Top Tier BMC Analysis

Top tier BMC analysis

Christine Canigula was socially ostracized & developed a complex to protect herself: an essay

(suddenly i NEED to infodump about Christine actually so here)

Something I only noticed on rewatch: the way Christine will say something silly and then just kind of gingerly wait to see if Jeremy reacts well to it before continuing, almost like she's asking permission?? (e.g. the gap after the first stanza of "Play Rehearsal"). And it's only after he riffs off her bowling alley bit that she feels comfortable talking about her personal feelings with him (right before "Guy that I'd Kinda be Into"). The same happens with their "weird noise" exchange immediately before "It's pretty killer to sit and chat with you." I know theater relies on being succinct, and that 'bonding over shared quirks' and 'feelings talk' are both just crucial parts of relationship development... but I don't think it's a coincidence that it always goes in that order!

It's like Jeremy has to pass these *trials of weirdness* before she feels safe opening up to him and it drives me BONKERS so I wrote a whole 1000 word thing about it under the cut and this got too massive and I'm sorry. Also some autistic Jeremy meta at the end if that sweetens the pot hehehe

Table of contents:

Why she was ostracized

How she was ostracized

How that might inform her pattern of relationship development with Jeremy and Jake

How gender caused Jeremy's experiences to differ from hers, and how that affects their current relationships with "popularity" and peer acceptance.

1. Why she was ostracized

I am just so certain that Christine has been bullied or at least majorly outcast for a lot of her life. She's very obviously neurodivergent and because of that she can have these obnoxiously deep and repetitive interests, she can't judge if a piece of information will be genuinely interesting to someone, and she doesn't take social cues very well.

She frequently interrupts people when they're talking (an ADHD symptom btw), even when they're literally talking to her about the thing she wants to hear!

(C: "Do you find that? Because I totally find that!" J: "Uh, yeah, I-" C: "-And no matter how hard I try....")

(J: "I know the last thing I deserve is another shot, but-" C:"Jeremy, just... say what's on your mind.") (girl I'm sorry but that's what he was doing..... I have a whole other thoughtpiece on how this particularly fucks with Jeremy while they're dating but thats another thing...)

She doesn't seem confident in her interpretations of people's emotions and she'll ask/talk about them point blank (both theirs and her own) in a way a lot of people would find rude

("Uh, you seem really nervous...") ("Popular people are fucked up! *mutual laughter* …I mean, you're one of them!") ("I am flattered, this is new / still I'm not sure what I should do" <- as a response to getting asked out, that's pretty bold! Plus the entire part where she laughs at Jake's "rich boy routine") (also compare and contrast to Jeremy's "I don't know what I'm supposed to say right now." idk. are your allistic stage dorks in the room with us right now motherfuckers)

I'd go on about her hyperfixations/special interests too but I think Play Rehearsal pretty much sums it up lol

2. How she was ostracized

All this to say that I am CERTAIN she spent a lot of her schooling having "nice girls" patiently let her sit with them at lunch for weeks at a time until they finally get sick of her rambling and faux pas. Only when they leave does Christine realize that they didn't actually care about anything she said... And this happens over and over and over. (I know this seems hella specific but I swear it's an actual phenomenon... at least I'm pretty sure? sdjflksjf)

But anyway, it's clear that by the time they're juniors, Christine has kind of (and I do only mean kind of) figured out what behaviour other people respond poorly to. And from evidence I stated in the intro, I think she's become really careful about which people she lets herself get attached to. She doesn't want this to ever happen again - which means if she's going to hang out with someone, she has to know that they actually care about her, that they know she will sometimes be obnoxious or blunt, and they'll still be okay with that forever.

3. Applying this to her canon relationships

You can extend this to Jake, someone who sees her in her element in drama rehearsal (the thing everyone finds annoying about her because she won't shut up about it) and STILL likes her. I think it's a totally valid reading that her bluntness with him later ("Upgrade") is just because she misreads him / doesn't quite get the social standard that she should be white lying instead. But I think you could also read her as testing the waters. If she's really going to commit to dating this guy, she's gotta know he's okay with her being herself. And the fact that this guy (and I think it's significant that he is a boy, for reasons I'll explain in the end note) genuinely seems to like her is a whole new level of peer validation ("I am flattered, this is new") -- so of course she's gonna fall at least a little! It doesn't hurt that he's "tired of being the person that everyone thinks that I am..." just like her!

