Bro was burned to a crisp.
*looks into the camera like he’s on the office*
I miss this nerd and his selfie poses
first art posted to tumblr since 2014...feels...good. (sry for the crunchy quality)
Pairing: Tech x fem!Reader / Tech x Jedi!Reader
Words: 3,028
Tags/Warnings: none, just a lot of softness
Summary: Tech finally has you back after all this time, and he's determined to let you know what that means to him.
A/N: Surprise! To celebrate 300 followers, here's my continuation of Infinite Possibilities of the Universe. I had some requests for more Tech and Sarad, and after I saw this lovely fanart from @a-cryptid-called-magetha yesterday, I was inspired to actually finish this ficlet. I have another part drafted with smut, but the tone is different enough that I wanted to keep them separate and post this first. 💙
The sun was shining, and the air was filled with the scent of flowers and grass and summer. The breeze was cool and gentle, and the sky was clear and blue, with a few wispy clouds drifting lazily across the horizon. Tech had never stopped to admire the view, and he supposed it was because he had never really thought about it.
But today was different. Today, he was seeing the world through new eyes. Today, everything seemed brighter, and more vivid, and more real.
Because today, Sarad was with him.
The first day after your return had been a blur. You had told him your story, and he had told you his. There had been tears, and laughter, and long conversations in the early hours of the morning. And, in between, there had been moments of silence, and of just being together. Of holding each other, and sharing in each other's presence, and finding comfort in the simple act of existing.
You had stayed close to him, as if afraid he would disappear. And he had understood the feeling, because he had been afraid of the same thing.
And, even now, even as he watched you walk next to him, and felt the warmth of your hand on his arm, it all felt a little unreal.
But the sunlight was bright, and the breeze was soft, and the stone was warm beneath his feet, and the world was in focus.
And Sarad was here, and she was smiling.
"This is a lovely spot," you commented as you came to a stop in front of the Archium. Tech had showed it to you yesterday, but you hadn't been in the mood to sit and enjoy the view. Today, you were more relaxed, and Tech was glad. You deserved a moment of peace.
"Yes," Tech agreed. "It is."
"I like the tree," you added, your hand trailing across the rough bark. "It's a weeping maya. I'd need to run a few tests to know for sure, but I believe it's at least two millenia old."
Tech's mouth twitched into a smile. He had known the species of the tree, but hearing it from you brought a new kind of joy. One that was warm, and sweet, and made him feel like his chest might burst. It was the kind of joy he had thought he'd lost forever. But here it was, and it was more beautiful than he had remembered.
"Are you sure?" he teased, his fingers grazing yours over the bark. "Maybe I should take a look."
You laughed, a light, musical sound that made his heart swell.
"I think you'll find that my expertise outweighs yours in this area," you replied, your eyes sparkling. "But if you're not convinced, we can always get a second opinion."
"I wouldn't dare," he chuckled, his hand settling on your waist. "Your word is the only one I trust."
"Flatterer," you accused, but there was no bite to the words.
"I simply speak the truth," he said, his smile widening.
You rolled your eyes, and the motion was so familiar, so achingly familiar, that his throat tightened, and his words faded.
Hearing your laughter, and watching you smile, and feeling your presence at his side...it was almost overwhelming. He had dreamed of this moment, but his imagination had never been able to capture the way his heart felt when you were close. The way his chest seemed to expand, and his mind grew lighter, and the world seemed brighter.
You seemed to sense his sudden change in mood, because your smile faded, and you turned to him, your expression soft and worried. "Tech? What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he murmured, his voice low. "Just...happy."
"Oh, love," you whispered, your hands moving to cup his cheeks. "It's going to be alright."
"I know." He swallowed thickly and dipped his head, avoiding your gaze. "I seem to be having trouble accepting it. That you're here. That this is real."
"I understand," you said softly. "But I promise, I'm not going anywhere."
"I believe you," he replied, his voice shaking slightly. "I'm just..."
"Overwhelmed?" you supplied.
"Yes." Tech sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Overwhelmed."
"That's alright," you said, your hands sliding down to his neck, your fingers trailing along his jaw. "Take all the time you need."
He smiled, and leaned into your touch. You were so patient, and so understanding, and so gentle. You knew exactly what to say, and how to make him feel better. He didn't deserve you, and yet, here you were. You were the most precious thing in his life, and he vowed to never let you go again. He had already spent so much time apart from you. He couldn't bear to waste another moment.
"My apologies," he murmured, his gaze dropping back to the ground. "I didn't mean to ruin the moment."
"You didn't," you assured him, and the sincerity in your voice was almost enough to make him tear up. "There will be plenty of moments, Tech. Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."
"Thank you," he whispered. "For everything."
"It's nothing," you said, your thumbs tracing circles on his cheeks. They were light, and tender, and reassuring. "It's just what we do for the people we love."
His breath caught, and he looked up, his eyes meeting yours. He felt the heat rise to his cheeks, and he swallowed thickly, trying to find the words.
"Sarad..."
"Yes?" you prompted, your voice soft and expectant.
"I love you," he managed, his voice strained.
"I love you, too," you murmured, and the corners of your lips tugged upwards. "Always."
He leaned down, his forehead resting against yours, and your eyes fluttered shut. He took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly, letting the tension ease from his body. His heart was pounding, but he didn't mind. It was a reminder that he was alive, and that you were here, and that the universe had brought you together once more.
