he took away from you, how dare he even think of walking back on the same footsteps?

And so he stayed. His body stoic in fear of moving an inch.

He breathed out his first deep breath when he realised that you stopped, when you finally fell asleep and he was able to move and breathe again. Jaeyun wasted no time in getting up from his side of the bed, his feet felt cold against the floor, each step he took towards your side felt heavy on his heart, countless pangs of guilt arrowing themselves directly across his chest at the sight of your sleeping frame hugging the blanket close to you.

The closer he walked towards you, the more he felt the torturous sting in his eyes, he gulped the moment his rigid frame made contact with your blanket, sitting down right next to your small frame. And as he took in the features of your face that he so dearly loved he felt his soul hurting further.

He noticed all the glimmering streaks of tears that aligned your skin, your wet eyelashes that carried and held onto smaller droplets of your pain, the soft redness tainting the tip of your nose matching your cheeks, the longer he stared at you the worse his hands ached to hold you against him.

The comfort of your aura around him had stayed the same, your mere existence around him felt tenderly welcoming to him. The presence that felt like the manifestation of a hug from the whole universe, the warmth that was carefully picked from every star in the galaxy was all provided to him by the heavens in the form of you.

Yet his presence had changed. It had matched yours in the beginning, the presence that was a combination of all galactic bodies, the mere light of his aura challenged the light of the sun and all the stars combined, a glow so bright that rivalled the brilliance of every heavenly titan, he was otherworldly. he was your sunshine.

And now the warmth of the sun had dulled, dissolved into the shell of what he used to be, you thought that maybe each light had its own darkness since even the moon had its own dark side that it was ashamed of turning to show.

His fingertips landed against your soft skin, the disappearance of the coldness from his body the moment it made contact with yours made him melt in front of your sleeping form, and he allowed himself for once to sob all of his pain out.

“I’m sorry..” he whispered, voice breaking as he attempted to convey his emotions once they intensified by the seconds, his misery streaming down his face, “I’m so sorry..” he repeated, the heaviness in his heart worsening at the sight of his tears dripping down onto your blanket, his pain surrounding you once again.

“I wish—“ he gasped for breath, his insides shattering apart the longer he spent next to your frame, “I wish you hated me, so much.” He finally breathed out, his heart stinging with each word, sight blurring further as more tears fell past his cheeks.

“You don’t deserve me, my love.” Jaeyun smiled sadly at your sleeping form, the thought of you receiving the same kind and brave love that you felt for him brought a short-lived happiness to him, he knew he was incapable of reciprocating the adoration that filled you whole because of him.

Jaeyun was scared the second he realised that you had handed your heart over to his hands, he knew his bravery wouldn’t hold enough power to clench his fingertips around your fragile heart, resulting in the delicate and weak item to slip out of his fingers and shatter like countless pieces of glass on the floor.

How he wished he had the courage to love you the same way you loved him, to adore you the same way you adored him, to run back into your warm circle and keep you hidden and protected in his embrace till the end of times, yet he was incapable. His fears and doubts eating away at all the potentials that existed in your heart.

“But I don’t want you to not love me either.” He cried quietly, the thought of you receiving the same love you deserved from someone else destroyed him completely, the visualisation of you smiling the same way you do with him to another man had his hands springing upwards from your skin to grip onto his hair, paining himself in hopes of the torturous image dissipating from his mind.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated once again, his eyes stinging at the continuous hurt his body had bottled up and just got the courage to spill, Jaeyun knew he wasn’t brave enough to show and confess his love to you the way you had done for him, and that fact tugged further on his heartstrings.

The rational part of him hoped aimlessly for a day to arrive where you would realise your worth, realise that jaeyun was still being eaten alive with his fear and doubts and guilt all at the same time, his love for you was overflowing yet he hid each and every bit of it so well.

He knew you deserved better, his rational part always tormenting him with his unworthiness and pushing him further away from you, yet his heart— god his heart couldn’t possibly handle the simple thought of you being away from him.

It was his weak side that still clutched you against him so tightly, the side that was fully and wholly controlled by his emotions that were feral for you, the part of him that desperately ignored all warnings and reminders of his logical side.

Deep down, you knew you and jaeyun were never meant to be. The difference between you and him was vast, similar to the difference of the sand and the ocean, the land and the sky, the moon and the sun. Both parts completing each other while repelling one another at the same time.

You two were never meant to intertwine in the first place.

And even if Jaeyun was finally ready to push every pearl and grain of sand into the ocean, to make the sky fall atop the land and to alter the moon and the sun’s planes’ into a permanent eclipse, it was way too late.

For by the time he wakes up, he won’t even be able to remember you.

The metal pieces on your temples glowed green, indicating another opening for a memory for you, a few days after your despair with jaeyun, where he finally collected all the dispersed courage from his head and went out of his way to make it up to you, inevitably wrapping you both further into his unhealthy cycle of messing up and redeeming himself.

Disregarding the fact that both of your hearts can only take so much. After so much heartbreak and neglect to the core of your soul that only held passion and love towards him, it was bound to give up on trying one day. But you were still loving him. And jaeyun ignored all the voices in his head when they began to claim that your unreciprocated love can’t last that long. Because Jaeyun believed in you.

And maybe it was blinded belief, blurred with his own hope that continued to bloom in his chest, his hope to fix and repair himself as soon as possible so he can present himself to you wholly, even if his time was running thin, even if he didn’t believe in himself, he still found comfort in the small amount of optimism that maybe he can bring the version of him that you adored in your to life.

You both knew that you fell in love with a side of him that he was too afraid to share, too doubtful to uncover and give himself and his most vulnerable parts to, and he knew that he had imprinted himself onto your mind, tattooed his presence onto your heart and he could say that the same implied to himself, it was only a matter of time.

But Jaeyun didn’t know that the longer he was taking to mend himself, he was breaking you further. Just how much longer were you supposed to wait for him to walk back and finally engulf you in his arms again? How much longer was he expecting you to wait while he cured himself? How much longer were you supposed to wait for his love? Unmindful of the way that you, yourself needed to heal as well.

Yet here you were, hand laced with jaeyun’s as he pulled you towards the dining room in the house, his excited giggles rang throughout the walls before the sound got trapped in your head and repeated continuously, your legs moved you in front of the table where a small chocolate cake was placed with three candles atop the icing.

“I made t—“ he started off before he felt your puppy’s fur graze his leg and cut his words, “me and layla made this for you.” He corrected himself, you were still facing the glowing cake with your oh so gentle gaze that never failed to make jaeyun sigh lovingly besides you, “happy birthday, my love.” He whispered, each word knitted with his undying devotion for you, and you felt it. Which made you love him further.

“Thank you, Jaeyun.” You replied, the room suddenly blurred from around you as your only focus was back to him again, to jaeyun’s charming smile and twinkling eyes when you finally faced him, the soft golden burn from the candles made him glow beautifully for you, with his closeness to your body and his fingers still intertwined with yours, you felt yourself falling in love with him all over again.

And jaeyun felt the same, your grateful grin as all of your features softened when your gaze met his made his heart melt into a puddle in his chest, the familiar electricity buzzed between both of your frames, the small glimmer of hope became a fired storm that lit and roared more when the two of you only seemed to get further lost in each other’s presence.

With jaeyun’s face inches away from yours, his arms reached to wrap around your waist, swiftly lifting and placing you on the wooden table next to the cake, the surprised gasp that fell past your lips made him chuckle, his hands then lowered to rest on your thighs, “make a wish, sweetheart.” He spoke, you could feel each flutter of his eyelashes against your skin as he held you close to him.

His slow breath that brushed against your collarbones when he pressed his forehead against yours, both of you closing your eyes to drown completely in this moment, dedicating your mind, body and heart in the close and comfortable warmth of one another that your souls craved for so deeply and desperately, the need clawing away at your heart and finally settling once your hand moved onto his chest, settling above his ribs. You almost melted against him when you felt the rapid thumping of his heart beneath your fingertips.

He moved his head into the crook of your neck, a sudden drowsiness creeping through him as he felt so safe and shielded with you so close to him, you didn’t feel as far and cold from him like you usually do, and that thought brought so much peace to his mind for the first time in months.

And so you breathed his scent deeply, surrounding yourself further in him as you made a wish where you weren’t asking for too much, just for jaeyun’s love.

“Blow them out.” He lifted himself away from you, his fingers ghosting against your legs while he smiled encouragingly at you, both of your eyes seemed glossier with the light of the candles casting down on them.

“Do it with me.” You requested with your tone fragile and careful. jaeyun’s widened, his eyes turning into crescents as he looked at you tenderly. He nodded making you turn your head towards the candles, the slight warmth provided by the small fire lead shivers to run down your spine before you both leaned down and blew on the candles together.

And right when you turned back to face jaeyun with a grin, you were left alone next to the chocolate cake, the cold air jabbing at your skin while your eyes uncontrollably sought for the sight of anyone, you could’ve sworn you felt warm hands on your thighs, but there was no one else in the room other than you and layla.

Where did this cake come from? And why were you not able to remember who made this cake?

「 i waited for your love. 」

All at once, the machine glitched. Losing its track on the map of your mind when the lights around your temples glowed scarlet, indicating the loss of the connection, the interlink pausing for a brief second when a sob wrecked through your body when you remembered the memory you were about to erase.

The nurse’s rushed movements to carefully pat your cheeks that were dampened with your tears were useless against your gut wrenching cries, a rush of emotions that raged in your chest before they fell through your eyes, like a dam shattering apart as the waterfalls streamed down your face and separated from your chin to land on your lap, gradually dampening the fabric.

“Please keep t-this one.” You whimpered, each word falling apart as your voice quietened slowly, your hands reaching to clasp around the necklace that graced your chest, the small piece of pine almost penetrating your skin with its sharp edges the tighter you held it when you opened your blurry eyes to the sight of the doctor and the nurse gazing at you warily, the sorrow was shared in the room as their sympathy towards you was clear in the windows of their eyes.

The woman’s warm hands gently held onto your shaking shoulder while you begged and sobbed with the machine glitching to please keep this upcoming memory, you felt helpless. More parts of your love, of your heart being ripped away from you were finally catching up to you and god was the pain absolutely unbearable.

Was this the punishment one had to pay for the innocent act of falling in love with sim jaeyun?

Words and voices became blurred and intangible from around you, the apologies from the nurse and the doctor never fully processing in your mind as the sorrowful memory had started to play ahead of your eyes with no help from the machine.

Your last whispers were to keep this memory, to leave the memory so you can hold onto the final and most precious piece of sim jaeyun that you got to see and experience first hand, the moment where your adoration and devotion towards the boy was solidified, before the pieces returned to glow in thier emerald hue and the device relinked.

Your head ached with the continuous tears flowing down your face when the memory of you and jaeyun sitting next to each other on the couch unfolded, his fingertips ghosted on your skin, dancing around and drawing shapes and words only he knew the meaning behind while he held you close to him, the inexplicable need and desire to hold you near took a hold of him, and you understood it.

You and jaeyun understood one another beyond the boundaries others deemed possible, you understood his soul so well, his soul that was crafted from a language so intricate and delicate and you were fluent in it. And when faced with the opposite situation of him knowing your soul, he flowed in every crack and crevice of your being easily.

his presence had seeped its way throughout all of your walls that you spent day and night building, growing rapidly all over your walls like vines before breaking them all one by one, till he rooted himself in a great spot, deep in your heart.

If possible, he knew your soul better than he knew his own. But the disagreement of your minds overpowered the link between your hearts and unraveled your tangled souls from one another.

And maybe your mastery in his language was the dawn for the demise of your sweet, innocent love. Because you hated that you could tell how fidgety and anxious jaeyun was around you in this current moment.

“Is something wrong?” You finally had the bravery to voice out, worry worsening when you felt his movements freeze. He cleared his throat before sighing, pulling himself slightly away from you to stare into your eyes.

You felt time slowing around you when you saw his glossy gaze, sim Jaeyun looked breathtaking with the amount of emotions that swirled in his eyes, an amount you couldn’t even begin to fathom or comprehend, you felt yourself gradually losing yourself the longer both of you drowned on the other’s presence, the atmosphere then carried a great sense of doom that both of you decided to ignore.

Too scared to face the results of your avoidance.

“I have a gift for you.” Jaeyun breathed out, the weight that he dragged on his shoulders became heavier when he continued his typical routine of ignorance, of running away from the problem in every possible direction even if they led him to the most tragic path.

Nodding to encourage him, you pursed your lips in anticipation, excitement sparking slowly when you finally pushed away every anxious thought of what could be possibly bothering jaeyun, his hands reached towards his pocket where he pulled a box, your eyes widening when— “I’m not proposing!” He quickly blurted out once he caught your shocked expression, “it’s just— a special gift.” He blushed making you tilt your head in confusion, unknowingly deepening the blush on his face.

“Here.” He handed you the white velvety box, your fingers brushed against the fabric one final time before opening the lid and god you’ve never felt so many conflicted emotions all at once.

The intense vehemence and hurricane of feelings swirling around your heart and chest uncoordinatedly lead the device unable to keep up with the contrast between your happiness in the memory and the sheer ache that you were facing in the current time.

