My New Favourite Purchase

No lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponential, logarithmic, while I gasp for air, scream and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cow girl, doggy, backwards, forwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, dick throbbing, first clenching, ear ringing, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earth quaking, sheet gripping, knuckles cracking, jaw dropping, hair pulling. teeth jitterbug, mind blogging, soul snatching, Overstimulating, vile, sloppy, moan inducing, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious, gushy, creamy, beastly, lip biting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, body shivering, orgasmic, bone breaking, world ending, black hole creating, universe destroying, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, delectable, unbelievable, body numbing, bark worthy, cant walk, head nodding, soul evaporating, volcano erupting, sweat rolling, voice cracking, trembling, sheets soaked, hair drenched, flabbergasting, lip locking, skin peeling, eyelash removing, eye widening, pussy popping, nail scratching, back cuts, spectacular, brain cell dissolving, hair ripping, show stopping, magnificent, unique, extraordinary, splendid, phenomenal, mouth foaming, heavenly, awakening, devils tangos, he could come at me with his sword and I'd still get on my knees and beg for more

OoT Gan is just horrified by what I did to him ignore his expression

The delusions have gotten to the point where I literally DREAMED that I was playing TEARS OF THE KINGDOM.

I DONT EVEN OWN TEARS OF THE KINGDOM YET

almost (like 999999.99%) finished playing my normal play through of botw (⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)

Oh my god I just realised right

Do you know how we have Adams apple's and Achilles heels and tendons yeah?

I literally just realised that because greek gods/mythology and Christianity doesn't exist in Hyrule, they won't refer to these as the names we call them

hold on I'm an idiot let me try to put it into words like I'm not an idiot (which I am)

Would they call things like Achilles heels/tendons like Farore/Naydra/Din/Hylia's heel/tendons? Or do you think that they would have other names from them (like referring to scientific names) since of the ties to greek myth that our names for them have.

Like

Instead of saying "Jesus Christ" would they say "Zelda"? Since there is no jesus in Zelda (no Christian jesus) since like Zelda could be a stand in for being jesus since she is both Zelda and hylia, like how jesus is both jesus and god?

ok my brain hurts thinking too hard about this I think I might just be a dumbass ok bye

HOLY SHIT THERES GOING TO BE A NEW ZELDA GAME AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I CANT WAIITT IT LOOKS SO COOL!!!!

FINALLY WE CAN PLAY AS ZELDAA

link to the announcement vid:

at least there's always the Character

made a silly little animation (?) in a TV paint workshop today

(awww hair got in his eye from the wind💔💔💔)

might make a community for our wife and saviour Ganondorf

(Edit: it's been made! Link to it is in the reblogs!!)

family portrait