Her history with being pity-liked makes Chloe's "advice," that Jake's just toying with her and is going to move on soon, even scarier, because that's genuinely happened to her (on a platonic level) so many times before.

Jeremy is also a good candidate from the beginning because he's weird he's a weirdo he doesn't fit in and he doesn't wanna fit in you ever see him without this stupid cardigan on? that's weird! And she keeps warming up to him not only because they're getting to know each other but because he gets progressively more willing to not only tolerate (as Jake does) but *participate* in her weirdness!

First, she does something weird and he tolerates it ("Play Rehearsal"); the next time she's weird, he participates! (bowling ball before GTIKBI). Then finally finally finally he initiates the weirdness and lets her join in! ("weird noises" exchange before GTIKBI reprise).

And notably, it is THIS moment that canonically signifies that they've hit the apex of their canon relationship development. If there was an achievement called "Befriend Christine," it would have popped up right then and there!!!

IN CONCLUSION: YOUR HONOR I LOVE THEM T_T

4: Christine vs. Jeremy: Gender differences & how that ultimately impacts their social goals

I also think all of this would have happened to Jeremy too if he'd been a girl. But because, generally, young boys feel less social obligation than girls to take pity on the autistic kid (and because boys tend to be more quickly recognized as autistic) he just ends up completely alone for most of his school life (Michael nonwithstanding - and yeah there's an important distinction between your childhood friend putting up with you and knowing that, woah, I guess literally nobody else ever will).

Meanwhile, Christine has had people "put up" with her, and she's SICK OF IT!

That's part of why their complexes are so different, because Christine is trying to check everyone she meets to make sure they'll be okay with her weirdness before she gets attached, Jeremy is trying to eliminate his weirdness altogether because he's never even experienced his peers listening out of *pity* so how the hell can he expect someone to ever listen to him out of *interest?*

Jeremy has never had someone pretend to like him before, so he completely lacks Christine's fear of befriending someone who secretly hates you. He doesn't realize how bad it'll hurt him if he destroys his real self for popularity, if he befriends people who would have bullied his real self. He doesn't know what disingenuous friendship feels like, so like a very young Christine he's still actively trying to get there because he thinks it's the only kind of validation he'll ever get.

Do you see what im saying? Do you see it???? AUAUGUGUUGGH

Christine Canigula Was Socially Ostracized & Developed A Complex To Protect Herself: An Essay

THANK YOU FOR READING!!! If you have thoughts or even rebuttals please share i am so desperate to discuss the blorbos

More Posts from Kittysparklezzz and Others

2 weeks ago

Sweet little boyf riends kisses?

here I made it as cavity inducing as I possibly could

Sweet Little Boyf Riends Kisses?
1 month ago

michael mell is a reddit fanboy. he posts theories about his fandoms. he’s subscribed to r/ApocalypseOfTheDamned and r/WorldofWarcraft. he is the kind of person to make speedrun videos and walkthroughs and make compilations of “the weapons in aotd ii ranked on how likely they are to be used by a toddler” type shit. 

jeremy heere, on the other hand, is a tumblr fanboy. sure, he posts about theories, but he’s a hopeless romantic. you look at that boy and tell me he doesn’t post shitty fanart and bad fanfic. he plays apocalypse and writes silly little stories about the characters kissing and also dying horrible deaths. 

if anyone’s wondering, christine’s also a tumblr girlie. she keeps tabs on jeremy’s account. she finds it endearing and always leaves kudos on his fics as a guest. (she also is a pinterest fangirl. if u even care.)


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4 months ago

Very cute and also sugar is the solution to all problems :)

for the short stories thing, 1 or 6 w meremine ?

1. Things you said at 1 AM

2. Things you said under the sky and in the grass

In the days leading up to graduation, Michael avoids Christine. He’s never been great at identifying his own emotions, but he’s in the midst of one, and it’s a bitch. It’s like, when Christine is away, he wants her there, but when she’s there, he’ll start thinking how wonderful she is, and then his throat will tighten, and a pain will start behind his eyes. It sucks ass.

“You think it’s because she’s going to a different college than us?” Jeremy asks one night. He’s sleeping over at Michael’s house, and they’re in the middle of one of those late night heart to hearts, where Michael is high enough to tell Jeremy worrying secrets, like how the the presence of Christine suddenly makes him physically ill.