Like the tides of an ocean, your regret washed down on you. Intensifying as if the waves were battling with a storm, escalating the worse the strikes of the thunder became with the time. How were you supposed to forget about him?

“Why are you crying?” His voice was weak, lips quivering in panic of you repelling his gift, hating the small pine cone necklace that adorned the box in your hands, “what?” You asked, confusion laced in your voice, you were over the moon why would you be crying?

You fingertips left the soft pine cone pendant to touch your face, flinching when feeling the small tear drop on the pad of your finger, you never cried in this memory.

“Please calm her down, her emotions are disrupting the memory.” You heard the muffled voice of the doctor followed by the panicked and comforting whispers of the nurse in your ear, whispered promises of living in peace and finding happiness barely reached your mind when you were wiping away your happiness yourself right now.

“Let me help you put it on.” Jaeyun proposed, smiling softly when you nodded and turned around after handing him the necklace, Jaeyun chanted words of reassurance in his head in hopes of calming his shaking fingers that burned when they brushed against your skin, clasping the necklace for the first and final time around your chest, he felt happiness and pride blooming in his heart at the satisfaction of having a piece of himself around you at all times.

“Turn around so I can see you, pretty.” He leaned in and whispered into your ear, his smile widening when you chuckled at his words and turned around.

But why was there no one behind when you turned?

Gasping through your tears with the pieces glowing crimson around your temples, you searched through the blurry figures of white coats and stethoscopes for a different one, though unknown to you who exactly you were searching for, your eyes still raced through every corner of the room.

“Please calm down, miss.” The nurse reassured, pushing the device back onto your temples when you still weakly looked around, too exhausted to respond or fight for your belief that someone is supposed to be here for you, “we’re one final memory away.” You heard the doctor talk before breathing a shaky breath in and taking your final trip to your memory lane.

“I’ll return before night, love.” Jaeyun shouted from the door, hoping that you weren’t able to hear his wavering voice when he left you on the only day you asked for him to stay, but after all of your attempts and requests to get him to stay were unsuccessful, you stayed in the room with your puppy as you waited for her father.

And what was supposed to be two hours became three, what became three turned into the evening, and here you were with your back leaning against the door Jaeyun walked out from when it’s past midnight, Layla’s figure quickly found your own crouched one, arms wrapped around your knees to allow the sleeves of your shirt to catch your tears when the thunder struck for the nth time that night, the night that Jaeyun didn’t return.

Your chest felt empty, as if your heart had been ripped and now the cold air passing through the void of where you used to hold a blinding love made goosebumps align like constellations along your skin, you felt hollow.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this, baby.” You cried to layla who’s ears only lowered, if it wasn’t for the poor lighting in the hallway you would’ve been able to also see her own glossy and hurt filled eyes at the sight of you, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t make him love me.” You turned your head from her silhouette. Shame, humiliation and heartache overflowing you entirely as you sobbed behind the same door jaeyun was leaning against.

He stood there with his frame freezing from the cold, another night of him not being able to tell the difference between the rain droplets falling from his hair and his own salty tears as he allowed the guilt to eat him up from the inside out, not having the heart to possibly open the door and greet the view of a heartbroken you.

He had seen the sight of your tired eyes too many times, and knowing that he himself was the root of the pain made the heartache devour him whole, so he slid down onto the wet floor beneath him with his back towards the door, chuckling tearfully at his own patheticness.

If only he had the bravery to free fall into the sweet and accepting love that bloomed between the two of you like you had, maybe he would’ve been on the other side of the door to engulf you in his arms and console you.

But who was he kidding, he’s the same guy that couldn’t handle the responsibility of your pure heart and distracted himself with other women, surrounding himself with different fragrances and lipstick prints all when the lady of his heart was always within arm’s reach.

He wished he had moulded himself back into the version of him that you met, the loving and easygoing Jake that gazed at you with stars in his eyes, but the damage had already been done. There was no turning back now.

Especially not when you finally opened your eyes fully to the blinding light in the room, the soft blue light being sighted in your peripheral vision, indicating the completion and the success of the operation.

Elation sparked in your body, gradually burning into a small fire when you couldn’t remember anything.

“How are you feeling, miss?” The nurse asked, a hopeful smile gracing her features while she gazed at a confused you taking in your surroundings as if it was your first time, “weirdly.. light?” The doctor chuckled at your words, “the operation was a success.” He spoke before grinning pridefully at his triumph.

“You did amazing, miss.” The nurse praised as she helped you to stand on your own feet with no heavy weight on your shoulders for the first time in months, discarding the metal pieces before shaking your hands, words of gratitude and wishes for a healthy and happy life were exchanged before you finally walked out of the door belonging to the office, taking your first strives with no burden or guilt surrounding you as if you were floating.

Oblivious of the knowledge that Jaeyun woke up with a headache on the other side of the city, the back of his head pounding with him barely able to register Layla’s worried coos, unable to fully open his eyes and lifting his hand to rub the sleep away before— wait was he crying?

The young boy stared at his hand that shined with his tears in confusion, why was he crying? He tried to remember if he had seen a nightmare, a dream, anything— only to reach no answer.

“Hey pretty, don’t worry about me it was probably a dream.” He decided on comforting his puppy that only cooed sadly, his hand reaching forward to pet her fur while the other reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone when it brushed against a foreign object.

Jaeyun’s eyebrows furrowed when he pulled out a small box from his pocket, the item resembling a weirdly intimate small box, he opened it to reveal a beautiful ring— a promise ring. embroidered with a bunch of small diamonds around the silver lining, his confusion deepening when he had absolutely no clue of who this ring could possibly belong to.

He searched the inside for any sort of engraving to no avail, “who was this for..?” He whispered to layla who deflated further into the floor, sadness overflowing from her eyes at the defeat and loss of her friend.

And at the end, you and jaeyun’s tragic love story became encapsulated into a small forgotten star in the vast, wide and endless sky.

Already opening new opportunities and doors for different stories to be woven into your lives, you finally met up with the guy your friend had set you up with, and you knew the decision of trusting her taste was successful when a tall, doe eyed guy showed up to your table.

“Hello, my name is heeseung.” He smiled sweetly, his warm aura welcoming and pulling you in completely, unknown to you that this was just the beginning of your story with the love of your life, both of you getting lost in tangled conversations filled with questions and your interests, unaware of the different couple passing outside of the window.

“Wait so jungwon scored right?” Jake laughed, engrossed in the story of how his best friend almost ended up in the hospital, “after making riki trip, yes.” The girl besides him chuckled when Jake threw his head back in laughter, without noticing how his puppy stood outside of a cafe window, layla was no longer following him and instead she seemed to gaze intensely into the window.

Her tail swishing in excitement and joy when she spotted your figure sitting on one of the chairs, accompanied by a man that wasn’t afraid to wrap his arm around your shoulder while you laughed at his words.

Both you and Jake blind to the sight of the conflicted puppy who’s head only swished on both of your distant figures with two different people around you now before walking away with a heavy heart in jaeyun’s direction.

Maybe you and Jaeyun were never meant to successfully intertwine.

— fin

a,note. this feels so weird to share now because this is my first ever heavy angst filled work that’s also very emotionally connected to me in a way, first of all thank you ariana for releasing album of the year and inspiring me to write this, if you haven’t listened to eternal sunshine please do as soon as possible.

second i’d like to share how somewhat uncomfortable it is for me to share this as i had to take a lot of breaks throughout writing it (i’m an emotional b word pls) and also there were alot of moments that were inspired by my closest friendships / emotional experiences so i really feel like im sharing some sort of part of myself with this as well, but either way i hope u enjoyed reading this !! i love u layla and i’m sorry :(

hyunjin’s boyfriend habits !

pairing: hwang hyunjin x gn!reader wc: idk oops genre: fluff lots of fluff warnings: none!!

©yyx2

kisses all over

hyunjin loves kissing you, it’s like his lifeline. he really loves kissing your lips, claiming that he can’t get enough of your taste. if he wants to tease you he’ll nibble at your bottom lip or your neck. he loves watching how flustered you get just from his kisses. oftentimes when hyunjin greets you, he’ll slowly kiss your fingers then your forehead.

drawing you

hyunjin gets his some of his inspiration from romantic things, so it’s no surprise that you have become his muse. usually he does little sketches of you, quickly and cartoon like. although sometimes he likes to take his time, making a portrait to catch your beauty. hyunjin likes to say that he is never able to perfectly catch his stunning you are in only a painting.

spa nights

spa nights

hyunjin basically forces a face mask on you some nights if he wants to stay in. he loves to give you back massages and looks forward to his own since he claims you have to “repay him”. hyunjin ends up taking a lot of photos of you (most you would like to delete off his phone) and photos of each other to savor the memory. the two of you will sit in your bathrobes while watching a movie— sometimes you even braid hyunjin’s hair.

squeezing you to death in his sleep

hyunjin loves when you sleep over or vice versa, mostly so he can have someone to cuddle with. hyunjin is a very heavy sleeper, and a crazy one so typically the two of you wake up with either no blanket, at least one pillow on the floor or both. 99.9% of the time hyunjin latches onto you like a leech, wrapping his long legs around you and making an escape impossible. it’s nice when it’s cold outside, but not so nice when he accidentally elbows you in the face.

reading/singing you to sleep

hyunjin knows how much you love his voice as you’ve told him many times before. because of this, hyunjin occasionally sings to you or even reads to you before bed. he typically does it when you’re not feeling well or have had a bad day. hearing his voice sing a sweet tune or reading your favorite book always makes your sour mood disappear or distracts you from whatever pain you may be feeling.

being your hype-man

hyunjin always wants you to feel good about yourself, and he’ll make sure to do whatever he can to help with that. he loves taking photos of you, kneeling in extreme positions just to capture the best photos of your figure. and of course you can’t forget the multitude of compliments spewing from his lips as he snaps a bunch of shots.

being very kind and considerate of your feelings

i know this is the bare minimum but— hyunjin is truly the sweetest. he always wants to make sure that you’re comfortable with him, whatever it is. he never wants to cross any boundaries and he always wants you to tell him if there’s ever anything wrong. hyunjin values your trust and never wants to do anything to break it. if he notices that something is off, he never waits to address the issue, only wanting the best for you and your well-being.

this has got to be the most mindblowing hee fic I've ever read wtfwhsngwjsgw

The Doll House | Lee Heeseung

doll!heeseung x fem!reader

warnings: smut (mdni), pure filth, dom!hee, unprotected sex, cream pie, oral (m&f. rec), clit biting, throat fucking, cock worshipping, doggy, pussy stepping, spanking, squirting, slight degradation and choking, pet names (baby), supernatural elements, religious themes (heaven/hell), anything else lmk!

wc: 16.8k

synopsis: with only 2 weeks left, you have formed a bond with each of the dolls, well, all of them except heeseung. as you snoop around his room to find out more about him, he gives you all the answers you're looking for and opens your eyes to a world you never knew was possible.

jongseong | masterlist |

a/n: hi! it's officially the end of tdh! i need to put a massive thank you out to @haechonly as this entire series would never have been possible without their request! you are a star in my eyes and i can't ever thank you enough for trusting me to write this! i also want to thank everyone who took the time to read each chapter and leave comments or asks, i love you indefinitely <3 i hope the ending leaves you all satisfied and all your questions answered! as always, likes, reblogs, feeback, and everything in between is welcomed :)

Folding the laundry, you glance over at the calendar on the day of your leave circled in red. There are only 2 weeks left until you finish up and you’re more than sad about it. Your heart aches every time you sleep because you know that you’re one day closer to returning to normality when you wake up.

The thought alone is overwhelming - how can you possibly contemplate returning to a life you loathe when you've uncovered a paradise here? In the company of Jaeyun, Sunghoon, and Jongseong, each fulfilling a unique role in your existence, you've found a sense of completeness that you fear will escape you once you leave. 

You're so fond of the dolls that you're willing to overlook the horrifying underworld that lurks in the library's secret room. You’ve learned that if you pay it no mind, it can’t touch you. Jongseong has reassured you time and time again that you need not worry about it, and you trust him, so you faithfully follow his guidance.

Jongseong has hardly explained anything, only that yes it was hell that lives in the flames but it’s more like a telephone than a portal - a cryptic analogy that only serves to fuel your curiosity - but he just keeps repeating himself time and time again: “Talk to Heeseung.”

Which would be fine if the doll ever gave you the time of day. He knows you know about them now so there’s no reason for him not to speak with you, yet he hardly utters a word, not even a simple thank you when you serve him dinner or excuse me when he bumps into you. He’s not avoiding you but ignoring you and for some reason that makes it worse. All you get from Heeseung is knowing stares and a sly smile plastered on his face.

You know he’s dangerous, Jongseong and Sunghoon are good at making you very aware of that, even his aura is enough to know that you shouldn’t mess with him, but their warnings about his inherent danger reverberate in your head, their evident readiness to give you to his care and seek answers calls into question his malevolence.

Jongseong said he doesn’t want to see your face when you find out, making you even more curious and it cannot be curbed until you get answers.