"Are you alright?" you asked, your voice quiet.
"Yes," he replied. "I am now."
Your smile widened, and you pushed yourself onto your toes to place a gentle kiss on his lips. It was brief, and soft, and perfect, and when you drew back, your eyes were shining.
"Go on," Tech encouraged, nodding towards the tree. "I know you've been waiting for the chance to study it."
You grinned, and he felt his own smile widen. You were radiant, and beautiful, and he wanted nothing more than to capture the moment in his memory. He hesitated a moment before activating the recording device on his goggles.
The images recorded by the device were a poor substitute for the real thing, but it was something. And, even though he knew that you wouldn't be going anywhere, and that he would have countless other opportunities to see you smile, Tech didn't want to miss this.
"Are you recording me?" you asked, though you knew the answer already. He could see it in the amusement dancing across your features.
"Yes," he replied, his voice soft. "I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all," you said, giving him a sly grin. "Just don't share it with anyone. I'm not looking my best."
"Nonsense," he countered, his hands curling around yours. "You're as coruscating as the stars."
You snorted, but didn't pull away. Instead, you leaned in, your nose brushing against his, and your breath tickling his lips.
"You're biased," you teased, your eyes meeting his. Tech felt his breath catch in his throat, and he swallowed thickly, his pulse quickening. Your proximity was intoxicating, and he couldn't help but wonder if you were doing it on purpose. But then again, it didn't matter. He wasn't complaining. Not when he was this close to you.
"Perhaps," he allowed, his voice low and husky. "But that doesn't make it any less true."
You hummed, a sound that sent a shiver down his spine, and then you were kissing him, and his mind went blank. He didn't know how long the kiss lasted, but when you pulled away, he was breathless, and his knees were weak.
"What was that for?" he asked, his voice unsteady.
"No reason," you said, a sly grin spreading across your lips. "Now, can I borrow your scanner? I'd like to get a closer look at the blossoms."
"Of course," he replied, handing you the device. He was a bit dazed, and it took him a moment to gather his thoughts. You didn't seem to mind, though, and he watched as you turned your attention to the tree, running your hand over the bark and muttering to yourself.
He leaned against the trunk, content to simply watch you. There would be time for questions later, and for explanations. But for now, he just wanted to enjoy the moment. He wanted to soak in every detail, and memorize every line of your face, and commit every sound and sensation to memory. He didn't know if he would ever feel this way again, and he wanted to savor it.
He had hoped for so long, and waited for so long, and missed you so much. But now, here you were, and his heart was full. It was a strange sensation, and it took him a while to identify it. Happiness. Joy. Peace. Hope. Things he hadn't thought he would feel again. But here, in this moment, with the sun warming his skin, and the breeze rustling the leaves, and the woman he loved by his side, he felt them.
You suddenly leaped upward into the air, using the Force to vault yourself off a nearby root.
Tech blinked, startled, and then laughed, shaking his head in disbelief, the tears starting to sting his eyes forgotten. He looked up and watched as you grabbed hold of a branch and swung yourself onto it, balancing easily on the limb.
"This is amazing," you called down to him, gesturing at the tree. "I've never seen one of these with white blossoms."
Tech smiled, and his hand instinctively reached for the datapad in his pocket.
"Would you like a copy of the information I have on them?"
You pulled away from the trunk and peered down at him, your hair glinting in the sunlight. Your smile was radiant, and his breath caught in his throat. You were so beautiful. And he was so lucky.
"Please," you replied, and the delight in your voice made his heart ache. "And, if it's not too much trouble, could you include whatever you have on the soil composition of the area? I'd love to see if there's a correlation between the environment and the color variation."
"How do you know the information I have will include that?"
"Because I know you," you laughed. "And I know how meticulous you are. If there's anything you don't have, I'll come back to take some samples."
"That will not be necessary," he admitted with a wry grin. He pulled the datapad from his pocket, and began typing quickly, his fingers flying over the keys. A few moments later, the data packet had been transmitted to you, and he looked up to see you examining the results.
"Thank you," you said with a bright grin. "You're the best, Tech."
"You are very welcome," he replied, unable to keep the smile from his face. You were so enthusiastic, and curious, and full of life, and he felt his heart swell with pride and love.
"Care to join me up here?" you asked as you dropped into a seat on the branch.
"I'm afraid I would not fare as well as you," he answered, eyeing the height of your position with apprehension.
"Please?" you pout, extending a hand towards him.
"Sarad," he protested weakly, knowing full well he had lost the battle.
"Pretty please?"
"Fine," he sighed, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He pocketed his datapad and pushed himself off the trunk before he reached out and grabbed the nearest branch, pulling himself up.
The tree was large, and the branches were thick, and he didn't have much difficulty maneuvering himself up to where you were seated. When he reached your level, you leaned over and kissed his cheek, a gesture that had his heart stuttering in his chest.
You were sitting cross-legged on the branch, and you shifted over to make room for him. He sat down, his back against the trunk to steady himself, and he let one of his legs swing down, while the other remained bent at the knee. You settled in next to him, and his arm automatically wrapped around you, pulling you close.
"So, what do you think?" he asked as his hand idly traced patterns on your back.
"It's beautiful," you replied, your gaze fixed on the horizon. You leaned into his touch, and he couldn't help but smile. "I could stay here forever."
