Rb To Give A Flower To The Person You Rb This From

and through it all, the crowd is still chanting 'cha cha cha'....

IMPORTANT!!

Stay safe, guys!!

❗AVOID THESE PEDOPHILES AT ALL COSTS! ❗

I was scrolling through Tumblr and came across a post of KNOWN PEDOPHILES ON TUMBLR (many of which have or want to rape actual children/minors)

THERE ARE ACTUAL PEDOPHILES ON TUMBLR TRYING TO GET IN TOUCH WITH MINORS ON TUMBLR

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST THIS LIST AND KEEP OUR MINORS SAFE

reblog to give a plushie to the person you reblogged this from

ℍ𝕆𝕎 𝕃𝕆ℕ𝔾 (𝟙/𝟛)

♱ Parings : Pro hero! Bakugou Katsuki x fem! reader (They are 24)

♱ Tags : Reader cries alot and is lonely, Katsuki is an asshole in this part (sorry guys, I've been craving angst and fluff), mentions of mental wellbeing, mentions of toxic relationship, yelling, screaming, humiliation and anger.

All written in bold italics is a flashback.

♱ Synopsis : Realizing how much she had been neglecting herself for the man she loves and is married to, (Y/N) leaves him with the promise to come back once she rediscover herself once more. How long would it take for him to break and her to heal? Would it be enough to salvage their marriage?

♱ Warnings : This would be an 18+ story going ahead, so minors. Stay the fuck out.

For the first part there is nothing much to add.

♱ Saint says : It's finally here !! Haven't written bakugou in so long, that I finally did!!

♱ Status : It’s unedited. If there are mistakes while I’m re reading it, I’ll correct it :)

♱ Word count : 4.5k words.

Tag list for this series is open. If you want to be added, feel free to comment below . Please make sure you have your age in your bio or somewhere I can see it (including dms or I won’t hesitate to block you.

Do not copy, recreate, translate or edit my works.

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‘In sickness and in health.’

‘To have and to hold.’

‘To cherish and to love.’

‘Till death do us part.’

“Marriages were matches made in heaven” was a household statement you grew up with.

‘Where did we go wrong?’.

It hadn’t been long since Katsuki and you had decided to tie the knot, but with the way things were going on lately, it sure seems like the bond of matrimony had been dragged out long enough for the both of you to not stay in the same room, let alone stand the sight of each of each other without another argument breaking out.

“Why don’t you fucking go take a vacation by yourself?! Why do I have to be dragged along?” Katsuki yelled from the couch as you scrolled through a list of hotel rooms. “Japan isn’t going to collapse if you’re away for a few days, Katsuki. Heroes would be on a watch like they always have and the country along with its cities would be safe. Besides, it would be a good break for us-” you tried to reason, only to be met with a harsh glare that signaled there was no room for discussion. “What does a school teacher know about a hero? All you do is take care of snot nosed brats who do nothing but run around and play all day.” Katsuki muttered under his breath before turning to leave you in the middle of the room, whilst you clutched your laptop to your chest. His voice was low enough to convince himself that you didn’t hear him, but you did.

Arguments were not new with Katsuki. At first glance, he was loud and brash which women did not usually desire in a man. Patience was key when it came to dealing with him, and overtime, loving him became as easy as breathing.

“I told you to not leave your gauntlets on the floor Katsuki! Look!” you said, lifting the heavy object off the ground, frowning when another scotch mark was added to several. “Would you calm the fuck down? I just got home after a long day of catching some goddamn villain. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with you or your whiny ass.” he retorted venomously, kicking his shoes to the side in anger while throwing his gloves on the rack beside the entrance of your shared home. With a heavy breath through his mouth, he walked past you, not bothering to fix the mess he had made. Hearing footsteps disappear behind you, you felt a tear roll down your cheek, turning towards his messily scattered boots and gloves.

‘He might need them tomorrow’ you told yourself as you bent to pick up the shoes he threw in anger and kept them in their rightful place towards the right shelf that had been specifically designed for them. Picking up his gauntlets and placing them to the side, you stared at the sunken scorch mark into the wood, wishing it would disappear. Instead, it remained there as a memory of the time you didn’t matter to Katsuki.