Grabbing the washing basket, you put the neatly folded clothes inside and make your way to drop them off outside each of the respective dolls’ rooms. They are off doing their own thing, even Jaeyun, who is typically tethered to your side, is engrossed in playing football with Jongseong, seemingly oblivious to your brief departure.

There was something Jongseong said to you over the past week that you can’t shake out of your head. He observed how close you and Jaeyun are, and how attached the younger doll has become to you. It’s not so much the observation as much as how he eyes the both of you now; there’s a knowingness in his pupils, like he’s keeping another secret from you, but you can’t figure out what. 

It’s obvious you and Jaeyun get along well, each of you loving to spend time with one another and waste the day away; as long as you’re together, that’s all that matters. You confided in Jongseong, telling him that whatever Jaeyun is feeling, whether happy or sorrowful, you feel it too. It's a connection so profound that only those who have experienced it firsthand can comprehend its depth.

Regret gnaws at you for telling Jongseong, for since then, his scrutiny has only intensified, leaving you to wonder what his meaningful gaze truly means.

You head towards Heeseung's room, initially planning to leave his clothes outside as per the rulebook. However, your rebellious streak, which has persisted almost since you got here, urges you otherwise. The last time you saw Heeseung was in the music room, practising the piano, so he isn’t around, leaving you the perfect opportunity to snoop.

If he isn’t giving you answers, maybe his room will.

Placing the basket on your hip, you open his door tentatively, scared to see what is on the other side. You’ve been in his room before but now that you’re delving into its nooks and crannies, you can’t help but feel some apprehension. This is new territory and with warnings about his character, you know if you’re caught, you are fucked.

His room is dull, his curtains remaining shut despite the summer weather outside. Come to think of it, you haven’t ever seen him sit out the front with the others, only ever being in their presence when he has to be. Sunghoon and Heeseung have a camaraderie, their personalities are woven from the same cloth, so you know they are close in some way. You’ve seen them sharing secrets and memories of their past but it’s always in hushed whispers, not letting anyone in on their fun.

Yet, when it comes to Jongseong, a noticeable distance lingers between them. Though their interactions remain civil, their friendship feels distant. Despite this, Jongseong's occasional defence of Heeseung hints at an underlying care between them, though you can't help but feel that there's more to their dynamic than meets the eye. You have enough mysteries in this house other than feuding brothers, so you’ve not given it much thought.

You set the basket down on the ottoman nestled at the foot of his bed, casting a quick glance around the room to assess your surroundings before delving into your impromptu snoop sesh. 

Your gaze drifts to his dressing table, its surface gathering dust and bereft of any adornments. It's a stark contrast to the other dolls' rooms, each of them cluttered with their interests and personalities. With a curious tilt of your head, you step closer, it's as if Heeseung deliberately keeps his space devoid of any semblance of identity or sentimentality. The only thing adorning the furniture is a scatter of dead flies that you turn your nose up to.

Jongseong had said Heeseung had been here for 8 years, surely that would warrant some decoration; even one book would be enough.

As your exploration continues, you come across a worn and torn box tucked away in the corner of the room. Kneeling down, you run your fingers over it, noticing how it’s the only thing devoid of dust in the room. Curiosity piqued, you carefully lift the lid, revealing a trove of forgotten treasures within.

Among the assortment of photographs, you come across snapshots capturing moments between Soonyeol and Heeseung. There is one photo of Soonyeol and Heeseung which she clearly forced him to be in, her cheek pressed hard against his and a smile on her face. Although it is a picture, you can feel her love for him emanating. 

Setting aside the photograph with care, your attention is drawn to another picture, this time commemorating Soonyeol's birthday. The scene is more recent, with Jaeyun's radiant smile serving as a focal point. His embrace of the birthday girl evokes a pang of envy within you, swiftly tempered by the reminder that he belongs to Soonyeol.

"Hmm, she’s 28," you remark, noting the candles donning the birthday cake in the photograph. You could have sworn she was the same age as you; maybe it’s her skincare cupboard you should be raiding through.

Nestled among the keepsakes is a handwritten note, its edges yellowed with age. As you unfold it, the scrawl of Soonyeol's handwriting greets your eyes. The heartfelt words penned on the paper speak of cherished moments and promises of eternal love for Heeseung, her words of gratitude for saving her.

You can't help but wonder what drove Heeseung to save Soonyeol. If Heeseung is indeed this elusive big bad wolf, it begs the question: why would he ever come to someone's rescue?

"What are you doing?" A low voice reverberates through the cold walls, jolting you from your exploration. Startled, you scramble to restore everything to its place, your heart pounding with fear as you hastily rise to your feet, meeting Heeseung's gaze with wide-eyed apprehension.

Heeseung stands before you, arms crossed and a frown etched across his features. His expression speaks volumes, conveying a mix of irritation and suspicion at your intrusion into his private space. You can't fault him for his reaction; after all, he just caught you looking through his personal belongings that clearly no one but him is meant to see.

Hurriedly, you retreat to the safety of the laundry basket, clutching it as if it were a shield against his disapproval, "Sorry, Heeseung," you stammer, offering a feeble explanation for your presence, "I-I was just putting your laundry away."

Heeseung's gaze remains fixed on you, his expression unreadable as he assesses your explanation. The silence between you stretches taut, punctuated only by the distant hum of the house.

After what feels like an eternity, Heeseung finally speaks, his voice cool and measured, "You know the rules, Y/N, leave it outside," he admonishes, his tone firm.

"Sorry, Heeseung," you murmur, bowing your head as his reprimand sinks in. Your body feels clammy with sweat, a lump forming in your throat, and your heart pounding erratically. It's unnerving to be alone with him for the first time, leaving you feeling timid and inferior in his presence.

Heeseung strides further into the room, his figure imposing as he sets about restoring the box you disrupted, methodically arranging his treasures back into order. As you watch his back, uncertainty gnaws at you, weighing your options for the next move. You're aware that he expects you to leave, and perhaps you should for your own sake. Yet, this unexpected encounter presents an opportunity you've been yearning for - a chance to pose the questions that Jongseong has been evading.

"You're not like the other 3, are you?" you venture timidly, hoping to broach the subject without eliciting a harsh response from him.

Heeseung straightens up, exhaling sharply as he runs a hand through his hair, his eyebrows arching in surprise at your question. "What? Because I haven't fucked you, is that what you mean?" His tone drips with disdain at your observation, his words sharp and cutting.

"No, it's not that," you hurriedly clarify, sensing his hostility, "It's just...your aura, it's different," you explain despite struggling to put your thoughts into words.

Heeseung's expression shifts, a flicker of surprise crossing his features at your unexpected comment. "Different? How so?" he asks, curiosity replacing the initial edge of hostility.

You take a cautious step forward, emboldened by his slightly less defensive demeanour, "It's hard to explain," you admit, searching for the right words to articulate the subtle but distinct quality that sets him apart. "It's like... there's a depth to you, something...darker," you struggle to find the right description, hoping he'll understand that you aren’t trying to call him evil, even if that is what you are eluding to.

Tilting his head, Heeseung starts to smirk, a glint of amusement dancing in his eyes. He licks the side of his mouth casually before speaking, his tone teasing, "You have no idea who I am, do you?"

You don’t, that’s quite obviously the issue you’re having. You suppress the urge to roll your eyes because fuck whatever would come from that. So instead, you settle for shaking your head, hoping he will elaborate of his own accord.

The curiosity is evident on his face as he steps forward slightly, “You mean to tell me you’ve been here almost 2 months, fucked each of my brothers more times than I can count, and you still don’t know who we are?”

Feeling a flush of embarrassment creep up your cheeks at Heeseung's blunt question, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air. It’s not through lack of trying, you have turned over every book, looked on every shelf, and bobby pinned your way into locks, yet you’re still in the dark.

Your silence only seems to fuel Heeseung's wicked merriment, his smirk widening into a sharp grin as he peers straight through you. "I really thought Jongseong would have caved by now. God knows how he really does love to paint himself as still a saint."

Drawing in a deep breath, Heeseung prepares to reveal the truth you've been longing to uncover. Your body stills as you realise this is finally it, everything you’ve been wanting, no, needing to know - he is about to let you in.

"We're from all over heaven and hell," he explains, his voice tinged with amusement that was targeted at your now shocked expression, "angels and demons, Baby, that’s what we are."

As his words sink in, you find yourself ensnared in a whirlwind of confusion and uncertainty. Angels and demons? The implications of such a revelation send a shiver down your spine. 

Of course, they weren't human, you knew that much, but how can they be otherworldly beings straight out of myths, the kind you only hear about in churches and Supernatural episodes? The concept is difficult to fully process, leaving you grappling with a reality that feels more like a dream - or perhaps a nightmare. You would have been much more settled if they were the ghosts of those who lived here previously - this being one of the many guesses you made about their lives.

You've grown to adore the dolls, cherishing their presence above all else. But the newfound knowledge that some of them are demons sends a chill down your spine, casting a shadow of unease over your once-idyllic existence.

Sensing your need for clarity, Heeseung's voice breaks through the tumult of your thoughts. "Who do you want to know about first?" he inquires as his eyebrows raise, "I think it's only right that we start with your little angel, hmmm?"

Jaeyun. 

Nodding, you brace yourself for whatever he is about to say. 

“You’ll be glad to know, your lover boy is an angel,” he starts to explain and you already feel a relief wash over you. If Jaeyun was an evil spirit, that would have destroyed any perception you had of him, leaving you to question the authenticity of the connection you share; the idea that he could have manipulated you would hurt your soul more than you’d like to admit.

You see Heeseung weigh up his next words, “Well…not quite, he should have been but I stopped that from happening,” he confesses, feigning remorse for his doings, “He was actually meant to be a guardian angel. When he died in an accident, his soul was so pure he was handpicked to be someone's personal dove boy.”

“Wait, what do you mean you stopped it?” you ask almost immediately, your curiosity outweighing any other emotion as he speaks.

"He was wandering the veil, the in-between of life and death, waiting to be guided to heaven when I heard him crying out, confused and scared. He died too soon, but that greedy fuck up the stairs clearly couldn’t let him just live out his life the way he wanted to."

There’s anger in his voice as he speaks; it doesn’t take a genius to know he’s talking about God. You’ve always been taught that there is a plan for everyone, that no matter what happens, it’s the right path. Clearly, Heeseung doesn’t share the same outlook.

“So I answered his call and guided him to Soonyeol and the rest of us. Jaeyun only wanted to be loved and cherished his whole life, that was his dream, and I granted it in exchange for his memories,” he sees you poised with another question, but he stops you, raising a hand to silence you, “If you’re going to ask why I did that, it’s because he wouldn’t have coped otherwise, and he would have looked at us in anger rather than love.”

You have so many new questions, but as you go to speak, you can’t. Your mouth is dry, and your throat holds back a sob. You feel awful as you think about Jaeyun being scared after death, calling out for help, and in the end being stripped of his memories. Heeseung is acting as if he did him a favour - and in some way, he has - but he has also torn him away from his path.

As you struggle to find the right words to express your thoughts, Heeseung's gaze softens if only slightly, a flicker of understanding passing between you. "I know it's a lot to take in," he offers gently, his tone devoid of its usual edge, "But trust me when I say that Jaeyun is happier here than he ever was in his old life, and certainly more than he would be as a guardian. Soonyeol needed someone to look after and that’s all he has ever wanted; It’s a win-win.”

“So this was all for Soonyeol? Be honest with me,” you ask, picking up on his last sentence. 

With a definitive nod, Heeseung doesn't deny your observation, "Everything that I have done is for her." 

That piques your interest and the pieces of the puzzle start to fall into place, “Does that mean you did the same with the others? You brought them here for Soonyeol’s benefit?”

He lets out a heavy exhale, his demeanour shifting as he crosses his arms. “You make it sound like I've wronged Jaeyun,” he counters, any trace of understanding vanishing as his cold manner returns to the forefront. 

You didn’t mean for it to sound accusatory, but you can’t help but call a spade a spade. Heaven is deemed difficult to enter - what with all the rules and hail mary’s - so for Jaeyun to be seen as holy enough to become someone’s guardian angel was a privilege he should have been able to experience.

Mirroring his posture, you cross your arms, a silent declaration of your determination. It might be foolish to stand toe to toe with him, considering his power to manipulate Jaeyun's memories and drag him to Earth, but you refuse to show any sign of weakness.

Heeseung grins, genuinely amused by your stance. He's impressed by your resolve, having pegged you for someone who would flee at the mere mention of demons. "You've got some backbone," Heeseung remarks, his grin widening as he observes your defiance, "I like that."

His words catch you off guard, a mixture of surprise and curiosity flickering in your eyes. Despite the gravity of the situation, you can't help but feel a small swell of pride at his unexpected approval.

“So? The others?”

“No, the others actually asked for my help, Sunghoon was practically crying out and begging to be saved from his cell in hell,” Heeseung explains as he reminisces about his first encounter with Sunghoon.

You nod slowly, trying to wrap your head around the revelation, “So he is a demon?” you mumble to yourself, looking down at the ground. Honestly, you should have known, he fucks you like he was part of the incubus club. Yet he is also so tender in his actions, he helps you out and makes sure you’re okay, gives you forehead kisses and aftercare - it doesn’t scream evil.