"That can be arranged," he murmured, his voice soft.
"Really?" you asked, glancing up at him.
"Yes," he said, his lips quirking into a smile. "We could set up a lab, and a greenhouse, and a small garden. We could build a home here. It wouldn't be difficult."
"A home," you repeated with wide eyes. "You would do that? For me?"
"Sarad, I would do anything for you."
He meant it, and he could see the effect his words had on you. "I would build a thousand homes for you, if that was what you wanted. I would travel to the farthest corners of the galaxy, and I would search for a thousand years, if it meant I could spend a thousand days with you."
"Tech," you whispered, your voice trembling.
"I'm serious," he said earnestly. "I have never been more certain of anything in my life."
"But what about your family? The war? All of this..." You trailed off, gesturing to the village around you. "You can't just leave it all behind."
"They would understand," he said. "They are a part of me, but they are not my only family. And, as for the war, I think I've done my part. I have seen enough, and lost enough, and suffered enough. And, now that I have found you, I cannot bear to be apart from you again. So, please, if this is what you want, I will do it. I will leave everything behind, and build a new life with you. Here, or elsewhere. Wherever you wish to go. Just tell me."
You stared at him, and the emotions swirling in your eyes were impossible to name, but he felt them all. And, when you spoke, your voice was thick with tears. "You really mean that."
"Yes," he said. He reached up and cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin. "I will not lose you again."
You smiled, your eyes shining, and his heart ached at the sight.
"I—" You swallowed thickly, your lower lip quivering. "I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything," he said as his fingers brushed a strand of hair away from your face. "Just...consider it. I won't press the issue if you're not ready."
"I am," you said quickly. "Ready, I mean."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," you breathed. "I'm sure. I've missed you so much, Tech. And I don't want to spend another day without you."
He pulled you into his arms, holding you tight. You clung to him, and he felt your tears dampen his shirt, but he didn't mind. He simply held you, and soothed you, and stroked your hair, and let you cry. He knew you needed it more than you would admit, and he would gladly give you whatever you needed.
"Then it's settled," he said, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. "We'll build a home. Just for the two of us."
"Tech, I..." Your voice trailed off, and you took a deep breath, composing yourself. "I love you. So much."
"I love you too, Sarad," he murmured.
"But are you sure this is what you want?" you asked. "A life with me?"
"Yes," he replied, without hesitation.
"You're not...you're not just saying that because you think it's what I want?"
"No," he assured you, his hands coming up to cup your face. "I am saying it because it's what I want. Because it's what I've always wanted. Even before I knew it was possible."
"Really?"
"Yes," he said softly. "I have never been more sure of anything."
Your breath hitched, and your eyes were glassy with unshed tears. You bit your lip, and Tech knew that you were trying to hold them back. He brushed his thumb over your cheek, wiping away the moisture. He felt a tear slip down his own, and you reached up to wipe it away. Your hands lingered, cupping his face, and your thumbs traced gentle circles on his cheeks.
"Then let's do it," you said, your voice wavering. "Let's build a home. Here, or anywhere else. I don't care. Just...just promise me we'll never be apart again."
"Never," he whispered.
"I can't believe it," you laughed, the sound half-sob, half-delight. "It's really going to happen. We're really going to be together."
"Yes," he murmured, leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours. "We are."
You exhaled slowly, a long, shaky breath, and then you closed your eyes, and rested your head on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around you, and he held you close, letting his chin come to rest on the top of your head as you breathed together.
The sun was warm, and the breeze was cool, and the scent of flowers filled the air. And he was here, with you. With the woman he loved, the one who had given him so much hope, and shown him a life he had never imagined. The one who had given him the stars, and the possibility of infinity, and the chance to be happy.
Taglist (also tagged some people who mentioned a sequel): @baddest-batchers @covert1ntrovert @stellarbit @bruh-myguy-what @kindalonleystars
@cw80831 @qvnthesia @totallyunidentified @heidnspeak @lovelytech9902
@frozenreptile @chocolatewastelandtriumph @etod @Puppetscenario @umekohiganbana
@resistantecho @dindjarins1ut @tech-aficionado @aynavaano @burningnerdchild
@ihatesaaand @lolwey @hobbititties @mere-bear @thegreatpipster
@lordofthenerds97 @tentakelspektakel @notslaybabes @mali-777 @schrodingersraven
@floofyroro @megmegalodondon @dangraccoon @dreamie411 @sukithebean
@bimboshaggy
the cross fic made me realize there's not enough tech angsty fanfics
how about a groveling tech trying to get femreader back like they were an item before order 66 tech broke things off, they reunite with the batch later but reader became a very sad person after all that time
an i lied because i thought you deserved better so i pushed you away situation ?
sorry if it's a long ask 😅 first timer here
I like your writing 💕
No worries! I love a detailed prompt.
Writing angst for Tech was harder than I thought it would be tbh. I think his direct communication style and self confidence make it especially difficult, so I took a slight detour here that I feel is more true to his character.
Pairing: Tech x fem!Reader
Words: 5,630
Tags/Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, allusions to torture, PTSD
Summary: Pushing you away was the logical decision. It was the right choice. But Tech never expected it to hurt so much, nor did he expect to reunite with you months after the rise of the Empire, broken and haunted by your time spent in Imperial custody. Now, he's determined to make things right.
