TBH I Was Hoping For Touya To Die. So, He Won’t Suffer Anymore And I Really Don’t Want Him To Be

let's talk about lily evans and the marauders, aka moony, wormtail, padfoot and prongs. given that i didn't use their actual names, i think you can figure out where this is going. it's also long as hell, so. canon vs fanon, marauder edition, except snek is sleep deprived.

now, before we begin, i don't dislike the marauders. or lily, tbh. if I'm being perfectly, genuinely honest, i still go back and forth sometimes but they've been growing on me for a while now. the canon versions, at least. fanon does them real dirty, and that's part of why i'm writing this, because i'm genuinely tired of it. it's an injustice.

you can at least make excuses for james and lily, who were so undeveloped that jkr practically dropped a fill-in-the-blank sheet of character information in our laps, but sirius, remus and peter were around long enough for y'all to get real acquainted with them.

in canon, sirius black is an unhinged mf. genuinely. this isn't to say he's a bad guy, in fact, we see that he's still capable of doing good things, still capable of love, still capable of all the things that prove he's actually not bad at heart, just,,, severely traumatised and very steeped in negativity from his time with the dementors. what i'm saying is that this man is absolutely, no questions asked, no holds barred demented, and how could he not be? the guy sat wrongfully imprisoned in azkaban for twelve years, a good portion of which he spent as a dog in order to protect himself from the dementors. he certainly wasn't completely insane, but you cannot tell me that he was all there. he got out of azkaban fuelled almost solely by the intent to get revenge on pettigrew, tried to commit murder in front of three witnesses who were also children—one of whom was his godson—ate rats and was also malnourished, which i'm certain did not help the situation any. this man is off his goddamn rocker, and you know what? you love to see it. good for him.

oh, but, snek, that's what he's like as an adult. what about when they were at school? before azkaban? my guy, the reaction he has to grimmauld place is not the reaction of someone without trauma. i don't believe that walburga and orion were the type to physically abuse their children, but whatever happened in that house helped to fuck him up enough that he skipped the joke of part of practical joke, and pranked snape by telling him how to meet a werewolf that he knew would be fully transformed and dangerous to humans. more than that, the werewolf was remus, whom he's friends with, and who—best case scenario—would be facing a trial if james hadn't stepped in. you can say that maybe he didn't think about or understand the gravitas of his actions, but at the end of it, that's not how properly sane people react to people they dislike, and that's not how they treat their friends. if anything, it reads like he was in the middle of a breakdown and absolutely losing his shit and he wasn't thinking at all.

my guy went through some serious shit, and was in no way completely mentally stable. we can see pretty clearly that he's got a serious dark side to him that probably would have gone unbridled had he not disagreed with his family, and yet, fanon took one look at him and went, "teehee, uwu bad boi go vroom."

fanon said padfoot is a pretty boy with nice hair who is tastefully traumatised from his horribly abusive household. sirius rides his motorcycle and plays jokes and flirts with anything that moves, but he can do no real wrong and always comes back to his soft, bookish, chocolate-loving boyfriend remus, who will laugh about his lycanthropy and quietly disapprove but secretly laugh at his friends' antics while hiding his smile in his cardigan.

respectfully, what in the absolute fuck.

i'd put that meme in here if i could, the one that's like, "well done, you've broken _______ down to its bare essentials," but no. i can't bc it doesn't even apply. this isn't a meme, it's theseus' fucking ship.

fanon broke it down, and replaced the pieces one by one until we got to this point, where we need to sit down and ask ourselves, "is this even the same character?"

the answer is no, by the way. it isn't. when people talk about woobifying characters—you know, taking away every flaw they have, romanticising everything they do and making them only capable of doing good, wonderful, lovely things?—this is what we mean.

and it'd be one thing if it was just the one character, but, no. fanon went all in and made them all squeaky clean and boring, especially peter, who draws the shortest of the straws.

remus got fucked, too. not just because fanon insists on sticking him into a relationship with sirius. which, we'll tackle wolfstar in a bit, but that's not even the worst of it. here, we have yet another example of blatant, rampant woobifying. again, is he a bad person? no. we know he's a good guy, we know he's generally kind and well-mannered, we know that he wants to fo the right thing but hey, fun fact. did you know that you can be nice and a coward? did you know that you can be benevolent and good and kindly and have the greatest of intentions and still be shady as fuck? no? ask dumbledore. the man played people like chess pieces when he needed to, and he was a twinkly grandpa. these are things that can coexist.