Clicking his fingers, Heeseung points them at you, a mischievous wink fluttering over to you, “Bingo. Sunghoon used to be a soldier, serving under one of the rulers in hell, Dis. The guy was made from remains of Lucifer, the Devil, whatever you want to call him, and because of that, he thought he was some big shot, ordering his soldiers to do horrific things, things even I wouldn’t do.”

You stand wide-eyed, taking in his words. You can't help but feel sorrow for Sunghoon, knowing how tormented he must have been in the depths of hell. It's an odd realisation to feel pity for a demon who you know must be bad enough to be prevented from entering Heaven.

"He couldn’t bear the torture anymore and he rebelled against Dis. Sunghoon has always despised authority; his only desire is to be in control, making him public enemy number one in the underworld. Ever been to jail in hell?" it's a rhetorical question because of course you haven’t, but you shake your head answering anyway. “Yeah, it’s not pretty. Sunghoon managed to contact me, pleading to do anything to escape. Hence, here he is.”

“What did he have to sacrifice? Or do you only make deals with angels?” you blurt out unintentionally, your distaste for Heeseung's methods bubbling to the surface.

“I’d watch that fucking tongue of yours before I tear it out and feed it to the dogs.”

Heeseung's threat hangs heavy in the air, his words laced with a chilling intensity that raises goosebumps over your body. You swallow hard, the weight of his gaze bearing down on you.

Clearing your throat, you attempt to steer the conversation back on track, knowing there is so much more to uncover, "I’m sorry, Heeseung," you say, your voice steady despite the tremor of uncertainty lingering within you, "I just want to understand.”

Heeseung appears satisfied with your apology, though his next words still carry a warning tone, “I heard a rumour you were a good girl. If you want to keep that reputation, I suggest you zip it.” Your cheeks flushed crimson, memories of your nights with Jongseong flooding your mind. You recalled the countless times he had called you his good girl, his perfect angel.

He continues, delving into the details of his arrangement with Sunghoon. "Sunghoon gave me his powers and his word," he explained, his tone taking on a grave seriousness, "I made it clear to him that he could have paradise with a girl who wanted some direction in her life, but if he ever laid an unwanted finger on her, I would hand his head to Dis myself."

You couldn’t help but feel a sense of unease at the thought of the intricate power dynamics at play within the household, each member bound by their own set of rules and obligations.

“The only person he has to answer to is Soonyeol, an upgrade from being whipped and battered with iron chains, wouldn’t you say?” Heeseung steps closer, his eyes flashing with a hint of crimson, or maybe it's just your imagination. All this information must be taking its toll on you, the headache forming in your frontal lobe might be tricking your eyes.

Heeseung's piercing gaze bores into yours and you can’t shake the unsettling feeling of being scrutinised, as if he were sizing you up as his next potential victim. Despite the growing discomfort prickling at the back of your mind, you steeled yourself, maintaining a carefully constructed facade of composure to shield against falling for his traps.

“And Jongseong? He’s a demon too?” you inquire quietly.

“Baby, he’s the furthest thing from it. In fact, you must have some powers of your own to get him to fuck you,” Heeseung responds with a scoff, his laughter ringing with a hint of mockery. He shakes his head, a sardonic smirk playing on his lips as he contemplates the notion of you and Jongseong together.

Heeseung's amusement fades into a knowing smile as he watches your face turn to confusion, "Jongseong is no demon, darling. He's a full-fledged guardian angel, just like Jaeyun was supposed to be," he explains, rendering you shocked.

Everything about Jongseong falls into place; how he's been looking after you from the very beginning, with his caring demeanour, always urging you to do what’s best, and his unwavering efforts to provide comfort and ease. It's just who he is.

As you reflect on Jongseong's constant care and support, a sense of gratitude washes over you. Jongseong has remained a steadfast presence, guiding you through the labyrinth of this otherworldly realm; he didn’t have to show you the altar or delve into how they were summoned, but he did to ease your mind, all the while shielding you from its evil secrets. It’s not that he didn’t want to tell you, it’s that he was protecting you from the hell of it all.

But if he is a guardian angel, he is too good to be here with a demon and a lost soul.

“Then why is he here? Shouldn’t he be the guardian of his human or something-” Just as the sentence passes your lips, your mouth falls open, eyes popping out of your head as you answer your own question, “He is Soonyeol’s guardian angel, isn’t he?”

Heeseung smiles proudly and claps his hands once. "You are one smart cookie," he observes, his tone without sarcasm for once. 

“Shouldn’t guardian angels be silent? Like a gut feeling?” 

Heeseung answers you with a casual shrug, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips, "Yeah, hence the doll costume. Actually…it's my fault he's stuck like that," he admits, his face scrunched up as he contemplates whether you will find his actions disconcerting or admirable. "Soonyeol wasn't listening to his pleas, she ignored her instinct, so he made himself visible - which by the way is a number one no-no up there,” he points out before continuing, “he wanted to warn her of the consequences of her actions. As a result, he lost his wings, God cut the tie between them and demoted him to a simple heaven walker. It was all quite a scandal.”

You don’t know what to say, how can you say anything when all you want to do is curse out everyone who had a part to play in Soonyeol and Jongseong’s parting?

“Then he tried to see her again, defying God and his stupid ‘disapproving actions have consequences’ bullshit. Jongseong was deemed to be sinful and therefore, poof,” Heeseung explains further, twinkling his fingers as if it were a cloud of smoke, “He was banished to heaven’s wasteland forever.”

Amusement that seems to dance in Heeseung's eyes feels wrong as if there's a sick happiness he derives from Jongseong's misery. You know angels and demons have never seen eye to eye but they are close enough to call one another ‘brother’, surely that has to stand for some sympathy?

Sensing your disapproval, Heeseung wipes the smile from his face, his demeanour turning cold. "Judge me all you want, Baby, but I helped him get her back," he asserts, his voice dripping with venom, "Without me, he wouldn't be near her." There's a bitter edge to his tone, a hint of resentment seeping through his words.

"God wanted Jongseong to never see her again, but I knew that would hurt her," he continues, his eyes flashing with intensity, "A guardian angel and their human have a bond that is stronger than any love you can even imagine, especially when they come into contact. He couldn’t live without her, his desperate longing ached so loud that’s all I could fucking hear for weeks. So I got him out of that heaven hole and brought him closer to her than he ever was."

The raw emotion in Heeseung's words sends a chill down your spine, his bitterness and resentment palpable in the air. You feel for Jongseong, caught in the crossfire of divine politics and human emotions. He only wanted to protect her and he got scolded for it, reprimanded for fulfilling his duty to her, that part is tripping you up the most. Well, that and one other thing.

"This is so confusing," you exclaim, rubbing your temples in frustration. "So it's your fault he's the doll because? Surely the real reason would be whatever he was trying to protect her from, the thing that caused him to show himself."

With a smirk, Heeseung nods, pointing to himself. "Yeah, that was me," he admits unabashedly, "She was summoning me." 

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise at Heeseung's admission. "She was summoning you?" you repeat, incredulous.

Heeseung nods, his smirk widening into a joyful grin. "Yep," he confirms, pride creeping into his tone. "She called, and I answered.”

The implications of Heeseung's revelation leave you speechless. Soonyeol's actions inadvertently set off a chain of events that ultimately led to Jongseong's downfall. It's a sobering reminder of the unpredictable nature of their world and the consequences of meddling with forces beyond control.

"Why you?" you finally manage to ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

Heeseung steps forward, closing the distance between you with an unsettling grace. His presence looms over you, casting a shadow of unease, "I suppose I should formally introduce myself," he says, bowing his head with a wicked grin, "I'm Heeseung, formally known as Beelzebub. 

I'm a Prince of Hell."

The world spins groggily around you, your limbs going numb as the weight of his words hangs heavy in the air. You find yourself at a loss, grappling with the realisation that you've been living with none other than the Lord of the Flies himself.

Beelzebub, one of the seven Princes of Hell, holds a position of immense power and authority in the underworld. As the third in command, he wields influence and dominion over legions of demons, surpassing even the mightiest of Archangels in strength and cunning.

Despite your limited knowledge of demonology, you understand enough to know that Beelzebub is not to be trifled with. His name alone strikes fear into the hearts of humans and angels alike, a testament to his formidable reputation and malevolent nature.

As Heeseung's hand brushes against your cheek, a reflexive flinch courses through you. "Don't be scared of me now, Baby," he says, a sly grin playing at the corners of his lips. There's a hint of amusement in his tone as he relishes the unease he elicits from you, "I'm actually enjoying your questions. Go on, hit me with another one." 

He is far too casual about this, then again, he has known of his identity forever so he has no reason to be startled.

You hesitate, unsure of what question to pose next. The revelation of Heeseung's true identity has left your mind reeling, your heart pounding in your chest, and palms sweaty. There’s no doubt he senses how your nerves are rattled, that smug look on his face says it all. 

But you need answers so you compose yourself and pull up your big girl pants.

Gathering your thoughts, you finally muster the courage to speak, swallowing the lump in your throat, “Why did Soonyeol summon you?”

His facial expression shifts from smug to something softer, a hint of fondness flickering in his eyes as he reminisces about Soonyeol and their relationship. "She called me," he begins, his voice carrying a note of nostalgia, "A young girl who couldn’t find her place in the world. All she wanted was to be lifted from her toxic family and find the serenity she needed."

"And you granted her wish?" you prompt, eager to understand the dynamics of their relationship and the extent of Heeseung's influence over Soonyeol's life.

Heeseung nods, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I did, I gave her all of this," he confirms, his voice tinged with a mixture of pride and affection as he gestures around him, speaking of the house and the dolls which live in it, "I offered her a way out, a chance to escape her past and forge a new destiny. And in return, she granted me her loyalty, devotion, and eventually, her soul."

The discovery of Soonyeol’s past leaves you reeling, your perception of her shifting in an instant. Here you were, thinking she was all-powerful and commanding, when in reality, she was just a scared girl in her twenties. The thought of what she must have endured, what drove her to call upon a demon for help, fills you with a profound sense of empathy and compassion.

If Heeseung granted Soonyeol her deepest desires, if he offered her a way out of her suffering, then what does that say about his own motivations? After all, as a Prince of Hell, he could have chosen to do whatever he pleased. Yet, he chose to stay loyal to Soonyeol.

Then, just like that, it hits you: he must love her in some capacity. It's the only explanation for his unwavering loyalty, for his willingness to sacrifice some of his own freedom for her sake.

You breathe out softly, nodding as you agree with your mind, “You love her, don’t you? That’s why you stick around and give her anything she wants, even if that means letting herself indulge in more than just you.”

He scoffs and laughs loudly, making you jump back slightly, “Y/N, this isn’t a soppy fairytale or one of your romance novels. I’m a Prince of Hell, not Prince Charming. I’m incapable of love,” his face is bright, tittering at even the implication, “I am fond of her though, I will admit. She has a charm about her that intrigues me.”

“Then why do you stay, fondness isn’t enough to stay in this house,” you question, a little more confident now that his protective guard is down. 

He pauses, mulling over your question before responding, “I promised I would give her what she needs, and she needs me,” he explains, his voice taking on a lower, more intimate tone. As he moves closer to you, his signature smirk returns, “And I don’t break my promises, Y/N.”

You tremble a little, the lowering octave in his voice causes your knees to quake and heart to still. As Heeseung's body towers closer, you find yourself captivated by the intensity in his gaze, the allure of his enigmatic persona drawing you in like a moth to a flame. 

His menacing smirk widens as he watches your reaction, his eyes gleaming with a mixture of amusement and something deeper, something you can't quite decipher. Just being this close to him is making your body react in a way it shouldn’t, your thighs rubbing together as he looks into your eyes, seeking to find out what’s going on in your brain.

And unfortunately for you, he’s good at picking up your signals.

"What do you need, Y/N? Let me help you," he murmurs, his voice a soothing melody that resonates deep within you. You take a step back, intending to create some distance between you, but your legs betray you, colliding with the edge of the bed and sending you stumbling backwards.

Just as you brace for impact, Heeseung is there, his strong arms wrapping around you in a protective embrace. His touch is electrifying, sending a jolt of warmth through your veins as he steadies you effortlessly. "See? You can trust me," he reassures, his voice low and hypnotic as he holds you close.

His words slice through the air like a siren's call, drawing you nearer despite the warning bells in your mind. As Heeseung's eyes lock with yours, vulnerability washes over you, a desire to confide in him, to bare the depths of your desires.

“I know what you want anyway. Your soul has been calling out for it. I can hear you crying out, just like I did the others,” his grip on your waist tightens.

You stay still, pondering his words. How can he hear your soul’s desires when you’ve been grappling and searching to figure out what you want your entire life? You moved to the big city for university because you thought it was a sure cut way to achieve fulfilment, only to find unhappiness. You entered relationships yearning for love, only to hide away from the commitment when it all got too real.

In all your existence, you have never known what you want.

But he does, you can see it in his eyes, “What do I want, Heeseung?” you ask both curiously and longingly, hoping he can shed some light upon you.