Being in the same room as you is exceedingly difficult in a way Tech didn’t expect.
It’s been weeks since you returned, appearing like a vision from the Force to them, alive, and he still can’t quite believe it. His hands shake slightly when you look at him, his mouth goes dry. He still wants to reach out to you, hold you tight and never let you go, and it is agony to resist, to stand by your side and not be able to touch you.
You were the one who asked for space, time to readjust to being around them again. And he has respected that, despite the desperate, possessive urge to pull you back, to keep you close so you never leave his side again.
It makes it hard to concentrate. Hard to be of any use at all, really.
Tech knows this isn't healthy, the way his mind and body and emotions are behaving, but he is finding it difficult to control. He has a lot of feelings that he isn’t sure what to do with, a lot of emotions that he doesn't understand. Tech isn't one for emotional outbursts, for being ruled by his heart and not his mind. He is rational, logical, always thinking of the most efficient solution to a problem, the most practical way of doing things.
It’s what lead him to break it off with you, after all. He couldn’t afford to have his head in the clouds when so much is on the line, couldn't afford to be distracted by thoughts of you when they could be used against him.
But then you were gone, and Tech was left alone with only the cold reality of his own decisions.
He thought he had made the right choice. Thought he had been logical and sensible, thought it would hurt you less in the long run, if he pulled away. But Tech doesn't feel very sensible now, and it doesn't seem very logical that the best way to protect you would be to push you away.
You have been hurt more than enough. And even if you don't want him in your life anymore, even if you want nothing to do with him, he will never forgive himself for not trying to help.
The fact is, Tech isn’t sure what you want, but he is determined to make amends, to help in any way that he can. It might hurt, might cause him to feel pain at the distance between you, but he is willing to accept that, to live with it if that is what you need.
What he isn’t willing to live with is seeing you unhappy. And you are unhappy.
Your eyes are dark, hollow. Your face is drawn and gaunt, cheeks too thin, and when he sees you, your shoulders are slumped as though under an impossible weight. You barely eat, you barely sleep. Tech watches as you push food around your plate and drink only water. He notices how you keep to yourself, avoid talking and laughing and joking like you used to, and he hates that you have changed so much, that the Empire has taken that joy from you.
And that, more than anything, is what hurts him the most. The Empire took your light, the thing that makes you, you. They ripped your spark away and left a shell behind, and he is struggling to reconcile that with the bright and lively woman he knew, the woman who had such a profound effect on him.
"On all of us," Echo points out one night, as the rest of them watch you sitting alone.
Echo has become increasingly vocal about his feelings, something Tech is glad for. It gives him a chance to understand better, to gain perspective, and Echo has been the one to notice what Tech can't admit, the thing he isn't willing to think about, the thing that hurts the most.
You're suffering, and you're pushing them away.
At first, it seemed reasonable. You were gone a long time, and they hadn’t seen you. It made sense that you needed space.
But time has passed, and you're still not yourself.
Tech thinks back to your first night, how you flinched away from his touch, and realises how foolish he has been. He sees now how much he was hurting you, how much damage his words and actions were causing, and his heart breaks a little more.
It was never about protecting you. Not really.
Tech wanted you. He wanted you for so long, and when he finally had you, he was terrified of losing you. So, he pulled away. He cut ties, and told himself it was for the best.
Except now he has no ties to cut, no bonds left to sever. You're here, but not, and his chest aches as he watches you.
This isn't the way it should be.
Tech should be holding you, and you should be smiling. He should be telling you how much he loves you, how happy he is to have you back. He should be making sure you're comfortable and safe, ensuring that you have everything you need, everything you deserve.
Instead, he stands in the corner of the room, watching silently as his brothers try to coax you into eating, or drinking, or just saying something. Omega is the only one who is successful, who manages to make you smile.
Tech can't understand it. He tries his hardest, he does his best, and you always turn away.
And the more he tries, the more he feels the ache inside him grow, the more his feelings change, twisting and turning and growing, and he can't keep track of what's happening to him. All he knows is that the idea of losing you is the worst thing he can imagine, and the idea of being without you is becoming unbearable.
He doesn't know how much more he can take.
You've been avoiding him.
No, not avoiding. You've been staying away.
Or maybe, you've been ignoring him.
“She's not talking to me,” Tech admits one evening.
He's curled up in the corner of the cockpit, legs pulled up, head buried in his arms. The rest of the Batch have dispersed, going off to their own bunks to rest or to tinker or to read. Tech is usually the last to retire, but not tonight.
Tonight, his shoulders are slumped and his goggles are pushed up onto his head. He's been scrubbing at his face with the heels of his palms for the past few minutes, trying to work through the thoughts and emotions swirling in his mind.
You're not talking to him.
And yes, maybe it's because you're not talking to any of them, but it still feels personal.
You're not talking, not laughing, not doing anything, really. You’re just there, a shadow of your former self, a ghost.
Tech misses the woman who used to laugh and tease him, the one who could always bring a smile to his face and a blush to his cheeks. The woman who was a whirlwind of color and life, the one who lit up his world and made him see things differently. Who kissed him so deeply and passionately that it felt like his entire world was reduced down to the feel of her lips. He misses her warmth, her kindness, the way she touched him, looked at him.
He misses the way he felt around her.
He misses you.