“Why did you come to the agency? I told you I had a conference and you walked right in the middle of that.” Katsuki said angrily, running a hand through his hair while the other rested on his hip. “I told you I’m sorry. I just came by to drop your lunch-” you said, clenching your fists by your side. “Your lunch just caused a fucking embarassment (Y/N). Don’t you know how long I have dreamt of building this agency?” he asked in a dark voice. Hot tears threatened to spill from the corner of your eyes as you stood before the tall blonde man. You heard a sigh of disappointment from his mouth before he spoke again. “No answer huh… says alot about ‘my wife’. Go home. You’ve embarrassed me enough today.” Katsuki said, closing the glass door of the office behind him, leaving you in the empty hallway. With a turn of your heel, you made a beeline for the bathroom, closing the stall door behind you, you clutched your hair in despair and stared at the tiles beneath you while your back rested against the door, watching as each teardrop left its mark on the tile. “Did you hear about what happened in the conference room today?” one of the women whispered as she leaned over the sink, re-applying her lipstick. “Ahh… are we talking about our hot boss?” another asked with a smug tone. “More like his wife.” the woman responded. “Apparently, she wanted to drop off his lunch. I swear that woman just wants to keep that man to herself.” she said with the roll of her eyes, flicking the tap to wash her hands. “Are you jealous of Aya-chan?” the woman replied with a laugh. “I won’t deny that our boss is hot Miko. But why choose a nobody when you can have uravity?” she said, closing the tap. “Now that you mention it, Uravity is single and she seems to be a good person in the public’s eye. Our boss certainly deserves a woman of her title.” Miko said with a giggle. Clenching your jaw, you held back your sniffles, hurt by the words they exchanged with each other, not knowing you were there to hear them. You could feel your heart ache with each pulse and your hand shake with each breath, desperate to unlock the door and leave the suffocating stall. With a violent swing of the door, you faced yourself in the mirror, feeling pathetic at the sight of your puffy and bloodshot eyes staring back at you. ‘Maybe he does deserve better.’

You didn’t dare to step foot into Katsuki’s work space again.

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“It’s like I've run out of solutions for this marriage mom.” you said sobbing into the phone while playing with stray pieces of fuzz that came out of the blanket. “Have you tried talking to Katsuki?” asked her tender voice.

“Maybe we should consider counseling?” you said, tapping the wood of the dining table as the two of you sat for dinner. With the clattering of chopsticks against the lacquered surface, you watched from the corner of your eye as Katsuki clenched and unclenched his fist over the table. “(Y/N).” came his grave voice. Never had you thought your own name could be used against you as a warning before deciding to tread dangerous waters. “If it’s with us, we’ll handle it. I already have the agency and a PR on my ass about getting my “anger issues” under control. The last thing I fucking need is my wife crawling up my ass about how I’m supposed to be a good husband.” Katsuki said in a tone that left no room for discussion.

And as always, your only answer was “Okay.”

“Counseling is the last thing he needs right now mom. He gets enough of a burden from the agency as is along with the duty of being a good samaritan and hero. The thing of least concern should be me.” You said softly into the phone.

“It takes two to tango in a marriage (Y/N). You were the one who walked down the aisle that day. And waiting at the altar was Katsuki. You are one of his priorities and you should speak about it. There have been countless times where your father and I have had our arguments and fights. Brushing it under the carpet would do no good. Talking about it would help. I know Katsuki can be brash, but I know I saw something in him when you came home holding his hand. And if it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t even accept him as my son-in-law in the first place.”

You felt your chest heave with a hitched breath at the mention of “son-in-law”. Memories began to play like an old disc, rewinding back to the day you had taken Katsuki to your house for the first time. It was nerve racking to say the least, given the brash attitude he had which caused older adults to scrunch their nose in disgust, but you knew better than to judge from the surface.

“Are you nervous Katsuki?” you asked, as he maneuvered his car around the corner of your neighborhood. He said nothing, eyes trained on the house that was at the end of the street. Killing the engine as he pulled close, he rested his head against the wheel, back hunched over. Breaths hitting the leather of the steering wheel, you reached your hand behind his back, rubbing it in slow patterns. Nuzzling his forehead further into his hands which clutched the steering wheel tightly, he clenched his jaw with a heavy breath through his nose.

“Baby…” you cooed to him. With the turn of his head, you watched as his eyes were swimming in a sea of self doubt. With the couple of years you spent knowing Katsuki, you knew how to read him at the back of your hand. It was only when there was a potential obstacle in your relationship did he become like this.

“Talk to me.” you said softly, reaching a hand out to his that laid pale on the steering wheel from clenching too hard. With a sigh, he intertwined his hand in yours, letting it rest on his thigh.

“I’ve never done this before. ‘S my first time… Don’t wanna disappoint your parents with me.” he muttered, squeezing your hand lightly. Returning a squeeze back, you rubbed your thumb against the taut skin on the back of his palm.