“You want this life, with us,” Heeseung says matter of factly, his eyes tracing the contours of your face as the scared expression turns into one of perplexion, “Don’t you see it? How you took Soonyeol’s place so easily, falling into her role like you were born to be ours, like we were made for you.”

His words linger, thick with insinuation. You study his eyes for signs of deception, but all you see is sincerity, a profound conviction that sends shivers down your spine because deep down within you, you know it’s true too.

Ever since you set foot in this house, you've felt it - a subtle shift in the air, a stirring of something dormant within you. In the city, you lived in a tiny flat, unemployed and miserable, your only solace found in the familiar glow of your television screen as you binge-watched your favourite shows for the umpteenth time.

But here, in the mansion, it's different. Cleaning its halls and tending to the dolls and their needs, it's given you a purpose you thought you had lost along the way. Each day brings with it a renewed sense of fulfilment, a feeling of being truly alive in a way you haven't felt in years.

You want this life, you’ve fallen in love with its routine and stability, how each day you wake up and roam the halls, admiring the artwork and serenity in the echoes of your footsteps. The silence of it all makes your heart weep with joy, the boys you have come to cherish - even now, despite knowing about their supernatural entities and the mass power they hold - you love them dearly.

Heeseung, as if reading your mind, smirks and licks his lips, “You feel alive, don’t you?” He knows you do, he can see it in your eyes and the feel of your blood rushing along your veins. Mia was right when she said you were glowing all but two weeks ago. You’re radiant, like you have your own personal sun perched upon your shoulder, giving you an incandescent glow.

You’re finally happy.

“You also want one more thing,” Heeseung’s voice is a mere whisper now, his lips tantalisingly close to yours. Your pupils dilate as you lock eyes with him, his presence drawing you in as if he's reaching into the depths of your soul, rummaging around inside to pull you apart, “You’ve been craving me.”

A visceral energy electrifies every nerve ending in your body as he speaks, the expectation crackling in the air. You're standing on the verge of something exciting and new, and it feels like time has stopped still. The intensity of his stare searing into yours, the heat of his fingers against your back as he dips them up your shirt makes you shakily exhale the breath you were holding.

He rubs his beautiful, sharp nose against yours, closing his eyes as he reads further into your heart, “You feel like you’re missing out on me," he murmurs, his voice dripping with sinister undertones, because he knows he has you exactly where he wants you.

It’s embarrassing but it’s true, even if you don’t wish to admit it to yourself. You don’t want to seem ungrateful to the other three because truly they have given you everything you could ever need; but no amount of fulfilment from them can stop your aching body, wanting nothing more than to have the doll in front of you, the one who is currently holding you so tightly that you should feel trapped, yet you’ve never felt more liberated.

As his arms tighten around you, holding you in a suffocating grip, you find your voice trembling with desire and uncertainty, "You never showed any interest in me. I didn’t think you wanted me." 

A wicked grin twists across Heeseung's lips, his eyes glinting with malice as he leans down to your neck, licking a long stripe up your jugular, savouring your taste on his tongue. He can’t stop the rumble of a chuckle coming from his chest.

“Baby, you just seemed to be having such a good time with my brothers; who was I to deny them your presence?” Heeseung nips are your skin, eliciting a moan from your dry throat. The air around you both is stifling, the atmosphere heavy with want and greed because you both know what is about to happen, even if you want to stop it - which you don’t.

Heeseung’s allure is too powerful for you to deny, it’s easy to see how Soonyeol got sucked in so easily, wanting him in her life and summoning him here forever. His touch though, is another level of intoxication entirely. His large hands roam your body with a possessiveness that sends your mind reeling, drowning in a sea of exhilaration.

As you part your lips to speak, Heeseung watches you with predatory patience, knowing that whatever words escape your mouth, they will only serve to further his agenda. In this moment, you are merely a pawn in his twisted game, powerless to defy the inexorable pull of his dark charisma.

“Jongseong said you don’t like to be last,” you say, discretely questioning his reasoning for not coming into contact with you sooner.

Laughing, Heeseung shakes his head with a sinister delight. His bottom lip grazes up your chin, dragging closer until it hovers mere millimetres from your mouth, “Oh, he couldn’t be more wrong. I wanted you to experience them first and let them have some fun with you,” he presses you harshly against him, letting you feel his thick cock against your heat, causing you to whimper slightly, much to his approval.

He kisses your lips every so lightly, your instincts to chase his mouth with yours only adding to his amusement. You’re such a strong-willed girl, he knows that by how he has observed you and how long you have remained in this house despite the constant terror and unease it has bestowed upon you. So to see you utterly weak like this is fueling his desire like crazy.

You look at him, waiting for him to talk again and say anything that would give you both the green light to divulge your sins.

“I let them have you because if I got to you first,” he murmurs, his lips brushing against your ear, and you can feel the smugness radiating from him, "You wouldn’t have even looked their fucking way."

Heat surges through you, an uncomfortable arousal that threatens to overwhelm you as you struggle to contain the torrent of desire within you. It's as if every inch of your skin is on fire, and you long to shed it all off your bones just to cool the burning sensation. The wetness between your legs is undeniable as it practically runs down your thighs.

Your heart pounds in sync with the rhythm of his kisses trailing along your neck and jawline and your hands clench at your sides, tension and lust swirling within you. If this is going to happen, it's going to happen now, forcing you to confront the question that looms over you like a dark cloud,

Are you going to fuck a Prince from Hell?

There are so many wrongs to counteract the rightness of this moment, knowing that this is territory foreign to the others you’ve laid with. They might be celestial beings but Heeseung is a God in his own right and he fucking knows it.

You can feel his amusement radiating off him as he watches you struggle with your inner thoughts, relishing in your torment as you wrestle with the pros and cons of surrendering to him completely. But amidst the chaos of your thoughts, one thing remains clear:

You want him. More than anything, you want to give in to the temptation that beckons you toward him, to lose yourself in the darkness that surrounds him. And as you meet his gaze with unwavering determination, you know that no matter the consequences, you're ready to embrace the inferno that awaits.

“So…can I ruin them for you?”

He looks at you using the triangle method and you almost physically fall to your knees, each time his eyes dart between your mouth and eyes, you feel saliva forming at the corner of your lip, lustfully loving his hooded eyes as he stares down at you. The way he assesses you, with a predatory focus that makes your heart race, leaves you feeling exposed and vulnerable.

But you want to fuck him so bad, you think you might die.

With a skip of your heart, you nod, surrendering to the inevitable. It's all the confirmation Heeseung needs and in an instant, his lips crash down on yours, a collision that would make Asmodeus jealous.

His touch is paradoxical, you can feel the roughness of his grip on your right tit, a stark contrast to the tenderness of his lips, and it only serves to heighten the intensity of the moment. It’s obvious you're not alone in your craving; Heeseung has been consumed by thoughts of you since the first moment he laid eyes on you, a primal urge driving him to mark you as his own.

And as you lose yourself in the heat of the moment, you know that there's no turning back.

"I'm gonna fucking destroy every other man for you," he growls before roughly pushing you onto the bed, the severity of which causes you whiplash. 

In urgency, Heeseung hastily works to remove your bottoms, his hands precise with anticipation, making sure he doesn’t lose another second. The fabric slides off your hips with ease, revealing the glistening wetness between your thighs and the cold air kisses your exposed cunt, making you shiver.

Heeseung's middle finger traces along your folds, collecting some of your slick arousal and spreading it with sinful precision, applying pressure on points you’re sensitive. As he teases you, his voice drips with a mixture of amusement and wicked desire.

"Your cunt is drooling over a demon, are you not embarrassed?" he taunts, his words laced with a dark edge that ignites a fierce blush on your cheeks. What’s worse is that his mockery only serves to stoke the lust within you, your hole clenching involuntarily in response.

Unfortunately for you, he notices, his chuckle knowing. "I do love a girl with no shame," he mumbles, his voice thick as he revels in the sight of your unabashed arousal.

With a predatory glint in his eyes, Heeseung wastes no time diving in, his mouth and tongue delving into your slick folds with a hunger that borders on ravenous. The sensation is overwhelming, a tidal wave of pleasure crashing over you as he explores every inch of your dripping sex with unrestrained fervour.

His movements are uninhibited, his tongue tracing erratic patterns against your sensitive nub as he seeks to consume you entirely. Each wet, sloppy lick and suck sends sparks of ecstasy shooting through your body, building the tension to an almost unbearable peak.

In the throes of pleasure, your instinctive reach to grab Heeseung's hair proves to be your first mistake. Before your fingers can even brush against his roots, he retaliates with a harsh bite on your clit, causing you to recoil with a cry, tears welling in your eyes.

“I didn’t say you could touch me, did I?” he warns, his mouth still wet with your juices as he looks up at you with a mix of dominance and satisfaction.

The memory of your first encounter with Jongseong floods your mind, the way he punished you for your disobedience is still vivid in your memory. It was meant to deter you from acting out, and in his case, it did. But now, with Heeseung, the desire to be reprimanded once again ignites within you, a need that demands satisfaction. 

Jongseong awakened something inside of you, a craving for submission and punishment that you never knew existed. And now, with Heeseung, you yearn to explore it on a new level, one that a sweet angel like Jongseong is too kind to deliver. 

It’s exciting and foolish all at once.

Gently, you run your hands through his hair, feeling the texture of it between your fingers as you grasp at his roots. 

Heeseung's reaction is immediate, his body tensing at your touch even as a low growl rumbles in his chest. But instead of pulling away, he leans into your touch, his tough facade cracking ever so slightly as a faint tremor runs through him. It's a fleeting moment of vulnerability, a crack in the armour he wears so proudly.

For a brief instant, you glimpse the man behind the Prince of Hell, a creature of darkness with desires and needs of his own. You ponder if this is what Soonyeol gives him, if that is why he is so reluctant to enjoy your comforting touch.

But before you can think much more about it, he reacts with swift brutality, sinking his teeth harshly down on your clit once more. The pain is searing, a sharp shock that tears a cry of both pain and pleasure from your lips. It's a punishment, yes, but one that you oh so desperately want.

His teeth sink in with immense force that causes you so much pain you try to escape, kicking your legs to scramble from him. But that only makes things worse as he grips your thighs with might to hold you in place, bruises and indents already forming under his nails. He adds a cruel twist, pulling at your bug sharply, causing your hips to rise instinctively towards his mouth in a futile attempt to ease the agony.

But Heeseung isn't fooled by your subtle movements. He catches on quickly, his grip tightening on your clit before he roughly pushes you down onto the bed, his palm pressing forcefully into your stomach to keep you in place.

"Don't make me rip it off," he growls, his eyes blazing with a volatile mix of anger and lust. It's a warning laced with danger, a reminder of the power he wields over you, “You’re so good for Jongseong, his…what did he call you? his ‘good little girl’, was that it?” he asks you with a condescending tone.

How did he know about that?

Your eyes widen and he idly rubs your pussy painfully slowly, sighing out loud with over-exaggeration, his eyes twinkling with mischief. Heeseung's knowledge of your intimate dynamics with Jongseong sends a shiver down your spine. His fingers, though moving torturously slowly, ignite sensations that both excite and terrify you. 

“What? You thought you could call upon the entirety of Hell and word wouldn’t get back to me?”

That night when Jongseong set your underwear ablaze and used your essence as a way to reach the pits below you. They heard it all; your whimpering and moaning for the angel, how you begged him to fuck you, and how he called you his good girl.

Which means Heeseung heard it all…

Spitting on your pussy, he licks it back up, the white foam sitting on his tongue as he draws it back into his mouth slowly. It’s another way of torturing you, of giving you a piece of him while just as quickly taking it away.

“If you can be a good girl for him, why aren’t you being one for me?” Heeseung's faux pout and slumped shoulders mask the dominance in his tone. With each flick of his finger, he revives the pain back onto your rose, denying you any reprieve.

You whimper with each taunt, wishing he would just go back to sucking your clit, to lick the wounds he created - but this is what you get when you play with fire.

Breathing out slowly, you nod, relenting your notion to be punished…for now.

“I’m sorry, I’ll be good,” you say sorrowfully, thrusting your clit up as you serve yourself to him on a plate.

Heeseung pauses, his expression shifting as he considers your apology. For a moment, it seems as though he might relent, his features softening with the faintest hint of hesitation. But then, with a wicked glint in his eyes, he shakes his head slowly.

"You know," he muses, his voice dripping with amusement, "I've always had a preference for bad girls." You almost moan out loud, the way his voice changed gear from one of anger to one so sultry you can forecast rain for the next two days.

He kisses your clit softly and slowly with his petal-soft lips. The lewd sounds of his mouth combined with your wetness elicit tiny whines from your lips, creating a symphony of want and distress. It's an ennui unlike any other you've ever known, a dizzying combination of pleasure and agony that leaves you wanting more.

Heeseung's lips dip lower, leaving a trail of fire in their wake as he explores every inch of your quivering flesh. He revels in the power he holds over you, relishing in the way your body responds to his touch.