Tech doesn't know what to do. He can't stop thinking about you, can't stop thinking about what he's done, what he could have done.
What he should have done.
Maybe if he'd tried harder. Maybe if he hadn't given up, hadn't let go. Maybe if he had listened to Hunter, had heard Echo. Maybe if he'd told you the truth, he could have stopped this.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
He sighs, rubbing at his face. He feels miserable, and it's his own damn fault. He's the one who ended things, who pushed you away. And he can't blame you for that, not when it was him who decided that you weren't worth it.
That isn't to say that he didn't care. Of course, he cared. He cares now. So much it hurts.
You are the person he was in love with, the only one. But it didn't seem fair to ask you to share his life, his world, when he couldn't promise that it would always be safe, that it would always be stable. He couldn't give you a future, couldn't provide for you the way a proper partner should, the way you deserve.
He could give you the present, but he couldn't offer you anything else.
And yet, as Tech sits here, head in his hands, he can't help but think that he should have at least tried. If he'd told you how he felt, maybe things would have turned out differently.
“I only ever wanted you,” you had told him once, and Tech can't believe how stupid he was to let you slip through his fingers.
Tech isn't used to feeling helpless. He's used to knowing exactly what he's doing, to being in control. But when it comes to you, it's as if he's floundering. He doesn't know what to do, doesn't know how to act, doesn't know what you want.
He’s tried everything, he's done everything he can, and still, you push him away.
You don't want his comfort. You don't want his love.
He doesn't understand it. You've always seemed happy around him, like his presence brings you some peace. But now, whenever he gets close, you move away. When he tries to talk, you turn your back. When he offers help, you shut him down.
Tech isn't sure why you won't accept his assistance, or why you won't talk to him. It doesn't make sense.
He can't understand, can't rationalize. And he's never felt so lost.
Tech groans, burying his face in his arms. He's being ridiculous, he knows, but he can't help the way he feels.
He misses you.
Tech misses the way your hand fits perfectly in his. He misses the smell of your hair, the softness of your skin, the sweetness of your lips. He misses the way your smile makes him feel like his heart is full, like he can take on the world, like he can conquer anything.
Tech misses the way your body feels against his. The way your fingers feel on his skin. The way your breath catches when he touches you, the way your heartbeat picks up, the way your pupils dilate.
Tech misses the way you made him feel alive.
Tech knows that he isn't worthy of your affection. He knows that he doesn't deserve your love. He's not a good man, not a good partner, not a good friend. He's not the kind of person who should have someone like you, and yet, somehow, you chose him.
But not anymore.
“I only ever wanted you.”
You said those words to him before, and they haunt him. You told him you didn't care about the risks, the dangers, the fact that he couldn't give you the future you deserve. All you cared about was him.
And he threw it away.
Tech isn't sure how long he sits there, wallowing in his misery. He doesn't move, doesn't speak. He just sits, and broods.
“Maybe she just needs time,” Echo says, though his voice sounds doubtful.
Tech shakes his head before pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead.
“She has made it clear that she doesn't wish to speak to me, or see me, or have anything to do with me."
The words sting as he speaks them. His throat is tight, and he swallows hard, trying to hold back the emotion.
"I doubt a little more time will change her mind."
There's a long silence.
Echo leans against the wall beside Tech, his arms folded. He's watching Tech carefully, his gaze piercing. Tech feels uncomfortable, and shifts, ducking his head. He doesn't like being scrutinized, doesn't like being vulnerable. He prefers to keep his emotions in check, his feelings close to his chest.
But he's finding it hard to hide them now, and his pain is obvious, even to himself.
“But she does,” Echo says finally.
Tech glances up, frowning. "Elaborate."
"She does want you," Echo clarifies, his voice gentle. "She loves you. She wouldn't have come back if she didn't.”
Tech doesn't want to admit it, but Echo has a point. If you didn't want anything to do with him, then you wouldn't have bothered to find him. You would have left, disappeared again, and never come back.
You wouldn't have risked your life for him.
Tech isn't sure if that makes him feel better, or worse.
Because it means that you do care, but it also means that you might be willing to sacrifice yourself, and Tech can't have that. He can't let you throw away your life, not for him.
Tech groans, burying his face in his hands. He's being selfish, and he knows it. You're the one who was captured, the one who suffered, the one who nearly died. And yet, all he can think about is how much it hurts.
He's been thinking about how much it hurts him. He hasn't been thinking about what you need.
"What should I do?" Tech asks, his voice small and defeated.
"Apologize," Echo replies simply.
"I have tried," Tech protests, lifting his head. "I have apologized countless times, and she does not want to listen. She doesn't want to speak to me."
"No," Echo corrects. "You've apologized for the wrong things."
"Wrong things?" Tech echoes, frowning.
"Yes, the wrong things," Echo repeats.
Tech isn't sure what Echo means by that, but his brother looks confident, sure of himself. Tech wants to believe him, but he doesn't know how. He's spent so long trying to convince himself that he did the right thing, that he did the only thing, that he can't help but doubt.
"How do I fix it?" he asks, voice quiet.
"That, I can't tell you," Echo replies. "But Tech, the first step is admitting that you were wrong."
Tech nods, letting his shoulders sag. He doesn't feel particularly good about the situation, but he's willing to try. It's not easy, admitting he was wrong. He's so used to being right, to having the answer, to knowing what's best. But when it comes to you, he has never felt so lost.