“I support her in that,” Michael insists. “NYU is her dream. I’m not an asshole.”

“I’m not saying you are. I’m just saying you’re probably freaking out ‘cause you’re going to miss her. Like, how many friends have you had the experience of missing?”

You Michael doesn’t say. Jeremy knows that the Squip incident was hard for Michael, and there’s no need to dredge that up. It’s true that Jeremy was the only friend Michael ever had prior to that, and he doesn’t have a lot of experience with saying goodbye to people he cares about. One good thing about Jeremy abandoning Michael was that since Michael could’ve never anticipated that happening, he hadn’t had time to dread it before it started.

(At least he hadn’t had time to really dread it. There had maybe been this fear of in the back of his mind that Jeremy could leave him someday, but it’d been easy to shake off as unrealistic, like the fear of his airplane crashing when he visited his grandma in the Philippines)

Even so…

“I’m morally opposed to making a big deal of her leaving,” Michael says. “I’m not that big of a dick.”

“Yeah, but you’ve got to admit that it’s getting to you,” Jeremy says, like he’s wise, which he isn’t. “I know what you’re like. You’ll act like nothing’s happening, then all of a sudden it’ll be too much, and you’ll have a breakdown or something.”

Michael rolls his eyes. Jeremy is the last person to get to lecture others about breakdowns.

“You should find a way to tell her,” Jeremy continues. “Y’know, about how you want her to be happy, but you also want her to stay in touch. She’s a big part of our lives!”

“That’s like saying she has to keep in touch.”

“It’s like keeping the door open. Or you could just keep ignoring her. Your choice.”

Michael doesn’t answer. He thinks of how Jeremy used to make weird noises and run off whenever Christine looked in his direction. He thinks of how scared Jeremy was to start things. Michael’s not like that. He didn’t start things because he wasn’t interested, and he’s not interested in ending them either. He’s hella excited to start college, but the little triumvirate he, Christine, and Jeremy have formed complicates things. Michael is bad at navigating relationships at the best of times. How is he supposed to make sense of one that’s rapidly changing?

———-

Middleborough High hosts something called Project Graduation for the graduating seniors. After they receive their degrees (and pose for a million pictures with friends and relatives), they’re all loaded into a bus for a night of Good Clean Fun™. It’s the school’s way of making sure they don’t celebrate the end of their high school career by getting hammered and causing trouble. It’s the opposite of cool, but everybody goes, ‘cause it’ll be their last night together.

The school rents out the Palace Playland theme park for the entire night, ending at five AM, and sets them loose to ride all the rides, play all the games, and eat all the junky carnival food. Until a while past midnight, that’s what Michael does, always accompanied by Jeremy and Christine, but also by the other members of the Squip Squad. It’s fun, and it’s weird. It’s like after a year and a half of being in the same friend group as Chloe Valentine and yet incredibly unsure of her, she’s screaming in the seat in front of Michael on Splash Mountain and in that moment he loves her a little. It’s like he can watch Rich losing at one of those ring toss games, and for the first time ever, he can’t even find a trace of the kid who used to bully him. Michael’s friends are his friends, and he’s so lucky to have had them.

Much as Michael likes the amusement park ambiance, there’s only so much he can take in one go. That’s a thing with him. Voices are loud. Lights are bright. Things that are the funnest ever for four hours can get grating after five, and near unbearable after six.

Jeremy knows.

So does Christine.

“Let’s take a walk,” Christine suggests, so the three of them do. They weave their way through the rides and the food and the games, Christine’s hand in Michael’s, and Jeremy holding on to his shoulder. They find a grassy area a little behind the kiddy rides, which is mostly uninhabited, since high schoolers generally aren’t in the market for the teacups and choo choo trains when there are rollercoasters to conquered.

They sit down.

For a long time they don’t say anything. Michael leans back against a tree, and watches the ferris wheel lights from this new, safe distance. Jeremy leans back into Michael’s lap, and Christine leans back into Jeremy’s, and Michael revels in how good it can feel to be buried, at least when it means being buried by the best people he knows.

His favorite people.

And just like that, the thing starts with Michael’s throat, and then he has to take off his glasses and rub his eyes, ‘cause they’re getting into the act too.