teenage remus is a coward who, understandably, does not stand up to his friends, likely for fear of being ostracised, and doesn't uphold his prefect duties as he should and takes part in their bullying of snape as a result. he lets them romp with him in werewolf form while they are in their animagus forms and then, he lets them continue to do so even after they have multiple close calls, which, again, had anything happened, would have resulted in a trial in the best case scenario.

grownup remus is still a coward, he tells no one that sirius can move about the school in his animagus form despite wholeheartedly believing that he's a mass murderer, he tries to run out on his wife and unborn kid. he isn't deliberately making attempts to harm anyone, but he's content to sit back and let things happen to him and around him so he doesn't rock the boat, although he is capable of action, which we see when he is more than willing to help sirius merk pettigrew in the shack. he can be careless, he runs out to the shack knowing he hasn't taken his wolfsbane and ends up transforming in front of the students he, as a teacher, is meant to be protecting. of course, this doesn't negate his good qualities, it just bears repeating that his flaws do exist, and they're pretty serious.

fanon moony is always pleasant and kind and soft-spoken and bookish, and he always has to have his chocolate. he knows when to tell off his friends, and he'll do it, even if he's secretly amused by everything they do and laughs about it with his best friend, lily evans, who coincidentally spends all her time with them so he and sirius can go on double dates with james and lily and no one has to remember peter exists.

why. theseus' ship 2.0. does the actual character still exist or is this something entirely different thing bearing the same name?

as for peter, who needs peter pettigrew, the actual, legitimate, fourth marauder when you have lily evans? canon pettigrew is opportunistic as fuck. he's latching himself to the biggest bad on the block and he's going all in. for teenage peter, that was james and sirius, and for adult peter, that's voldemort. canon peter is good enough at transfiguration to master the animagus transformation, just like his friends, and he's good enough at potions to brew the potion that gives voldemort a body. and honestly, you can't say he wasn't brave. he could've run off somewhere and died, or changed his identity or something after he faked his death and framed sirius, but, no. he goes and resurrects voldemort. that's fucked up, yeah, but it happened and honestly, i respect that it. he stuck to his guns.

fanon wormtail is lucky if he exists beyond being a spineless sycophant for james and sirius, or an evil conniving little rat who's looking to toss his entire friend group to the wolves at eleven.

of course, this isn't meant to negate his bad qualities, he still murdered people and framed sirius and sold out the potters to die, but his good characteristics do exist, and james, sirius and remus genuinely were his friends.

and now, we get to lily and james.

we have hardly any information on either of them. they're a pair of cardboard cutouts that we can paint and stick flyers to and colour outside the lines however we want. we can do whatever the fuck, as long lily is brave and smart and somewhat kind and james is brave and willing to die for his family. we were essentially handed a pair of ocs.

and yet.

what little bits of canon we have are thrown out of the window regardless.

james is privileged and rich, and he throws hexes for fun. he's willing to hex lily when she disagrees with him, and then, he goes behind her back to continue hexing snape after she believes that he's stopped doing so. and that's all we know about him until he dies for his family at twenty-one years old. once again, say it with me: this does not negate his good qualities. he definitely had them, he took sirius in when sirius ran away from home, he became an animagus to keep remus company as a wolf, and he saved snape in the shack, thereby saving remus and sirius by extension. him having flaws does not make him a bad person.

fanon prongs is a feminist. he fights for equal rights for women everywhere, and he constantly treats his girlfriend, lily, like an absolute queen. he's the hottest boy in school and everyone claps when he walks through the halls. mcgonagall and dumbledore are always patting him on the back and making jokes with him. he has a built-in dark detector that helps him sense when someone is a evil and needs to he punished.

give me a break. the dude's cool and all, but was the gary stu treatment necessary?

...oh, he needed to match fanon lily? right, right.

canon lily is a contradiction unto herself. she's supposedly a great friend, but since we see her at a point where they were already drifting apart, we see her putting little effort into keeping their friendship afloat. she victim blames based on rumours, she doesn't seem to care over much about what snape has to say about the people who have been tormenting him since day one. and she's justified, of course, she doesn't have to stick around. canon lily is a bit of hypocrite, she says that snape calls everyone of her birth mudblood, but then that begs the question why she still hangs around with him if that's the case. he calls her mudblood, she retaliates by calling him snivellus, and finishes up with a dig about his underwear, which, sure, it's kicking a man with a rusty spoon and pouring salt in the wound, but she's, again, justified. i get where she was coming from. and then, of course, she dies for her kid after marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied her quote-unquote best friend for their entire school careers. but, like i said, canon lily is, in many ways, a contradiction.