Tech thinks of the pain in your eyes, the way you flinched from him, the way you turned away.
He has to do better. He has to be better.
He has to earn your forgiveness.
"I was wrong," Tech says, his voice steady and sure. "And I'm going to make it right."
You're standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by medical supplies and overturned cots. Your face is pale, eyes wide and fearful, and Tech isn't sure what to do.
The voice of his brothers and Omega inside his head tell him you need space, but they also remind him that you need someone to look after you. That you need help. That you can't be alone.
Tech hesitates. He isn't used to this, the uncertainty, the not knowing what's best. He's never been particularly good at reading people, and even worse at knowing what they need.
He has never been more unsure than he is now.
He wants to help. He wants to take care of you, to make you feel safe, to give you what you need. But he's terrified of getting it wrong. Especially when you're standing in front of him looking like a startled animal.
You're shaking, and your breathing is fast and shallow. Your eyes are darting around the room, as if searching for something. Tech isn't sure what it is, or if it even exists. You look terrified, and Tech knows you have reason to be. The last time you were in a place like this, the Empire was holding you captive, and he can't blame you for feeling uncomfortable.
Tech has to suppress a shudder as he remembers the footage, the recordings they managed to get from the base. The screams, the cries. They haunted his dreams, and Tech can't even imagine what they did to you.
Tech wants nothing more than to run to you, to take you in his arms and promise that he will protect you. But he can't, not without permission.
Not when he isn't sure you'd even want him to.
So, instead, he stands there, watching. He keeps his distance, gives you the space you need. He's trying his best, but it isn't easy.
She just needs time, he tries to remind himself, but Tech isn't so sure.
He isn't sure if time is enough. He isn't sure if anything will ever be enough.
He watches as you stand there, your hands clenched into fists, your eyes still scanning the room. He watches as your breathing speeds up, your chest rising and falling rapidly. He watches as the panic spreads over your face, your lips pressed together, jaw tight.
You look scared, vulnerable, and Tech's heart breaks a little more.
“Cyare,” he calls out, as quiet and soothing as he can manage. You stiffen, and Tech curses himself for causing you discomfort.
He should have stayed quiet.
But then you turn, and your eyes meet his, and something inside him seems to settle.
You look so sad, so lost, and he can't help it. He walks over to you, careful and slow, making sure not to startle you. When he reaches you, he holds out his hand, palm up. He wants you to know that he is there for you, that he will not hurt you.
He will never hurt you again.
He waits, holding his breath. He's afraid that if he moves, if he speaks, you will run. So, he stands, motionless, watching as you stare at his hand.
Slowly, slowly, you reach out, your fingertips brushing his. The touch is gentle, tentative, and Tech is afraid to breathe.
Then, your hand closes around his, and he exhales.
Tech knows he's taking a risk, touching you, but he can't resist. He can't stand the thought of leaving you alone, the thought of not being able to help. He pulls you close, wrapping his arms around you. He doesn't know what else to do. He wants to hold you, to keep you safe.
He never wants to let you go.
You're shaking, your breath coming in shallow gasps. You're trembling, and Tech knows that this is a big step, that you're taking a chance. So, he holds you, and he waits.
Your body is tense, and Tech is worried that he's overstepped, that he's pushed you too far. But then, slowly, you relax. Your arms wrap around him, your head resting on his shoulder, and he can't help but sigh in relief.
The others are nearby, finishing a sweep of the facility. He should be helping, but he doesn't want to leave your side. Not when you're finally letting him be close to you.
So, he holds you, and he strokes your hair. He whispers quiet reassurances in your ear, tells you that everything will be alright, that he's got you, that you're safe.
He's not sure if you believe him, but he has to try.
He can't lose you again.
Tech is trying.
He's trying his best, but he feels like he's failing.
Every day, every hour, every minute, his mind is filled with thoughts of you.
He thinks about how you're doing, whether or not you're eating, sleeping. He thinks about the nightmares you have, the way your body shakes as you wake, pale and trembling, gasping for air.
He thinks about how his brothers can't seem to calm you, how only Omega is successful, her soft voice and gentle touch somehow bringing you some measure of peace.
Tech can't help but feel that it should be him. It should be him comforting you, not Omega. It should be him easing your pain, not his little sister.
It should be him.
He isn't sure why he can't seem to do anything right. After they left the facility, after you finally started letting him hold you, Tech thought things would get easier.
But they haven't.
You still seem so distant, so far away. You still refuse to eat, to sleep, to talk. And Tech isn't sure how much longer he can handle this.
He's frustrated. Frustrated at himself, at the Empire, at the galaxy. Most of all, he's frustrated at you. Not that he would ever admit it aloud.
You've been through a lot. More than anyone should have to go through. Tech understands that. But he can't help but feel that maybe, just maybe, if you'd been willing to accept his help earlier, things would have been different.
Tech doesn't mean it, not really. He doesn't think that it's your fault. He's just tired, and angry, and frustrated.
And, if he's being honest, he's a little jealous.
You trust Omega. You open up to her. But you won't even talk to him.
It hurts.
Tech has spent the past few weeks trying to make things right, to show you that he’s changed. But you seem unwilling to let him in, to let him help.
It's infuriating.
