"I'm Old Enough To Be Your Mom" Proved World's Second Best Pickup Line

thoughts rn:

lydia: i need her to crush me a shes a spider

rose (affini): i need to collar her

you can domesticate a trans girl by putting your thumb on her tongue

computer that pins you down to your chair with its tendrils and automatically pulls up embarrassing porn that it forces you to watch while it methodically plays with your body and abuses your holes with a little too much mechanical force until youre cumming your brains out like a pathetic little mess and then when its done and youre sitting there like a stupid fucked out loser it hits you with the full screen ^_^ before going back to being a normal computer. they're selling it at best buy ive heard

Reblog if you

1. Want to get pegged by a 9-15 foot tall plant women

2. Your Flort looks REALLY cute right now

Or

3. You could absolutely DEVOUR some garlic bread right now

But don’t say which one it is

trans women will see "floret" and instantly hit reblog

sorry for being nerdy, may i suck you off sis?

As a leading expert in sex, let me tell you my classification schema for different type of masturbation techniques.

first, i will define masturbation as an act that is done for sexual pleasure, alone or with someone else.

when classifying masturbation, the most important factor is the location where sexual pleasure is applied. these can be:

Penile (shaft of the penis)

Testicular

Clitoral (including the head of the penis)

Labial

Vaginal

Perineal (on the perineum)

Anal

Extra-Sexual (not related to the sex organs)

Mental (eg erotic hypnosis)

then the means of masturbation:

manual (without a toy)

vibratory instrumental (with vibrating toy)

non-vibratory instrumental (with a non vibrating sex toy)

then the manner of masturbation:

rubbing

hammering (touching and then not touching something repeatedly, for example riding a dildo/ penis)

mental does not have the means or manner subtypes. meaning there is 49 types of masturbation.

there is also co-masturbation, which enables masturbation but isn't masturbation itself, such as porn, erotica, and lube

and also anti-masturbation, which halts masturbation, such as a safe word or shame when a parent comes home

As a leading expert in sex, let me tell you my classification schema for different type of masturbation techniques.

first, i will define masturbation as an act that is done for sexual pleasure, alone or with someone else.

when classifying masturbation, the most important factor is the location where sexual pleasure is applied. these can be:

Penile (shaft of the penis)

Testicular

Clitoral (including the head of the penis)

Labial

Vaginal

Perineal (on the perineum)

Anal

Extra-Sexual (not related to the sex organs)

Mental (eg erotic hypnosis)

then the means of masturbation:

manual (without a toy)

vibratory instrumental (with vibrating toy)

non-vibratory instrumental (with a non vibrating sex toy)

then the manner of masturbation:

rubbing

hammering (touching and then not touching something repeatedly, for example riding a dildo/ penis)

mental does not have the means or manner subtypes. meaning there is 49 types of masturbation.

there is also co-masturbation, which enables masturbation but isn't masturbation itself, such as porn, erotica, and lube

and also anti-masturbation, which halts masturbation, such as a safe word or shame when a parent comes home

as a sub, thank you dommes for making us subs feel so good. i know often you all get a little ignored, so that's why im saying thank you on behalf of all subs. please continue being you <3

"Can i spoon you?" boring. tired. pathetic.

"Roll over and lie still, you're going to be my stuffie tonight." clear. directional. whimsical but in a little-domme kinda way.

me taking the drugs that makes you happy and horny when you touch plampt (Class As)