“Katsuki.” you called out to him in the most gentle voice possible. With the turn of his head, he watched you, eyes shifting from the way your hair to your eyes to the bridge of your nose to the curve of your lips. “My parents will adore you. Sure, you have your rough edges, but… I know you. I’ve seen you work hard day and night, seen the way you’re passionate about doing what you do and keeping on that path you dreamt of as a kid… being you is not easy, Katsuki.”

His eyes widened at your words. Never would he have imagined you to be watching him so close and thinking of his dream as a kid to be a stupid one, taking a completely different path as an adult. Moving his head towards the steering wheel, he reached out his free hand to your face, bringing it close to his. Eyes darting towards your lips, he leaned in for a soft kiss. Unlike other times, where he was eager to show you how much he cared, you could feel how soft and tender it was. Pulling away, you kissed his upper lips before holding both sides of his face in determination. “Ready to go?” you asked with a wide smile. “Let’s fucking go.” he said with a grin just as bright.

“(Y/N)?” your mother’s voice came from the phone you held to your ear. Clearing your throat from the choke up you had from replaying the memory you answered. “I’m here.”

You heard a sigh before your mother continued to speak. “Have you tried talking to anyone about it?” your mother asked in an exasperated voice.

“Oh my god. That villain you caught last week was a rather notorious one. Isn’t that right Arata?” Momo said as she slid her arm around his, her free hand holding her drink. “Heard he broke into a bank last week and had the balls for even taking over thirty hostages too.” Arata replied in a monotone voice, guiding his hand towards Momo’s hip. “Dear! Such crude language!” she shrieked, giving a playful slap to the shoulder while he chuckled.

“Pinky! I heard you had taken down another villain this week who targeted a kindergarten?” one of the reporters asked Mina. “It is important to take care of the little ones who look up to us. The operation wasn’t an easy one as children are easy targets due to them being harmless, but luckily we pulled it through thanks to the cooperation of teachers as well as other heroes.” Mina said, turning towards the cameras that were a sea of flashing lights, eager to captivate the hero who was climbing up the ranks. “Red Riot! It’s good to have you back at the agency!” one of the stocky looking men said, extending his hand forward for the pro hero to shake. “Pleasure is all mine, sir.” Kirishima responded quietly, setting his glass of whiskey down to shake the said man’s hand. You could remember standing awkwardly at the table as pro heroes talked about the work they did. Hardly a conversation for a school teacher to have. While everyone talked about busted drug deals, cartels, lawsuits and cases, you realized that they were a part of a much bigger but different world. Yours seemed to be smaller which had your family, kids studying in school, parents who would attend your conferences to discuss their child’s progress. It was easy to adapt a conversation but it was never easy to maintain it. But yet you continued to understand incident after incident as Katsuki and you stood together, each with a drink in one hand, laughing when the moment was right and humming when someone would pause at their sentence.

“So… (Y/N) tell us what’s been going on with you?” Jirou said as she leaned over the bar table. Fidgeting with the glass in your hand, you spoke. “Nothing much really… been teaching the children at school about Romeo and Juliet.”

A round of awkward looks were exchanged. Eyebrows raised at the drink in each hand with a thought before taking a sip, not knowing how to respond or what to say. “Well… that was tragic.” Kaminari tried attempting to joke before being elbowed in the ribs by Kyoka who thought it was offensive. The pro hero world didn’t have time for Shakespeare. With an awkward smile you bit your inner cheek, making a silent rule that silence during parties like these was golden.

“(Y/N)?” Your mother asked once more, disturbing your train of thought. With a deep sigh through your nose, you gripped the phone tighter before answering.

“All my friends have their own families Mom. And most of Katsuki’s friends work in the same field as him. They went to UA together and most of them are pro heroes. It’s happened times before and it will happen times again where they can’t relate to what I’m talking about.”

“I’m sure there are people at school, colleagues that you work with?” your mother asked in surprise.

Moving to Tokyo had been a bad idea. It was away from Musutafu, and had a large and bustling crowd. Shizuoka had been quiet and peaceful whilst the new bulk of the Kanto region was a walking clock. Katsuki’s friends were a common sight to see in Tokyo as that was where the headquarters for pro hero agencies were. You hoped it would be the start of a new life, only to be proven wrong day after day. You tried seizing opportunities of meeting new neighbors, only to be ushered out just as quickly as you were done with greetings. Cubicles in your school office were just as quiet, given the fact that you were in a private one. Colleagues thought you were Dynamight’s trophy wife, hastening their footsteps along the hallway anytime they would run into you. The only person you could say you had a “girl time” with was Mina and that didn't happen often given that she was in the same line of work as Katsuki.

“I do talk to a friend from the agency sometimes…” you said, shifting your position deeper into the couch out of embarrassment.