Tech knows he shouldn't feel this way, but he can't help it. You were his girlfriend, his partner, his lover. And now, you won't even look at him.
He's trying, but he feels like he's getting nowhere. He wants to help, wants to be there for you. But he can't do anything if you won't let him.
“I’m not sure if this is a good idea,” Omega says, her voice uncertain. Her feet swing over the edge of the bunk across from him, and her brow furrows. “Won’t she be mad?”
Tech sighs, running a hand over his face. He knows that Omega is worried, but he can't sit around any longer. He has to do something.
"She is already upset. I'm not sure anything else could make things worse."
Tech tries to sound convincing, but the truth is, he isn't sure what the consequences will be. He isn't sure what will happen, isn't sure if this is a good idea. But he has to try.
“If you’re sure,” Omega replies slowly.
Tech nods, trying his best to look confident.
"I'm sure."
He isn't.
"Okay."
Omega pulls out her datapad and types the message. Tech watches as she hits send, then lets out a shaky breath. She slides off the edge of the bunk and hurries down the ramp, leaving him alone.
Tech waits, his nerves growing with each passing second.
You are going to hate him for this, he's sure.
But he has to do it. He has to try.
"Tech?"
Your voice is quiet, uncertain. You're standing in the doorway, arms wrapped around yourself, and Tech feels his chest ache at the sight.
You're here.
You're actually here.
"Hello," he says quietly.
“Where’s Omega?” you ask, your voice sharp. You step forward, and the light catches your face. Tech can see the bags under your eyes, the paleness of your skin. You look tired, worn down, and he hates it.
Tech winces. "She's not here."
"Where is she?"
You sound panicked, and Tech doesn't blame you. The last thing he wants is to make you more stressed. But he needs to talk to you, and this is the only way.
"She is fine," Tech says, trying to sound reassuring. "I asked her to leave."
You narrow your eyes, taking another step toward him. You're still clutching your arms, as if you're trying to hold yourself together. Tech wants to reach out, to take your hands, but he knows you'll pull away.
“What do you want, Tech?” Your voice is harsh, but Tech doesn't mind. You're speaking to him, which is more than he's gotten out of you in days.
"I, ah, I wanted to talk," Tech replies, his tone hesitant.
"About what?"
Tech swallows, his throat suddenly dry. "About us."
You frown, folding your arms across your chest. "There is no 'us', Tech. There hasn't been for a long time. You made sure of that."
Your words are sharp, cutting, and Tech can't help but flinch. He deserves them, he knows. But it doesn't make the sting any less. He takes a deep breath, trying to find the words.
"I'm sorry," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "I was wrong. I shouldn't have ended things."
You stare at him, eyes wide. Tech isn't sure if you're surprised, or just angry. He can't read you, not anymore. He isn't sure if he ever could. He's always felt a little bit of awe, a little bit of fear when it came to you. And now, more than ever, he feels completely lost.
"So why did you?" you ask, your voice tight.
Tech sighs, adjusting his goggles nervously. He's not sure how to answer that. He isn't sure if he even has an answer.
"I was... afraid," he admits, his voice low.
"Afraid of what?"
Tech shrugs, looking away. "Everything. The future, the war, losing you."
You don’t say anything, and Tech takes a deep breath, forcing himself to continue.
“I ran an exhaustive cost benefit analysis, and I had determined that the risks far outweighed the benefits. I could not continue our relationship knowing that I would most likely hurt you. In my mind, I needed to end things before they went any further. Before you were able to become attached.”
"I was already attached," you whisper, your voice cracking. "I was already in love with you."
Tech's heart stutters.
"You were?" he asks, his voice quiet.
You nod, biting your lip. Tech feels his stomach twist, a mixture of guilt and hope rising in him. You were in love with him. You are in love with him. And he has hurt you more than he ever thought possible.
"I was a coward," Tech says quietly. "I knew if we had gone any further, and I were to hurt you, it would have caused me immense emotional pain. And, in the process, I would have risked my ability to perform at optimal efficiency, and that would have resulted in harm to the rest of the squad."
Tech looks up, meeting your gaze. "I didn't want to hurt you, and I didn't want to put the squad at risk. But in the end, I failed at both."
You frown, and Tech can tell that you're trying to understand.
"So, let me get this straight," you begin, your voice strained. "You broke up with me, because you thought it was the best option for everyone involved."
Tech nods, his expression pained.
“That’s not for you to decide, Tech. I can make my own decisions. And, I decided to be with you. But instead, you made the decision for both of us, and you didn't even bother to ask my opinion."
“I knew that if I had discussed it with you, you would have tried to convince me otherwise,” Tech explains, his voice soft. “And I wasn't certain I would be able to resist your arguments."
You shake your head, an incredulous look on your face. "So, basically, you dumped me because you couldn't trust yourself to make a logical decision?"
Tech's shoulders slump, and he nods, his head bowed.
"That is correct. It is also…” He looks at his hands, his expression pained. “For all of my unique modifications, I am still a clone. I am still expendable. But you, you are not. You are more important. You are special." He hesitates, swallowing hard. "You are irreplaceable."
Tech can see tears gathering in your eyes, and he feels a fresh wave of guilt wash over him. He never meant to hurt you, but it seems he has managed to do just that. And now, he doesn't know how to fix it.
"Tech, no." You shake your head. "You're not expendable. None of you are."
