How To Hold Your Hunter

WAIT. can we PLEASE also consider the last shot of 15x18 where dean is sitting there sobbing and they had jensen do ADR for it. and how jensen said he played that scene as him sitting there thinking "i didn't give him anything. i should have told him i loved him" and what if. i mean. imagine IF dean had said it back then. to an empty room after the fact, just completely shattered. and they edited and redubbed the scene to cut it out. yes this is me with my conspiracy theory hat on, yes i can still absolutely see the CW ordering that shit to be cut

love the fact that there’s literally no escape from destiel ever. like even if you don’t give a fuck about them you’ll still find out about important stuff with the destiel meme in 2050

god i love the motel scene in on the head of a pin where uriel and cas come to take dean away to torture alastair. it is such a good early destiel scene. dean is so pissed and cas is just standing over in the corner all “dean we know this is difficult to understand” while uriel is saying “and we dont care!” cas looks straight ahead like fuck i messed up again AND THEN the way that dean looks at cas and the way that cas refuses to look back at him. and then when he finally does he looks so conflicted! and then dean just looks only at cas and pleads with him “you cant ask me to do this cas—not this” and cas looks like he wants to give in he wants to give dean whatever he wants but he’s still fighting it! still trying to be the good soldier he thinks he is. this episode is literally such a turning point for cas’s character. he hasn’t quite reached the point of no return yet but this is the episode where he finally takes a big step in that direction

I will never let anyone forget about this

Cas would fucking love an iced pumpkin spiced latte in the fall and dean would pretend he hates them and make fun of him for ordering it but then drink the whole thing.

I can’t…the XO Dean Winchester signature has me fucked up. 🥺

So sweet of Jensen to do this!

https://x.com/padaleckiharvey/status/1697299755079184426?s=46

destiel body swap episode i know you would've done great

Dean Winchester & hug dynamic analysis

I was thinking about how whenever Dean hugs someone he's almost always the one hugging the other and how this links to his psychological trauma of always being the caretaker of people, making himself bigger to protect them.

Because that's how Dean sees himself, as a shield for others, and then I thought about how Cas actually is the shield, and he's HIS SHIELD, specifically, the only one who's really there to protect HIM, which is why it hits so much when we see this:

The way Cas wraps his arms around him, trying to protect him with his whole body--that he'd use as a shield and give up in a second if he could spare him from any pain and save him.

(for context: Dean was about to go use the soul bomb on Amara there, it was a suicide mission)

Bobby is another one that hits, he hugs him as the big hugger because he's his father, he loves him and he's actually here to protect him (and Dean LETS him -barely, but he lets him *and Cas* - in a way that he doesn't let Sam)

I watched a compilation of Sam & Dean hugs to check if i was right about it, but it's almost always Dean the big hugger with Sam, except when he's about to die or Sam sees him alive again after losing him.

Even then, Dean mostly tries to hug Sam as the big hugger anyway, with at least one arm, like a way to comfort him, making him feel protected, like his body language is saying "I'm here, I'm okay, I'm still strong, i can still protect you" (because their real father failed and Dean thinks it's his job).

He rarely lets himself be the little one hugged with Sam, unless he's barely conscious. Which is why it kills me so much more now that in this moment (s14, when Dean was going to lock himself in the Ma'lak box cause he was possessed by Michael) and Sam has a desperate breakdown and punches him (to stop him) he forcefully hugs him as the little hugger, the way Dean always kept him, like a way of saying "I still need you to protect me, please don't do this to yourself".

In the scene below he gives Sam his blessing to do a dangerous (possibly suicidal) mission, and one of his arms is down, but the other one tries to stay up--he's forcing himself to do it and he struggles because he still wants to protect him, but (as the seasons progress) he slowly becomes more prone to let go.

So in this view the hug dynamic becomes an indicator of how Dean sees Sam (and himself) and his protector role, how adult and self sufficient he considers Sam, and how much he lets people around him take care of him, lowering his walls and letting himself be hugged.

This is also why i think hugs from characters like Garth or Charlie are so special, because they're just like us: they see Dean and they just know that he needs to be hugged a lot, and that he's not used to it, so they just go for it-- and it's so normal and kind and spontaneous that Dean's just not used to it-- he doesn't know how to respond (especially with Garth, at the beginning, but as the seasons progress, he learns to, and he even initiates the hug eventually).

I love the hugs where they're 50/50 (one arm up, one arm down both), feels like they're equals, both taking care of each other. I feel like with Sam and Dean, this indicates a healthier dynamic, because Dean lets go a little of the role that was imposed to him and manages to see Sam as the strong individual that he is. But the same applies to 50/50 hugs with other characters, like with Cas, where I feel like it testifies how equals they feel in terms of being fighters, there's a show of respect of each other's strength that transpires by the gesture (which is even more astounding considering that Cas is literally a powerful angel).

And just to end on a destiel note, I'd like to note the possessiveness and protectiveness of Dean (rightfully so) whenever he finds Cas after he thought he had lost him, and how that translates into his body/hug language:

I need dean/cas fanfic recommendations.

I’m desperate for anything good but preferably something kinda angsty. Some hurt/comfort for the soul. Preferably over 5000 words. And it NEEDS to have a happy ending.

Please give me suggestions 💙💚