"You want more, don’t you?" Heeseung's voice is a low murmur against your skin as he continues his tormenting actions. Each kiss, each caress sends ripples of sensation through you, building the tension to unbearable heights.

Before you can render yourself to say anything, he delves back in, his tongue now swirling in your hole, like he’s digging for treasure. You grasp desperately at the sheets beneath you, your nails digging into the fabric as you surrender yourself to the overwhelming ecstasy of his touch. 

What doesn’t help is when you look down at him and see him smirking up at you, rubbing his nose against your clit. It’s enough to make your eyes roll back and your legs seize up.

“Oh god, Heeseung..." you moan, the words escaping your lips in a breathless whisper as pleasure washes over you in waves.

He draws back, his eyes ablaze with raw desire, "That's right, baby," he growls, his voice dripping with dominance. "I am your God now."

As you close your eyes, you suddenly feel two of his fingers delving into you, the sensation causing your back to arch, thus, pushing your heat further into his face. Everything you are experiencing right now is so overwhelming, there is no let-up and you think this is both the most painful and best you have ever felt.

Heeseung’s concentration is solely on you cumming undone, wanting only to see your face when you are overcome with bliss. He has had to spend 6 weeks or so listening to his brothers talk about how beautiful and ethereal you look as the whites of your eyes take over; now it’s his turn.

Curling his fingers inside you, he beckons your orgasm forward, pushing against the spongy flesh of your walls, his middle digit hitting deliciously against a soft spot while he flicks his tongue over your bud. You wriggle beneath him, soft moans escaping your lips as you feel your tummy coil.

Heeseung's efforts are rewarded as your body responds to his touch, pleasure building to a crescendo until it explodes within you. With a crying scream, you call out his name, your thighs instinctively clamping around his head as you ride the waves of ecstasy crashing over you.

Your body arches, seeking both escape from his relentless touch and yet craving more of the intoxicating sensation he provides. In that moment of release, you are utterly and completely lost to him, surrendering yourself to the overwhelming pleasure he elicits from you.

Out of every orgasm you’ve had, this is the one that has rendered you completely dumb, incapable of doing anything more than panting and twitching.

But Heeseung doesn't grant you a moment to catch your breath. Even as your body shudders with the aftershocks of your climax, he commands you, his voice laced with authority. "Sit up," he orders, his tone brooking no argument as he guides you into a sitting position, his hand gripped tight in your hair as he yanks you forward. The air crackles with anticipation as you have no choice but to comply, “Strip me, baby.”

Without a second thought, you mindlessly rise to your feet, your fingers fumbling eagerly with the hem of Heeseung's loose white t-shirt. In one swift motion, you pull it over his head and toss it aside, your gaze hungrily tracing the contours of his bare chest. You want nothing more than to touch him, to caress his delicate skin with your hands, but you’re scared it’ll temper him into ripping all of this away from you.

Returning to sit on the bed with renewed enthusiasm, you focus your attention on his baggy grey joggers, swiftly untying the strings and pulling them down to reveal his naked form beneath. Your breath catches in your throat at the sight of his arousal, his impressive length standing semi-hard before you.

Without hesitation, you reach out and grasp his cock, feeling the heat of his faux skin beneath your fingertips. With a sense of urgency, you press your lips to his flushed tip, desperate to taste him before he can deny you the pleasure.

You lick at his shaft like he’s a frozen popsicle on a swarming hot summer day, your need driving your hurry as you coat him in saliva. The more you lick, the harder he gets and his throat has to hold back groans.

Heeseung's initial instinct is to reprimand you for your boldness, for daring to take control in such a way, but unlike Jongseong, he has little self-control, the pleasure he’s feeling as your mouth envelopes him fully is more than enough cause to let you continue. 

As his mouth relaxes and his eyes screw shut, you take advantage of the opportunity to explore him further, dropping your head to focus on his balls. The sensation is amazing, sending pleasure-filled sparks through his body as he surrenders part of himself to you. 

You’re so drunk on his cock right now that you don’t even care how desperate you look, you just need him in every way possible. If he asked, you would probably fuck him in his demon form;  as long as you could taste him on your tongue, that is all that matters.

Heeseung pushes your head back abruptly, his fingernails digging deep into your scalp, causing a disgruntled whine to fall from your mouth. 

The throbbing between your legs beats loudly in your eardrums as you look up and see his eyes, that same red flickering behind his pupils except this time, they swirl with a deep black cloud. You can tell he’s aching to be released from the confines of the doll suit, to break free and absolutely devour you in his true form. 

You should feel scared, petrified even, yet you only long for him more.

“You’ll never make it to heaven with a tongue like that, Baby.” 

His words, spoken with a hint of warning, only serve to fuel the fire burning within you, "What makes you think I want to go to heaven?" you retort, your voice dripping with desire and defiance.

With a sly smirk, Heeseung leans in closer, sending shivers down your spine, "Maybe you prefer the flames of hell," he murmurs, his tone laced with dark promise, "And I'll be more than happy to escort you there myself."

Heeseung's hand grips your hair with a firmness that borders on possessive. He then thrusts his cock into your mouth with commanding force, the sudden intrusion eliciting a gasp of surprise from you, causing you to choke slightly.

But that doesn’t stop him, instead, he just continues to batter your throat with his length brutally, each punch of his hips only further bruising your oesophagus. Tears well up in your eyes as you struggle to breathe. Yet, why do you love it? The feeling of your world almost going black, the way your body tightens around nothing but the desire to breathe, it’s deadly but you couldn’t be more alive.

Feeling you splurt out tiny breathes around his dick as you gasp for air, Heeseung pulls your head back, letting oxygen breathe back into your lungs.

He takes the moment to admire you; your hair tousled in his hands, your mascara smudging slightly around your eyes, and the spit mixed with some beads of his precum sliding slowly down your chin. You’re angelic, demonic, and everything he could ever want right now.

You’re so horny that not having his cock filling up one of your holes is leaving you whimpering, tears forming in your eyes - not from pain but need. You need to feel him in some way, you are starving for him, and one more second without tasting him might send you into madness.

And Heeseung knows it, he can hear your greatest, deepest desires after all. The thought of you under his spell without him using a single persuasive tactic is euphoric to him. Through the years, Soonyeol has grown accustomed to him, expecting his demanding nature but never truly worshipping him the way he wants; not the way you are right now.

This might only be for tonight but he will try and make it last an eternity.

Huffing out in frustration, you grow tired of waiting for Heeseung to make his move, opting instead to brush your face across his throbbing cock. The sensation of his velvety shaft against your cheeks is phenomenal, the need for contact driving you to this demoralising state. 

Closing your eyes, you relish in the tactile sensation, savouring the moment of intimacy as you slap his cock against your cheek and mouth. The hunger within you demands satisfaction, and you're willing to take whatever scraps of pleasure you can get, even if it's just the simple touch of his arousal against your skin.

“You’re so fucking filthy, baby,” he growls, his eyes blown in ecstasy while he watches you lather yourself with his member, “Are you that much of a cockslut?”

Absentmindedly you nod, owning up to the degrading nickname because, at the end of the day, that is exactly what you are right now; a cockslut, an ever-needing, desperate cockslut for none other than the high-ranking Prince of Hell.

Nudging your nose with his tip, you beg him like a dog to let go of your hair and stuff your mouth full once again. The mewls leaving your mouth flood Heeseung’s ears and he understands that you’re too far gone to form a sentence, so he grants your wish and shoves himself back into you.

His hips buck forward with a fierce urgency that sends your head shaking with each forceful thrust. The intensity of his movements makes your eyes roll back, driving you deeper into a state of arousal as you struggle to keep up with his rhythm.

But with your mouth full, your pussy is feeling dangerously left out, your entire heat seeking some form of release. Without realising it, you start to hump the air, moving your hips as though you were grinding on his cock.

Heeseung's movements falter for a moment as he notices your struggle to find complete pleasure. With a low grow, he halts his thrusts, his gaze intense as he takes in your flushed cheeks and heaving chest.

“Look at you,” he points out, shaking his head in feigned disbelief, watching as your juices leak out your cunt, staining his sheets a darker shade.

Smirking, he places his foot on the edge of the bed, pressing ever so lightly onto your dripping heat. You gasp and pop off his cock, looking down as you see your way to much-needed relief. Heeseung steps on you roughly, offering you a sturdy anchor which you eagerly accept. Despite the pain as the ball of his foot presses against your clit, you push your body against it, relishing in the firmness of his sole against your skin; you’ll take any relief you can get.

Every movement sends a surge of electric pleasure coursing through you, the friction between your bodies. You grind against him with increasing intensity, your hips undulating in perfect rhythm with his foot as you chase after the elusive peak of ecstasy.

“Keep sucking it or I’ll take it away,” he warns, tapping his cock on your gaped mouth

The chilling warning from Heeseung serves as a reminder of the balance between pleasure and punishment. Taking his cock back into your mouth with newfound vitality, you return to your task with a sense of urgency. The taste of him is intoxicating, fueling your urge to please him and avoid the consequences of disobedience. You do not want him to take anything away from you.

He moves in tandem with your hips, bringing you closer and closer to the edge as you fuck yourself shamelessly on his foot as if you were a wanton whore in heat. Your hands gripping his leg for more leverage, seeking another release as fast as possible.

Humming around his length in a high-pitched cry, you climax violently, your impulse to thrust forward only shoving his cock farther into your throat, stretching it wide in ways you don't believe is humanly possible. 

"Fuck-" Heeseung groans, the sound raw as he releases his thick ropes of cum down your throat, your climax setting off a chain reaction. His mouth hangs wide open as his throbbing shaft finds home in your canal, his eyebrows furrowed together as he loses himself. He can’t help but think what your perfect little pussy feels like as you cum, how it would squeeze him tighter than your throat can.

You are swimming in a pool of pure fire as you lose yourself to the engulfing of pleasure, riding his foot through your climax while swallowing his seed. This is a feeling you will never experience with any other man and you know now what he meant when he said you would never have looked at the others if he had his way with you first.

When both of your minds clear and your lungs are screaming out for oxygen, you pop off his cock, giving it an adoring kiss as a thank you for what has just happened and what it is about to do to you.

Looking down at you, Heeseung marvels at your display of gratitude, wishing every human was as worshipful. 

“I’d love to rip that soul from your body and stuff you in a doll suit so I can fuck you forever.”

His admission catches you both off guard, the silence of the afternoon lying dormant around the room. Did he mean that? Did he want to take your soul and keep you? It’s plausible considering his history but to hear it being said about you makes your blood run cold.

But at this moment, if he asked you to let him in and take you, you might just let him - or maybe it was the emptiness of your cunt that was talking.

“I don’t need to be a doll to fuck until the moon shines and the sunrises,” you whisper, your lust completely taking over your body. The once timid and unsure version of yourself has faded into oblivion, replaced by someone bold, relentless, and consumed by the craving to be stuffed with his cock.

He audibly groans, hearing how keen you are for him to devour you, not even put off by his threatening admission just moments earlier. Rolling his eyes to the back of his head and shaking his thoughts, Heeseung lifts your chin and pulls on your bottom lip, staring at you as he figures out exactly how he wants you. He swipes his tongue along the corner of his mouth, “I’m going to hold you to that, baby. Get on all fours,” he instructs.

Doing as he says, you turn around and drop to your hands and knees, offering yourself up to him as your heart pounds in your chest in exhilaration. You wiggle your ass a bit, hoping he'll take the hint and dive in, fucking you as hard and fast as he so wishes. 

Your ass is so perfect and plump he can’t help but grab at it, using his strong hands to knead your cheeks, pressing and pulling them apart as he takes quick glances at both of your holes. He wishes he had two cocks just to utterly destroy you with, each of your entrances filled with him as he pounds into you. Unfortunately, he only has one right now and he knows it’s your cunt that needs him the most, so he’ll save that idea for another time.

Grasping his cock, he slides it up and down your ass, shallowly tapping it to get him hard again, but with the way you’re already grasping the sheets in anticipation and your cunt is soaked with need, it doesn’t take him long. Heeseung strokes himself a couple of times before resting his tip at your gaping heat, the bell turning rosé as it pushes just slightly into you.

It's agonising, the way he waits there as though he's not equally consumed by the thought of rocking your world. He's deliberately drawing it out, savouring the anticipation, revelling in the sweet sound of your pleas, knowing that your cries for him are his ultimate desire fulfilled.

"Please, Heeseung," you whimper, arching your body towards him, desperate for the connection, but he always stays just out of reach, teasingly withholding what you crave.

You groan in frustration, your need for him becoming almost unbearable. He's in control, and you can't help but revel in the way he toys with you, pushing you to the brink of madness with his tantalising touch.

But there is only so much a girl can take, so with a resolute sparkle in your eyes, you make it clear that you will not be denied any longer. Ignoring his playful taunting, you reach between your bodies and direct his hardness to the entrance of your smooth heat. Swiftly, you impale yourself on him, a moan escaping your lips as you take him deep inside.

Heeseung's eyes widen in surprise, momentarily stunned by your boldness, but it's only for a minute before a wicked grin spreads across his face. You are so much more than he could have ever imagined.