“You don’t have any friends?” your mom asked in an accusatory manner. “It’s not like I don’t have any. When we moved from Musutafu, I left nearly everything behind including my social life!” you tried defending yourself on the phone.

“(Y/N). Look at the signs. You’ve not spoken to any of your friends, living in a completely new town, and not even found a person to have a social life with?” your mother reasoned.

“At least tell me that you go out… When was the last time you did?” Your mother asked in a grave voice. Your eyes wavered, thinking of an answer of when the last was that you went out.

“(Y/N)?” your mother taunted.

“... The hike with Katsuki.” you replied in a small voice.

“That was six months ago. So you haven’t gone out ever since you began packing your things, or moved there or when you were settled in.” your mother said.

“No.” came your reply.

“(Y/N). I know it’s difficult to abandon nearly everything and move to a new place. But… Why are you adapting to a routine Katsuki set for himself? You should go out, make mistakes, get lost someplace and find it beautiful. It won’t be long till you miss all that and actually need to take care of a child of your own, right?” your mother explained in the softest voice she could, trying not to scare you.

You could feel tears threatening to fall from the corner of your eye as reality dawned upon you. As time passed by, you hadn’t realized that you had lost pieces of yourself, all for the sake of making the man you love happy and content. Each day slowly chipping away what you were previously, leaving you with an empty shell of a woman who was too dependent on your husband. Was this one of the reasons why you thought Katsuki and you got along so well? Was there an individuality to you or were you just lost in the obsession of being your best for him and not for yourself? You began to shake as you wondered, ‘How long have I been living like this’, ‘Why didn’t I notice it earlier’. You felt air leave your lungs, your mind dragging you under water where waves swept you from beneath your feet, causing you to spiral into their deepest depths.

“(Y/N), I need you to breathe for me honey.” Your mother said calmly. “In a sequence now. Breathe in” you heard her inhale. “One, two, three, four… and breathe out.” she said, exhaling with a heavy breath. Sniffling you began to do what she did, inhaling and exhaling until you felt your heart return back to normal the feeling of waves receding into the ocean.

“Alright there we go. You’re doing great!” you other cheered as you gave her a watery laugh through the phone. “Before I go, remember, both Katsuki and you are in this matrimony together. Both of you share the same burden and responsibility both for your actions and for or against one another.” Your mother said in a soft tone. Rubbing the remaining of the tear tracks away from your eyes, you replied in a shaky voice. “Thanks Mom.”

“Don’t worry dear. Everything will be fine. It all works out towards the end… I have to go now, but I’ll call you soon okay?Love you.” she said with a hint of a smile in her voice. “Love you too.” you said before you heard the phone line go dead, ending the call.

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With a drop of his keys and a bang of the door behind with his foot, Dynamight had retired for the day from the agency. Walking across the room, he opened the fridge to grab a can of beer before promptly sitting down on the couch and turning on the television. Hearing the commotion, you made your way out of your shared room, luminated by the moonlight.

“Welcome home…” you muttered in a low voice. With a grunt, he moved to kick his feet up and place them on the coffee table.

“Um… Katsuki?” you called out, fingers digging into the soft fabric of the edge of the couch, far from the corner he sat in. He hummed in response, one hand busy switching channels of the television in front of him.

“Can we talk?” you asked in a timid voice. “Go ahead… I’m listening.” he responded, taking a sip from the can, the noise from the lit screen filling up the room. “Uh… could you turn the volume of the tv down? This is important.” you replied. Not bothering to respond as his eyes trailed from left right, reading the headlines, you sighed, moving around the couch. Shaking him by the shoulder, you spoke once more. “Please Katsuki, this is really important.”

“I said I was listening wasn’t I? God,it’s like I can’t catch a fucking break when I come home to you.” he said in a grave voice, pressing the mute button. “What?” your voice cracked as you spoke, feeling a pang in your chest at every venomous word he said. “Why can’t you understand that I’ve had a fucking long day and all I need is some good peace and quiet? Do you have to run your mouth every fucking time about something? If not about dropping shit on the floor, it’s about taking a vacation. When are you gonna learn that not everything is about you?!” Katsuki yelled. You could feel tears pooling at the waterline of your eyes; not from the feeling of sadness or grief or emptiness, but of rage and humiliation. With a shaky breath, you said, “I want us to go to counseling.”

“This again? I already said no.” Katsuki said firmly. Biting your tongue in defiance, you parted your lips. “Why not?” you asked as you felt tears streaming down your cheeks. “I am not going for a check on our marriage. It’s been going great so far and I don’t need shit to hit the fan for both of us with this.” Katsuki reasoned, waving his back and forth between you and him.