Maybe Jeremy’s right. Maybe Michael should analyze what’s going on, and tell Christine before it’s too late. Maybe he should be all like ’yo, Christine, no big deal but I’m terrified that you won’t be a part of my life anymore after tonight, and terrified of how much it’s gonna hurt to lose you’.

Christine beats him to the punch.

“You two know I love you, right?” she says.

“We love you back,” says Jeremy. He elbows Michael, who can only nod.

“I’ll miss you so much,” she continues.

“Can we…” Michael swallows. He thinks he knows what he wants to say. It’s not even all that melodramatic or sappy! It’s just hard.

“Can we…?” Christine repeats.

Michael has to clear his throat. “I think I want a plan. For how we’re gonna keep in touch. Like a day. Jeremy and me are gonna room together, but you’re going to be in New York, and we should decide what day we’re gonna Skype, and whether or not we’re going to meet up over winter break, or if we’re never going to meet up again, because if this is it I need some time to get used to it.”

Christine turns to face Michael, frowning as though she’s a little perplexed. “Of course we’re going to meet up again.”

Where? Michael doesn’t say. When he doesn’t say either. He tries to smile. He’s not proud of the way the corners of his mouth keep turning downward of their own accord, no matter how hard he tries to make them behave.

Christine turns away. “We’ll Skype on Tuesdays,” she says. She wipes her eyes. “We’ll meet up the first day of winter break that we’re all back. And if you guys cry, I’m going to cry too.”

“I wouldn’t dream of crying,” says Michael, more than a little tearfully.

“We’re not going to cry,” Christine agrees. “You know why?”

“Why?” asks Michael.

“Because I’ve got cotton candy in my purse, and we’re going to eat that instead.”

Jeremy snorts out a surprised laugh, and Michael laughs, and Christine pulls the cotton candy out of her bag, brandishing it like it’s a flag. They don’t say anything more about the changes to come, but at least they’re together for now.

1 month ago

Omg they're adorable, love love love love love!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

@tobyflollops Here’s Your Request Drawing! I Hope I Didn’t Get The Flag Colors Wrong.👉👈

@tobyflollops Here’s your request drawing! I hope I didn’t get the flag colors wrong.👉👈

4 months ago

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

This Is Quite Possibly The Softest Picture In Existence

this is quite possibly the softest picture in existence


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4 months ago

Omg the dedication I couldn't 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

I Don’t Wanna Be Special, No No, I Just Wanna Survive

I don’t wanna be special, no no, I just wanna survive

would you believe me if I said this drawing took over a year to finish

I Don’t Wanna Be Special, No No, I Just Wanna Survive
I Don’t Wanna Be Special, No No, I Just Wanna Survive
I Don’t Wanna Be Special, No No, I Just Wanna Survive

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1 month ago

Yo Tumblr, it's Kitty!

I don't really have anything interesting to say, I just wanted to play off the intro to George Salazar's YouTube vlogs from the Be More Chill era. I dunno. Did I mention I like George Salazar? I'm not sure I did, lol :) /j

Er, here are some videos I have enjoyed lately:

Man or Muppet, as performed by Will Roland and Gerard Canonico

https://youtu.be/wqMKiUUuxpw?si=2hBPbOya3n3IAVXc

and as performed by George Salazar and Brian Gonzales

https://youtu.be/Wfw1NcnaRyc?si=gc8fQOmaNYBaJxeq

Apparently Brian Gonzales has been in musicals such as Spelling Bee, Shrek and Aladdin. Very kewl :)

I don't personally identify as either a man or a muppet but if I had to pick one I think I would be a muppet :)

Aight, hope y'all are doing fabulously, peace and love

I don't know what to tag this as, so if you see this lucky you I guess lol :)


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1 month ago

little stagedorks doodle

I've been listening to Phantom again and like he would. He would

Little Stagedorks Doodle

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1 month ago
Museum Asks People To Recreate Paintings At Home, Gets 30 New Impressive Photos
It appears that boredom lies behind the most creative ideas. That's why quarantine has produced some of the most entertaining activities. One of them is the Getty Museum challenge, that so many of you have already seen in our previous article here.
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
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kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
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kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
2 weeks ago

Reblog to hug prev

Please

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kittysparklezzz - Kitty's Yaptopia
Kitty's Yaptopia

Kitty | she/her | I love musicals, art and animals | Peace and love!

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