Slapping your ass harshly, he hopes to still you but it only makes you rock onto him faster. You set a punishing pace, riding him with abandon, lost in the ecstasy of finally having him where you want him. 

Again, he crashes his hand painfully against your cheek but you won’t stop, you can’t, his dick is so delicious as it sucks into your cunt. Rapidly, he hits you, one, two, three, four, all in quick strikes and all you can do is clench your pussy around him and moan, picking up your pace.

“I can’t even punish you because you love it,” he notes, leaning back to observe you in awe, loving how your body is starting to flush with sweat as you work overtime to take what you need from him. 

“Fuck I wish you could see how pathetic you look right now.”

Gripping the sheets beneath you, your knuckles turn white as your chest tightens. The angle of his cock is hitting you so deliciously that you can’t even breathe properly or register a word he’s saying. All you heard was ‘pathetic’ and you agree with him because that’s how you’re backing yourself onto his long shaft.

Heeseung watches you in amazement, his own desire growing as he observes your relentless determination. "You love it, don't you?" he remarks, his voice laced with true admiration. He lets you have a few more moments of fun, clasping his hands at the back of his neck and pulling down, watching you with dangerous eyes. With the way your walls are closing in, he knows you’re close. “Tell me you love my cock.”

You nod, burying your face into the sheets as your coil threatens to snap, the harsh rhythm you set for yourself is faltering slightly as you reach your next climax. But when you don’t answer him and stroke his ego, it snaps Heeseung back into his domineering state. 

Roughly bunching up your hair, he pulls your face from the bed and leans into your ear, his chest laid flat against your back, “Fucking answer me when I speak to you. Tell me you fucking love it,” he growls out his demands, ripping some of your hair from their roots.

Your breath catches in your throat as his grip tightens, a mixture of pain and pleasure coursing through you. With a whimper, you finally concede, unable to resist his commanding presence any longer. "I love it," you gasp, your voice strained with need as you surrender to his dominance. "I love your cock so fucking much!"

A satisfied smirk spreads across Heeseung's lips as he releases your hair, his fingers trailing down your spine in a possessive caress, "That's what I thought," he murmurs, his voice sneering before pushing your head into the mattress.

From that moment on, the dynamic shifts entirely. Heeseung takes control with ruthless determination, smothering your face into the softness of the bedsheets. His strength overwhelms you as he holds you firmly in place, your features pressed into the fabric until you know you'll emerge from this session with a pounding headache.

Your muffled protests are lost in the sheets as Heeseung continues to assert his dominance, his grip unyielding. He piledrives into you, his foot now on the edge of the bed to give him more stability. His skin is furiously slapping against yours as he takes you brutally from behind.

"You wanted this, remember? Now, let me show you who's in charge."

Releasing your head, Heeseung grants you a moment to gulp in air, your chest heaving as you crave the sweet relief of oxygen. But his attention swiftly shifts, his hands now gripping your hips with a firmness that promises bruises, yet you welcome it eagerly. With each powerful thrust, he plunges deeper into you, his sizable cock filling you to the brim with each relentless motion.

With hunger burning in his eyes, Heeseung unleashes his pent-up desire upon you, each thrust a savage declaration of his dominance. The weight of his body presses you into the mattress, his strength undeniable as he takes complete control.

His fingers dig into the soft flesh of your hips, leaving faint crescent-shaped marks in their wake, tangible evidence of his possession. Every time he thrusts, he claims you anew, his relentless rhythm driving you to the edge of sanity and pleasure.

The sound of your mingled moans fills the air, a symphony of ecstasy and pain as he pushes you to the brink and pulls you back again. Your senses are overwhelmed by the scent of sweat and sex, the slick friction of your bodies moving together in perfect synchrony. 

You’ve got a pussy that could even make demons pray, Heeseung thinks to himself. He could watch you all day, how your cunt swallows him like its sole purpose was to please his cock. But as much as he likes the shape of your body as he takes you from behind, he longs to see that pretty face of yours when you cum.

Heeseung flips you onto your back, pinning you beneath him as he continues to ravish you with unrestrained passion, his hands pressing hard on your waist. Your head spins as the world shifts, your back now pressed firmly against the mattress, every inch of your skin tingling with anticipation.

His eyes fixate on your bouncing tits, a wolfish grin spreading across his lips as he watches them with rapt attention. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, instinct taking over as he becomes entranced by the sight of your pretty mounds. 

"You're so fucking gorgeous,” his voice husky with desire as he reaches out to caress your soft skin, his touch setting your nerves ablaze with longing. He seems so gentle right now, like the demon inside him has subsided. You cherish the tiny glimpses of his vulnerability, knowing they come few and far between.

The tender moment doesn’t last long though as he quickens his pace once more, the bed beneath you squeaking and whimpering along with you. 

Suddenly, his hand finds its way between your legs, his fingers deftly seeking out your clit. A sharp gasp escapes your lips as pleasure shoots through you, but before you can protest, his touch becomes too much, too overwhelming.

"It's too much," you whimper, trying to push his hand away, but he only presses harder, his grip unyielding. "Please, Heeseung, it's too-"

"Shut up," he interrupts, his voice firm and devilish as he continues to play with you, driving you closer to the edge with each relentless stroke. "You love it, and you know it."

And you do, you love it so much more than you can even describe. Your body stiffens as you feel yourself about to experience your nth orgasm. Honestly, you’ve lost track of how many it is now, the whole night blending into one big bout of pleasure.

You arch your back as his bell strokes right along your soft spot, causing a wave of ecstasy to wash over you, your mouth opens as you let out an earth-shattering cry, “Holy fuck, Heeseung!” 

But he shows no signs of slowing down, his movements becoming even more relentless as he drives you closer and closer to the edge. And then, with a primal roar, you feel it - the sudden, intense release as pleasure explodes within you, shooting through your body like a bolt of lightning.

Heeseung thinks, no, he knows this is what heaven looks like, it has to be; the way your body opens up as wide as it can go, laying yourself bare like this while chanting a ritual of profanities. You look like you’re being exorcised and it’s so fucking hot to him.

What he takes a minute to notice though, is how his stomach and arm are being covered in your release, pouring out of you so perfectly as you bathe him in your essence. You’re squirting for him. 

Smirking, he doesn’t let up the flicks to your clit or the pointed thrusts into your pussy, he wants to see how long this can last.

As you thrash beneath him, Heeseung lifts your hips higher with his left arm, driving into you with even greater force, his movements relentless as he seeks to elicit every last drop of pleasure from you. With each thrust, your juices flow even more freely, coating him in a slick sheen of your arousal.

"Holy hell, Baby," he breathes, a smirk playing on his lips as he watches you squirm beneath him. "Look at you baptising me."

He chuckles to himself, the sound a mix of amusement and arousal as he revels in the sensation of being drenched in your ecstasy. If this was the holy water people spoke about, he might just turn up to church every Sunday.

The tears falling from your eyes at the overstimulation tell him it’s time to drive it home, to finally let go and satisfy his own needs once again. Slowly, he shifts his weight, positioning himself for the final act of surrender. With each deliberate movement, he inches closer to the edge, his desire burning fiercely as he prepares to claim what is rightfully his.

Entering you once more, he relishes in the sensation of your heat enveloping him, drawing him deeper into the abyss of pleasure. Each thrust brings him closer to the brink, his senses ablaze, and just like that, he is cumming inside of you, shooting ropes of his white seed deep into your womb.

You open your eyes to catch a glimpse of him, unable to get a good visual last time with his cock stuffed deep into your throat. You expect to see his vulnerability as with climaxes comes a complete lack of control, but you see something far different to your imagination.

His eyes are clouded with red, like he’s rolling his pupils so far back that you’re looking straight into his demon entity, like you can see the Prince of Hell in his true form. In some sick way, you don’t think he has looked more beautiful. He moans loudly but his voice is deeper, more threatening than usual, yet you find yourself reaching for his face, his allure drawing you in further than ever before.

His aura is dark and cloying, yet there's a slight change within him the second your fingertips brush his face. As if your touch can soothe the storm within him, the whirling black and crimson cloud that envelops him appears to diminish. He closes his eyes as he gives in to the calming effect of your touch.

Never before in his life has he met someone who could have such an effect on him. Although he is in control at this very moment, he is well aware that your power could render him defenceless with just a single gesture.

Guiding him, you pull his face down to you as you kiss him softly, breathing your life into him gently which he gladly accepts. As the kiss deepens, he shifts you gently, urging you to rest your head on his pillow, eliciting a soft sigh from you as you comply, sinking into the comfort of the mattress beneath you. He continues to explore your lips with a playful urgency, teasing you as you chase his elusive kisses.

“Heeseung-” you whine out but it barely makes audio waves as the fucking your throat received and the screams that ripped from your chest make it hard to talk.

Bringing his hand up to your throat, he applies gentle pressure, his touch like a soothing balm against the burning sensation. With each stroke of his fingers, the tension in your voice box begins to ease, the discomfort gradually fading away beneath his tender ministrations.

Heeseung meets your gaze with a fond intensity, sliding his cock out slowly as he shifts his body to create a space for you to lay your head on his chest. His arms wrap securely around you and he cradles you close, the steady rhythm of your heartbeat returning. 

"If you want this life," he starts, his stare fixed on you, "Let me give it to you." He promises you the future your spirit so desperately desires with a voice that is both powerful and supple, promising support and unfaltering devotion.

There's a part of you that yearns to leap up and accept, drawn to the allure of the life he promises. Yet, you can hear a distant warning of whispers in the recesses of your mind, reminding you of the consequences of such a choice. You can't ignore the lessons learned from Soonyeol's fate, knowing that trading one form of captivity for another may not be the answer. She is happy right now but for how long could she possibly stay that way?

"Y/N?" Jaeyun's voice breaks through the haze, its urgency slicing through the intimate moment with Heeseung. It reverberates down the halls, each bounce signalling his approach, yet the vastness of the mansion keeps him at a distance, prolonging the inevitable interruption.

You tear yourself away from Heeseung’s grip, sitting up as you dare not to look at him, “I can’t have this life, Heeseung. This belongs to Soonyeol.”

As you move to get up and dress, Heeseung grips your face, forcing you to meet his gaze. His eyes bore into yours, studying you with an intensity that leaves your soul feeling exposed, laid bare before him.

"Say the word and she's gone, baby," he murmurs, his voice low and determined. The fondness and devotion he once held for his minder seem to fade into the background as he tries to persuade you to stay.

Your eyes widen in disbelief at his implication; how could he suggest getting rid of Soonyeol so easily, especially someone who gave their soul to him? While he may believe it's what you want to hear, his words only serve to deepen your doubts about his loyalty and commitment. If he can toss her aside, how quickly will it take him to move on from you?

Pulling his hand from your face, you hold it against your chest, “You told me you don’t break your promises, Heeseung,” you gently confront him. Yet, as you look into his eyes, you see sincerity within them, making you question whether he means his words to you.

“Y/N? Where are you?” Jaeyun shouts once again, panic in his vocals.

“Let me give you your desires,” Heeseung’s lips upturn as he watches your brain fight itself between yielding and defying your urges.

“Y/N? Can you answer me?”

“Come on, Y/N, say it. Tell me you want this.”

“Please answer me!”

Your body instinctively leans into Heeseung's touch, drawn in by the intensity of his gaze as he strokes your cheek with a gentle caress. It's as if you're caught in a trance, captivated by the magnetic pull of his presence.

But even as you feel yourself slipping under his spell, the echo of Jaeyun's pleas reverberates in your mind and with a jolt, you force yourself to pull away from the Prince's enchanting hold, breaking free from the spell he's woven around you.

“I don’t want this,” you push Heeseung away, your heart beating quickly as you realise what you have almost done, the distance from his touch giving you a sense of clarity, dispelling the fog of desire that clouded your judgement. “This is Soonyeol’s life, not mine. I won’t trade in one hell for another.”

Heeseung's eyes flash with anger for a fleeting moment, a storm brewing behind his gaze. But just as quickly as it comes, he reigns in his emotions, the tempest within him subsiding as he regains his composure. 

“Fine. Don’t stay. But let me make these two weeks you have left count,” his signature smug expression returns as though you hadn’t seen the soul behind the demon a mere 10 minutes ago.

_____

Packing your bag, a heavy weight settles over you, dragging you down as you come to terms with the reality that this is the end. Two months of fear, lust, adoration, and anxiety swirl together in a tumultuous cocktail of emotions, each one vying for dominance as you prepare to bid farewell to it all.

With each item you place into your bag, it’s as if you’re emptying a foreign version of yourself. You know when you go home you’ll wear these same clothes and brush your hair with the same bristles, but it won’t be you anymore.

Maybe you should have taken Heeseung up on his offer.

Or perhaps this is the start of a new chapter for you. This new identity you feel surging inside your veins might help you navigate the big bad world a little easier. 

Feeling a pair of arms encircle you from behind, you instinctively lean into Jaeyun's embrace, his presence offering a sense of solace amidst the uncertainty. His chin rests on your shoulder, his nose tickling the skin of your neck as he nuzzles closer, seeking comfort in your embrace.