lily is basically a plot device. she pushes everyone's narrative but her own, and does little else.

of course, this trend would continue in fanon. fanon lily exists to be the perfect girl who gets really angry over the slightest injustice, and of course, she gets to be one half of one of the oldest enemies-to-lovers "it was just sexual tension" cliche pairings in the book. she's just,,, a mary sue. in so many fics, so many headcanons, she's just pettigrew's stand-in, a girl to form a gang with marlene, mary and dorcas—who happen to be more undeveloped ocs who also get the woobify mary sue treatment—to parallel the marauders. there is nothing compelling about her character when she's presented as a saint, and even less when she's supposedly the other moral compass for the marauders that doesn't actually work because she thinks that james is cute.

and this brings me to the next topic. jily. what, why, how. this was supposed to be a healthy, happy relationship that would have lasted in the long run? absolutely not. even for its time, i can't say that i see it lasting.

first of all, jkr presents james' crush on lily as just that: a crush. a mildly obsessive one, but a crush nonetheless, which she tries to liken to the pulling of pigtails. and then, we see that james' way of getting her to go out with him consists of blackmail, and when that doesn't work, he resorts to threatening her. this could have been set aside if he had actually, genuinely changed when they started spending more time together, but as we're told by sirius and remus, he didn't. he just got better at hiding what he was up to. and it has to be that he hid it, because if she knew, this further damages the character that she's set up to have and paints her out to be either unable to stand up to him or an enabler.

regardless, they get married. and while i have trouble believing that it was out of genuine love, there are scenarios that could make some semblance of sense. it's wartime, after all, and maybe lily is worried about her stability in the wizarding world, so why not marry into an established family whose son is already showing interest? or perhaps, she falls into the trap of every bad boy cliche ever, and she thinks to herself, well, i got him to be better then, maybe i can get him to do even better in the future. or maybe, she doesn't get into a relationship with him immediately and sees him on and off, until eventually, she accidentally gets pregnant and they scramble to have a shotgun wedding so as not to leave lily alone at nineteen with a baby. or maybe they marry each other because they're there and sure, neither of then is ready and they don't know what love even is but what else is there to do when there's a dark lord about? anyways, the point is, they get married.

and then what? if we count pottermore into canon, he goes on to further damage her relationship with petunia and vernon, to the point where she ends up crying. if we don't, she fades into the background enough that nobody has anything to say about her. she's harry's mum, she's james' wife, lily potter, she was kind and smart and brave and that's it. her agency is gone, anything else we have of her personality is gone.

jily just,,, wasn't built to last. and, yeah, this,,, this is a hill i'll die on.

same with wolfstar, honestly. there are so many reasons why it wouldn't work, but fanon has made it so fucking prevalent that it's literally everywhere no matter where you look.

first of all, i've said it before and i'll say it again. sirius is more likely to get with james that he is to ever end up in a relationship with remus. their chemistry is just,,, underdeveloped. net zero for a relationship.

secondly, sirius instigated the werewolf prank, and lupin would have paid the price for it. this could have been overlooked, but he doesn't seem the slightest bit guilty about any of it when it's brought up in poa. he could have been responsible for lupin losing the security of his place at hogwarts in the best case scenario, and in the worst case, his life. and he seems to look forward to full moons, even though they clearly aren't pleasant for remus, which,,, yeah, you're going to have fun, but like, maybe be concerned about the fact that your friend undergoes excruciating pain and it isn't a pleasant time for him? read the room, my g.

thirdly, they don't trust each other as much as fanon seems to think they do. they were both willing to believe each other the traitor before ever suspecting pettigrew. sirius thought remus gave away the potters, hell, he thought remus was a spy for voldemort, and remus was convinced that sirius was a mass murderer. neither of them needed to be convinced.

fourthly, maybe i'm reading too much into it, but like. sirius had money. remus had no money, since, yk, he was a werewolf and struggling for cash and still, sirius,,, did not leave him any money. i feel like if you had money to spare, you would give to your friend who is literally poor. but, again, maybe i'm reading too much into it and this isn't as valid a point as i think it is.

and ehh, the fifth reason is that it's,,, actually very much not the representation for the ltgbt community that fanon says it is but y'all aren't ready for that conversation.

