Flirting With Eliksni

mood 💀

One Destiny 2 headcanon I’ve always had is that the Vanguard has now had to set up a very specific set of rules for all Guardians that are 90% caused by shit the Young Wolf has done.

They include but are not limited to:

1. Do not Strand grapple to ships as they leave the hangar. This is directed to one person and one person only. You know exactly who you are.

2. Don’t give random kinderguardians Gjallarhorns. We do not need to build a third Tower

3. Stop telling New Lights ‘kys’ means ‘keep yourself safe’. Crow is still running from Osiris

4. Do not use multiple fire extinguishers as a replacement engine on Sparrows, especially while INSIDE the Tower.

5. Do not use fire extinguishers as ‘jetpacks’ either

6. All fire extinguishers are now off limits to The Young Wolf. Please report any missing ones to the Vanguard

7. Do not create a ‘pigeon army’, lead them to the Tower, throw a bag of bird seed on the ground and then leave. Seriously I have never seen this many pigeons in one place before. Wolf where did you get this many pigeons

8. If you set off fireworks in the Tower, don’t let them fall over please

You know the Grimm version of Snow White makes more sense than most versions if only because in that version Snow White was like 7 years old.

Hello?

It's already been a long day for them, but looking down and seeing these two arrive together was probably the weirdest part somehow

One rescuer tries to be encouraging with Omi's little reassuring smile and thumbs-up, while the other half of this rescue team is just Chase Young sending up a death-glare like he doesn't even want the trapped kids to come down

And poor Dojo's just confused, as he so often is

thoughts on the lore seeming to imply the young wolf might be one of, if not the most powerful active guardian? (example: old farm ambient dialogue indicating that between rise of iron and the red war, the guardian defeated shaxx in the crucible 3-2 https://youtu.be/S1r4wOUFR-4, the only guardian aside from ikora to do so). i personally don't mind it and actually think it's kinda cool, but a lot of people seem really opposed to the idea so im just wondering what your opinion is

Oh that's a cool line, haven't heard it before.

Yeah, I think the Young Wolf is for sure among the stronger Guardians. We are, first and foremost, some sort of an outlier, almost like an anomaly, that affects timelines. In all previous timelines that Elsie knows about, there was never a Young Wolf and we never killed the Black Heart and that one single divergence doomed all other timelines. It's the sole reason why Elsie popped up in D1 to help us with the Black Heart, as it was one of the possible options she hadn't tried yet.

And ever since, we've definitely fulfilled the role of this outlier figure. Obviously, it's hard to say, like, which specific parametres to use to determine how strong a Guardian is and all, but I definitely think that we should count as some of the strongest ever, especially with how well we're capable of commanding both Light and Darkness. There's a reason why Osiris considers us his equal and expects a lot from us.

This panic happens like every few months.

sherlock holmes deduces you are trans before you've figured it out yourself and refers to you with those pronouns and then when you look confused is like "ah...had you not arrived at that conclusion yet?" and wafts away in his dressing gown to smoke seventeen pipes, leaving you in a gender crisis