“You think this marriage is fine Katsuki?” you asked bringing your wrist to wipe away at the tears collected on your cheeks and under your chin. Acknowledging your question with a glare, he turned away from you. “I don’t have time for shit like this.” he said arrogantly, crushing the can in his palm. “When do you even have time for anything anymore? It’s always about work, work, work. Do you know how much I sacrificed for you?!” you yelled. “You don’t even fucking care about anything. Do you ask me how my day was? Do you ask me if I’m eating well or sleeping well? Do you even bother to remember me by when we live in the same fucking house?!” you continued, walking towards him. “Day after day after day” you said, jabbing a pointed finger towards his chest, “I have done nothing but take care of your best interests. Not only have you humiliated me as a person, you don’t even acknowledge me as an equal. If I can respect you as a wife, why won’t you recognize my wishes and effort as a husband, Katsuki?!” you said, fury threatening to bubble to the surface.

“Every fucking time I do something for you, all you do is whine and complain about it. Fuck, I don’t even know what is wrong with me and you’re not even there to talk to about it. Is that what this marriage is?!” you cried as you shoved him back. “Tell me.” you shoved him. “Tell me.” you shoved him thrice. “JUST FUCKING TELL ME ALREADY, KATSUKI !!!” you yelled at the top of your voice, causing him to take several steps back. With nothing to say back, you felt your shoulder heave up and down from the intensity. Your ears felt like they were on fire. You watched as Katsuki stood still, breathing hard from the hits that you gave him.

“That’s what I thought.” you muttered, before going to your bedroom and packing a duffel bag. Grabbing essentials, you changed into casual clothes, grabbing your purse from the hook. With heavy footsteps across the floor, you opened the door, letting moonlight flood into the living room.

“Where are you going?” Katsuki asked from the corner of the room. He hadn’t moved from the spot of the argument followed by the outburst. “Just taking a couple of days off… maybe more.” you said, lifting a foot to step out of the door. “It’s one in the morning (Y/N). Just get the fuck back in.” Katsuki said with the wave of his arm. “I can’t go on without answers Katsuki. It’s alright for one of us to not be okay with the other once in a while… but it’s to a point where we haven’t talked to each other about it and fixed it along with moving forward. But now? It’s in a state where you’re doing fine and I’m taking the collateral damage. I haven’t asked you the reason for it as my trust and love for you gets the better of me, but how long can I take it till I break?” you said with a sad smile.

“Just please (Y/N). Let’s go back to bed and we’ll discuss this in the morning.” Katsuki tired once more, daring to step closer to you. Dropping your bag to the floor, you almost gave in.

Almost.

But your mind wouldn’t let you, choosing to let you relive those memories where he would shout, yell, scream and ignore you. Hugging his torso, you pulled him close. “I’m at my limit Katsuki and I know you. Steel to the bone and you won’t change. Please, just let me have my way. For once. I want to salvage this marriage as much as you do, but I lost myself in it. And I need that part of me back or this won’t last very long.” you said in a low voice. Katsuki could hear his shaky breath, knowing that heart of hearts, he was breaking. Circling his arms around you, he hugged you back.

“You promise to be back?” he asked in a hopeful voice with glassy eyes, caressing the skin of your cheek.

“Don’t know how long, but distance would make the heart grow fonder of you.” you chuckled, letting a few tears slip.

“Alright. Do you want me to drop you?” Katsuki asked, grabbing the keys. Placing a gentle palm over his strong forearm, you pushed it down with a silent no.

“It’s best if I do it alone.” you said, grabbing the keys from the bowl instead. Kissing him goodbye on the cheek, you walked out the door, not daring to look back, knowing that you would stay.

Revving up the engine of the car, you pulled out from the driveway, while Katsuki watched you silently from the window, hiding his figure silently behind the curtain. Driving along the dark roads of the city that never slept, you thought about just how far you were willing to break yourself for the man you love.

Enough to still love him through each crack.

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RAD Panic

Part of my Under the Surface series of oneshots that feature an MC with mental health struggles.

*Trigger warning: describes a panic attack and unhealthy coping mechanisms and behaviors. Please seek help if you are struggling with anxiety.*

I knew what was coming this morning when that jittery feeling began sinking into my chest, making my heart beat a little too quickly and my breathing try to speed up. I felt fidgety and restless.

That was this morning. It had let up for a few hours, but now, five minutes into this class, it’s back with a vengeance. Ugh, it’s going to be one of the really bad ones. The feeling of painful anxiety just keeps building, the pressure on my heart and lungs increasing. I struggle to focus enough to take notes, feeling myself space out for a second or two before snapping back into focus. I swear I’m zoned out more than in at this point.