"That may be the case," Tech concedes. “But at the time I could not see a future in which the two of us could have a happy life together. Not with the way things were, not with the risk we faced. So, I chose the safest option."
"But we could have figured it out, Tech. We could have found a way."
Tech shakes his head, his expression weary.
"I was not willing to take the risk. I was not willing to gamble with your safety, with your happiness. It was a decision I had to make. For all of our sakes."
You are quiet for a moment, your expression thoughtful. Tech can see the pain in your eyes, the hurt and betrayal, and he wishes he could take it all away. He wishes he could erase his mistakes, undo his actions.
"You made the wrong choice," you say at last, your voice low.
"Yes, I did," Tech admits, his voice quiet. "I was wrong. About a great many things."
He looks up, his gaze meeting yours.
"But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to prove to you that I'm serious, that I want to fix things."
"Why?"
"Because I love you," Tech says, his voice breaking.
Your eyes widen, and you suck in a breath. Tech can see the surprise in your expression, the shock. He knows you didn't expect him to say it, to admit it. But it's the truth. And Tech can't hide it any longer. He can't pretend.
He has to be honest. Even if it means losing you.
"I love you," he repeats, his voice stronger this time. "I always have. I've never stopped. I didn't think I was capable of loving anyone, not like this. But, you changed that." He pauses, swallowing hard. "I don't want to lose you, cyare. Not again. Not ever."
"Tech."
You say his name softly, your voice cracking. Tech can see the tears welling in your eyes, and his chest aches. He wants to take you in his arms, wants to kiss away the pain, but he knows he can't. He knows he has to let you decide. He has to let you choose.
You step forward, and his breath hitches in his chest. You're so close, so near, and Tech wants nothing more than to hold you. But he doesn't. He stays where he is, waiting.
You reach out, your hand cupping his cheek, and Tech leans into the touch, savoring the warmth of your skin. You're looking at him, your eyes searching his, and Tech hopes that you can see the truth in them, the sincerity. He hopes that you can feel how much he loves you, how much he needs you.
"I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice breaking.
You nod, and he can see the tears streaming down your cheeks. Tech wants to wipe them away, but he doesn't move. He stays where he is, watching you, waiting. You're still staring at him, and Tech feels a flicker of hope bloom in his chest.
"I'm sorry, too," you whisper, your voice raw. "I'm sorry I shut you out. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry for everything."
You pause, biting your lip. "I love you, Tech. I never stopped. And, I don't want to lose you, either."
Tech's heart swells, and he can't stop the tears that come, or the smile that spreads across his face. You're looking at him with such tenderness, with such love, that he can't help but reach for you, pulling you close, wrapping his arms around you, holding you tight. You melt into his embrace, your arms winding around his waist, your face buried in his chest.
Tech can feel your tears, wet against his skin, and he runs a hand through your hair, trying to soothe you. You cling to him, your grip almost desperate, and Tech feels his heart break a little more.
You've been through so much, endured so much pain, and he was part of it. He was responsible for it. And he doesn't know how to make it better. He doesn't know how to take away the hurt, the betrayal, the fear. All he can do is hold you, and promise to never let you go.
"Cyare," he breathes, his voice choked with emotion. "You will never lose me. I am yours. Always."
And then, you lift your head, and his eyes meet yours, and Tech can't stop the surge of emotion that rushes through him. You're so beautiful, so perfect, and he can't believe how lucky he is.
You're the best thing that has ever happened to him, the only thing that has ever made him feel alive. And now, here you are, in his arms, telling him you love him. It's everything he's ever wanted, everything he's dreamed of. And it's real. You're real. You're here. And you're his.
"I love you," Tech whispers, and then he leans in, capturing your lips with his.
The kiss is soft, gentle, filled with everything he's feeling, everything he can't say. And when you pull away, Tech's heart skips a beat, and he wonders how he ever thought he could live without you.
"I love you," you whisper back, and Tech can't stop the smile that spreads across his face, the tears that sting his eyes. He holds you tight, and the world seems to fade away, leaving just the two of you.
He's never letting you go again.
I wanna know how Hunter became the leader of the Bad Batch. Like, not saying any of the others would have been better, I just mean, there were only four options: a sassy little iPad kid, a trigger-happy man bear, the problematic guy with the toothpicks, and Space Rambo. We can’t assume it was because he was the least chaotic, because nothing could be farther from the truth. In TCW season 7, Anakin asks him who they report to and he’s just like “idk man, if I knew how to fill out a report maybe I’d try and find out” and when Anakin gets snatched up by that lizard dragon thingy, the first thing his brothers do is get set up so that Hunter can windsurf behind it like a maniac because apparently that’s something he tends to do. In TBB S1 when Omega starts that food fight, Hunter tries to de-escalate the situation for approximately 3 seconds before throwing hands. All of his interactions with any sort of leadership involve a minimum of 70% sarcasm. The man has a blaster to shoot droids and chooses to stab them with a knife instead. He left cadet training and the first thing he did was get a massive face tattoo of a skull.
Like, I’m trying to imagine how that conversation went and all I can think of is, “Sir, it’s time to promote one of the members of Clone Force 99 to sergeant.” “…*long sigh*”
omega screaming for hunter to come to her room because “the monster is back” and it’s just crosshair coming home from getting a pack of cigs at night and standing in the door like this