anyways, just,,, even when you set the couple shit aside, the power dynamics between everyone here is fucked. like, james and sirius are clearly at the top of food chain calling the shots and egging each other on. then there's lily, who isn't even a marauder, but is always ever-so-slightly above remus but still not on their level, because, well. neither of them actually listen to her. remus is the novelty friend, the friend who's,,, alright, i guess, but you keep them around specifically because they're funny or they can dance or they have something that you can either show off to other people or keep as your little inside joke, your little secret, yk? and peter is just sort of there. like, yeah, he can do what we can but does that make him as good as we are? no. does he have a funny little something about him that we can exploit? nah. therefore he sits at the bottom. and like, yeah, james and sirius are on the same level, but james is yanking sirius' chain, not the other way around. anyways, like i said. power dynamic's fucked and it bothers me that we were given all of this, and fanon decided to take it all and throw it away so they could give us flamboyant!badboi!sirius black x softboi!motherhen!remus lupin going on double dates with feminist!trustfundbaby!james potter and saint!lily evans while ignoring peter pettiwho?

theseus' fucking ship, indeed.

anyways, this needed to be said. it might not make as much sense as i want it to, considering it's 4:12 in the morning as i'm posting this, after taking a break from writing to do some research and coming across way too much content about fanon marauders, but it's here and it still makes enough sense that you can read it and understand what i mean. and like, at the end of the day, you can go ahead and headcanon whatever you please, you can write fic and make art and do whatever you like, just,,, remember that they're exactly that. headcanons. stop presenting fanon as canon. please. i'm literally begging. we actually have evidence against it. just,,, acknowledge that they're headcanons and stop putting them forward as though they're able to fit into canon. please.

“Here. It’s called Shu Hui. It’s an alternate showdown ending. It happens in one on one Heylin versus Xiaolin showdowns only. When someone changes sides during the fight, it means there are no enemies, so the showdown stops by itself… Wait, Omi, you didn’t become evil, did you? “

“Run! To the bunker!”

Last days of the uprising. The greatest and the most despicable all leaps for freedom. He swore he voted against it and yet his honour did not let him abandon the men and women he had fought for for the last five years… and of course he joined the fights. How could he not? It was his duty. Somehow, on those chilly September days he found himself reminiscing about his life and his choices. The good and the bad, the ones he regretted and the ones he had found joy in. Just an old man reflecting on his decisions even though they did not matter in the larger perspective. In the end it all led to one September day. When t h a t  d a y came, paradoxically, he was and he was not ready. And yet, without a second thought he led his men through the flames into the bunker, as the sky fell on him. A single foolish Pole for whom the world had truly ended.

ah yes, did i mention he literally died in ‘44?   

Hetalia Historical Week- Day 3

Up in Ashes

@historical-hetaliaweek​

people I still want to stab over a decade later:

Creative Writing Professor at a former college: Welcome to creative writing! By the way, you will not write fantasy, ghost stories, pranormal, or science fiction in this class, as this is a creative writing course.”

Kissing Their Foreheads [Twst Third Years]

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗SYNOPSIS: You kiss their foreheads.

♡︎ Includes: Third Years

[First Years]☆[Second years]☆[Here]☆[One final forehead kiss]

⋆⋅☆Cater:

It took him a moment to realize that you had kissed his forehead, but when the realization fully processed inside his head, he hugged you. He was happy that you kissed him there since he understands the meaning behind kisses. He took a picture of both of you but, for once, didn’t share it. He would like to keep this moment for himself since he felt so content with you showing him affection.

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⋆⋅☆Trey:

You can even catch him off guard while he is cooking, and his reaction will be the same. He gives you a sweet smile and caresses your hair. He is accustomed to kissing his younger siblings' foreheads and receiving some in return, so he sees the gesture as something completely normal.

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⋆⋅☆Leona:

Leona gives you the biggest side eye ever. "What was that for, Herbivore?" Throw him in the pit! You need to explain that you just wanted to kiss his forehead, as if he didn’t know already. He will probably just go back to sleep. As you start to stand up, ready to leave him alone since he clearly didn’t seem that fazed with the kiss, he just pulls you down. Now you are stuck with a sleeping Leona. If you decide to rest and fall asleep, he gives you a forehead kiss.

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⋆⋅☆Vil:

He raises his eyebrow at you, but then laughs it off. He takes hold of your hand and kisses it while staring at you the whole time, making you turn into an embarrassed mess. He just loves that look of yours, so he gets a little bolder and slowly kisses up your arm. Once he is done, he tells you your hair looks dishevelled and suggests you come with him so that he can fix it. Will he really just fix your hair? We will never know.

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⋆⋅☆Rook:

Finds it so interesting that you just kissed his forehead. To be fair, he knows that you have been kissing everyone’s forehead, so he was just waiting painfully for his turn. Now that he finally got his kiss, he isn’t completely satisfied. Only one kiss? If you give in and give him another, he will go in for your defenceless neck and give it a kiss. You jump in your spot with the unexpected touch, and you can only watch as he laughs at your embarrassed reaction.