"Please don't go, Y/N. I need you," he whispers, his voice trembling with emotion. The vulnerability in his words pierces through your own turmoil, reminding you of the depth of his feelings and the pain of letting go.

At that moment, as you stand entwined together, you both understand the weight of the connection that binds you. It's more than just the physical intimacy you've shared; it's a bond forged throughout your two months here. Everyone can see it, feel it - the undeniable truth that your relationship transcends mere physical attraction.

But you need to let him go.

"You don't need me, Baby doll," you murmur softly, your voice tinged with resignation. "You've got Soonyeol. She will look after you just like before."

As the words leave your lips, a sorrowful cloud settles over you, the reality of your impending departure sinking in. Despite the pain of leaving Jaeyun behind, you find solace in the knowledge that he won't be alone, that someone will be there to care for him in your absence.

But even as you try to reassure him, a part of you can't shake the feeling of loss that grips your heart. Though Soonyeol may provide comfort and support, you know that your absence will leave a void that can't be easily filled.

Sunghoon hugs you both from the side, his sudden presence a comfort. Even after you discovered that he was a demon, you knew deep down he wasn’t a terrible soul, he was just trapped in bad circumstances, forced to live a life he hated. There is evil within him, that much is true, but he wouldn’t use it haphazardly or indiscriminately.

“I’ll miss you too, baby girl. More than I think I’d like to admit,” he confesses, squeezing you and Jaeyun tight in his arms.

“Y/N, can I speak to you for a moment?” Jongseong’s voice rings loud in your temporary room, causing you and your boys to break apart. Tenderly kissing each of them goodbye, they gracefully exit the room, leaving you alone with Jongseong, granting you both the privacy needed for your conversation.

"What's up? Gonna miss me?" you tease, playfully punching Jongseong's shoulder.

Jongseong chuckles, a hint of sadness in his eyes as he nods. "More than you'll know...but I need to tell you something."

The playful banter fades away, replaced by a solemn atmosphere that settles between you. The air grows heavy with anticipation as you wait for Jongseong to speak, sensing that whatever he has to say is of great importance.

Taking a deep breath, Jongseong meets your gaze with a mix of concern and determination. "Y/N, I need you to do something for me," he begins, his voice steady despite the weight of his request.

"What is it?" you inquire, your curiosity piqued by the seriousness in his tone.

Jongseong hesitates for a moment before speaking, his words measured and deliberate. "I need you to talk to Heeseung," he says, his expression earnest, "Ask him to untether Jaeyun from Soonyeol."

“What? Why?”

“Heeseung told you Jaeyun’s story, right? How he was supposed to be a guardian?” Jongseong's eyebrows raise expectantly, his gaze searching your face for understanding. Slowly, you nod, though confusion clouds your features. Sighing, Jongseong clasps his hands together as he continues, “I think…somehow…he is supposed to be your guide, your guardian angel.”

Jaeyun? Your guardian angel? A mighty laugh leaves your lips as you think he’s pulling some sick joke, but he is not laughing, not even a hint of mischief playing around on his expression. He is deadly serious here.

“Wait…what? But aren’t guardian angels assigned at like, birth or something?” you question, not wrapping your mind around the idea just yet. 

Jongseong nods thoughtfully, his expression grave. "Yes, traditionally, that's how it works," he replies, his tone tinged with uncertainty, "But sometimes, fate has a way of... rearranging things. Guardian angels can also be soulmates in the realm of living.”

You lean back, trying to process this new information. "So, you’re now telling me that Jaeyun is my soulmate? So which is he?"

“Well, when he died it was sudden and tragic, no one saw it coming. It wasn’t planned the way God intended and that day you lost your soulmate. But you were meant to gain your angel that day…until Heeseung pulled him away.”

The weight of Jongseong's words hangs heavily in the air, sinking deep into your consciousness. A sense of disbelief washes over you as you try to comprehend the implications of his revelation. Jaeyun, your soulmate? The idea seems both surreal and profound, challenging everything you thought you knew about love and destiny.

There is no denying the connection you have but it all seems more outlandish than the library having a fire telephone to ring hell up and have a gab.

Jongseong feels your body overcoming with contemplation and questioning his words, so he jumps in. “All the signs are there, Princess. The connection you both have, how you can feel one another's emotions, Jaeyun has even been telling me he feels like there is a string pulling him to you.”

“A string?”

"Mhm, It is what binds a guardian angel to their human, and when you leave, it will shatter, just like your heart, and you will both be in such agony that it will swallow you whole," he says solemnly, his voice tinted with his personal experiences, "Trust me, I know it better than anyone."

Jongseong and Soonyeol…their string must have been broken once he was banished from being her guide. As you look at the sadness etched across his face, you know you never want to experience the pain they both must have felt.

“I don’t want to let him go, but he belongs here with Soonyeol. Heeseung told me how she needed him too,” you whisper, your voice barely above a murmur as you confess your inner anguish.

He feels your pain and inwardly cries for you. Gently, he uses two of his fingers to lift your chin, his eyes boring into yours as he pleads with you. “YOU need him, Sweetheart, just like he needs you. Please, grant me permission to speak to Heeseung on your behalf, I’ll sort something out with him, okay?”

His words resonate deep within you, stirring a sense of hope amidst the despair. Maybe Jongseong could convince Heeseung somehow. Perhaps your time spent with Heeseung over the past two weeks would count for something. After all, there had been moments of connection and understanding between you, moments that hinted at a deeper bond than he would probably like to admit.

But then doubt creeps in. Would Heeseung truly consider your feelings in his decision? Or would he give you the same ultimatum he had given before - stay and he would rid this house and the boys of Soonyeol, without a second thought?

You suppose you have to try, right?

“Talk to him, but only if Jaeyun wants to, this is his decision too.”

_____

As the sound of Soonyeol’s car driving up the gravel path reaches your ears, it feels like her tyres are rolling over your heart. Standing with your bags packed, you glance at the boys, each of them sitting in their dining room seats, ready to take on their doll personas once again. Each of their gazes says something different, but sorrow is evident.

“I’ll miss you guys,” you pout, unable to suppress the sadness that tugs at your heartstrings. Fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt, you try to mask the ache of impending departure with a feeble attempt at a smile. But the weight of the moment looms, casting a shadow over the room as you prepare to say goodbye to the home and the family you've come to cherish.

“We’ll miss you too, baby girl,” Sunghoon smiles softly, his hand reaching out to grasp yours one last time, a silent reassurance amidst the impending farewell.

Jaeyun's expression is heavy with heartache, his eyes pleading with you to stay, but you can't bear to meet his gaze. You know that Jongseong's talk with Heeseung didn't go as hoped, and the disappointment hangs thick in the air, making your departure that much more difficult.

Suddenly, Jaeyun stands up, his movements swift as he storms over to you. Without a word, he pulls you into a passionate kiss, his hands cradling your cheeks as he pours all his love and longing into the embrace. In that fleeting moment, time seems to stand still, the world falling away as you lose yourself in the warmth of his touch, savouring the taste of his lips against yours.

You hug him tightly, forcing the lump in your throat to retreat back to your stomach, cherishing this last moment.

“Jaeyun, get back in your seat, Soonyeol will be here any minute,” Heeseung warns, his voice pulling you both from your moment. 

As Jaeyun's lips leave yours, the air between you crackles with unspoken emotions. His stare is intense, searching yours for any way he can stay with you. But you can only offer him a small, sad smile, knowing that your time together is slipping away with each passing second.

The thing that hurts the most is that Jaeyun has no clue that he is your soulmate or was supposed to be your guardian angel, he just thinks he’s losing your love when in fact, he’s losing part of his soul that you’ll take with you.

“I gave you my number, yeah? Give me a call anytime you can,” you mutter into his lips, finally stepping back to let him go back to the life he knows.

Within a second of Jaeyun taking his place, Soonyeol comes through the door, a gleeful smile plastered on her face as he looks straight at her dolls. It’s evident that she’s missed them but then again, who wouldn’t? You know as soon as you leave here you’re going to have a hole in your heart, pieces of it left with each one of them - even Heeseung.

Turning, she looks at you sceptically, noting the off atmosphere in the room but you don’t allow her a second to ponder it, interjecting as she goes to speak. “So, Soonyeol, how was your trip?”

“Oh, it was excellent! Just a few bits and bobs to tidy up.” She avoids divulging your curiosity. It’s clear her business was either extremely mundane to the point that there was nothing to tell you about, or that she is still harbouring a secret from you. To be honest, you think you’re done snooping and uncovering secrets for the rest of your life.

Ignorance might just be bliss.

She rummages her tote bag in search of a brown envelope, which she gladly hands you, “Here is everything, I counted it 5 times so it should be right,” you marvel at the wad of cash in your hand. Never in your life have you seen this much money in one go, it’s truly amazing. “How were my boys? I hope they didn’t cause too much trouble.”

“Like they were never here,” you lie, smiling softly which eases Soonyeol’s mind.

“Thank you so much, Y/N. I can tell you’ve done a wonderful job here, I can’t thank you enough!” she beams as she looks longingly into Heeseung’s eyes. There is a spark of adoration between them that makes you smile, although you do want to warn her that he would have literally killed her if you asked him to.

Again, ignorance is bliss.

Gathering your belongings, you give the dolls one last look over, feeling a pang of sadness at the thought of leaving them behind. With a heavy sigh, you turn to Soonyeol, offering her a small, grateful smile.

"It was a pleasure, Soonyeol. Thank you for trusting me enough to look after them and this house," you say, your voice overcome with sincerity.

Soonyeol returns your smile, her expression warm and genuine. "If I ever need anyone again, you will be first on my call list," she replies, her words carrying a sense of appreciation for your dedication.

You bid farewell to the house and the memories it holds as you trudge through the long hallways. You can't help but feel a sense of gratitude for the experiences you've shared and the bonds you've formed. You’ll miss them all so dearly that it hurts you to even turn your back on them, but you know it’s for the best.

Carting your suitcase along the gravel, you catch sight of your car sitting patiently, a thin layer of dust coating its surface from the weeks it's spent waiting for your return. You had given up on cleaning it a while ago, unable to bear the reminders that your departure was imminent.

With a heavy heart, you click the boot open and shove your suitcase inside, the action punctuated by the force with which you slam it shut. Each motion is filled with a mix of sadness and frustration, emotions that have been simmering beneath the surface.

“Y/N, wait!” The familiar voice cuts through the air, causing your heart to skip a beat. Turning around, you're met with a sight that fills you with both hope and trepidation. 

Your heart quickens in your chest as you spot Jaeyun darting towards you, his face a blend of determination and urgency. Without hesitation, he closes the distance between you in a few rapid strides, his fingers reaching out to ensnare yours.

In an instant, he envelops you in his embrace, his lips descending upon yours in a sudden, fervent kiss. Time appears to halt as the world fades into the background, leaving only the two of you entwined in a whirlwind of emotion.

The kiss is a whirlwind of emotion, a testament to the depth of your connection, leaving you both breathless and exhilarated.

As you pull away, a sense of urgency floods through you, prompting you to glance back at the house with a surge of panic. "Jaeyun, go back inside. Soonyeol-"

But before you can finish, Jaeyun interrupts with a bright smile, his arms still wrapped around you protectively, "I'm coming with you," he declares, punctuating his words with a gentle kiss on your nose.

Your eyes widen in disbelief, confusion swirling in your mind, "But I thought Heeseung said no?" you ask, searching Jaeyun's face for reassurance.

Jaeyun nods, holding you tight to him, “He said he was just waiting for Soonyeol, to ask if she would let me go and she said yes, can you believe it?” 

No. No, you really can’t.

Then again, you know from your time with Heeseung and the box of cherished memories between him and Soonyeol that he really does do everything for her. If she wanted to keep Jaeyun then Heeseung would never dream of cutting the tie between the younger and his minder. 

A wave of relief washes over you, mingled with a sense of wonder at the unexpected turn of events. In that moment, you realise that your happy ending isn't just a distant dream - it's within reach, waiting for you to seize it. 

Glancing back at the house, you spot the others standing at the door, their figures framed by the warm glow of the sun. Soonyeol stands among them, her expression a mix of fondness and understanding, a knowing grin playing at the corners of her lips as she waves you off. She doesn’t look upset at the boys for blowing the secret but rather happy that one of them found serenity with someone the way she has with this house, with the dolls.

Quite honestly, you thought she would have blown a gasket but she isn’t the evil overlord you pictured her to be, even after Heeseung’s story of how she just wanted away from her toxic family you thought she must be hiding something to go to such lengths; perhaps hurt them or worse. But she really is just a girl, looking to live a peaceful life with a family she chooses, not one picked for her by God.

It all makes sense, calling upon Heeseung, because she lost her faith in the divine. Even heaven banished Jongseong for being dedicated to his job which tore them apart, she just did what she had to do.

A pang of sadness washes over you as you realise you're leaving behind the friends who have become like family to you. Each of them holds a piece of your heart, and the thought of saying goodbye, tugs at your emotions.

But as you turn to face Jaeyun, his hand clasped firmly in yours and that puppy-like smile plastered on his face, a sense of peace settles over you. With him by your side, you know you'll be okay. 

Besides, who says you can’t pop back for a visit?

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