I regulate my breathing, forcing myself to take long, easy breaths. It doesn’t help much, and I fidget again, looking at the clock. I can make it another half hour, right? It’s just thirty minutes.

Twenty-nine.

Twenty-eight.

Twenty-eight and…I'm not going to make it.

No, wrong attitude. I just need to be okay for another…twenty-seven minutes. I fidget in my seat again, digging my nails painfully into my palms in a foolish attempt to distract myself from the growing pain in my chest.

I breathe deeply and try to focus on taking notes and on what the professor says, but an increasingly large amount of my brain is hyper aware of my building anxiety, the need to get away, to escape, and the imminent collapse I know is coming.

Satan gives me a questioning look from where he sits beside me. I give him a smile, trying to reassure him. Is it convincing? I have no idea. I hope so.

Ugh, why can’t I just make it go away? I hate these stupid anxiety episodes.

As the last few minutes of class approach it takes great effort not to pack up early, not to squirm in my seat. I just breathe and hope I can hold it together for the last few minutes. I’m so close now.

The deep chime of the bell announces the end of that class and I throw my stuff into my bag in an uncharacteristically haphazard scramble. I barely get myself to check and make sure I’m not leaving anything behind before I hurry for the door, not bothering to wait for anyone or talk like I normally might. Trying to get away before anyone tries to talk or socialize with me. Or ask me any questions I won’t be able to answer honestly.

I just need to get somewhere private asap. Then I can let the suppressed panic attack run loose and maybe get it over with.

The pain in my chest makes it feel like forever before I find a place where there aren’t any prying eyes–a small classroom off the beaten path. I wonder vaguely if it is risky going somewhere so isolated by myself–after all, it is a school full of demons.

Unfortunately, I just don’t have the mental fortitude or energy to care about that at the moment. I shut the door behind me and move along the wall away from the glass window on the door before sitting on the ground, hugging my knees to my chest and using the wall as a backrest.

Now out of sight of anyone else, I allow the panic attack to run its course. My entire body shakes and I whimper in pain, nails digging into my arms. I feel tears gather in my eyes at the isolation, being completely alone with no one to help, no one to talk to, no support system. I feel overwhelmingly afraid and lonely and it claws at my chest like an enraged bear.

I sob loudly before taking deep breaths to try to quiet myself. I was still at RAD. I didn’t want to draw attention to my condition here. Or have someone notice my presence here. I steady my breathing until I’m pretty sure I can’t be heard outside. I let myself shake and shudder, quiet sobs hurting my throat and tears streaming down my face.

I freeze at the sound of the doorknob turning. I bite my lip, frozen, holding my breath, then quickly cleaning the tears from my face, just in case. Crap. Who’s here? Holding completely still–an impressive feat for my adrenaline-overloaded body–I turn just my eyes toward the door.

“MC?” Simeon’s gentle voice asks. He stands in the doorway, teal eyes searching the room. I try to hold completely still but a slight tremor sneaks through. Turns out I can’t fully stop the shaking again.

His eyes land on me and I stand, laughing awkwardly. I don’t have any believable reason for hiding in an empty classroom in a remote part of campus, but it doesn’t mean I can’t try to brush this off.

I hate that I’ve been found, and by one of the angels, no less. He is probably more likely to pick up on my “super not okay” vibes. Ugh, what would an angel think of me, hiding in a room to cry? Probably think that humans are as weak and pathetic as they’d been taught, in need of angels for everything. I wish I could just go back to hiding and crying. But there is a person here now. I have to deal with this situation first.

“Hi, Simeon,” I say, carefully keeping my tone light and as close to normal as I can manage. And I can manage very well. I smile, allowing my hair to fall close to my face, hoping that somehow he’d miss that I’ve been crying. I didn’t turn my face completely to him for the same reason. “I was just taking a break. Did you need something?”

He frowns at me, walking toward me. I cringe inwardly, fear of being discovered as weak and pathetic freezing my insides solid. It frustrates me. It isn’t my fault my brain presses the panic button like it’s a fun game on the playground.

But that isn’t the point right now.

“MC, are you okay? It seemed like something was bothering you during class. Satan and I were both worried, but then you rushed out before either of us could ask you about it,” Simeon asks.

Ugh. Crap. I was afraid of that when I left so abruptly. Well, I supposed I was afraid whether I liked it or not at the time, but still. I’d have made a better show of being okay, but I hadn’t been able to take it. “Oh, I’m just feeling a bit under the weather. I’m okay, though,” I say with a bright smile.