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⋆⋅☆Idia:

He had been hiding from you since he overheard your conversation about kissing him with Ortho. Don't get him wrong, he had been dreaming of you kissing him for the longest time ever, but the thought of it actually happening scares him away. So when you found his hiding spot, his room, and just took hold of his blushing face, you gave him a soft forehead kiss. He won't move from his spot no matter what you do, so you just decide to leave him alone. At night, he will be giggling, twirling his hair, waving his legs in the air while thinking about the kiss you gave him.

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⋆⋅☆Lilia:

Oh my, a forehead kiss? He is so glad for the sweet gesture. However, he is also aware that you have been kissing everyone’s foreheads, and he had been spending all of his time hearing a whining Malleus who had yet to receive one of those kisses from you. So he takes hold of you and just teleports you to Malleus, leaving the two of you alone.

──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

⋆⋅☆Malleus:

Literally runs to you as soon as he sees you, with this not suspicious at all look on his face as he tries to start a normal conversation with you. But he keeps on throwing random comments about kisses and foreheads. He keeps showing his forehead to you as if trying to convey what he wants. When you tell him that you can't reach his forehead, his eyes widen as he had never thought of it before. So he leans down, and he finally gets his well-deserved kiss. You can see how happy he is, there is this silly smile plastered on his face, and he can’t get it to go away.

@k4sumis0u

I make references to afterlife because in times of crisis like this, it comforts me. But I’d like to mention no matter what you believe in, your empathy is needed. And your voice matters.

I know we’ve already read a lot of “men writing women” crap, but I am absolutely losing my mind at this passage

me: *gets depressed*

my breasts:

A Blacksmith’s Dream

I’m seriously heart broken because of the latest events in Poland…

My love letter to Scar and Lex from AVP

aka 'why AVP is definitely a love story XD'

(I was talking to someone about this yesterday who is definitely not a monsterfucker, and they were not convinced by my take on AVP at all XD. I think this is definitely a monsterfucker spin on the movie)

_

her expression when she's peeking through the wall and watching him go through his scarring ritual is curious, not fearful

he's obviously curious about her too, and doesn't attack, letting her say her piece before deciding what to do about her

she's the one who calls him friend first :) (admittedly, it's in an 'enemy of my enemy' context, but hey)

he could kill her here, but hesitates a long time:

He's clearly torn about letting her come with him, but when he sees her looking at him like this, he can't help but want to assist her:

He does not have time to waste hacking a xenomorph to bits, let alone giving Lex Xeno Biology: 101, but he does it all the same, and he even makes a little joke to lighten the situation

He cobbles together some gear to keep her safe:

His plucky human goes first into the danger ahead, but he's there, guarding her back. Plus, he's taller so he can see ahead too:

He lets her take care of her friend and doesn't butcher him to get at the parasite/hatchling/chestburster. Instead he waits for her to leave, then catches the thing and destroys it (so as not to upset her further?):

Even in the heart of the hatchery, where time is 100% of the essence, he pauses yet again to explain the self-destruct feature on his vambrace to her: (10/10 for communication, Scar)

Yautja can run way faster than humans, but he stays half a pace behind her for the entire escape sequence:

Tell me this isn't the face of a man in wonder at the person before him:

And Lex isn't exactly... unaffected... oof

Then he waits for her to nod her consent, and does a really tidy job of marking her as a Blooded, and his concentration is to the max!! (his little purr after he's finished is so cute too). The he bows in respect to her. She may be human, but she's his equal as a warrior.

After Lex has saved his life and injured (and seriously pissed off) the Alien Queen, and while she's tearing the place to bits to get at Lex, Scar does the most Extra™ spin attack to draw her attention away from Lex, lodging his combistick right through her face. Bad. Ass!

Then while Lex gets away, he roars and flares his mandibles in a challenge at the Queen, which gives Lex the opportunity she needs to pick up the chain, and the two of them haul on it together and work seamlessly. They clearly understand each other without the need for words, or ego. This is very much a Team Effort:

He protecc:

Bonus Alien vs Predator shot :)

This heartbreaking scene, where he feels like he's trying to tell her something (in the novel, he apparently says 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend' in her voice...)

Lex seems genuinely grief-stricken when he dies:

I wonder how long she stayed there like that before the Ancient's ship showed up?

Lex' final expression:

In short, this definitely is an inter-species love story and you can pry that theory from my cold, dead little claws :).

Also why did he have to die??? T.T