Okay. As in not actively dying. That counts as okay, right? I fold my arms, which I can feel shaking slightly, digging my fingernails into the soft flesh as I attempt to hold myself together enough to get through this social interaction. To get Simeon to leave so I can have my breakdown and move on with life.

He stops when he's about a foot away. “You don’t seem like you’re okay. If you’re having a hard time, you can talk to me about it. I promise I just want to help,” he says gently. That soothing, caring tone is almost enough to rip the mask right off and send me sobbing again. I feel the tears rising at the prospect of someone being there to help and comfort me.

My control is beginning to slip. I hold on to my composure desperately even as a silent sob shakes my body and my eyes fill until the room is an incoherent blur. A high-pitched whine escapes my tight throat without my consent.

“Oh, MC,” Simeon says gently. He reaches out toward me slowly. I flinch away for a second, still unsure, and he stops. “Would a hug help?” His tone is so sweet, so kind. I feel my face scrunch up and swallow another whimper as I nod.

His arms close around me, warm and strong. I grab him in a hug tight enough I might have had to worry about breaking ribs if he’d been a human instead of a super-powerful angel. I can’t help myself. It’s like I was drowning and now that someone’s thrown me a lifeline I couldn’t let go even if I wanted to. I bury my face in his chest and sob the pain and overwhelming terror away, shaking uncontrollably. He just holds me back, steady and warm and real.

The warmth of another person helps stem the tide of hopelessness and fear and loneliness. He gently rubs a hand up and down my back, murmuring soothing words, the tone of which is much more important than the actual things being said. He’s so warm-hearted I can physically feel it, his mere presence comforting me. I could stay there forever without any qualms.

I hear the door open again and bury myself lower in Simeon’s chest, hoping whoever it is won’t notice me. Simeon pets my hair comfortingly as he turns his head to look at the newcomer.

“You found MC?” Satan’s voice says. I bite my lip, burying my face in Simeon’s chest, not sure what to do. The dregs of the panic attack are fading, but I know I’m a hot mess right now. I’m not sure I want anyone else to see me this way. It would be hard enough to explain to one person, let alone two.

“Yes.” Simeon’s voice is gentle and soft, the tone a person might use around a frightened or injured animal. He strokes my hair comfortingly, a pleasant sensation that is easy to focus on.

“What happened? What’s wrong?” Satan’s normally composed voice sounds a bit worried, distressed even. Maybe even a smidge desperate. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard those emotions in his voice before. I feel myself soften toward him, some of my anxiety about him being here fading.

I hear him walking closer and try to take a breath in to say something, but a shuddering sob leftover from all the tears steals it away. I carefully take a few breaths until I’m more confident in my ability to speak.

“MC?” Satan sounds alarmed. I stiffen, worried as my brain tries to come up with a way to explain myself.

Simeon’s hand rubs my back comfortingly. “It’s okay, MC. You’re safe.”

“I, um, I’m fine,” I begin, pulling back from Simeon. Both men frown at me, clearly knowing that isn’t the case. Ugh. My explanation is off to a great start. “It was just a panic attack. I have them sometimes.” I say it lightly, casually, like they aren’t anything to worry about. Not a big deal.

Simeon pulls me back into his chest, holding me tightly, making me squeak in surprise.

“Why didn’t you say anything? I could have helped you, you know. I’ve said so many times that you can come to me for anything.” Satan says, and I feel a hand rest on my shoulder, warm and steady.

“It must be really hard dealing with them, especially by yourself,” Simeon says. A sob shakes my body at the gentle kindness in both their voices, at the sheer relief of not being alone, the desire for their help, at their warmth and care.

“It is,” I admit, so softly I’m not even sure if they can hear me. Simeon rests his head atop mine, and I feel Satan wrap his arms around me from behind, burying his head in my shoulder. They both hold me tightly and some abstract part of my brain is surprised there’s no arguing about who does and doesn’t get to hug me. I’m grateful for that because I don’t think I could handle it at the moment. Perhaps they sense that, too.

“You’re even braver than I thought, and I already thought you were insanely brave,” Satan whispers in my ear. With that the recently patched dam on my still very tender and sensitive emotions breaks and I started crying all over again, incredibly grateful for both of these wonderful people who care about me so much.

Eventually I turn in their arms so I can give Satan a proper hug, Simeon pulling away slightly but still gently stroking my back to remind me that he’s there for me.

Eventually my tears ease and I pull back from them. I'm embarrassed to see the wet spots I left on both their clothing. “S-sorry about the tear stains,” I say nervously, blushing slightly.

Satan reaches out and wipes the last of my tears away with a thumb. “Don’t worry about that. Clothes can be washed.”

“Yes. You’re a lot more important than clothes,” Simeon adds.

“Thank you,” I say, voice still very soft and delicate.

Satan suddenly pulls me right back into a hug. “Anytime you’re feeling unwell, just let me know. I don’t want you going through this alone. Or going to someone else with it. Come to me.”

I feel a slight chuckle work its way through my body at those words. There it is. But it’s sweet, and it helps me feel like I wouldn’t be such a burden to him if I did come to him when I was struggling.

“You can also come to me if you’re having a hard time. I’m more than happy to help. And I hate the idea of you dealing with this by yourself. I hope you’ll tell me if you are struggling and if there’s anything I can do to help,” Simeon says, a hand resting on my back.

Before they can argue I pull back, grabbing one of their hands in each of mine. “Thank you both. You’re the best.” I turn my gaze between them so they know I’m sincere. And that is when the last of the adrenaline fades and overwhelming exhaustion fills me. I sway slightly, blinking, having trouble staying awake despite the fact that I’m standing.

I feel both of them take one of my arms. “MC? Are you okay?” Satan asks, worry creasing his brow.

“I-yes, just really tired. It happens after a bad panic attack. I need to sleep.” I blink a couple times to myself. “Wait, the next class, I was going to just go in late…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Satan tells me firmly. “We just need to worry about getting you where you can rest and recover.”

“I’ll let Lucifer know you’re feeling sick so you won’t be able to go to the rest of today's classes,” Simeon says.

“But you both need to be there,” I start again.

“Don’t worry about it, we can get the notes later,” Satan insists.

“I, um,” I begin, but Satan and Simeon start pulling me along before I can protest any further.

“I already said don’t worry about it,” Satan insists. “Just let me–us–take care of you.”

I can tell he doesn’t want to include Simeon, but does for my sake. They take me to the infirmary to get a little sleep. I let them, too tired and relieved to be past the panic attack to feel a need to take charge of the situation. I trust the two of them to take care of me.

I fall asleep in an infirmary bed with Satan sitting behind me with a hand gently rubbing up and down my arm and Simeon sitting in front of me, gently stroking my hair.

I wake up vaguely to Lucifer’s voice, stirring slightly and taking a moment before I’m oriented enough to know what direction the voice is coming from. He and Simeon are talking in careful, quiet tones. I frown, hoping that Simeon won’t tell him what happened.

Lucifer catches my bleary gaze. “Next time you aren’t feeling well, just let me know and go rest, don’t try to push yourself too hard. Lord Diavolo wants the exchange students to stay happy and healthy.” I see the worried crease between his eyebrows, telling me he is a lot more concerned than he’s letting on. That his words are about more than Diavolo and his exchange program.

I smile slightly at him and give a barely-coherent, “Mhm,” before exhaustion weighs my eyelids back closed and I’m asleep once more.

Later, when I’m ever so slightly more awake, Satan and Simeon help me home. Satan makes me dinner, Simeon makes me tea, and then I go back to sleep. The next day I wake up feeling relaxed and happy in a way I haven’t for a long, long time.

~End~

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this and found it comforting! If you suffer from anxiety attacks, I hope you are getting the help you need both from a doctor and a therapist, it makes a huge difference in recovery.

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my favorite genre of men.

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Omg I love this man 😩

LUCIFER ABC

♡ note | trying something different with lucifer characterization here. let me know if you like it or …. prefer my old lucifer back jajajjaja also a bit long but im so happy with how it turned out

♡ content | 50/50 that means dom lucifer and sub lucifer dynamics, one mention of femdom (see kinks) exhibitionism, impact play, roleplaying, master mention, begging, unfairness, body worshipping, dry humping, thigh riding, vouyerism, oral (male and afab receiver) afab reader, mentions of breeding, re popping lucifer cherry, piss mention, that’s all I think

♡ consider reblogging if you liked ♡

♡ edited post please consider reblogging if you liked, tumblr been acting weird and flagging my post ♡

Seguir leyendo

Okay so final thoughts after this disaster:

- They should abolish the jury entirely. They clearly have no idea what they're doing or what the public actually wants.

- Bring the random running order back. Acts should get to pick their numbers again instead of just first and second half to avoid the clear bias the EBU has towards the Nordic countries, and Sweden in particular. Loreen placed second in her semi final with less points than Teya & Salena did in theirs and they got fucked over with the 1st position while Loreen got the 9th position. If she's so good, she should have been able to win from the first or second spot. Stop the fucking bias.

Reblog to give the person you reblogged it from motivation to work on their fics.